Driven to Destiny A PK’s Journey to Identity and Purpose By Minister Davonia Williams
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The two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why,” said Mark Twain. I believe that truer words have never been spoken. When you are born, there is hope that greatness has just entered into the world. When you finally realize why you are born, that hope of greatness can be transformed into reality. I grew up in a Christian home with very loving and caring parents who became pastors when I was just three years old. Ministry was all I knew. Growing up as a PK (Preacher’s Kid) shaped most of who I was and directed the way I acted and carried myself, but I had no clue who I really was or what I was placed on this earth to do. Aside from being lost about my true identity, I vaguely remember an incident that not only hurt my feelings but shattered my self-image at an incredibly young age. At about 8 years old, I was not befriended by a little girl whom society would possibly class as beautiful. Her long hair and lighter complexion made me feel like I was not pretty enough. Now, as I look throughout society today, I can identify so many women that are walking around with shattered images of themselves because of incidents in their past. As women, we tend to devalue ourselves and sell ourselves short when we are unaware of our self-worth and have not been taught to love ourselves. Some may argue that love for self cannot be taught, but I beg to differ. If young girls are taught to love themselves in spite of what they view as their flaws we would have a world, a church, a society filled with confident, empowered women. Growing up, I was always told that as the pastor’s daughter persons were watching me. I needed to be a good example, which meant that I had to live up to everyone’s expectations of me. However, I fell from grace, according to society’s standard, when I had two children out of wedlock by the age of 23. I was not just defined by being a PK but now I was defined by my failures.
I had let everyone down, including myself, and the stigma that PKs are the worst, seemed to now become my reality. I was not only battling self-esteem issues and failure, but I still had no clue who I was. As I look back on what I endured during that time of my life, I remember so many persons that passed judgment and spoke negatively. They never took the time to talk with me or minister to me. However, I do remember my mother fighting for me, speaking life to me and ministering to my brokenness. I remember her speaking what she wanted to see in me and not what she saw at that time, even though she was in pain herself. As persons gossiped about me, they were talked about my mom and my dad who they ultimately felt were at fault for my actions. In the midst of the turmoil though, our pain had purpose and our difficulty was driving us to destiny. Romans 8:28 states, “And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.” No matter how bleak things looked I could attest to the fact that God had a way of turning things around for our good. At the age of 30, I remember looking into the mirror and for the first time in my life loving the person looking back at me.
During this time of self-actualization, I was prompted to host a young women’s retreat for the young women of my church as a time to not only pour into them but also to listen to their hearts. This retreat proved to be helpful to many young women who look forward to this event each year. I was so overwhelmed at how God used me to impact the lives of these young women, not knowing that he was not done with me yet. Two years later, both my mother and I were given the mandate to host a conference called “Mother Me” where we shared our personal testimonies as mother and daughter to women from a wide cross-section of The Bahamas. The entire conference was based on the scripture in Titus 2:3-5, where the older women are admonished to live exemplary lives and teach the younger women how they are to live. We saw where young women were not fully living up to their potential and the older women were not taking the time to teach them. Hence the need for a “Mother Me” conference. I discovered that it was only when I found myself that I was able to really live. I know that my journey has only just begun. I intend to learn everything that I can and help as many persons as I can as I continue my trek of fulfilling my Godgiven purpose because I KNOW WHO I AM!!
A few years earlier, I had totally committed my life to the Lord; no compromise, no ‘one foot in and one foot out’ syndrome. I was all in for God. In order for me to get to the place where I loved me, I found out that I had to fall in love with God and realize that I was fearfully and wonderfully made and special to Him. I had to endure the process of detoxing my life, getting rid of all the negative in my life and embracing the positive. I had to realize that there was something great that God had for me to do and I had to make the choice to go after it.
MOTHER ME: Minister Davonia Williams and her mother, Elder Vernita Josey
