What'sOn Issue 12 2012

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03.04.2012 18:08:48

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What’s Up Two Thirds of Ukrainians In praise of Ukrainian Think Oksana Makar is to bureaucracy…?

It’s not often that you get the chance to heap praise upon a department of the Ukrainian government, but the Press Office and the Consular Department Blame for Her Murder That’s the shocking result of a poll taken by TV 24. Two thirds of the Ukrainian population believe that this poor girl, who was brutally raped by three men before being strangled and set on fire, is in some way to blame for what happened to her.

The local tabloid press have called her everything from a slut to an extortionist, and all in an attempt to justify the actions of the three privileged men who killed her. But there is no justification. It does not matter who or what she was. What these men did to her is completely unjustifiable and they should spend the rest of their lives in prison. Oksana’s suffering is over. May she rest in peace.

The Great Government Tax Software Swindle

Last week, we here at PAN Publishing got news from our accountants: we must buy a new software package in order to submit our tax returns to the government. The new system is called Medok, each package costs 1,330hrv with annual maintenance of 990hrv, and each and every company must have one. The old system will no longer be accepted by the tax officials: we had no option but to buy this new software, as did every other company in the country.

We checked. There are 1,272,353 registered companies in Ukraine. That means someone (and we’re not giving any prizes for guessing whom) will be making 1,692,229,490hrv ($211 million) from the sale of this software and 1,259,629,470hrv ($157.5 million) in annual maintenance.

Someone just got very rich, or should we say even richer. And everyone else in the country, quite literally, has to pay for it.

An Avid Collector

Our dear President must have felt rather envious of his predecessor, as we all know how much Viktor Yuschenko loved his collection of rare art pieces.

However, Mr Yanukovych is not to be pitied at all!

An inspector at Boryspil Airport reports that a rather large amount of precious valuables, purchased by our current commander-in-chief, have recently been allowed through customs. It turns out Viktor No 2 went wild (with what we can only assume was the country’s budget) last spring, and an extraordinary collection of paintings and watches are now in his possession.

Apparently, they come from the Dutch queen’s great-grandmother and were sold somewhere in the realm of $50,000 – 80,000. The respect of Sotheby’s, on the other hand, is priceless.

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of the Ministry of Foreign Affairs deserve praise indeed. As we all know, the Ukrainian bureaucratic system has its idiosyncrasies and is not generally noted for its efficiency, courtesy or understanding but… Here’s the story…

A little while ago, the cost of a Ukrainian multi-entry business visa for a UK national suddenly, and without any warning, went up from £110.00 to £878.00 (double that if you want it same say, as most of us do). The British business community were naturally outraged and asked the British Embassy to intervene and find out why. Normally the British Embassy are highly supportive of the British community; therefore, you can understand our surprise when we were told the rates were set by the Ministry of Foreign Affairs and there was nothing the Embassy could do. It was not necessarily the right response, as it is the job of UK civil servants to find solutions to such issues on behalf of British nationals.

Not to be thwarted by bureaucracy, we wrote to Oleh Voloshyn, the Ministry of Foreign Affairs press secretary, to ask for an explanation as to why the cost had risen so steeply, and why these new rates only applied to UK citizens. To our surprise, we were invited to a meeting at the MFA where we sat down with Mr Volosyhyn, the head of the Consular section and their international media coordinator.

“It is not in our interests to charge the British business community such high rates for visas,” they said, “as this is a grave disadvantage in trying to attract British investment. Our consular department have met with British officials on numerous occasions to try to sort this out. We have offered to reduce the rates to nominal levels, but the British side simply will not reduce the rates to Ukrainians, therefore under the rules of diplomatic parity we have no choice but to charge the same. This came as great surprise to us, as we have been able to agree special rates with many countries so that both sides benefit.”

We checked. The Canadian government has agreed a business visa rate of 100 Canadian dollars, the Americans $500, whilst the Schengen zone has waived the fee for this type of visa all together in order to stimulate crossborder trade. Therefore, the whole UK visa issue has been created by British bureaucracy, not Ukrainian.

The UK Border Agency, in their infinite wisdom, has decided to centralise all visa administration into five locations. Ukraine falls under the Dusseldorf office and, in good bureaucratic tradition, they have decided to charge all applicants the same fee, irrespective of their nationality or the financial purchasing power of their nation. To the British, this seems eminently logical. To the rest of the world, it is arrogantly imperial as in purchasing power terms the cost of a UK visa for a Ukrainian citizen is not £878 but £5,148, which is hardly diplomatic parity.

Whilst at the MFA, we also raised the issue of visas and work permits for resident international journalists working in Ukraine. The consular head recognised that the new visa regulations had not taken into consideration the unique position of international journalists who are resident but not employed in Ukraine. Within two weeks, the consular department had written and approved new operating standards for resident journalists, thereby enabling foreign correspondents to work and report freely in Ukraine.

Two weeks, it must be an all time record, and both the Consular Department and the Ministry of Foreign Affairs deserve to be congratulated on their willingness to find solutions and on their diplomacy.

So what can we draw from this little tale? Not all government departments are corrupt and incompetent. If you are prepared to sit down and discuss the real issues in a calm and business-like way, sometimes logic and wellreasoned argument can bring real results, even in Ukraine. Finally, British bureaucracy is just as arrogant and incompetent as any other. It must be a universal disease…

People Power by Martin Nunn & Martin Foley

03.04.2012 18:08:50

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This Week in History Keeper Crisis A Forced Guilty Plea

What is going on in this country? Women are being raped, beaten and burned; social injustices keep the country’s citizens in jail for the wrong reasons and now this – famous Ukrainian musician, Ihor Zavadsky, is charged with paedophilia and beaten for a confession.

Zavadsky has a reputation for spoiling his students, at least that’s what’s being said at the moment. A little pampering cannot and should not be considered the same as acting inappropriately, however. And yet, that’s not the way our authorities have chosen to view this case.

Taken in for questioning, the famous accordionist was forced to confirm his guilt in a rather severe way. Apparently, his attorney, Eugenia Zakrevska, was not allowed to speak to him when he was first arrested. Finally, making it into the temporary detention centre, she was met with a man covered in bruises. “They beat me until 4.00am.

Even when I fell to the floor, they continued to beat my head. The torture lasted seven hours,” Zavadsky has been reported as telling her.

In search of the full story, the mother of one his students told Fakty newspaper that strangers called her house, asking her to file a report against the music teacher, claiming that he acted inappropriately with her child. It’s obvious that someone wants him in jail, but who, and why is perhaps the better question.

Saved by Crumbs

Our authorities have announced that a rather generous gift is waiting this spring for all those living on the bread line, and we’re equally excited that we’re able to spread the good word. So just what is it that’s got the country buzzing? An increase to the country’s minimum wage! The raise will dance to the tune of 21hrv, making the total monthly salary received a whopping 1094hrv!

Goodness, what generosity! It’s like a magic number that will no doubt drastically change the lives of Ukrainians, allowing them to finally live the way they’ve always wanted!

The country’s social assistance will also be increased, depending on age and ability to work.

For example, family allowance for children aged 6 – 18 will rise to 1134hrv a month, while the disabled will soon make a monstrous 838hrv. We can’t help but wonder: do teenagers need more money to live a happy, healthy life than the disabled? They must, otherwise the numbers would look very different, surely. Regardless of the slight discrepancy, those in need can expect the next crumbs thrown at them on 1 July.

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Well this isn’t looking good. Unless that is, you’re an England fan – in which case, it’s looking both good, and strangely familiar. Those football fans among you will be aware of England’s epidemic in recent years in the matter of goalkeepers – even going into the 2010 World Cup with no fixed firstchoice keeper. And now, Ukraine is getting a taste of that feeling.

With what looked to be the main between-sticks incumbent, Oleksandr Rybka, being hit with a two-year ban from UEFA after failing a drug test in November, the options were reduced. Now, things are positively depleted with reliable standin, Spartak Moscow’s Andriy Dykan having sustained facial injuries, also ruled out of Euro 2012.

Coming in a fixture against Zenit St Petersburg at the weekend, he was rushed to hospital with a severe concussion and fractures to his jaw and face.

This leaves the matter of guarding the Ukrainian goal down to Dynamo Kyiv’s 37-year-old Oleksandr Shovkovskiy. Were something to happen to him, it would be down to the under-6-foot Andriy Piatov, of Shakhtar, and Dynamo’s teenage Maksym Koval. So, if you see Shovkovskiy, please don’t ask for his autograph, he’ll probably sprain his wrist in the writing!

8 April 1847

Taras Shevchenko and Mykola Kostomarov are arrested as members of The Brotherhood of Saints Cyril and Methodius, an organisation formed two years before. Revitalising the Ukrainian spirit is its main goal.

12 April 1912

Plast, a Ukrainian scouts organisation, is founded by Dr Tysovskyt of the Lviv Academic Gymnasium. By 1913, the first handbook is published and groups all over Ukraine appear. Unlike scouts in other parts of the world, those here in Ukraine embrace many nationalist ideas.

7 April 1919

Omelyan Pritsak is born. He is the first Mykhailo Hrushevsky Professor of Ukrainian History at Harvard University, and the founder and first director (1973 – 1989) of the Harvard Ukrainian Research Institute. Also, he is famous for launching the Harvard Ukrainian Studies and The Oriental World magazines.

8 April 1930

Red Ribbon Soon to be Cut

The Kyiv City Administration (KMDA) have been making more sweet promises about our airports, promising a brand new terminal at Zhulyany!

Vice-chairman of KMDA, Anatoliy Golubchenko, spilled the beans over the weekend about this new terminal, saying, “This renovated Kyiv airport will take in charter flights,” and that “all of the UEFA family will be greeted in this airport.”

Considering that Boryspil is far better developed to accept foreign VIPs, not to mention the fact that Terminal D has been under construction now for months for this express purpose, this is a rather strange announcement. Yet, let us reminisce a bit back to 2009, when Kyiv architects created a fantastic plan to renovate our municipal airport.

Their idea was for a “modern” facility (which it definitely is not at the moment).

Personally, we can’t think of a better way to astonish our dear UEFA guests and make them love Kyiv immediately. The question is, will either terminal be finished on time to even enable a red ribbon ceremony? The answer is, it’s unlikely.

The film Earth, by Ukrainian director Oleksandr Dovzhenko, is released. It is one of the most famous Soviet films, whose political message isn’t overtly obvious and therefore is not subject to censorship. The International Film Critics Symposium has called Earth one of the top ten greatest films of all time.

6 April 2000

Ukraine and Moldova ratify an agreement that delineates the border between their two countries.

There is additional protocol with regards to the Odesa-Reni Highway, not far from the Moldovan village of Palanka, included in the document. Due to the 480m of shoreline being built in Moldova for the Giurgiuleşti port, this has become an especially important issue as of late.

Tymoshenko Escapes

Or, she’d very much like to. Rather, Ukrainian authorities have agreed to allow the former prime minister treatment for her on-going back condition outside the prison walls. When German and Canadian doctors examined her last month, they concluded that she was suffering from extreme back pain and required urgent medical attention in a place that could provide adequate care. Looks like that’s going to happen after all.

03.04.2012 18:08:53

Kateryna Kyselyova

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Kyiv Culture

Abandoned houses, construction sites, the underbelly of bridges and underground tunnels: these are the places adventurous city wanderers find themselves in their spare time. Exploring the extreme urban landscape and risky underground tunnels, these radical adrenaline-seekers will stop at nothing, risking life and limb, and sometimes even death, to explore the limits both above and below.

T

he rush of life and impatience of traffic often go hand in hand with life in the big city. Recreation, on the other hand, typically looks like a drink in the bar with a few friends. While there is little that can be done about traffic flow, there are other activities in which residents could be engaging where and when spare time is available. Catching up with a couple of guys who have found an alternative to sitting in the pub, they take us to all of the unknown, hidden and often forbidden parts of the city.

My own personal curiosity about urban explorers and diggers was piqued upon looking at pictures of some strangely beautiful underground

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rivers in Kyiv a friend was exploring. Mysterious, alien, attractive, the images stuck in my head like gum in little girls’ hair. They interested me to no end, perhaps because I knew I would never experience these places first-hand myself. Instead, they prompted me to go out and find those with enough pluck to take such risks, maybe even living a little vicariously through their stories.

Abandoned and Forbidden

Upon doing a little research, the first thing I encounter is a couple of terms that require clarification: urban exploration and digging. Urban exploration is the study of typically unseen or offlimits parts of urban areas or industrial facilities, and is typically more practised abroad. It’s something Francis Barbero from Australia confirms, when I meet up with him to talk about the many places he has already explored in the three years he’s been active. “Urban exploration is about going to abandoned and forbidden places. We often check out construction sites, careful not to meet up with security guards on the ground as we go.

The main difference between urban explorers and diggers, I think, is that we look for forbidden places above ground, whereas diggers want to explore those places underground.”

Having reconnoitred extensively throughout the Australian city of Brisbane, one of his most fabulous discoveries is the Brisbane Bridge, from the underside. Standing ten storeys up, atop a rather rusty construction crane, the view was almost overwhelming, made even better in the rumbling storm that night. His explorations are not limited to Australia, however, and extend to Russia and Bosnia. Taking a serious interest in photography on his 21st birthday, these discoveries beckoned to be put on film. “I met someone who was quite well known for going out and exploring, and it really attracted me, maybe because it was all so industrial. Whatever the reason, I could take really interesting pictures.”

The Other Side

The thing that really makes it fascinating for Francis is the discovery – discovery of the new and often forbidden place. There is always the fear that the police or security will find them out.

However, the need to push himself to the limit far outweighs the consequences of getting caught.

Recalling one such evening, Francis and his buddies found a crane that “wanted” to be climbed.

“It was both logical and illogical at the same time.

I knew there were 40 floors below me, and I knew the crane would not fall. But still I was scared – one wrong move and I could have been the one falling!” With camera in hand, the guys captured an amazing view, which is a memory they will carry for the rest of their lives.

Francis and friends engage in this rather dangerous activity for pure curiosity, typically planning their outings on a Friday night. It’s a time the police are more often concerned about drunk drivers or bar fights. And yet, there are always a few on guard for people strolling construction grounds and abandoned areas. Caught redhanded one time, Francis and his mates were able to talk their way out of a possible charge.

“Once, we came across a road bridge of about 200-300 metres long. We made ourselves a ladder of rope and wood and climbed up. A young

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metres worth and all underground.

For Denys, the most thrilling thing for him in this underground world is the completely different surroundings. “When you’re below ground, your brain lacks information, any kind of information –visual, acoustic, olfactory – and it starts inventing things. In the flowing water, one hears footsteps, in the shadows, one sees ghosts. People often ask me if I’m ever afraid. I tell them it’s scarier to walk at night in Borshchahivka with nothing but a mobile phone to light my way!” security guard spotted us as we were on our way down and was curious to know what we were doing, and at night. We told him we were students studying architecture and needed to know what the bridge looked like from the inside. We were very considerate, and so let us off pretty easy.”

Both urban explorers and diggers have a very simple code of honour – leave nothing but footsteps, take nothing but photographs. With that in mind, urban explorers discover the city inside and out. Francis says Kyiv is one of many cities he would love to see the other side of.

The Layout of Old Kyiv

Kyiv is a beautiful city, “both above and underground”, says Denys Vasiliev, one of Kyiv’s diggers, quite experienced in all possible underground routes here in the city. What started out as a hobby, his fascination with digging, has grown into speleology, the study of caves, and he is recognised as one of the only people qualified to lead underground excursions.

It all started 11 years ago, when their curiosity got the better of both he and friend. The Askoldova drainage system just sort of seemed to pull them in: “We found a rather distinctive entrance to the whole system and so decided to check it out.

Later we would boast that we walked under Kyiv with nothing but a cheap Chinese flashlight and a candle!” Not unlike Denys and his friend, there is little one requires to become a digger, the main things being a flashlight, a pair of rubber boots and the simple desire.

When I ask him how he knows which of the many manholes open up the underground paradise, his answer, in its simplicity, surprises me a little, “It’s like the Coca-Cola competition – peek under the lid and you’ll see!”

Thinking about these guys just walking down the street, and stopping at every manhole they come across does make me smile. Denys adds, however, that one needs to be knowledgeable in the layout of old Kyiv to know which one leads to the river.

He says there are nearly 60 underground water tunnels in the city, which used to be natural streams and rivers. Blocking the rapidly-growing

A Random Entrance

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city, the rivers were pushed underground. Many of our city street names and districts have actually been derived from the names of these tributaries that no longer exist, such as Syrets, Pochayna, Klov, Lybid and Hlybochytska. That last street, by the way, accurately reflects the route the river took, and is one Denys has explored, all five kilo-

The real danger a digger might come across underground is the quick and powerful flow of water once it starts raining above ground. These underground tunnels are used specifically to carry rainwater into the rivers, and can become filled within minutes. Four of Denys’ friends, two in 2003 and two in 2008, died while exploring underground. The first two had even confirmed that the weather forecast called for a beautiful sunny day. Unfortunately, in both cases, the rains came, making it utterly impossible to get out.

Listening to their stories, I can’t help but think that this is all quite dangerous and must be very illegal. Quite philosophically, Denys answers, “Formally, being underground is not forbidden, which means it is allowed.” While maybe a rather literal translation, Denys has never had problems with the law in all his 11 years of practice.

His friends, on the other hand, have not been so lucky. Recalling what happened, he says they found a random entrance from a tunnel they were walking through, which opened up onto American Embassy territory. It was 19 September 2001, and they were of course suspected of being terrorists. Any time some big international official would come to town, they would be kept under tight surveillance!

Exhausting all of the questions I have, Denys invites me on an excursion to one of the oldest sewage systems, built more than 100 years ago with some amazing archways. Because the system is out of use, Denys says it is absolutely safe. Who knows, perhaps that will be the next discovery for me – or for you..?

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This Week Theatre & Classical Music

6-12 April 2012

Sastimos

Day of the Gypsy, Bolshevik Centre of Culture (Peremohy 38)

8 April at 18.00

The 8th of April is the international Day of the Gypsy. Saturated with mystique and an undeniable energy, theirs is a most unique culture. Folklore states that millions of candles are lit and brilliant flowered wreaths are placed upon rivers all over the world to unite the Romani people wherever they happen to be on this day. Celebrations will be a little different for those in Kyiv. Should you be so inclined, however, you are invited to celebrate with a massive musical and passionate performance.

Tickets are 60 – 80hrv. For more information call 456-0416.

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Friday An Evening of Symphonic Music Featuring Sokolov (violin), Protasov Works by Tchaikovsky, Prokofiev, Ravel Time: 19.00 National Philharmonic of Ukraine (Volodymyrskiy Uzviz 2) 278-1697 D on Carlos Opera in 3 acts Time: 19.00 National Opera Theatre of Ukraine (Volodymyrska 50) 279-1169 A Wife is a Wife Vaudeville in 2 acts Time: 19.00 I Franko Ukrainian Drama Theatre (Ivana Franka 3) 279-5921 Indian Summer Lyrical comedy in 2 acts Time: 19.00 L Ukrainka Russian Drama Theatre (B Khmelnytskoho 5) 234-4223/5087 Ball at the Savoy Operetta in 3 acts Time: 19.00 Kyiv Operetta (V Vasylkivska 53/3) 287-2630 D eception As Long As Life Play Time: 19.00 Drama & Comedy Theatre on the Dnipro (Brovarskiy Pr 25) 517-1955 Quartet for 2 Comedy in 2 acts Time: 19.00 Molody Theatre (Prorizna 17) 278-7392/8568

Asso & Piaf A history of love Time: 19.00 Suzirya Theatre (Yaroslaviv Val 16) 212-4188

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Saturday Oscar – God A secret dialogue Time: 19.00 Suzirya Theatre (Yaroslaviv Val 16) 212-4188 D ance Without Borders Gala performance featuring Danza-Danza, Volochkova, Holyakova, Kifyak, Doron, Vanya, Kalchenko, Bogdan Time: 12.00 National Opera Theatre of Ukraine (Volodymyrska 50) 279-1169 Small Crimes of Marriage Psychological detective story in 1 act Time: 19.00 I Franko Ukrainian Drama Theatre (Ivana Franka 3) 279-5921

Quartet Play Time: 19.00 L Ukrainka Russian Drama Theatre (B Khmelnytskoho 5) 234-4223/5087 The Sorochynskiy Fair Operetta in 2 acts Time: 19.00 Kyiv Operetta (V Vasylkivska 53/3) 287-2630 D eception As Long As Life Play Time: 19.00 Drama & Comedy Theatre on the Dnipro (Brovarskiy Pr 25) 517-1955 Athens Evenings Comedy Time: 19.00 Molody Theatre (Prorizna 17) 278-7392

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Sunday Uncle’s Dream Tragic comedy in 2 acts Time: 19.00 L Ukrainka Russian Drama Theatre (B Khmelnytskoho 5) 234-4223/5087

Giselle Ballet in 2 acts Time: 19.00 National Opera Theatre of Ukraine (Volodymyrska 50) 279-1169

Shveik A soldier’s adventure in 2 acts Time: 19.00 I Franko Ukrainian Drama Theatre (Ivana Franka 3) 279-5921

S ublimation of Love Game in tango rhythms Time: 19.00 Palace Ukraine (V Vasylkivska 103) 247-2316

The Pink Bridge Play in 2 acts Time: 19.00 Drama & Comedy Theatre on the Dnipro (Brovarskiy Pr 25) 517-1955

Don Carlos Opera in 3 acts Time: 19.00 National Opera Theatre of Ukraine (Volodymyrska 50) 279-1169 Sublimation of Love Game in tango rhythms Time: 19.00 Palace Ukraine (V Vasylkivska 103) 247-2316 Chasing Two Hares Operetta in 2 acts Time: 19.00 Kyiv Operetta (V Vasylkivska 53/3) 287-2630 The Love Run Around 10 erotic scenes Time: 19.00 Molody Theatre (Prorizna 17) 278-7392 What Frenchmen Conceal Comedy 16+ Time: 19.00 Suzirya Theatre (Yaroslaviv Val 16) 212-4188

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Monday Deluxe for Foreigners Comedy Time: 19.00 L Ukrainka Russian Drama Theatre (B Khmelnytskoho 5) 234-4223/5087

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Tuesday Female Images in Music Featuring Zhadko, State Academic Symphonic Band Works by Tchaikovsky, Ferrat, Menken, Smith, Levay, Suppe, Ellington Time: 19.00 National Philharmonic of Ukraine (Volodymyrskiy Uzviz 2) 278-1697 n Evening of A Austrian Music Featuring Hurtler (Austria), Vynokurov (Austria, violin), Bazhenova (piano) Works by Haydn, Mozart, Shubert, Piazzolla Time: 19.30 National House of Organ and Chamber Music (V Vasylkivska 77) 528-3186 Swan Lake Ballet in 3 acts Time: 19.00 National Opera Theatre of Ukraine (Volodymyrska 50) 279-1169 Deluxe for Foreigners Comedy Time: 19.00 L Ukrainka Russian Drama Theatre (B Khmelnytskoho 5) 234-4223/5087

The Scandalous Adventures of Mr Cattle and Mrs Moon Lyrical comedy Time: 19.00 I Franko Ukrainian Drama Theatre (Ivana Franka 3) 279-5921

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Wednesday Edith Piaf.

Life on Credit Musical in 2 acts Time: 19.00 I Franko Ukrainian Drama Theatre (Ivana Franka 3) 279-5921 Ve ryovka National Academic Folk Choir and Lyatoshynsky Classical Ensemble in concert Works by Mozart, Lysenko, Koshytsya, Stetsenko, Leontovych Time: 19.30 National House of Organ and Chamber Music (V Vasylkivska 77) 528-3186 Iolanta Opera in 2 acts Time: 19.00 National Opera Theatre of Ukraine (Volodymyrska 50) 279-1169

Awakened by Guitar

The Magic Guitar, National Philharmonic of Ukraine (Volodymyrskiy Uzviz 2)

11 April at 19.00

Guitar music is rather fitting for spring, as it is the perfect time to stand at the foot of your beloved’s window, singing serenades and professing your undying love. If you don’t have a guitar or a beloved, come along this evening and listen to the pros. With compositions devoted to Bach, Rodrigo, Moreno Torroba, Legnani, Morel, Barrios, Bustamante, Brauer and Tarrega, you’ll be no doubt picking up the guitar, and a girl, in no time!

Tickets are 30 – 90hrv. For more information call 278-1697.

Mr X Operetta in 2 acts Time: 19.00 Kyiv Operetta (V Vasylkivska 53/3) 287-2630 Silvia Play in 2 acts Time: 19.00 Drama & Comedy Theatre on the Dnipro (Brovarskiy Pr 25) 517-1955 Kaudashi Tragic comedy in 2 acts Time: 19.00 Molody Theatre (Prorizna 17) 278-7392 Stolen Happiness Drama Time: 19.00 Suzirya Theatre (Yaroslaviv Val 16) 212-4188

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Thursday F or Easter Featuring Lysenko Quartet, Lipinska (mezzo-soprano), Ischak (contr-tenor), Bazhenova (harpsichord) Works by Haydn, Pergolesi Time: 19.30 National House of Organ and Chamber Music (V Vasylkivska 77) 528-3186 Zorba the Greek Ballet in 2 acts Time: 19.00 National Opera Theatre of Ukraine (Volodymyrska 50) 279-1169 Such Jewish Happiness Musical in 2 acts Time: 19.00 Kyiv Operetta (V Vasylkivska 53/3) 287-2630 Mein Kampf/Socks in the Coffee-maker Farce in 2 acts Time: 19.00 Drama & Comedy Theatre on the Dnipro (Brovarskiy Pr 25) 517-1955 Moskoviada Play in 3 acts Time: 19.00 Molody Theatre (Prorizna 17) 278-7392 In the Drumming Lane History of the railroad in 27 scenes Time: 19.00 Suzirya Theatre (Yaroslaviv Val 16) 212-4188

: What's On Recommended

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03.04.2012 18:09:05

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Live Music

6-12 April 2012

Russia’s Interpretation of the Bloodiest Barber Korol i Shut (Russia, punk rock), Stereo Plaza (Kikvidze 1)

7 April at 19.00

Ever laid eyes or ears on true Russian punk-rockers? If the answer is no, you’re going to want to take in this next night out with Korol i Shut! Far more than just a punk-rock performance, these guys are open to everything, as evidenced by their most recent album Fest of Blood. Based on the musical thriller Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street, Stereo Plaza turns into 19th century England for the night, complete with blood, gore and of course a little punk-rock. Does it get any better?

Tickets are 170 – 450hrv. For more information call 222-8040.

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Friday E rica Time: 20.00 Tickets: 100hrv Crystal Hall (Dniprovskiy Spusk 1) 538-0100 Light Flirt (cover band) Time: 22.00 Admission: 50hrv Art Club 44 (Khreshchatyk 44b) 279-4137 Mad Heads, UkrainSka, Ruky v Bryuky (rockabilly, cover bands) Time: 22.00 Admission: 75hrv Docker’s ABC (KhreshchatykZankovetskoi 15/4) 278-1717 Antytila, Red Rocks (pop-rock, cover band) Time: 22.00 Admission: 75hrv Docker Pub (Bohatyrska 25) 451-8528 Bender Band (cover band) Time: 21.00 Admission: free Star Pub (Popudenka 1a) 292-2900

Nota G (pop-rock) Time: 20.00 Admission: free Divan (Besarabska 2) 235-7366

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Saturday Aquarium (Russia, rock) Time: 19.00 Admission: 250-990hrv October Palace (Instytutska 1) 279-1582 MJ Project (cover band) Time: 22.00 Admission: 50hrv Art Club 44 (Khreshchatyk 44b) 279-4137 Lighting Up the Hearts Concert (jazz, tango) Time: 18.00 Admission: free SBU House of Culture (Irpinska 6) 484-0806 Tabula Rasa, Partyzanski Vytivky (pop-rock, cover band) Time: 22.00 Admission: 75hrv Docker’s ABC (KhreshchatykZankovetskoi 15/4) 278-1717

Symphoniya, More Khuana (cover bands) Time: 22.00 Admission: 75hrv Docker Pub (Bohatyrska 25) 451-8528

Crazy Train (cover band) Time: 22.00 Admission: free Docker’s ABC (KhreshchatykZankovetskoi 15/4) 278-1717

Alisa Band (cover band) Time: 21.00 Admission: free Star Pub (Popudenka 1a) 292-2900

Tex-Mex Co (cover band) Time: 21.30 Admission: free Docker Pub (Bohatyrska 25) 451-8528

Geiser (cover band) Time: 21.00 Admission: free Route 66 (Zhylyanska 87/30) 239-3865

S witch On the Lights, Coreadore (pop-rock) Time: 20.00 Admission: 40hrv Divan (Besarabska 2) 235-7366

Yokodo (pop-rock) Time: 20.00 Admission: free Divan (Besarabska 2) 235-7366

Night Block (cover band) Time: 22.00 Admission: free Docker’s ABC (KhreshchatykZankovetskoi 15/4) 278-1717

Tres Deseos (cover band) Time: 22.00 Admission: 20hrv Docker’s ABC (KhreshchatykZankovetskoi 15/4) 278-1717

Artish (cover band) Time: 20.00 Admission: free Route 66 (Zhylyanska 87/30) 239-3865

Charlie’s Angles (cover band) Time: 21.30 Admission: free Docker Pub (Bohatyrska 25) 451-8528

Tropicana (Latino dance party) Time: 20.00 Admission: free Star Pub (Popudenka 1a) 292-2900

Ella Yellow, Metro Music Group (rock, funk) Time: 20.00 Admission: free Divan (Besarabska 2) 235-7366

Fani Kaplan, The Groovers (pop-rock) Time: 20.00 Admission: 50hrv Divan (Besarabska 2) 235-7366

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Cadillac Records (cover band) Time: 22.00 Admission: free Art Club 44 (Khreshchatyk 44b) 279-4137

Coldplay Cover Party (cover bands) Time: 22.00 Admission: 30hrv Art Club 44 (Khreshchatyk 44b) 279-4137

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Sunday Soyuz 44 (cover band) Time: 22.00 Admission: free Art Club 44 (Khreshchatyk 44b) 279-4137

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Monday Exotic Erotic (jazz rock) Time: 22.00 Admission: free Art Club 44 (Khreshchatyk 44b) 279-4137

Tuesday

Wednesday

Spicy Music

Gorchitza (pop-rock), Crystal Hall (Dniprovskiy Spusk 1)

7 April at 19.00

It’s been a while since we last talked about Gorchitza. But they’re back on the city’s music scene with a new, allnight programme they’ve called No End. As unfortunate as it is, this will be the last show of Gorchitza as we know them – lead-singer Alloise’s solo career has taken off and a new frontwoman has already been chosen to take her place. That said, the group will play music from all their albums they are known and loved for. Then DJ Alex will turn it up with a couple of sets to get you jiving on the dancefloor. As per usual, they promise a reckless night out, complete with music you just can’t not tap your toe to.

Tickets are 100 – 500hrv. For more information call 538-0100.

The Magma (cover band) Time: 22.00 Admission: 20hrv Docker’s ABC (KhreshchatykZankovetskoi 15/4) 278-1717 Some Like it Hot (cover band) Time: 21.30 Admission: free Docker Pub (Bohatyrska 25) 451-8528 Tex-Mex Co (cover band) Time: 21.00 Admission: free Star Pub (Popudenka 1a) 292-2900 Natalya Lebedeva Trio (jazz) Time: 20.00 Admission: free Divan (Besarabska 2) 235-7366

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Thursday S vetlana Loboda Time: 20.00 Tickets: 200 – 1500hrv Crystal Hall (Dniprovskiy Spusk 1) 538-0100 Tribute to Led Zeppelin (cover bands) Time: 22.00 Admission: 40hrv Art Club 44 (Khreshchatyk 44b) 279-4137 Mama Mia (cover band) Time: 22.00 Admission: 30hrv Docker’s ABC (KhreshchatykZankovetskoi 15/4) 278-1717 Crazy Train (cover band) Time: 21.30 Admission: free Docker Pub (Bohatyrska 25) 451-8528 Kh.P.Z. (cover band) Time: 21.00 Admission: free Star Pub (Popudenka 1a) 292-2900 Kolo Khmar (pop-rock) Time: 20.00 Admission: free Divan (Besarabska 2) 235-7366

: What's On Recommended

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03.04.2012 18:09:07

10

This Week

Art

6-12 April 2012

Spring

Exhibition of paintings by Iryna Kachkalda and Liliya Vagradyan, Master Klass Gallery (Lavrska 16)

8 April – 7 May

Sun, flowers, birds singing, the joy and happiness of life in the springtime – this is the main theme behind the next exhibition organised by Iryna Kachkalada and Liliya Vagradyan in Master Klass. Each year, we witness a truly great awakening, and while many of us take this time for granted, these two have taken their brushes and captured every single moment. Now it’s your turn to take it in.

For more information call 594-1063.

Images Exhibition of paintings by Tymophiy Stroganov Until 12 April RA Gallery (B Khmelnytskoho 32) 235-3619

Pictures of a Pilgrim Exhibition of paintings by Stanislav Chamlay Until 16 April Found Art Gallery (Frolivska 1/6) 238-6521

Meditation. 30 February Exhibition of paintings by Yuriy Vakulenko Until 30 April Kyiv Fine Art Gallery (Darvina 5) 490-5858

A Funny Dawn or Kyiv Humour Exhibition of antique cards from 1911 – 1913 Until 30 April Museum of Russian Art (Tereshenkivska 9) 287-7324

A Living Figure Contemporary art exhibition of French and Ukrainian artists 11 – 23 April YA Gallery (Khoryva 49b) 492-9203

Estonian Culture in Ukraine Exhibition of items from the Estonian National Museum collection Until 24 April National Folk Decorative Art Museum (Lavrska 9) 254-3253

Wine & Meat Exhibition of paintings by Vladislav Shereshevskiy Until 24 April Triptych-Art Gallery (Desyatynna 13) 279-0949

Shepherding a Tiger Exhibition of abstract paintings by Victor Deisun Until 22 April Mystetska Zbirka Gallery (Tereshchenkivska 13) 050-136-4737 Station Exhibition of paintings by Andriy Bludov Until 10 April Bottega Gallery (Mykhalivska 22b) 279-8383

Family

Mode of Creation

Clay Tales, Olga Adam Studio (Kostyantynivska 19/25)

7 April at 11.00

A process of mental and emotional growth is involved in the creation of anything, and working with clay certainly fits into that category. Getting 3 – 6-year olds together to roll, press and form pieces of clay into real figurines, the folks over at the Olga Adam Studio have got an informative but fun lesson in the bag. Get your children ready to channel all that pent-up winter energy!

The result of which will no doubt be an utterly brilliant artistic masterpiece!

Tickets are 100hrv. For more information call 098-635-4846.

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Puppet Theatre Hrushevskoho 1A (metro Maidan Nezalezhnosti) 278-5808

Circus Peremohy 2 (metro Vokzalna) 486-3927 www.circus.com.ua

Municipal Puppet Theatre Mytropolska 1 513-1500

Zoo Peremohy Pr. 32 241-7769 www.zoo.kiev.ua

Marionette Theatre Sahaidochnoho 29/3 (metro Poshtova Ploshcha) 417-3058 http://marionet.com.ua

Dyvosvit 4D cinema, children’s labyrinth, attractions Marshala Malinovskoho 24/10 502-0088 www.dyvosvit.ua

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Friday Green Hills of the Ocean Fairytale in 1 act for children 5+ Time: 13:00 Lypska Youth Theatre (Lypska 15/17) 253-6219

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The Adventures of Pinocchio Musical in 2 acts Time: 12.00 Kyiv Theatre of Opera & Ballet for Children & Youth (Mezhyhirska 2) 425-3116 Green Hills of the Ocean Fairytale in 1 act for children 5+ Time: 11:00 Chief Redskin Tragic comedy in 2 acts for children 7+ Time: 12.00 Lypska Youth Theatre (Lypska 15/17) 253-6219

Kobzov Circus 239-2181 Prospekt Pobedy 82 www.circus-kobzov.com.ua Mystical-Aquarium Centre Koshytsa 8A (metro Poznyaky) 502-1796 www.aquariumfish.com.ua

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Sunday

Saturday

Butterfly Ultramarine Cinema, children’s playground, bowling, arcade Uritskoho 1A (metro Vokzalna) 206-0350 www.kino-butterfly.com.ua

The Bremen Musicians Musical in 2 acts Time: 12.00 I. Franko Ukrainian Drama Theatre (Ivana Franka 3) 279-5921

Nemo Dolphinarium Akademika Glushkova 9 520-5550 www.nemokiev.com Kyiv Planetarium Chervonoarmiyska 57/3 287-7508 www.planet.org.ua/about.html Aquapark Terminal Aquapark, shopping and entertainment centre Kyivska 316 in the town of Brovary 200-1450 www.aquapark-terminal.com.ua

The Mysterious Hippopotamus Puppet-play for children 3+ Time: 11.00 The Three Little Pigs Puppet-play for children 3+ Time: 13.00 Thumbelina Puppet-play for children 4+ Time: 15.00 The Golden Key Puppet-play in Russian for children 3+ Time: 17.00 Kyiv Puppet Theatre (Hrushevskoho 1a) 278-0566 Yasnogorodskya Ostrich Farm Podlesnaya 32, Yasnohorodska (30km outside of Kyiv) 782-3240 www.ostrich.com.ua Hopak in Kyiv Hopak Training Centres 332-7747 or 067-933-3244 Visit http://hopak.kiev.ua/ua/ Nabeg Horseback Riding Centre Vishgorodska 85 067-712-3384 http://www.loshadi.kiev.ua/

Thumbelina Ballet in 2 acts Time: 12.00 Kyiv Theatre of Opera & Ballet for Children & Youth (Mezhyhirska 2) 425-3116 Good Horton Musical play Time: 12.00 Lypska Youth Theatre (Lypska 15/17) 253-6219 Cinderella Ballet in 2 acts Time: 12.00 I Franko Ukrainian Drama Theatre (Ivana Franka 3) 279-5921

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Thursday Upside-down Play-game in 1 act Time: 12.00 Lypska Youth Theatre (Lypska 15/17) 253-6219 How the Cossacks Tamed the Snake Musical fairytale in 2 acts Time: 13.00 Kyiv Theatre of Opera & Ballet for Children & Youth (Mezhyhirska 2) 425-3116

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Wednesday The Lady and the Hooligan Ballet in 2 acts Time: 13.00 Kyiv Theatre of Opera & Ballet for Children & Youth (Mezhyhirska 2) 425-3116 Kyiv Horse Race Track Akademika Glushkova 10 266-2223 State Museum of Toys Klovskiy 8 253-5400 Interesniy Kiev Tours in and around Kyiv in English! 491-1176 or 068-121-4458 Visit www.interesniy.kiev.ua/new/ tour/english

Pyrohovo Open Air Museum Folk architecture and life Marshrutka #3/156 from metro Lybydska 526-5542 Mamaeva Sloboda Outdoor Cossack Museum Mykhayla Dontsya 2, Otradniy region 361-9848 www.mamajeva-sloboda.ua

Nivky Park Children’s playground, rifle ranges, walking paths, cafes Prospect Pobedy 82 Kurenevskiy Park Playgrounds, attractions, cafes Frunze 134 National Botanical Garden Open year round Timiryazevskaya 1

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Nightlife

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6-12 April 2012

Switch it On

Amen Terrorists w/ Switch Technique (Poland, drum and bass), Cinema Club (Entusiastiv 1)

6 April at 23.00

Hailing from Poland, Switch Technique have been playing dnb and refining their sound for over 10 years. Their sound – a unique blend of heavy explosive style drum & bass with classic sounds, as well as hardcore, has produced a number of successful releases including Genosha 175, Yellow Stripe and many others. Providing support is Ukraine’s own Stepkillah along with Jike, Katwon, Mindfreak, SHK and more.

Admission is 90hrv. For more information call 555-5854.

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Friday D J Alighiery Birthday Party with DJs Alighiery, Light, Lutique, Bro, Alfred and Kovalevsky Time: 23.00 Admission: L-free, G-call for details Museum le Club (Muzeyniy 10) 253-0150

Light Friday with DJ Under Beat Time: 22.00 Admission: before 00.00 G-free, after G-40hrv, L-free Aldo (Milyutenko 7) 536-6565

Virus Booking Showcase Time: 22.00 Admission: before 00.00 L-30hrv, G-40hrv, after L-50hrv, G-60hrv Forsage (Harmatna 51a) 232-6780

Latin American Live Music and Disco Time: 22.00 Admission: L-100hrv, G-150hrv Caribbean Club (Kominternu 4) 288-1290

Disco Party Time: 22.00 Admission: L-free, G-call for details Aura (Vyshhorodskaya 28/1) 237-7023

Best Disco Hits Time: 20.00 Admission: L-40hrv, G-60hrv Gallery Club (Peremohy Pr 47/2) 453-3727

In Two Steps with DJ Juicy M and DJ Rockstar Time 23.00 Admission: call for details Sky Bar (V Vasylkivska 5) 223-8888

D J Spinal Chord (Israel), Serge Proshe and Weizman Time: 22.00 Admission: L-free, G-free till 00.00, after 100hrv Mantra (V Vasylkivska 5) 336-2848

Gon’s Kitchen, Carnival with DJs Zlata, Koma Junior, Spieler, DMC Gabber and MC Mirage Time: 22.00 Admission: before 23.30 L-20hrv, G-25hrv, after L-40hrv, G-50hrv Saxon (Trutenko 4) 257-4070

Essence of Love Time: 23.00 Admission: L-25hrv, G-50hrv Egoist (Horlovskaya 124/140) 223-36-33 Disco Friday Time: 22.00 Admission: before 00.00 L-free, after L-30hrv, G-50hrv Prime (Nauki 8) 524-2209

lyosha A Time: 22.00 Admission: before 00.00 L-30hrv, G-50hrv, after L-50hrv, G-70hrv Bionica (Borshchahivska 128a) 232-7296 Hits Only Time: 20.00 Admission: L-free, G-50hrv Sakhar Party Bar (Dekabrystov 12/37) 563-9662

Warm Up with Fiesta Time: 22.00 Admission: call for details Fiesta (Horkoho 115d) 462-1477

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Saturday J Battle with Vasiliy D Bondarchuk vs Christina Kots-Gotlib Time: 23.00 Admission: L-free, G-call for details Museum le Club (Muzeyniy 10) 253-0150 Art Beat Project with Mihalis Safras (UK) and more Time: 22.00 Admission: before 23.30 L-30hrv, G-50hrv, after L-50hrv, G-70hrv Forsage (Harmatna 51a) 232-6780 Best Disco Hits Time: 20.00 Admission: L-40hrv, G-60hrv Gallery Club (Peremohy Pr 47/2) 453-3727 Durnev Plus 1 with Alex Durnev Time: 22.00 Admission: before 23.30 L-20hrv, G-25hrv, after L-40hrv, G-50hrv Saxon (Trutenko 4) 257-4070

Just the Two of Us

Obe Dve (Russia, electronic, pop), Sullivan Room (Prorizna 8)

7 April at 19.00

These natives from the hot Russian new music scene, Yekaterinburg, finally hit up Ukraine with their fresh esoteric sounds.

Given the prestigious Golden Gargoyle Award from club 16 Tons, lauding them as a major musical discovery of 2011, their song Mili went on to score more than 2 million YouTube hits. Reviewers have also been generous in their praise, saying theirs is an “ironic pop-rock with caustic lyrics and strong dance groove”.

Admission is 150 – 200hrv in advance, 250hrv at the door. For more information call 066-485-5555.

Tasty with Las Wild, Fireworks and DJ Estetixx Time: 22.00 Admission: 40hrv Aldo (Milyutenko 7) 536-6565 Pre-Party RCFW12 with Nikki Belle, DJs Daniel Mariash, Matrosov, Alfred, Key and Rockstar Time 23.00 Admission: call for details Sky Bar (V Vasylkivska 5) 223-8888 Da Fresh (France) with Max Freegrant, Neo and Underhill Time: 22.00 Admission: call for details Prime (Nauki 8) 524-2209

Latin American Live Music Time: 20.00 Admission: L-100hrv, G-150hrv Caribbean Club (Kominternu 4) 2881290

Disco-Latino Time: 22.00 Admission: L-40hrv, G-60hrv Caribbean Club (Kominternu 4) 288-1290

Love and Ladies Time: 20.00 Admission: L-free, G-50hrv Sakhar Party Bar (Dekabrystov 12/37) 563-9662

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Disco Party Time: 22.00 Admission: call for details Fiesta (Horkoho 115d) 462-1477

Women’s Feast with MC Club Nichka and More Time: 21.00 Admission: before 00.00 L-free, after L-50hrv, G-100hrv Shooters (Moskovska 22) 254-2024

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Sunday RnB Boom with DJ Lady and DJ Cash Flow Time: 22.00 Admission: before 23.30 L-10hrv, G-15hrv, after L-20hrv, G-30hrv Forsage (Harmatna 51a) 232-6780 Salsadromo and Discotheque Time: 21.00 Admission: L-40hrv, G-60hrv Caribbean Club (Kominternu 4) 288-1290 Fun Evening Time: 20.00 Admission: L-free, G-50hrv Sakhar Party Bar (Dekabrystov 12/37) 563-9662 50/50 with Redco vs Dany Preacher Time: 22.00 Admission: L-free before 00.00, after L-20hrv, G-20hrv Saxon (Trutenko 4) 257-4070

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Monday

Wednesday

Audiomania Time: 19.00 Admission: L-free, G-30hrv Sakhar Party Bar (Dekabrystov 12/37) 563-9662

Disco 80s/90s Time: 20.00 Admission: 25hrv Gallery Club (Peremohy Pr 47/2) 453-3727 Dance Marathon Time: 21.00 Admission: free Aura (Vyshhorodskaya 28/1) 237-7023 Erotic Show and Amateur Striptease Time: 21.00 Admission: before 00.00 L-free, after L-50hrv, G-150hrv Caribbean Club (Kominternu 4) 288-1290

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Thursday Day of Sweet Emotions Time: 18.00 Admission: L-40hrv, G-60hrv Gallery Club (Peremohy Pr 47/2) 453-3727 Crazy 30 Time: 21.00 Admission: 30hrv Aura (Vyshhorodskaya 28/1) 237-7023 Disco 90s Time: 20.00 Admission: L-free, G-30hrv Sakhar Party Bar (Dekabrystov 12/37) 563-9662 Disco-Latino Time: 22.00 Admission: L-40hrv, G-60hrv Caribbean Club (Kominternu 4) 288-1290

Free Yourself

Emancipation – Maxi Dead’s Birthday, Gallery (Peremohy Pr 47)

9 April at 22.00

Maxi Dead is a “breath of fresh air in the electronic world of trance”. He’s worked with international labels Echelon Records (Finland), Capital Music (Poland), Spaced Out Recordings (UK), Fuzion Four Records (US) and more, and celebrating his 21st birthday this Monday evening, he’s inviting the whole of Kyiv. Check him out on the turntable around midnight, and then stay on for special guest DJ Underbeat. It’s gonna be a gooder.

Admission: L-40hrv, G-60hrv. For more information call 063-071-8012.

Zodiac Night Time: 21.00 Admission: free Shooters (Moskovska 22) 254-2024 Pivomania – DJ Size Time: 21.00 Admission: free Aura (Vyshhorodskaya 28/1) 237-7023 Salsadromo Time: 21.00 Admission: L-20hrv, G-50hrv Caribbean Club (Kominternu 4) 288-1290

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Tuesday

Party of Serious People Time: 23.00 Admission: L-25hrv, G-50hrv Egoist (Horlovskaya 124/140) 223-36-33

Mojito Night Time: 22.00 Admission: free Shooters (Moskovska 22) 254-2024

Ella Rap Time: 20.00 Admission: 150hrv Arena (Baseina 2a) 492-00-00

Radio Days Time: 21.00 Admission: free Aura (Vyshhorodskaya 28/1) 237-7023

: What's On Recommended

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03.04.2012 18:09:31

Vadym Mishkoriz

12

Ukraine Culture Pick-up is now huge. It has inspired a bestselling book, The Game, and schools in its practices can be found across the world. Including, perhaps unsurprisingly, in a city that always comes near the top of any Most Beautiful Girls list. As successful practitioners in the sphere of seduction here in Kyiv, we catch up with Anton Golovnya and Oleksandr Ignatiev.

How to N

o matter how experienced you are in communication with girls, to be the most successful guy, there is little more necessary than simply being the best among the rest. This is the simplest and most successful method. As Oleksandr says, the best way to become a Casanova and date the most beautiful ladies is to be the one they want.

Be Simply The Best

Oleksandr and Anton have been practising this for quite some time. From their school days, they started exploring the field of seduction through their own experience and mistakes. This search brought them together on one of the many courses on seduction here in Kyiv, four years ago. Learning the basics and getting answers to questions that had plagued them for years, these two then decided to create their own pickup method, which has already helped many a Ukrainian candidate. "It started off at first as a kind of sport. Now, it has turned into a deeper investigation of romantic relationships," says Oleksandr. Anton adds, "If previously we tried to get as many girls into bed as possible, now we have begun to delve deeper into relationships, to help other guys deal with their problems and achieve their goals."

The Beast Within

Reducing the theoretical pick-up course to a minimum, I ask Anton and Oleksandr to crystallise the main qualities needed to become

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Pick Up

a Casanova. Oleksandr begins, "I do not like people calling me a Casanova. I’m not a Casanova. I just know how to seduce a girl and teach others to do the same. There is a misconception that a pick-up artist, or as you politely call us Casanovas, have a sort of specialist knowledge or skill, that we seduce at a glance. In order to be successful at seduction, you have first to work a lot on yourself – every man has an inborn ability to seduce. When people say Casanova, they usually mean a man who drives all girls crazy.

When we talk about being a pick-up artist, you should keep in mind that the best artists have the highest failure rate. But at the same time, their effectiveness is as great as the percentage of their failures."

"Many do not realise that pick-up is based on giving more to your partner than you receive in return,” continues Anton. “Men are born to seduce women. But that doesn’t mean that animal instincts should hurt others. We teach our clients how to bring the utmost pleasure to a girl, but not act like a clinical Casanova, who just does his job and disappears. To prove it, I still have wonderful relationships with all of my former partners."

As we talk, I learn that the pick-up theory is based on three doctrines: mental/social status, outlook and technique. By the way, technique and all these ‘supernatural’ tricks a pick-up artist might use to get laid, are the least important components in this art. As an example, Oleksan-

Pic

dr recalls one of his clients, a 58-year-old man who thought he was not popular among girls because he was not rich enough. “As quite a wealthy man, he came to me and we started working on his psychological condition and appearance.

Now, he knows how to hook up with girls without even spending a penny.”

The Best Hencoop In The City

So where are all the chicks gathering in Kyiv? Well, there’s a lot of them right there on the street, but what would be the best place for a date? An experienced pick-up artist can work everywhere. But what about the rest of us, who are not quite confident enough to walk up to a girl and introduce ourselves? Oleksandr replies that his friends often call him a “club expert”, and not by accident. He has chosen this sphere because every club is a “hot contact”. The ladies will usually say that they like to head out to the clubs “just to dance”, but many are there "purely to find a guy". For Oleksandr, it takes little more than an hour to find his target and take her to an intimate place – far faster than the standard three-date process!

Sharing his personal experience, he says the best places currently in town for that are Arena, D’Lux, Museum Le Club and Skybar. Adding still

03.04.2012 18:09:37

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03.04.2012 18:09:52

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Coming Soon

Obsessed With Tango

World Stars of Tango, House of Officers (Hrushevskoho 30/1)

27 April at 19.00

Tangos Corazonicos, Radio Latina, Radio-grafias and Tango Buenos Aires are incredible performances by dancers Ruben and Sabrina Veliz, each of which have done much to make the Tango world go round. Come the end of this month, they’ll be here in Kyiv, bringing a little piece of Argentina with them. It’s going to be an evening of passion, made all the more so with music by the Solo Tango Orquestra from Moscow.

Tickets are 100 – 500hrv. For more information call 253-8072.

Humorous Horror

The Pillowman (psychological thriller in three acts, must be 18), Palace Ukraine (V Vasylkivska 103)

27 April and 3 May at 19.00

This gripping psychological thriller, written by Irish playwright Martin McDonagh, has been especially staged for Ukrainian audiences by the Dakh Theatre. It’s the story of a writer named Katurian whose stories set off a series of mysterious child murders.

The actors say this performance is nothing short of live cinema, allowing you to touch the bare world of feelings and extreme limit of human experience. It is three hours of brilliant humour, black humour and horror. Come, but be prepared.

Tickets are 70-150hrv. For more information call 247-2316.

The Boys and Girls of Bel Air

Guano Apes (Germany, alternative rock), Stereo Plaza (Kikvidze 1)

15 May at 20.00

German alt rockers Guano Apes, featuring the fabulous Sandra Nasic, have been to Ukraine a couple of times before. And they seem to enjoy themselves, as they’re back once again. They had a rough go of it in 2006 and even broke up, citing differences in direction as the real problem.

Reuniting in body and spirit in 2009, however, they’re back on track and no longer ‘Walking On a Thin Line’.

Tickets are 350 – 880hrv. For more information call 222-8040.

Coming Out of the Shadows

The Rasmus (Finland, alternative rock), Stereo Plaza (Kikvidze 1)

26 June at 20.00

It was a bit slow going from The Rasmus back in the 90s. However, with their single, In the Shadow, they topped the European charts back in 2003. Success with that same album led them to tours around the world, winning awards and accolades along the way. It’s been a few years since then, but with their most recent self-titled album due out on 18 April, perhaps they will make history repeat itself. Coming to Ukraine for the first time, these goth-flavoured Playboys are going to rock and rock hard. Get your tickets now.

Tickets are 350 – 2000hrv. For more information call 222-8040.

OMG!

Madonna (US, pop), Olympic Stadium (V Vasylkivska 55)

4 August at 19.00

Finally! The world’s most popular diva is coming to Kyiv! Yes, yes, yes, it’s Madonna!!! Making waves since 1982, she’s been ‘expressing herself’ ever since, and has been voted favourite pop artist, best actress, best album, most fashionable artist – the list goes on – from almost every imaginable awards organisation there is. Coming to Kyiv amid her Dance Party Tour, she’ll make it 26 different European cities before moving on to the US, South America and Australia. Will she get you Into The Groove?

Tickets are 450 – 2500hrv. For more information call 080-050-5750.

Australian Guests Find Home in Ukraine

Sophisticated Parisians

20 May at 9.00

27 April at 19.30

Ostrich Farm Tour, Yasnohorodka (Podlesnaya 32, 30km outside of Kyiv) Not far from Kyiv, there exists a ‘little Australia’. As an eco-complex of ostriches, it is one of the biggest ostrich farms in Ukraine, and one that will definitely not disappoint your kids. More than your ordinary zoo, kids can feed the birds, ride donkeys and even camels, as well as chowing down on some home-cooked goodness, such as metre-sized fried eggs! As their first spring tour this season, don’t miss out!

Tickets are 95hrv. For more information call 590-5555, 782-3240 or visit www.ostrich.com.ua

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Paris Combo (France, fusion, soft jazz), Spivoche Pole (near the monument to the Motherland) Extremely popular in the 90s, Paris Combo will perform here in Kyiv this April, bringing the fabulously full French Spring Festival to a close. Blending elements from traditional French chanson, American jazz and swing, Roma and North African music, theirs is a style that cannot be pigeonholed. After six years of silence, they are ringing all the bells from the hilltops of Kyiv, shouting to the world, “We’re back, and we’ve got a new album!”

Admission is free. For more information call 482-2371.

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Unseen Worlds

Exhibition of paintings by Victor Safonkin (Russia), Khanenko Museum (Tereshchenkivska 15)

26 April – 10 June

Czech Masaryk Academy diploma-holder, Franz Kafka European medallist and Alliance Salvador Dali International prizewinner, Russian artist Victor Safonkin will soon be in Kyiv. Or rather, 35 of his paintings, created between 1999 and 2012, will be. Exhibited all over Russia, Austria and Switzerland, as well as many private collections all over the world, he is recognised as an influential European artist in our modern world.

For more information call 235-0225.

Bring On the Destruction

This Will Destroy You (US, postrock), Xlib (Frunze 12)

13 April at 19.00

Vampires in Love Dracula. Eternal Love, Palace Ukraine (V Vasylkivska 103)

20 and 29 April at 19.30

Everyone is alive as long as he loves, and the mystical Dracula is no different; all over his beloved like a rash. As the most famous vampire in the chronicles of spooky stuff, he’ll be appearing on the Kyiv stage with the Kaskader Theatre, telling us his exceptional story. There will be magic, mystery, stunts, erotic dancing and more, revealing a reverse side of a well-known character you too may just fall in love with.

Tickets are 80 – 250hrv. For more information call 247-2316.

Formed back in 2005, these postrockers have made soaring, soulful songs their own domain, in the process drawing favourable comparisons to Sigur Ros and Mogwai. From their first release, Young Mountain, up until last year’s Tunnel Blanket, they have been developing and re-

Aсapellissimo

ManSound (vocal jazz), Freedom (Frunze 134)

25 April at 19.00

Six beautiful voices fuse together this evening to present their latest and greatest show programme, Acapellissimo. The sophistication and diversity of their voices have made this sextet one of the most

fining their sound, adding many new fans in the process. Now is your turn to take them in, in all their epic glory, as they call in on Kyiv on their European tour. As Rock Sound said, “This is music that creates a vortex in your brain, sucking the entire cosmos in through one ear and out the other, leaving behind only the secrets of the universe and the unerring tranquillity of space.

Yes. It really is that good.”

For admission or more information call 417-3233.

recognisable groups in Ukraine and throughout the CIS. Tonight, expect incredible vocals with special guest stars Jamala, and, Honoured Artists of Ukraine, saxophonist Ihor Rudym and violinist Anna Nuzhey harmonising right along.

Tickets are 350 – 400hrv. For more information call 468-3232.

Beck with a Bang

Shannon Leto and Antoine Becks (US, DJ and percussion), Sullivan Room (Prorizna 8)

22 April at 21.00

This hugely successful collaboration continues, with Shannon (brother of Jared and also member of 30 Seconds to Mars) on percussion, while Antoine Becks does DJ duties. They have already killed in Kyiv, blown away Europe, and now they are returning to give us an eagerly-awaited second helping.

What you can expect is a two-hour (at least) marathon of some stomping dance hits, accompanied by seriously banging percussion. Their mission is pretty clear, as Shannon says the purpose of this evening is to be "happy, dance, jump, scream, forget about problems, lose yourself, find yourself..."

Admission is 400hrv. For more information call 066-485-5555.

Eternally Modern Ballet

Class-concert & Radio & Juliet (2 ballets in 1 act each) w/ Denis and Anastasia Matvienko, National Opera Theatre of Ukraine (Volodymyrska 50)

20 and 21 April at 19.00

Ukrainians had the pleasure of witnessing Denis and Anastasia Matvienko in the premiere of Radio & Juliet this autumn. If you missed it, here’s your chance once more!

Steeped in songs by the illustrious Radiohead, lighting effects and video installations add to its charm that much more. In addition, Classconcert is a kind of pre-ballet, as it leads you behind the curtains and demonstrates all the preparation that goes into each and every performance. What goes on before the ballet is no longer a mystery.

Tickets are 400 – 1000hrv. For more information call 279-1169.

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Graham Phillips

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On the Sofa with...

A Lady with

Lavish Charms Winner of Best Ukrainian Act at the MTV Awards in 2007, nominated in 2009, we wondered what Lama has been up to lately. So, we headed over to Cosmopolite in Kyiv where Natalia Dzenkiv was waiting for us on a plush green sofa…

F

irstly, as in all my interviews, there is the question of language. Natalia (for Lama is effectively, she) has some English, so I suggest we do a combination of English and Russian. The trusty backup of my dictaphone and, then later, my lovely Russian teacher Elena, gets us through.

English, Russian or Ukrainian

The first question comes from Natalia: “You are in Ukraine, why are you studying Russian, not Ukrainian?” I tell her it’s because my Russian isn’t yet good enough to start learning another language, and since I’ve started with Russian I’d like to see it through. She smiles at me, sweetly, and switches over to Russian, with bits of English, for the rest of our interview.

You can’t get away from how important Ukrainian, and being Ukrainian, is to Natalia though, “I’m from the west, Ivano Frankivsk, my roots are all there. My family are all from there. We are proud Ukrainians, we speak Ukrainian and it’s the language I can best express myself in. I know that many people are grateful for this, and appreciate it.” I’m certainly one of them. Despite not really understanding quite a lot of what she sings about, without first going via Google translate, I love her voice. It’s so mellifluous, so flowing, so soulful.

So many different styles of music too – from soaring ballads such as Znaesh Yak Bolit to pure pop with Svitlo I Tin and even rather rocky stuff with Ne Mama. I ask her about this, “I have a lot of musical influences,” she says. “The Rolling Stones, Led Zeppelin, The Beatles and many more.

When I start writing a track though, I don’t plan it to be any particular way, it all depends on which way inspiration takes me.”

Life Becomes Art

As to what inspires Natalia, she says the city plays a big part. “Back in Ivano Frankivsk, life is calmer, more peaceful, things move almost as if in slow motion. Moving to Kyiv, I was immediately struck by the pace of life – everything is super-animated, super-charged. It was a little hard to adjust to, but I met someone who helped me make the transition, a spiritual guru, who told me all about Buddhism. This gave

12.indb 20

me insight into how to live happily. Now, Kyiv is my home and I love it – walking in the Botanical Garden, up Andriivskiy Uzviz, even down Khreshchatyk.” Asking after her fans and whether they recognise her, she laughs and admits, “It happens, and it’s always a pleasure.

What happens more often, is that people think I look like Lama!”

Enquiring a little more about her fans and how she connects with them, she says, “Of course, the best way is through concerts. It’s both sad and true to say that since the credit crisis, there have been fewer concerts for the public. A lot of my concerts now are corporate gigs, which are great, but there’s nothing like the connection with a paying public, people who’ve come just to see you. I remember one show in particular, at October Palace here in Kyiv. The show had ended and I just came out on stage and sang to my fans without any backing music as they were leaving.

I was just so full of emotion after the concert that I didn’t want to stop singing! I wanted them to know that our connection doesn’t end with the last number of the night.”

This Year and On

For this year, there’s an album in the works and plans for more concerts. I ask Lama about her status as ‘huge’ in Ukraine, but as of yet not having really broken into the western market.

“Naturally, there are massive advantages in doing that, the system in Ukraine makes it hard to really thrive here. There are a lot of creative, talented people, but there is also quite a lot of amateurism. Ukraine needs western influence and, in turn, I would like to show the west what Ukraine can do.”

So, as Ukraine as a country looks to the west, so too does Lama. With no plans, ever, to sing in Russian, there are already recordings in the English language, something that could really propel her into the larger market her music deserves.

I’m sad to realise that our time is drawing to a close. I rush back to the office to listen to more of her music, understanding it on an even deeper level after my hour with this lovely, genuine, inspired and inspiring young lady.

03.04.2012 18:10:23

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03.04.2012 18:10:38

22

Kyiv Life

Mark and Lena Wright looking fine with Boris Krasnyansky Mr Richard Turner and Anya Yegorova all smiles

Sponsors Charles Otter of Radisson Blu and Karen McPhee of the InterContinental having a grand ole time!

The evening’s MC, DJ Pasha awarding a fabulous week away in Spain to one lucky guest Roddy Deans piping up a storm!

Tina Karol stops to thank her fans

Lions Andrew Kinsel, President Marjon Cals, and Richard Creagh making it a great night for one and all Ian Borden, Walter Gordon and Gerard Gallet dressed to the nines

The boys – Robert Kulewicz,Mukesh Ghai, Jorge Zukoski, Petro Rondiak and Lev Holubets

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Martin Nunn and Elena Luzhanovskaya smiling for What’s On

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Silent auction winner Keith Rye with a seemingly appropriate lot!

Ali Kardes, Anna Ganich, Dave Young, Anna Berestian, Niall Cullins and Katya Krylova stop for a pic

Kamalia doing her thing

Lena and Stuart McKenzie in a rare moment of calm

GM of the Hyatt Gordon Campbell with the incredible Julie Downes by his side

A Good Night

ALLEGRO CONCERT HALL Burns Night 2012, what a night! With drinks, dinner, dancing, entertainment and tonnes of prizes, there are few events in Kyiv that can rival this annual meeting of charitable minds. The date was 31 March, and it all got started with a little song and dance from Kamalia and her dance crew. The night continued to build with the arrival of the haggis! Stuart McKenzie led an international gang of bards as they recited a poem to the savoury sheep pluck, at which point it appeared on tables throughout the venue. With a delicious dinner by the Hyatt cleared away, Scottish piper Roddy Deans and his Reel Time band got everyone up out of their seats to dance the rest of the night. But not before more than $120,000 was raised for those less fortunate all over the country. Well done Lions and well done Kyiv for another fabulous display of generosity done with flair!

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Ode to a Haggis done in the traditional Scottish, as well as Russian, Spanish, French, German and Italian!

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Kyiv Life Spring in all its Glory

Baron Konstantin von Bossner and Serhiy Rogal sharing stories over a couple of cigars

Lions Club President Marjon Kals with husband Ton Huls supporting another of Kyiv’s great charities

TalentedUkrainian designer Anzhela Lisitsa with husband Mike Brennan enjoying the night

KCC Vice President Andriy Guliy and President Milan Paevich looking rather dapper

Ambassador of Egypt HE Yasser Ateph, Palestinian Ambassador HE Mohammed AL Assad and Ambassador of Kuwait HE Yousef Al Gabandi The Ambassador’s spouse, Mrs Shalra Saleem, with Chief of State Protocol Oksana Petryaeva

Day of Pakistan in Kyiv

I N T E R C O N T I N E N TA L The Traditional Spring Ball, organised by the Kyiv Cigar Club, was held on 17 March this year, at the fabulous InterContinental Kyiv.

The beautiful weather turned out more then 200 guests, for a fantastic evening of dinner and dancing. As part of the entertainment, Zarina had a number of the club members’ wives gilded in jewels, while international vocal laureate, Olya Oshytko, kept the crowd entertained with songs from her repertoire.

Thanks to the evening’s sponsors, everyone left with some prize or another, all happy to be a part of the evening and this generous charitable organisation.

Ambassador of Turkey HE Mehmet Samsar (right) in joyful conversation Pakistan Ambassador HE Ahmed Novacom Samil Mela (right) cutting the celebratory cake with Mr Ihor Poliga (centre)

HOUSE OF RECEPTIONS To celebrate the Day of Pakistan and the 20th anniversary of establishing diplomatic relations between our two countries, Ambassador HE Ahmed Novacom Samil Mela invited one and all out to a beautiful reception on 23 March. In addition to a great guest list, including diplomats, politicians and businessmen, attendees had the opportunity to try the delicious Pakistani food on offer. Congratulations to the Pakistan community here in Kyiv!

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03.04.2012 18:12:21

25

“The first impression is really good: you suddenly realise you are taken into a slightly different world, even within the centre of Kyiv!” – Mark and Katya Burden

Svetlana Shulevsya says it’s such a great place, you can’t help but “feel at home”

Jai Narula thought “the food was fantastic”, and Natalia Trifonova said even though she’s new to Kyiv, she and her husband would definitely come back

Marina Shpak of Antwerpen and TUCC chairman Terry Pickard. Mr Pickard was very complimentary of the evening saying, “the chef is a very talented young man, trained in Belgium”

Belgian Hideaway in Heart of Kyiv

ANTWERPEN The evening of 23 March saw a small and intimate gathering at this new “antique restaurant” right in the heart of the city. Organised by The Ukrainian Connoisseur’s Club, this evening marked the first time this year members were brought together to experience the best in culinary excellence Kyiv has to offer. Chef Maksim Statkevych worked his magic over five delicious courses, including Tuna and Scallop Tartare, Seafood Surprise in Spinach Batter with Leffe Beer, and Herb-poached Salmon with Potato Espuma and White Asparagus to name but a few. Throw in a number of wonderfully-paired wines, and you’ve got a 5-star evening, a feat not achieved by many restaurants in town. To come along to the next event, make sure you write to Terry@naipickard.com

Iryna Konovalova is always happy to attend TUCC events Andriy and Natalia Belik have been members of TUCC for four years. However, “we haven’t had anything like the food created tonight for some time!”

“We want to thank the chef! All of the food this evening was very exclusive. And the wine! It was very successful!” – Svetlana Demchak and Elena Kravchuk

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Natalya Portna and Olga Markovets of Kabare were both very impressed with the creativity of the food, and thought the wine really complimented the dishes – high praise being the wine connoisseurs they are!

03.04.2012 18:13:00

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Take Me Out

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Kyiv Telephone code is +380 44

RESTAURANTS Al Faro V Vasylkivska 49a 503-5091 Hours: 10.00 – 23.30 Italian cuisine Ani V Vasylkivska 72 590-2565 Hours: 11.00 – 23.00 Caucasian cuisine Antwerpen Pushkinska 38 234-1300 Hours: 12.00 – 23.00 European cuisine Arena Entertainment Baseina 2a 492-0000 Hours: 9.00 until the last guest European cuisine Arizona BBQ Naberezhno Khreshchatytska 25 425-2438 Hours: 08.00 – 24.00 American cuisine Bacchus Class Chapaeva 2/16 234-6506 Hours: 09.00 – until the last guest Wine Bar Bar on 8 (Hyatt Regency) Alla Tarasova 5 581-1234 Hours: 11:00 – 02:00 Cocktail Bar/Fusion Barsuk Kutuzova 3a 050-386-3629 Hours: 08.00 – 23.00 European/local cuisine Bazaar Brasserie Bessarabska Pl 2 238-2111 Hours: 10.00 – 23.00 European cuisine Beef Meat & Wine Shota Rustaveli 11 225-0035 Hours: 12.00 – 24.00 Fusion Belle Vue Saksahanskoho 7 289-8780 Hours: Sun-Thurs 11.00 – 23.00, Fri-Sat 11.00 – 02.00 Belgian/European cuisine Belvedere Dniprovskiy Uzviz 288-5070 Hours: 12.00 – until the last guest European/Japanese cuisine b-hush InterContinental Kyiv V Zhytomyrska 2a 219-1919 Hours: Sun-Wed18.00 – 02.00, Thurs-Sat18.00 – 04.00 Cocktail Bar/Fusion Boutique (Riviera on Podol) Sahaydachnoho St 15 581-2898 Hours: 24 hours European/Ukrainian cuisine

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Brasserie (Cosmopolite Hotel) Hetmana Vadima 6 205-3520 Hours: 10.00 – 23.00 French cuisine Brunello Bar (Hyatt Regency) Alla Tarasova 5 581-1234 Hours: 19.00 – 04.00 Wine Bar Buddha Bar Khreshchatyk 14 270-7676 Hours: Sun-Wed 13.00 – 02.00, Thurs-Sat 13.00 – 04.00 Asian/Fusion Byblos Artema 20 288-1888 Hours: 12.00 – until the last client Fusion Café de Paris Andriivskiy Uzviz 34b 221-2218 Hours: 24 hours French cuisine Carpaccio Café Sofievska 14 278-1612 Hours: various European cuisine Celentano www.pizza-celentano.com for locations Hours: various Pizza/Italian cuisine Cimes Sahaidachnoho 10/5 428-7579 Hours: 11.00 – 23.00 Kosher cuisine Cipollino Hrushevskoho 1a 279-9191 Hours: 11.00 – 23.30 Children/Italian cuisine Ciro’s Pomodoro Shota Rustaveli 12 221-4545 Hours: 12.00 – 02.00 Italian cuisine Citronelle Khmelnytskoho 23 499-3936 Hours: 08.30 – 23.00 French cuisine Comme il Faut V Zhytomyrska 2a 219-1919 Hours: 11.00 – 02.00 French cuisine Concord Pushkinska 42/4 234-7788 Hours: 12.00 – 24.00 Fusion Cosmopolite Hetmana Vadima 6 www.cosmopolite-kiev.com 205-3520 Hours: 11.00 – 01.00 Private brewery Crep De Chine Hoholivska 25 537-7070 Hours: 08.00 – 23.00 French cuisine Da Vinci Fish Club Volodymyrska 12 490-3434 Hours: 11.00 – 24.00 Mediterranean cuisine

Deja Vue B Khmelnytskoho 30 235-9802 Hours: 12.00 – 02.00 International cuisine Device Café Pobedy Pr 136 277-1555 Hours: 12.00 – until the last guest French/Ukrainian cuisine Fellini Horodetskoho St 5 279-5462 Open: 24 hours French/Italian cuisine Fiesta Horkoho 115d 353-7685 Hours: 11.00 until the last guest Latino cuisine Fiji Bar (via Corsair) Sahaidachnoho 14-v 425-5578 Hours: 24 hours Cocktail Bar Fortetsya Gongadze 21 463-5130 Hours: 24 hours European/Ukrainian cuisine Foodtourist V Vasylkivska 5 095-780-6070 Hours: 08.00 – until the last client Gastro-bar Golden Gate Irish Pub Zolotovorotskaya 15 235-5188 Hours: 11.00 – 01.00 Pub/restaurant Goodman Steakhouse Zhulianska 75 596-0000 Hours: 12.00 – 00.00 American steakhouse Grill Asia (Hyatt Regency) Alla Tarasova 5 581-1234 Hours: 6:00 - 24:00 European/Asian cuisine Han Gang (Slavutich Hotel) Entuziastiv 1 294-1414 Hours: 11.00 – 00.00 Korean cuisine Himalaya Khreshchatyk 23 270-5437 Hours: 11.30 – 23.30 Indian cuisine Hinkali Shota Rustaveli 4 234-0692 Hours: 24 hours Caucasian cuisine Hunter Saksahanskoho 147/5 236-3735 Hours: 12.00 – 24.00 International cuisine Icon Bar Basseina 5a 234-6996 Hours: Wed 18.00 – 01.00, Thurs-Sat 18.00 – 06.00 European cuisine

Ikra Honchara 67 067-300-8871 Hours: 11.00 – 24.00 Japanese/ Mediterranean cuisine

Lale Sofiivska 14 278-7566 Hours: 12.00 until the last guest Turkish cuisine

Il Molino Moskovskaya 17 280-7722 Hours: 11.00 – 23.00 Pizza/Italian cuisine

La Paella Donetska 10 223-7242 Hours: 11.00 – 23.00 Spanish cuisine

Il Patio Ihorivska 13/5 501-7464 Hours: 11.00 – 23.00 Italian cuisine

Le Cosmopolite Volodymyrska 47 278-7278 Hours: Sun-Thurs 10.00 – 23.00, Fri-Sun 10.00 – 02.00 Belgian/European cuisine

Karavan Klovskiy Uzviz 10 280-9577 Hours: 12.00 – 24.00 Uzbek cuisine Kazbek L Ukrainka Blvd 30a 285-4805 Hours: 11.00 – 24.00 Caucasian cuisine Krendel Pavlovska 17 585-9897 Hours: Mon-Fri 09.00 – 22.00.

Sat-Sun 10.00 – 22.00 Russian cuisine Kupetcheskiy Dvor 24km down Stolychne highway 067-246-6246 Hours: 11.00 until the last guest Russian cuisine Kuvshyn Fedorova 10 592-6363 Hours: 12.00 – 24.00 Caucasian cuisine La Bodeguita del Medio Yaroslaviv Val 20/21 272-6500 Hours: Mon-Wed 12.00 – 00.00, Thurs-Sat 13.00 – 00.00, Sun 16.00 – 03.00 Cuban cuisine

Limoncello Moskovska 22  254-2024 Hours: 24 hours Fusion Lipsky Osobnyak Lypska 15 254-0090 Hours: 11.30 – 01.00 Ukrainian cuisine Lucky Pub V Vasylkivska 13 499-1313 Hours: 11.00 – 01.00 Pub/restaurant Lun Van Khmelnytskoho 26 279-8191 Hours: 11.00 – 02.00 Chinese cuisine Lyudi Casual Food V Vasylkivska 5 067-322-7575 Hours: Sun-Wed 12.00 – 03.00, Thurs-Sat 12.00 – 06.00 Italian/European cuisine Mai Tai V Vasylkivska 66 583-5553 Hours: 12.00 – 06.00 European/Asian cuisine

La Cantina Yaroslaviv Val 20 234-7074 Hours: 11.00 – 00.00 Italian cuisine

Mambo Druzhby Narodiv 5 522-8224 Hours: 12.00 – 02.00 Latin cuisine

L’Accente Lesi Ukrainka 5 200-5002 Open: 10.00 – 24.00 Mediterranean cuisine

Mantra V Vasylkivska 5 221-4448 Hours: 11.00 – 24.00 Asian/Fusion

Marmaris Hlybotchytska 40 586-4233 Hours: 10.00 – 02.00 Turkish cuisine

Nirvana Lounge L Ukrainky 28b 285-5215 Hours: 12.00 – 02.00 Indian cuisine

Marocana L Ukrainka 24 254-4999 Hours: 09.00 – 02.00 Fusion

Nobu Shota Rustaveli 12 246-7734 Hours: 11.00 – 24.00 Asian, Japanese cuisine

Marrakesh Sahaidachnoho 24 494-0494 Hours: Sun-Thurs 12.00 – 01.00, Fri-Sat 12.00 – 14.00 Moroccan/French/ Japanese cuisine Mayachok Lutneva 58a 585-3941 Hours: 12.00 – 00.00 European cuisine Meat & Fish Pylypa Orlyka 6 253-8097 Hours: 08.00 – 23.00 French cuisine Mille Miglia (Radisson Blu Hotel) Yaroslaviv Val 22 492-2255 Hours: 12.00 – 23.00 Italian cuisine Mimino Spaska 10a 417-3545 Hours: 11.00 – 00.00 Georgian cuisine Monaco V Zhytomyrska 20a 590-0151 Hours: 12.00 – 06.00 Mediterranean cuisine Murakami www.murakami.ua for locations 230-8888 Hours: Sun-Thurs 09.00 – 23.00, Fri-Sat 09.00 – 02.00 Japanese cuisine/Sushi Myka Khreshchatyk 46a 227-8943 Hours: 12.00 – 24.00 International cuisine New York Bagel Café Shota Rustaveli 15 235-9437 Hours: Mon-Fri 09.00 – 21.00, Sat-Sun 10.00 – 23.00 Café-style

Non-Stop Peremohy Pr 6 236-0501 Hours: 24 hours International cuisine Olivera V Zhytomyrska 2a 219-1919 Hours: 06.30 – 23.00 Mediterranean cuisine O’Brien’s Irish Pub Mykhailivska 17a 279-1584 Hours: 08.00 – 02.00 Pub/restaurant O’Connor’s Horiva 15/8 425-7788 Hours: 11.00 – 02.00 Pub/restaurant Ok Bar V Vasylkivska 94 225-0220 Hours: Sun-Thurs 08.00 – 00.00, Fri-Sat 08.00 – 02.00 European/Asian cuisine Oliva www.oliva.com.ua for locations 234-5592 Hours: various Italian cuisine Oopen (Ibis Hotel) Shevchenko Blvd 25 591-2222 Hours: 06.30 – 23.00 International cuisine O’Panas Tereschenkivskaya 10 585-05-23 Hours: 10.00 until the last guest Ukrainian cuisine Osteria Pantagruel Lysenka 1 278-8142 Hours: Mon-Fri 08.00 – 23.00, Sat-Sun 11.00 – 23.00 Italian cuisine

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Pelmennytsa V Vasylkivska 56 287-1073 Hours: 24 hours Russian cuisine Pena Yaroslaviv Val St 30/18 234-1701 Hours: 12.00 – 24.00 Japanese/ Mediterranean cuisine Pizzeria Napulè Mechnykova 9 495-9263 Hours: 12.00 – 23.00 Pizza/Italian cuisine Porta Pia T Shevchenka 36a 235-7205 Hours: Sun-Thurs 11.00 – 24.00, Fri-Sat 11.00 – 01.00 Italian cuisine

Repriza www.repriza.com for various locations 502-2346 Hours: various Café-style

Shokolad Shota Rustaveli 39-41 289-0194 Hours: 09.00 until the last guest European cuisine

Safe V Vasylkivska 23a 536-0157 Hours: 11.00 – 0 6.00 European/Japanese cuisine

Shynok L Ukrainki 28v 285-5777 Hours: 12.00 – 00.00 Ukrainian cuisine

Shaffron Vorovskoho 3 969-1010 Hours: Sun-Wed 12.00 – 00.00, Thurs-Sat 12.00 – 05.00 Asian cuisine Sam’s Steak House Zhulianska 37 287-2000 Hours: 11.00 – 00.00 American steakhouse

Skatert Samobranka Bohatyrska St 26 592-0020 Hours: 24 hours European cuisine Sky-art Café Baseina 1/3-2 561-7841 Hours: Tues-Sun 12.00 – until the last guest Vegetarian cuisine

Porto V Vasylkivska 72 206-8387 Hours: 12.00 – 24.00 Mediterranean cuisine

San Tori Sahaidachnoho 41 462-4994 Hours: 11.00 – 01.00 Thai/Japanese cuisine

Soho Artema 82 484-0351 Hours: 11.00 – 00.00 American steakhouse and seafood

Praga Akademika Hlushkova 1 526-9990 Hours: 12.00 – 00.00 European/Japanese

Serebro Mechnikova 3 096-303-0000 Hours: 24 hours Ukrainian/European/ Asian cuisine

Stare Zaporizhzhia Sahaydachnoho 27 425-5161 Hours: 11.00 – 24.00 European/Ukrainian cuisine

Razgulyaeva Stolichnoe Schosse 70 259-1700 Hours: 11.00 – until the last guest Entertainment complex

Shangrila Yaroslavska 5/2 417-8119 Hours: 11.00 – 02.00 Uzbek/Japanese cuisine

Stefanos Fine Food Factory Volodymyrska 4 279-1121 Hours: 11.00 – 24.00 Italian cuisine

Sushiya www.sushiya.ua for locations 225-5555 Hours: various Japanese/Thai cuisine Tampopo Saksahanskoho 55 289-2999 Hours: Mon-Fri 10.00 – 24.00, Sat-Sun 11.00 – 24.00 Japanese cuisine Tarantino Sahaidachnoho 35 463-7390 Hours: Sun-Wed 12.00 – 24.00, Thurs-Sat 12.00 – 06.00 Italian/European/ Japanese cuisine Teatro (Opera Hotel) B Khmelnytskoho 53 581-7070 Hours: 06.30 – 23.00 Mediterranean cuisine Tequila House Spasskaya 8a 417-0358 Hours: 12.00 – 23.00 Mexican cuisine

Terracotta Pushkinska 5-7/29 537-4535 Hours: 07.00 – 23.00 Mediterranean cuisine

Under Wonder V Vasylkivska 21 234-2181 Hours: 24 hours Italian/French cuisine

TGI Friday’s Besarabska Pl 5a 235-4264 Hours: 12.00 – 24.00 American cuisine

Va Bene Khmelnytskoho 19-21 377-7565 Hours: Mon-Fri 08.30 – until the last guest, Sat-Sun 10.00 – until last guest Italian cuisine

Tike Sahaidachnoho 31 417-4062 Hours: 11.00 – 23.00 Turkish cuisine Touch Cafe Shota Rustaveli 16 206-4920 Hours: 12.00 – until the last guest European/Thai/ Japanese cuisine Trattoria Gustosa I Mazepa 5 288-8828 Hours: Mon-Fri 08.00 – 23.00, Sat-Sun 10.00 – 23.00 Italian cuisine Tsarske Selo I Mazepa 42/1 280-3066 Hours: 11.00 – 01.00 Ukrainian cuisine

Terrace B Vozdvyzhenska St 60a 531-9933 Hours: 12.00 – 24.00 European cuisine

Tubiteyka Tarasivska St 29/50 287-0242 Hours: 8.00 – 23.00 Asian cuisine

Frishberg & Partners 10 Gorky Street, Suite 8 01004 Kyiv, Ukraine Tel: (38044) 585-8464 Fax: (38044) 235-6342

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Varenichnaya #1 Esplanadna 28 287-1539 Hours: 24 hours Ukrainian cuisine Vernissage Andriivskiy Uzviz 30 425-2403 Hours: 11:00 – 23:00 Artema 10 272-2003 Hours: Mon-Fri 08.00 – 22.00, Sat-Sun 11.00 – 22.00 French cuisine

Wagon V Vasylkivska 52 287-0490 Hour: 12.00 until the last guest Creative cuisine Wineport O Honchara 67 501-1695 Hours: 11:00 - 23:00 Italian cuisine Yakitoriya www.yakitoria.com.ua for locations 237-5577 Hours: various Japanese/Thai cuisine 7 Fridays City Café Khmelnytskoho 29 278-1187 Hours: 12.00 – until the last guest Café-style

Viola’s Bierstube Shevchenko Blvd 1a 235-3751 Hours: 11.00 – 06.00 Pub/restaurant Volkonsky Bakery www.wolkonsky.com for locations 244-1360 Hours: various Café-style

For information on how to list your restaurant here, please call 459-0553.

www.frishberg.com

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Graham Phillips

acceptance. Then, the return to happy(ish) domesticity. You get on with the business of living together, developing your careers, understanding that although you don’t love this person as you once did, it’s probably the best you’re going to get. It has come to my attention though, that things are quite different here.

You make the proposal, you get the (quite likely) acceptance. Then, you step onto the ‘postacceptance acceleration programme’. That involves a wedding date set within minutes, a venue booked within hours and a dress purchased within days. Of course, for an international chap, there is the added documentation complication, but don’t think that’ll slow things down any. The marriage juggernaut has by now taken on a life of its own. Even Ukrainian officialdom and incompetency of said officialdom, are powerless to stop it. There is a force greater than that involved, people-in-law, friends, friends of friends. They steamroller everything in their path and march you towards the big day, which becomes bigger and scarier the quicker you approach it. If, by this time, you’ve started feeling a little frostiness around the feet area, you’ll find warm socks put on you before you can say ‘schtoi takoi’.

And, how do I know all this? Well, as Jane Austen once said “It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune must be in want of a wife.”

Tweets of the Week, roaming the virtual streets to pick up what’s going down. This week, Docudays and Ukraine Fashion Week had twitterers tweeting away quite the thing...

Just Do It @JustDoItFilm And further afield in #Kiev, make sure you catch #justdoit at Docudays UA festival, 6:30pm plus Q&A with @Emily_James! bit.ly/GPozIZ Leah Borromeo @monstris In Kiev? Sick of being chicken? Come see @JustDoItFilm tomorrow. Q&A w @emily_james after: is.gd/c2b2iv Rocco Leo Gaglioti @rlgrocks I’m heading to the spa for a nice full body massage & a nice day of relaxation :) after NYFW, LAFW and ukraine fashion week I deserve it! :) TerRicia @StyleRicia What’s not to like! Love it!! RT @theCaprissimo: Ukraine Fashion Week www.fashionweek.ua/en w/ La Daria ... m.tmi.me/njOHi Collete, Ralf A.L.L @rcollete I am in Ukraine in Kiev, to fashion week, I’ll soon be reporting on the major hits Ukrainian fashion week. pic.twitter.com/BBBiCBxO Graham dear!

My name is Ksenia. I’m 26-years old and have lived in Kyiv for nine years. All this time, I have been learning and building my career – I have two university degrees and now am studying for a third. I am not ostentatiously beautiful and do not wear heels and skirts, I know well enough what most men are interested in and don’t want to pander to that. They are only interested in our bodies. I want a man to see not only my breasts and bottom, but also the beauty of my soul. Unfortunately, not a single man has looked this far, so far. Graham, please tell me, in this world, where are the good men?

Thank you! – Ksenia Ksenia dear!

I kindly refer you to the words of the great philosopher, Lady Bonnie Tyler, “Where have all the good men gone, and where are all the gods? Where’s the street-wise Hercules to fight the rising odds?

Isn’t there a white knight upon a fiery steed? Late at night I toss and I turn and dream of what I need – I need a hero! I’m holding out for a hero ‘til the end of the night. He’s gotta be strong and he’s gotta be fast and he’s gotta be fresh from the fight.” Give this a blast at karaoke, that should sort things out. Perhaps. Or maybe the blokes will just be ogling your goods while you croon.

Best wishes, Graham

Varenyky

What’s Hot

I

f you are in England, you should definitely visit Winchester Cathedral – one of the largest gothic cathedrals in Europe and quite breathtaking. You can even stroll inside it and find the grave of Jane Austen. Her life was a sadly short one, ending at 41, but she certainly packed it in. And as for classic quotes, she could really throw them out, take, “It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune must be in want of a wife,” for example. This is a truth I acknowledge in myself. Which isn’t to say I have a good fortune, though I do work quite a bit and thus make a living. Plus, I’m now in my mid-thirties, as my parents, on occasion, remind me. I didn’t come to Ukraine looking for a wife, but nor it must be said, am I completely opposed to the idea. After all, all those websites boasting Ukrainian Wives and so on must still be in business for a reason.

I do find it generally assumed here, among ladies, that I’ve already been married, and among men that I must be gay. Neither is true, you’ll have to take my word. As for marriage, I have a vague idea what a Boston Marriage is (something about ladies) but, I know more about an English Engagement. It’s something I feel quite comfortable with - you meet a girl, date for a little while, go on holiday together (that’s a biggie), then, move in. That does it for a few years. Then, the English Engagement comes. The proposal, the (hopeful)

Puzata Hata have reduced the price of potato varenyky down to just 8.50hrv – making these little suckers a very inexpensive and tasty treat. Smachnoho!

Kellen Derry

Our cover Casanova. The question is – now he’s told all his secrets, is his game up, or is it just starting? Ladies, you decide…

Who Wants to be a Millionaire?

According to the tax service, more than 300 in Ukraine have declared an income of over 1 million. Ok, it’s in Hryvnias, but still, a long way from selling sunflower seeds from a bucket.

Napkins

Now they hand you them in Puzata Hata, rather than let you take your own. You can tell how much the girl likes you by how many she gives you. I got half a napkin the other day.

Furnaces

What’s Not

What’s Wrong Tweets

What’s What

That Said

Word reaches us that Ukrainian steelmaker Donetskstal Metallurgical Plant CJSC will be closing their huge openheart furnace. Awful lot of jobs there, not good news...

Shevchenko

It’s the Euro 2012 final, last few seconds of the match, ball comes to Sheva … goal!!! Or, perhaps not, as the veteran battles fitness and form to try just to force himself into Euro 2012 contention.

If you have a question about life, work or relationships in Kyiv please write to graham@whatson-kiev.com

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