Lake Norman Woman Magazine March 2019

LOVE IS IN THE AIR…

Our Annual LKN

guide

bride

FEATURING

Alyssa Jastrzebski of North Carolina Weight & Wellness

(pg. 20)

LIVING & LEADING FROM THE

Heart (pg. 12)

HOW CHRONIC DISEASE CHANGED HER LIFE…

for the Better! (pg. 58)

MARCHING to your own

drum!

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LAKE

NORMAN

V O L U M E

X I I

,

WOMAN

N U M B E R

FIND US ON

I X

from the

women

power

I L I K E D I F F E R E N T. I am different. I think different is what makes

the world go round. But I didn’t always feel this way. In fact, in my tweens and early teens, I would have rather read 50 Shades of Grey to my grandmother than stand out by marching to the beat of my own drum.

So as you can imagine, I spent a great deal of my youth trying to change myself to fit in with the crowd. Thankfully I eventually realized how utterly exhausting that was and found friends who accept me for who I am and don’t seem to mind that I love words and can spend hours thumbing through a thesaurus soaking them in; that my favorite part of a chicken is the cartilage on the bone that I will chomp with great intensity; that I compulsively talk with my hands and spill everything placed within my gesture radius; that I keep a book in my bag just in case I decide that it would be better company; or that I am quite the introvert and will often sneak away to a quiet corner of a social event with said book and rejuvenate in my aloneness for a while.

Because I have always been a zigger instead of a zagger, I’m a big proponent of diversity and accepting differences of all kinds—in schools, in churches, in families, in the workplace, you name it. So it came as quite the surprise to me when my son pointed out recently that when it came to diversity of thought, I was a little behind the eight ball. He made this observation during a discussion we were having on current events in which he began to vociferously disagree with my opinion. Upon hearing his rejection of my ideas, I cut him off in midsentence and scolded, “I’m certain I raised you to be annoyed by the same things that annoy me!” His response was to use my own words against me by retorting, “I’m certain you taught me to think for myself.”

I knew he had me. I knew there was absolutely nothing I could say in response. Yet still, the need to convince him that he should think the way I do was so strong that the self-control I had to harness to keep my mouth shut required a long nap afterwards.

As much as I want my ideas “to win,” I’m also aware that I should stay neutral when faced with opposing points of view. Yes, it is difficult for me to watch my son march to his own drum by believing in things that drive me batty (I feel about as neutral as a volatile volcano bubbling just below the surface), but if I want him to be tolerant, accepting, and non-judgmental of my ideas and perspectives, then I have to show him that same courtesy. I’m going to have to work on my selfcontrol if I am to master this skill—or maybe just take a lot of naps. w

DANA NIETERS PUBLISHER

MARCH CONTRIBUTORS:

Cyndy Etler; Kelley Ireland; Michelle Love; Starr Miller; Shelly Quinn

CONTACT US:

704.895.6168

PO BOX 1000 | CORNELI US, NC | 28031

W W W. L A K E N O R M A N W O M A N . C O M

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ADS@LAKENORMANWOMAN.COM

Lake Norman Woman reserves the right to deny any advertisement or listing that does not meet Lake Norman Woman standards. Submissions are welcome but unsolicited materials are not guaranteed to be returned.

Lake Norman Woman assumes no responsibility for information, products, services, or statements made by advertisers or editorial contributors. An advertised special printed in this publication is subject to change without notice. All rights reserved. Reproduction in whole or in part without written permission from the publisher is prohibited.

breathe » live » thrive | carolinaasthma.com

There’s a reason for all this sneezin.’

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Call 704.372.7900 to schedule an appointment at one of our area office locations.

Pollen and Mold Levels

Pollen counts updated daily from Feb 15 - Nov. 15.

(Chart in ad for illustrative purposes only.)

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FEATURES

12

40

WOMEN ON THE MOVE

p

abigayl PANSINI

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2019

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LEADING THE WAY: Abigayl Pansini

18

HERE SHE IS: Lori Van Popering

34

COVER STORY: Marching To The Beat Of Her Own Drum

46

WOMAN TO WATCH: Nicole Rehfuss

58

SUCCESS STORY: Putting My Strength To Work

5 THINGS TO DO IN MARCH

44

SCENE WITH LKNW

60 MEMORABLE MOMENTS

contents march

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4 42

5 THINGS TO DO IN MARCH

ON THE COVER: ALYSSA JASTRZEBSKI OF NORTH CAROLINA WEIGHT & WELLNESS P H OTO G R A P H Y: CHELSEA BREN

58 kristen p

CURAN

home

18 lori

SELLING, DESIGNING, CLEANING, & FINANCING YOUR HOME

p

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48-54

VAN POPERING

FOOD 56

PHOTO: TONI LOVEJOY

Irish Guinness® Beer Stew

HOME 48

Selling Your House?

50

Marching To Your Own Design Budget

52

6 Things NOT To Store In Your Garage

54

New Awesome Mortgage Programs!

ANNUAL

bride guide

SELF 14

Live, Learn, Grow

16

Stop And Smell The Roses

62

MIND, BODY, SPIRIT: The Art Of Mindfulness

ROCK BAND Kids 7 - 18

20

LAKE NORMAN WOMAN BRIDE GUIDE

22

A NEW TWIST ON TYING THE KNOT

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MAKING YOUR DREAM WEDDING COME TRUE

32

WEDDING PLANNING TIMELINE

LIL PEEPS™ Kids age 3 - K

46 nicole p

REHFUSS

LIL ROCKERS Kids 7 - 8

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LKNW FEATURE

leading

the way As we rise into leadership roles, it’s not always easy to navigate the leadership path. After all, there are as many leadership traits as there are leaders. LKN Woman talks to area leaders in the hope that we can learn from each other’s successes and failures in confronting leadership challenges.

ABIGAYL PANSINI, Owner, Lake Norman Language Academy

Leadership skills, at least in the corporate world, are often measured by the numbers on an organization’s balance sheet.

But for Abigayl Pansini, the founder and owner of Lake Norman Language Academy, the mark of a successful leader has much less to do with assets and liabilities and much more to do with how a leader makes people feel.

That is why, when Abigayl enters the classroom, she greets each and every student with a hug. “I love the camaraderie built between the students in the group classes,” Abigayl explains. “We laugh, share our stories, and speak Spanish….I love the feeling that we are like family.”

Abigayl, who is originally from Peru, teaches Spanish in adult group classes, children’s classes, and private sessions, and holds summer camps for children. She also has five other instructors who teach French, Portuguese, Chinese, German, and ESL in private settings. Regardless of the type of class, though, Abigayl’s goal is to create a relaxed setting for students so that they’ll have the optimal environment in which to learn. “Adults, and teenagers to some degree, too, have preconceptions that it is hard to learn a new language,” she notes. “It’s my job to remind them not to give up and to give them the tools they need. When the material is explained to them in an easier way, many times with songs, analogies, and in a relaxed setting, they are able to understand and build the confidence needed to succeed in class.”

H E R DE F I N I T ION OF LEADERSHIP:

"

A leader is someone who inspires and motivates others, who is honest, and who truly cares about others."

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FIRST LEADERSHIP POSITION: General

And though Abigayl takes her responsibilities to her students of all ages very seriously, for her, teaching others her native language is much more than a job—it’s a calling. That’s no surprise to Abigayl’s students; her zeal and passion for her language not only come through loud and clear, they are contagious. Says Abigayl: “If you love what you do, you project it, and the other person will feel it too!” w

IN MY DOWNTIME: I read

manager/founder of Contact Tours, a travel agency in Peru

spiritual books or lie down with my husband and my dog to watch a good movie

I WISH I HAD MORE TIME TO: Read the Bible and

BIGGEST WORK PET PEEVE: Poor customer

spiritual books

service

LAST THING YOU RESEARCHED ON THE INTERNET: Scholarships

for college. My son will attend college this year.

HOW WOULD YOUR HIGH SCHOOL TEACHERS DESCRIBE THE YOUNGER YOU: inquisitive and

analytical

DESCRIBE YOURSELF USING THREE WORDS:

God & family oriented

WRITER DANA NIETERS

PHOTOGRAPHER CHELSEA BREN

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LIVE, LEARN,

WHAT DOES NOT KILL US MAKES US STRONGER. FOR NICOLE REHFUSS, THIS EXPRESSION

ISN’T JUST A CLICHÉ.

WHEN FACED WITH

Life takes practice! And though they don’t always come wrapped in a shiny red bow, the lessons we learn along the

" SOMEONE I

LOVED ONCE GAVE ME A

BOX FULL OF

DARKNESS. IT

TOOK ME YEARS

TO UNDERSTAND

THAT THIS TOO, WAS A GIFT.”

way are invaluable gifts that are worth sharing. Here are a few learned by some of the women featured in this issue:

LIFE’S CHALLENGES, SHE HAS LEARNED THE IMPORTANCE OF RESILIENCE, A

WILLINGNESS TO TRY AND LEARN, AND

GRATITUDE FOR THE DON’T PANIC!

After years of stressing out and big ugly cries when things went wrong, Starr Miller has learned to not only accept, but be excited about, the Plan B’s in her life.

See how Starr marches to her own drum on page 50.

MARY OLIVER

CHOOSE HAPPY. Read about how

our cover girl, Alyssa, found a healthy balance between personal, professional, and family life and learned to focus on what makes her truly happy (page 34).

+

YOU CAN’T POUR FROM AN EMPTY CUP.

Too often women neglect their own health while they busily do for others. Flip to page 18 to see what a local holistic health practitioner says was her biggest challenge in facing, and overcoming, her own health crisis.

Summer

LESSONS LEARNED,

EVEN WHEN THEY’RE

LEARNED THE HARD WAY (page 46).

LET IT GO. Kelley Ireland

has discovered that cancer is not just the uncontrolled multiplication of damaged cells—it comes in other forms as well. “Harboring anger is a cancer that not only does nothing to solve the issue,” she explains, “it destroys the person it is controlling.” Turn to page 48 to see Kelley’s lessons put into action as she shares her expertise with us. w

WATER FRONT

Robinson Tabor 19 years of Real Estate Experience

704-502-2352

LakeNormanSummer@aol.com

www.SummerTabor.com

2316 Grey Road, Davidson $569,000 Lovely home on almost 2 acres. 2 master suites on the main level. Formal dining, Office, 2 story Great Room, Den with wet bar, Screened Porch with Hot Tub. Four bedrooms, 3.5 baths.

Chicken coups & Storage Building. Just down the road from Downtown Davidson.

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233 Fernbrook Drive, Mooresville $649,000 Waterfront home on Lake Norman. Full brick home with finished basement. Private boat dock.

Master on the main. Tons of space with almost 4200 sqft. Five bedrooms, three baths. Deck off the back. Walk to Lake Norman Elementary.

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self They love the Now.

STOP and SMELL

the Roses …

5 TRAITS OF happy PEOPLE

Happy people know how to live in the moment.

They do not dwell on the past nor worry about the future but instead focus on enjoying what the present is offering. This is not to say they don’t learn from the past and prepare for the future, but it is done with the knowledge that today, this moment, is all that really matters.

They keep a sense of humor.

As Jimmy Buffett so joyfully sings, “If we couldn’t laugh, we would all go insane.” And happy people know this is paramount to living in this big ol’ goofy world! Never lose your sense of humor.

They have an attitude of gratitude.

Bad things happen to everyone, but instead of complaining about how things could have been, happy people reflect on everything they’re grateful for. Negative energy begets negative energy, so it is important to focus on the positives in your life and be truly grateful.

They have a strong circle of support.

FIRST AND FOREMOST,

BE healthy!

In order for your mind to be happy, your body has to be happy and that means eating right, exercising regularly, getting recuperative sleep, and drinking lots of water. What else do happy people do? Here are a few commonalities—

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It is important to surround yourself with positive, happy people who support you. Toxic energy that has penetrated someone’s personality is contagious, so protect yourself! You must distance yourself from those who bring negativity into your world.

They help others financially and otherwise.

Helping others actually releases the happy hormones oxytocin, serotonin, and dopamine.

According to a recent study, employees who helped others were 10 times more likely to be focused at work and 40 percent more likely to get a promotion. Research has also shown that spending money on other people makes you much happier than spending it on yourself. w

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FEATURE

here she is

lori

Lori Van Popering is the owner and holistic health practitioner at ANY LAB TEST NOW!® located in North Charlotte at 10106 Benfield Road, Suite 103 (704.665.5010) and in South Charlotte at 8318 Pineville-Matthews Road, Suite 708 (704.541.8115).

Visit www.anylabtestnow. com/charlotte for more information.

van popering How do you march to your own drum? I actually started my career in my father’s insurance agency, and I am still an agent holding four licenses. As such, I kept seeing people get sicker and sicker and taking more meds than ever. I knew there must be a better way and I wanted to make a difference. I went back to school over 11 years ago and received a degree in holistic health and a certification in integrative nutrition. I also purchased ANY LAB TEST NOW!® over a decade ago.

What inspires and encourages you? I came to

the world of holistic health due to my own health challenges.

Applying my knowledge to correct my own issues has been huge for me … it made me realize how much I appreciate the compliant patients who will do what they need to do in order to improve their circumstances.

Seeing changes in people’s lives and watching them take care of themselves with enthusiasm and self-love—that keeps me motivated!

HOMETOWN: HUNTERSVILLE

LKN TOWN:

HUNTERSVILLE

HOUSEHOLD:

HUSBAND TOM; GIANT SCHNAUZER, AMOS, A N D M I N I AT U R E SCHNAUZER, TUCKER

i am an LKNw oman because…

“I was born and raised in the Lake Norman area and went to North Mecklenburg High School as did my parents and my two children. So, our family runs as deep as the lake here!”

And toot your own horn? The proudest

moment for me was when I was baptized, and of course when my children and grandchildren were born! Professionally, I am proud of my education and my business … and I smile large and feel so proud when someone tells me “you truly made a difference in my life.”

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As a successful LKN woman, what advice do you have for others? Self-

care is a must! I see it every day in my practice—women want to “do it all” and I’ve seen, even in myself, that sometimes we put ourselves last on the list.

My favorite saying is “you can’t pour from an empty cup.” And when it comes to starting a business, absolutely know what you are getting into and keep overhead as low as possible when starting out. Speak to other people who have jumped in before you and get their feedback … work hard, stay positive, and love yourself! w WRITER LESLIE OGLE

PHOTOGRAPHER CHELSEA BREN

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SPECIAL ADVERTISING SECTION

Bride lake norman

an exclusive local guide

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{ LKNW BRIDE guide } © Savina Nataliia | Dreamstime.com

Instead of an expensive wedding cake that often provides more leftovers than anything else, have an ice cream sundae bar. If you’re familiar with modern-day yogurt shops, you know that the choices of toppings and edible accoutrements are endless … perfect for wedding-themed creativity—from heart-shaped brownie bites to bits of cheesecake or even small candies that have the couple’s name printed on them.

HAVE YOUR GUESTS WRITE DOWN A FEW OF THEIR FAVORITE SONGS ON THEIR RSVP CARDS TO HELP COMPILE THE MUSIC LIST FOR THE RECEPTION; IT IS A GREAT WAY TO PERSONALIZE THE PARTY.

A bit of fabric from your mother’s or grandmother’s wedding gown is a touching way to add elegance and charm.

If you can’t actually wear it, use parts of it for your garter or incorporate some of the lace into your bouquet or veil.

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If you are going to use a personal note on them, so when Aunt Joan picks up her place card, she will get to read a loving tribute from you.

PLACE CARDS, write

A NEW TWIST ON

tying the knot WEDDINGS CAN GET OUT OF HAND FAST! It’s so easy to get caught up in all the excitement when you start to plan your big day that sometimes you need to sit back, regroup, and decide on what really matters—the wedding that is right for YOU. YOU The average cost of a wedding in 2018 was more than $33,000, and if you decide on a destination wedding it can be even more expensive. The main goal, of course, is to enjoy this amazing day with family and friends; so with that in mind, here are some ideas that not only personalize your wedding, but keep it cost efficient as well:

You’d be amazed how easy it is to turn a barn into a magical wedding wonderland! With some simple, homemade décor and lots of white lights, you can create your perfect setting in your own backyard … or barnyard, whichever the case may be!

Carry your mother’s bouquet … or rather one designed to look the same.

Give your florist a photo and you’ve got something old AND something new.

For more information on planning your big day, visit www.bridalguide.com.

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{ LKNW BRIDE guide }

Dream wedding MAKING YOUR

COME TRUE

help with planning Planning a wedding isn’t all fun and games—and hiring a wedding planner is a way to ensure that the bride does not get overwhelmed. As Victoria Stallings of WILD DAISY EVENTS says, “We will take away the stress and bring on the fun!” Wild Daisy Events specializes in creating the weddings of their clients’ dreams by providing tools, friendly guidance, and wedding industry experience.

They offer various packages to fit any budget so that the happy couple can relax and enjoy their special day.

food & beverage It takes the cake!

P L A N N I N G A D R E A M W E D D I N G M E A N S putting extensive thought and effort into every minor detail. After all, it’s going to be a day to remember for the rest of the bride and groom’s lives so it needs to be as close to perfect as possible. We have compiled a list of indispensable planning tips and suggestions along with some of the best vendors, venues, and wedding professionals around the lake so that brides and grooms on their journey to their special day will find nothing but smooth sailing!

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SMALLCAKES in Huntersville will create the most delicious and gorgeous wedding cake designed with your wedding theme and budget in mind. And with an emerging trend to offer matching cupcakes for your guests, Smallcakes will create these perfect mini additions with their more than 250 specialty flavors.

the photographer & videographer

Laboratory Mill

the venue When it comes to smooth sailing, the CAROLINA GRACE is the best bet. It’s a beautiful, custom-built, 100-foot luxury yacht that accommodates groups from 10 to 150 guests, and with its heated upper deck it is perfectly suited for events year round. If the lovebirds prefer dry land, they’ll find the exact space they need at the CHARLES MACK CITIZEN CENTER

in Mooresville. Offering two outdoor settings and six distinctive ballrooms, the center has all that a couple needs for both the wedding ceremony and reception. Steeped in history and southern elegance, The Emerald Hill

the waterfront LABORATORY MILL is a 19th-century building that seamlessly blends the old with the new. Surrounded by lush woodlands and bordering the Catawba River, the historic site offers gorgeous hardwood flooring, exposed ductwork, and walls of windows that allow a flood of natural light and a picturesque backdrop for photos.

Gorgeous views can also be found at THE EMERALD HILL, a 65-acre farm with a beautiful pond and natural spring located in Hiddenite. Emerald Hill can accommodate up to 200 guests and offers brides and grooms three main packages that can be modified to fit any budget and needs. There are few settings as beautiful as the Smoky Mountains, so be sure and check out STONY BROOK CABINS, just a short drive away in Gatlinburg. Whether you’re looking for a romantic getaway or a destination wedding, Stony Brook has something for everyone, from cozy one-bedrooms to luxury cabins that will accommodate a large group.

Indigo Photography & Video

Videographer Shamus Coneys of

INDIGO PHOTOGRAPHY & VIDEO employs a modern,

fresh, and edgy style to capture every moment of the big day. But

who better to describe the power of Shamus’ work than a bride herself ? “Our wedding film by Shamus Coneys was a gorgeous, perfect representation of our day, full of laughter, joy and love!” The photographers of Indigo implement the same sentiment into their craft.

For example, post production work is thought to be just as important as the photography itself.

The happy couple, on their wedding day, are so much more than a collection of must-have shots. That’s why DAVID

EDWARDS PHOTOGRAPHY & VIDEOGRAPHY focuses on

capturing the timeless moments between the two of them as they unfold. And with 20 years of experience and a talented team, David Edwards promises to deliver not only a smooth and stress-free day, but photos that will turn a wedding album into a work of art.

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{ LKNW BRIDE guide } years combined experience in medical aesthetics, this team is ready to help solve your woes.

From the top of her head to the tips of her toes, a bride wants to feel confident and beautiful. That’s why SALUJA COSMETIC & LASER CENTER

offers Emsculpt®. With this 30-minute procedure, which requires no surgery and no downtime, brides-to-be can build muscle and burn fat, resulting in a slimmer silhouette on their wedding day.

NORTH CAROLINA WEIGHT & WELLNESS is also on your

side by offering state-of-the-art medical weight management solutions like SculpSure® and other general women’s health procedures.

Dr. McIlveen and his competent staff have decades of experience in preventative medicine, hormone therapy, medical aesthetics, and much more to keep your overall health on track.

Hampton's Men's Clothing

wedding day beauty

the groom In today’s day and age, the groom is no longer just an accessory to the bride.

He will want to be sharply dressed too, and HAMPTON’S MEN’S CLOTHING has everything the groom needs to look and feel his matrimonial best. With personal service and attention to detail, mother and son team Jan and Tyler Hampton will go out of their way to see that all the groomsmen get the best look and fit possible.

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Every bride wants to look and feel her best on her wedding day. After all, she will be the center of attention, so it’s important that she choose the right products and services for her prewedding beauty regimen. A good place to start is at the LKN FOUNTAIN OF YOUTH in Mooresville. Let your youth spring forth by putting yourself in the hands of this passionate group of specialists. Offering exciting, cutting-edge solutions for wrinkles, facial folds, lax skin, cellulite, acne scars, brown spots, spider veins, hair loss, and more, they offer cosmetic enhancement through a variety of procedures that are affordable and pain free. With over 15

You want to look perfect on your wedding day, so why wouldn’t you want to have perfect vision as well? For brides who do not want to wear glasses or contacts on their big day, GRAYSTONE ILASEK provides the clarity, comfort, and freedom to enjoy (and see!) your special day. GRAYSTONE AESTHETIC CENTER can also help the bride-to-be get rid of that “I ♥ Justin Bieber” tattoo she somehow came home with after a raucous spring bring in Key West. Plus it offers terrific skin rejuvenation and laser hair removal packages, too.

happily ever after After the perfect wedding, the perfect reception, and the perfect honeymoon, there are impactful money decisions the newlyweds need to consider once they’ve gone from “me” to “we.” One of those decisions involves how to protect each other through traumatic and life-changing events. KENT PIKE HEALTH MARKETS can tailor a life insurance policy that meets those needs.

congratulations from

LAKE NORMAN WOMAN

Visit our Facebook page for more wedding resources & tips this month!

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{ LKNW BRIDE guide }

wedding

Wedding planning is stressful.

Use this as a general guideline & also check off all necessities!

PLANNING timeline 9-12+ MONTHS BEFORE

6+

MONTHS BEFORE

3+

MONTHS BEFORE

pick your wedding party

meet with your preferred caterers

book the rehearsal dinner venues

hire a wedding planner

purchase your dress

start hair & makeup trials

reserve your date & venues

reserve a block of hotel rooms

arrange transportation

research & book vendors

2

MONTHS BEFORE

for out-of-town guests

1

MONTH BEFORE

purchase rings

1

WEEK BEFORE

send invitations

start recording RSVPs

set a timeline for the bridal party

check-in with all vendors

get your marriage license

break in your shoes!

create family shot list

start seating arrangements

send a finalized guest list to

for photographer

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have your last dress fitting

your caterer & venue

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s s a p m o C F O T A E B E H T O M A R C HING T

rd. Seriously, ree: change is ha ag l al n ca e w hich two hundred ce, a topic on w That’s four billion ing change of pa 0. sh 00 0, fre re 00 a 0, r 24 fo , 4, w ? nd no any hits come up nce sphere. e math-and-scie You know how m . th se in l ra ce ph ex at t th n’ e es Googl yone else who do us artists, and an of l al r fo n io ill and forty m

A

What kind of change is hardest?

Say it with me now: weight loss. The phrase “how to lose weight” brings up a whopping 770,000,000 Google hits. If you’re a person who is skilled with change and weight loss, you’re some kind of superhero. If you’re a person, like Alyssa Jastrzebski, who is not only skilled with change, and a master of weight loss techniques, but is also a math-and-science person and an artist? Forget about it. You’re the master of the universe.

Let’s study the master’s trajectory to see if we can learn something. Like so many of us here in the Lake Norman area, Alyssa started somewhere else.

She was born in New York, then moved with her family, right before high school, to South Carolina.

Unlike so many of us, she knew the field of study she wanted to pursue

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from a young age was medical science. She earned a bachelor’s degree in nursing, then a master’s of science in nursing.

In case you’ve never tried, earning a science degree is hard. At least it’s hard for mere mortals. But Alyssa

is no mere mortal. Want proof?

Between earning her bachelor’s and her master’s, she worked as a registered nurse in a neonatal intensive care unit, caring for the terminal health of newborn infants.

In her spare time, she did both oil paintings—a love she has cultivated since elementary school—and sculpture. Is it just me, or do the rest of us balance our stressful careers with weekends at the mall … or better yet, the bar?

The next change in Alyssa’s life came after graduate school, when she moved into family medicine. Finally, she discovered a field that allowed her to combine her love of science and her love of art: aesthetic medicine.

The beauty of the Lake Norman area, as well as the warmth of its people, is one of the reasons Alyssa was

WRITER CYNDY ETLER

PHOTOGRAPHER CHELSEA BREN

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delighted to move here in 2012 when her husband got a new job.

She believes it’s the ideal place to raise children; her son Mason is nearly 3 and her daughter, Ava, will be 1 in July. Fur babies round out the family with two Pomeranians, Teddy and Bentley.

Alyssa’s varied work experience has molded her approach to patient care, and we Lake Norman residents are the lucky recipients of that care at North Carolina Weight & Wellness in Cornelius.

In the neonatal unit, she learned lessons about the value of life and comforting family in times of strife.

Then, working in family practice, she found the rewards of helping people improve their overall health and well-being. As the practice’s nurse practitioner, she is thrilled to help patients develop their lifelong health goals … and even more thrilled to celebrate the successes of their journey.

“I personally evaluate and treat patients,” she says, “based on their

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individual goals and what is best for their overall health and wellbeing.” The treatments she offers span a wide range, from weight management, to primary care, to gynecological concerns, to aesthetics including micro-needling and injectables like Botox and Xeomin, to dermal fillers. She uses cuttingedge technologies— bioelectrical impedance analysis, platelet rich plasma injections, vortex effect HydraFacials, and body contouring lasers—which are clearly the domain of the super-superhero.

Whatever her patients’ concerns and needs, Alyssa’s care for them reflects her philosophy, “Treat others as you would like to be treated.” She prioritizes kindness and respect in her work and her life … and she has found kindred spirits in her role at North Carolina Weight & Wellness. “I am honored,” she says, “to be a part of this practice with Dr. McIlveen and his family, who show true compassion for their patients.

Whatever her patients’ concerns and needs, Alyssa’s care for them reflects her philosophy, “TREAT OTHERS AS YOU WOULD LIKE TO BE TREATED.” This approach ensures that their patients feel like family. “Discussing weight is very personal,” Alyssa says. “It can be a big step for patients to reach out for help in this area.” For her and the entire staff, collaborating with folks on weight loss is highly rewarding. “We are not just changing a number on the scale,” she says. “Patients build self-esteem, self-love, and are able to improve or even reverse chronic diseases.” Those four billion two hundred and forty million people who posted online about how hard it is to change? They must not know about Alyssa and North Carolina Weight & Wellness. Poor mortals.

Should we clue them in, or should we keep it our own little Lake Norman secret? Meet me at the bar this weekend. We’ll discuss. w

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women on the

move NIA BROWN is the owner of PrincessMe, North Carolina’s first spa and party bus for kids as well as a PrincessMe store front, located at 9739 Northlake Centre Pkwy in Charlotte. In addition, Nia provides young girls with homework help, selfesteem programs, and anti-bullying activities on a weekly basis.

CRISTINA GROSSU, broker/ realtor at Realty ONE Group Select, was voted one of Charlotte’s “Rising Stars” in Charlotte Real Producers Magazine and The Charlotte Observer. She was also voted #1 in Social Media of Realtors in Charlotte for 2018 and was accepted into the 2019 William C. Bass Leadership Academy for North Carolina Realtors.

LIZ FACKELMAN, owner and professional organizer with Davidson Organizing, LLC, is now an independent consultant with TruAura Beauty. TruAura is the only company offering skincare products and cosmetics that are anti-aging AND clean AND micro-biome friendly with prebiotics and probiotics. All ingredients are approved by Environmental Working Group.

CHERI LOFQUIST has joined Chantel Ray Real Estate as their newest broker. The Virginia-based agency expanded to Davidson recently, officially opening their doors on October 1st of 2018.

CONNECT Whether you are a woman on the move, looking WITH US! for events, new businesses in the area, or are willing to contribute your opinion, follow us by visiting www.facebook.com/lakenormanwoman or e-mail leslie@lakenormanwoman.com.

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calendar

5 THINGS AN LKN

OMAN SHOULD DO IN MARCH

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SAT., MARCH 16SUN., MARCH 17

16TH ANNUAL ST. PATRICK’S DAY CELEBRATION

SUNDAY, MARCH 3

6TH ANNUAL SIP & SEEK BRIDAL SHOW

An intimate setting for couples and vendors to meet while enjoying complimentary wine, food, and door prizes. Door prizes will be drawn every half hour.

Enjoy the area’s largest block party with Irish dancers, bagpipers, games, contests, food for every palate, live music, and DJs throughout the day.

$5 admission / 1pm-4pm Historic Rural Hill / 4431 Neck Rd. / Huntersville

11am-2am each day Galway Hooker / 17044 Kenton Dr. / Cornelius

More information: www.ruralhill.net

More information: www.galwayhookerpub.com

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SAT., MARCH 16-SUN., MARCH 17

7TH ANNUAL LATTA CELTIC CELEBRATION

Celebrate all things Celtic with live music, food and beer vendors, arts and crafts vendors, historic Celtic warriors, heritage demonstrations, story times, dancing, and much more!

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THURSDAY, MARCH 21

LIVE THE GOOD LIFE HEALTH FAIR Bring your questions for the professionals and visit 80+ vendors. Various screenings offered. Open to the public. Lots of door prizes!

Free Admission / 10am-2pm Charles Mack Citizen Center / 215 N. Main St. / Mooresville More information: www.mooresvillenc.org

$10 Admission / 10am-4pm each day Historic Latta Plantation / 5225 Sample Rd. / Huntersville

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More Information: www.lattaplantation.org

© Arne9001 | Dreamstime.com

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SATURDAY, MARCH 30

2019 SPRING FOOD TRUCK RALLY

There will be more than 15 food trucks with all kinds of food specialties, plus craft beer and local wine, live music, and plenty of family fun. $5 parking.

Free Admission / 4pm-8pm Historic Rural Hill / 4431 Neck Rd. / Huntersville More Information: www.ruralhill.net

© Andrey Popov | Dreamstime.com

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Scene WITH

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The Lake Norman Compounding Pharmacy team gather for their ribbon-cutting ceremony in January.

BE SCENE LAKE NORMAN WOMAN is getting out and about each month, looking for great events and the fabulous and exciting Lake Norman people who are making them happen!

So next time you’re at a chamber event, a new business in the area, or just out having fun, look for Lake Norman Woman and our camera.

Who knows, you just might find yourself in next month’s

LKNW editor Leslie Ogle welcomes new Gatlinburg advertisers Stony Brook Cabins—President Pamela Hill, right, and guest services manager Diane Barnard, left.

LKNW’s Michele with Dr. Brittany Flaherty, owner of Monocle Eye Care And Eyewear Gallery in Cornelius

“SCENE WITH LAKE NORMAN WOMAN!”

View more

Scene photos

on our Facebook page at: Lake Norman Woman

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Lucy McIlveen of NC Weight & Wellness with LKNW’s Stephanie at their grand opening ribbon-cutting event.

Michelle Love (far right), LKNW contributing writer and founder of the Stand Firm Warrior Foundation, donated $10,000 to Levine Children’s Hospital Pediatric Hematology and Oncology Center as part of the Comprehensive Wellness Center’s initiative.

Hopewell Presbyterian Church invites you to join us:

Help us create a new worship experience‌See you at The Well!

For more information visit hopewellpresbyterian.com or call our office: (704) 875-2291 10500 Beatties Ford Rd

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FEATURE

woman to watch on FINDING LOVE (AGAIN):

My husband, Stuart, and I are college sweethearts from Michigan State University. We met in the dorms and, for the record, I asked him out on our first date! We slowly grew apart after three years of dating. He moved to North Carolina, and I went south to Buckeye-land to pursue my career in retail. Seven years later, I called him to say hello, and the rest is history. We fell in love again, got married, and have two sons and a daughter – Benjamin (13), Miles (11), and Emery (9). With our kids and two Vizsla puppies, our life is full of chaos!

on BUILDING A CAREER:

I have spent half of my life defining and designing consumer experiences for retail, restaurants, and hospitality. To say retailing is my “muse” is an understatement! I have always longed to do something on my own. My college sorority sister founded PAINT Nail Bar in Sarasota in 2015, and after a year she announced that she was franchising the concept. From the moment I walked into PAINT Sarasota, I felt this indescribable energy that you cannot get from great design alone. The camaraderie of the staff and owners was unlike any other nail salon I have experienced. In the first five minutes of my visit, I knew this was something I wanted to be a part of.

on GROWTH & SUCCESS:

I knew this decision to own PAINT would be life-changing for me, personally and professionally—and for all women (and men) seeking a luxury experience with cleaner and safer nail care products. We opened our first PAINT Nail Bar in Birkdale Village in September 2018, and we will be opening a second PAINT at Atherton (South End) later this year.

nicole rehfuss PAINT NAIL BAR Huntersville

on LEARNING LIFE LESSONS:

nicole

REHFUSS

LKNW RECOGNIZES A WOMAN DOING EXCEPTIONAL WORK IN THE

L A K E N O R M A N C O M M U N I T Y, A L E A D E R W H O I S PA V I N G T H E W AY T O

I live by “what doesn’t kill us makes us stronger.”

Whether faced with life’s many challenges, taking risks, or living a life full of spontaneity, you always have to be resilient, open to learning, willing to try, and be gracious for the lessons learned along the way. Once you take even the smallest step out of your comfort zone, you will be amazed at what exists out there! w Nicole Rehfuss is the owner of PAINT Nail Bar Charlotte located at 8712 Lindholm Drive, Suite 100, in Huntersville.

You can reach her at 704-343-8400 or visit their website at PaintNailBar.com.

C H A N G I N G O U R AT T I T U D E S A N D I N S P I R I N G C O N F I D E N C E I N T H E F U T U R E .

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WRITER MICHELLE LOVE

PHOTOGRAPHER CHELSEA BREN

50 Shades of Red with Dr. Eva Imperial

Topic: Let’s talk about sex — this isn’t your 1980s health ed class!

Join us for a FREE women’s only event.

Have a glass of wine and ask the doctor anything!

RSVPs required. Register at iredellhealth.org/women&wine

Thursday, March 21 • 6:30 - 8:30 pm at Four Corners Framing & Gallery 148 N. Main Street • Mooresville, NC

Primary Care for Women IredellPrimaryCare.com 980.435.0406

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home

selling your house?

I GET ASKED MANY INTERESTING QUESTIONS ONCE SOMEONE

knows I am in the real estate business because, let’s face it, we all have an inner real estate nerd in us! We all either own or rent, so there is universal intrigue in the real estate market, values, and how to capitalize when we sell our own property. When asked to write an article about a segment of my industry that would be of value to folks, it was overwhelming for me to select just one category.

So, I asked a couple of friends what topic they would like to see covered, and one suggestion was to address the best practices for showing your home while still living in it. With that said, here are a few things that come to mind:

Get rid of clutter and personal “stuff.”

Clutter distracts a buyer and makes them focus on that instead of the house for sale.

Wedding and family pictures make buyers feel like they are intruding in someone else’s home. You want the buyer to envision the home as theirs, so pack up anything too personal and other unnecessary items. You can store boxes neatly in the garage or send off to a storage facility while you’re showing.

Open the blinds and curtains.

Make the space light and bright with natural sun. Turn on lights and lamps as well. No one wants to walk into a dark, cave-like home.

Make it easy for buyers to see.

Yes, there are circumstances we need to work around, but the more rules you have, the less buyers will work around them to see your home. They will move on to others that aren’t so complicated. THIS IS HUGE!

L K N e x p e rt

Kelley Ireland is the broker-incharge and owner of Village Real Estate Group in Mooresville. You can reach Kelley at 704.517.2811 or at www.villagerealestategroup.com.

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Use air fresheners.

Smell is one of the very first senses used when walking into a home. A bad odor will instantly turn off a buyer and may overshadow their entire impression. Before showings, open the windows to air it out if needed. Use air fresheners, but don’t cover stinky dog smell with rose mist as it will smell like stinky dog with an overtone of rose mist! Use a scent eliminator before using scent enhancements. You get used to everyday smells in your home and can’t detect them, so ask a friend or your realtor for their take. Smoking (the deal-breaker more often than not!), cats and dogs, strong spicy foods, musty basements, and other odors need to be dealt with before showings.

WRITER KELLEY IRELAND

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home JUST RETURNED FROM A COMPANY INCENTIVE TRIP TO MAUI. EVERYTHING ON THIS TRIP WAS TOP RATE AND THEIR HOTEL ROOM WAS A.M.A.Z.I.N.G. NOW THEY ARE HOME AND ARE CONSIDERING THE SAME HOTEL BATH FOR THEIR OWN HOME.

l potentita clien

A:

FACTS: Their home is $350,000—to replicate that bathroom is an $80,000 proposition.

VALUE QUESTIONS: Should they do it? Do they care that their home (with this bath) will outprice the neighborhood if they proceed?

Will they go into debt to have the relaxing feeling they felt while on vacation? Are they planning to stay in this home for at least the next 10 years?

VALUE DECISION: Go for the bath, take out a loan, and even add a few extras. Final cost is $95,000. What we don’t know when they make this decision is that the healing nature of the bath is extremely important due to unseen medical issues.

HAS TRAVELED THE WORLD AND DONE VERY WELL IN LIFE. SHE IS BUILDING A HOME WORTH $5 MILLION AND IS CONSIDERING WHAT HER FURNISHINGS BUDGET WILL BE.

Marching to Your Own

DESIGN BUDGET

Assumptions are rarely true. No better is this revealed than when you ask someone what their budget is for their design project. The thing most often misunderstood about budgets is that everybody has one—even if they say “the sky is the limit,” their view of the sky and the next person’s view is vastly different. (Think ant and bird!) A budget is based on an individual’s value system. For instance: L K N e x p e rt

Starr Miller is the president and principal of StarrMiller Interior Design located in Cornelius. Her national award-winning firm specializes in residential new construction and renovations. For more information visit www.starrmiller.com or call 704-896-3321.

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B:

INDUSTRY BUDGET GUIDELINES: Furnishings budget is typically 25-40% of the cost of the home. Which would mean a $1,250,000 to $2,000,000 budget.

VALUE QUESTIONS: Does a large bank portfolio give her freedom to roam the world and not worry about the cost? How close is she to retirement? Does a home designed to the nth degree (with grandchildren running in from the lake!) make sense?

VALUE DECISION: Spend $500,000 on furnishings and add to her home when she runs across something she loves while traveling. Concentrate on main areas and reuse furnishings from her last home in secondary areas.

These two scenarios show that we can never assume anything based on someone’s budget or their assumed wealth. How you value money is as unique as your fingerprint.

Always remember, what you want to do is up to you. A design professional will tell you if your budget is large enough to do what you envision. They will even tell you if your budget is such that you are better off working on your own. The key is to get professional advice and … march to your own drum! w WRITER STARR MILLER

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home

We all have a little

hoarder and a little organizer in us—so

it’s easy for a garage

to turn into a catchall place to store oh so many things! But

some common items

do NOT belong in your garage and can even be hazardous.

Here are a few redflag items:

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GAS CANS & PROPANE TANKS pose a leak risk, and fuel of any kind just does not belong in your garage. If you store any fuel in the garage, experts at www.statefarminsurance.com recommend that you do so “only in dedicated, leak-proof containers out of the reach of children and pets and away from potential sources of ignition such as water heaters or power tools. A shed away from your home is a better storage spot.”

It may be handy to store your boots, shoes, sweaters, and coats in the garage but a sealed container in the back of a closet, in the attic, or even in the basement is a better storage option.

CLOTHING (fabric, leather, suede) has a tendency to absorb fumes and dust, and insects, other pests, and mold LOVE them!

CHECK LABELS OF PAINT and other homeimprovement products to make sure they don’t need to be stored in a temperature-controlled environment. Latex, for example, freezes at the same temperature as water.

NO FOOD means no food!

All types of vermin will be after perishable items, and canned foods/drinks may spoil more quickly in the temperature extremes of a garage. And food for thought: think twice about putting a second fridge or freezer in an unheated/unair-conditioned garage. Appliances struggle to operate efficiently as temperatures fluctuate, which can send your power bill soaring!

Garages often have extreme swings in heat and humidity, so FURNITURE is likely to deteriorate—woods warp; fabrics mold; cushions and mattresses become home to critters. If the garage is your only option, wrap in plastic and keep it elevated.

PHOTOGRAPHS, ARTWORK, ELECTRONICS, or any of your “valuables” need climate control.

Tip for the day: If the item is something you can’t bear to see damaged or destroyed, it should not be in the garage.

For more household tips, visit www.familyhandyman.com.

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home D R U M

R O L L

P L E A S

NEW

AWESOME

Mortgage Programs!

Many changes are rolling out for 2019 in the mortgage world.

So what is new you ask? Here are some of the changes that I think will affect consumers the most:

Several new programs are coming that are directed toward specific needs, such as the self-employed borrower income qualification. A 24-month bank E statement program is now available, in which income is analyzed based on deposits made from your business transactions; therefore, you no longer have to use the adjusted income after expenses that is shown on the tax returns. This will be a huge help for qualifying many local small business owners.

…

Down payment programs are very helpful to the young firsttime home buyers who may have the income but have not saved a large amount yet for their down payment.

There is a new program that is 100% financing with no mortgage insurance, which can be very helpful under the right circumstances, so ask your mortgage lender if it’s right for you.

Rates have gone up some but they are still very good, and the economy is stronger as well.

Home appreciation has been great in the Lake Norman Area so don’t rent – buy! If you are renting, you are paying someone’s mortgage so get the tax advantages that home ownership provides and start acquiring equity in your investment.

In order to obtain the best rate, you must build a strong credit record and score. A good mortgage lender will assist you with knowing what you need to do to increase or maintain good credit. Credit scores are used for qualifying for loans, insurance, and even jobs. Check your credit reports at least once a year so that you can be sure it is accurate, review how they are scoring you, and make adjustments where necessary.

Homeowners insurance is also something you want to stay on top of since that is tied to your home payment. A good agent will review your insurance coverage with you annually so that you know if you need more coverage or if you qualify for any discounts.

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As life changes occur, your insurance needs change as well. Whether you are buying or refinancing, it is always best to get with an experienced lender who can navigate you through the mortgage process.

A mortgage check-up is essential for homeowners to be sure that they are in the best product and rate.

Your mortgage should be a tool to help you manage your home, which is often your largest asset, and a good lender can assist with reviewing your current circumstances.

Regardless of where you are in your life— change in marital status, birth of a child, becoming an emptynester, or downsizing for retirement—your mortgage lender should help you through these pivotal life events. w

L K N e x p e rt

Shelly Quinn is the branch manager at Silverton Mortgage located at 9525 Birkdale Crossing Drive, Suite 203, in Huntersville. You can reach Shelly at 704.609.1339 or at ShellyQuinn@SilvertonMortgage.com.

WRITER SHELLY QUINN

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food

Irish Guinness Beer Stew ®

While there are many versions of this traditional recipe, nothing beats a good bowl of stew on a cool afternoon. Enjoy this easy recipe during March Madness or for your St. Patrick’s Day party!

3 tbsp olive oil

1 large onion, chopped

4 carrots peeled and cut 1/2” pieces

3 garlic cloves, minced

2 potatoes peeled and cut into 2” pieces

1 tsp salt

3 tbsp flour

1/2 tsp black pepper

22 oz Guinness® beer

3 leeks

2 cups beef broth

3 sprigs thyme or sub with 1 tsp dried thyme leaves

2 lbs lamb shoulder or beef chuck cut into 2-inch chunks

INSTRUCTIONS 1. Peel and cut up carrots

and potatoes, mince garlic.

Trim root end off leeks, strip off tough greens. Cut leeks lengthwise and rinse any grit off under water. Slice into 1/2” pieces. Cut the lamb into 2” chunks. Pat dry and sprinkle with salt and pepper.

2. Heat 2 tablespoons of oil in a

Dutch oven or heavy-based pot over high heat. Add lamb in batches and brown well all over. Remove to plate and repeat with remaining lamb. Set aside.

Source: https://thestayathomechef.com/irish-stew

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3. Lower heat to medium and add

remaining tablespoon of olive oil.

4. Add onion and leek, cook for 3 minutes

until softened, then add garlic, cook 2 minutes. Stir flour into the vegetable mixture and cook for 3 more minutes.

5. Add Guinness beer, stirring and

scraping up browned bits on bottom of pan then add beef broth.

6. Return browned lamb to the pot,

including any juices, along with carrots, potatoes, and thyme tied with kitchen twine.

7. If lamb and vegetables are not fully covered

add enough water to do so. Cover, bring to a boil, stir, then lower heat so it is bubbling gently. Cook 2 hours then remove lid and simmer for a further 30 minutes until lamb falls apart and the sauce has reduced and thickened.

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FEATURE

success story

Family is something that Kristen doesn’t take for granted. She is engaged to Mitchell Bowers, a former U.S. Marine who now works as a gunsmith and lives in Cornelius. They met while waiting tables in college. She has a 7-year-old daughter, Ava, and a soon-to-be stepdaughter who is 11. “We also have two rescue dogs, a golden retriever mix named Finley, and Layla, a black Labrador mix.”

kristen curan Carolina Oral & Facial Surgery CORNELIUS, NC

PUTTING MY

Strength TO WORK

at Carolina Oral & Facial Surgery in Cornelius, was born in York, Pennsylvania, but raised in Mooresville. Her family relocated often due to her father’s job. “We settled in the Lake Norman area, and I even stayed here for college …

I think I’ve relocated enough in my lifetime,” she laughs.

Kristen graduated from UNC Charlotte in 2011 with a bachelor’s of science in biology.

KRISTEN CURAN, PRACTICE ADMINISTRATOR

For the past seven years, Kristen has lived with a chronic illness called Lyme disease. “It has been a daily struggle— from the moment of finding a diagnosis to learning how to be a successful working mother—when all I wanted to do was crawl into bed and hide,” she admits. When Kristen read this quote, it motivated her to pick herself up and put her strength to work: “We all have an unsuspected reserve of strength inside that emerges when life puts us to the test.” Her ordeal provided a new perspective, and she

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lists three things she learned: 1) Don’t take your family for granted; 2) Learn to ask and accept help from your support system; and 3) Do what makes you happy and enjoy life to the fullest.

“I started my career,” Kristen continues, “straight out of college working as a practice administrator for Performance Rehab Associates, formerly LKN Pain Relief & Wellness Center.” Somewhere along the way, Dr. Coleman’s previous office manager challenged her to leave her comfort zone and enter the unfamiliar world of oral surgery. Looking back to that day, she exclaims, “I knew nothing about teeth and I was terrified!” Kristen has been with Carolina Oral & Facial Surgery for over five years and couldn’t be happier. “I instantly knew this is what I was meant to do,” she says. “My work is my happy place.” She credits their amazing team of staff and two doctors who treat everyone like family.

WRITER MICHELLE LOVE

Kristen says she is equally torn between the mountains and beach. “We spend our summer vacation at Ocean Isle where my daughter and I enjoy finding seashells with each morning’s sunrise.” Every year the family takes a fishing trip on the Intracoastal Waterway as well. “It always turns into a friendly family competition for the biggest catch,” she smiles.

If Kristen isn’t at the beach, then she is yearning for the cozy atmosphere of the mountains. “Asheville is one of my favorite places in the world,” she says. “The food, the craft breweries, the art, the waterfalls … it’s so amazing!”

Kristen knows the importance of putting her strength to work while spending time with family and being mindful of all the beauty in her life. She makes it a priority to live fully, using the mantra she developed while coping with her illness … let your inner strength emerge! w

PHOTOGRAPHER TONI LOVEJOY

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memorable

moments

2017

Lake Norman Woman’s March 2017 issue celebrated WOMEN’S HISTORY MONTH with a look back at the styles that rocked fashions in 1917.

2016 For a bit of “March Madness” fun, CHRIS DURANT

posed for our cover photo in our annual LKN Men! issue.

2014 KATHY SCOTT RUMMAGE

shared with our readers why her man, Abe, deserved to be named one of Lake Norman’s “Fantastic Husbands” of 2014.

2012

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ROBIN PERRIGO (Now Robin Perrigo Mermans) of Road to Resolution shared her story for the first time with our readers (Robin has been advertising for many years and is now not only a trained mediator, but also an attorney!).

2015 JULI SIMMONS, the woman behind Carolina Consult LLC, which is a distributor of Lake Norman Woman, gets caught by our cameras delivering the magazine.

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MIND body spirit By mixing the ingredients of attitude and action, we can change the flavor of our own lives. Learn to nurture your body and soul to lead a more balanced life.

Be aware of your actions.

{mindfulness

THE ART OF

Keep your focus purposeful.

If something needs your attention, make a conscious effort to dwell on that and that alone, but only for a specific period of time in solutionbased thought. Once you have a plan of resolution, move on.

Practice letting go of the past.

This can be difficult but it only breeds negative energy. The past is over and you cannot change it … let it go!

Avoid getting caught up in the future.

IT IS ALMOST HUMAN NATURE TO GET WRAPPED UP

in the past or worried about the future, and while this may be something we are “programmed” to do, practicing mindfulness can keep us loving and living the Now and has been scientifically proven to improve mental and physical health.

“Mindfulness,” says Psychology Today, “is a state of active, open attention on the present. When we are mindful, we carefully observe our thoughts and feelings without judging them as good or bad. Mindfulness can also be a healthy way to identify and manage hidden emotions that may be causing problems in our personal and professional relationships. It means living in the moment and awakening to our current experience, rather than dwelling on the past or anticipating the future.”

This practice, which dates back to the BC days in a lot of religions around the world, is preached by many to be the secret to living happily and healthily. Consider these insights to refocus and to live a more settled and contented life:

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Speak to people with forethought and intent; be cognizant of not only what you say but how you say it.

It’s perfectly fine to plan for your future but when those thoughts become all-consuming and turn to worry, you are not being in the present moment.

Allow yourself to do nothing.

Take time each day to just be still—sit outside and listen to nature; try to clear your mind and just breathe.

Let go of judgments and negative emotions.

Once you become present in the moment, you may begin to notice things you hadn’t before, such as others’ circumstances, needs, and nuances. Take this opportunity to really hear the person talking to you and appreciate it for what it is with no judgments, no rebuttal.

Recognize it’s not all rosebuds and butterflies.

It is important to embrace negative feelings as well. We are human after all, and we must recognize and appreciate what is not-so-pleasant at times. But negativity begets negativity, so it’s important to search for the positives in all situations. w

WRITER LESLIE OGLE

©Andybor | Dreamstime.com

B E T T E R M E … B E T T E R YO U … B E T T E R W O R L D

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