Lake Norman Woman December 2017

TO GIFT

H OW TO H AV E A

TO GIFT?

merry christmas

or not

(REALLY!) being PRESENT

Including Cary Bernstein & Toby of Spay Neuter Charlotte

love.

best PRESENT IS THE

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THE LEADING LADIES OF LAKE NORMAN CHARITIES

give.

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.

STAFF

.

L A K E

N O R M A N

from THE PUBLISHER

V O L U M E

PUBLISHER DANA NIETERS

dana@lakenormanwoman.com

EDITOR LESLIE OGLE

leslie@lakenormanwoman.com

SENIOR ACCOUNT EXECUTIVE STEPHANIE SULLIVAN

stephanie@lakenormanwoman.com

ACCOUNT EXECUTIVE MICHELE SCHUERMANN michele@lakenormanwoman.com

ACCOUNT EXECUTIVE JESSICA JONES

jessica@lakenormanwoman.com

ART DIRECTOR CHELSEA BREN

chelsea@lakenormanwoman.com

DISTRIBUTION MANAGED BY CAROLINA CONSULT, LLC

D EC E M B E R CO N T RI BU TO RS :

Dr. Stephen Giordano; Shawn Hall; Pamela Cole Harris; Michelle Love; Brad Roche; Laura VanSickle

C O N TAC T U S : PO Box 1000 | Cornelius, NC | 28031

704.895.6168

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Dear Santa,

X I

,

woman N U M B E R

V I

I know it’s been a while since I’ve written…1977 in fact. Remember? That’s the year I asked for a lava lamp and a flower-power bedspread. But then I hit my teenage years and landed myself on the naughty list, and well, a letter to you just seemed futile. Thank you, by the way, for not putting coal in my stocking.

toilet”; and “Thank you for not peeing in the front yard.” And since we’re talking about the possibility of home additions, I sure could use a secret den where I can hide and watch The Gilmore Girls and Jane the Virgin without interruption or having to explain why I like The Gilmore Girl Girls and Jane the Virgin. But first, Santa, can you teach me how to work the remote control and the DVR?

I think this year, though, I’ve been pretty darn good. I have held off on drinking until 5pm (weekends don’t count, right?) and I’m limiting my curse words to only two a day (in this case I hope trying does count). So, do you think you could find it within your heart to bring me the items below? I would ask my family, but since my gift requests this year deviate quite a bit from the bathrobe and kitchen gadgets I typically find under the tree, I thought I’d go straight to the top.

Yes, I know, I probably should not have mentioned hiding considering you are most likely aware that everyone in the house would like to hide from me when I can’t find my phone, which happens a lot!

I think my entire family might appreciate it, Santa, if you could bring me an app that when I run through the house in a Tasmanian-devilish tizzy screaming, “Where’s my freakin’ phone?” my phone will scream back, “I’m stuck between the cushions of the freakin’ couch!”

First of all, Santa, I’ve been trying to exercise and eat healthier. And since I have attempted a multitude of low-carb diets, juice cleanses, and boot camp torture sessions with little success, I thought perhaps you could bring me an exercisefree, diet-free weight loss plan. Or better yet, a wine and chocolate weight loss plan?

And while we’re on the subject of food, how about throwing in your bag an easy recipe I can cook for Christmas dinner that no one will complain about—or at the very least that is edible. But then again, I suppose there are some gifts that even you can’t pull off, dear Santa. Maybe you should just bring me a personal chef.

I hope I’m not asking for too much, Santa.

Because truth be told, there’s one thing I haven’t mentioned yet that I want more than any other. Could you please bring us the knowledge that Christmas isn’t about what’s under the tree on December 25th… and that it doesn’t have to be perfect to be joyful and wonderful? In fact, when the cat has knocked the tree over for the seventh time and once again my turkey tastes like a hockey puck, I’d be absolutely content with a Veggetti Spiral Veggie Slicer or Pac Man oven mitts if you will bring us the good sense to know how blessed we are to just be together! Merry Christmas, Santa!

The next item on my list is an outhouse.

On second thought…my home owners association might not like that. How about either an HOA with very low standards or a talking doll that looks and sounds like me to place outside my sons’ bathroom that’s programmed to say the following: “Please put the seat down”; “Did you replace the empty toilet paper roll?”; “Get back in there and flush the

Dana DANA NIETERS PUBLISHER

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DECEMBER 2017 |

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CONTENTS

33

30

LEADING LADIES OF LAKE NORMAN CHARITIES

28

Michelle Love

30

Marisa Sellman

32

Susan Andersen

33

Cary Bernstein

34

Holly Davis

36

Jennifer Shiley

14

p

A GIFT FOR THE PERSON WHO HAS EVERYTHING

in every issue 38 40

WOMEN ON T H E MOV E

5 T H I NG S TO D O I N D EC EMB ER

42

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SCENE WI T H L KNW

36 Jennifer Shiley with Art Director Chelsea Bren at our December photoshoot. See more photos like this on page 42!

12

p

28

HOLIDAY GIFTS WITH MEANING

32

34 SELF 12 Holiday Gifts With Meaning

14

What Do You Give A Friend Who Has Everything?

16

To Gift Or Not To Gift?

20

How To Pick The Right Aesthetic Medical Practice

22

Ho-Ho-Hold The Holiday Weight!

24

How To Have A (Really!) Merry Christmas

44

8 THINGS: 8 Good News Headlines

56

MIND, BODY, SPIRIT: Presence IS The Present

{

O N THE C OVER: CARY BE RNST E IN OF S PAY N EU T E R CHARLOT T E PHOTOG R APHY B Y : C H E LS EA BRE N

FAMILY 54 5 Ways To Communicate With Your Child FINANCE 46 Choosing The Right Mortgage IN THE KITCHEN 48 Chocolate Chip Coconut Cookies

DECEMBER 2017 |

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Holiday Gifts With Meaning Sometimes we just get gifts for the kids; sometimes it’s a white elephant gift exchange; and sometimes it’s just buying last-minute “whatevers” … but the holiday season is more than bows and presents. It is a time of giving, yes, but giving can come in many forms and doesn’t have to cost a lot of money. Here are a few suggestions for gifts this year that are inherently full of love and meaning—

VOLUNTEER: Whether it’s rescuing animals, working with the elderly, or simply serving at your local soup kitchen, volunteering with friends and family is a wonderful gift. Visit www.volunteermatch.org for information on volunteering for the cause that inspires you. na © Ale

Dudae

va | D

reams

time

GET PERSONAL: Put together a “favorite things” basket for Dad, or frame a special picture for Mom—if you right-click on a photo, from a Facebook page for example, you can save the photo, print, and frame. It’s a very thoughtful gesture and they won’t be expecting that particular photo. (visit www.pinterest.com for more ideas)

GIVE THE GIFT OF GIFTS: Literally give them 12 gifts (go to the dollar store and purchase 12 generic, low-cost gifts such as candles or small decorative items) along with a box of stationery so they will have gifts on-hand throughout the year. They will think of you with a warm and grateful heart each time they send a gift (and they didn’t have to shop!).

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©D

a r re n

Fishe

r|D

SAY IT WITH FOOD: Everyone can appreciate a yummy casserole or a basket of muffins.

Or prepare all ingredients for a crockpot recipe in Ziploc bags, so all they have to do is put in the pot and press “start.”

HELP THEM ORGANIZE: An amazing gift is the gift of labor and time. Help a friend or family member organize their closets or pantry; offer to clean their house or babysit; or perhaps help them with a painting party—you’ll bring the pizza!

re a m

stim

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keepers. Grouping things you wear together makes it easier to get dressed in the morning, so we broke the closet up into zones. A nice hanging section in the corner with adjacent shelves was the perfect place to hang her workout tops and fold her yoga pants. I labeled a bin “Workout Socks” (no holes allowed!) and placed it on a shelf underneath the pants.

We continued to move around the closet. A nice double-hang section became her new home for tops and skirts; a drawer divider now separated her socks from stockings.

Self

© Monkey Business Images | Dreamstime

What Do You Give a Friend Who Has

Everything?

By: Laura VanSickle

in my best friend’s closet recently, helping her pack for an upcoming trip, when it came to me. I looked around the room and saw hanging sections packed with clothes I had never seen her wear, stacks of jeans piled so high they were falling over, and her shoes … don’t even get me started on her shoes. I realized right then and there what I was going to give to her: a closet makeover!

I WA S S I T T I N G

© Martateron

With great skepticism, over how “great” this gift would be, my friend finally agreed to put a date on the calendar.

I came prepared with all the essentials for a closetcleaning party: Drawer dividers, beautiful containers that matched her ivory and mocha closet … and, of course, a bottle of our favorite wine. me

| Dreamsti

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We walked in the closet, turned on some music and got started. Step one was simple: pull all the clothes out of her closet and divide them into groups. Work clothes went on the bed; weekend clothes on the chair; gym clothes on the bathroom counter.

Then came the tough part—Runway Elimination. Some choices were easy. She pulled out a sassy red skirt and black top I’ve seen her wear with admiration. That was an immediate “Keep,” but that stretched-out sweater she was holding up with the glittery acrylic thread? Was she kidding? “I used to wear this all the time,” she protested. “Yeah, back in the 80s,” I noted.

“Toss.” We went back and forth like this for hours. Anything that was worn, dated, or made her feel fat went into the “Donate” pile.

When we were finally finished making the hard choices, it was time to find a home for our

Finally, we made it to the holy grail of vintage wear: The giant 8’ by 4’ shoe cabinet. I peeled open the double doors and set my eyes on every pair of black pumps made since the 1970s.

High heels, wedges, pointy toes, square toes, they were all there. It was like a Black Shoe museum. I eagerly reached in and started filling bags with dated shoes, worn-out heels, and faded leather. In the end, there was just a handful of beautiful black shoes just waiting to be worn, plus room for the shoes that had been piled in boxes on the floor.

She’d have easy access to them all.

By the time we left the closet, the wine bottle was almost empty and 20-plus shopping bags filled with donated items were sitting outside her door.

She smiled and gave me a hug.

“Best present ever!” she said.

“Let’s go work on my pantry!”

Laura VanSickle is co-owner with husband Eric of ClosetsByDesign in Charlotte. For more information, visit www.closetsbydesign.com or call 704.588.7272.

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Self

or

TO GIFT NOT TO GIFT?

E T I Q U E T T E F O R G I F T G I V I N G T H I S H O L I D AY S E A S O N

It wouldn’t be the holidays if it weren’t for the holiday get-togethers with family and friends that bring such holiday cheer. Generally, we know what to expect from our hostess during these occasions: a warm welcome, gracious entertainment, food and beverages. But what do they expect from us (other than our charming personalities, rapier wit, and magnetic presence)? Is a gift in order? If so, what do we bring? There are no hard and fast rules when it comes to hostess gift giving. But here are some things to consider as you navigate the hostess gift-giving dilemma.

The gift should depend on the extent of your stay.

Are you dropping into an open house? Has the host prepared a sit-down meal with many courses? Are you a houseguest for the entire weekend? The longer the stay and/or the more elaborate the set-up, the more an appreciative gift is in order.

How well do you know the hostess?

It’s always appropriate to ask if you can help the hostess with something or bring something to the event, even if the hostess is your own mother. And certainly if you are not as familiar with the hostess, or if it is your first time visiting them, a gift is appropriate.

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What do you know about your host?

Is she a serious gourmet cook, a movie buff, a regular entertainer, an avid gardener? If you take the time to customize your gift based on the lifestyle of the host, it will demonstrate how much you care about them or how much you appreciate that they included you in this special event, and they will be grateful even if it is just a small gift.

Give the gift of relaxation.

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DECEMBER 2017 |

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www.closetsbydesign.com 18 LKNw | and DECEM BER 2017 Licensed Insured

LNW

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Self

How to Pick the Right Aesthetic Medical Practice

Here at Carolina Age Management, we find that it is increasingly difficult for patients to “Google” a practice they can rely on to get safe and aesthetically pleasing treatments. The following is intended to be a guide in helping you find the right practice and physicians— By: Dr. Stephen Giordano

WHO ARE THE PLAYERS AND WHAT ARE THE GENERAL TRAINING REQUIREMENTS?

Physician - A physician is

a healthcare provider who is required to have a bachelor’s degree, usually in a field of science, before they complete years of intensive clinical training in medical school, followed by internships, residencies, and board certifications. The average time spent after college preparing to treat patients is 8-10 years.

Nurse Practitioner - Nurse

practitioners must have a bachelor’s degree in nursing as well as an RN license, followed by two years of nurse practitioner school which includes clinical training as well.

Physician Assistant - To

WHAT IS THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A MED SPA AND AN AESTHETIC MEDICAL PRACTICE?

Many times medical spas do have the appropriate supervision mandated by the medical board; however, many states have grown severely complacent in regulating the operations of “med spas.”

Medical practices are generally held to a higher standard than med spas. Protocols created by physicians, who hold a vested interest in the medical practice and are present onsite every day, provide patients with a high quality of care and safety.

Product sterility is a major factor to consider as well, and medical practices have high compliance in that area.

WHAT SHOULD I LOOK FOR IN MY PROVIDER?

Your provider should be easily accessible and very approachable. You should make sure that your provider remains up-to-date on the latest technology and procedures. We do recommend you seek providers that are board-certified; however, there needs to be more than just board certification. Board certification could have been completed 10 years prior; therefore, the simple fact that your physician holds a particular certification doesn’t mean that he/she is up-to-date on current data and training.

become a physician assistant, one must earn a bachelor’s degree and complete a physician assistant training program, which takes two years and includes clinical training.

Nurse - Nurses are required to complete a two-year training program to get their LPN or a four-year program to get their bachelor’s in nursing.

Esthetician - Estheticians are

required to complete a six-month training program comprised of didactic and clinical experience and pass a state board to be licensed.

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In summary, excellent providers come in many forms. You want a reliable, stable, compassionate, and skilled provider with experience.

RED FLAGS?

If your provider has moved around from practice to practice every year or two, then this should be a big red flag. You want a provider that is stable and can be a part of a team so that you have continuity of care. If your provider is unwilling to discuss treatments other than those offered at his/her practice, this should also be a red flag.

Providers should always do what’s best for their patients and not their wallets. A good provider will be willing to wait for you to weigh your options and be patient until you make the best decision for yourself.

Dr. Stephen Giordano is an osteopathic physician at Carolina Age Management Institute located at 8712 Lindholm Drive, #302, in Huntersville. You may contact them at 704.997.6530 or visit their website at www.carolinaagemanagement.com.

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health

ho-ho-hold

THE HOLIDAY WEIGHT! With the holidays, we have to get everything in check—including our weight! While our homes are decorated with tinsel and lights, our tables are ornamented with pies and cakes. We all know what we’re supposed to do, but here are some reminders so your weight doesn’t take a backseat—and your backseat doesn’t take on the pounds!

I T ’ S T H AT T I M E O F Y E A R A G A I N .

DROP AND GIVE ME 50

Try not to skip your regular exercise and, in fact, take it up a notch to combat all the extra calories. A brisk walk around the block will help relieve stress, too, especially if all that family is trying your patience!

BE MINDFUL OF SPIRITS

It’s easy to indulge in festive alcoholic drinks during all the celebrating, but be wary of these “evil” spirits. Not only does the alcohol add calories, but often the mixers and ingredients carry loads of sugars!

EAT SMALL

Portion control is key. Use a small plate, choose wisely, and eat slowly. Also, don’t starve yourself, thinking you’re saving calories for the “good stuff.”This actually accomplishes the opposite, causing overeating.

D reamst ime.com

| DECEMBER 2017

For more healthy advice, visit the President’s Council on Fitness, Sports & Nutrition at www.fitness.gov or Health Magazine at www.health.com.

B erger |

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Weigh yourself twice a day instead of once. It may be painful, but it will help you face your realities and perhaps keep you from that extra piece of cake.

AND IF ALL ELSE FAILS— WEIGH IN

© Andi

HYDRATE, HYDRATE, HYDRATE

No matter how you look at it, water is nothing but positive. Not only will it help you feel full, but it’s necessary to combat all the high-sodium foods indicative of a holiday feast.

If you are going to an event, take a healthy dish with you. If you are hosting an event, send your guests home with leftovers. You can even purchase colored cellophane wrap so a leftover plate of cookies turns into a thoughtful gift.

TAKE IT OR SEND IT

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how to have a !)

Y L L (REA merry christmas for too many of us, the holiday season just doesn’t live up to our expectations. Instead of joy, it brings stress; instead of peace, it brings tension; instead of love, it brings animosity. This holiday, let’s do something different.

Let’s allow ourselves and our family to enjoy the season! Here’s how to begin: EACH YEAR,

1 Don’t make yourself crazy this year! If the house isn’t perfect, who cares? Friends and family come for the memories and the companionship, not to count the dust bunnies. And if you have dust bunnies, just paint them red and green and pretend they are part of the décor! Next year, when they remember the holidays, they won’t remember the books out of place or the stain on the rug; they will remember how relaxed they felt in your home.

2

Don’t force togetherness! Family members love you dearly, but they find mandatory togetherness an ordeal. Let them spend the holiday in ways that

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make them happy, not in ways you have determined they should. Leave them free to join the gathering, but don’t guilt them into it. Trust me, they will love you for a non-obligatory invitation!

3 Remember that the holiday is about joy, not a grim march to buy “stuff.” Nobody wants you to put yourself in debt to give them something they may not even remember by next Christmas. While a gift of sacrifice of the heart given with love is what the season is all about, all too often we give gifts of sacrifice of the pocketbook in lieu of love.

4 If you have always made the holiday meal, give it up this year. Have a potluck with everyone contributing. It will give you more time to enjoy the company, and it will give your family and friends a chance to show off their culinary expertise. (And you might find a new favorite holiday dish!)

5 Give your family what they really want for Christmas—your attention, love, and praise! They may not remember that tie you spent hours picking out for them, but they will remember the moments you spent telling them how proud you are of the person they have become. They may not use the bubble bath, but they could use your forgiveness and understanding.

They may not be warmed by sweaters or afghans, but they will be warmed by your love and care.

This year, as families gather together for the holiday season, remember that what will endure from this year’s celebrations are the gifts of memories, connections, time, praise, and love. And these things you can’t buy, can’t polish, can’t bake, and can’t mandate. So let’s do something different for the holidays this year—let’s just enjoy! And who knows, it might be the best holiday ever!

Pamela Cole Harris is an editor and writer with 35 years of experience. Visit her website, www.homeandgardenmakeover.com, for a free newsletter with remodeling, home improvement and decorating ideas.

By: Pamela Cole Harris

DECEMBER 2017 |

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ladies leading

charities

at the helm

of lake norman

The Lake Norman community may have a small-town feel, but there is no doubt that the heart and spirit of the community is as big as the starry sky above. We give to the causes near and dear to us in all kinds of ways, from donating money, to volunteering, to participating in awareness events and more. But for the six ladies featured in this special issue, giving back is a way of life. They have devoted themselves to helping those who are suffering and work every day to change those lives for the better. In doing so, they spread help and hope and purpose throughout our community—and beyond.

PHOTOGRAPHY BY: CHELSEA BREN

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LOC ATION: C OWANS FORD C OUNTRY CLUB

DECEMBER 2017 |

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michelle

LOVE

The Stand Firm Warrior Foundation P RE S ID E N T

a

mother’s love and protective nature are fierce—and when you have to survive the loss of a child, that fierceness turns to passion and you become a warrior! Michelle Love, president of The Stand Firm Warrior Foundation, is that warrior … and so was her son, BJ. “I created the charity on September 6, 2016, exactly six months after my 15-year-old son died,” Michelle explains. “He battled Acute Lymphoblastic Leukemia (ALL) from age 11, just after starting the 6th grade. ALL happens to be the most curable type of childhood leukemia, but that certainly doesn’t mean that it’s an easy treatment because it’s decidedly not.”

Watching her son’s inner warrior come out during his illness continues to inspire Michelle and her family. For it is BJ’s fortitude of character and strong faith in God that became the impetus for Michelle’s tenacity in pursuing her cause.

BJ endured round after round of treatment with all the ups and downs one would expect from leukemia, and it left BJ in terrible physical shape.

On December 9, 2015, after five weeks at Duke for a clinical trial that was unsuccessful, BJ was transported by ambulance back to Levine Children’s Hospital in Charlotte, and the family was presented with news that no parent ever wants to hear. The doctors determined that there was nothing else to do for BJ—the most curable type of childhood leukemia wasn’t. After expressing interest in becoming a Navy SEAL, BJ was visited by a group of former Navy SEALs on December 10, and they awarded him Honorary Navy SEAL by SEAL Team 8. In him, they saw qualities of a SEAL and stood behind him as a brother. Toward the end of BJ’s 90-consecutive-

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day hospital stay, Michelle felt a strong “nudging” to look into natural treatments.

“You know you need to follow something,” she says, “when the same thing comes at you from several different and unrelated directions.” Just as Michelle was pondering alternative treatments, BJ’s oncologist came to them once again, reiterating that the leukemia was taking over his organs. There was nothing else to do for him.

Desperate to find the good they were promised from this tragedy, Michelle knew she wanted to help other children not have to endure what her son did.

In a dream one night, Michelle received a message: “Someone asked me about the mission of our foundation,” she recalls. “I very clearly told them that we were raising funds to support research focused on finding an alternative treatment to chemotherapy. I woke up, saw it was 2:00 a.m., and in awe, I repeated what I said in my dream. The next morning, I remembered it all and wrote it down. After months of contemplating, we had our mission … given to me in a dream no less.”

Michelle says her charity’s name came from Ephesians 6: 10-18, the Armor of God verses. She would read that scripture aloud to BJ every morning during the final weeks of his life. “I could feel the spiritual warfare going on around me,” she confides.

“I felt that we needed to arm ourselves spiritually so that we could continue to have the strength to fight, and to keep our faith and hope alive. And so, The Stand Firm Warrior Foundation was born. It all went so smoothly and quickly that I knew God was directing it all … and BJ—standing as a strong warrior right by His side.”

By: Leslie Ogle

DECEMBER 2017 |

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marisa SELLMAN The Marketplace,

a

F O UN DER & DIREC T OR

native of Orange Park, Florida, Marisa Sellman is the founder and director of The Marketplace, a non-profit organization that empowers people in impoverished countries all around the world with employment by selling their handmade products. Growing up in a military family, Marisa is no stranger to culture and travel. Just over a year into her charity, Marisa took a trip around the world. She traveled to Kenya, India, Thailand, and Cambodia. “I knew I wanted to do this full-time while I was in Phnom Penh, Cambodia,” confides Marisa. Upon arriving back home, she resigned from her 11-year position as the director of finance at Grace Covenant Church, and hasn’t looked back.

Born in 2012, The Marketplace is now into its fifth year and prides itself on being sustainable and debt free. Marisa stresses, “I wanted to use my business skills to help others around the world, and at the same time I wanted to give them the opportunity to learn who Jesus is.” She travels across the globe demonstrating the love of Jesus while transforming the lives of people living in some of the worst economic conditions on Earth. “We go into an area, visit with the people there, listen to their stories, and admire their crafts. We are able to connect the artisans with our customers who know they are changing a life with their purchases,” remarks Marisa.

Her passion for this work is ignited when she hears women tell her how The Marketplace has changed their lives. “I have visited with women in Bolivia,” she explains, “where many said their children wouldn’t be able to eat if it weren’t for the program.” It is these stories that motivate Marisa to keep going.

“I’ll never forget the image I saw in Quito, Ecuador, where we were working with Dunamis, a ministry that rescues young girls aged 9-14 from trafficking. I met a 14-year-old girl who had a 1-year-old son. Her father was the father of her son,” Marisa recalls. Weeping that night, she prayed, pleading for God to show her what she was supposed to do. “’Tell her story’ was the simple answer,” Marisa says. Sharing her story on social media started a wildfire response of public generosity that has helped the Dunamis ministry get closer to building a home for the young girls.

Starting out with two ministry partnerships, The Marketplace now partners with 80 churches and ministries in 26 countries, has a storefront in Cornelius, and recently acquired a mobile fashion truck called The Rolling Shack. Marisa admits, “I’m most proud of the milestone we just passed—$1 million in sales!” Many people told her this concept would not work and suggested that she would never find enough artisan groups, nor people to support it. “God was in this from the beginning,” Marisa smiles. “He gave me this vision, and we have honored Him and given Him the glory.”

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By: Michelle Love

DECEMBER 2017 |

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susan

ANDERSEN ANSWER Scholarship

F O UN DER & EX EC UTIVE DIR EC TO R

t

he wonder, hope, and happiness that children exude is infectious. And thank heaven for that because the hope that many moms have of fulfilling their own dreams of earning a college degree can often be in short supply.

Higher education is an extraordinary expense under the best circumstances.

Add the expenses and time constraints of running a household and the needs of young children, and it’s easy to see why mothers often postpone or suspend their educational pursuits to address the needs of their children first. As time goes by, it can become increasingly difficult to find a way to jump into the academic world or complete her studies.

“Going back to college as an adult, raising children, working either full-time or part-time, with or without a husband or partner is challenging to say the least,” asserts Susan Andersen, the founder of ANSWER, an organization that awards college scholarships to moms residing in the Carolinas.

Susan knows firsthand how it feels to worry about having enough money to pay for school. When she was a senior at Myers Park High School in Charlotte, her parents divorced, and her life-long dream of attending college seemed hopeless— there simply was no money. But then a local women’s organization granted her a four-year partial scholarship, and her dream was suddenly within reach. “I was very grateful, and I never forgot their generosity.

I made a vow as a young college graduate

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that I would one day pay it forward to help someone else.”

And help she has. ANSWER awarded college scholarships to 13 extraordinary moms for the 2016-17 school year. As of December 2016, 31 ANSWER moms will have earned their college degrees.

More than a third have gone on to seek master’s degrees. “We are proud that our combination of college scholarships, mentoring, and professional skills development leads to success,” says Susan.

ANSWER recipients have an impressive graduation rate of 87 percent—in large part because the program doesn’t just provide scholarships. Susan has also developed a Mentors for Mom component that provides the much-needed support, counseling, and mentoring many moms need to help them navigate the challenges of balancing family, school, and work.

Through ANSWER, Susan has witnessed how an education can transform women’s lives, their families, and even entire communities. Take Carrie, for instance.

With ANSWER’s help, Carrie graduated from UNC-Charlotte in 2012 and continued her education by earning a law degree. Today she practices family law in Rowan, Cabarrus, and Iredell Counties, and both of her daughters are college students themselves. Susan’s goal is to award scholarships to 50 women such as Carrie each year by 2028. After all, mothers give so much to their children and their families—ANSWER simply strives to give them something in return: the gift of hope.

By: Dana Nieters

cary

BERNSTEIN

Spay Neuter Charlotte EXECUTIVE DIRECT O R

I

t was the fierce passion of animals that led Cary Bernstein, Charlotte native and executive director of Spay Neuter Charlotte, to the creation of her non-profit. “I was serving on the board of a local animal welfare organization,” she says, “where I became aware and was horrified by the fact that thousands of healthy, but homeless, dogs and cats were being euthanized in our community each year.” Realizing that the problem could literally be "fixed" by offering more opportunities for affordable spay and neuter services, Cary began her adventure.

After receiving a ringing endorsement from the director of Humane Alliance in Asheville, the first challenge was to raise $35,000. Reaching that goal, she proved to PetSmart Charities that she deserved a $70,000 start-up grant for equipment. In August 2011, her dream was realized and the first clinic was opened in Charlotte. Spay Neuter Charlotte is now in its sixth year, with three clinics and 47 employees. In May, with a redesigned business model, the clinic opened a non-profit, full-service veterinary practice that provides much-needed affordable pet care for lower income families. Cary is quick to state that the charity’s success is the result of a team effort, enabled by their medical director, Elizabeth Welch.

Also instrumental in Cary’s success, she readily acknowledges that her husband, Alan, has backed her vision from the start. Married for over 27 years, Cary describes that she and her soulmate are perfect partners. “I supported his desire to leave a family business and attend law school when our kids were very young,” she says, “and his support has enabled me to pursue the dream of Spay Neuter Charlotte. The one thing I know for sure in this life is that my husband loves me,” she smiles. Cary also emphasizes that success is all about attitude – “Be grateful, think outside of the box, be open to change, and make sure the juice is worth the squeeze.”

Cary finds everyday inspiration in her clients as well—folks who have often sacrificed something personal in order to provide care for their pets.

“There is a huge need for our services in the area, and we are grateful that the community supports our work,” she continues. “People can support us by making a financial contribution which underwrites the cost of providing services for a dog or cat for those who can’t afford to do so.”

Coming from a large family of six children, Cary is a people person AND a pet person! “I love what I do every day and genuinely care for all of the people who are on the staff at the clinics,” she states. Her clients are very grateful for the love she pours into the clinic and how she loves their fuzzy family members. Cary indeed has a thankful heart for the opportunity to provide for the animals that she so passionately adores—and to make a difference in the euthanization rates in the community.

By: Michelle Love

DECEMBER 2017 |

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holly DAVIS Holly’z Hope

F O UN D E R A N D C E O

t

he kindness of strangers can change your world—a favorite quote of Holly Davis, founder and CEO of Holly’z Hope, she finds strength in these words every day as she pursues her mission: “To change the world of abused and neglected dogs one dog at a time through small acts of kindness, education and by changing the laws that do not protect them. We do so without judgment of the owners or their situation, and with an open heart and mind!”

Holly founded the charity in October of 2015, initially just building doghouses in Cornelius for owners who did not have shelter for their pets. Within four months, they began building fences and working on changing the tethering laws. Completing their first fence in February of 2016 with only 20 volunteers, they now have over 600 volunteers and have built more than 40 fences, freeing nearly 60 dogs. They have also provided spay/neuter and wellness vet care to nearly 100 dogs and were able to get the laws changed in both Huntersville and Cornelius.

“We build at least twice a month,” Holly explains, “with other dog advocacy work being done in between.

We work closely with local law enforcement and have the support of local businesses like Lake Norman Chrysler Dodge Jeep Ram. The demand for our support grows every day from as far away as Iron Station and Statesville, and our organization has also proven to be a wonderful place for junior volunteers (ages 9-17) to give back in a safe, fun environment.”

From building doghouses in 20-degree weather to speaking in front of city council members, Holly has remained steadfast in her efforts, albeit not without obstacles. Despite the difficult nature of rescuing pups and getting laws changed, Holly is forever grateful to her many friends, family, and volunteers who make this all possible.

“I am so thankful,” Holly says, “for all the dedicated volunteers who have given their valuable time to my vision and cause. They inspire all of us to follow our hearts and do what most people would never do— sacrifice valuable family time to work in undesirable conditions in order to give a dog and their humans a chance at a better life.”

Holly has much to be proud of but her finest moment with the charity, she says, was when the city councils of both Huntersville and Cornelius passed no tethering ordinances. She was, in her words, just an ordinary citizen who spoke up and worked with local government agencies to implement much-needed changes. “My hope was that I too would inspire others to make a difference in this world,” she smiles. “It only takes one person with a dream and a vision … and the ability to never accept no as an answer!”

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By: Leslie Ogle

PRESENTING SPONSORS

SUPPORTING SPONSOR

MEDIA SPONSOR

Bring your friends and family together to celebrate the beauty of the Holiday season! The Garden glows with holiday spirit from the twinkling trees to the sparkling fountains and is transformed into a natural winter wonderland filled with unique festive dĂŠcor including a towering tree of orchids, more than 600,000 lights, and illuminated displays.

Purchase Tickets in Advance at www.DSBG.org 6500 South New Hope Road Belmont, NC 28012 704-825-4490

DECEMBER 2017 |

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"I

t gets better, I promise. You’re loved. You’re going to get past this, and you’re going to be ok.” Oh, the rivers of tears that never would have flowed had someone reassured me with those words when I was 15. Fortunately for high school girls in the Lake Norman area, that’s the message that Jennifer Shiley and her organization, Young Elites, seek to relay to each of its participants.

Jennifer herself could have used this support when she was a teenager. “I was a different kid before being different was cool,” she grins. “Every day, I was picked on, pushed around, and abused by peers.”

It was this experience, as well as her later experience as a teacher, that led Jennifer to co-found Young Elites: “Knowing the same things from my student days were still going on to kids in my teacher days sparked the motivation to make a new model for young people—to learn how to find their strengths, to team up with others rather than against them, and repeat that positivity by pulling up the next young person in line.”

What girls needed, Jennifer determined, was not only encouragement from mentors and peers, but the tools to convert those positive thoughts into action. Consequently, she designed programs to develop and enhance critical thinking skills, emotional intelligence, fitness and wellness, goal-setting, commitment to service, and teamwork.

Led by local successful business executives, government leaders, coaches, and athletes, the program started in 2012 with a one-week summer experience

for 30 participants. Since that first pilot summit, more than 100 girls from the Carolinas as well as Georgia, Nevada, and New Jersey attend each year. And today, in addition to the summer program, Young Elites has an ambassador program that is active throughout the school year.

To see how Young Elites makes such a positive difference in its participants’ lives makes Jennifer proud. “More than one girl’s life has been saved as a result from someone she met or something someone said,” she explains. “Girls have gained access to tools that have gotten them into college. They stand up for each other and lead younger girls to do the same. Business owners and community leaders now send a strong message that the community is behind them. Young women leave high school with confidence in themselves and their abilities to navigate the next steps.”

Jennifer’s family is also a source of great pride for her and her partner, Kim. Jennifer adopted her nephew, Taylor, when her sister passed away four years ago. And today, with Taylor a middle schooler and three-year-old Jordan, who Jennifer describes as their “wild, amazing little man,” life can be crazy at times.

Still, both Jennifer and Kim relish the laughter, silliness, and love they share at home every day.

In some ways, Jennifer views the young women who come through Young Elites as part of her family, too. “After all,” she notes, “they’re depending on us as grownups to make it possible for them to achieve their plans, goals, and dreams.”

jennifer SHILEY Young Elites

FOUNDER, PRESIDENT, & CEO

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By: Dana Nieters

DECEMBER 2017 |

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women on the move JORDAN FELDMAN, a junior

world, grow stronger.

at Lake Norman High School, has created a website, www. lakenormanvolunteers.com, to help connect those in need to students in the Lake Norman community searching for ways to volunteer.

Jordan’s goal is to mobilize a committed group of students in helping their community, and their

ROBIN SMITH SALZMAN,

owner and marketing director of Lake Norman Chrysler Dodge Jeep RAM in Cornelius, recently accepted the Citizen’s Choice award “Best Place to Work” on behalf of her team. Lake Norman Citizen rep Marlah Ebert (second from left) presenting the award to Robin and Jack Salzman.

DR. CHELY SANCHEZ,

general dentist, recently joined Lake Norman Dentistry’s growing practice at 224 Talbert Road in Mooresville. She looks forward to providing comprehensive dental wellness to the large Hispanic population in their language.

TESA JONES of Mooresville

recently celebrated the launch of her second novel, Reflection of Memories. This heart-felt story merges social issues, cultural changes, and American history with well-defined characters and a love story that will capture your heart and remind you what is truly important life.

CONNECT WITH US! Whether you are a woman on the move, looking for events, new businesses in the area, or are willing to contribute your opinion, follow us by visiting www.facebook.com/lakenormanwoman or e-mail leslie@lakenormanwoman.com.

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DECEMBER 2017 |

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calendar

1

5 THINGS AN LKN

Thursday - Saturday, NOV. 30DEC. 2

CHRISTMAS IN DAVIDSON 6-9pm Downtown Davidson

Take a ride on the trolley, stroll down beautiful Main Street, start your holiday shopping, take a journey through the Holiday Village, and enjoy a wide variety of entertainment on the Library Stage. And take the little ones for a visit with Santa and story time with Mrs. Claus!

3 Sunday, DEC. 3

CHRISTMAS IN CORNELIUS

Noon-6pm Oak Street Mill, 19725 Oak St, Cornelius

Enjoy a fun-filled afternoon of live bands, Christmas carols and choirs, food trucks, craft breweries, holiday kids’ activities, shopping, and a visit from Santa.

Various dates through DEC. 22

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OMAN SHOULD DO IN DECEMBER

2

DEC. 8 & 9

5

NOV. 30DEC. 2

10TH ANNUAL COMMUNITY NATIVITY FESTIVAL

Times Vary The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, 7036 McIlwaine Rd., Huntersville

This family-friendly, free community event features nativity displays from around the world, a stable with nativity costumes for dressing up, children’s crafts, a scavenger hunt, and musical performances by area schools and church groups.

4 Friday & Saturday,

ThursdaySunday,

WALK THROUGH BETHLEHEM Times Vary Camp Wesley, 3090 Deal Rd., Mooresville

Go back in time to the first Christmas and pay your taxes for the census, meet the Bethlehem merchants, hear the news about the Romans, visit the shepherds in the field, see baby Jesus in the manger at this free, interactive, Biblical-era drama and marketplace with activities, food, and music.

POLAR EXPRESS TRAIN RIDE

Times Vary N.C. Transportation Museum, 411 S. Salisbury Ave., Spencer, NC

Inspired by the run-away hit movie, this holiday favorite comes to life as you and your family take a ride on The Polar Express. Families are invited to wear their pajamas for the ride and participate in the caroling and merriment of this Christmas celebration.

DECEMBER 2017 |

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““ Scene

WITH

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LKNW’s Stephanie and her family at the Carolina Renaissance Festival in Huntersville

BE SCENE

LAKE NORMAN WOMAN is getting out and about each month, looking for great events and the fabulous and exciting Lake Norman people who are making them happen! So next time you’re at a chamber event, a new business in the area, or just out having fun, look for Lake Norman Woman and our camera. Who knows, you just might find yourself in next

LKNW’s Jessica with Jaime Benson, owner of Wine & Design in Huntersville, at the ribbon cutting in October LKNW’s Chelsea and Stephanie enjoying a photoshoot in August

month’s “SCENE WITH LAKE NORMAN WOMAN!”

View more Scene photos & more at our Facebook page: Facebook.com/ LakeNormanWoman

Flyleaf Counseling, Davidson, ribbon cutting event in October

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LKNW’s Jessica and her family at the Chinese Lantern Festival at Daniel Stowe Botanical Gardens

DECEMBER 2017 |

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8 THINGS

8 interesting milestones, events, scoops, trifles, or just cool stuff.

Man Receives World’s First 3D Printed Tibia Replacement—Saves Leg

Success Rates for Smoking Cessation on the Rise

OUT RD AB A E H HAVE

THESE

…

s e n i l d a e H s w e N d o o 8G T AY NO YOU M

LAKE

Progress on Gender Representation in Politics: Women Now Occupy 23 Percent of Parliamentary Seats Around the World

NO

WOMA RMAN

N

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DECEM

017 BER 2

Transparent Cells Can Turn Any Glass Surface Into Solar Panel

Organ Donors and Lifesaving Transplants Reach All-Time High Good News for Environment: Global Emissions of Carbon Dioxide Remain Static

Child Labor Rates Cut

by Half: Millions More Enjoy Childhood 44 LKN

.

Tide Turns Against Wasteful Plastic Bag Use: Some 40 Countries Have Now Banned, Partly Banned, or Taxed Plastic Bags

DECEMBER 2017 |

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$ $

FINANCE

$

$

$

Choosing the Right Mortgage

By: Brad Roche

Many people have the misconception that you need 20% down to purchase a home, as well as perfect credit in order to obtain the lowest interest rate and lower their closing costs. However, many factors play into selecting the right mortgage. Here are a few things to consider when purchasing or refinancing: 1 Ask yourself questions such as: How long do I plan to keep this mortgage or live in the home? What is the monthly payment I am comfortable with? How much do I want to put down vs. what I think is needed?

2 Experience – this is a big deal. Each loan comes with some possible hurdles. The more challenging situations your loan officer has seen and overcome, the better prepared they will be to move past the obstacle(s).

3

Do your homework. Read past client reviews on the loan officer you are considering.

4 The loan officer should ask you the mortgage questions listed above, not just quote a rate. Tons of dollars in mortgage interest (not to mention closing costs) can be saved when you get specific on strategy; and let’s face it, it is a lot of money!

When these few, simple questions and issues are clarified from the start, you narrow down and streamline the process in selecting a home loan which puts you in a better position to compare the benefits from specific products, terms, and options for minimizing closing costs. Here are some options based on goals and time frames: NO COST LOAN

This is a loan with zero closing costs, but understand that it’s not exactly free. If you plan to keep a home loan for three years or so, why pay closing costs of $3,000 on average? Nothing is free – the way this works is the lender can increase your interest rate by approximately .25% and credit you all the cost, making it a no cost loan.

However, you are paying a slightly higher interest rate, which as an example may increase your payment by $50 per month.

PAYING POINTS

Sometimes, believe it or not, it makes sense to pay more! Crazy, right? Not really… if you plan to retire or stay in a home long term (10+ years), many times it makes sense to pay what is called “Points,” which is a fee charged by the lender to lower the long-term interest rate. As an example, you can get an interest rate of 4% with no points or you can get an interest rate of 3.75% with 1 point (1 point being equal to 1% of your loan amount, thus, $100,000 loan would be $1,000 in points).

PRIVATE MORTGAGE INSURANCE (PMI)

You don’t have to put 20% down to get a home and, frankly, when you can borrow at interest rates below 5%, why would you? Many other investment options are available where the potential to earn a return on your money is better than 5%. But with less money down comes the added cost of PMI. This is a monthly fee you pay for mortgage insurance that is added to your payment when you put less than 20% down. However, you have several options to pay PMI—monthly, semimonthly with a small fee upfront, or lender paid where you pay nothing monthly and the lender pays it for you.

Again, each option should be based on how long you plan to live in the home and keep the mortgage.

Brad Roche, mortgage planner and regional manager for Element Funding (NMLS# 135191), has been helping clients with homeownership for more than 20 years. He has extensive experience in mortgage lending, real estate negotiations, construction, developments, investment properties, cash management, and budgeting. Element Funding (a Division of Primary Residential Mortgage, Inc.) is located at 200 North Harbor Place, Suite E, in Davidson. They can be reached at 704.728.0191.

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Chocolate Chip Coconut Cookies Jingle your way through the holidays with this simple and delicious recipe. This is as easy as it gets … just four ingredients—chocolate chips, coconut, almonds, and sweetened condensed milk and you’re good to go!

INGREDIENTS

1 14 oz bag sweetened coconut flakes 2 cups semi-sweet chocolate chips ⅔ cup chopped almonds 1 14 oz can sweetened condensed milk

4

ONLY

INGREDIENTS!

DIRECTIONS

1. Preheat oven to 325F. 2. Line a large baking sheet with parchment paper (Note: Parchment paper is recommended; wax paper and other like items will yield different results).

3. Combine coconut, chocolate chips, almonds, and sweetened condensed milk.

4. Scoop out dough (large, heaping tablespoon) onto prepared baking sheet and flatten just a bit with your thumb.

5. Bake cookies for 12 to 14 minutes or until tips of coconut are just starting to brown.

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happy

HOLIDAYS FROM OUR FAMILY TO YOURS

Wishing you all the hope, joy, and wonder that the Christmas season can bring!

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Monthly Love - We promote our healthy skin packages because we have realized over the years that if our patients do basic measures routinely to protect their skin, they age gracefully. Some of the most popular basic

procedures that you should alternate on a monthly basis include microdermabrasion with our signature HydrafacialMD system, chemical peels, dermaplaning and microneedling. All of these have minimal to no down time and will stimulate collagen production to dramatically reduce fine lines, wrinkles, and pore size.

Yearly Love - Save those bigger procedures to be done once per year. Generally these are more aggressive procedures that do have some down time involved such as thermitight skin tightening, erbium deep laser peels, vampire facelifts, radiofrequency microneedling, dermal filler liquid facelifts, and IPL treatments. Some of these do require more than one treatment that can be done in a series over the course of 2 to 3 months. Fortunately, the results of all of these annual treatments should last for a year or more, and sometimes up to five years.

CELEBRATE. A NEW YOU. Sometimes achieving your skin goals requires a lot of discipline, dedication, motivation as well as financial commitment. We understand how difficult it can be to maintain healthy skin, and this is why we have set up packages to help our patients stay on track. Proudly, we also offer in-house financing with no interest to help people reach their goals. We customize treatment plans and procedures for each individual patient taking into consideration their financial abilities, physical abilities, mental abilities, and motivation. The skin truly is a manifestation of one’s spiritual, emotional, and physical state of being. As such, each person needs a full and thorough evaluation to determine what is best for them. At the end of it all, we find when a person does reach their personal skin goals, they find themselves feeling like a new person inside and out. This is a celebration we are proud to participate in daily at our practice.

GIVE. TO EACH OTHER. December is a time when we try to remember to give to one another to show how much we care. At CAMI, we would like to help you celebrate the gift of giving with your friends and loved ones. During the month of December, buy any single laser resurfacing procedure or IPL Photofacial, and get one to give to a friend for free!

WWW.CAROLINAAGEMANAGEMENT.COM

Happy Holidays from all of us at Carolina Age Management Institute!

Dr. Stephen Giordano

704.997.6530 8712 Lindholm Drive, Suite 302 Huntersville, NC 28078

WISHING YOU A HAPPY EVERYTHING, AND A MERRY ALWAYS, FROM OUR NEST TO YOURS.

Amy Fraser, Managing Broker

704.842.1500

amy.fraser@nestrealty.com

Amelia Hinson, Broker

704.918.3047

amelia.hinson@nestrealty.com

LIVE WHERE YOU LOVE 21325 Catawba Ave | Cornelius, NC 28031 | NestRealty.com/LKN

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5 ways to

COMMUNICATE

family

with your child

Like any relationship, the one between parent and child must be cultivated and nurtured. From the moment they are born, you write on the slate of who they will become. Proper communication, trust, and respect are key, and the relationship you build with your child will determine the success of how he or she interacts with others as adults. With that in mind, here are some tips on fostering good communication skills between parent and child: BE PRESENT. This means you must stop what you are doing and really hear your child. Try not to criticize or question their point of view but simply engage in questions and conversation so they feel that you are there for them—not to parent but to support.

SCHEDULE TIME. Set some time aside each week to converse with your child.

Perhaps schedule a parent-child date night so that you can have some one-on-one time.

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SOFTEN YOUR REPLIES. It is almost human nature to disagree with your child’s thought process occasionally, but kids will tune you out if you respond with criticism or negativity.

For more information on building a strong parent/child relationship, visit www.psychologytoday.com.

© Alen Dobric | Dreamstime.com

RESPECT YOUR CHILD. Express interest in what they are saying without being intrusive, and let them complete their train of thought before you reply.

Focus on your child’s feelings rather than your own.

DON’T BE A RIGHT FIGHTER. You can agree to disagree and let them know you value their opinions. Having open, intelligent debates fosters mutual respect and arms them with valuable skills for the adult world.

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MIND body spirit BETTER ME

…

BETTER YOU

…

BETTER WORLD

Presence IS The Present By: Shawn Hall

everyone is named Kim EXCEPT me. I’ve thought about changing my name but then that would be weird! However, these women have taught me the value of time and how precious it truly is.

I AM IN A SISTERHOOD OF KIMS;

Kim G. is the Kim I have known the longest. I met her my first week in college when, sadly, her dormitory caught fire … and we’ve been friends ever since. Years later, Kim G. experienced another life-altering situation when her second daughter was born with a birth injury that does not allow her the full use of her arm. But, Kim gave her daughter every opportunity to do what other children do; it may take her longer, but patience and fortitude win!

Kim L. is also a buddy from college. The absence of her presence became a present to me when she was unable to go on an international trip, allowing me to go in her stead.

That trip changed my life forever. Three years ago, we almost lost her to an unknown bleeding disorder. In those dark days, she shared how much she still had left to do for herself and her family. She realized how uncertain our

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time is here and she left a very lucrative position to take one that allows her to spend more time with her girls and husband.

Then there is Kim J. She and I share so much in common; both of us are business owners, public speakers, and have a passion to help others. Our children have grown up with each other—her four boys and a girl and my four girls. On April 9, 2015, she called and told me that her 12-year-old son had died from sudden cardiac arrest. She and her husband started Gabe’s Heart Foundation (gabesheart.org) to honor his legacy with bullying awareness and random acts of kindness. His heart still beats in the kind acts of others and through the love a mother has for her son.

The Kims in my life mean the world to me. Who means the most to you? Are you giving them the present of your presence?

After all, time is the one thing we all have the exact same amount of, we just all use it differently. Yet most of us are missing out on the small moments with those we care about most because we are so busy being busy! I challenge you to take some time this holiday season to send out handwritten notes, make phone calls (not texts), and to put the phone down when people are talking to you. After all, no one asks to make one last text, one last Facebook post, or make one more dollar when they are sick or transitioning from this earth. The one thing they do ask for, wish for, and pray for, though? T-I-M-E. Your presence IS the present! Be present OFTEN! Shawn Hall resides in Mooresville and is a former education specialist with the US Dept. of Education. She is also the founder of All Roads Education, a boutique college admissions and scholarship consulting firm. For more information, visit allroadseducation.com.

©Andybor | Dreamstime.com

THE MIND, BODY, AND SPIRIT ARE INTIMATELY CONNECTED. Because unhealthy thoughts and emotions can create a vicious cycle that leads to unhealthy physical patterns, we can choose a victorious path that includes a positive, healing, uplifting spiral. By mixing the ingredients of attitude and action, we can change the flavor of our own lives. Learn to nurture your body and soul to lead a more balanced life.

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