Lake Norman Woman May 2020

LKN STRONG: How We Can Help Our Community Recover

i “help!”

An LKN Toddler’s Legacy Sends Kids To Camp pg. 36

pg. 8

featuring

Laura VanSickle of ClosetsbyDesign

life

good is (still)

KICK THE

QUARANTINE

Blues!

20 Boredom Busters To Keep Busy & Stay Positive pg. 12

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womenpower I F E E L L I K E I ’ V E B E E N T R A N S P O R T E D from my normal, not terribly exciting,

but oh-so-comfortable life into the midst of the novel The Stand by Stephen King. But considering the plot revolves around the survivors of a virus that wipes out 99.4 percent of the world’s population, it’s certainly not one that I ever wished to actually be living.

Thankfully, the coronavirus is not nearly as deadly as the one in King’s novel, although it certainly has turned our lives upside down and created a new world for us to navigate.

To do our part, Lake Norman Woman is helping the elderly, immunocompromised, or those unable to risk coming down with COVID-19 get necessities such as goods and prescriptions that they need. If you or someone you know needs help, please email me at dana@lakenormanwoman.com and we’ll get you on our shopping and delivery list.

We’ve got your back!

DANA JORDAN

Like a work of fiction, our new world is complete with villians and heroes. The virus is the archvillain, of course, robbing us of so much. In addition to the health of so many, it has taken our peace of mind, our financial security, and our freedom to move about and congregate. Heck, it’s even taken our toilet paper.

With all that has been lost, it would be so easy to be consumed by our fears—to isolate ourselves and adopt an each woman for herself approach. But instead, I’ve witnessed teamwork, support, hope, and yes, a lot of heroes emerge in our community.

Not many are wearing capes, and I haven’t seen a single one run into a phone booth and come back out with super powers (Wait…phone booths don’t even exist anymore.

Where do super heroes go to change their clothes these days?) but, I have seen heroes handing out that highly-prized commodity of toilet paper, purchasing necessities for those who are at risk, and finding ways to look out for one another even while maintaining social distancing. In fact, I don’t think the coronavirus is the only thing that’s contagious right now—cooperation and generosity seem to be spreading too.

In King’s novel, the survivors living in the post-apocalyptic world soon realized that the only way they were going to survive was if they banded together and took a stand against the terrifying effects of their new world. And it seems to me that through our gestures of kindness and unity, no matter how small, we’re doing the same right here in this community. We’re taking a stand against this virus and letting it know that while it can take a lot from us, it can’t take away our compassion for one another and our ability to connect with one another. We won’t let it.

The coronavirus may have changed our world, but if we stick together, we get to decide who we are, how we want to live, and what matters to us in it. And if we all channel our inner hero and make this stand collectively, we just might find that we’re a stronger and better community because of it. That‘s the silver lining in all of this.

In the meantime, Lake Norman Woman Magazine hopes that you are healthy and remain safe and secure. We know that now, more than ever, you need positivity and inspiration, and we will continue to share articles and encouraging stories about community, helpful resources, and the magnificent women of Lake Norman. We are here for you and yours and will survive and thrive together. From the bottom of our hearts, we thank you for being an integral part of Lake Norman Woman Magazine.. And if we come across some toilet paper, we’ll be happy to share! w DANA JORDAN PUBLISHER

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KIM CROSS

MAY CONTRIBUTORS:

Cyndy Etler; Jennifer Fischer; Dr. Richard Herring; Michelle Love; Starr Miller; Dr. Ross W. Nash; Vanessa Richardson CONTACT US:

704.895.6168

PO BOX 1000 | CORNELI US, NC | 28031

W W W. L A K E N O R M A N W O M A N . C O M

AD SUBMISSIONS:

ADS@LAKENORMANWOMAN.COM Lake Norman Woman reserves the right to deny any advertisement or listing that does not meet Lake Norman Woman standards.

Submissions are welcome but unsolicited materials are not guaranteed to be returned. Lake Norman Woman assumes no responsibility for information, products, services, or statements made by advertisers or editorial contributors. An advertised special printed in this publication is subject to change without notice. All rights reserved. Reproduction in whole or in part without written permission from the publisher is prohibited.

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CELEBRATING THE

SUCCESS

OF

WOMEN

may contents 2020

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p

32

features

HAPPY

p

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MAY 2020

36

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Tech tips, tricks, & hacks

p

26

COVER STORY: Be Strong And Courageous

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SHE’S MY HERO: Wanette Bolen

36

FEATURE STORY: “I Help!”

42

FEATURE STORY: When Memories Fade

42 tough MAMA’S

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p

p

Stay home with LKNW! 20 things to do at home.

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self

family 34

Want To Help Combat Teen Stress? Help Teens Stack Wins

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Coping With Covid-19: Keep Busy. Keep Positive!

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20 Things To Do At Home

20

Let LKNW Help You!

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Subtle Changes— Brighter Smile

46

MIND, BODY, SPIRIT: Building Authentic Connections Begins With Uncovering Your True Self

48

“In The Time Of Pandemic”

By Kitty O’Meara

health 14

Allergens Or Something More?

home 18

Life Is Truly Good

22

Tips, Tricks, & Hacks: Tech Edition

24

Yard Guard

laura ON THE COVER:

travel 40

Attitudes About Latitudes: Aloha From Hawaii

VANSICKLE

in every issue 30

WOMEN ON THE MOVE

44

PHOTOGRAPHY BY TONI LOVEJOY WORDS MATTER

Summer

Robinson Tabor 704-502-2352 LakeNormanSummer@aol.com

www.SummerTabor.com

20

YEARS EXPERIENCE

7259 Albemarle Drive, Denver $439,900

Lot 5 Junpier Lane, Denver $65,000

Almost new home in Covington at Lake Norman Estates located toward the cul-de-sac. This home features 6 bedrooms (Or 5 bedrooms plus a bonus room) and 4 bathrooms. Gourmet kitchen with granite, SS appliances, double oven, gas cooktop, walk in pantry and fridge. Formal Living & Dining Room.

Awesome backyard with covered porch, brick paver patio & firepit, fenced yard that backs up to trees on .41 lot! Community pool, playground and boat storage.

Treed lot in the quiet Lakewood subdivision. This lot is .68 of an acre. Buy now and build later. This lot would be great for a crawl space or a slab. The middle of the lot has a great, flat building pad. This neighborhood has upscale homes with many of them being on the water. The homes are spaced out well and all unique. Community has a gated boat storage area. Public boat launch is located at the end of the street on Burton. Survey on file.

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lake norman

STRONG

Small businesses are the very fabric of the Lake Norman community, but as we hunkered down during the peak of the coronavirus pandemic, our small businesses struggled to make ends meet.

THE JUNE ISSUE OF N WILL LAKE NORMAN WOMA TION TO FEATURE A SPECIAL SEC GH THE OU THR LKS FO HELP GET L BUSINESSES. CA LO R OU OF S OR DO

nd In “LKN Strong,” you’ll fi ives ent inc and , discounts, deals have l wil t tha es ess sin from local bu sure be So you ready to shop again. n, tio sec l and check out the specia en gre the e hav and then once we port light, get out there and sup es! ess sin bu al loc r ou

Though May 1 has been an unofficial goal for reopening the economy, at the time we went to press with this issue, exactly just how long Lake Norman businesses will have to scale back operations due to the coronavirus remained unclear.

BUT THERE IS SOMETHING YOU CAN DO TO HELP! THE NUMBER ONE THING LOCAL BUSINESSES NEED TO SURVIVE IS SUPPORT FROM THE COMMUNITY. ONCE THE ECONOMY OPENS BACK UP, PLEASE SHOW YOUR SUPPORT FOR OUR COMMUNITY AND OUR SMALL BUSINESS OWNERS BY SHOPPING LOCALLY AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE!

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CORRECT YOUR SMILE FROM YOUR COUCH! schedule a virtual consult and get

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self

COPING WITH COVID-19 …

Some Things To Consider

DOESN’T IT FEEL LIKE

we’re in a disaster movie? Except the movie would have an enemy and a moving series of action sequences, while the heroes followed clues, made discoveries, and finally defeated the enemy. Reality is much more boring. Much more monotonous. Except for those few on the front lines making medical discoveries, we sit… we wait… we pray… and fear spreads.

If experience has taught me anything it is to Keep Busy and Keep Positive. Our biggest contributing factors to fear and panic are waiting and doing nothing. The single most important thing to do is to keep a positive attitude – stay calm and carry on, as the saying goes. A saying born in England in the face of another serious disaster. At the start of World War II the British government wanted to ready its people for the hardships and loss the coming war would bring. History tells us stories of great heroism and compassion among neighbors and strangers during the turbulent years that followed. Today we make history again. At this most dire point in our global history, Americans must respond with strength and dignity. As in history, today there are beautiful stories of compassion; neighbors shopping for food, manufacturers adapting production to make masks, continued support of local businesses, and children making window-rainbows.

Unfortunately there are ugly stories as well. Our actions and reactions today will become the stories our children will tell their children. This is a moment for strength and greatness.

When I was deployed to Iraq I met my new unit over there. They had been deployed for eight months before I joined them. A few weeks before Christmas, I went with the idea that part of my job would be to lift spirits both in the sandbox and at home. I brought music, holiday movies, and stocking stuffers. I made sure everyone could phone home. I took photos

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PROACTIVE BUSINESSES—

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for digital cards for families. I listened to stories about kids and sweethearts. I was someone new to share pictures with. No doubt Christmas was a tough time for our soldiers to be away from home, but I was struck by all the things they’d done to stay positive. There was a sign post with various arrows and distances that listed the home states of all 205 soldiers.

One of our Warrant Officers had contacted various professional sports teams. Our unit was deployed out of Colorado and the Colorado Avalanche and the Broncos sent all sorts of fan paraphernalia, some of it signed.

It made excellent décor from home around our base of operations – and even better spirit awards for deeds of excellence. The mission was on the world stage and everyone took their responsibilities and duties seriously, but we maintained a degree of levity that kept spirits soaring.

Perhaps you’ve lost your job. Perhaps your business is suffering or has come to a grinding halt. Perhaps you have small children who cannot understand why they can’t be with their friends, or you have older children who are as susceptible to cabin fever as you are. Perhaps you are older or infirmed or otherwise find yourself among the vulnerable. In this time of separation, we must be mindful of our moods and our mental health. Do not lose sight of the fact that this is temporary; we will emerge on the other side. Keep busy and keep positive! w Ms. Richardson is a former military officer and owns Cygnal Consulting, LLC, a consulting firm focused on providing clients with processes, tools, and leadership for Project, Enterprise, and Emergency Risk Management. She is a graduate of the United States Military Academy at West Point, NY. The statements here do not represent advice or risk assessment.

L K N e x p e rt

Consider the circumstances of your business. How can you project strength and competence to your clientele?

A cleaning company might stress the use of disposable paper rags and instruct their employees to wear gloves and masks – changed between homes and offices – and switch the emphasis to disinfecting rather than cleaning. Perhaps it makes sense to suspend your business and offer whole house disinfecting when the worst is behind us.

If you’ve had to close, keep communicating with your clients. If you are a business where people congregate, can you adapt to online services?

Schools across the country are continuing education online.

Another great example is The Little Gym in Huntersville.

Owner Ms. Kayla has invited members to join 20-30 minute classes on YouTube as well as FaceTime calls with your favorite instructor. Fabulous way for members to stay busy, stay positive and for The Little Gym to keep the connection with their members. Additionally, some medical offices are moving routine medical appointments to virtual appointments.

Prepare for an explosion of business at the end of the outbreak. When the virus is contained, vaccines are made, and life resumes we will no doubt be changed.

Are there opportunities for your business – or a new business - in that atmosphere?

People will likely be more conscious of hygiene – probably a good outcome. Is there an opportunity for your business to meet a new demand? There may be continued demand for telemedicine or telecommuting.

Will partial telecommuting save you overhead costs? Would your members like to continue virtual yoga (medicine, music lessons, learning, etc…) after the virus scare passes?

WRITER VANESSA RICHARDSON

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SEL F

8 things

write thank-you notes

home

things to do at

try some

new

RECIPES

HAVE A SPA DAY— pamper

your nails, your feet, your skin.

REARRANGE YOUR SPACES:

closets, office, dresser drawers, garage, etc.

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TAKE AN online class

journal

zz z get lots of sleep

Better yet, video journal— these unprecedented times.

© Giuliofornasar | Dreamstime.com

WATCH A VIRTUAL CONCERT www.billboard.com

binge-watch

a series

JOIN AN online book club

go through your camera roll and make a

PHOTO BOOK

Use Skype or FaceTime to video chat with friends and family.

© Herea Mihai

Cosmin | Dream

plant a

garden

stime.com

color hair a new dye your © Zhbampton | Dreamstime.com

update or write

Get some culture via

VIRTUAL

opera

your will and organize your affairs.

www.metopera.org

. Learn a new

style of dance via YouTube, from bellydancing to breaking. mes n board ga w o r u o y e ME! Mak T R IV IA G A Y IL M A F A – T RY

. Try out at-home aerobics or yoga via YouTube.

READ HARRY POTTER

series and follow each one with the movie.

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health

allergens

more?

O R SO M E T H I N G

A SPECIAL Q&A

WITH MANY OF US SPENDING

extended periods of time at home these days, allergies that might not have bothered you before could start to present symptoms for you and your loved ones. Following is some information on indoor allergens that may help you breathe easier and create a healthier environment:

Can Dust Allergies Lead to Asthma? According to the American What Are Dust Allergy Symptoms?

If you have an allergy to dust mites, you may experience the following symptoms:

What Are Dust Mites?

. Persistent coughing . Mucous dripping from the back of the . Scratchy, sore

If you have a dust allergy, then that means you’re allergic to tiny arthropods known as dust mites.

These are indeed tiny creatures, measuring far less than a single millimeter and thus cannot be seen with the human eye. If you want to keep your home free of dust mites, try the following: Run a dehumidifier; if it’s under 50 percent, dust mites cannot survive.

Limit carpeting in the home. Use area rugs instead, and be sure to dry-clean these with very hot water to get rid of dust mites.

Consider throwing out down-filled pillows and blankets, upholstered furniture, blinds, and curtains in addition to carpeting. These surfaces are all hotbeds for dust mites.

Use dust-proof covers for pillows and mattresses.

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throat as well as nose itchiness

. Watery, red, irritated, & itchy eyes

. Congestion

. Itching,

reddened skin

. Excessive sneezing

What Are Some Dust Allergy Treatments? If you’re suffering from indoor allergens, some treatment options include:

Is It a Dust Allergy or Something More?

The problem with a lot of the dust allergy symptoms covered above is they are very similar to a cold or flu. If you have chronic symptoms, and especially if you have a fever, consult your physician immediately. w

Decongestant drops, nose sprays, liquids, and pills.

These control congestion by reducing nasal passage lining size.

Nasal corticosteroids, a common nose spray treatment that alleviates congestion and other uncomfortable symptoms.

If you’re vacuuming or dusting the house, use a filtering mask.This will prevent allergic reactions as you clean your home.Also, limit your time in the room as you’re cleaning it and afterwards.

Antihistamine nose sprays, liquids, or pills. These are used to treat L K N e x p e rt congestion, stuffiness, runny nose, itching eyes, and sneezing.

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nose to the throat, which is also known as a postnasal drip

College of Allergy, Asthma & Immunology (ACAAI), a dust allergy may trigger asthma. This only tends to occur in children, though, and not teens, adults, or seniors. Of course, if someone in your family already has asthma, then an undiagnosed allergy like a dust allergy can absolutely exacerbate symptoms. Your first inclination may be to thoroughly wipe down the house, covering every nook and cranny. The ACAAI suggests not doing this. Kicking up all that dust and dirt from cleaning will only serve to increase the severity of dust mite allergy symptoms and may trigger an asthma episode as well.

WRITER DR. RICHARD HERRING

Dr. Richard Herring is a board-certified asthma and allergy specialist with Carolina Asthma & Allergy Center. For more information you may call them at 704.372.7900 or visit www.carolinaasthma.com.

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home

We have learned Zoom and have lunch together everyday to discuss projects, online learning and how we can be more productive. Our clients are delightful and patient and all in all, we are making sure we all stay safe.

life is truly good

Reach out to others! Zoom has been great for us. Here are a few tips to using Zoom:

All of our lives look very different than they did a few weeks ago. On March 13th, yes Friday the 13th, we had the gala opening of The IDS Charlotte 2020 Charity Showhouse project I have written about over the past year. This charity project with a team of 239 vendors, 3 builders, 45 designers and well over 150 volunteers came to an abrupt stop Monday, March 16th. As did all of our lives. By April 1st, how apropos, the homes were closed. So why is life good?

W O W, W H AT A W H I R LW I N D.

We found ingenuity in teamwork. On Wednesday, March 18th a professional video team was onsite to film the entire project before the Stay at Home mandate. This amazing project will be ready for a pay-per-view charity offering in the coming months. This is what a community can do when brought together for a common goal and for the common good.

My husband and I are both working from home, and Life is Good.

Thankfully, we each have our own spaces, otherwise I might have to change this to – meet me in jail. However, it is nice having him around! He is the most disciplined person on earth and is a great influence on me.

I, like you I hope, are at home all day, every day, and Life is Good.

I am a planner and I love a list! I have been making lists of our home projects that need to be done. I often write about the Cobbler’s Children Needing Shoes. Well, I certainly have time and opportunity to spend a bit of time focusing on the issues of my own home during this quarantine. One can only watch so much TV. Lists are being made. Action plans are being pulled together. Also, let’s not forget puzzles. Thank goodness for puzzles. They work with my analytic mind and help me focus.

My design team must now work from their homes, and Life is Good.

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• Place your monitor or laptop up

high so the camera is above your face.

No one likes a double chin.

• Add a soft wattage light on your face, from behind the camera.

• Make sure your backdrop is camera ready or download a picture and use that as your backdrop.

If you are working from home here are some suggestions for your home office: • Find a great chair, there is nothing worse than a bad back! A chairmat will help you save your floor and rug!

• Make sure you are set up to be productive. If you need something to help you work at your desk pull it from another room, ask your boss or make the Amazon purchase.

• Great lighting is a must, not only for your work, but for your outlook.

• Plenty of space to spread out. I added a small desk to the side of my home work space so I could keep everything orderly.

• If you can’t close the door grab some headphones. We need to concentrate.

• Go out in the yard and cut a spring flower. Put it on your desk. We all need a bit of pretty right now.

I wish the best for everyone in our community. I have seen the best in my neighbors. We are supporting our local restaurants with takeout, having Zoom cocktail parties and making sure we all stay safe.

Be well. We are in this together! w Starr Miller is the president and principal of StarrMiller Interior Design located in Cornelius.

Her national award-winning firm specializes in residential new construction and renovations. For more information visit www.StarrMiller.com or call 704-896-3321.

L K N e x p e rt

WRITER STARR MILLER

WE APPRECIATE YOU

The past few months have been difficult. From the bottom of our hearts, thank you for supporting us in the fight against COVID-19.

#MyHealthMyIredell IredellHealth.org

704.873.5661

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We know how busy life can get—kids, work, family, friends ‌ sometimes just getting dinner on

home

the table is a Herculean feat! So in an effort to save our readers some time, effort, and money here are a few tips, tricks, and hacks that might come in handy in your busy world!

A free tool called SpaceSniffer

can be used to easily find which files and folders are taking up the most space on your drive.

From there, you can delete them, freeing up tons of storage space!

TIPS,

YouTube keyboard shortcuts:

tricks,

K for pausing; J to go back a few seconds and L to go forward a few seconds, and the M works for mute.

Super handy!

& HACKS Ctrl

Z

Ctrl

Y

TECH EDITION

Ctrl + z is the ultimate hot key

and will undo almost any action. Also, if you accidentally delete or move a file, you can hit Ctrl + Z to bring it right back to where it was, and Ctrl + Y will redo whatever you undid.

Accidentally closed a tab?

Simply press Ctrl + Shift + T to reopen the most recently closed tab (Cmd + Shift + T on Mac).

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P A

C

O

P

S

T

E

Y

When you copy text from any source source,

programs will usually include the formatting.

To paste this as plain text, press Ctrl + Shift + V instead of the standard Ctrl + V, and it will paste unformatted (Cmd + Shift + V on Mac).

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home

YARD guard

5 TIPS FOR PREPPING YOUR YARD NOW FOR SUMMER

This time of year, your mind may be creeping toward your yard—along with weeds and bugs! There are many things to consider in prepping your yard and guarding it against all things destructive. Here are five tips to help you get your yard looking its best:

1

2

REMOVE DEBRIS

This will help air flow better throughout the grass and prevent diseases and insect infestation. It will also help reduce “snow mold,” a type of fungus that damages or kills grass after snow melts.

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AERATE YOUR LAWN

Core aeration allows water and air to reach the root zone faster which in turn results in new growth and increased root development. It is important to note that this should be done when soil temperatures are at 55-60 degrees.

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3

FERTILIZE IN THE SPRING

This will jumpstart your lawn from its winter dormancy and provide the proper nutrients to withstand the dry, hot months of summer.

4

RE-SEED DAMAGED TURF

Spring is a good time to tend to damaged areas but be careful in using weed control as this can prevent ANY seed from germinating. It is a good idea to hold off crabgrass control until the latest point possible.

5

APPLY CRABGRASS CONTROL

It is necessary to use a pre-emergent crabgrass control prior to the soil reaching 55-60 degrees; after that point, the weed seeds will have begun to germinate. And after germination, crabgrass is very difficult to rid. w

For more information on keeping your yard at its finest, visit www.lawncare.org.

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FEATU R E

cover story

be

strong courageous

and

“Take the leap! Do your homework… but then take the leap!

There is never going to be a perfect time.

You’re never going to know enough. You will grow into it. If you are passionate and committed, you will learn as you grow.

Fifteen years later, I’m still learning.”

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Wise words from a wise LKN woman who has seen her share of struggles, set-backs, and successes.

Laura VanSickle, co-owner of ClosetsbyDesign in Charlotte, has a second bit of advice: Find the right people to support you. “We have a team that amazes me every day,” Laura smiles. “The boat only moves forward if you are all rowing in sync.

This was never clearer to me than at the beginning of the pandemic.

Our team jumped on board with a totally new way of doing things.

They remained positive, lifting up each other…as well as me. You can only do so much on your own. You need people with the same vision, same work ethic, and the same positive attitude around you to help you grow to the next level. When we saw the impact in other parts of the country and world, we decided to start a plan early on to transform our in-home consultations to virtual in-home consultations. It’s been very successful!”

Growth is great, but it has its own challenges. Laura and her team have to continuously evolve and reinvent themselves, especially in today’s world. They have been able to adapt so they can hold true to their standards and keep things running smoothly. Growing the business with husband Eric, ClosetsbyDesign— which literally started on their back porch—moved to a small shop with a beam-saw and then on to the 38,000-square-foot manufacturing facility and showroom of today.

“Right from the beginning,” recalls Laura, “we were both committed to being the very best at what we did. I was one of the only designers when we first started, and I told Eric that he had to be sure to give people the great product and experience that I promised because I gave them my word. That still holds true today.

I think our personal commitment is the secret to our success. Today, we have over 20 designers and

WRITER LESLIE OGLE PHOTOGRAPHER TONI LOVEJOY

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10 installation crews, but we are personally engaged with each and every one of them to be sure our customers get the same experience today as they would have from one of us 15 years ago.”

Having weathered the 2008 recession, Laura and Eric were prepared for the impact the pandemic might have on their business, and they were quick to formulate a game plan. As one might imagine, moving a company of this size to a virtual/remote business could be quite daunting but Laura pulled from many sources.

“It was definitely one of the greatest challenges I have ever faced,” she says, “but I have an incredible team and everyone stepped up. Seeing how every single person in our CBD family pulled together was incredibly gratifying and heartwarming. It just confirmed to me that we have chosen the right people to represent us.”

“

when I look back, my most challenging times were the times I have grown most as a woman, as a mother, and as a business owner. ”

Originally from Long Island, Laura had a thriving career in NYC prior to moving to North Carolina in 1999, assuming the position of editor for both Mademoiselle and US Magazine.

After a move to Boston for Eric’s work, she began freelance writing for national publications including Self, McCalls, Ladies Home Journal Journal, and People Magazine. She has interviewed and written articles on the likes of Angelina Jolie, Robert Downey Jr., and Christopher Reeve. Another move brought them south, and Laura knew she was home. “I couldn’t imagine myself being a ‘southern girl,’ Laura grins, “but now I couldn’t imagine living anywhere else.”

Laura has a strong support system here in the lake area. Her sisters and mom

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(who have also worked for the business at times) inspire her daily. “I feel so blessed to have them all nearby. My mom has been a source of inspiration throughout my life. She was a single mom who went back to school to finish her degree—and then started her own business at a time when a lot of women weren’t doing that. Spiritually, she is our rock. She is a great listener, advisor, and prayer warrior. She is the first person we all turn to when we need someone to listen and to help us think out our problems…and solutions. We love you, Mom, and HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY! DAY!” Lovingly describing her own children as funny, compassionate, civic-minded individuals who are driven to be the best they can be, Laura has reason for pride.

Her kids’ achievements are impressive.

Daughter Sarah (26) has several degrees (Wake Forest, Harvard, and a French business school). She is married and works for a French software company in Paris. Jackson (23) and Christian (21) both played D1 football. Jackson played on the first UNCC team to make a bowl game this past year. He graduated in December and now works for the company. Christian is finishing his junior year at Elon where he plays football.

When asked about challenges in her life, Laura has some comforting and encouraging words that have served her well: “Faith. I have really strong faith in God. I believe that no matter the obstacle, God has my back and He will work it toward my betterment in the end. That doesn’t mean I won’t have to go through struggles … but when I look back, my most challenging times were the times I have grown most as a woman, as a mother, and as a business owner. I often repeat Joshua 1:9, ‘Be strong and courageous. Don’t be discouraged. The Lord your God is with you wherever you go.’” w

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women

move ON THE

TARA ALLMENDINGER,

Mrs. Greater North Carolina, is a Riverkeeper for Catawba Riverkeeper Foundation (CRF) and candidate for Mrs. North Carolina America 2020.

Horizon Church hosted a Personal & Public Safety Training session (pre-COVID) with SPD Criminal Investigations Officer, KATHLEEN POPE, pictured here (front left) with another fellow officer and the good folks of Horizon Church in Statesville.

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The Welcome Committee recently hired CATHY GOODWAY as a Greeter in the Huntersville market and MAUREEN MCNICHOLAS in the Davidson market. Welcome Committee Greeters personally visit up to 250 newcomer households monthly throughout Huntersville, Cornelius, Davidson, Denver, Stanley, and Mooresville to acquaint them with their new community.

SHOLEH EHDAIVAND,

President and CEO of LMK Clinical Research Consulting, has been named by Charlotte Business Journal as a recipient of the 2020 Women in Business Award.

LMK is a certified woman and minority owned clinical trial services firm based in Charlotte.

Whether you are a woman on the move, looking for events, new businesses in the area, or are willing to contribute your opinion, follow us by visiting www.facebook.com/lakenormanwoman or e-mail leslie@lakenormanwoman.com.

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SHE’S MY HERO:

wanette bolen

NOMINATED BY:

Her daughter, LKNW editor Leslie Ogle

REASON FOR NOMINATION:

My mom is more than remarkable! An 82-year-old psychotherapist, she will still diagnose you if you sit still long enough. Not only has she counseled us kids through the years, but she has literally saved lives with her wisdom, guidance, and advice.

And there’s a mighty handsome brain behind all that beauty.

My mom is truly one of the smartest people I have ever known. Her education, insights, and intellect speak volumes but it all comes out of this amazingly beautiful woman! Beauty, intellect, clever sense of humor, huge heart for helping others—I am just lucky to call her Mom and my Super-hero!

She was/is the cool mom. All the kids gathered at our house during high school … it was a place where you could feel safe and have fun and even get some good advice—without judgment and in the strictest of confidence. Many of our friends, now in their 50s, still call her “Mom.”

Generosity abounds. She is generous with her heart, mind, and soul … she shares all. She is generous with her money.

She is generous with her advice. She is generous with her time. She taught us the meaning of giving and the meaning of honesty, integrity, and the value in being your authentic self.

WHO’S YOUR HERO?

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If you have an LKNWoman hero in your life, tell us all about her. Email Dana at dana@lakenormanwoman.com with My Hero in the subject line.

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Strength of fortitude.

Despite having just entered a new phase in life by moving into an assisted living facility, she is always cheerful, positive, and grateful—traits she instilled in us kids.

teens teensaloud! aloud!

F AMI L Y

YOUR TEEN, TRANSLATED

flights of stairs. It was relief, plain and simple.

My reply ushered in the next step of the process. I asked I got it done!!!! him, “What are you working on now?” I’d been quiet as he reeled off the torturous Here it is thoughts, offering a simple line of validation: Angsty is fine here. I knew his brain I feel great was empty when he sent his poetic wrap-up. He was ready for a shift in topics.

About to do the next one

HELP O T T N A W

combat

S.

K WIN C A T S S N E LP TE

HE

I T W A S T H E L A S T in a long string of messages. Each text

box read like a mini-nightmare, an expression of teen stress around how their work is perceived by classmates.

The final text was sheer poetry: “Not to be angsty, but.”

Angsty equals anxious equals stressed out. The lingo changes with the generations, but the feeling remains the same: a serrated-edge fear that things are basically not okay. The remedies are equally timeless: there are 5,000-year-old stone tablets depicting yoga postures, while illustrations of meditators appear in Indian wall art dated 5,000 to 3,500 BCE. But is your average high schooler likely to sit Zazen? In a word, nope. For my texting buddy, like all the others I work with as a life coach for teens, the fix for stress lies in more concrete actions: scrubbing their brain, then taking action on projects they’re passionate about.

This kid’s stress began melting as soon as he thumbed out those texts, because he knew he was communicating with someone who would listen without an agenda. As a teen coach, I don’t have answers or suggestions. Instead, I have questions to help kids find their own solutions. He knew I wouldn’t try to convince him his fears were wrong or make suggestions about how he should deal with them. Sending me his thoughts was like setting heavy grocery bags down after lugging them up ten

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I could have steered the conversation another way, asking what had triggered his thoughts. Perhaps someone had posted about him on social media. Maybe he’d overheard classmates talking. But exploring the anxiety’s triggers isn’t my role. My role as a teen coach is to listen, and help kids figure out their next step on the way to their goals.

By asking him about the work he was choosing to do, I called his attention away from his teen stress and toward his ideal future as a musician.

He replied with a screenshot of the piece he was working on. He was hoping to finish it by morning. I sent him a string of thumbs-up, then went to sleep.

I woke to a different kind of poetry: five new text messages.

Then the thread went silent as he spent the day working on the music he loves and feels renewed confidence in.

By clearing out his brain, he made room to focus on his passion project. By hearing interest expressed in his work, he became inspired to shift his focus there. By completing a daunting project, he boosted his self confidence and felt inspired to tackle the next one. By focusing on work he cares about, he barred new anxious thoughts or fears from taking root.

So yeah. Angsty may be fine here, but I feel great! is even finer. With agenda-free listening and an interest in teens’ passions, we can help them move from A to G. w

L K N e x p e rt

Cyndy Etler is a board-certified teen life coach and award-winning young adult memoir author. Her work has been featured on CNN, NPR, CBS’ The Doctors, Huffpost, Today’s Parent, and other international media.

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feature

i help!

the death of a child, the love for them doesn’t fade.

You still have a deep need to love on them—but because they’re not here to physically receive it, that love is often spread in other ways. It might be shown by perfectly arranging their flowers at the cemetery or keeping their headstone clean, or starting a foundation in their memory, or donating to one in their honor. For Liz Mills of Cornelius, the love for her daughter, Easton, is spread to children in the Cornelius area who are financially unable to attend summer camps.

W H E N YO U E X P E R I E N C E

The Mills family moved to the Lake Norman area in September 2016. “As soon as we moved here, I joined the Lake Norman YMCA,” says Liz. Her 2-year-old daughter, Easton, attended her “school” at the Y while Liz worked out and while brother, Grant, was at elementary school. “She always wore this large mermaid backpack to the Y – she wanted to wear a backpack just like her brother did when he went to school,” smiles Liz. Easton’s large personality complemented that oversized backpack, and she was famous for her extra-large hair bows, too. “She had to have a big bow in her hair every day,” laughs Liz. She was a happy child and loved to have fun.

This year’s event has been postponed due to the Coronavirus situation, but the team is still planning to hold the event when the situation resolves.

How can YOU help?

Contact the Lake Norman YMCA to find out more at ymcacharlotte.org/ branches/lake-norman.

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Her motto was “I help,” says Liz. Easton loved to help her mom with anything she was doing –cleaning, sweeping, or yard work – she just loved being with her family. “Her brother was her favorite person in the world,” describes Liz. Grant was just 6 years old when his sister passed away.

On May 3, 2017, Easton showed signs of sickness. Brandon and Liz rushed her to the hospital. Blonde-haired, blue-eyed Easton passed away on May 5, 2017, just a few months shy of her third birthday.

She died from a very rare type of brain cancer called ATRT (Atypical Teratoid Rhabdoid Tumor). For children under 3, the survival rate is less than a year.

In 2018, as the first anniversary of Easton’s passing was approaching, Liz and her friends at the YMCA got together and planned an event to honor her little girl. The Easton Mills Memorial Challenge raised $10k that first year for the “Send-a-Kid-to-Camp” Scholarship at the Lake Norman YMCA. Last year’s event raised $13,000 for the scholarship fund. “I know Easton would approve,” says Liz, “and she would love that we are providing a safe, fun summer for kids in our area.” w WRITER MICHELLE LOVE

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self

subtle changes

Brighter Smile PORCELAIN VENEERS ARE

thin shells of ceramic material used to change the color, shape, or alignment of natural teeth.

Also called laminates, they become a new surface for the natural tooth. They are made through various techniques— from hand layering by a ceramic artist to computerized design and manufacturer. The materials available are durable and stain resistant as well as beautiful.

Dr. Ross W. Nash practices general and cosmetic dentistry at Cosmetic Dentistry of the Carolinas in Huntersville, North Carolina. He is one of less than one hundred dentists world-wide to become an Accredited Fellow in the American Academy of Cosmetic Dentistry showing that he has acquired extraordinary skills in the area of esthetic and cosmetic dentistry. He is the founder of the Nash Institute for Dental Learning where he teaches other dentists and team members the art and science of advanced esthetic dentistry.

L K N e x p e rt

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Porcelain veneers are attached to the teeth with strong bonding agents and composite resin cements. The bond is very strong.

Ceramic materials are inherently brittle, but supported by an underlying strong structure, they become quite strong. The bonding process in dentistry allows for this lamination effect, so the ceramic veneers are actually strengthened after bonding to the tooth, and the tooth is strengthened by the same process.

Sometimes no preparation of the tooth is necessary while other situations require some initial changes in tooth shape.

Regardless, porcelain veneers are very conservative and noninvasive. The process usually takes two appointments a few weeks apart. Sometimes temporary veneers will be used for this period; other times, no provisional veneers are needed.

After placement, the veneered teeth can be used normally with some caution when biting hard items like ice or hard candy just as with natural teeth. Daily brushing and flossing as well as regular dental cleanings and examinations are recommended.

Ultrasonic scalers and coarse polishing pastes at the dental office should be avoided so that the chances of scratching the porcelain is minimized.

Longevity of porcelain laminate veneers will vary according to the person’s particular situation and their personal habits. They have the potential to last for many, many years because of the excellent wear resistance, durability, and color stability. Porcelain veneers can be made in a variety of colors and shapes and are customized for personal choice.

Dr. Monica Wheeler practices dentistry in Raleigh and asked me to treat her with placement of porcelain veneers to enhance her already attractive smile.

While her teeth were healthy and well aligned, she desired a wider and whiter smile. With no preparation for the natural teeth, I was able to achieve her goals using thin porcelain veneers to widen and straighten her smile and provide a natural white color in a noninvasive way. w

WRITER ROSS W. NASH, DDS

travel

attitudes

latitudes

ABOUT

THIS MONTH WE HEAR FROM ANNA STOWE

(OWNER OF GREAT DESIGN 4 U) WHO SHARES ONE OF HER ALOHA ADVENTURES WITH US—

THE BIG ISLAND SPIRIT. DESTINATION FACTS.

Hawaii consists of eight main islands: Niihau, Kauai, Oahu, Maui, Molokai, Lanai, Kahoolawe, and the Big Island. Hawaii has its own time zone (Hawaiian Standard Time.) There is no daylight savings “Changes in latitudes, time; it runs two hours behind changes in attitudes,” as one Pacific Standard Time and five Mr. Jimmy Buffett sings, and here at hours behind Eastern Standard Lake Norman Woman Magazine, we Time. The best months to visit the Big Island are couldn’t agree more! Whether it’s an mid to late-April, escape to your favorite beach that you took May, September, last summer or an exotic location halfway and October for around the globe that you’re planning the best combination of great weather, cheaper for future travel, we want to share those rates, and fewer people. adventures with our readers.

I have been to Hawaii several times and by far my favorite is the Big Island.

I would definitely recommend going, if possible, for two weeks—spend one week in Hilo and one week in Kona … it will not disappoint!

ALOHA MUST-DO’S.

Hiking—there are tons of beautiful hiking trails all along the coastline and of course around the active volcanos. Also, I highly recommend snorkeling with the manta rays at night. They are a little intimidating at first but fear not! They are absolutely beautiful and very docile creatures. And finally helicopter tours are a definite must … you get a breathtaking view of God’s creations and really get an appreciation for this beautiful island.

OFF THE BEATEN PATH.

We want to hear from you! Please send your photos and adventures to Leslie@lakenormanwoman.com and you could be featured in an upcoming issue of Lake Norman Woman Magazine!

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I like to have more of a locals’ experience, so I always find little restaurants that are hidden gems. You will get the best of local cuisines this way … authentic poke from Hawaii is amazing! The fresh fruits and vegetables of the region grace every meal, and of course the seafood. Also, I tend to find the locals are far more inviting and welcoming as opposed to more touristy locales. w

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FEATU R E

when memories fade: a s t o ry o f a dau g hte r’s l ove fo r her mothe r

T H E S TO R Y I S N ’ T P R E T T Y B U T, L I K E M O S T I N S P I R AT I O N A L TA L E S ,

beauty is woven through the pain and ends with renewed, bittersweet purpose – a mother and her daughter, the strong relationship between them, and how the rapid onset of dementia has sparked a passion to help others. We begin with Susan Spencer – teacher, entrepreneur, attorney, single mother to her daughter, and a real trailblazer. In 1984, she was the first and only female vice president, legal counsel, and team general manager in NFL history and still holds that distinction. Susan was the daughter of Leonard Tose, owner of the NFL’s Philadelphia Eagles, but who would most likely rather be remembered as the founder of Ronald McDonald House, what he considered to be the crown jewel of his accomplishments. To listen to Susan’s daughter, Marnie Schneider of Mooresville, Susan was the kind of mother any girl would wish to have. “She’s always been my best friend, my biggest cheerleader, and strongest advocate,” describes Marnie, with tears in her voice. Susan is also a beloved grandmother to Marnie’s three children: Johnathan, Goldie, and Leonardo.

In 2018, Susan was diagnosed with Frontal Lobe Dementia (FTD). “It’s so hard to even think about this situation and how quickly it escalated,” Marnie shares. It has been a dark and scary illness progression. Degenerative neurological diseases like dementia often create chaos in families – from making tough decisions on caregiving to finances and living situations – so Marnie is thankful to be the one responsible for her mother’s care. “I’m a participant in her daily life,” says Marnie. After first noticing slight changes in August of 2016 when her mother contracted shingles, and two years later when her mother had increased instances of confusion and agitation, Marnie stepped in as full-time caregiver. Following a second opinion at Duke, Marnie moved Susan from California to North Carolina and then into her own home at the end of 2019. Although Susan is now in the final stage of disease progression, and Marnie acknowledges that none of this work will help her mother, she remains passionate about making a difference in the lives of families facing this disease. “It would be reckless for me not to be involved,” she asserts. “I know what this disease does, and I want to find ways to help others, whether it be to support caregivers or find ways to increase intense interventions.”

“We look forward to honoring Marnie [Schneider] with the 2020 Award of Excellence at this year’s Memory Gala. She is a tremendous caregiver for her mother and goes above and beyond in raising awareness about Alzheimer’s disease. We are fortunate to have her in our community and greatly appreciate Marnie for actively lending her voice, energy and spirit to the fight to end Alzheimer’s.”

- KATHERINE LAMBERT, CEO, Alzheimer's Association Western Carolina Chapter

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Marnie works closely with the Alzheimer’s Association and is the recipient of the 2020 Award of Excellence, to be presented at the 2020 Memory Gala in Charlotte on August 29. Katherine Lambert, CEO of the Alzheimer’s Association Western Carolina Chapter states, “Alzheimer’s forces us to appreciate the small moments – the smiles, the laughs, the love.” Marnie and her children do just that. They live by a mantra her mother always asked of the Eagles players: “If you aren’t adding value, why show up?” Marnie continues to find ways to add value to their lives, as well as the lives of others who are going through the pain of watching this disease eat away at loved ones.

As we celebrate Mother’s Day this month, we honor the relationship between mother and child, as well as the women who fill the special role of mother. Marnie encourages others to take the time to appreciate the small moments, honor the memories, create new ones, and celebrate the love for the women who brought us here. w

WRITER MICHELLE LOVE

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S D R O W matter

“Sometimes you will never know the value of a moment, until it becomes a memory.”

Words are magic. They

you’re really quite

chemistry! As wordsmiths here at LKNW, we are especially fond of words that will resonate with our readers, in hopes they will help guide & inspire you.

This month we give a nod to the quote master himself, Dr. Seuss!

"

“Today I shall behave, as if this is the day I will be remembered.”

you ARE you,

today

that is truer than true.

THERE IS NO ONE ALIVE

who is Youer than You.”

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" JUST TELL YOURSELF, DUCKIE,

actually change our brain

LUCKY!”

Don’t cry because it’s over.

smile

because it happened.”

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self

BETTER ME … BETTER YOU … BETTER WORLD

MIND body SPIRIT

By mixing the ingredients of attitude and action, we can change the flavor of our own lives. Learn to nurture your body and soul to lead a more balanced life.

BUILDING AUTHENTIC CONNECTIONS begins with UNCOVERING YOUR TRUE SELF Do you long to create authentic connections? While our relationships with others are vital pieces of our life puzzle, the challenge that often exists for women is to view their relationship with themselves as –dare I say – the most important piece.

Women who understand and appreciate themselves experience the freedom to be who they really are. This paves the way for them to form deep connections that enrich their lives. After all, we can only build authentic relationships with others when we bring our true selves to the world.

To uncover the real you, and in turn strengthen your connections, adopt a practice of self-exploration. Here are a few ideas to help you begin:

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You are ever-evolving as the seasons of your life change. Accept that you are

not the same yesterday as you are today, and you will discover all of who you are becoming. What can you learn about yourself in this season of your life?

Assess the way in which you communicate with yourself. What

does this tell you about your beliefs? Perhaps you would like to make changes. How would it be beneficial to talk to yourself moving forward?

Pursue peace. This

will help you to see, discover, and hear whatever you need to know at the present moment. Pray.

Meditate. Do whatever works for you to tune out the noise, and the answers will come.

Invite the emotion of empathy to serve as your guide as you “walk” through your life and visit the various roles you have played. Attempt to see yourself from the perspective of someone who is lovingly watching from the outside and cheering you on. Journal your observations and feelings. You just may learn something about yourself as you do this.

Try this journaling exercise:

Other ideas: Explore

hobbies and passions, regularly try something new, and take advantage of online assessments to learn insights into your personality. All of these things will help you connect with who you are beyond the labels that have been affixed to you.

Your protective barriers can come down when you feel safe. This opens the door for you to make far greater discoveries.

Finally, be kind to yourself.

The result of embarking on the journey of self-exploration? A deep appreciation for who you are!

Out of that appreciation, you are able to grow in love and acceptance. The more you love and accept yourself, the more you are able to love others for who they truly are and see the value they bring to your life.

If you have been longing to transform your relationships, start with yourself.

Imagine the joy of walking through life authentically as you were created to be and forming heart-centered connections along the way. Your life will be richer for it! w

Jennifer Fischer empowers women to fully embrace their unique gifts and become active participants in their lives. For the past six years, she has been coaching women to achieve their greatest levels of success. Jennifer and her husband, Andy, offer coaching and consulting services through their company Maximize and Thrive, LLC. To connect with them, please visit www.MaximizeandThrive.com.

WRITER JENNIFER FISCHER

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And the people stayed home.

And read books, and listened, and rested, and exercised,

and made art, and played games, and grew gardens full of fresh food, and learned new ways of being, and were still.

And listened more deeply.

Some meditated, some prayed, some danced.

Some met their shadows.

And the people began to think differently.

And the people healed.

And, in the absence of people living in ignorant, dangerous, mindless, and heartless ways, the earth began to heal.

And when the danger passed, and the people joined together again, they grieved their losses, and made new choices, and dreamed new images, and created new ways to live and heal the earth fully, as they had been healed.

IN THE TIME OF PANDEMIC BY KITTY O'MEARA, 2020

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