Medical Examiner 6-2-23

Page 1

MEDICALEXAMINER

ATTENTION: KIDS!

PARENTS!TEACHERS! NURSES!

If you fall into one of the four categories above, you have a unique opportunity to play a potentially life-saving role in preventing bullying. Parents, teachers and nurses often see things that others fail to notice. When it comes to bullying — for both perpetrators and victims — simply seeing means nothing unless action is taken in response.

CHRONIC CONDITION

What if I told you there is a hidden epidemic harming 1 in 3 school age children with the potential to:

• result in physical injuries

• cause lifelong psychological damage to their confidence, sense of self-worth, and personal dignity

• rob their childhood of innocence

• emotionally scar them for life

• lead to depression, drug use, and in extreme cases, suicide

What would you be willing to do to put an end to this pandemic?

What I am talking about is not a new disease, a dangerous new fad, or a new designer drug being smuggled in to our country. It is a very old problem that is often dismissed as a minor part of growing up for a very small minority of children. What is it?

Please see CHRONIC page 10

Taking action, curiously enough, is one of the strangest things about bullying: people quite often do absolutely nothing. It matters not if the setting is a schoolyard, a busy city street, or the offices of a Fortune 500 corporation. As illustrated by the photo on page 3, people frequently just watch from the sidelines. They do not get involved. They do not intervene. Their only physical response may be to take out their cell phone and start recording video. Not to forward to law enforcement, school officials or HR. No, just to share on social media.

Does it matter? Does intervention somehow short-circuit a child’s ability to defend him- or herself, leading to lifelong weakness? After all, “sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me.”

Not every old proverb is true, and the time-worn sticks-and-stones adage is one of the worst. It is a lie, pure and simple, as many victims of strictly verbal bullying can attest to years later.

Bullying can take many forms.

One definition states, “Bullying is a conscious, willful, deliberate, repeated and hostile activity marked by an imbalance of power, intent to harm, and/ or the threat of aggression.” It can be perpetrated by a single individual or a large group. Sometimes the group does nothing more than cheer on a lone bully, laughing at and jeering the victim while deliberately or inadvertently providing “moral” support to the bully.

The fact that bullying is by definition a form of abuse that takes place over a long period of time and involves preying on a victim viewed for whatever reason as weak adds

Please see BULLIES page 3

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EVERYONE HAS A STORY

PARENTHOOD

Your 4-year-old son, who has always been a generous and considerate child, has recently become very possessive. He has been refusing to share with anyone. You have been forcing him to share with other children, but this really upsets him. You are not sure that it’s the right thing to do. What do you do?

A. It’s just a phase young children go through. Ignore it.

B. Continue to force him to share and be firm about it. Unchecked, his actions may turn into lifetime personality traits, and it’s important to stop them now.

C. Put him in situations where sharing is necessary, like daycare, mothers’ day out, or Sunday school. With sharing being necessary, he will learn to do it more willingly and the problem will go away.

D. This is a phase that some children go through, but it shouldn’t be ignored. Encourage him to share and praise him when he does so willingly.

If you answered:

A. You are right that it is a phase, but how you deal with it is important. Ignoring it is not the answer. Encourage sharing and reward him when he does share.

B. Forcing him to share may eventually make him better at it, but not for the right reasons. You need to teach him to share because it is the right thing to do.

C. This may help, but it could also make the situation worse. The real answer is you teaching him to share because it is the right thing to do.

D. This is the best answer. This is a time when personality traits that will last a lifetime are being formed. He is likely to have a better life if he learns to share.

It is your responsibility as a parent to teach values and behaviors that will be useful throughout his life. Sharing, like honesty and compassion, is one of those values.

Dr. Proefrock is a retired local clinical and forensic child psychologist.

MEDICAL MYTHOLOGY

THOSE 10,000 STEPS

If you’ve heard that getting 10,000 steps per day is the recipe for optimal health, you may have wondered if it’s true or if it’s medical mythology.

As you may know, a Japanese company introduced a pedometer back in 1965 that they named (as translated into English) “10,000 steps meter.” The name was simply a marketing gimmick, but it caught on to the extent that all over the world nearly 60 years later people still view 10,000 steps as the gold standard for physical activity.

Even though the step count was dreamed up as a sales tool, that doesn’t necessarily mean it’s mythology. It could be true.

In May 2019 JAMA Internal Medicine published a study by a Harvard Medical School professor. She had already been studying physical activity and

health in older women, so she continued her research on the 10,000 step question with that same population.

16,741 women between the ages of 62 and 101 were included in the study, all of whom wore an activity monitor during waking hours for 7 days. After their activity was measured the women were followed for an average of 4.3 years in search of two long-term findings:

• were higher step counts associated with fewer deaths?

• did the intensity of the step count matter in terms of health? In other words, if one woman got 5,000 steps during a brisk power walk and another woman got her 5,000 steps a couple hundred at a time just puttering around the house, did the power walk woman enjoy more health benefits than the

woman who took all day to get her steps?

The answer to the second question first: all steps are created equal. There was no measurable benefit to power walking versus an equal number of steps taken a few at a time

As for the connection between steps and fewer deaths, within the confines of the specific population included in the study, compared to sedentary women there were 41% fewer deaths among women who averaged 4,400 daily steps. In fact, the more steps the women recorded the lower their mortality rates were, but the benefits leveled off at approximately 7,500 steps per day.

Granted, the scope of the study was fairly narrow, but it did suggest that cutting those 10,000 steps by 25% still offered worthwhile benefits.

Since the study also found that all steps matter, getting in extra steps all day long is a worthwhile pursuit. How? Take the stairs instead of the elevator. Park farther away from the store or office entrance. Bring in groceries a bag or two at a time instead of trying to haul in all 18 bags in a single trip.

Another step-count research finding: those 7,500 steps that represent a more realistic and reachable goal for many of us can offer their benefits even if we only reach them once or twice a week.

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to its despicable nature. Who are these little monsters and full-grown adults who choose to deliberately torture another human being for their own pleasure and entertainment?

It’s complicated. Some researchers have identified personality disorders as the cause, in plain English things like arrogance and narcissism, low self-esteem, depression, and inordinate pride which breeds envy and resentment of others. Studies have also identified family factors, best summarized as “bullies learn how to bully by being bullied at home.”

What can be done to stop bullies? Let’s start with parents. Make sure your children know they can talk to you if they’re being bullied. If they don’t mention it, ask them pointedly if they are being bullied, and do so on a regular basis. It’s not always easy to extract information. Note possible red flags like sudden personality changes or plummeting grades, and if it comes to light that your son or daughter is being bullied — or is a bully— take action. Talk to your child; get help; talk to people at their school.

Speaking of school, according to the Stop Bullying Now Foundation, only 25% of bullied students say teachers did anything to help. But in the same study, 71% of teachers say they do intervene. The message seems to be: if the in-

tervention isn’t enough for the student to know about or notice effects from, it’s probably inadequate. Don’t look the other way or assume kids will just work it out. The same admonition applies to nurses, whether in a clinical setting or at school. Bruises and frequent injuries with suspicious explanations are grounds for further investigation. Your school undoubtedly has a policy addressing bullying. Make sure it is being enforced.

Sadly, the consequences for failure to intervene can be severe. Bullying is a major factor in youth suicides. Even without bullying, suicide is a leading cause of death for the 15 to 24 age group. A quick internet search turns up absolutely heartbreaking stories of children, kids like Megan Meier (age 13), Ryan Halligan (13), Rebecca Ann Sedwick (12), Sladjana Vidovic (15), Amanda Todd (15), and many others who endured extreme physical and psychological torture until death was actually preferable to living

That leads us to address our final group. Kids, there is never an excuse for bullying. It is never ok. Tell your parents, tell your teachers. Keep telling them. Do everything you can to put a stop to the abuse. Help is available. Get it, and using that help, remember this: it will get better. You can reclaim your life. +

WHAT IS KRATOM?

Judging by the signs advertising kratom (KRAY-tum) popping up left and right, this stuff — whatever it is — might seem like it’s worth checking into.

But you might want to do it soon. Or not at all. Note the following: In 2016, the U.S. Drug Enforcement Administration (DEA) announced plans to classify kratom as a Schedule I controlled substance. Compounds in this category are said to have no currently accepted medical use and a high potential for abuse

What is a Schedule I controlled substance? The DEA’s website lists some examples: heroin, LSD, ecstacy, and peyote, among others. So kratom is in some very sketchy company indeed. Despite the DEA’s 2016 announcement, kratom is still unregulated in the U.S.

What is the stuff?

Kratom is the familiar name for a tree in the coffee family native to Southeast Asia and Africa. Traditional medicine in those parts of the world has long used various concoctions from kratom leaves to, at low doses, make users feel more energetic, and at higher doses, to relieve pain and bring on eurphoria. At still higher doses kratom acts as a sedative.

Because it acts on the same opioid receptors in the brain as drugs like heroin and oxycodone, doctors are concerned about kratom’s potential for addiction. Ironically, its interaction within the brain is same reason many people turn to kratom for help in overcoming opioid addiction.

The FDA has actively pursued kratom sellers who make specific claims about its benefits. In official language, it is illegal “to advertise that a product can prevent, treat, or cure human disease, including addiction to alcohol, nicotine, or drugs, unless you possess competent and reliable scientific evidence, including, when appropriate, well-controlled human clinical studies, substantiating that the claims are true at the time they are made.” That’s a direct quote from a letter the FDA sent to a major kratom-selling online store. There is currently no clinical evidence backing any specific claims of health benefits provided by kratom, and its unregulated status means that there are no standards for dosage or purity.

For the Mayo Clinic, at least, the assessment of kratom is simple: they call it “unsafe and ineffective.”

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MEDICALEXAMINER

AUGUSTAMEDICALEXAMiNER 3 JUNE 2, 2023 + BULLIES… from page 1 Opinions expressed by the writers herein are their own and/or their respective institutions. Neither the Augusta Medical Examiner, Pearson Graphic 365 Inc., nor its agents or employees take any responsibility for the accuracy of submitted information, which is presented for general informational purposes only. For specific medical advice, diagnosis, and treatment, consult your doctor. The appearance of advertisements in this publication does not constitute an endorsement of the products or services advertised. © 2023 PEARSON GRAPHIC 365 INC. www.AugustaRx.com The Medical Examiner’s mission: to provide information on topics of health and wellness of interest to general readers, to offer information to assist readers in wisely choosing their healthcare providers, and to serve as a central source of salubrious news within every part of the Augusta medical community. AIKEN-AUGUSTA’S MOST SALUBRIOUS NEWSPAPER Direct editorial and advertising inquiries to: Daniel R. Pearson, Publisher & Editor E-mail: Dan@AugustaRx.com AUGUSTA MEDiCAL EXAMINER P.O. Box 397, Augusta, GA
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Who is this?

If you’re thinking that we used a low resolution pixelated photo for this installment of “Who is this?”, well, you’re half right. It does look that way, but it’s actually a photo of a tile mosaic. So it’s supposed to look this way.

It is a beautiful piece of art depicting a beautiful young woman, and by coincidence, she was born exactly 36 years ago today, on June 2, 1987, right here in Augusta. if you have ever wondered who is behind the Kathryn M. York Adapted Aquatics Center at the Wilson Family Y on Wheeler Road, this is her: this is Kathryn York, known to friends and family as Katie.

It’s no accident that a pool is named in her honor. Her resumé includes being a 2003-2004 Scholastic All-American for USA Swimming, a member of Georgia’s 2004 All State Team, and the state champion in the 100-meter backstroke. She was a member of the Aiken-Augusta Swim League for 10 years, and won the 2004 Coach’s Award for exemplary leadership in and out of the pool. Being just a teenager when all these milestones were reached, she was obviously a champion. She went on to enroll at Augusta State (now Augusta University) and was no doubt eagerly hired by the Family Y as an instructor in their adaptive swimming program, dedicated to improving the quality of life of individuals with physical and/or developmental challenges. She was looking forward to a career in rehabilitative services working with children with special needs.

Alas, it was not to be. In January 2005, Katie was diagnosed with viral encephalitis, a rare form of inflammation of the brain that can cause seizures, impaired motor skills and altered behavior. Her inspiring and promising life ended on May 20, 2008, less than two weeks shy of her 21st birthday.

Katie had been featured in a number of television news interviews and was profiled in the Augusta Chronicle too (if our memory serves us correctly), and as a result her death felt like a loss to the entire city. When a fund-raising drive was announced to collect funds to build a state of the art aquatics center in her honor at the Y, the response was immediate and generous.

As a result, the Kathryn M. York Adapted Aquatics Center was built and dedicated on this very date in 2011 — June 2 — on what would have been Katie’s 23rd birthday.

It’s no doubt difficult for her family to contemplate that today she would be 36 years old. Instead, she’ll always be 20, but she will also always be remembered by the people of Augusta. +

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#190 IN A SERIES

Middle Age

I had a dream last week that I wanted to share here because once I realized what was happening in it, it gave me some insight into what some people might experience in real life. I won’t spoil it just yet. I’ll start with the dream and follow up later with my analysis.

In the dream, I was sitting in the bathroom trying to take care of business when the door opened without anyone knocking, and my son came in and started to talk to me. I protested that he needed to leave and that I had everything under control, but he insisted he needed to help me and spoke to me like I was a child as he slowly moved toward me while I got more and more agitated and desperate to get him to leave. By the time he reached me, I was angrily screaming in no uncertain terms for him to get out of the bathroom yesterday! However, he ignored my pleas. Then a moment later my wife came in, much to my relief since I thought that she would straighten out the situation out posthaste. I asked her to please remove our son from the bathroom, but much to my chagrin, instead of doing that, she also spoke to me in a patronizing fashion, insisting that I calm down and let him help me. We all know that the words, “calm down” rarely achieve their desired effect, and this case was no exception. She proceeded to tell me that I needed his help, but I continued to loudly protest. I was still screaming for them to leave when my oldest daughter came into the bathroom to join the melee. That’s when I really lost it and started not just screaming at them but pulling out every bad word that I had ever heard on school playgrounds, HBO and Cinemax, plus a few I heard at bars of ill repute frequented by sailors of even less repute. Words that almost always lead to violence in the right, or I should I say, wrong circumstances.

I screamed and cussed so badly that I immediately felt guilty in my dream. As I was internally berating myself over my foul mouth and unbecoming show of temper, I put my head down in shame. When I lifted it up again, I was not in the bathroom anymore. I was instead seated in my recliner in the den. The rest of the tableau went essentially the same as before though. As my son approached to help me eat, I protested that I didn’t need any help. Again, as before, my wife, and then my oldest daughter also joined in, all trying to help me as I lost my temper and screamed for them to leave me alone. In both instances, even while I was screaming I didn’t even quite know why I was so angry or why I was reacting in such a vile way. I again felt just terrible about how I had acted and what I said to people who were just trying to help, but I didn’t know why they were trying to help me when I didn’t need the help. Still dreaming, I tried to get up to leave the

room but found that I couldn’t. Again, my son quickly moved to help me as my temper began to flare all over again. But then, mercifully, I woke up in a cold sweat, with much relief that it had only been a dream. I did my best to put the dream out of my mind, but I couldn’t. And so, although it was about an hour earlier than I usually rise, I got up to do something to get my mind off of it.

I usually work from home, but on this particular day I had made plans to meet some co-workers at the office and have lunch together. As I was making the twenty-minute drive to the office, my mind went back to the dream and what it could possibly have meant, and then it dawned on me. This is likely what my father had felt when we walked in to help him in the bathroom or after a fall, or if he spilled food on himself without realizing it. His dementia robbed him of much in his final years. In this case, it robbed him of his dignity and of knowing what was happening. He didn’t realize that he needed me to shower him or one of us to clean up the bathroom when he didn’t make it all the way there. He didn’t know that his shirt and the floor held half the food that had been on his plate. At times he didn’t even know who we were, so it is understandable that he would be disturbed by us walking in on him while he was naked. Looking back, when he got angry about these things, I can understand better now.

My father was never an angry man before Alzheimer’s. I could count on one hand the number of times that I saw him get angry, and even in those cases, not once did that anger end up targeting a living thing. Of course, there were walls and other inanimate objects were never the same again after he got angry, but even this was exceedingly rare. When he got angry after his Alzheimer’s diagnosis, I tried to remember that this wasn’t truly him.

If you are dealing with a loved one with dementia who exhibits this kind of behavior, do your best to put yourself in their shoes and try to understand and forgive them freely when they lose their temper. Dementia can change their personality, both by the damage it does to their brain and by their inability to comprehend the new circumstances that spring from that. But again, this isn’t them. Hold on to the memory of them that you knew before while you try to enjoy what is left of them.

I heard a great piece of advice just the other day. It was meant for parents, but it works when adult children are taking care of parents too, with just a slight change. I’ll close this out by sharing that.

If you are having a tough moment with your loved one who is suffering from dementia and you are about to lose your temper, or cry, or run away, try to imagine that it is five

years or so down the road. By then they have passed away, but you are granted just a few minutes to go back in time to be with them while they were still alive, but it has to be this very trying moment.

How would you treat them in that scenario? Would you be patient with them? Would you soothe them the best you could? Would you agree to anything they said just to make them happy for a little while?

Well, time travel isn’t possible, but you have been granted this moment right now because all we have is the present. Make the most of it, and then, a few years down the road when you really don’t have them anymore, you will still have that special memory of how you patiently dealt with them with knowledge of their predicament, and lovingly did your best.

J.B. Collum is a local novelist, humorist and columnist who wants to be Mark Twain when he grows up. He may be reached at johnbcollum@gmail.com

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THINGS I DON’T BELIEVE

Inflation is transitory. That was over a year ago. I can’t wait for the “transitory” part to kick in.

Children should select their own sex … years before they are old enough to drink beer, see explicit movies, smoke cigarettes, drive cars, or vote. Before this generation, no one ever heard of “choosing your sex.” Do they think you can change your X or Y chromosomes by volition?

Grocery store chicken contains antibiotics and steroids.

BASED ON A TRUE STORY

(most of the time)

My family grows over 1.5 million pounds of chicken every 8 weeks and never have they used antibiotics nor steroids.

Electric vehicles will save money and stop petroleum hydrocarbons emissions.

Have you priced an EV? What do you do for crank case oil, lubricants, tires? And where does the electricity come from?

Stop oil drilling to save the planet. How do you pave streets without asphalt … which comes from oil?

Our economy is strong and the stock market will continue to go up. How can that happen with interest rates going up and inflation still 300% higher than it was two years ago?

You must join clubs and pay monthly fees to lose weight. Or take medications to treat obesity. But losing weight by taking in fewer calories and burning more calories? Radical. It is simple math a 3rd grader can figure out.

Every politician has a secret plan to fix what the opposition has messed up. President Reagan said, “Government is not the solution. Government is the problem.” He had more than a little wisdom. Democrats and Republicans should adhere to Reagan’s dictum.

Guns cause killings. I guess pencils cause misspelling. Forks cause obesity. And cars cause drunk driving. Marriages cause divorce.

Women are oppressed because they are paid less than men, promoted less than men, and are weaker physically. But single women own more homes than single men. It has something to do with divorce lawyers.

Congress passes laws for the good of the people. So why does Congress exempt themselves from Social Security, Medicare, and provide their own retirement plan and medical insurance? And they exempt themselves from discrimination laws regarding staff employment.

Store-bought water has an expiration date. Water has been around for a few million years and only recently are we told it can expire? What are we to do with “expired water.” Will “expired water” contaminate the planet or kill people if we pour it on our gardens?

Save the world from global climate change … stop eating steak and start eating insects. So I’m told, crickets are the “gateway bug.” Chocolate covered crickets? Cricket burgers? Maybe one day, cricket syrup on ice cream? Or Starbuck cricket coffee?

“Freedom of speech” demonstrators shout down anyone who disagrees with

them. They think freedom of speech means certain people (only them) have freedom to speak and all others must listen to them. Somehow, that is not how I read the Constitution. But maybe I am wrong … or stupid.

A college degree is superior to a technical degree. Not always. When times get hard, we will not need social workers and Human Resource workers as much as we need plumbers, carpenters, truck drivers, welders, mechanics, cooks, nurses, etc. Learn a hard skill and you will always be in demand. Save your money and maybe you can buy an electric vehicle to save the planet.

“Morning after pills” prevent social diseases. Taking Doxycycline 100mg within 72 hours after unprotected sex reduces Sexually Transmitted Diseases. (90% less chlamydia, 80% less syphilis, and 50% less gonorrhea.) Will people take the medication after each unprotected encounter? Of course not. Why not use condoms? Condoms are cheap (free at the health department) and availability is omnipresent.

It takes a village to raise a child. No. It takes a family. Farming out responsibilities to the community means no one is actually tasked with rearing a child. Some outsiders might help, but since the deemphasizing of the family unit (husband, wife, and child) the moral fiber of our country is down. Drug abuse is up. Shootings are up. Homelessness is up. Crime is up. Immorality is up. National moral is down.

Taxing corporations don’t cost consumers anything. No. All tax increases are passed on to the consumer. Otherwise, corporations will go broke and go out of business, and consumers will lose their services and products.

As Brother Dave Gardner famously said: “Tell me something you believe in. I got enough doubts of my own.”

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TRYTHISDISH

MEDITERRANEAN VEGGIE WRAP

This recipe can be for lunch or dinner, but it also makes a “worth waking-up for” breakfast. Leftovers for breakfast is a great way to add veggies to breakfast, and this wrap makes running out the door with health in mind deliciously simple. This recipe also works stuffed into a pita round.

Ingredients

Roasted Vegetables

• 1 pint grape tomatoes, halved

• 1 medium zucchini, chopped into 1/4-inch pieces

• 1/2 medium sweet onion, diced

• 1/2 teaspoon Italian seasoning

• 1 teaspoon extra-virgin olive oil

Wrap

• 4 whole grain wraps (most are lower carbohydrate)

• 1 cup spinach

• 1 cup pre-made hummus of your choice

• 1/4 cup roasted red pepper

• 1 cup of roasted veggies

Directions

Preheat the oven to 350° and line a sheet pan with aluminum foil. Spread the tomatoes, zucchini, and onion out in a single layer on the pan; sprinkle with seasoning and drizzle with oil. Toss the veggies with your hands to coat with oil. Roast for 20 to 30 minutes, turning the veggies about halfway through cooking time.

Once the veggies are done you can build your wrap (or pita). First, spread 1/4 cup of the hummus evenly over the middle of a warm wrap. Then line the hummus with spinach leaves (1/4 cup).

Next place one-fourth cup veggies and one tablespoon roasted red pepper on the spinach and fold the wrap “burrito” style. (How to: take the edge of the wrap closest to you and fold it over the fillings, then press down and pull back, thus dragging the fillings a bit closer towards you. Next fold in each side, and finally tightly roll the wrap all the way up into a

tight roll. The burrito fold will make it easy to eat on the go.) The remaining wraps can be stored in the refrigerator to “grab-and-go” when needed.

Yield: 4 Servings

Nutrition Breakdown: Calories 250, Fat 10g, (0g saturated fat), Cholesterol 0mg, Sodium 600mg, Carbohydrate 39g, Fiber 19g, Protein 15g.

Percent Daily Values: 20% Vitamin A, 45% Vitamin C, 15% Calcium, 20% Iron Diabetes Exchange Values: 2 Vegetables, 2 Carbohydrates, 1 Protein, 1Fats

Kim’s note: Tortillas will fold more easily if you warm them briefly in the microwave (20 seconds or so). Also note, you will likely have more vegetables than needed for this recipe, they can easily be folded into scrambled eggs, used as a toast topper, bake potato filler, or grits topper. Enjoy!

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Simone, a student at Augusta University, asks:

“Dr.

Simone, thanks for the question. It is a bit different from the nutrition questions I usually answer in this column, but I thought my readers might be interested in the answer. Where does a nutrition research scientist begin? The very first step is formulating and defining a research question. A scientist is trained to question just about everything. The key and the challenges are asking the right questions. So, that is where your research project should begin, with the question.

When I peer-review research papers for medical journals, sometimes I am surprised by what I read. For example, sometimes I find that the experimental design is not the design that should have been used by the researchers to adequately answer their research question. The first thing to do if you want to do nutrition research is to ask the important questions. The next thing is to make sure your research design will answer the question. Also, make sure you have the required education, skills and tools needed to answer the question. You do not want to focus on a question that is beyond your ability or outside the resources that are available to you.

One problem I find is that researchers start out to answer one question, but their data and conclusions answer an entirely different question. Sometimes the question they end up answering may be more important than the original question. Is that a good situation? Seems like it should be. The problem is that the scientists may be unaware of what their data

shows. How does this happen? The researchers are so focused on fitting their data into an answer to the original research question, they don’t realize that they have stumbled upon a more important answer to a more important question. Unexpected data should excite you. It may give you a reason to think in a whole new direction and ask questions you had never even considered before.

You also need to be an enthusiastic lifelong learner. You cannot ask the right question unless you know what is “known,” what is “not known” and what “needs to be known.” The “known” is extremely comfortable. The “unknown” is much less comfortable, although more exciting. Be sure your knowledge is complete about what is known in your proposed research area and then figure out what are the most important pieces of information that still need to be known. Throughout your research project, you need to constantly review new data that is being published in your area and then “tweak” your question, considering the new information.

How skilled are you at

teasing out a smaller, specific answerable question from a broader question? In other words, how good are you at focusing broad research questions into narrower, answerable, specific questions?

You need to develop the skill to narrow down a question so that, finally, you arrive at a question that is answerable by you, with your own specific skill sets.

Your goal is to advance nutrition science by contributing an important packet of information. You need to take one small step for humankind, not a giant leap. Do not expect your research project to result in The Nobel Prize. The key to successful scientific research is your wisdom to formulate small, answerable, important questions that are answerable within

your expertise, training, and the research tools available to you.

What is the “No-Nonsense Nutrition” advice for today?

If you are thinking about beginning nutrition research, asking the right question is the place to begin. The key is formulating a specific, answerable question and continually evaluating and re-evaluating your question in view of the evolving data and knowledge in the area. Good luck in your nutrition research career and thank for the interesting and unusual question. Beyond that, Simone, I also hope that my answer has given readers some insight into how evidenced-based nutrition research projects begin.

Have a question about food, diet or nutrition? Post or private message your question on Facebook (www.Facebook.com/ AskDrKarp) or email your question to askdrkarp@gmail.com If your question is chosen for a column, your name will be changed to insure your privacy. Warren B. Karp, Ph.D., D.M.D., is Professor Emeritus at Augusta University. He has served as Director of the Nutrition Consult Service at the Dental College of Georgia and is past Vice Chair of the Columbia County Board of Health. You can find out more about Dr. Karp and the download site for the public domain eBook, Nutrition for Smarties, at www.wbkarp.com Dr. Karp obtains no funding for writing his columns, articles, or books, and has no financial or other interests in any food, book, nutrition product or company. His interest is only in providing freely available, evidenced-based, scientific nutrition knowledge and education. The information is for educational use only; it is not meant to be used to diagnose, manage or treat any patient or client. Although Dr. Karp is a Professor Emeritus at Augusta University, the views and opinions expressed here are his and his alone and do not reflect the views and opinions of Augusta University or anyone else.

Dr. Karp

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Tasty tips from registered dietitians with the Augusta Dietetic District Association

Osteoporosis and a Bone-Friendly Lifestyle

System-Uptown Division

The National Institutes of Health (NIH) defines osteoporosis as a bone disease that develops when bone mineral density and bone mass decreases, or when the structure and strength of bone changes.¹ Osteoporosis, meaning “porous bone,” is a disease that weakens bones, often developing without symptoms or pain, yet it increases the risk for sudden and or unexpected bone fractures.

According to the National Osteoporosis Foundation, approximately 10 million Americans have osteoporosis and another 44 million have low bone density. Half of all women and up to one in four men will break a bone in their lifetime due to osteoporosis.² Osteoporosis can occur at any age, but the risk increases as we age.

There are several ways to diagnose osteoporosis. The U.S. Preventive Services Task Force recommends testing for all adults with a condition

(e.g. rheumatoid arthritis) or who take a medication associated with low bone mass or bone loss (e.g., glucocorticoids), men and women age 50-plus with a fracture; women age 65-plus, and men 70 and above, regardless of clinical risk factors.

While there are many non-modifiable risk factors like sex, age, race, family history, hormone changes, and other medical conditions, there are several modifiable risk factors. They include diet, medications, smoking cessation, avoiding chronic alcohol consumption, eliminating a sedentary lifestyle, and others.

Good nutrition is critical to bone health. The key macronutrient for bone health is protein. Vitamin D and calcium are vital micronutrients for normal bone mineralization.

The Recommended Dietary Allowance (RDA) to prevent protein deficiency for an average sedentary adult is 0.8 grams per kg of body weight. However, recent research has shown older adults (above 65 years) require 1 to 1.2 grams of protein per kg of body weight.3,4 Protein consumption should be spread

GOOD SOURCES OF PROTEIN

Food Source Serving Size Protein Grams

Beef 3 ounces

Salmon 3 ounces

Chicken 3 ounces

Lentils (cooked) 1 cup

Almonds 0.3 cup

Researchers recommend that older adults consume 1-1.2 grams of protein each day for every 2.2 lbs of body weight. Example: for someone who weighs 110 pounds, the recommended daily protein intake is 50 to 60 grams. +

throughout the day with 25-30 grams recommended at each meal.4

The RDA for calcium is 1,000 mg for men 19-70 years, and 1,200 mg for men 71 and older; for women aged 19-50 years it’s 1,000 mg, and 1,200 mg for women 51 and above. The RDA for vitamin D for men and women 19-70 years is 15 mcg (600 IU) and over 70 years, 20 mcg (800 IU) daily. 1,2,5

Exercise has been shown to increase bone mineral density and decrease fracture risk. Weight-bearing exercise increases bone density at the spine and hip. Exercise programs that include balance, strength and endurance training significantly reduce the risk of falls and associated fractures. By combining resistance and weight bearing exercises you can obtain the most benefit to increase bone strength.2

Bone healthy living includes regular exercise and adequate nutrition focusing on protein, calcium, and vitamin D to aid in posture, balance and reducing the risk of fractures and disease.

For more information:

• americanbonehealth.org/online-osteoporosis-community/ • bonehealthandosteoporosis.org/ patients/patient-support/faq/

References:

• 1. niams.nih.gov/health-topics/osteoporosis#:~:text=Osteoporosis%20 is%20a%20bone%20disease,of%20 fractures%20(broken%20bones).

• 2. https://www.bonehealthandosteoporosis.org/wp-content/ uploads/2015/12/Osteoporosis-Fast-Facts.pdf

• 3. acl.gov/sites/default/files/nutrition/Nutrition-Needs_Protein_FINAL-2.18.20_508.pdf

• 4. Protein Intake and Frailty: A Matter of Quantity, Quality, and Timing - PMC (nih.gov)

• 5. Nutrient Recommendations and Databases (nih.gov)

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24 (low
24 Greek yogurt 1 cup
fat)
22
20
17
10

CRASH COURSE

More Americans have died on US roads since 2006 than in World Wars I & II combined

Maybe the epic summer road trip is a relic of the past, but then again, maybe it isn’t. Sure, it’s great to be able to reach your destination at 600 mph instead of 60, but air travel has hours upon hours of built-in delays, and that’s on a good day. Other delays can pop up unexpectedly, from thunderstorms to idiotic passengers who force pilots to land at the nearest available airport. Yes, it can be a lot cheaper to drive than fly.

Something else that can change because this is a road trip: what the car contains. It’s possible that gear and/or the heads of family members not normally in the car will block the view of rear view mirrors. Backing up and parking could be a challenge not encountered in normal driving.

ROAD TRIP!

So what does the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration (NHTSA, pronounced nit-sah) suggest to make your road trip safe, refreshing, and relaxing?

Step 1: leave the kids at home.

No, wait! They did not say that! Typo! NHTSA has a lot to say about summertime road trip safety, and rather than nagging everyone about speeding, tailgating, and not flipping the bird at other motorists as we might expect, they focus on the mechanical and physical aspects of getting safely from Point A to Point B.

That makes a lot of sense because, after all, we can’t do any of the things just mentioned if we’re stalled out by the side of the road.

These are very practical suggestions. For instance, before a road trip have your air conditioning checked. It was a cool May, but hoping for a cool summer around here is about as likely as hoping to qualify for next year’s Masters. As a player. Not happening. There are people (such as little children and older adults) who are sensitive to excessive heat. In fact, almost no one would like to undertake a road trip in the dead of summer without AC.

Your friendly mechanic (we would be remiss if we didn’t suggest C&C Automotive, one of the sterling clients who make this newspaper possible) will also gladly check your belts and hoses, tires, cooling system fluid levels, your battery, wiper blades, headlights, brake lights and blinkers, et cetera. It’s not at all expensive, but even if it was, it’s way cheaper than a breakdown (or even worse, a crash) in some lonely place 500 miles from home where you know not a single soul.

Other things to think about as suggested by NHTSA: floor mats. Who thinks of that? Well, NHTSA does, but why? New mats, or improperly installed mats, can get in the way of gas and brake pedals. It may not make a difference during a 2-mile daily commute, but it could be a factor during many hours of driving.

Sometimes people rent a vehicle for road trips, and that represents another factor to address for safety. The new vehicle might be wider, have a different stopping distance, different controls for heating, air, audio, navigation, windshield wipers and wiper fluid, mirror controls and more. Getting familiar with its features before you hit the road could go a long way toward safely arriving at your destination.

The same thing — a new and unfamiliar vehicle — could have an impact on pedestrians around the vehicle, whether they happen to be people you know and love in your own driveway or total strangers in a parking lot someplace. Again, familiarity breeds safety.

A few other suggestions that NHTSA has about things we all often overlook: have a gear box — no, not a gearbox; a gear box — full of, uh, gear that can be quite useful. Examples: a flashlight, a first aid kit, jumper cables or one of those charger packs that will charge your battery without another car, a pair of work gloves, a roll of that all-important duct tape (in case a hose leaks), and maybe an old blanket (to lay on the ground if you have to get under the car or change a flat tire. Which raises another point: make sure your spare is porperly inflated and your jack is on-board and has all of its working components.

Once you actually hit the highway, here are some parting (literally) words from NHTSA: don’t push it. Those aren’t their exact words, but they want us all to remember to not overdo it; plan to cover a reasonable distance each day or in the time allotted to travel each day. Falling asleep at the wheel is hardly ever a good agenda item for a family vacation. When you stop to fuel up, get out, walk around, stretch. Get refreshed. NHTSA also says (in so many words) don’t push your luck. This past holiday weekend, Medical Examiner examiners saw cars on I-20 with out of state plates who looked like they had to be someplace far away an hour ago, and they were driving like they still planned to get there an hour ago.

Here’s our tip: if you want to travel 600 mph, take that plane ride.

CHRONIC… from page 1

I’m talking about BULLYING.

Misconception number one is that bullying effects only a small minority of school age children. One in three is not a small minority.

The second misconception is that children outgrow the harmful effects of long-term bullying. For many if not most, the sense of isolation, helplessness, and vulnerability has already sunk its claws deep into their psyche. It’s a constant companion even into adulthood.

The third misconception is that high school graduation ends the trail of tears that the victims of bullying have endured. Bullies don’t magically disappear once they don a cap and gown. They have honed their skills of manipulation over their weak, unpopular, less attractive, and poorer victims. In the job market their people skills tend to be appreciated by upper management types, and bullies tend to gravitate towards supervisory positions.

As stated by Kevin Ward in his TEDx Talk about adult bullying, in a survey of 9,000 federal employees, 57% said they were bullied within the past two years. And as Mr. Ward adds, yes, the federal government has anti-bullying policies in place.

So who am I, and what makes me an expert on this subject? I am not an expert. Before I share my personal story, I want you to understand my reasons for publicizing my embarrassing history of being bullied. It is not for sympathy, financial gain, or for personal attention. I would prefer to remain anonymous. The problem is, remaining anonymous doesn’t help me heal the scars and maybe decrease the nightmares I continue to have at 69 years of age. When I say bullying leaves lifelong scars, I am living proof.

My first memory of being a victim of bullying was in the 3rd grade. I was a frail and skinny kid, and apparently I was a desirable target for two large and scary looking twin brothers. When the last school bell rang, the hunt was on. I was not a fast runner, and it didn’t take long for them to catch me. All I could do is cover my head as they pummeled me with their fists. This was a daily occurrence. The school principal’s solution? I was let out of school ten minutes early each day to get a head start running home.

Each year I faced a new gamut of bullies. We moved to a different town for my father’s new job as a fire chief. During my first few months at the new school I was followed home by the class bully looking to tune up the new kid. One punch and I had a broken nose.

The bullying and assaults didn’t slow down until 10th grade. By then I was 6 feet tall and weighed about 180 lbs.

I knew from childhood my father was a bully. He had an explosive temper, and he used open hands and fists on me from the time I was young.

About the time my school bullying ended, my father became an alcoholic. This substantially shortened the fuse of his temper. My little sister spilled her cereal one day and my father felt that I was the cause. I knew what was coming, so I started running. My mistake was looking back. When I did he threw a metal spatula that struck me in the forehead. I ran to my room and buried my head in my foam pillow. By the time my mother got home I had bled all the way through the foam.

As the years passed by, I experienced workplace bullying. When I helped a coworker move into an apartment her estranged husband showed up, assumed I was involved with his wife, and knocked me out cold. In my 40’s I was diagnosed with Severe Depressive Disorder. Around the same time I attended my cousin’s wedding. They were serving alcohol to underage drinkers, and it caused an incident in the parking lot. The police arrived to take care of the situation and take witness statements, including mine. My father, who apparently had been drinking, was upset about something. While two officers were taking my statement my father suddenly threw both hands around my neck and started choking me. The officers had to beat him in the ribs repeatedly to finally get him to stop. He was arrested, and had several broken ribs.

As the years passed, I experienced more work related bullyPlease see CHRONIC page 11

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the blog spot

MEDICAL MYSTERY

An excerpt from Fifty Shades of Gray Matter. He was Hitler. Not the evil Nazi dictator returned somehow from the inferno to which he had been consigned. Apparently, as with the witches in Oz, there were both good and bad Hitlers. He informed me that he was, in fact, a good Hitler, having been unfortunately named for the infamous German monster. That any parent would name a child Hitler was both inexplicable and disturbing. However, it was not uncommon in his small village near Quito, Ecuador. Children there had also been Stalin and Mao. Clearly, name recognition took precedence over reputation.

HITLER’S WIFE THOUGHT HE HAD COVID.

His name never bothered him much. It mostly bothered other people wherever his ID was checked, at the airport, at the immigration office, and even during his doctor visits. It was always greeted with stares and smirks and sardonic comments. He bore no resemblance to his namesake. He was a sweet soul who loved children and animals and had rescued several cats. The last one was a month ago, a skinny black kitten abandoned in a park on a small blanket.

I met him in early June of 2020, the year of the plague, when most primary doctors were only available on Zoom, a word not familiar to many patients. Hospitals were still overwhelmed with COVID admissions; everything else a secondary consideration.

Hitler’s children did not want him to go to the ER for fear of contagion. My office had retained some sign of normalcy, but the COVID threat loomed over all. Hitler was sitting not so peacefully next to his wife Ninfa. At 10 a.m., a few minutes after they had arrived, my office manager came running.

“There is a commotion. Mr. Hitler is flapping like a bird with a broken wing.”

“Mr. Hitler?”

“Yes, that is actually his name.”

“Put him in a room,” I replied.

When I finally saw him, his right arm was springing up and down in a fashion disturbingly like the Nazi salute. The motion was flailing and violent, seemingly uncontrollable, despite the efforts of his wife to physically restrain.

“Hitler has been doing this for the last two weeks.” his wife reported. “Everybody thinks he is going mad, maybe from the forced quarantine at home.”

I was skeptical.

“The COVID virus attacked his brain,” Ninfa went on. “He told me he can’t stop doing this. He’s saluting like a Nazi. He’s only quiet at night in his sleep.”

Their primary doctor told them over the phione that it was probably stress. He sent them to me since my office was open even though at a reduced capacity.

Hitler apparently had suffered a blood disorder when he was younger but was otherwise in good health, except for some mild fever, fatigue, and swollen lymph nodes for the last month. Those symptoms had been attributed to the COVID virus and treated with azithromycin empirically. I was unconvinced of any COVID connection, and thought that it could be a rare movement disorder that I had seen only once during my training.

A movement so dramatic, violent, and unpredictable was impossible to miss. My suspected diagnosis was “hemiballism,” from the Greek “hemi,” meaning half, and “ballism,” meaning jumping. (I loved Greek and the array of medical words derived from its roots.)

I knew that in his age group the cause was usually a stroke, but I was in for a surprise.

Miraculously I was able to get a brain MRI for Hitler the same day despite the paucity of medical personnel. At 6 p.m.

the radiologist called. Hitler was still on the table and needed a contrast injection. At 9 p.m. he called back.

“There is a lesion that looks like an infection, a mass lesion in the area of the left basal ganglia.”

A lesion? Suddenly, the light went on. I called Hitler and Ninfa. He needed immediate hospitalization. They went to a major hospital with my referral and the radiologist report.

He was admitted the same day. The cause was acute toxoplasmosis, an unusual but not unheard-of cause of hemiballism. I remember Ninfa saying how Hitler rescued stray cats.

It appeared that the little black feral furball rescued a month ago was the cause of his misery. The kitten had perhaps eaten infected rodents or birds while in the park. Hitler must

CHRONIC

from page 10

ing, and then started having repeated nightmares about my father trying to kill me. I have since developed insomnia, and rarely fall asleep until 2-3 am.

Why do I bother baring my soul for everyone to see? My goal is to start a conversation about the damage bullies do to children and adults. Bullying has a cumulative effect on its victims. The more you have been on the receiving end, the less it takes to shake you to your soul. Only people who have been bullied can understand.

My hopes and dreeams? In a perfect world I would like to see a non-profit organization founded to study, inform, and lobby for real change in how we perceive and deal with all aspects of bullying.

I have written the lyrics to a song about my experience with bullying, and the process was actually cathartic. I’m currently looking for a musician to collaborate with to complete the song to possibly help spread the message.

I hope this article helps you better understand the true cost of bullying.

have unwittingly ingested the toxoplasma parasites by touching his mouth with soiled hands after cleaning the cat litter.

He was immediately started on medications after his blood work showed a rising antibody count.

Ninfa gave very precise instructions to his son. The little black kitten initially called “El Prince,” since rechristened “El Toxo,” was sent to an animal shelter.

Hitler was saddened but understood that there could be no more contact with cats. He recovered completely. After being named Hitler and having his path crossed by a black cat, he was due for a change in his luck.

Teresella Gondolo is a neurologist and author of Fifty Shades of Gray Matter

AUGUSTAMEDICALEXAMiNER JUNE 2, 2023 11 + + + Read us online at AugustaRX.com
SALUBRIOUS SALUBRIOUSER SALUBRIOUSER SALUBRIOUSER SALUBRIOUSER SALUBRIOUSER SALUBRIOUSEST SALUBRIOUS SALUBRIOUS SALUBRIOUS SALUBRIOUS SALUBRIOUS Theotherguys TheExaminer GOT A STORY? Tell us about your medical experiences “Everyone Has a Story” Seriously, who doesn’t? What we used to call “Medicine in the First Person.” EMAIL: Dan@AugustaRx.com MAIL: POBox 397 Augusta GA 30903 Your story can be “by your name,” “by your pen name,” or “by Anonymous.”

So how s that little 5-year-old of yours?

He asked me the other day what it s like to be a parent.

I said would think about it and tell him later. What did you tell him? What did you end up telling him?

woke him up at 2 o clock the next morning and told him I was thirsty.

THE MYSTERY WORD

The Mystery Word for this issue: RSDDIROE

Simply unscramble the letters, then begin exploring our ads When you find the correctly spelled word HIDDEN in one of our ads — enter at AugustaRx.com

We’ll announce the winner in our next issue!

ACROSS

1. Training ____

4. Fortification made of tree branches (historical)

10. Ran away

14. First follower

15. Glowing

16. Daytime TV host

17. Campus org.

18. Grand ______

19. Islamic chieftain 20. Have a bad effect upon 22. Monetary unit of Romania 23. Make into law 24. Wonderment 26. Augusta talk radio station 28. Downtown building

WORDS

65. Singles

DOWN

1. Criticize severely

South Augusta high school

6. As a square, 208 ft. per side

7. Augusta’s old Cafe du _____

8. Days follower

9. Abbrev. for HPV or HIV

10. First name in Surrey Center

11. Capital of Peru

12. Heroic or grand in scale

13. Slender throwable missile

21. Her maiden name was Doud

23. Benedict beginning

25. Pale

26. WBBQ founder George

27. Breezy

28. Nashville trio with local ties

29. Congressman Rick

30. Medical prefix

31. Noted 1995 burn patient

32. Red earth pigment 33. Advice or counsel (archaic) 34. Landing spot 35. Cache 38. Lecherous look

Behaved

Type of horn?

#5 of 12

________ Hill

Ghostly apparition

DIRECTIONS: Every line, vertical and horizontal, and all nine 9-square boxes must each contain the numbers 1 though 9. Solution on page 14.

QUOTATIONPUZZLE

DIRECTIONS: Recreate a timeless nugget of wisdom by using the letters in each vertical column to fill the boxes above them. Once any letter is used, cross it out in the lower half of the puzzle. Letters may be used only once. Black squares indicate spaces between words, and words may extend onto a second line.

Solution on page 14.

Use the letters provided at bottom to create words to solve the puzzle above. All the listed letters following #1 are the first letters of the various words; the letters following #2 are the second letters of each word, and so on. Try solving words with letter clues or numbers with minimal choices listed. A sample is shown. Solution on page 14.

The Examiners
AUGUSTAMEDICALEXAMiNER JUNE 2, 2023 12
Click on “MYSTERY WORD” • DEADLINE TO ENTER: NOON, JUNE 11, 2023 +
by Daniel R. Pearson © 2023 All rights reserved
+
NUMBER BY SAMPLE: 1 2 3 4 1 2 1 2 3 4 5 LOVE BLIND IS 1. ILB 2. SLO 3. VI 4. NE 5. D = Solution p. 14
by Daniel R. Pearson © 2023 All rights reserved. E X A M I N E
S U D O K U
R
EXAMINER CROSSWORD by Daniel R. Pearson © 2023 All rights reserved PUZZLE EXAMINER CROSSWORD by Daniel R. Pearson © 2023 All rights reserved.
© 2023 Daniel Pearson All rights reserved.
, U 1 2 3 4 5 6 P 1 1 — Francis Bacon 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 D 1 2 1 2 3 4 1 2 3 1. AIABBBIGIHS 2. ROOSSTUUA 3. PPTODE 4. DAPE 5. EK 6. FR 7. A 8. S 9. T 1 2 3 4 1 2 1 2 S 1 2 3 — Hippocrates E T U S T I H W T R A H R O E N T F A I U D N L R U F E I S O S R E H A A C E S A R E L E E S 1 4 2 5 3 8 5 1 2 5 1 7 6 6 4 8 5 2 6 3 6 5 8 6 7 9 7 3 7 9 3 6 1 6 1 5 3 2 2 4 8 5 7 3 2 9 4 5 1 6 7 9 8 8 5 4 2 6 4 7 6 1 9 5 3 2 8 4 9 8 1 7 3 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 57 58 59 60 61 62 63 64 65 66 67
66. Verb: to grow teeth 67. Intel agcy. 2. Capital of Latvia 3. Jewish calendar month 4. Lou Gehrig’s dis. 5.
42.
44.
45.
48.
49.
50.
51. Skin
52. Castle
54. Not secretive 55. Employs 56. Lady A relative? 58. Decay 59. Before, poetically 60. Grant foe
39.
41.
Allergenic beginning
Portent
Augusta painter Ed
eruption
defense
51.
53.
63.
64.
30. “Love thy________” 34. 9th governor of Alaska 35. Inheritors 36. ____ bandage 37. Doing nothing 38. Adjective for bad service 39. Hyper abbreviation 40. Some storms have one 41. Chain founded in 1886 42. Augusta-based political cartoonist 43. Ford model (1957-1979) 45. Transparent liquid 46. It often follows “O” 47. Patch in Aiken 48. Greek goddesses of the seasons
Doc’s org.
Mr. Barnard 57. Giant in Norse myth 58. Spring back 61. Prostate test abbreviation 62. Four make a bushel
Elaborately adorned
Brain test (abbrev.)

THEBESTMEDICINE

the pilot knocks on the door.

“Is there a mechanic around here?” he asks the woman who answers.

She ponders for a moment, then says, “No, but we do have a McArdle and a McAllister.”

Pessimist: “Things can’t get much worse!”

Optimist: “Of course they can!”

The Advice Doctor

Walter died. His lawyer stood before the family to read Walter’s Last Will and Testament.

To my dear wife Esther, I leave the house, 150 acres of land, and one million dollars.

To my son Barry, I leave my Lexus, the Benz, and the new Jaguar.

To my daughter Shirley, I leave my yacht and $250,000.

And to my brother-in-law Aaron, who always insisted that health is more important than wealth, I leave my treadmill.

Moe: Never combine bleach and vinegar!

Joe: Why not?

Moe: It’s an oxidant waiting to happen.

Moe: How many chiropractors does it take to change a light bulb?

Joe: I give. How many?

Moe: Just one. But it takes six visits.

A helicopter experiences engine failure above a secluded Scottish island and is forced to make an emergency landing.

Fortunately, a cottage is within sight, and

Moe: What would people do if they were in the Horn of Africa during an earthquake?

Joe: Shake Djibouti.

Moe: I’m writing a book about how tornados and hurricanes form.

Joe: I’d like to read it. Is it almost done?

Moe: No, right now it’s just a draft.

Moe: Hey, I’m writing a children’s story. I need a good name for a laundromat for pigs.

Joe: What about Hogwash?

Moe: What would be a good brand name for tofu sausage?

Joe: Not dog.

Moe: What kind of dog can do magic?

Joe: A Labracadabrador.

Moe: What do you call a dog that floats?

Joe: Good buoy!

Moe: If I had a dime for every good joke I’ve ever read in this paper...

Joe: How much would you have?

Moe: About a nickel.

Dear Advice Doctor,

I am a very calm person. I love my husband, but he has no chill button. Ever. He is wired all the time. Even when he is completely “relaxed” he is jiggling his foot 100 miles an hour. He’s got ants in his pants from the moment he wakes up in the morning until he falls asleep at night. It’s impossible for me to relax around him. What can I do?

— He Is Infecting Me

Dear He Is,

I am very glad you sent me this question. This is an important issue, one that should not be ignored. The most unfortunate aspect of this subjec t is that we happen to live in the part of the US where the nastiest type of ants live. The Southeastern US is prime real estate for fire ants. It’s bad enough to have them bite hands and feet; ants in the pants has to be the worst.

Protective Strategy #1: stay away from fire ant beds whenever you happen to see them. They deserve pre-emptive payback, but resist the urge to stir up their nest with a stick. If you mess with them at all, do it with ant poison, or call the bug man and let professionals handle the situation.

If an ant does get on you, it probably means you felt a bite. In that event, brush the offender and any of his friends off immediately, and do so with gloves, a towel, anything but your bare hand, since that might result in additional bites on your hand.

Wa sh the area right away with soap and cold water. Taking an oral antihistamine like Benadryl will help relieve the itch, and applying topical creams like hydrocortisone should help too. Ice packs can also help reduce pain and swelling. Even with every treatment available, it’s likely the bite will be an annoyance for a week or more. Do not pop the blisters (unless you want to prolong the misery

R ED ALERT: There are people who can experience severe allergic reactions to fire ant bites. A single bite could be fatal for some people. There have been cases here in the CSRA and elsewhere across the Southeast where a single (or multiple) bite(s) resulted in death.

If you are aware that you have such an allergy, an epi-pen should always be at hand. You never know when you might need to use it to save your life. Otherwise, call 9-1-1 at once. I hope I answered your question. In closing, congratulations for not letting cold feet interfere with your wedding plans. Do you have a question for The Advice Doctor about life, love, personal relationships, career, raising children, or any other important topic? Send it to News@AugustaRx.com. Replies will be provided only in the Examiner.

Why read the Medical Examiner: Reason #164

AUGUSTAMEDICALEXAMiNER JUNE 2, 2023 13 ha... ha...
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BEFORE READING AFTER READING

THE MYSTERY SOLVED

The Mystery Word in our last issue was: STITCHES

...cleverly hidden under the question mark in the p. 3 ad for WELCOMEHEALTH.NET

THE WINNER: STEVE ALBRIGHT!

If that’s your name, congratulations! Send us your mailing address using the email address in the box on page 3. The new Mystery Word is on page 12. Start looking!

The Celebrated

MYSTERY WORD CONTEST

...wherein we hide (with fiendish cleverness) a simple word. All you have to do is unscramble the word (found on page 12), then find it concealed within one of our ads. Click in to the contest link at www.AugustaRx.com and enter. If we pick you in our random drawing of correct entries, you’ll score our goodie package!

SEVEN SIMPLE RULES: 1. Unscramble and find the designated word hidden within one of the ads in this issue. 2. Visit the Reader Contests page at www.AugustaRx.com. 3. Tell us what you found and where you found it. 4. If you’re right and you’re the one we pick at random, you win. (Winners within the past six months are ineligible.) 5. Prizes awarded to winners may vary from issue to issue. Limited sizes are available for shirt prize. 6. A photo ID may be required to claim some prizes. 7. Other entrants may win a lesser prize at the sole discretion of the publisher. 8. Deadline to enter is shown on page 12.

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