The First Year of Marriage: How to Bank on its Success Investing in your relationship from the get-go will reap big rewards
T
here’s nothing like that feeling of walking down the aisle with your new spouse, just married, surrounded by everyone closest to you. Celebrating your union at the reception is a wonderful time and all your planning and efforts were so worth it. The honeymoon gives you both time to relax and enjoy each other. Then real life begins, as you make a home and a life together. With the newness and excitement the first year of marriage brings, with it can come many challenges. As much as you worked on the wedding, your marriage will need constant attention. It may not be the most romantic way to look at it, but think of your marriage as a bank, or a company with you and your spouse equally in charge. “Show up as your best self for your
124
WWW.BRIDESTL.COM • FALL/WINTER 2021
spouse, not just for your co-workers and friends,” said Heather Raznick, MSW, LCSW, at Psychotherapy Specialists. “Plan for talks between the two of you as you would think of a board meeting, with you two the copresidents of your marriage,” Raznick said. Investing time and effort into the following areas will increase your chances of a happy and successful partnership.
REALISTIC PROJECTIONS “I was so excited to play house,” Claire Lillis remembered upon return from her honeymoon. “But, it’s real life, not play. It was difficult because before when we would get in a fight or disagree, I would vent to my two best girlfriends, who had been my roommates.
So when Dave and I would see each other or talk the next time it was easier, because the situation had been diffused. When you are living with someone it’s much different. The person you want to vent about is the person living with you!” The idealized picture of marriage some newlyweds have can come to a screeching halt. “In the first year, the lust wears off and reality sets in,” Raznick said. Couples often have an expectation that the excitement is going to stay at this high level. There may be some ‘magical thinking’ going on-that it will always be blissful, and that you are the unique couple that will always stay like this.” Laura Schneider was also eager to move into the new house she and her new husband had
©IVECTOR/SHUTTERTSTOCK.COM
BY JENNIFER C . FR AKES
