HOLIDAY ISSUE
aPrIl DaNIELS OMaRr, JETT & Tahshon the transparency of NOW
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TABLE OF
ON THE COVER
Contents
DEVOTIONAL
20 APRIL DANIELS
86 DHARIUS DANIELS
From our inaugural cover to unveiling this issue’s Two-Year Anniversary cover feature, let us reintroduce April N. Daniels — the purpose in her journey is just beginning. April and her sons open up with a transparent reflection of their now.
Dharius Daniels encourages us to pause, reflect, and take stock of what we’ve accomplished, where we’ve fallen short, and where we go from here.
MIND, BODY, SPIRIT
FOOD & TRAVEL
18 MIND
66 SHOP, PREP, DINE
MANNA FOR THE MIND Tari teaches us how those found in pursuit of Christ will be forever covered by His defense.
Orchids & Sweet Tea never misses! Shanika brings us a Vegan Sweet Potato Orzo Bowl dish that will not disappoint.
STYLE & GRACE
68 BEAUTY
+ MAGIC JOHNSON
Our Media Correspondent Lorri Lofton meets Magic Johnson on the field.
LEANNE DLAMINI LeAnne Dlamini presents five beauty tips that will have you glowing throughout this holiday season.
52 SPIRIT
HOW I GREW TODAY Marquita Moore’s transparency in her open letter to her own heart will undoubtedly touch yours.
74 SPECIAL HOLIDAY FEATURE
THE DAWN OF HOPE Three women share their journeys in the hope to encourage those who are grieving the loss of a spouse during this holiday season.
58 DESIGN
TAMARA BRADSHAW, Tamara Bradshaw shares holiday hacks surrounding her favorite time of the year: Christmas.
GOD’S FAVOR
10 Brand creator Lavencia
Ferguson and singer/songwriter Shameka Dwight deliver much needed gifts to the marketplace.
SPECIAL + ADEVOTIONAL WITH
DHARIUS DANIELS.
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apRil24
danieLS IN EVERY ISSUE 09 08 07 06 85
LETTER FROM THE EDITOR THE LORD’S PRAYER CONTRIBUTORS MASTHEAD THE PRAYER OF SALVATION
16 THE GIRLFRIEND’S CORNER April Daniels reflects on gratitude, what The Girlfriend’s Corner has meant to her, and how she is making room for new friends. 60 MIRACLES STILL HAPPEN Television producer, life coach, and author Treiva Williams is the epitome of total healing through faith and obedience to God’s voice.
FEATURES
54 LET YOUR LIGHT SHINE Celebrity hair stylist and author Tracci Johnson helps us understand the Dangers of Mistrust.
10 GOD’S FAVOR Brand creator Lavencia Ferguson and singer/songwriter Shameka Dwight deliver much needed gifts to the marketplace.
72 COMMUNITY CALLING WITH MB Baseball anyone?! Our media correspondent, Lorri Lofton, caught up with 5x NBA Champion Magic Johnson to round out our Community Calling for the year. Mindblowing Magazine | 5
EDITORIAL EDITOR-IN-CHIEF Stacy Sorrell-Moore
EDITORIAL DIRECTOR April Daniels
MANAGING EDITOR Denise Griffin
CREATIVE COVER DIRECTOR / COVER FEATURE PHOTOGRAPHER Robin V. / www.robinvphotography.com
COVER FEATURE EDITORIAL STYLIST
Joyce Sheffield of On and Off the Runway / www.onandofftherunwayboutique.com
ART & DESIGN & DIRECTOR Jazmine Rochelle / Art & Design Cheryl Davis / Administration www.jazminerochelle.com
COLUMNISTS
April Daniels / www.officialaprildaniels.com Tari Cox, M.A. / www.taricox.com Marquita Moore / www.howigrewtoday.com
CONTRIBUTORS
Tamara Bradshaw LeAnne Dlamini Shanika Graham-White Dr. Dharius Daniels Deidre Dickey
WRITER
Toni Emehel
MEDIA / VIDEO
Jamil “Jamil not Jamal” Taylor www.alwaysgoodmedia.com @jamilnotjamal
Media Corespondent Lorri Lofton @LorriAshly
MARKETING / ADVERTISING
advertise@mindblowingmagazine.com
EVENT PRODUCTION Wright Productions www.wrightprods.com
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BEHIND THE STORY
MEET OUR contributors In every issue, each woman and man here desires to cheer you on. They understand your struggles. Get your pain. Helps you know you’re not alone. Shares their authentic faith. And uplifts you to the heavens! They help you soar and become who God created you to be.
Toni Emehel
@toni.emehel Cover Feature Miracles Still Happen
April Daniels
@iamaprildaniels The Girlfriend’s Corner
Shanika Graham-White @orchdsnsweettea_ Shop, Prep, Dine
Tamara Bradshaw
Dr. Dharius Daniels
Tari Cox, M.A.
Marquita Moore
Deidre Dickey
LeAnne Dlamini
@tamarabradshaw_home Design
@xarcito Manna for the Mind
@deidre.dickey Let Your Light Shine The Dawn of Hope
@dhariusdaniels Devotional
@howigrewtoday How I Grew Today
@iamleanned Beauty
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THE LORD’S
PRAYER Our Father, who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name; thy kingdom come; thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread; and forgive us our debts as we forgive our debtors; and lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil. Amen. MATTHEW 6:9-13
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EDITOR'S LETTER
I’m so blessed and honored to be able to serve as Editorin-Chief of Mind Blowing Magazine. As I reflect while I’m typing, I’m realizing that this is our tenth issue. Our Holiday issue. And our Two-Year Anniversary issue! All I can say is … “wow!!” What a full circle moment — with our beautiful cover feature, April Daniels, also our inaugural cover feature as well. We felt it very important for April to grace our cover again because it’s our very special way to tell her “thank you!”
Thank you, April, for your yes, for being our first cover feature, which began the MB Magazine journey and confirmed the vision God gave me. Now look where God has taken His magazine! What a mighty God we serve! Please allow me to reintroduce April Daniels to you. April updates us on where she is today and what we can expect next from her. She also shares her loving family with u s: her handsome sons, Tahshon, Omarr and Jett, who also grace the cover with their mom.
Their family cover feature photos exude strength, and April’s images are just heart-stopping. Reading their testimonies will not only inspire and encourage you but will allow you to see how much our Father loves His children. He redeems our pain, grief, and sorrow with unexplainable peace and joy! He will fulfill His promises, sometimes asking us to just hang in there a little while longer! Treiva Williams shares her heart and miraculous healing journey in “Miracles Still Happen.” Our “Let Your Light Shine” feature Tracci Johnson teaches us what it really means to trust Him. And Dr. Dharius Daniels blesses us with a powerful devotion! Thank you to all our contributors; we are so grateful for you!
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In this Holiday issue, you will get to meet so many amazing and virtuous women whose powerful stories will leave you feeling refreshed, and they will share the most precious gift of all this holiday season: the unconditional love from our Heavenly Father! Happy Holidays to you and yours from the MB Mag Family!
- STACY SORRELL-MOORE , Editor-In-Chief Mindblowing Magazine | 9
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In 2019 our founder, Lavencia Ferguson, was searching for meaningful
GOD’S FAVOR
streetwear pieces and found the options very slim. The fashion market
was full of meaningless concepts and negative graphics. Channeling her love for fashion and her devotion to her faith, she decided to create her own line. Having launched two apparel brands previously, she was no stranger to creating memorable garments.
Growing up in church and living with women who knew how to
make something out of nothing fueled her creativity to create Citizens of Heaven. She wasn't looking to promote "religion" but was more
focused on relationships and building community with fashionforward believers from all walks of life. Lavencia wanted them to be part of a
lifestyle where they could confidently express their faith with quality, style, and comfort. She went on to create wardrobe solutions that
transcend pop culture and shift how people view faith-based fashion, providing them with a little piece of heaven on earth. Connect with C ITIZ E N S O F HE AVE N IG: @citizensofheavn FB: @citizensofheavn Store Location: Carolina Place Mall, Level 1 11025 Carolina Place Pkwy, Pineville, NC 28134
Photography: Image of Lavencia Ferguson – Michelle Lyons/Lyons Den All other images were taken by Lavencia.
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TRUTH OF IT all with SHAMEKA DWIGHT
Shameka Dwight’s latest single, “Truth of It All,” was independently released July 22, 2022, on all major music platforms. “Truth of It All” was written and produced by Shameka Dwight, along with added production by Kenny McWilliams of Archer Avenue Studios in Columbia, South Carolina. “To record this song with Kenny was a full circle moment for me,” Shameka says. “We recorded my first album Lovelations together in 2011, before I left my hometown of Columbia, South Carolina. Having moved to Houston, Los Angeles, Dubai, UAE, and recently Atlanta, I felt pulled to reach out to Kenny to create my next project. He’s always been able to tap into my core sound, and working with him was a complete joy.” “Truth of It All” speaks of that moment when you’ve learned to trust your intuition, that gut feeling you’ve ignored in the past because your heart and intellect were in conflict with one another. It’s the inner conversation you have while being at a crossroads, realizing you were here before, but understanding you are now mentally in a space to make a better decision. This song speaks of the journey we’re all on to appreciate the past, learn from the past, and to embrace the unknown of the future. “I believe God gives us intuition to know what decisions need to be made. But oftentimes, we may not understand why, or have proof of the outcome, and the opinions of those closest to us can weigh on our decisions,” Shamika shares. “I’ve learned to just trust myself, trust my intuition, without needing to know every detail. I apply this to my relationships, friendships, future
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endeavors, as well as dreams that have yet to be realized. It is important to be in touch with God, with who He created you to be, and with what He designed you to do. It’s important to trust that.
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AVAILABLE NOW
on all digital music platforms (including Spotify, Apple Music, Tidal, Amazon) For Booking: sd@shamekadwight.com
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“And those he predestined, he also called; those he called, he also justified; those he justified, he also glorified. What, then, shall we say in response to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us?”
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THE GIRLFRIEND’S CORNER The journey to gaining new friends can sometimes seem strenuous. The ups and downs, curves and minefields, can even entice us to cancel the idea altogether and print a T-shirt for every day of the week that reads “No New Friends”! Sometimes we’re tempted to reconsider the idea that women can build together and/or maintain, especially when personal struggles show up as overly messy distractions. But I guess you can call me relentless because even with the past disappointments I’ve faced, I still welcome the beauty of gaining new girlfriends. Afterall, I did create “The Girlfriend’s Corner” column and tour. Listen, we all have issues, and we all want to find refuge, love, and understanding in the heart of a true friend. Even when our bleeding pours onto others more than they can sop up in their own strength. At times, some of us will camouflage our hurts and troubles yet still take them everywhere we go:
into every room, friendship, relationship, and opportunity, especially when the issues aren’t dealt with and allowed to fester. Nonetheless, when we do deal with them, we can lead with a better version of ourselves and be the kind of person that brings love, positivity, and support to the connections we’re blessed to encounter. Being accountable and holding others accountable come only when we do the work. We can’t go into every situation pointing the finger at others. We must be honest with ourselves first to recognize the areas where we need to grow or do some repairing. If we don’t, past disappointments will paralyze our disposition, prohibiting us from so much more. Women need other women; we absolutely benefit from women who are honest enough to identify what hasn’t worked and continue to hold themselves to a standard that creates teachable moments and growth. Knowing ourselves, our flat spots as well as our strengths, is half the battle, even if you need to trek through some bad experiences or still need time and prayer to get to the place where you can work to develop a better you. What we can do together outnumbers what we can do alone, but we allow so many other things to interfere with why we should come together in the first place. When I first started this column, it was my heart’s desire to put my vulnerabilities into words and create a space where women could come together to see a piece of themselves, do the work, and feel safe while doing it. Not to tell y’all all my business, lol! I knew how impactful it was for me when I had the opportunity to sit in the presence of other women who were transparent about life. It shook up something inside me in my own journey
but also made me realize we need more of that in places that attract us. When we get to surround ourselves with this type of transparency, it creates an atmosphere that makes us get real about the areas that need surgery as well as the ones that need amputation. Reexamine yourself often so you can continue to do the work that allows the “better” you to reach back and help others. We all have a story from our book of life being written, but what are you doing with yours? How many times have you gone through something that allowed you to gain wisdom and come out even stronger as a result? Perhaps an experience that birthed another level of knowledge and determination, which remains unmoved by the sight of opposition. Here’s the thing: we don’t survive what we go through to not talk about it. I know you may never want to revisit some things, but if you’re still here to talk about it, the enemy didn’t win. The glory still belongs to God! “The Girlfriend’s Corner” was designed to be the safest corner on the block, where we can keep growing together. Life will continue, more living will happen, but we don’t have to do life alone or remain stuck. Your community of girlfriends is being created to bring revelation and healing to the chapter you may be walking in — all to create a powerful story. So, I want to hear from you, and the only way to do so is to step down and make room. That’s why I’ve reached the decision to step away from writing for “The Girlfriend’s Corner” in every issue of Mind Blowing Magazine to hear new stories yet to be told. Thank you for the opportunity to share pieces of my life with you. I’m excited to continue with the tour and serving as the magazine’s Editorial Director. My prayer is that you were able to take something away that made a difference in your faith walk and will always keep a posture that welcomes other women, handling them in a way that reflects the love of God.
XOXO, apRil The Girlfriend’s Corner Submissions You don’t have to be an author, just transparent about what God has walked you through. Please provide 500–700 words along with a 300 DPI hi-res image of yourself saved in a JPEG or PDF format. Email your submission to the following email: girlfriends@mbmagmedia.com
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Jesus our advocate ; in all cases by TARI COX, M.A.
Philosophy would argue that what makes us human is our ability to reason and exercise moral judgment. While a perfect consensus in decision-making across us all is impossible to achieve, each of us carries the longing to be handled justly, even if our actions are the ones unjust. For even the toughest, a yearning to be handled with care remains. The most empathetic are still wired to be able to detect when they are wronged. And regardless of the course of life and what routes we find ourselves journeying, we are met with inevitable moments where someone’s “right” is our “wrong.” We are confronted with moments where someone’s advances are simultaneously our loss.
The truth is, one doesn’t have to be wronged by a person to experience the impact of unfairness. Accepting the will of the Father means accepting His ways are unlike our own. However, the conglomerate of emotions that comes with unjust and unfair moments, such as anger and confusion, provide a home for a root of bitterness to exist — where pain meets anger. Remaining far from dismissive of these emotions, Jesus invites us to journey through them with Him while coming to know Him as our Advocate when we are mishandled, even when we think He’s the one doing the mishandling. He is not naive to why we feel justified in our pain, though He’s the only one worthy enough to bring justice. Similarly in therapeutic settings, clinicians often assume the role of an advocate on the behalf of the client. Not only is this asserted in judicial matters, but also within the therapeutic dynamic itself. The client is consistently accompanied by statements, opinions, and insight that are rooted in their best interest, even in the midst of disagreement in perspective or action. When we are wronged, Jesus isn’t on the hunt for reasoning to determine whether or not the cause is valid. He has already chosen to be your Advocate before you are confronted with a need for defense.
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You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you that you should go and bear fruit and that your fruit should abide, so that whatever you ask the Father in my name, he may give it to you.” —John 15:16 Having Jesus as our Advocate doesn’t negate the questions and moments of frustration we may feel. Here are several reminders for the challenging moments of what’s unfair or goes unheard, even if you’re the guilty one:
MIND, BODY, SPIRIT
1. Just because it’s unheard, doesn’t
mean it’s unnoticed.
Feeling that our side is the one that goes unaddressed can be one of the toughest battles faced. Trusting that when our voice is unheard — yet the outcome has already accounted for it — can make it challenging to believe in faith. When faced with situations as such, may we trust God in His omniscience that what appears unheard on this side of heaven does not go unnoticed by Him. “Even before a word is on my tongue, behold, O Lord, you know it altogether.” —Psalm 139:4, ESV
2.When it feels unfair, know that it’s still good. Every work of the Father’s hand is birthed from His goodness. Therefore, we can trust that even what we deem unfair is part of His perfectly orchestrated plan for us to experience more of Him at His fullness. When we are challenged, we can find assurance in knowing that we have a Father who doesn’t miss a beat when it comes to lavishing us in His goodness, even when we are faced with injustice. “The Lord is righteous in all his ways and kind in all his works.” —Psalm 145:17, ESV
3. Even when you’re the guilty one, He still advocates for you. The beauty of the cross is that it’s a finished work for all who accept Christ. It’s not conditional to those who receive Him or only available to all who recognize their need. When we find ourselves on the other side of the fence, even if we’re well-meaning or simply in a season that has jeopardized decision-making, may we find assurance that He still proudly advocates for us. “My little children, I am writing these things to you so that you may not sin. But if anyone does sin, we have an advocate with the Father, Jesus Christ the righteous.” —1 John 2:1, ESV
The truth is, one doesn’t have to be wronged by a person to experience the impact of unfairness. Accepting the will of the Father means accepting His ways are unlike our own. May we find confidence, assurance, and comfort in knowing that those found in pursuit of Christ will be forever covered by His defense. May we find peace in knowing that our side will always be in consideration, closest to His heart, and accounted for in His promises. May we know that His truth also deems Him our Advocate.
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daNeILs the puRpose is
just begiNNING by TONI EMEHEL Photography by ROBIN V.
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apRil danieLS
On September 3, 2019, God did a thing: He shook the world as we know it for the music, media, and entertainment industries. Most importantly, it reframed life for television personality April Daniels, founder of the Rock Out With Me movement and wife of legendary Grammy Award winning songwriter Lashawn Daniels. “When tragedy strikes, you can’t see past the next 10 minutes,” explains April. “There was a point where I was like, I don’t even know what to do. So, I am just going to sit here and soak in whatever this is. The emotion of it all. The hurt. The pain. The disappointment …” April was walking into her 8th day. Her 8th day, a day synchronously marked by abrupt endings and startling new beginnings. Ecclesiastes 3:1–8 (KJV) tells us:
“To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven. A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted; a time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up; a time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance; a time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing; a time to seek, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away; a time to rend, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak; a time to love, and a time to hate; a time for war, and a time for peace.” As April and their sons opened their eyes and awakened to start their 8th day, no calendar was there to mark the incoming season clos-
ing in on them, with expected landfall just a few short hours away. “When you go through times of adversity, it’s very easy to ask, why is this happening to me?” shares Omarr Rambert, the eldest of April’s sons. “Having the ability to adapt and not being set on what we thought things would look like is how our family has been able to pivot during the most pressing time of adversity in our lives.” Jett, April’s youngest son, chimes in, “When Dad passed, Mom did not really get a chance to pause and check on how she was really feeling. Her mothering instincts kicked in as she became highly focused on making sure that me and my brothers were straight. I feel like she is in a pivotal moment of her life right now where she is checking on self, making moves and living her life.” Tahshon gives a chuckle of astonishment, reflecting on how April has adapted to this new season in her life, “Yes, she has been going ham! … Mom has helped all of us to get better. Now, it’s her time.” Omarr concludes, “I [can] speak for me and my brothers when I say that we are super proud of her.”
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a time to
Laugh
No one but God gets credit for the emergence of the well read, seasoned, and focused version of April N. Daniels whom we see today: mother, inspirational leader, Editorial Director of MB Magazine and MB Mag Media, visionary and principal designer of Eight: New Beginnings Athleisure Line for women, and author, founder, and mastermind producer behind The Girlfriend’s Corner (a global movement to inspire and uplift women from all walks of life). Oh, and her latest release … AND Essentials, a newly developed beauty and wellness product line founded by April N. Daniels herself! The very initials of her name signify that, when it comes to April N. Daniels, the impact of God’s work through her hands knows no end. The depth of April’s purpose did not end with the death of her husband, as she herself proclaims: “The purpose is just beginning.” MB MAGAZINE: The April Daniels the world sees today is a very different person than the April Daniels the world saw in 2019. Share with us the turning points of your life during that season. APRIL DANIELS: “When a very large piece of yourself dies, you tend to want to die with it. Although God has removed a large part from my life … looking back, He has given me so much more. I thank God that I don’t look like what I’ve been through! I am in my right mind. I can still smile. I still cry. And I am still living. Unfortunately, it took my husband’s transition for me to get to this next chapter that God had for me to come into my own. Only a few people will really understand what that means.” For anyone who does not understand what that signifies, it simply means this: as God declared “Purpose Fulfilled” for the life of Lashawn Daniels, the fullness of God’s plan began to unfold for the life of his wife more progressively. God’s plan found April carefully curating her steps to grow roots in the real estate industry. In the months leading up to September 2019, April spent time preparing to sit for a state licensing real estate exam, which would enable her to become a licensed real estate broker. However, for all the incredible feats and blessings God has established April to accomplish through her life does not, did not, and never will require a real estate license. His plan only requires April to be authentically who He created her to be. April’s plan required that she retain enough knowledge to achieve a passing score of 80% on the two-part test. Attaining a passing score was sufficient for April to become who she desired to be. However, God’s plan required 100+% of April’s trust in Him, 100+% of trust in herself, and 100+% faith in what He could accomplish through her. No class, degree program, nor licensing exam could have qualified April for God’s assignment. Her matriculation could only come from what was buried deeply within her.
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In His timing, God plucked April up to redirect where she was growing her roots. He then planted her in a greenhouse of life experiences to increase her knowledge of self and of those around her, and to root her knowledge in Him. In the spirit of Ecclesiastes 3, April’s maturation process required that she first understand that“ to everything there is a season … a time to be born, and a time to die.” In this, April had to reach a level of resolve in letting go of the most significant and most fulfilling relationship of her life: her marriage to Lashawn Daniels. Lashawn’s purpose on earth was complete. In fact, he lived his life in such a way that the effects of his works remain perpetual. So, to be clear, April’s purpose had nothing to do with Lashawn’s death; rather Lashawn died because he had fulfilled the Master’s plan for his life. So, God let him off early to obtain his just reward: “Well done, thou good and faithful servant (Matthew 25:21, KJV).
frain from embracing. Nobody knows the heart of man like God. While April wept, there were those who proclaimed to love her husband yet cast stones at her immediately following his death. These opportunities carved the pathway to elevate April’s knowledge of the fallen nature of man and the spiritual condition of those around her. While some waged war, God showed April that it was a time for peace. While others seized opportunities to tear down, April found herself gathering stones to build up. Those are the stones on which she stands today — rendering herself approved and building an imprint that gives God the glory for what He has accomplished in and through her life.
The ensuing days following Lashawn’s transition provided many opportunities for April to discern and understand God’s Word as it relates to a time to keep silent and a time to speak; a time to love, and a time to hate; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing; a time for war, and a time for peace. We have all heard it said that weddings and funerals are two of the most challenging times for families to navigate in love and peace. Through it all, April chose to be the person God knows her to be. She chose peace. APRIL DANIELS: “At Lashawn’s memorial, I remember going up on the stage to have words. Pastor Furtick took my hand to help me up the steps. As soon as he grabbed my hand, I heard Lashawn say, ‘Be who you are supposed to be in this room.’ That instantly changed everything for me. There was a lot of foolery going on from family and friends, and it had me steaming inside. My mission when I got up on the stage was to speak to the issues. I was getting ready to drink the Kool Aid right along with them, but many times I heard Lashawn telling me to ‘just let it go.’ It was that same peace that told me, ‘Do not let them change who God said you are supposed to be in this season, in this moment, in this room, in this circumstance. I don’t care what it is … stay the same.’ It was a bit of a tug of war, but I felt Lashawn’s presence. So many things were coming at me left and right, it was just CRAZY! But, I was like, it’s okay. Let them have it. It’s fine. I kept my silence. I surprised myself. I kept my peace. It was challenging. I chose to be me.” Among his last words concerning his wife, Lashawn told audiences across all social media platforms [@bigshiz], “I love so that she can live.” These very words made clear the desires of Lashawn’s heart. As God continued growing April through His process, He taught her that there is a time to embrace, and a time to re-
the
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keep LIVING
apRil
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Reflecting on her growth, April shares with MB Magazine that “God’s purpose for me wasn’t to be this amazing man’s wife during this season. It felt very purposeful for me. It was fulfilling for me, but God said, ‘No. The purpose is just beginning.’” Lashawn and April relocated their family from Los Angeles to Charlotte, North Carolina, in 2017. I reminded April that she was in “chill” mode when she and her family arrived, and even jokingly accused her of trying to seamlessly fit in on the sidelines. APRIL DANIELS: [Responding with laughter] “Yes. When we relocated to Charlotte from LA, it was like we had been on the front lines in the Vietnam War. Lashawn and I had taken so many blows. I was like, Listen, either we are leaving [LA] or I’m leaving you! We always knew that LA wasn’t permanent for us. I got to the point where I was like, I can’t stay here anymore. So, when Omarr graduated from Pepperdine and started his career at UCLA Law school, Lashawn and I moved to Charlotte along with Jett. “God knew where the family was, and He knew what we needed. We just wanted to be poured into. We had given every last drop [jokingly] in California. Lashawn was trying to get us to a safe place, under a pastor where we could all grow in our faith and be strengthened. He had considered Dallas, Texas, but ultimately decided on Charlotte, where we became a part of Elevation Church. For the first time in our faith walk, we were able to watch a pastor as a family and everybody get something out of the Word. Coming to Charlotte, we didn’t want to do anything. We were okay with no one knowing who we were. We just really wanted God to pour into us, and He absolutely did that for us instantly. He wasted no time.” As fate would have it, I was leading a women’s Bible study eGroup for Elevation Church in 2017. Shortly after she arrived in Charlotte, April joined my eGroup. She entered the doors of my home out of a thirst for God; however, she was in protection mode. Life in Los Angeles had caused her to engage defense mechanisms of denying herself. April did not want to be noticed by anyone. She wasn’t hiding her identity, but she did not want her identity known. She did not want any celebrity introductions … she simply wanted to be. From approximately 2017 to 2019, April was in a season of healing, having left the toxicity of life in LA and now dealing with the tragic transition of her husband in Charlotte. MB MAGAZINE: How did you ultimately find healing, especially in the midst of processing Lashawn’s transition? APRIL DANIELS: “I started videotaping myself every day.
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I did video journaling because I was intentional about wanting to get from where I was. My goal was not to forget what I had with my husband, but I needed to move away from the familiar place of pain and emptiness. I go back, even to this day, and look at those videos, and I’m like, Jesus! Wow! Eventually, I got tired of looking at myself in that state. “When God was not so present telling me, ‘Come on. You got this. Get up,’ I used those videos of myself to challenge myself to get up. To improve. To progress. To look better than I did yesterday. To feel better than I did yesterday. To sound better than I did yesterday. I took note of myself. “The video journal was part of, but not all of, what it took to move me out of my state of pain and disbelief. It also took the words of my dear brother MAJOR. saying, ‘April, keep living.’ I felt like I had a tug of war within me. Obviously, I wanted to keep living. Especially given that I now have sons who are looking at me to be that leader that my husband used to be.” JETT DANIELS: “Everyone grieves differently. Being as young as I am, I’m definitely still trying to develop my relationship with God. However, I believe that having a relationship with God and relying on Him when tragedy strikes is key. Even though I believe that everybody experiences bouts of grief for the majority of the rest of their life when they lose a loved one, I believe that bottling up emotions can and will prolong your grief. It is important to find a way to express your emotions in a healthy way. I have found that the key is leaning on my relationship with God and my faith in Him, even when I may not feel that I fully know the Word.” TAHSHON DANIELS: “It’s important to get your head right. Even though you are grieving, you can’t neglect your mental health.”
a time to
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MB MAGAZINE: Let’s talk about your now season. APRIL DANIELS: “I have always been a sower. Lashawn was a sower, too, but we didn’t go walking around telling everybody about what we did. Giving was our posture. When Lashawn transitioned, I felt like the outpouring of all the things that were coming my way — the opportunities, the love, the purpose — came full circle as if it was the payback for all the sowing that we did. “I am still walking in the season where God is preparing a seat at a table for me. A table that I didn’t even know I would be able to sit at. It’s amazing. I’m amazed at what God is doing. I’ve always wanted to do something with fashion. I thought, if it was going to happen, it would have been during the time I was on TV. Well, that came and went [in laughter] and a whole lot of other stuff! I’m like … okay, maybe not! “I totally let it go and told myself it’s not going to happen. So, when this company, Sew Sew You, reached out to me and was like, ‘We want to do a line with you’ … “I was like, Oh, what’s the catch? What’s the fine print? “So, having the opportunity to launch my own clothing line came to fruition. I’m actually about to launch my third line with them in 2023. I currently have an amazing fall/winter line and a summer/spring line. I could not be more pleased. “I also decided to get into the beauty and wellness industry. I’ve been a licensed cosmetologist for 26 years. I haven’t been operating in my gift, but I have maintained my license. AND Essentials is my beauty and wellness brand. It’s a product line that brings the essentials people need from the inside out. I’m super proud of that. One of the products is my hair oil formula, which I have been using on my own hair for years. So, I have been my own guinea pig! Everybody is like, ‘Wow, your hair is like growing and growing good!’ I’m like, Yes! Make sure you remember that when I drop my new products! “I have some other things in the works, but being able to be a part of MB Magazine has been super exciting for me. One of the things I have always been so hard on myself about is that I graduated from high school a year early, but I did not go to college. I have always been like, Who does that and don’t go to college? The enemy loves to use disappointments from your past to keep you as a prisoner. So, my accomplishments with the magazine, being Editorial Director and seeing what we are able to do as a team, has been God’s reminder to me that that piece of paper doesn’t 40 | Mindblowing Magazine
define His purpose for my life. life. So, I can let that go and be okay with it. With that confidence, I am also authoring a new book that is set to be released in 2023.” MB MAGAZINE: How did the Girlfriend’s Corner Tour come into being? APRIL DANIELS: “You know, it’s crazy because I was doing Rock Out With Me when I was in LA and took a break when it was at its peak. A lot of people were like, ‘This is not the time to take a break,’ but it became so political for me. There were people involved that wanted me to do certain things or have certain people be at the forefront of the project, when in reality their agenda did not align with the vision of the movement. When it became toxic behind the scenes, I was like, I’m cool. I’m going to sit this one out. “Fast forward, when I started writing the Girlfriend’s Corner column for MB Magazine, the Editor-in-Chief, Stacy Sorrell-Moore, wanted to create an event to associate with the magazine. The event would allow us to really be able to touch people, go out, shake hands, kiss babies, and do all that stuff in ministry that the magazine can’t do. Since I was already writing the Girlfriend’s Corner column and still had my following from Rock Out With Me, we decided to make the Girlfriend’s Corner an event. Really, the Girlfriend’s Corner Tour is Rock Out With Me all grown up. It’s the ultimate girlfriend’s night out on steroids.” MB MAGAZINE: What’s next for April Daniels in terms of love and relationships? APRIL DANIELS: “Lashawn and I talked about that, and there was never a point where either one of us said, ‘Stop living.’ I did tell him that he better not be walking around here with one of my friends [laughing], but I never said, ‘Stop living’ and vice versa. Truthfully, I have really been locked in with making sure that April does not need a man for anything. I have always been that girl … I don’t need you, but I want you to be in my life. So, when you’ve been able to be an at-home mom and wife for 20 years … uh, yes [the standard is high]. “Some may be like, ‘Oh, she’s gonna need somebody now.’ I’m like, No, God’s got me. I’m all about me and my business right now: creating business, maintaining business, and increasing business. That being said, the human side of me acknowledges that it can be very lonely sometimes. I had an amazing husband. So, the desire to be loved in that capacity is no stranger. These women out here talking about, ‘I don’t need no man …’ you are lying [jovially speaking]! Because I miss my husband lying next to me every
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no, GOD’S GOT ME.
night. Even when we weren’t talking to each other because we were mad, I enjoyed being able to look over at him and wanted his body next to mine. So, the human part of me does miss companionship. “So to answer your question, I am not looking, but I am open if it comes around. And I am a package deal. God knows how much I loved love. I loved being Lashawn’s wife. I believe that marriage is an amazing thing. I loved being able to be submissive to a man who honored God first and foremost in his life. I know that submission is a hot topic out here in these streets, but it is so misunderstood. When you’re submitting to the right one, it doesn’t feel like submission. In that regard, I trust God and His timing. MB MAGAZINE: You said you come as a package deal. Can we talk about your three Kevin Costners [The Bodyguard] … the Daniels’ sons? APRIL DANIELS: “Oh boy! I love my sons. They’re just so special. Not because they are my kids but because they really are great sons. They have all taken a different path of grieving, but they are honest about it. Even though their blood is different, their bond with one another is something that should be admired. The heart of Lashawn is in all of them, and it expresses itself the same. I couldn’t be any more proud of them.” TAHSHON DANIELS: “Well, I’ve just been focusing on my little girl for real right now. She’s almost three years old. She’s growing up so fast. Every day is something different. As far as music, I took a little break after my dad passed. I just recently started going back into the studio. I had been doing some work behind the scenes, writing and producing for other artists. But now, I’m about to start dropping music again. I’m excited to start releasing new music and to be doing my own thing.”
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APRIL DANIELS: “Tahshon is now a father and a husband. Before Lashawn passed away, Tahshon was putting out a song every Friday. “He was doing his thing every Friday where he was dropping a song.”. He’s getting back into his groove and getting ready to put out a project. I am just so honored to be Tahshon’s bonus mom.” OMARR RAMBERT: “I graduated law school in 2020 in the middle of a pandemic. COVID kind of robbed me of the joys of a graduation. But it’s okay. I was able to celebrate with family. I am working at a large law firm, Sheppard Mullin, dealing with high-level corporate clients as part of the firm’s entertainment group. The caliber of clients are like Paramount, Showtime, Spotify … the heavy hitters in the entertainment industry. It’s really cool work. I’m finally doing what I set out to do. It’s satisfying and fulfilling to know that you are on a mission and then be able to say, ‘This is exactly what I wanted to accomplish.’ Seeing it all come into fruition has been amazing.”
APRIL DANIELS: “Yes, Omarr is extremely busy. So much so that when I call him, he’ll send me straight to voicemail. I’m like, huh? [jokingly looking puzzled]. He’s talking about, ‘Mom, you can’t call me at work.’ “I said, ‘What do you mean, I can’t call you? What’s your boss’s number? I need to call him.’ “He’s like, ‘Who gets calls at work?’ “I said, ‘Every American in this world gets calls at work.’ But Omarr won’t take a call at work [laughingly]. So we’re struggling a little bit with that.”
JETT DANIELS: “I just graduated from high school. It was a great journey. I will say that I’m extremely proud of myself, but it’s a very weird transition considering that most of my friends are still in high school. So, I always forget that their schedules don’t always align with mine. I’m getting ready for college, and I’m planning out the rest of my life.”
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APRIL DANIELS: “Jett actually graduated a year early. He decided to do his first year of college online from home because I’m in the process of building a home, and he wants to make sure that Mom is okay before he leaves. “I am so honored to be in my sons’ lives. I’m even more honored that God has allowed me to love on them and to be somewhat responsible for some part of how they are. My heart is to make sure they are raised well and love someone’s daughter the way that Lashawn loved me.” April Daniels is in her 8th day. A day of starting new beginnings. A day and season of walking into the purposes God has for her. Catch the full interview with April Daniels on MB Mag Media. Follow April on IG @iamaprildaniels to be among the first to get updates on her upcoming book release. For access to AND Essentials wellness and beauty products, log onto www.andessentialsbeauty.com. Mindblowing Magazine | 51
dear
HEART by MARQUITA MOORE
Thank you for being open to the changes that God needed to make, to reshape you back to the original design He intended for you. He wanted your whole heart, and you have understood what it means to share it completely with Him … in ways you never thought possible or knew you needed to do. It takes a lot of courage and trust to be seen fully, to embrace what is seen, and to release the things you thought you needed but do not serve you, allowing yourself to be freed. No more wandering. You gladly moved to the other side — the other side where fear and doubt still exist in the atmosphere. But you do what you must not to live from there. You are at the place where you look to the Creator for correction, protection, and provision, and that sounds like an easy switch: 1, 2, 3. But it wasn’t. It required trust that had to be mined from all those hard places that encased you and grew harder and harder by the day. One of the reasons that made it so hard was you were unaware of the shell that was thickening. Now you know. Awareness is golden. It takes a lot to live from the truest, most vulnerable part of you. You had the courage to change and to show up differently amongst your family and friends. You weren’t used to pioneering certain ground; you are always content with just helping, just assisting. Now you are taking the lead in your own life. This has not been the easiest thing to do. You have lost people, relationships have changed, you keep changing, you’ve been misunderstood and at times sad, depressed even, but you have had to learn to be okay with this, and to mourn and heal over and over again. You are doing it. Take a moment to bask in how you feel. Feels good, doesn’t it? You are learning to live like you know that you know that you are made in His likeness. “Created in the image of God” has taken on a
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deeper understanding and meaning. We all look like Him when we move from our higher selves, embodying His nature. Your energy is aligned and will just keep aligning with truth. You understand that even if you do not utter one word, your spirit speaks volumes; words have become more insignificant than you ever thought they would. It’s how you put love into action that’s important. The road to live life — in the fullness of connection to His power and guidance — has not been easy, and yet here you are, showing up strong. Even on your weak days you are strong. This walk will continue to unfold and evolve you deeper into relationship with Him. Every day feels like a different experience of Him at this stage. Man, it’s amazing. You’ve had moments when you felt you just could not go on, but you did. You fought back all the things inside of you that were telling you to stop pressing on, and you kept moving. It’s normal to want to give up. You are human. A lot of times we humans forget we are just that, and we judge and criticize the smallest of mistakes. But you learned to stop condemning you. You saw you were living according to the rules of darkness when you condemned and judged yourself so harshly. You started taking all your needs, all your mistakes — those times when you felt you got off track — and all your remorse to the high place to be washed in light, and you began to see the purpose in it all. Your sight has moved from Hindsight to Insight and you are learning to foresee what God is doing, which is making you even more patient and trusting. Your faith has been tested for endurance and for your ability and willingness to be trusted. You desired to be stronger in God: tightly connected. You opened your whole heart. Now you understand when your grandmother would utter, “Have your way, Lord.” Did you ever think you could learn to trust like that?! Beautiful, isn’t it? You know His love for you is certain and sure. It’s no longer a question that wakes you in the middle of the night: “Am I loved?” You know you are. You are sure of it. All the things that blocked you from experiencing the love of God, you wanted to see and release. You no longer care about how you may look to others by being forgiving, no matter the level of hurt or pain they have caused. You realize it isn’t about them. It’s about you. And yes, this is often said, but you FEEL what this means. It has be
MIND, BODY, SPIRIT
3:00 PM How I Grew Today: I wrote a letter to my heart today. It was time to reflect and see just how far I’ve come, and to encourage myself to keep going, keep growing.
come your new normal to be free and live life at the highest vibration, with your energy clean and uncontaminated by offense, unforgiveness, grudges, jealousy, envy — all the things that are dark. You see the detriment of your indecisiveness brought on by your lack of trust and belief in who you are, and how linked that is to your ability to ask in faith, to join in agreement with God for the desires of your heart. You used to ask and doubt; now you ask and you believe. And even if/when doubt creeps in, you now see it as an offering. Offering you the ability to know where your faith is weakened and unstable. You have become clear with yourself and others. You move in Divine authority. You have stopped seeing yourself as inferior, stopped telling people what they want to hear at the cost of betraying your own heart because you don’t feel “good enough” and don’t want to be rejected or feel unloved. You move in truth. You know you are loved. You fought to believe in you, to be honest and real with yourself. You may inspire others to believe in themselves, too.
You learned not to look for yourself in things that have faded (past), or in things projected (future). But instead, to rest your gaze upon the present. Here is where the answers are not hidden. They are fully in view. You have committed to align your will to the will of the Creator and be an example of light, acceptance, truth, compassion, joy, happiness, forgiveness and love, just like Jesus. You are walking the way of a Lightworker in its truest, most demystified way. Humanly divine. This is How I Grew Today; may this letter to my own heart inspire you in some way.
May it strengthen you today.
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LET YOUR LIGHT SHINE Mistrust is defined as a lack of confidence; to have no trust or confidence in; to doubt the truth, validity, or effectiveness of; to be suspicious. You, like I, may not even realize that mistrust, specifically the mistrust of God, is rooted in the flawed perception and unsubstantiated beliefs about who He is. This was revealed to Tracci Johnson, celebrity hairstylist and author of Dangerous Mistrust: From the Death of Faith to the Resurrection of Destiny. Voted as one of the top 10 African American stylists in the country, Tracci is also known as one of the 50 most influential women in the beauty industry. Tracci’s salon has been recognized as one of the top 10 urban salons in the nation. She’s known for previously owning Eclipse Salon on Melrose in Hollywood, California. Tracci toured as the key stylist with artists such as EN VOGUE, Babyface, and Pebbles. She also serviced, either in her salon or on sets, celebrities such as CeCe Winans, Lynn Whitfield, Cicely Tyson, Elise Neal, Brandy, Kelly Price, Jada Pinkett Smith, Keisha Cole, Nia Long, Wendy Raquel Robinson, Kelly Williams, Tisha Campbell, Tichina Arnold, LL Cool J and his wife, Simone Smith, and many more. Despite all this success in her business, behind closed doors her private life laid in shambles. The confident persona she presented was cracking. After years of struggling with low self-esteem, insecurities, self-loathing, and sometimes not wanting to live another day, she came to understand she was living her life with a dangerous mistrust of God. Tracci graciously shared her insight on this subject matter recently in a sit-down to discuss her book with MB Mag: A book whose foundation was solidified by her divorce, disappointment, and abuse. A book given to her by God, when one night He woke her up nine times, each time with a thought that would eventually become the corresponding chapters of her book. A book that would take over seven years to develop into fruition.
flawed perceptions, He took a wounded little girl in the body of a woman, and stretched, pounded, bent, and twisted until He reshaped me like a potter’s hand reshaping clay. He broke me down and stripped me of my self-sufficiency. He shined the spotlight of the Holy Spirit on all my dark, ugly, festering wounds, and would not allow me to ignore them anymore. He led me to open the door to all areas of my life that I had not made accessible to Him before because I was afraid to look at them myself. I began to understand that although I was His born-again child, since the age of eight, I spent many of my prime years living with a dangerous mistrust. Everything related to my career has mostly been in the category of an Ephesians 3:20 blessing: exceedingly, abundantly, above all that I could ask for or dream of. Now, it could be said that Tracci’s life turned out just as she wanted it to. As far as my career, yes, I think it did, but there was never a time when my career was enough to chase away the emptiness and self-loathing I struggled with. My career success didn’t keep me from feeling alone and vulnerable. I lived with the stress that at any minute, I would not be able to maintain my charade of having it all together. There were times I struggled to the point of having suicidal thoughts. Some days it was a real task just to get up and get going because I was so tired of pretending. Even though God saw my inward struggles, insecurities, inadequacies, pain, and the tears I cried in the latenight hours, help was not available to me until I let go of my selfsufficiency and asked. The key to Tracci’s success is that she’s guided by peace — no longer turning a deaf-ear to God’s guidance and refusing to have a pityparty, which became an altar for her pain. This altar kept her living in a perpetual state of sacrificing her life for the pain of her present and her past. So, Tracci made the decision to allow her faith in Christ to form her foundation … putting Him first while surrounding herself with people who lift her spiritually and mentally.
SOPHIA RUFFIN
God revealed to Tracci that all the trials, pain, and heartache she experienced (mostly caused by herself, she shares) were not just for her spiritual growth or to draw her closer to Him, but also God’s plan to shape her into a conduit of compassion who could authentically encourage someone else to trust God a little more and avoid some of the mistakes she made. The following is an excerpt from her book: After God exposed my mistrust, and I understood the origin of my
the
Tracci recognized through her trials and tribulations that her purpose is to challenge women to stop walking in defeat, behaving like part-time Christians, and to trust God full-on instead, taking their authority as full-time warriors for the kingdom. You, too, have purpose! Allow God to show you how He will take the pain, heartache, fear, and doubt and turn it into something beautiful for His glory.
“Help my unbelief!” is not a typical cry for help. Be that as it may, this utterance is a prayer of faith that God desires to answer. He can use it as a stepping stone to align your thoughts with His thoughts. You
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Father God, thank you. Thank you that You loved me so much. Thank You that You knew me before I was even placed in my mother’s womb. That You knew me before the foundation of this world. And I thank You that even though we were born sinners, that You sent Your Son to die on the cross for my sins, oh God. Father, I just come saying that I accept the gift of Your Son dying on the cross. I ask that You would allow Him to, to come in and live in me, allow Your Spirit to live in me. Allow Your Spirit to take over me, allow Your Spirit to teach me, allow Your Spirit to move me and guide me. I accept Jesus Christ as my Savior. I accept what He did on the cross. I know that I was a sinner, but I know that Your sacrifice will atone my sins. I thank You, Lord, for coming into my life on this day. And I ask, oh God, that You would make me over. Make me new. Allow me to have an intimate relationship with You. Transform my life from this day. I love You. And I thank You so much for what You’re going to do and what You’ve already done, in Jesus’ name, I pray. Amen.
have a rightful place in the kingdom of God. Now is the perfect time to find it, pursue your purpose, and live the fulfilling life you deserve.
THE PRAYER OF SALVATION
TRACCI: I don’t know if you’ve ever experienced God. I know that some things may be foreign to you or what we’ve discussed, but God loves you. And He wants to know you. He wants to know you in an intimate way, because He does care about you. He cares about every fiber of your being from the top of your head, to the souls of your feet. He loves you. He created you, and He created you to be in a relationship with Him. We were born sinners, but He sent His Son Jesus Christ to die in our place. And all we have to do is accept Him, accept what He did, recognize that we are sinners and He died for us, our sins. He died for us because He loved us so much. He died for us. All you have to do is pray a prayer to accept Jesus Christ as your Lord and your Savior. I’ll pray this prayer. You can repeat after me if you like, but it’s very simple, ’cause sometimes people try to make this such a difficult thing, but it really is not. It’s just admitting you are a sinner and accepting the gift that God has given us in salvation. So bow your heads with me, and I’ll pray this prayer with you. 56 | Mindblowing Magazine
“But if you do not drive out the inhabitants of the land, those you allow to remain will become barbs in your eyes and thorns in your sides. They will give you trouble in the land where you will live.”
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HOME
for the
HOLIDAYS by TAMARA BRADSHAW
My favorite time of year is here! Three big holidays back to back. In October we have Halloween. In November we have Thanksgiving. And in December, we get to completely show off at Christmas, my absolute favorite. With that said, I’ll focus on Christmas and invite you to join me. Over the years, it seems we prep for Christmas earlier and earlier. I felt so behind last year, putting my Christmas trees up in November. Being an influencer yet watching everyone get such a head start was a big wake up call. By the time my home was f illed with Christmas decor, it was almost time to take everything down. My piece of advice is to start early so you get your money’s worth and time to enjoy all your Christmas trees and holiday decor. Definitely have everything done by Thanksgiving so you can soak it all in for two holidays. The trends this year are big and bold ornaments. Large gem bling ornaments. I also see nothing wrong with a beautiful tree lightly decorated for more of a minimalist look. But if you know me, you know it’s glam glam always … LOL. So let’s get back to the glitz. Gorgeous ribbon, all textures and styles. If you’re feeling overwhelmed and not sure where to start, here’s a little help. First, decide on your color scheme. Red and green for a traditional look is always beautiful. Add in silver or gold to jazz it up. Pink and blush colors have become a big favorite the last few years. I did pink and gold two years ago, and added black for a bolder look. Last year I used green and champagne on one tree, and gold and champagne on the other. Royal blue is also a beautiful color you can consider. For one of my trees this year I’m getting very adventurous!! A mix of royal blue, emerald green, red, purple, fuchsia, and gold. I know it sounds crazy. But trust me, it’s gonna be litt! Remember, there are no rules to this! Use your color scheme on your tree and throughout your home to bring the full look together. I love decorating my console tables, coffee tables, and kitchen island. Vases with poinsettias are gorgeous. You can pour Epsom salt in a clear vase, which looks
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like snow, and add beautiful glam picks. Try table settings with bling napkin rings and placemats. I love adding a touch of Christmas to my bedroom, too. A reindeer propped on my TV console and Merry Christmas throw pillows. Or even a smaller tree! Falling asleep gazing at a glowing tree makes me feel so peaceful. The main thing is to have fun with it and remember, this is the one time of year it’s never too much GLITTER. I will leave you with this: Do Not the true meaning of Christmas: about being thankful — thankful Spending time with the people you
Stress … LOL. Remember God Is Faithful. It’s all for life and loved ones. love is what it’s all about.
It’s also a time of giving. That can mean offering your time or donating to the less fortunate. The holidays are a wonderful time for many, but also a less happy time for others. So, before we do anything, let’s all try to do at least one good deed for the holidays in 2022. I will be donating directly to a few families this year. Open your heart this Christmas. Let’s make that a theme!
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Photography by AARON LACY
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MIRACLES STILL HAPPEN When you sit at the table with a miracle, the conversation … let’s just say, it’s different. Such is the case with the mastermind executive, life coach, and series Executive Producer with Black Ink at Paramount, Treiva Williams. While her life’s scroll features many credits, Treiva’s most significant credit lies in her trust and faith in the things of God. Dubbed as “not your average church chick,” Treiva offers God something more than a ritualistic going-through-the-motions in her daily living. As an infiltrator for Christ, she carries her faith into and throughout the marketplace as only she can. God speaks up and through Treiva, off-camera and in spaces within the television industry that would otherwise remain void of His voice. In this Holiday issue of MB Magazine, we invite you to pull up a seat at the table and learn from the life of this modern-day sage. Glean from her wisdom, her triumph, and her journey toward absolution. I encourage you to embrace the Treiva Williams story as a testament of what God can do when authentic faith meets His power in the life of a true believer. Nothing forced. Nothing imagined. Rather, only the truth that comes from experiencing God deeper than the eyes can see. When a mosquito bites you, it feeds off the liquid that gives you life: your blood. While feeding, the mosquito deposits a toxic substance inside you that remains long after the tiny insect is gone. Your body recognizes the harmful deposits as foreign, and the entry site begins to produce an itching sensation, alerting your entire being that something harmful has penetrated the protective barrier. Immediately, your body needs to expel the toxin, but you must make up your mind: resist the temptation to scratch the itch, or scratch in desperation for relief, perhaps leading to life altering infection, permanent scarring, and irreparable damage. MB MAGAZINE: Who were you before you discovered your faith in God? TREIVA WILLIAMS:“My childhood was very troubled. I was born to young teenage parents, and unfortunately, my life was tumultuous with them. There was a lot of back and forth with parents who were still in their rebellious stage of life. Both struggled with addiction issues and struggled with being young parents. Their struggles led me to enduring an abusive upbringing; which manifested in me as rebellion and self worthlessness throughout my teenaged and young adult life. Of the abuse I witnessed and experienced, what was most prominent and the hardest thing for me to shake throughout my life were my mother’s words. Her words are the scars that stayed with me for
+Treiva and husband Big Rocc years. I still feel the itch of the scars from her words every now and again, even at the age of 54. When I look back, faith was with me even before I understood what faith was and before I developed an understanding of who God was for me personally. It was God’s faith for me that kept me even before I had faith in Him.” Exodus 20:12 admonishes us to honor thy mother and father that thy days be long upon the earth. It could prove difficult for an abused child to understand abuse, much less honor her abusers. In Treiva’s case her abusers were her parents. Conceivably, at times in Treiva’s life her heart toward her parents may not have aligned with the honor God requires of a child. Treiva’s mother was not only her first and primary teacher but her source of trauma as well. During the interview, Treiva describes her mother as one who used her position as the primary influencer in her daughter’s life to deposit words likened to cancerous growths.
My motto for life is... This Far by Faith. -treiva williams Mindblowing Magazine | 61
A distinct difference emanates between the itch Treiva fights against today, which stems from the remembrance of her mother’s words, and the pain that Treiva experienced as a child. The distance between the two are marks of absolution more deeply described through Treiva’s story she so candidly shares: TREIVA WILLIAMS: “What God has taught me [regarding my parents] and helped me to accept in His love for me is that I do not have to accept a lack of love from anyone. Even if He used them to birth me. God showed me that I was owed relationship and not just a relative. But God also taught me to have grace for those I couldn’t be in relationship with in spite of. I battled through my childhood, having infrequent encounters with God along the way. I did not get saved until I was 29 years old. October 1997 is when I came into the knowledge of, This is what I’m doing [giving my life to Christ]. This is what this is [salvation]. I know what I’m committing myself to [as a believer].” God’s Word in 2 Timothy 2:17 speaks of the power of words from a false teacher; a false teacher is one who teaches false principles and conveys false information. Operating as a false teacher in Treiva’s life from an early age, Treiva’s mother taught her many falsehoods — about herself and the true meaning of love and family. In her life and within her household there was always a knowledge of God but no examples of love. Without experiencing the comfort of maternal love it is hard to fathom the love of God. Treiva ultimately had to find God & His love for herself. She had to discern His presence in her life before she could understand His being in her life. MB MAGAZINE: Let’s talk about what happened in 1997.
and radiation treatments would cause you to get really sick.
TREIVA WILLIAMS: “I was really, really sick in 1997. I had resigned to the conclusions of the medical report. Doctors told me, ‘We have given you everything that we can.’ I was preparing to go [die].
“Immediately after that, Shanita says to me, ‘God said this is not until death.’
“I was like, ‘Okay, well if that’s done, then I don’t want to do any more radiation. I want to be able to spend whatever time I have left with my children.’ My babies were young at that time. They were around the ages of 3, 5 and 7. So, in my mindset of administration I was like, I need to put this in place and that in place and I knew that I wanted to go to heaven.
“She then asked, ‘Is there anything you want me to pray?’
“While I was at the studio that day, Shanita came in and she looked at me. She said, ‘I just want to pray for you.’ She began to pray for me, and it was a God experience like no other. It was nothing but the Holy Spirit that literally excised what was in me, out of me. After that night I was violently ill. I thought it was merely the aftereffects of the treatments that I had been taking, because taking chemo and
“I was like, [shrugging her shoulders] ‘Umph.’”
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“I just looked at her with a smile. I nonchalantly said, ‘Oh.’
“I responded, ‘I want you to lead me in the salvation prayer because I want to go to heaven.’ “She said, ‘I will. But this is not until death.’
“A couple of days later, another one of my husband’s friends whom he had not talked to in a long time called because she heard that I was sick. At that time cancer was in my uterus area. His friend told us about a doctor by the name of Dr. Chen, who was an Eastern
medicine woman. When I met with Dr. Chen, I didn’t even tell her what I had. She looked at me. She looked at my tongue, and she was touching me. Then Dr. Chen said, ‘Oh, your woman is sick.’ She gave me a bunch of herbs that tasted like dirt! I was drinking the herbal blends she prescribed. I made the tea and did what I could, because my mindset was, I was at the end. So, I was in preparation mode. Anything that was giving me energy to make it to the end I welcomed it. The herbs and teas did just that [increased my energy]. “Then in October 1997 the doctors told me that I wouldn’t make it to my 30th birthday, which was May 1998. I began living in the moment. Time just kept passing. My birthday came. Then June came. Then July came. I was going to the doctor. They were doing tests, and the tumors were shrinking. Then, the doctors were like, ‘We want to do another round …’ “I said, ‘We’re not doing another round of nothing!’ I told the doctors that the only thing I would be willing to do is have a hysterectomy. “They told me, ‘No,’ because I was too young. “I had made it to my 30th birthday, which they told me I would never see. Now there is a concern that I am too young for a hysterectomy? Inside, I knew that I should not have listened to them. I should have
It is the Lord who gives wisdom; from him come knowledge and understanding. - proverbs 2:6 gone somewhere else to get a hysterectomy or advocated for myself because ultimately in 2016 the cancer comes back. It came back and my uterus was completely filled with it.” MB MAGAZINE: What was different the second time around? TREIVA WILLIAMS: “While I was deeply disappointed, I went into it this time with faith and belief in God’s promise that, ‘This is not until death.’ I approached my condition with a better knowledge
“I prepared my body and took 120 days to clean my system. I went vegan. My healing partners during the journey were April Daniels and Diann Valentine. They went vegan alongside of me. I read up on the Mayo clinic and learned about how increased doses of vitamin C acts as a cancer antigen, almost like its own natural chemotherapy that recognizes the good cells. I paid attention. I was prayerful. I listened to God’s wisdom, and I listened to the wisdom of man, understanding that I know where wisdom comes from, whether the person acknowledged it or not. “I told the doctors, ‘I will do the surgery to remove the tumors by means of a radical hysterectomy, but I want four months …’ because God was clear to me on how I needed to prepare my body. God’s power working in my life at that time gave me the strength and confidence to stand up and advocate for myself. I was nervous. Talking to people that supposedly knew more than me. But I walked in the room knowing that nobody knew more about my body than me, other than God. “Even then, doctors were like, ‘It’s only in the uterus, so we are going to leave the ovaries.’ “I was like, ‘Sir, if I wake up and I still have ovaries we are going to have a problem. I want four months to prepare my body for surgery. I want everything removed.’ And that’s exactly what I did. “I realized that God intended for me to learn some things from my journey. I got angry with myself. I got angry with the old doctors. Then I felt guilty. Thoughts of, ‘I should have stood up for myself the first time …’ began to play over and over again in my mind. Something deep inside of me kept saying, ‘I knew it! I knew it would come back if I didn’t have everything removed.’ “While I did not have chemotherapy or radiation in 2016, I am still living with the long-term aftereffects from the first time I underwent chemotherapy and radiation treatment in 1997. I thank God that it was not until death, even though I still deal with the effects of relapsing: progressive multiple sclerosis.” MB MAGAZINE: What is the most important thing that God would have you share from your experience? TREIVA WILLIAMS: “Growing in God has given me such a confidence in the power of my voice and the confidence needed to advocate for myself. Although He is my ultimate advocate, God has put in me the power and strength to stand up and speak up for myself in all things. That’s faith.” If you have ever heard the saying “Good meat makes its own gravy” Mindblowing Magazine | 63
understanding allow her to live in complete forgiveness towards her mother without expectation or necessitation of an apology. Viewing her mother with empathy as the flawed and imperfect woman that she is, who may still be wrestling with her own inner child issues and trauma Treiva’s heart’s desire and prayer for her mother is to know and live in T.R.U.T.H. (Total Restorative Uncompromisable Transformative Healing). TREIVA WILLIAMS: “I want for my mother what she has yet been unable to give me and that is love and acceptance.” My message to parents is that you never know who God has entrusted to sit at your table. Mary had Jesus, not knowing the mantle that He was born to carry. In the case of Treiva, her parents never knew that they had sitting at their table an acclaimed executive producer who would touch the four corners of the earth through a reality television series. They had no way of knowing that they gave birth to a transformational life coach whose works can be experienced around the globe. They didn’t know that unto them was born the future author of This Far by Faith: 31-Day Inspirational Devotional & Journal, a work purposed to help others see God in their everyday life situations.
then you can understand that the Treiva Williams story is best told by the one fashioned under The Potter’s hand. We should all aspire to live to tell the story of God’s grace, mercies, and miraculous works in our lives such as that expressed by Treiva Williams. Everyone will glean from her story differently based on individual life challenges, perspectives, hopes, dreams, burdens, and desires. Treiva’s journey from 1997 to 2016 was God’s course of absolution. She now lives in truth. Her faith in Him was solidified. She was absolved from resentment of herself, her mother, her father, and her life in and of itself. Treiva’s experience has made her an expert and placed her in a position to share God’s graces with others through Live in Truth Coaching, a personal development firm purposed to lead others to transformational, restorative, and uncompressed total healing. Through God’s grace and her father’s recovery and redemptive measures, Treiva and her father enjoy the fruits of a loving relationship. One of God’s most precious gifts to her has been allowing her to know & feel the love of her father and to be a “daddy’s girl”. As it relates to her maternal relationship Treiva’s growth and 64 | Mindblowing Magazine
Regardless of the enemy’s plan, God’s plan has allowed Treiva to live a life of passion and purpose, doing what she was created to do. From being one of the top producers in reality television series such as Mary Mary, R&B Divas: Atlanta, Love and Hip Hop and Growing Up Hip Hop Atlanta to launching her upcoming podcast, God and Gumbo. Treiva credits God for what He has done in and through her life. CONNECT with Treiva: Instagram - @msrocc68 EMAIL TREIVA: info@livingtruthcoaching.com to inquire about her transformational coaching programs.
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PROMO CODE: ELI25 FOR A LIMITED TIME Mindblowing Magazine | 65
shop PREP dine with SHANIKA GRAHAM-WHITE
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SHOP, PREP, DINE
+vegan sweet potato orzo bowl This Vegan Sweet Potato Orzo Bowl is the next best thing for the cooler season! Absolutely comforting, easy to make, and the perfect dairyfree + meatless dinner option. With perfectly cooked orzo topped with roasted sweet potatoes, tomatoes, corn, and flavored with a homemade chipotle ranch dressing, this food bowl is delicious for any occasion.
SHOP ORZO:
1 cup orzo
PREP To Roast Sweet Potatoes Tomatoes + Corn:
8 cups organic vegetable stock 1 teaspoon salt 1 teaspoon black pepper
Preheat the oven to 400 degrees Fahrenheit and prepare a large baking sheet by lining it with parchment paper.
ROASTED VEGGIES: 2 medium sweet potatoes, peeled + cubed 2 cups grape tomatoes or tomatoeson-the-vine 3 cups frozen sweet corn 3-4 Tablespoons extra virgin olive oil 1 teaspoon salt 1 teaspoon black pepper 1 teaspoon garlic powder 1 teaspoon smoked paprika 1 teaspoon dried oregano 1 teaspoon dried basil
Add the sweet potatoes, tomatoes, and corn onto the baking sheet (in a single layer and grouped separately) and drizzle with olive oil and season with salt, black pepper, garlic powder, smoked paprika, oregano, and basil and bake for 25-30 minutes or until the veggies are charred, wilted, and tender. Remove and let cool slightly.
CHIPOTLE RANCH DRESSING: 1 cup vegan mayonnaise 2 Tablespoons almond milk 2 Tablespoons extra virgin olive oil 2 Tablespoons dried chives 1 teaspoon chipotle powder 1 teaspoon smoked paprika 1 teaspoon dried parsley 1 teaspoon garlic powder ½ teaspoon dried dill Pinch of salt
Prep Time: 15 minutes Cook Time: 30 minutes Servings: 2
DINE To Serve + Assemble:
Spoon a bit of the orzo into low bowl(s) or plate(s) evenly, followed by roasted veggies (sweet potatoes, tomatoes, + corn, grouped side by side), and top with drizzle of chipotle ranch dressing. Enjoy!
To Make Orzo: In a saucepan over medium-high heat, bring the veggie stock to a boil. Add the
orzo and let it boil for 8–10 minutes or until orzo slightly swells and is tender. Once done, drain, rinse, and season with salt + black pepper, to taste. To Make Chipotle Ranch Dressing: In a bowl, add together all ingredients and whisk everything together until combined and smooth. Dressing should be easy to drizzle in consistency.
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GLOW THE YEAR OF
by LEANNE DLAMINI
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5
TOP
MAKEUP TRENDS for2022
From barely there to bold, one thing is sure, 2022 has been the year of the makeup glow-up, and girl, did we glow!
It was all about luminous, natural, glowy looks, with bold accents and less of the matte, heavy, complete coverage formulas we've become accustomed to. Here are some of my favorite trends that definitely made the list in '22:
1. Clean Makeup
This look went viral on TikTok and is known as the “clean girl aesthetic.” Essentially, this is your “no makeup makeup look” and is exceptionally minimal. Tinted moisturizer or BB cream, brow product, blush or bronzer, lip gloss, a sleek ponytail or bun, some hoops, and you’re good to go. There’s been some noise around this look, having been culturally appropriated by the West. Women of color have been arguing that we’ve been wearing this look for years. It had no label, yet certain content creators have adopted the look and named it when it’s been our look for the longest time. We’ve been flaunting “natural” flawlessly, and make no mistake, this look ain’t going nowhere.
BEAUTY
2. Fluffy + Sculpted Brow
This look gives your brows a more uniform, fuller shape by setting the hairs, creating thickness and volume to achieve the fluffy, brushed-up look. However, it still ensures you have a sleek but natural, well-kept brow. This look is achieved through brow lamination or textured eyebrow gel/skin paint applied to the skin to define and fill in the eyebrow. - Anastasia Beverly Hills Brow Freeze
3. Blush
Pretty, rosy, flushed cheeks are definitely another trend I love. It’s all about the sunburnt glow, best achieved with a cream blush. Let’s stick to more coral tones to achieve this look.
- Glossier Cloud Paint in Dawn - Charlotte Tilbury Pillow Talk Lip & Cheek Glow in Colur Of Dreams
4. Glossy Lips
A slightly over-lined, nude lip with gloss is how you achieve this natural look. - Dior Lip Glow Oil - Fenty Beauty Gloss Bomb Heat Universal Lip Luminizer + Plumper
5. Barely There Lightweight Foundation
Achieving that natural, glowy look is all about letting the skin have its moment in the spotlight and shine through. Use an undetectable, lightweight foundation to nail this look. Glow, honies … glow!sleek but natural, well-kept brow. - Charlotte Tilbury Airbrush Flawless Foundation - Giorgio Armani Luminous Silk Foundation
Products used to achieve this look:
- Fenty Beauty Eaze Drop Blurring Skin Tint - Benefit Cosmetics 24-HR Brow Setter Clear Brow Gel - Charlotte Tilbury Airbrush Bronzer - Fenty Beauty Gloss Bomb Universal Lip Luminizer
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Community
Calling
What better way to close the year’s Community Calling with MB Magazine than to follow our media correspondent, Lorri Lofton, to the Gastonia, North Carolina, community for a Honey Hunters baseball game. The Gastonia community has a rich baseball history. Its new owner, Brandon Bellamy, is dedicated not only to bringing a new approach to America’s favorite pastime but to help revitalize the West Franklin Boulevard area of Gastonia as well. Lorri had the opportunity to chat with five-time NBA Champion, Hall of Famer, and business mogul Magic Johnson before the game and discuss why it’s important to him to come back again this year to support the Honey Hunters, the city of Gastonia, and his friend Brandon Bellamy. Mr. Johnson responded, “... it’s important because what Brandon has been able to build is amazing. This is a winning team in the heart of downtown, and it’s putting a lot of area people to work in the community, creating jobs and opportunities. So, it’s amazing for me to come back and congratulate the fans for supporting the team, and to also say hello to the community at the same time.” Thank you, Magic, for your time and continued support of the Honey Hunters! We are thrilled to add our support to the Honey Hunters as they continue to build in the local Gastonia community. For more information about the team, please visit www.gohoneyhunters.com. You can also follow them across all social media platforms: @gohoneyhunters
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+ Lorri Lofton & Magic Johnson
Our Media Correspondent met Magic Johnson in Gastonia, NC at a Honey Hunters baseball game.
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by DEIDRE DICKEY
“I pray that God, the source of hope, will fill you completely with joy and peace because you trust in him. Then you will overflow with confident hope through the power of the Holy Spirit.” —Romans 15:13 NLT
There’s a hope waiting for you in the dark.
Kendall, & Tanya to pull you to the safety of a shore where you can see the dawn of hope. Let the waves of their purpose — born from their own moments of deep impact from the abyss of their grief — settle into a peace for you, and allow their perspectives to penetrate the darkness that overwhelms you.
Scripture tells us that we will “overcome by the blood of the Lamb and by the word of our testimony” (Revelation 12:11a).
May the sentiments of these remarkable women inspire the faith of your sure Hope. The Lord God is your Hope! May their words be the balm to encourage your healing. May they bring you the Light to beckon forth unspeakable joy, unfathomable peace, and renewed purpose. For it’s certainly true: there is a sure and mighty hope waiting for you in the dark.
As you navigate the uncharted waters in your sea of grief, allow the voice of testimony that arises from the hearts of Stacy,
“This hope is like a firm and steady anchor for our souls.” — Hebrews 6:19a, CEV
On one hand, this opening line, a beautiful lyric, may sound promising, yet you may feel a bit of indignant skepticism at the probability of its truth for you. Particularly for the brokenhearted dealing with the grief of losing a spouse.
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Hello, beautiful. When I tell you that I completely understand what you’re going through, I really do. I know you are feeling like, when will my life ever feel normal again? I would love to share a beautiful love story with you that just might help. This is how it all started for me … It was on a Sunday, the sun was shining bright, a light breeze filled the air, and I felt such a calmness. After checking in on our children [at home], I returned back to the hospital. When I approached the hospital doors, the peace I was feeling immediately turned into panic, and I didn’t know why. The hospital staff took forever to give me my visitor’s pass, and the elevator ride took longer than usual. As I stepped off the elevator and walked to his bedside, he looked into my eyes with so much love, and I realized how much he needed me to be right there at that very moment. The very instant he took his last breath in my arms, there was nothing the doctors could do. The entire floor was in turmoil, they were trying to save him, but he wouldn’t respond. I tried to tell him to get up, you are strong, you can do this! … all the things I would say to him in our marriage, but this time it wasn’t working. Then I heard these dreadful words: “I’m sorry … he didn’t make it.” And that’s when it happened: “a moment of impact” for me. Within that moment I felt an unbearable pain, a part of me completely gone, and everything moving around me … but I couldn’t move, speak, or hear a sound. For days, for weeks, I felt stuck. I was just there, just existing … does this sound familiar? I was in so much pain, severely wounded and bleeding out everywhere, but no one was seeing me. After the funeral everyone seemed to forget about me; they left me all alone to bandage my own wounds in this fight to survive.
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In that moment I thought my life was over. Every day I woke up in anger because I was hopeful that death would meet me in my sleep. But it didn’t. I kept waking up, and I felt forced to keep going. I would sometimes drive down the highways with no destination. I even attempted to hang out with family and friends like before, but nothing was working, nothing was easing this pain. I had nowhere to turn, no one to turn to, until this special day that changed my life forever. I got down on my knees, I talked to God in my despair, in my anger, and we talked about everything. I just sat there, and why not? I had nowhere else to go. It was just me and Him. I just sat there, day after day, because every time we spoke I would feel an unexplainable comfort and peace. My pain began to ease with each conversation. I couldn’t believe I’d found a solution for my pain — the answer to all my problems. And there it was again: a moment of impact. Do you know what’s on the other side of your grief … trauma … sorrow … shattered heart? It’s Heaven on Earth, a beautiful life with a powerful purpose. It’s why you were created and who you were created to be. I didn’t know a life without my husband. I relied on him for love, advice, direction … everything. I cried out to my Heavenly Father, How can I have a life without my best friend? How can I raise our little babies without him? We made plans to grow old together … we were great together … we were good people. Why me? Why us? And now I am blessed and honored to say “why not me?” Why not? God’s promise is to never leave us nor forsake us. Our Father will never leave us broken, hopeless, or lifeless. He loves us, and He will use all our pain for His good. Prior to my husband’s death I had no goals, no aspirations. I only desired to be his wife and a great mommy, yet I didn’t know my purpose for the Kingdom of God.
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But after his death, I found my purpose, my true reason for being here. The pain only lasted a little while, only for a moment. I know it seems like you will never be the same again, and you won’t. You will be better than you ever were before. I encourage you to seek God, find yourself a quiet place, and talk to Him. And that will be your moment of impact, that’s when your life will shift, and you will begin to mold into the person you were intended to be. That’s what happened to me, my love story, the moment my husband’s death saved my life. I got a chance to really meet my Father, who had been there with me the whole time. I was finally able to sit still long enough for us to talk and to hear His voice. This is the love I’m speaking about — God’s unconditional love for us all. True love! Thank you, God, for Jesus!
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God’s promise is to never leave us nor forsake us. Our Father will never leave us broken, hopeless, or lifeless. He loves us, and He will use all our pain for His good.
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I still remember the exact words of the news anchor who broke the story of my husband’s death on January 12, 2000. “We regret to pass along to you, that Charlotte Hornets shooting guard Bobby Phills has been killed in a car accident …” I watched the breaking news over and over in disbelief that this was really the end of my fairytale love story. The Hornets lost a fierce athlete, the Charlotte community lost a well-loved philanthropist, and I lost my soulmate. How could this be? I was only 28 years old, left to raise my oneyear-old daughter and three-year-old son without the head of my house. The depths of my pain was truly indescribable. How could I ever be able to fill this hole in my soul? Little did I know, God was already ordering my steps to prepare me for a journey I didn’t think I could trek. It was evident the first time I heard the voice of God whisper to my spirit. The Lord had plans for this lil’ country girl from Baton Rouge, Louisiana. Plans to prosper me, plans to give me hope and a future. Losing my husband was something I never saw coming. Bobby was my everything, I loved him more than life itself. Depending on him for my joy and happiness might have been my
biggest downfall, since I now know that man will let you down every single time. It didn’t help either that I really didn’t have my own identity other than as Bobby Phills’ wife. I put my career on hold to be available for my man and to raise our kids. Funny thing is, I was quite content with life until the day Bobby died. A part of me died, too. Now I found myself trying to figure out who Kendall Phills was and what God was trying to do in my life. My spiritual mentors would always share with me Isaiah 43:19. “Look, I am about to do something new; even now it is coming. Do you not see it? Indeed, I will make a way in the wilderness, rivers in the desert.”
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Lord? What new thing are you going to do in my life? My old life was just fine. But as I began to seek God for answers, He made it plain and clear that I wasn’t living a purpose-filled life. That would explain why I always felt an emptiness inside of me that I could never fill with my marriage or lifestyle. You see, although I had the NBA baller whom I emulated and low-key desired his favor, God wanted to show me that greatness lies within me as well. I was always more than just a wife, more than just a mother. The Lord wanted to use ordinary me to do a few extraordinary things that truly blew my mind. One of those divine assignments was starting the Phills Foundation, in memory of my late husband, which was one huge factor in my healing process. I made a promise to God that if I have breath, I would serve those in need and make a difference in the lives of others because this truly gives me my sense of being. In addition to raising two amazing humans who reverence God, I couldn’t be prouder of my offspring, Trey and Kerstie. They have certainly made life worth living and love worth giving. Going to church, Bible study, and prayer have always strengthened my faith. It has been my faith that has sustained me and that has kept me today. The revelation of my identity was revealed to me over time. It was clear to me who I was and to whom I belonged. This was the ultimate game changer. There was nothing I could not do nor a situation I could not pray myself out of. I became empowered, knowing that the Holy Spirit was operating through me. When you know that you know, you will not waiver and will stand any test that may come your way. I am grateful for every trial and tribulation I have faced. It has made me one strong conqueror, and God is not finished with me yet; we are just getting started.
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. IN GOD’S TIMINING HE MAKES NO MISTAKES: My husband has been gone almost four years now. During those moments and weeks after his passing, I know God placed people in my life at just the perfect time. As I reflect back, I can see that circumstances and situations were lined up exactly how they were supposed to be. Navigating each day, I began to recognize my own strength. I took pieces of my husband with me as I completed some of the tasks and projects he had started. Working on those things in his honor made me remember the wisdom he had taught me — what he would do, how he would handle the situation. In your own sorrow, as you walk this journey of grief, you may find that you, as well as friends and family, may want to carry out your loved one’s legacy. I would encourage you to find the area or aspect you loved most about him or your loved one and BE THAT. THE POWER OF A DREAM: Be okay with being still, quiet, and alone with yourself. Fight for yourself for this; sometimes you don’t need other voices around you. Sometimes you need to be still and heal. I dreamt of my husband almost every night. I’m not sure if it was my subconscious or God speaking to me through my husband. But in those dreams my husband guided me through almost every step. I was so stressed out but would wake up feeling as though he or someone else was with me, guiding me. There’s power in sitting still and asking God for signs as well as for strength, help, and wisdom for the things you need to do. It’s okay to do you, and everything else will fall into place. If you’re not having dreams, don’t forget the power of the encouraging words that your spouse used to give you. Remember all those things, play them back in your mind, so you can know that they played a major part of your life. Even though your loved one may be gone, you can apply all the advice and wisdom they taught you.
WHEN YOU TRUST GOD WHOLEHEARTEDLY: I was inspired by April Daniels. She was a light for me. I had an opportunity to meet her, and she was so happy. I didn’t have the strength or courage to reach out to the people in my life who had lost someone and give them words of encouragement because I felt so lost and broken. I felt alone, and every piece of
everything I had was for my daughter, for my business, and for myself. I felt guilty for reserving what little strength I had for myself. I was inspired by April’s journey because she had recently lost her husband as well. I spoke with her and learned that she saturated her mind with God, allowing Him to speak to her, and she followed what she needed to do without guilt. Do you. Grieve how you want as long as it isn’t harmful to you; don’t let anyone tell you how to grieve. Don’t let anyone tell you it’s been long enough. Don’t let anyone tell you that you won’t meet anyone new. If God wants you to meet somebody, He will let you meet them. Don’t sit there and get discouraged and think that life is passing you by. Think positive thoughts, say positive things to yourself, make sure you have your affirmations. I am the QUEEN of Post-Its. I have them all around my house. I remind and affirm myself with who I am. Because when you’re with someone for so long, you’ve become one with them — your identity is together — and I had to find my identity without my husband, Billy. KNOWING WHAT TO LET GO OF: I had to learn to distinguish what to let go of versus what to fight for. I recognized that people were opportunists and would look for ways to prey on you in your grief. I had to make the hard decision to let go of some things that my husband valued but that I wouldn’t be able to sustain in his absence. Material things cannot buy love, support, and family. Take care of your mental health because what you feed your mind is what will sustain you. “Go to work” through your grief; you have to work through the pain. You have to cry sometimes. You have
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to laugh sometimes. You have to find your way, whatever way that is. Don’t feel like you have to grieve the same length of time as someone else grieves. ACCEPTING WHO YOU ARE AND OWNING YOUR FLAWS: I thoroughly enjoyed my husband’s companionship. I loved being married. So without him, I had to learn to be alone so I could discover what I wanted. What have I learned? Many things, but one is that I do want to marry again. You will have your own discoveries to make. And when you do, don’t feel guilty about desiring other things. When we’re seeking God, He will put His desires in our heart so that they become our desires. Allow Him to do that, and don’t feel guilty. REMEMBERING WHAT YOUR SIGNIFICANT OTHER WAS TO YOU: I looked up to my husband; he was and still is a legend to me. He taught me so much. I also stand firmly in saying that I taught him a lot. That makes me powerful. I’m not being cocky, I’m not. I’m just saying we have to know and stand in our power. My husband was a very special person on this earth, and a lot of people really looked up to him. And sometimes people will make you question what you were to your significant other. Make sure you try to find power in remembering everything you deposited into your loved one’s life by looking back to all your experiences you had with them. Then you can move forward, knowing that you had purpose then and you still have purpose left on this earth. Life is short, and you have to do what helps you find peace and true joy, and that’s the day you’ll finally be free. The moral of the story is that we are all grieving in some type of way. Whether you lost your husband, a loved one, a friend, anything … We’re all grieving in some way. You have to learn how to deal with the detours, and navigate through life, in order to do you well. If you stay aligned with God and try to stay present, you will know that nothing you’re doing is a mistake.
You’re still learning and growing every day. No one has all the answers, but you do have to live your life the way you want to live it. Not for anybody else. And choose to Be Happy, make your own mistakes — because that is the only way you will grow. There is no blueprint.
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WORSHIP PLAYLIST
Give Me Faith– Elevation Worship Even When It Hurts – Hillsong United All My Hope – Hillsong Worship Anchor – Leah Valenzuela, Bethel Music You’re Gonna Be Okay – Brian & Jenn Johnson Tell Your Heart to Beat Again – Danny Gokey Your Promises – Elevation Worship I Am Not Alone – Kari Jobe Confident – Steffany Gretzinger & Bobby Strand It Is Well – Kristene DiMarco, Bethel Music
As you ponder and process the impact of these perspectives, remember these next key points and hold firm to the anchor of truth found in Scripture. When you don’t know what or how to pray, pray the following Scriptures out loud … for God’s Word is true and will never fail. God has the power to restore your troubled mind and heal your broken heart.
“All you say can be trusted; your teachings are true and will last forever.” — Psalm 119 :60, CEV
Quiet yourself and sit with God. Listen for His voice. “The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.” — Deuteronomy 31:8, NIV
I walk through the darkest valley, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me.” — Psalm 23:1-4, NIV “Your word is a lamp to guide my feet and a light for my path.” — Psalm 119:105, NLT “For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.” — Jeremiah 29:11, NLT
Have faith in God; He will sustain you.
“My flesh and my heart fail; But God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.” — Psalm 73:26, NKJV
“I lift up my eyes to the mountains — where does my help come from? My help comes from the Lord, the Maker of heaven and earth.” “And we know that all things work together for good to those who love — Psalm 121:1-2, NIV God, to those who are called according to His purpose.” — Romans 8:28, NKJV Everyone grieves; however, everyone grieves
differently. As you heal, it’s okay if you desire
Pray. Be in constant communication with God. companionship again. Expect the goodness of God “Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.” — 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18, ESV
in and for your life.
“Delight yourself also in the Lord, And He shall give you the desires of your heart.” — Psalm 37:4, NKJV
“And my God will supply your every need according to his glorious “Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, riches in Christ Jesus.” — Philippians 4:19, NET with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your “Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.” —Philippians 4:6-7, NKJV of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows.” — James 1:17, NIV It’s a new dawn. Your purpose awaits. “Behold, I will do a new thing, Now it shall spring forth; Shall you not Lastly, remember to heal at your own pace. Take time to learn know it? I will even make a road in the wilderness And rivers in the this new facet of who you are. Most importantly, remember there’s desert.” — Isaiah 43:19, NKJV hope waiting in the darkness. Walk boldly in the fullness of the unspeakable joy, unfathomable peace, and renewed purpose that “Then your light shall break forth like the morning, your healing shall will dawn in your mourning’s light. Hold firmly to the anchor verse spring forth speedily, and your righteousness shall go before you; The that birthed the dawn of hope in this season for you, steadying your glory of the Lord shall be your rear guard.” — Isaiah 58:8, NKJV heart so that your healing may arise:
God has a plan. He will be your guide. Walk in obedience according to His will for your life.
“The Lord is my shepherd, I lack nothing. He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters, he refreshes my soul. He guides me along the right paths for his name’s sake. Even though
“I pray that God, the source of hope, will fill you completely with joy and peace because you trust in him. Then you will overflow with confident hope through the power of the Holy Spirit.” — Romans 15:13, NLT
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God has set up a unique destiny for every one of us, and as you look toward the new year, I challenge you to spend time looking inward rather than outward, learning to embrace your own unique identity rather than trying to change yourself. Internal, lasting, transformational change happens when you love yourself the way God loves you. If you’re wondering where to start, you’re not alone. Many of us have been told our whole life to “be yourself!” while the world was teaching us “hide your differences; act like everyone else!” You were not created to “go with the flow” or conform or hide what makes you different. God planned you. He created you to be uniquely you. Contrary to what the world may have shown you thus far, your differences must be celebrated! This truth will set you free from the confines of the comparison trap or feelings of inferiority. You were designed with purpose for a purpose. Consider the words of David in Psalm 139: “You have searched me, Lord, and you know me.” David understands that his identity, his purpose, and his very thoughts are familiar to God. And he celebrates this. “Such knowledge is too wonderful to me,” (v. 6). Can you embrace yourself, knowing that God made you just the way you are? Know that God designed you to stand out and be truly you, not someone trying to conform to this modern culture’s standards. May 2023 be the year you fight for healing. For many of us, obstacles are standing in the way, making it difficult to fully love and accept ourselves. I find that most wounds fall into four categories: emotional, relational, spiritual, and cultural. Often it begins with emotional challenges, then cultural and relational obstacles and wounds dragging us down while the enemy continues to throw spiritual obstacles in our path. These all contribute to making us feel stuck. We’re spinning our wheels but aren’t going anywhere. These wounds must be attended to because there is no moving forward unless you choose to fight for healing. Join a support group, ask for prayer, or seek help from a counselor. An essential step after you identify these soul wounds is radical forgiveness. How can you fully embrace yourself while holding onto anger, pain, and hurt? That can only end in bitterness
Forgiveness is the only way to release emotional baggage. And I understand, on a personal level, that forgiveness is not always easy or straightforward. Sometimes it takes forgiving someone over and over. But Jesus doesn’t sugarcoat it; He requires generous forgiveness: “For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins” (Matthew 6:14-15). Forgive others, forgive them again when you feel the wound again, and forgive yourself. Let 2023 be the year you let go of what others expect of you and turn your focus inward. Be who God made you to be. Spend time celebrating your unique traits and the way you stand out from the crowd. Identify obstacles holding you back, start fighting for healing, and get yourself unstuck. And finally, may 2023 be the start of a pattern of radical forgiveness that runs through you and around you and sets you free. Unleash your unique identity, and you will be empowered to make your difference in the world.
PRAYER
Father, help me to see myself the way you see me. Give me the clarity to embrace my unique identity. I pray for discernment in identifying the obstacles in my way and the healing of my soul wounds. Let me forgive others with the generous forgiveness you’ve shown me. Use me to make a difference in the world. In Jesus’ name, Amen.
REFLECT & RESPOND
As 2022 comes to a close, we face the reality of ourselves. We DEVOTIONAL pause to reflect and take stock of what we’ve accomplished, where we’ve fallen short, and where we go from here. As you begin to dream up your New Year’s goal list, weight loss plan, and future financial successes, I’m going to ask you to pause once more.
Write down your values and unique traits. What makes you different from everyone else? 1.Reflect and write down obstacles that need healing in each of the four categories: emotional, relational, cultural, and spiritual. 2.Make a plan to address each obstacle and fight for healing. If you aren't sure how to move forward, consult someone you trust, perhaps a pastor or a counselor, and ask for advice. 3.How can you begin radical forgiveness today? Start by reflecting on ways you need to forgive yourself.
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IS GOD
“And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.”
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DEVOTIONAL
prayer of
SaLVaTION +JR.
Father, I admit that I am a sinner, and I ask for your forgiveness. I believe that Jesus Christ is Your Son. I believe He died for my sins and You raised Him to life. I turn from my former life and believe that inviting Jesus Christ into my heart and my life now that I am now born again. I want to trust Him as Lord, from this day forward. Guide my life and help me to do Your will. I pray this in the name of Jesus. Amen.
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