April 2017 Lake Norman Woman Magazine by Lake Norman Woman Magazine

moving! GET

featuring SHELLY QUINN OF GEORGIA BANKING COMPANY

GO ON AN UNCONVENTIONAL SPRING BREAK

love SHOES?

WHY DO WOMEN

$100

WHEN YOU CALL BEFORE 4/30/17

Huntersville, NC 704-896-3931

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NAME YOUTRUSTED TRUST TRUCKS & SUVs

L I N C O L N

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Buick - GMC I-77 Exit 23 704-659-7010

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Chevrolet I-40 Exit 151 704-873-9094 Ford - Lincoln I-77 Exit 49-B 704-873-3673

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STAFF

PUBLISHER DANA NIETERS

dana@lakenormanwoman.com

EDITOR AMY HALLMAN

April

volume x, number x

get moving

amy@lakenormanwoman.com I HEAR A VOICE INSIDE MY HEAD.

OPERATIONS SUPPORT & CONTRIBUTING WRITER LESLIE OGLE leslie@lakenormanwoman.com

SENIOR ACCOUNT EXECUTIVE STEPHANIE SULLIVAN

stephanie@lakenormanwoman.com

ACCOUNT EXECUTIVE MICHELE SCHUERMANN michele@lakenormanwoman.com

ACCOUNT EXECUTIVE JESSICA JONES

jessica@lakenormanwoman.com

ART DIRECTOR CHELSEA BREN

chelsea@lakenormanwoman.com

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Admittedly, when she first started talking to me, I liked her. She was a bit talkative for my tastes, but it was somewhat reassuring to have her around, kind of like always having a friend close by, especially when I found myself in new or awkward situations. But eventually I started to see her other side— she became more like an awful roommate that constantly jibber jabbers and just won’t shut up. And she’s not very nice, either. She’s quite judgmental … and negative. In fact, she often mocks me, teases me, even pushes me around. She’s kind of a youknow-what. I hear her loudest just about the time I’m ready to make a bold, long-awaited move— whether it’s finally losing those 10 pounds, overcoming my diet soda addiction, tackling that Mt. Everest-high mound of paperwork on my desk, or meeting that new sales goal—out of nowhere that little voice starts telling me that I won’t succeed, that I’m not qualified, that 613 things are going to go wrong, or that that client who gave me the strange look in my meeting knows that I’m really a dingbat who has no idea what I’m talking about. Sometimes it tells me that instead of going to the gym, I should grab a box of Dunkin Donuts and binge watch “Breaking Bad”; other times it tells me that rather than working on that silly article that nobody is going to want to read anyway, I ought to read the latest issue of The National Enquirer. Quite frequently, it will suggest that in lieu of putting some money away for a rainy day, I must go ahead and buy that 17th pair of boots. It’s like having my own personal bully living inside my head, and it really messes up my juju. After all, we’re already bombarded with nonstop chatter from just about everywhere outside our heads: the television, the radio, magazines (although some of those—at least one that I can think of—are worth listening to), the Internet, Twitter, blogs, celebrities, family, and friends. With all that external

noise about how we should look, feel, act, eat, dress, and think, it’s no wonder I’m paralyzed. Short of having a lobotomy, though, I struggle with how to mute this negative Nellie. I have tried to ignore her, but she’s quite persistent. I tried to talk over her—but the looks I was receiving from fellow Target shoppers as I argued out loud with her and shouted, “Will you please just shut up?” were quite real and had nothing to do with my inner voice. I bet I’m not alone. Do you hear voices, too? Does all that chatter in your head get in the way of your moving forward like it does me? I think it’s time we give the voice the boot once and for all. The voice is feeding off our suspicion that there is something inherently wrong with us. So what if we cut off its food source by believing that we’re just fine exactly as we are? We’ve trusted this bully all these years, and to what end? For me, it’s resulted in the consumption of way too many Dunkin Donuts and a closet full of boots, most of which hurt my feet too much to wear. Let’s mentally walk away from the voice and start trusting ourselves. It won’t be easy—they’re quite stubborn. But we can do it, one thought, one step forward and away from their chatter, at a time. What do we have to lose—other than a bunch of reward points at Dunkin Donuts and our Gold Customer status at Boot Barn?

-dana

DANA NIETERS

. PUBLISHER

C O N TAC T D A N A V I A E - M A I L AT D A N A @ L A K E N O R M A N W O M A N . C O M

BANANA REPUBLIC BARNES & NOBLE BEN & JERRYâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S CLEAN JUICE GAP SNIP-ITS SPORT CLIPS

8, 11AM-3PM VISIT THE EASTER BUNNY! SATURDAY, APRIL FREE PHOTOS, CRAFTS, PRIZES AND MORE

APRIL 2017 |

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MISTI GULLEDGE BENTON , Lakeshore Pediatric Center

WHY WOMEN LOVE SHOES!

woman CONTENTS LKN

APRIL 2017

FEATURE S

in every issue 32

WO M E N O N THE MOV E

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5 T H I NG S TO D O I N AP RI L

SCENE WI T H L KNW

SHE SAID WHAT?! : Shoes That Get Us Moving!

HERE SHE IS: Eve Craig

COVER STORY: Moving In The Right Direction

WOMAN TO WATCH: Michele Edwards

SUCCESS STORY: An Unexpected Passion

{

LISA CRATES PHOTOGRAPHY

F A M I LY

FACTS & MYTHS ABOUT CHILD ABUSE

O N THE C OVER: SHELLY QUINN OF

GEORGIA BANKING COMPANY PH OTO G R A PH Y BY: CHELSEA BREN

8 WAYS TO GET MOVING AROUND LAKE NORMAN

THE UNCONVENTIONAL SPRING BREAK

p FASHION

MICHELE EDWARDS, Studio 73 Dance

WHY WOMEN LOVE SHOES

HOME

YARD GUARD

SELF

5 WAYS TO STAY MOTIVATED

8 WAYS TO GET MOVING AROUND LAKE NORMAN

THE UNCONVENTIONAL SPRING BREAK

HOW TO HONOR GRIEVING FAMILIES

THE GIFT OF LIFE

MIND, BODY, SPIRIT: Change Is A Good Thing

WOMEN & BUSINESS

THE FRUITS OF OUR LABOR

WHAT IS SEXUAL HARASSMENT?

EVE CRAIG,

Smallcakes Carolinas

APRIL 2017 |

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she said what?! MICHELE SCHUERMANN

DANA NIETERS

SHOES THAT GET US

MISTI GULLEDGE BENTON

moving!

AMY HALLMAN

We’re kicking off the “Get “Get Moving” Moving” issue by thinking about which of our own shoes best deﬁnes us.

STEPHANIE SULLIVAN

LESLIE OGLE

CHELSEA BREN

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DEBBIE PARROTT

SHELLY QUINN

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Remove debris. This will help air ﬂow better throughout the grass and prevent diseases and insect infestation. It will also help reduce snow mold, a type of fungus that damages or kills grass after snow melts.

Aerate your lawn. Also important to do in the spring, core aeration allows water and air to reach the root zone faster, which in turn results in new growth and increased root development. It is important to note that this should be done when soil temperatures are at 55 to 60 degrees.

Fertilize in the spring. This will jump start your lawn from its winter dormancy and provide the proper nutrients to withstand the dry, hot months of summer.

Re-seed damaged turf. Spring is a good time to tend to damaged areas, but be careful in using weed control as this can prevent any seed from germinating. It is a good idea to hold off crabgrass control until the latest point possible.

Yard Guard:

5 Tips for Prepping Your Yard for Summer on its way, your mind may be creeping toward your yard—along with the weeds and bugs! There are many things to consider in prepping your yard and guarding it against all things destructive. Here are five tips to help you get your yard looking its best: W I T H WA R M E R W E AT H E R

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Apply crabgrass control. It is necessary to use a preemergent crabgrass control prior to the soil reaching 55 to 60 degrees; after that point, the weed seeds will have begun to germinate. And after germination, crabgrass is very difﬁcult to rid.

For more information on keeping your yard at its finest, visit www.lawncare.org.

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Self reward yourself

track your progress

Every time you reach a signiﬁcant goal, treat yourself to something … maybe it’s that new pair of shoes or a spa visit. Regardless, it is important to reward yourself for a job well done.

Remind yourself of your shortand long-term goals and give yourself credit for reaching them, no matter how small the steps. If you do something positive toward your goals each day, it will propel you forward.

Even the most diligent can get burned out. Take time off—you need it! Recognize that you may be stuck and the best solution is to sit back and regroup.

5 WAYS W TO STAY

motivated

take a break

Perhaps one of the toughest things in life is to stay motivated— and to keep a good attitude while pursuing our goals. Sometimes it’s the busy schedules, or sometimes it is just that we get off track and ﬁnd it difﬁcult to meander back to where we need to be. If you are having trouble keeping yourself moving in a positive direction, here are a few tips to consider:

Try the “15-Minute Rule”—just sit down and work on a project for 15 minutes; if it’s more, great; if not, you’ve at least made a small step in the right direction.

beat procrastination

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read motivational materials Quotes, books, speeches—all these are important to study. Remember, words matter, and what you reiterate to your brain will have an outward effect, helping bring your goals to fruition.

For more ways to stay motivated in your life, visit www.happify.com.

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Skin Care Product Lines SkinMedica® • Elta MD®• Revision Skincare® • Latisse®

Naomi Simon, MD • Scott Paviol, MD Board Certified Dermatologists

Kristin Prochaska, PA-C • Lauren Wilson, PA-C Certified Physician Assistants 128 Medical Park Road, Suite 201 Mooresville, NC 28117 MooresvilleDermCenter.com

704.235.1827 APRIL 2017 |

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FASHION your style

love shoes WHY WOMEN

By: Dana Nieters

Just ask Dorothy. Or Cinderella. Or Carrie Bradshaw. A great pair of shoes can make everything all right. That’s why women love shopping for shoes, purchasing shoes, and wearing shoes—or even just talking about shoes. of all shoe purchases in the U.S. every year—men and children’s shoes aren’t even half of that. And, studies show that most women will never wear at least one half of the shoes they buy—they sit in their closets waiting for the right occasion, which apparently never comes. So, why do we do it? What is it about shoes? WOMEN’S SHOES MAKE UP 60 PERCENT

Although I’m certain my husband will roll his eyes at this news, there is actual scientific evidence that shows that shopping for shoes releases large amounts of dopamine into our brains, which in turn releases good feelings throughout the body, giving us a “shopping high.” The downside, of course, is that when the charge for those Jimmy Choos shows up on your credit card bill, the dopamine is nowhere to be found. Not only does buying shoes send us into euphoria, but we have the added satisfaction of knowing that we’re not just throwing our money away on something frivolous; shoes, after all, are a necessity. We need boots for rainy and snowy days—well, one pair of boots for the rainy days and another pair entirely for the snowy days. We need sandals for warmer weather—but not for the beach; the beach requires flip flops. We need high heels for special occasions and sneakers for working out or just hanging out. That’s six pairs of shoes

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right there that are simply essentials of life—no one could call their acquisition extravagant. Throw in the need for various styles and colors, and I don’t see how a woman can even survive with fewer than 10 pairs. And finally, the reason we love shoes so much is that no matter our body type, regardless of whether we’re tall or slim, or despite the fact that we’ve put on a few pounds lately, shoes look great on us all. For instance, I’m fairly certain skinny jeans were designed by Satan himself, and the cropped top just does not suit my pear shape. But, I’ve yet to find a pair of shoes that weren’t right for my feet (well, except the five-inch heels—Satan may have invented those, too, even though they do look fabulous). I never have to ask, “Do these shoes make me look fat?” Nor must I do squats, lunges, or twist myself into other pretzel-like positions in order to stretch out a pair of shoes. Shoes love us just the way we are! With this knowledge on the science behind why we love shoes so much in return, you can let go of your guilt and head to the shoe store. If your husband is like mine and sighs and rolls his eyes when he finds yet another shoe box on the closet shelf, just blame it on Maslow’s hierarchy of needs and brain chemistry.

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{ H E R E she I S }

AN LKN WOMAN WHO PERSONIFIES WHAT MAKES LAKE NORMAN WOMEN SO GREAT

How great is it getting to make cupcakes and other goodies every day? Who wouldn’t

love baking cupcakes every day and seeing all the smiles on peoples’ faces when they walk through the door? It’s such a fun and friendly environment to work in every day!

What gets you moving in the mornings? The

eve

CRAIG

H O M E TO W N : B E A U F O RT, S C L K N TO W N : H U N T E R S V I L L E HOUSEHOLD: JUST ME

mere thought of being blessed to see another day … another day to work hard, chase my dreams, accomplish my goals, be a blessing to someone, and just be the best person I can be.

What keeps you moving (motivated)?

Success—not the money—but the name that I want to build for myself and the bakery in the community. My family is a strong believer in the notion that if you give back to your community, your community will give back to you! And my mother motivates me tremendously. She was a single parent who struggled and worked hard to provide for us. Now it’s my time to work hard, be successful, and take care of her.

Smallcakes celebrated its one-year anniversary in March. How do you feel about this milestone? I smile when I

stand in the bakery and look around at what’s been accomplished. From time to time, I look at old pictures of the space, when it was just a dusty shell, and remember wondering how it would transform into the amazing space it is today.

What has been the most important lesson you’ve learned so far in life? That nothing

good comes easy. No one owes you anything. If you want it, you have to go get it for yourself. You may not always get it right the ﬁrst time, and that’s ok; but you must learn from those mistakes, make the necessary changes, and keep going! Eve Craig is the owner of Smallcakes, a cupcakery located in Torrence Village in Huntersville, which specializes in gourmet cupcakes, as well as a variety of custom desserts for any special occasion. For more information, visit www.smallcakescarolinas.com, or Smallcakes Carolinas on Facebook, or call 704.727.0284.

i am an LKN oman because… I am a small business owner who is committed to making a positive impact in the community and having a successful business that will be around for years to come!

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BY: DANA NIETERS | PHOTOGRAPHY BY: CHELSEA BREN

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Q PA I D A DV E RT I S E M E N T

a Q & A on Women’s Pelvic Health

ASK THE EXPERT: Q: I

want my mojo back! Dr. Hettiarachchi, can you help me do something about the vaginal looseness I’m experiencing?

BY DR. JOHN HETTIARACHCHI

CO2 laser that takes five minutes to perform. Our clinic was the first in Charlotte to use this treatment and has the most experience in providing this vaginal laser therapy to revitalize vaginal tissue back to premenopausal age.

A: I

can! In fact, we oﬀer a number of treatments that can help with vaginal looseness and the loss of sensation during intimacy that can accompany it. Most patients start with Kegel exercises to help strengthen the pelvic muscles. Unfortunately, though, Kegels don’t work for every woman. Our office is currently working with an effective, non-surgical option called Geneveve™ that helps to rebuild the collagen and elastic tissue in the vaginal canal. I’ve recently traveled to Hong Kong and seen its effectiveness there, but it has been used in other places around the world such as Asia, Europe, and South America for many years with great results. Geneveve™ is a unique treatment with a combination cryo (cooling) application on the surface and deep radiofrequency technology that helps stimulate an increase in collagen production along the vaginal opening, which helps tighten the area. It has been shown in studies to restore sexual arousal and sensation. Another groundbreaking technology to treat vaginal atrophy and painful intercourse is the MonaLisa Touch®, which is a fractional

There are additional options as well. We also use ThermiVA™ to revitalize the vaginal lining and increase lubrication, making intercourse more pleasurable. ThermiVA™ is also a radiofrequency technology and takes approximately 30 minutes. The Orgasm Shot®, or O-Shot®, procedure is a very specific method of using blood-derived growth factors to rejuvenate the vagina to help relieve women with urinary incontinence and sex problems. We inject the patients’ own special blood products into the clitoris and G-spot to enhance the orgasm. We have combined the O-Shot® with the other vaginal therapy options to restore sexual wellness. Patients choose us for their care because we offer multiple technologies, and each patient’s care is individualized to meet that person’s needs. In addition, my experience as a urologist and reconstructive surgeon specializing in female pelvic medicine is unsurpassed in this region. Moreover, it is the mission of our entire team to make each person feel welcome, comfortable, and cared for. Our patients are saying such things as, “I’m having sex like I’m 20 again!” In other words, their mojo is back! Now what about you? Move over, Viagra, and let’s work on getting your mojo back, too!

Dr. John Hettiarachchi, Fellow of the American College of Surgeons, is board certified in Urology and Urological Surgery and subspecialty certified in Female Pelvic Medicine and Reconstructive Surgery. The Charlotte Center for Pelvic Health is the first and only pelvic specialty practice in the Charlotte region offering multiple cutting-edge non-hormonal, non-surgical therapies.

ThePelvicCenter.com

1-855-65-TOUCH (1-855-658-6824)

704-775-8464

19901 W. Catawba Ave., Suite 201, Cornelius

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Tips for making the transition If you are exploring ways to be your own boss and are ready to take the next steps, here are some suggestions for you.

Do your research. For us, a simpler approach was franchising. This does not mean being a franchisee is easy; it simply means startups can be costlier, require a lot more capital, etc.

Explore your passion. Both my mother and I (and yes, Ava, too) are extremely creative people. A natural choice for us was something in which we could use our creativity. Trust me: You need to be passionate about your business when you don’t see daylight a few days per year for the sake of creating smiles for others!

Sherri’s daughters, Ava and Bella Vertorano-Seabeck

The Fruits of Our Labor By: Sherri Vertorano

that this July will mark the 10-year anniversary of leaving behind the corporate world of accounting to account for something else: My own business! With the help of my mother, Helena, and ironically, my 10-year-old daughter, Ava, whom I left the corporate world for when she was only 8 months old, I feel on the top of the world! I T ’ S H A R D TO B E L I E V E

Leaving behind that world opened up the new world of business ownership for me. Running my own business is something I’ve wanted to do since I was in high school, and it appears entrepreneurship is in the genes! With my mom as my business partner, and now Ava as my trusty sidekick when she’s not in school, we flourish with three generations of women who like to take charge!

This is 10-year-old Ava’s to-do list for the store on a daily basis.

Sherri Vertorano, a married mom of two to Bella, 12, and Ava, 10, is also co-owner of Edible Arrangements of Mooresville and Huntersville. For more information, visit www.ediblearrangements, or call 704.658.0006.

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Sherri with her mother, Helena Vertorano

Find a support system. You need a good support system in place, whether it be a silent partner or investor; having someone else to hold you up when you’re down is key! Thanks, Mom! Keep your day job (for now). Leaving behind the perceived stability of a job is hard. You need to be certain that once that paycheck stops coming in, you’ll be able to handle the ﬁnancial responsibility of home and the new venture.

4 5

Rearrange your priorities. Running a business is like parenting a newborn. You must be up for the challenges, and each day may bring a different task. Have help, but know that no one will work harder than yourself.

Asthma & Allergy Center of Lake Norman is becoming Carolina Asthma & Allergy Center Beginning April 3, 2017 2017, offices of Asthma & Allergy Center of Lake Norman in Mooresville and Huntersville will become part of Carolina Asthma & Allergy Center. As members of the CAAC family, Christina Collura, DO, MPH, FAAAI, FACAAI and Julia Parkhurst MS, PA-C will continue to provide the personalized care and service patients expect at the same locations and office hours, while enjoying system, support, and process improvements that Carolina Asthma & Allergy Center will provide. We look forward to offering additional convenience, technology, and support through this merger. Huntersville Office 15940-C Northcross Drive Huntersville, NC 28078

Mooresville Office 311 Williamson Rd, Suite 100 Mooresville, NC 28117

breathe Âť live Âť thrive | www.carolinaasthma.com

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8 THINGS

8 interesting milestones, events, scoops, triﬂes, or just cool stuff

RIVER BOAT Queens Landing 1459 River Hwy., Mooresville

PADDLEBOARDING My Aloha 17505 W. Catawba Ave., Cornelius

HORSEBACK Latta Equestrian Center 6201 Sample Rd., Huntersville

JET SKI Lake Norman Jet Ski Rentals 1459 River Hwy., Mooresville

8 WAYS

to get moving AROUND

| Dreamstime.com

WALKING TRAILS Jetton Park 19000 Jetton Rd., Cornelius

LAKE NORMAN

WHITE WATER RAFTING U.S. National Whitewater Center 5000 Whitewater Center Pkwy., Charlotte

6 w

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RACE CAR Charlotte Motor Speedway 5555 Concord Pkwy. South, Concord

WAGON Lazy 5 Ranch 15100 Mooresville Rd., Mooresville

n u

o i n t a n e l v n o c THE

G N I SPR K A E BR

THE SIERRA CLUB The Sierra Club is the nation's largest environmental organization, which runs week-long trips throughout the country. Families can give back to Mother Nature by working on trails, creating animal habitats, removing invasive plants, or assisting archaeological digs. Most service trips include free time for hiking or exploring your surroundings.

Everyone needs a break from the same ol’ same ol’ and spring break is often the perfect time for families to get away together. But this year, instead of doing the usual spring break routine on a Florida beach, where you’re likely to encounter rowdy 20-somethings and antics not ﬁt for family consumption, how about a spring break in which you make unforgettable family memories and make a positive difference for others? HERE ARE SOME SPRING BREAK OPTIONS FOR BOTH ENJOYING YOUR TIME OFF AND EXPANDING THE MINDS AND OPENING THE HEARTS OF EACH FAMILY MEMBER:

YOUTH REBUILDING NEW ORLEANS Even eight years after Hurricane Katrina, New Orleans still needs help. Kids as young as 12 can work alongside their parents through YRNO to help reduce urban blight by rebuilding distressed and foreclosed homes. The finished homes are sold to teachers to stabilize neighborhoods and positively impact the New Orleans educational system. In the process, family volunteers will have hands-on learning experiences in construction, leadership development, financial literacy, homeownership, and more.

BEST FRIENDS ANIMAL SANCTUARY For a different kind of family vacation, consider the whole group volunteering together at Best Friends. It’s the nation’s largest no-kill animal sanctuary, where children ages 6 and up can work with their parents tending to cats, dogs, rabbits, horses, pigs, and more. In the summer, there is a kids camp, which allows the parents to have a more intensive volunteer experience and the kids to volunteer and enjoy the company of their peers.

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GIVE KIDS THE WORLD VILLAGE Volunteering at Give Kids The World Village inspires hope, creates priceless memories, and helps kids with life-threatening illnesses and their families celebrate life. Volunteers must be a minimum of 8 years old to participate. Volunteering families will engage in a wide variety of activities, from greeting a family at the airport with a sign made especially for a child whose wish is about to begin, to delivering a complimentary pizza to a smiling, grateful family, to helping a child who uses a wheelchair onto her first-ever Universal Studios ride. GLOBAL CITIZENS NETWORK This network sponsors trips to New Mexico, Arizona, Washington, Mexico, Nepal, Guatemala, Kenya, and Tanzania. Volunteer projects are varied and might include building a health clinic, renovating a youth center, planting trees, teaching in a primary school, and installing playground equipment. A big part of these trips is meeting, working, and living with people from other cultures. Families are assigned to teams, which generally consist of six to 10 volunteers plus a trained team leader.

By: Dana Nieters

You can find hope and healing from past abortions. Free small group sessions available in the Lake Norman area.

Call 704.664.4673 (ext. 106) APRIL 2017 |

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right direction Moving In The

“Go conﬁdently in the direction of your dreams,” said Henry David Thoreau. And Shelly Quinn, branch manager at Georgia Banking Company (GBC) in Huntersville, has been doing that ever since she was a young girl in Rochester, New York. By: Leslie Ogle Photography By: Chelsea Bren

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hile Shelly says that her career found her, she has always had her priorities straight when it comes to pursuing life and the things that inevitably unfold when you have the proper perspective and you are firmly anchored in your own capabilities. Shelly started out as a receptionist for a CPA firm in Rochester, eagerly earning money for college. They saw her potential and sent her to IBM school where she was trained to become a System/34 operator. During her 15-year stint with that company, Shelly took the office from a manual bookkeeping system to computerized processing and reporting. “Sometimes you go down a path and, as long as you’re moving in the right direction, your career will find you,” Shelly says. “With my financial background and office skills—and having moved to several states and bought and sold several homes with my husband, Sean—I was a natural fit for the housing industry. I began doing mortgages in February 2000. We had applied for a mortgage with HSBC financial services because they were headquartered in New York, and I was familiar with them. The branch manager was from my hometown, so we got our mortgage and I got a job. I love my career and have been working hard at it for the last 17 years.” Shelly and Sean have been married for more than 33 years and have two grown children, Brian (30) and Colleen (29). After living in many locations, the family settled in Lake

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“Sometimes you go down a path and, as long as you’re moving in the right direction, your career will ﬁnd you." Norman in 1999; they lived in Huntersville for nine years and now nine in Denver. Although work brought them to Lake Norman originally, their love for this community and the people have kept them here. “When we moved,” Shelly recalls, “the kids were in middle school and they quickly became involved with friends and activities. It has also been an ideal location for my work. We just love this area! You get to enjoy the mountains and the beaches, and it is not too far a drive back to New York.”

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Moving away from her hometown, Shelly says, helped nudge her into accepting | APRIL 2017

changes, building on what is presented in the twists and turns of life. Sadly, she lost her father and one of her younger brothers (she is the oldest of five children) to cancer at age 57 and 47, respectively. “It was so hard to watch them suffer and now not to have them to talk to and share things with,” Shelly laments. “My father was my biggest influence and supporter; his smile would light up a room, and he was funny and compassionate—we used to sing while we dried dishes together. I miss him every day. It was very difficult to see these great men leave us too early in life, but it really gave me the ability to appreciate every moment I have on this planet and the precious time we share with our loved ones.” Shelly recognizes and appreciates the great role models who have guided her along the way. Her parents,

she explains, encouraged her to discover who she was, to work hard, stay strong, and be a good leader. “I also had a great Catholic education,” she says, “with teachers who inspired me, and I have a husband who also works long and hard and is so caring and protective of me and the kids. “My associations with friends and influences from day-today encounters have all helped to mold me into a person who cares deeply about those around me. This year, we have seen people be so divided on their goals and views as a country. We are Democrats and Republicans, liberals and conservatives, men and women, young and old; but we are all Americans, and we are more alike than we are different. I think we are better served to have an open mind—to listen and enjoy hearing others’ opinions in our local community, our country, and the world as a whole.”

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women on the move Grand Oak Elementary School parent LINDA MORRIS organized a local group of schools and community members to support Princeville Elementary School, recently damaged by a hurricane in Eastern North Carolina. More than 6,500 books were donated; in addition to an original gift of $5,000, the group gave more than $50,000 in materials.

Grand Oak Elementary School parent STACEY LANIER started an after-school program called Kind Kids, which implements community service projects and teaches children the gift of empathy and giving. Since beginning at Grand Oak, Kind Kids has expanded into Davidson Elementary and R. Brown McAllister schools, including monthly weekend community events involving about 130 students.

Wedding planner ERIN PADGETT has opened a bridal boutique with an “industrial/ modern vibe for brides.” Paige & Elliott Bridal Boutique in Huntersville carries seven designers, including a couture line by Project Runway star, Austin Scarlett, and other brand-name accessories for the big day.

MICHELLE GRIFFITH LOVE has received 501(c)3

status for her new nonproﬁt, The Stand Firm Warrior Foundation. The foundation will raise awareness and funds for research geared toward ﬁnding alternative treatments to chemotherapy and radiation for pediatric cancer and will support families with a child with cancer.

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CONNECT WITH US! Whether you are a woman on the move, looking for events, new businesses in the area, or are willing to contribute your opinion, follow us by visiting www.facebook.com/lakenormanwoman or e-mail amy@lakenormanwoman.com. | APRIL 2017

APRIL 2017 |

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calendar

5 THINGS AN LKN

OMAN SHOULD DO IN APRIL

APRIL 8:

HOP INTO SPRING

2 to 4 p.m. Robbins Park, 17738 W. Catawba Ave., Cornelius

This annual, free, family event is designed for children ages 3 to 12. Participants can enjoy arts and crafts, inﬂatables, balloon twisters, face painting, concessions, music, egg-themed activities, and photo opportunities with Peter Cottontail himself!

Photo courtesy of www.cornelius.org

Photo cour tesy of Town Of

5 S ATURDAY, APRIL 29:

BARK IN THE PARK TOP DOG FESTIVAL Historic Rural Hill, 4431 Neck Rd., Huntersville 10 a.m. to 4 p.m.

The Purinasponsored event is free to the public—and your dog! Enjoy contests featuring several categories, vendors, food, and more. Davidson website

F RI., SAT., & SUN., APRIL 21 THROUGH 23:

APRIL IS FOR ARTS!

Photo courtesy of Lisa Margolis Rural Hill Facebook Page

APRIL 8 & 9:

LOCH NORMAN HIGHLAND GAMES Historic Rural Hill, 4431 Neck Rd., Huntersville

More than 30 Scottish clans and their representatives will be on hand for live, traditional, and Celtic rock music, Highland dancing, Scottish country dancing, amateur heavy athletics, whiskey seminars, a Kids’ Zone, and Rural Hill’s famous historic encampment.

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Friday: 6 to 9 p.m.; Saturday: 10 a.m. to 5 p.m.; Sunday: noon to 4 p.m.

This popular annual art festival brings many to enjoy art, live music, and food. Artists throughout the region will have art displayed and for sale. A local-art gallery crawl will include live performances of jazz, blues, and rock music. Concert on the Green will be on Sunday at 6 p.m.

SATURDAY, APRIL 29:

IREDELL COUNTY GARDEN FAIR 444 Bristol Dr., Statesville 9 a.m. to 2 p.m.

This free event will have a plant sale, vendors, hands-on activities, demonstrations, and master gardener volunteers to answer questions. The public is free to explore the demonstration garden, ask questions, and get ideas for their home gardens.

Photo courtesy of charmeck.org

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““ Scene

WITH

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BE SCENE

LAKE NORMAN WOMAN is getting out and about each month, looking for great events and the fabulous and exciting Lake Norman people who are making them happen! So next time you’re at a chamber event, a new business in the area, or just out having fun, look for Lake Norman Woman and our camera. Who knows, you just might

find yourself in next month’s “SCENE

WITH LAKE NORMAN WOMAN!” LKNW’s Amy with event creator Stacy Phillips and Mecklenburg County Commissioner Pat Cotham at the 2nd annual Galentine’s Day—Project Timely Love fundraiser LKNW’s Stephanie, Dana, and Michele at a sales lunch

LKNW’s Amy with Rachele Caputo, from YOUtolia Counseling and Joanna Roop, owner of The People Tree at Bella Pottery in Mooresville

View more Scene photos & more at our Facebook page: Facebook.com/ LakeNormanWoman

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LKNW’s Amy and Michele with Michelle Ferlauto, event support, at the 2nd annual Galentine’s Day—Project Timely Love fundraiser

LKNW’s Amy and Michele with Tricia Cotham, former representative in the NC House at the 2nd annual Galentine’s Day—Project Timely Love fundraiser

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Funeral attire can vary widely, depending on the family. Many families are more relaxed in their attire. For a family that you assume the crowd will be “relaxed,” a Polo shirt and a pair of khakis is appropriate. For ladies, a nice top and pants are appropriate. However, stained blue jeans and a ripped t-shirt probably are not. If you suspect the crowd to be more formal, for gentleman, a dark suit, white shirt, and necktie are appropriate. For ladies, a dark dress (not necessarily black) is appropriate. If you are unsure, err on the side of being more formal. You will not be overdressed. If you are a pallbearer, plan to wear a suit jacket, as you will likely have a boutonniere pinned on your lapel. If part of the service includes going to the cemetery, ladies will want to wear shoes in which they can walk on soft or uneven ground. Our female staff recommends flats or wedge heels work best.

Self

Always seek to honor the family’s wishes. If they write “in lieu of flowers” they would rather you not send flowers. Respect that. If they write, “memorials may be made to,” then you have the option to make a donation to their charity of choice or to send a floral arrangement. Duly note service times. For a visitation, you can come any time between the given hours, such as 6 to 8 p.m. For the service itself, it is imperative not to be late, and a good idea to be seated 15 minutes prior to the start of the service.

How to Honor Grieving Families

By: Sam James

I N 1 5 Y E A R S W O R K I N G I N A F U N E R A L H O M E , I’ve heard and seen a lot from the guests that come through our doors. Almost everyone coming to a visitation, memorial, or funeral service is well intentioned. They are there because they loved the person or the family of the person who has died, and they want to pay their respects. But at times, to just stand back, watch, and listen will sometimes surprise— and even sadden you. Here are a few funeral guidelines: what to wear, what to do, and what to say.

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I hear so many families leave visitations hurt by what somebody that came to comfort them has said, even if the person was well meaning. It is never a good idea in a visitation line to say that you know how they feel (“My grandma just died; I know exactly how you feel.”); to get theological (“God needed her more than we did.”); or to minimize the impact of death (“At least she made it into her 80s!”). Brooks Brothers’ How to Be a Gentleman guidebook suggests something like, “I am sorry about your loss, Mrs. Magnuson. Your husband was a wonderful person.” I could not agree more. A hug. Let them know you are sorry. That is why you are there. If you ever have any hesitation about what is appropriate, feel free to call the funeral director prior to attending to ask questions. It is the funeral home’s goal to serve the family of the deceased, as well as all their friends who come to support them. Funeral directors are glad to help you in any way possible. It’s what we do.

Sam James is the funeral director, president, and owner of James Funeral Home at 10520 Arahova Dr., in Huntersville. For more information, visit www.jamesfuneralhomelkn.com, or call 704.584.9004.

APRIL 2017 |

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What Is

SEXUAL Harassment? By: Deanna Arnold

Overt advances from a supervisor. Threatening to directly tie an employee’s performance to sexual favors. Sometimes sexual harassment is that apparent; other times it’s less obvious, but just as insidious. Other times a person’s behavior in the workplace makes us uncomfortable but we are not sure if they are actually doing anything wrong. B L ATA N T S E X UA L C O M M E N T S .

In a culture that is far more sexually open than previous generations, it’s becoming increasingly more difficult for women to distinguish when they have an actual grievance. As a result, many women fail to report behavior that qualifies as sexual harassment, especially less obvious forms, even when it is interfering with their ability to do their job, for fear of how they will be perceived professionally. According to the Equal Opportunity Employment Commission (EEOC), unwelcome sexual advances, requests for sexual favors, and other verbal or physical conduct of a sexual nature constitute sexual harassment when this conduct explicitly or implicitly affects an individual’s employment, unreasonably interferes with an individual’s work performance, or creates an intimidating, hostile, or offensive work environment. If your work environment is affecting your ability to do your job because of sexual harassment, follow your company’s procedures for reporting sexual harassment. Document everything. Showing a pattern of behavior by the offender

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can help you clearly spell out your grievances to your employer and ultimately help them take action. Nobody deserves to be treated inappropriately in the workplace or during the course of completing their job, so it is important for it to be reported. Employers who become aware of sexual harassment should also address it immediately. If you witness an instance of sexual harassment, immediately address it by calling a halt to the behavior. Not addressing the offending behavior immediately can send the wrong message to employees and embolden inappropriate behavior, while creating an environment in which employees are afraid to come forward. If you become aware of sexual harassment through a complainant and you have doubts about the allegations—or want to get to the bottom of what is

happening—it is recommended to hire an independent third party to launch an unbiased and thorough investigation. That will provide your company with a neutral third party to provide an assessment of what actually took place so that the appropriate action can be taken. As difficult as it may be to address sexual harassment, as the employer or employee, it is important to do so. Not doing so may give the perception of a workplace culture that is increasingly detrimental and can ultimately become so prevalent that even employees who don’t want to participate feel compelled to do so in order to fit in. Every person has the right to work in an environment free from harassment, for any reason, and where they are treated with respect and dignity; and it is the employers responsibility to ensure that this happens.

Deanna Arnold is the owner of Employers Advantage, LLC, in Cornelius. For more information, visit www.employersadvantagellc.com, or call 980.422.7953.

APRIL 2017 |

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michele EDWARDS LKNW RECOGNIZES A WOMAN DOING EXCEPTIONAL WORK IN THE LAKE NORMAN COMMUNITY, A LEADER WHO IS PAVING THE WAY TO CHANGING OUR ATTITUDES AND INSPIRING CONFIDENCE IN THE FUTURE.

on THE BEAUTY OF DANCE: I began dancing at age 3 at Pegeé Lee School of Dance in Concord. My mother enrolled me just for the interaction with other children. Little did she know that I’d remain for 15 years, pursuing dance through high school. After graduation, I participated on the Appalachian State Dance Team. I was chosen by the National Dance Association to be an instructor with summer dance programs, teaching choreography and dance throughout the South. When I moved back home to attend UNC-Charlotte, I was a Charlotte Hornets Honey Bee for the 1996-97 season. on TRUE LOVE: My husband, Jaren, and I attended the same high school but we never talked during those years. It wasn’t until Jaren’s senior year of college and my freshman year that we were ofﬁcially introduced by his cousin. We met at a football game Thanksgiving weekend in 1995, and by Christmas we were inseparable. Jaren proposed to me at center court of the Hornets vs. Pistons game on February 14, 1997. We were married two years later, and our life together has been wonderful. on PROUD PARENTHOOD: Finley Claire is 14 years old and a 8th grader at Harris Road Middle School. Our son, Easton Eli, is 11 years old and a 5th grader at Cox Mill Elementary School. Finley dances at the studio weekly and is also a cheerleader. Easton is the student body president at school and loves all things sports related. We could not be more proud!

Michele Edwards Studio 73 Dance HUNTERSVILLE, NC

on FATE: Growing up, my dream was to be an FBI agent or undercover cop; dance was simply my outlet from the stressors of daily life. However, after marrying Jaren, I realized that being part of law enforcement was not the best path for me. There I was with a degree in criminal justice but no longer knowing what I wanted to do career-wise. Jaren asked me what my passion was, and I immediately responded, “Dance!” I’ve used my 19-plus years experience to open a dance studio so I could share my passion with others. Michele Edwards is the owner of Studio 73 Dance located at 102 Parr Dr. in Huntersville.You may contact her at 704.875.9911, or visit www.studio73dance.com.

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By: Leslie Ogle | Photography By: Chelsea Bren

APRIL 2017 |

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Self

THE GIFT OF LIFE Facts About Organ Donation

While nearly 95 percent of U.S. adults support organ and tissue donation, only about half are registered as donors. Meanwhile, more than 120,000 people are on the national transplant waiting list; every 10 minutes another person is added to the list; and 22 people die each day waiting for a transplant. With that in mind, here are some myths and facts to help you make the decision to donate:

Myth: I canâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t donate because of an illness.

Anyone can sign up to be a donor regardless of age or medical history. There are very few conditions that would prevent a person from becoming a donor. FA C T :

Myth: Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m too old to be a donor.

The oldest person to donate in the United States was 92. All that matters is the condition of the organ. FA C T :

Myth: My religion may not support organ donation.

Most major religions in the U.S. do support it and consider it the final act of love and generosity toward our fellow man. FA C T :

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Myth: The rich and famous get priority.

Organ donation is managed by a computer system that matches donor with recipient. It is based on blood type, time on waiting list, how sick the person is, and other medical factors. FA C T :

Myth: My family will have to pay for my donation or someone could sell my organs.

There is no cost for organ or tissue donation; and federal law prohibits buying and selling organs in the U.S. FA C T :

For more statistics and facts about organ and tissue donations and how to become a donor, visit www.organdonor.gov.

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family

Facts & Myths About Child Abuse

More than four children die every day in this country as a result of child abuse. April is national Child Abuse Prevention Month, a time to acknowledge the importance of families and communities working together to prevent these tragedies. Child abuse is more than bruises or broken bones; below are some facts and myths about this very difﬁcult problem.

myth:

Only “bad” people abuse their children.

Children usually tell someone that they are being abused.

FA C T : Not

all abusers intentionally harm or mistreat their children. Many have been victims of abuse themselves, and many don’t know any other way to parent a child. Mental illness or substance abuse can also be factors that contribute to child abuse.

FA C T : Most

children do not tell anyone about their abuse. Often abusers threaten to harm them even more if they speak out, or the abused child simply does not know how to express what is happening to them.

myth:

Abused children hate their parents.

Most abusers are men.

children abused by their parents are confused by their © Stanislav Tiplyashin | Dreamstime.com parents’ actions, but still love their parents very much and want to myth: remain in their care. What they want All child abuse most, though, is for the abuse to end.

FA C T : Abusive

acts toward children are just as likely to be carried out by mothers.

FA C T : Most

violence.

myth:

A child-abuse victim will grow up to be a child abuser. FA C T : Many

child-abuse victims become excellent parents. But abused children are more likely to engage in abusive behavior toward their children than others.

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involves

FA C T : Physical, violent

abuse is the most common form of child abuse and the easiest to detect, but not all child abuse is as obvious. Emotional abuse and neglect can be just as harmful to a child, such as ignoring a child’s needs, leaving them unsupervised in dangerous environments, or verbal abuse.

myth:

Children who disclose abuse and later retract their stories were lying about the abuse. FA C T : It

is extremely common for children who have truthfully disclosed abuse to retract their statements due to negative adult reactions to the disclosure of the abuse.

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An Unexpected

Passion

“As a child, the only thing I wanted to do was help people,” says Misti Gulledge Benton, nurse practitioner with Lakeshore Pediatric Center in Denver.

Misti Gulledge Benton, NP LAKESHORE PEDIATRIC CENTER DENVER, NC

FA S C I N AT E D B Y T H E S TO R I E S

concerned about this final rotation. “The first time I met Dr. Wissam Nadra and his staff, I was sure to tell them upfront that I was not interested in pediatrics and would be out of their way in no time,” Misti recalls, smiling. She vividly remembers Dr. Nadra laughing when he told her they would change her mind. This year marks Misti’s ninth year with Lakeshore Pediatric Center, and she has enjoyed every single day.

After graduation, Misti completed an internship in the emergency department at Presbyterian Hospital, and earned a Bachelor of Science in nursing from UNC-Charlotte—and also the Master of Science in nursing, with concentration in family nurse practitioner program in 2008.

Misti says she is blessed with amazingly supportive parents, Dale and Donna Gulledge. She says she inherited the best of both: Her father’s persistence to pursue dreams, and her mother’s kind and generous heart. She also has a younger sister, Tiffany, whom she admittedly torments to this day, but is always forgiven. This June, Misti and her highschool-sweetheart-husband Chris will celebrate 15 years of marriage. They share their Cornelius home with their 4-pound, 9-year-old teacup Yorkie named Chloe, whose personality certainly outweighs

her West Rowan High School health occupations teacher told about her patients, Misti’s interest in a future career in the medical field began to form. “Initially, the glamour and salary potential of a nurse anesthetist was appealing,” Misti admits, but as a student at Presbyterian Hospital Nursing School in Charlotte, she realized she needed more than charm and a nice paycheck.

In her final year of graduate school, Misti contacted Lakeshore Pediatric Center to complete her pediatric rotation. Her only experience with pediatric patients had been in the emergency department where most were traumas, so Misti was actually

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her! Misti glows when she tells of Chris’s devotion and support. “He’s always believed in me, sees the best in me when I don’t, and has never opposed any dream,” she says. Recently, Misti has discovered a passion for cooking. She and Chris have taken cooking classes together and enjoy trying new recipes on the weekends. Also, they love springtime, taking advantage of beautiful days by riding back-country roads with the windows down and ball caps on. An avid reader, one of Misti’s favorite Earl Nightingale quotes is: “Don’t give up on your dreams just because of the time it will take to achieve them. The time will pass anyway.” She hopes that young women in search of a career will take the time to become educated and specialized so that they can be the best they can be. She insists: “Usually along with that passing time, you experience life and get to learn who you truly are, so you can be a great influence for someone else’s life, whom you may interact with along the way.”

By: Michelle Love | Photography By: Lisa Crates Photography

APRIL 2017 |

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…

MIND body spirit BETTER ME

BETTER YOU

BETTER WORLD

Change Is A Good Thing By: Debbie Parrott

“The only thing that is constant is change.” –Heraclitus Even though this pre-Socratic philosopher died in 475 BC, he is often quoted still today. It’s true that change happens every second of every day, and it seems as if things are changing at an even more rapid pace than ever before in history. While change may be constant and inevitable, it is often difficult for us as humans. We are generally a change-resistant species, and will cling to our worst habits and most self-defeating thought processes simply because we are familiar with them. To act or think differently would require us to do the necessary work, and it seems hard. So, can people really change to improve their lives? And if so, how? George Bernard Shaw said, “Progress is impossible without change, and those who cannot change their minds cannot change anything.” A huge part of my work as a therapist is helping people change their minds. If someone comes to see me and says she is unhappy with her job, her marriage, her friends, or any other aspect of her life, my first role is to guide her in rethinking her approach. For instance, if

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she’s miserable at work, I can’t go to her office and ask someone to re-vamp her job description or improve her working conditions. But I can help her come up with a plan to ask for what she wants, to set healthier boundaries, to have a better work-life balance, or possibly to research other potential jobs. All of this requires her to think differently about what would help, instead of simply complaining about what she dislikes. Only then can she decide how and whether to act.

“The secret of change is to focus all of your energy, not on ﬁghting the old, but on building the new.” –Socrates Since change is inevitable, we set ourselves up for continual frustration if we fight it. We are much better off looking for ways to grow and change intentionally, as a lifelong process, than staying stuck in patterns that no longer serve us. The latest brain research focuses on neuroplasticity, which is the ability of the brain to change. Unlike scientists and physicians previously thought, we now know that it is possible to actually create new neural pathways throughout our lifetime, leading to new thought patterns, new habits, and new capabilities. By continuing to learn and

grow, thus, changing our brains, we can help ward off dementia and other health problems, and we may actually be happier! Although change can be hard, and requires moving out of our comfort zones, the results are worth it. Challenge yourself this month with one change, and see how it feels. Make it something significant enough that you will notice the difference, and if you feel better, you will keep going! Some examples are to commit to one day a week away from technology; to take a cooking, dancing, or painting class; to rearrange your bedroom furniture; to practice yoga three times a week; to send four friends or family members handwritten letters; to eliminate sugar … the possibilities are endless.

“To improve is to change; to be perfect is to change often.” –Winston Churchill

and via Facebook.

Debbie Parrott maintains a private counseling practice in Davidson, where she sees adolescents, adults, couples, and families. Debbie can be reached at 704.607.8976

THE MIND, BODY, AND SPIRIT ARE INTIMATELY CONNECTED. Because unhealthy thoughts and emotions can create a vicious cycle that leads to unhealthy physical patterns, we can choose a victorious path that includes a positive, healing, uplifting spiral. By mixing the ingredients of attitude and action, we can change the ﬂavor of our own lives. Learn to nurture your body and soul to lead a more balanced life.

APRIL 2017 |

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