What's On Kyiv Issue 13 2012

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What’s Up

Taste Cannot Be Bought

The scandal regarding President Yanukovych’s appropriation of his Mezhygirya mansion will be a long-lived memory in the minds of many a Ukrainian. Reawakening the horror with their most recent investigation into one of his other properties, Ukrainska Pravda are to thank. While much smaller than his 5-storey estate with a massively guarded green gate, it is equally grotesque in its fantastic waste of State funds.

The building in question is one of his his dachas, or what the President refers to as his galeon, or “palace on water”. Built on the banks of the Kyiv Sea, it is used solely by the country’s number one man for rest and relaxation.

Here Mr Yanukovych can let his hair down, after hours and hours of working through the country’s problems.

The main hall is for banquets, and is complete with a stage (for old Vik to practice his favourite 80s covers most likely), where marble, crystal and gold gilding cover the area from floor to ceiling. With a price tag in the realm of 75 million hryvnia, one of the three chandeliers hanging in this particular hall cost $97,000 alone. Not bad for a weekend cabin. We can only imagine what chandeliers in his main estate go for.

Kyiv On Top

End to Price Gouging

Those of us who have lived in Ukraine for a while know what it’s like.

You go to the supermarket, only to find the products you purchased last week cost a hryvnia more. Then, a few weeks later, it’s another hryvnia. Well, respite from this consumer pain is in store as the March inflation rate was at its lowest level for nine years.

Prices were up only 1.9% from a year earlier, compared to 3% in February. To put into context what fantastic news this is, you only need to go back to 2008 when inflation was running at a 20% annual level – a quite punishing figure. Slowing inflation has, along with making that Silpo run a bit more bearable, allowed the bank to cut its main interest rate for the first time in two years. This, in turn, provides a muchneeded boost to the economy.

However, others have been quick to point out that with Yanukovych set to shell out big time on social projects ahead of parliamentary elections, and a predicted problematic harvest, this could be a temporary state of affairs. So, enjoy those only marginally increased prices while you can!

There is nothing worse than being ripped off. That is something everybody agrees on. What some people may have trouble seeing eye to eye on, however, is what constitutes a swindle, a con, a scam. Hotel owners, for example, might say that they are completely justified in raising the prices of their rooms to extortionate levels so that they gouge football-loving citizens to the point of giving up their right arm, or at the very least their little finger. Football fans, on the other hand, are saying, actually, no, these increases are ridiculous, and giving up body parts, no matter how small, is out of the question.

Luckily, not necessarily for those on the side of the hotels, hostels and park benches, President Yanukovych has called on his ministers of infrastructure and economy to bring the prices back down to “economically-grounded” levels. How they plan to do that, however, has not been specified. And, to be honest, we’re kind of stumped that Yanukovych would even speak up. But then, he’s always full of surprises that guy.

More Russian, Please!

After our dear President made a public statement regarding Russian, and its impending transition to second national language of Ukraine, our treasured Minister of Education, Science, Youth and Sport, Dmytro Tabachnyk, has tried hard to catch up. One of the things he has realised is that, if Russian is indeed to

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We are far cooler and richer than many other cities around the world, if Kyiv’s apartment prices are anything to go by. We’ve always known that the Ukrainian capital can be a pretty pricey place to live, but in our pursuit to continue moving onward and upward, we have shot past even Moscow in terms of realty, putting us on par with London and New York!

The numbers show that one cubic metre in Moscow in 2007 cost as much as it did in Paris ($5,000), while Kyiv was comparable to prices found in St Petersburg at that time. Over a period of five years, however, a single cubic metre, in a prestigious apartment here in Kyiv, is now worth between 10 – 20 thousand dollars. “Worth”, of course, may well be up for debate. There’s no denying “progress”, however.

Every Little Bit Helps

become a State language, the country is going to need more Russian schools.

“The problem is tremendous – over 1,000 parents drive their children to the right bank every day, because there are no Russian institutions on the left bank,” Tabachnyk has been quoted as saying. Not only a problem for the parents, he uses the Almighty as motivation for his cause as well, saying, “It would be a crime to lose these God-given languages and cultures in future generations.”

The Education Minister goes on to reveal that Kyiv parents have even come close to attacking the Ministry due to the lack of Russian schools available, complaining that only five out of 537 Russianteaching schools in Kyiv is simple unacceptable.

Apparently, 16% of schools have been begging for Russian textbooks, to which Tabachnyk says, if “by some mistake you receive those in Ukrainian”, continue to fight for what you deserve!

What you deserve? Now there’s an interesting concepts.

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This Week in History 14 April 1768

A Cossack and peasant rebellion against Poland, called Koliyivshchyna, breaks out. The leaders of the uprising are Maksym Zalizniak and Ivan Gonta. The rebellion expands fast from the right bank of the Dnipro River to the river Syan. In the three weeks of rebellion over 2,000 people are killed.

Freedom of Creep Drug Lab Uncovered

Science labs in Kyiv schools are experimenting with far more than just formaldehyded frogs.

According to the Security Service of Ukraine (SBU), they’ve also got underground drug labs on the go too! Of course, there is no better or more secure way to ensure that your illegal drug operation remains under the radar than to have the whole thing contained in a juvenile educational centre. At least, that is the thinking of three men who have been taken in for questioning concerning the massive find.

Led to a workshop in a school within the Shevchenkivskiy region, the SBU uncovered equipment for making psychotropic substances, digital scales, herbal mixtures, solvents and two bags weighing in at 15kg with ready-to-sell substances, destined for nightclubs around the city.

Receiving all necessary ingredients from South-Eastern Asia by international express post, the three men, one a Kyiv schoolteacher and former employee of the Ministry of Internal Affairs, have been taken in and could face up to 12 years in prison.

Disgraced former International Monetary Fund chief Dominique Strauss-Kahn has made a successful return to the international speech circuit, right here in Kyiv. It’s been a while now since his career nosedived, in the wake of hotel maid Nafissatou Diallo’s allegations that he had sexually assaulted her in the New York hotel she was working in. He was forced to resign from his post and, despite charges subsequently being dropped, DSK (as he refers to himself) is the very embodiment of ‘damaged goods’.

Earlier this year, he was even detained for questioning by French police as part of an investigation into a suspected prostitution ring.

And, so it was, he came to Kyiv last week to relaunch his speaking career. Not that it was his first attempt at a return. Last month’s gig at the University of Cambridge in England, which ended with him being bundled into the back of a police car to escape angry protesters was a much better inauguration.

No such problems here in Ukraine though, as every angle of the Viktor Pinchuk-organised debate was covered, so as to avoid any embarrassment.

Questions were strictly controlled, with journalists not even being allowed to ask at all. So in the interest of no one, DSK waffled on about his vision of the future global economy. And Ukraine scores another victory for freedom of speech.

Play It Again, Yulia

Let’s have a little look at the Tymoshenko story to date. This is a woman who only learned Ukrainian in her mid-30s, then made it both one of her defining characteristics and key political calling cards. She is one who ran her campaign on the platform of being a ‘woman of the people’, while residing comfortably inside the Top 100 Richest Ukrainians. She was, and maybe still is, a champion of Ukraine as a modern, European country. She is also now a woman refusing medical care in that very same country.

That’s right folks, our braided avenger is getting all ‘don’t come near me with your thermometers, Ukrainians!’, as she refuses medical treatment in this country. The doctors of the Ukrzaliznytsia clinic in Kharkiv are a bit miffed at this, describing it as a “short-sighted” decision, and defending their clinic as “able to provide modern treatment”.

So, it’s fine to laud Ukraine and all its wonderful services and institutions when seeking election. When you’re a bit ill yourself though, that’s another story. Of course, we at What’s On would never go as far as to say anything like “Hypocritical Harpy Strikes Again” or “Two-faced Tymoshenko Retaliates”!

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15 April 1893

One of Ukraine’s most prominent sopranos, Solomiya Krushelnytska, makes her debut with Donizetti’s La Favorita. Less than ten years later, she is known worldwide, from Europe to America.

15 April 1905

Celebrated ballet dancer and choreographer, Serge Lifar, is born in Kyiv. He enjoys huge popularity in the 30s while creating ballets in Paris. In 1994, the First International Ballet Contest is named after this prominent choreographer.

17 April 1970

The biggest centre for culture and arts, Palace Ukraine, is opened. Initial plans were to construct the auditorium where St Michael’s Golden-Domed Monastery now stands, but plans were eventually changed to its current location. All of the architects who worked on the project, under its head designer, Yevhenia Marychenko, are awarded the Shevchenko National Prize upon its completion.

16 April 2000

A four-part referendum is held in Ukraine regarding amendments to the current constitution. Leonid Kuchma wants to know whether voters approve increasing the powers of the President. The vote is passed. However, it is not implemented, as the referendum is considered unconstitutional.

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Vadym Mishkoriz

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Ukraine Today

e h t f o n o i t u l o v E

n a c n a C

A Little Background

The People’s Almanac claims that the first modern striptease occurred on 9 February 1893, and who would have guessed that it took place in the Moulin Rouge during an amateur pageant show. One of the participants wanted to win so much that she decided to remove the clothes she did have on just to impress the audience. The ended with her in jail for her troubles, with someone else winning the contest.

At that time, a dance called the can-can was thought to be the most vulgar way of expressing creativity. The dance evolved over the past century, getting to the point when not

When one hears the word striptease, the first thing that springs to mind is sexy chicks jumping up and down half (preferably completely) naked. That’s what I thought upon proposing the idea of doing a striptease feature, during a recent What’s On editorial. With 2/3 of our team female, the idea was quickly converted into doing a striptease piece – not about hot lady dancers, though. On the contrary, about muscular machos ready to bare all for foaming-at-the-mouth females. Unable to go against the decision of my lady boss, I accepted my fate and visited a ladies’ night in Azure, one that takes place here every Thursday, to have a chat with a male stripper. only women, but men too, started thinking of stripping as a good way of making some extra cash. In the modern world, it’s pretty easy to find male dancers sensually removing their clothes in front of a screaming, emotionallycharged audience.

While some might think that male striptease is vulgar and dirty, in fact it’s something much more, as many say that male dancers have to work twice as hard to make their acts look professional. The explanation for this is simple: a man’s brain stops working when he sees a naked girl dancing in front of him. While women, on the other hand, pay much more attention to the storyline and how a stripper moves (or so I’ve heard), independent of how many clothes he happens to be wearing at that moment.

tell me all about the inner workings of his craft if I came down to do the interview. I’m not sure why we couldn’t have just continued on the phone. But I’m here now, ever so slightly apprehensive, and we get started – chatting that is.

An Awkward Meeting

Moving onto an evening I wouldn’t soon want to repeat, my arrival at the club on Ladies’ Night makes the staff look at me in surprise. Men are not allowed to enter until midnight, so the hostess takes me to the dressing room, through a secret route only she knows. I can’t say I feel all that comfortable being in one room with a bunch of half-naked hunks, but it’s a job someone has to do, and this time I’ve got the honours.

I had spoken with one of the strippers, known as Striker, earlier in the day. He’d agreed to

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This Week

Live Music

13-19 April 2012

Hotter Than Mustard

Allois (former Gorchitza, electro pop), Bazaar (Besarabska 2),

13 April at 20.00

Allois from Gorchitza is doing her own thing tonight, and from now on. As it turns out, this spicy little meatball has left the fabulous Ukrainian electronic-funk group, famous for Kiss Me Loneliness and other such super-charged Englishlanguage chants, and is going solo. Compared to Morcheeba, Moloko and Sophie Ellis-Bextor, her fiery voice is certainly one of the things that has made the mustard band so popular throughout Ukraine and all of Eastern Europe. It’s what’s going to make her just as popular on her own.

Admission is free. For more information call 238-2111.

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Bangladesh Orchestra (cover band) Time: 22.00 Admission: 50hrv Art Club 44 (Khreshchatyk 44b) 279-4137

MJ Project (cover band) Time: 22.00 Admission: 50hrv Art Club 44 (Khreshchatyk 44b) 279-4137

Soyuz 44 (cover band) Time: 22.00 Admission: free Art Club 44 (Khreshchatyk 44b) 279-4137

Angie Nears, Lucky Band (cover bands) Time: 21.00 Admission: call for details Bochka Khmilna (B Khmelnytskoho 3b) 390-6106

Carte Blanche (cover band) Time: 21.00 Admission: call for details Bochka Khmilna (B Khmelnytskoho 3b) 390-6106

Tex-Mex Co (cover band) Time: 22.00 Admission: free Docker’s ABC (KhreshchatykZankovetskoi 15/4) 278-1717

Lucky Band, Carte Blanche (cover bands) Time: 21.00 Admission: call for details Bochka Pyvna (Khreshchatyk 19a) 459-0551

Tres Deseos (cover band) Time: 21.00 Admission: call for details Bochka Pyvna (Khreshchatyk 19a) 459-0551

Motor’rolla, Red Rocks (pop-rock, cover band) Time: 22.00 Admission: 75hrv Docker’s ABC (KhreshchatykZankovetskoi 15/4) 278-1717

Mad Heads XL, Partyzanski Vytivky (rockabilly, cover band) Time: 22.00 Admission: 75hrv Docker’s ABC (KhreshchatykZankovetskoi 15/4) 278-1717

Friday

Mad Heads XL, UkrainSka, Partyzanski Vytivky (rockabilly, cover bands) Time: 22.00 Admission: 100hrv Docker Pub (Bohatyrska 25) 451-8528

Saturday

Motor’rolla, Carnival Heat (pop-rock, cover band) Time: 22.00 Admission: 75hrv Docker Pub (Bohatyrska 25) 451-8528

More Khuana (cover band) Time: 21.00 Admission: free Star Pub (Popudenka 1a) 292-2900

Riffs (cover band) Time: 21.00 Admission: free Star Pub (Popudenka 1a) 292-2900

My 100 (cover band) Time: 20.00 Admission: free Divan (Besarabska 2) 235-7366

Oriental, Sideburns Party (pop-rock) Time: 20.00 Admission: 30-50hrv Divan (Besarabska 2) 235-7366

Bender Band, Honey Top (cover bands) Time: 21.00 Admission: free Route 66 (Zhylyanska 87/30) 239-3865

Beefeaters (cover band) Time: 21.00 Admission: free Route 66 (Zhylyanska 87/30) 239-3865

Sunday

Night Block (cover band) Time: 21.30 Admission: free Docker Pub (Bohatyrska 25) 451-8528

Night Block (cover band) Time: 21.00 Admission: free Route 66 (Zhylyanska 87/30) 239-3865

Banderas Blues Band (blues rock) Time: 20.00 Admission: free Divan (Besarabska 2) 235-7366

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Tuesday M urenko Fusion Band (fusion) Time: 22.00 Admission: free Art Club 44 (Khreshchatyk 44b) 279-4137

Chill Out (cover band) Time: 21.30 Admission: free Docker Pub (Bohatyrska 25) 451-8528

More Khuana (cover band) Time: 22.00 Admission: 20hrv Docker’s ABC (KhreshchatykZankovetskoi 15/4) 278-1717

Sound Wave Pressure, The Jools, Karizza (cover bands) Time: 20.00 Admission: 40-50hrv Divan (Besarabska 2) 235-7366

Tres Deseos (cover band) Time: 21.30 Admission: free Docker Pub (Bohatyrska 25) 451-8528

Denys Bloshchynskiy & Nesprosta (cover band) Time: 20.00 Admission: free Route 66 (Zhylyanska 87/30) 239-3865

Guitar House Jam Session (jam) Time: 20.00 Admission: free Divan (Besarabska 2) 235-7366

Wednesday P hilip Kirkorov (pop) Time: 19.00 Admission: 150-1500hrv Palace Sport (Sportyvna Pl 1) 246-7406 D azzle Dreams (pop-rock) Time: 20.00 Admission: 100hrv Sullivan Room (Prorizna 8)  066-485-5555 Music Against Violence/ Stop the Traffic Party (cover bands) Time: 22.00 Admission: 30hrv Art Club 44 (Khreshchatyk 44b) 279-4137 Rocking Wolves (cover band) Time: 22.00 Admission: 30hrv Docker’s ABC (KhreshchatykZankovetskoi 15/4) 278-1717

he Animals, T The Magma (classic rock, cover band) Time: 21.30 Admission: call for details Docker Pub (Bohatyrska 25) 451-8528 Bang Point (jazz) Time: 20.00 Admission: free Divan (Besarabska 2) 235-7366 The Bells (cover band) Time: 21.00 Admission: free Route 66 (Zhylyanska 87/30) 239-3865

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Thursday J ulian Tomas & Friends (UK, vocal pop, jazz) Time: 22.00 Admission: call for details Art Club 44 (Khreshchatyk 44b) 279-4137

Beefeaters (cover band) Time: 21.00 Admission: call for details Bochka Pyvna (Khreshchatyk 19a) 459-0551 Bangladesh Orchestra (cover band) Time: 22.00 Admission: 30hrv Docker’s ABC (KhreshchatykZankovetskoi 15/4) 278-1717 Ruky v Bryuky (cover band) Time: 21.30 Admission: free Docker Pub (Bohatyrska 25) 451-8528 Alisa Band (cover band) Time: 21.00 Admission: free Star Pub (Popudenka 1a) 292-2900 Pirata Band (cover band) Time: 21.00 Admission: free Route 66 (Zhylyanska 87/30) 239-3865

Some Like it Hot (cover band) Time: 21.00 Admission: call for details Bochka Khmilna (B Khmelnytskoho 3b) 390-6106

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Monday Bloomband (jazz) Time: 22.00 Admission: free Art Club 44 (Khreshchatyk 44b) 279-4137 Some Like it Hot (cover band) Time: 22.00 Admission: free Docker’s ABC (KhreshchatykZankovetskoi 15/4) 278-1717

The First and the Last

Judas Priest (UK, heavy metal), Palace Sport (Sportyvna Pl 1)

16 April at 19.00

Judas Priest are saying farewell. And personally doing so in almost every country around Europe, their debut here to Ukraine will in fact be their finale. Most of the five musicians making the trek have been preaching since the very beginning, and do not come light-handed. Promising a two and a half hour show, it’s going to be full of special effects, lasers, smoke, fire, video installations and much more. They won a Grammy recently for Best Metal Performance in 2010 – this is that show. Don’t miss out!

Tickets are 350 – 800hrv. For more information call 246-7406. : What's On Recommended

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Nightlife

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13-19 April 2012

Bring On the Destruction

This Will Destroy You (American, post-rock), Xlib (Frunze 12)

13 April at 19.00

Formed back in 2005, these post-rockers have made soaring, soulful songs their own domain, in the process drawing favourable comparisons to Sigur Ros and Mogwai. From their first release, Young Mountain, up until last year’s Tunnel Blanket, they have been developing and refining their sound, adding many new fans in the process. Now is your turn to take them in, in all their epic glory, as they call in on Kyiv on their European tour. As Rock Sound said, “This is music that creates a vortex in your brain, sucking the entire cosmos in through one ear and out the other, leaving behind only the secrets of the universe and the unerring tranquillity of space. Yes. It really is that good.”

For admission or more information call 417-3233.

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Friday Best Disco Hits Time: 20.00 Admission: L-40hrv, G-60hrv Gallery Club (Peremohy Pr 47/2) 453-3727 R enegade Hardware Night Time: 23.00 Admission: 70hrv Xlib (Frunze 12) 417-3233 Disco Friday Time: 22.00 Admission: before 00.00 L-free, after L-30hrv, G-50hrv Prime (Nauki 8) 524-2209 Light Friday with DJ Under Beat Time: 22.00 Admission: before 00.00 G-free, after G-40hrv, L-free Aldo (Milyutenko 7) 536-6565 S ex, Drugs and Rock’n’Roll Time: 23.00 Admission: L-25hrv, G-50hrv Egoist (Horlovskaya 124/140) 223-36-33 Latin American Live Music and Disco Time: 22.00 Admission: L-100hrv, G-150hrv Caribbean Club (Kominternu 4) 288-1290 DJ Maniak and DJ Key with the Sky PJ Dolls Time 23.00 Admission: call for details Sky Bar (V Vasylkivska 5) 223-8888 Friday the 13th with MC Gerik Gorilla, DJ Stevie, DJ Boo-D and MC Himik Time: 22.00 Admission: L-free before 23.00, after 60hrv, G-60hrv Shokolad (Saksahanskoho 8) 822 98 88 Rave On with Alexander Galickiy Time: 22.00 Admission: before 00.00 free, after L-40hrv, G-50hrv Saxon (Trutenko 4) 257-4070

Play Girls with MC Dasha Dance, DJ DaCandy, DJ Miss Monique and DJ Saylex Time: 22.00 Admission: L-free, G-30 before 00.00, 50hrv after Bionica (Borshchahivska 128a) 232-7296 Hits Only Time: 20.00 Admission: L-free, G-50hrv Sakhar Party Bar (Dekabrystov 12/37) 563-9662 Knock Eggs with DJ Romantic, Burzhuy, Underhill and ID Crash Time: 22.00 Admission: before 00.00 L-20hrv, G-25hrv, after L-40hrv, G-50hrv Forsage (Harmatna 51a) 232-6780

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Saturday Another World with MCs, Garick Pledoff, Andrew Creek, Madison, DJ Blade and MC Gerik Gorilla Time: 18.00 Admission: 70hrv Arena (Baseina 2a) 492-00-00 Stop Post with DJ Andrey Lubimoff and MC Jack Bush Time: 22.00 Admission: L-free, G-free before 00.00, after 50hrv Bionica (Borshchahivska 128a) 232-7296

Disco Party Time: 22.00 Admission: L-free, G-call for details Aura (Vyshhorodskaya 28/1) 237-7023

Everyone at Easter with DJ Saylex, DJ Night, MC Ujeen and DJ Lady Time: 22.00 Admission: free before 00.00, after L-40hrv, G-50hrv Forsage (Harmatna 51a) 232-6780

Warm Up with Fiesta Time: 22.00 Admission: call for details Fiesta (Horkoho 115d) 462-1477

Best Disco Hits Time: 20.00 Admission: L-40hrv, G-60hrv Gallery Club (Peremohy Pr 47/2) 453-3727

Zdubbing up Nicely

Zdob si Zdub (Moldova, folk, rock) Sullivan Room (Prorizna 8)

19 April at 20.00

Legendary Zdob si Zdub, with their 2012 European tour supporting album Basta Mafia!, will be calling in on Kyiv very soon.

Beginning in the mid-90s, the band combines brutal hardcore and Moldovan folk music in elegant and experimental fashion.

Call them ethno-rockers, if you will, and while you are doing so, throw in a pinch of hip-hop, drum’n’bass, jungle and a sprinkling of punk. The band has performed across Europe, collaborating with various luminaries along the way, and taking time out from this, they’ve got some seriously cool videos under their belt. Check them out, and then check out the band at the end of this week.

Admission is 400hrv. For more information call 066-485-5555.

Battle Eggs with Euro Hit’s

by DJ Cluber MC Roma’N Time: 22.00 Admission: before 23.30 L-20hrv, G-25hrv, after L-40hrv, G-50hrv Saxon (Trutenko 4) 257-4070

E aster with DJ Rockstar and the Sky PJ Dolls Time 23.00 Admission: call for details Sky Bar (V Vasylkivska 5) 223-8888

Tasty with Las Wild, Fireworks and DJ Estetixx Time: 22.00 Admission: 40hrv Aldo (Milyutenko 7) 536-6565

Salsadromo and Discotheque Time: 21.00 Admission: L-40hrv, G-60hrv Caribbean Club (Kominternu 4) 288-1290

Gladiator’s Arena with DJ Serg, DJ Bodrov and MC Miss-T Time: 21.00 Admission: before 23.00-free, after L-50hrv, G-100hrv Shooters (Moskovska 22) 254-2024 MC Rybik with DJ Rockstar and the Sky PJ Dolls Time 23.00 Admission: call for details Sky Bar (V Vasylkivska 5) 223-8888 F ree Style with Miss Monique, David DJ, Dirus and MC Remoy Time: 22.00 Admission: free before 00.00, after L-10hrv, G-15hrv Prime (Nauki 8) 524-2209 Latin American Live Music Time: 20.00 Admission: L-100hrv, G-150hrv Caribbean Club (Kominternu 4) 2881290 Love and Ladies Time: 20.00 Admission: L-free, G-50hrv Sakhar Party Bar (Dekabrystov 12/37) 563-9662 Disco Party Time: 22.00 Admission: call for details Fiesta (Horkoho 115d) 462-1477

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Sunday RnB Boom with DJ Lady and DJ Cash Flow Time: 22.00 Admission: before 23.30 L-10hrv, G-15hrv, after L-20hrv, G-30hrv Forsage (Harmatna 51a) 232-6780 Party of Eggs with DJ Romantic, DJ Saylex and MC Anastasia Star Time: 22.00 Admission: before 00.00 L-free, G-30hrv, after L-30hrv, G-50hrv Bionica (Borshchahivska 128a) 232-7296

DJ Stona, DJ Twins and MC Jumper Time: 21.00 Admission: before 23.00, L-free, after L-50hrv, G-100hrv Shooters (Moskovska 22) 254-2024

Sexy Bunny with DJ AlexAmega, DJ VovaBlack’s and MC Jumper Time: 22.00 Admission: L-free, G-100hrv (only after 00.00) Shooters (Moskovska 22) 254-2024

B ack to India Part 4 with DJs Alfacentaurus, Reangil, Divex and Narayan Time: 22.00 Admission: 40hrv Crystal Hall (Dniprovskiy Spusk 1) 063-1111-217

Fun Evening Time: 20.00 Admission: L-free, G-50hrv Sakhar Party Bar (Dekabrystov 12/37) 563-9662 E aster Show with DJ Spartaque Time: 22.00 Admission: before 00.00 L-15hrv, G-20hrv, after L-30hrv, G-40hrv Saxon (Trutenko 4) 257-4070 Easter Party with JD Burzhuy, Neo, Arturo Ricci, Denny Smile and MC Remov Time: 22.00 Admission: before 00.00 L-20hrv, G-25hrv, after L-25hrv, G-30hrv Prime (Nauki 8) 524-2209

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Monday Zodiac Night Time: 21.00 Admission: free Shooters (Moskovska 22) 254-2024 Pivomania – DJ Size Time: 21.00 Admission: free Aura (Vyshhorodskaya 28/1) 237-7023 Salsadromo Time: 21.00 Admission: L-20hrv, G-50hrv Caribbean Club (Kominternu 4) 288-1290

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Tuesday Mojito Night Time: 22.00 Admission: free Shooters (Moskovska 22) 254-2024

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Wednesday Women’s Feast with DJ Twins, DJ Bodrov and MC Clubnichka Time: 21.00 Admission: before 00.00 L-free, after L-50hrv, G-100hrv Shooters (Moskovska 22) 254-2024 Audiomania Time: 19.00 Admission: L-free, G-30hrv Sakhar Party Bar (Dekabrystov 12/37) 563-9662 Disco 80s/90s Time: 20.00 Admission: 25hrv Gallery Club (Peremohy Pr 47/2) 453-3727 Dance Marathon Time: 21.00 Admission: free Aura (Vyshhorodskaya 28/1) 237-7023 Erotic Show and Amateur Striptease Time: 21.00 Admission: before 00.00 L-free, after L-50hrv, G-150hrv Caribbean Club (Kominternu 4) 288-1290

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Thursday Made in Ukraine – Cossacks Degrees Time: 21.00 Admission: L-free, G-free before 23.00, after 100hrv Shooters (Moskovska 22) 254-2024 Day of Sweet Emotions Time: 18.00 Admission: L-40hrv, G-60hrv Gallery Club (Peremohy Pr 47/2) 453-3727 Crazy 30 Time: 21.00 Admission: 30hrv Aura (Vyshhorodskaya 28/1) 237-7023 Disco 90s Time: 20.00 Admission: L-free, G-30hrv Sakhar Party Bar (Dekabrystov 12/37) 563-9662 Disco-Latino Time: 22.00 Admission: L-40hrv, G-60hrv Caribbean Club (Kominternu 4) 288-1290

Radio Days Time: 21.00 Admission: free Aura (Vyshhorodskaya 28/1) 237-7023 Disco-Latino Time: 22.00 Admission: L-40hrv, G-60hrv Caribbean Club (Kominternu 4) 288-1290

: What's On Recommended

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This Week

Art

13-19 April 2012

Orgasm

Exhibition of photographs by Dani Olivier (France), Foundart Gallery (Frolivska 1/6)

19 April – 2 May

The third exhibition from shocking French photographer Dani Olivier is about to open.

Not unlike many Frenchmen, Dani adores the beauty that is the female body and is not afraid to ask his models to show a little bit more then they would typically allow. The fact that they trust him so much is what makes his photos special. Check out the passion inherent in all of his work this next week.

For more information call 238-6521.

Shepherding a Tiger Exhibition of abstract paintings by Victor Deisun Until 22 April Mystetska Zbirka Gallery (Tereshchenkivska 13) 050-136-4737

Spring Exhibition of paintings by Iryna Kachkalda and Liliya Vagradyan Until 7 May Master Klass Gallery (Lavrska 16) 594-1063

A Forbidden City Art Project by Daria Skorubska Until 29 April Garna Gallery (Shovkovychna 5) 066-616-9170

Under the X-ray Exhibition of photographs by Nick Veasey Until 13 May Brucie Collections (Artema 55b) 205-4264

Dynamics. Kyiv Football Art Project Live Art Until 13 May National Art Museum of Ukraine (Hrushevskoho 6) 278-1357 A Living Figure Contemporary Art Project in course of French Spring Until 23 April YA Gallery (Khoryva 49b) 492-9203

Wine & Meat Exhibition of paintings by Vladislav Shereshevskiy Until 24 April Triptych-Art Gallery (Desyatynna 13) 279-0949

A Funny Dawn or Kyiv Humour Exhibition of antique cards from 1911 – 1913 Until 30 April Museum of Russian Art (Tereshenkivska 9) 287-7324

Family

More Please!

Movie Oliver, Master Klass Cultural Centre (Lavrska 16)

14 April at 11.00

Charles Dickens wrote a story back in 1838 that is still as real and wonderful today as it was back then. Renewed and refreshed throughout history, Oliver Twist has become a musical set for the stage by Lionel Bart.

While theatres here are reluctant to bring it back, Master Klass has no such hesitation. Here, the screen adaptation from 1968 will be played in its original language with pleasure!

Tickets are 30hrv. For more information call 594-1063.

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Puppet Theatre Hrushevskoho 1A (metro Maidan Nezalezhnosti) 278-5808

Circus Peremohy 2 (metro Vokzalna) 486-3927 www.circus.com.ua

Municipal Puppet Theatre Mytropolska 1 513-1500

Zoo Peremohy Pr. 32 241-7769 www.zoo.kiev.ua

Marionette Theatre Sahaidochnoho 29/3 (metro Poshtova Ploshcha) 417-3058 http://marionet.com.ua

Dyvosvit 4D cinema, children’s labyrinth, attractions Marshala Malinovskoho 24/10 502-0088 www.dyvosvit.ua

Butterfly Ultramarine Cinema, children’s playground, bowling, arcade Uritskoho 1A (metro Vokzalna) 206-0350 www.kino-butterfly.com.ua Kobzov Circus 239-2181 Prospekt Pobedy 82 www.circus-kobzov.com.ua Mystical-Aquarium Centre Koshytsa 8A (metro Poznyaky) 502-1796 www.aquariumfish.com.ua

Nemo Dolphinarium Akademika Glushkova 9 520-5550 www.nemokiev.com Kyiv Planetarium Chervonoarmiyska 57/3 287-7508 www.planet.org.ua/about.html Aquapark Terminal Aquapark, shopping and entertainment centre Kyivska 316 in the town of Brovary 200-1450 www.aquapark-terminal.com.ua

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Friday The Adventures of Tom Sawyer A boys’ tale in 2 acts for children 7+ Time: 12.00 Lypska Youth Theatre (Lypska 15/17) 253-6219

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Saturday F airytale about Tsar Saltan Opera in 2 acts Time: 12.00 Kyiv Theatre of Opera & Ballet for Children & Youth (Mezhyhirska 2) 425-3116 Yasnogorodskya Ostrich Farm Podlesnaya 32, Yasnohorodska (30km outside of Kyiv) 782-3240 www.ostrich.com.ua Hopak in Kyiv Hopak Training Centres 332-7747 or 067-933-3244 Visit http://hopak.kiev.ua/ua/ Nabeg Horseback Riding Centre Vishgorodska 85 067-712-3384 http://www.loshadi.kiev.ua/

You are Special Musical fairytale in 1 act for children 3+ Time: 11:00 & 13.00 Lypska Youth Theatre (Lypska 15/17) 253-6219 Ivasyk-Telesyk Puppet-play for children 3+ Time: 11.00 The Golden Chicken Puppet-play for children 3+ Time: 13.00 Little Red Riding Hood Puppet-play for children 4+ Time: 15.00 Cinderella Puppet-play in Russian for children 4+ Time: 17.00 Kyiv Puppet Theatre (Hrushevskoho 1a) 278-0566

Kyiv Horse Race Track Akademika Glushkova 10 266-2223 State Museum of Toys Klovskiy 8 253-5400 Interesniy Kiev Tours in and around Kyiv in English! 491-1176 or 068-121-4458 Visit www.interesniy.kiev.ua/new/ tour/english

The Little Prince Fairytale Time: 19.00 Plastic Drama Theatre (Shovkovychna 7a) 253-9383

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Tuesday The Prince & the Princess Fairytale in 2 acts for children 5+ Time: 11.00 Lypska Youth Theatre (Lypska 15/17) 253-6219 The Steadfast Tin Soldier Musical fairytale in 2 acts Time: 13.00 Kyiv Theatre of Opera & Ballet for Children & Youth (Mezhyhirska 2) 425-3116

Pyrohovo Open Air Museum Folk architecture and life Marshrutka #3/156 from metro Lybydska 526-5542 Mamaeva Sloboda Outdoor Cossack Museum Mykhayla Dontsya 2, Otradniy region 361-9848 www.mamajeva-sloboda.ua

Nivky Park Children’s playground, rifle ranges, walking paths, cafes Prospect Pobedy 82 Kurenevskiy Park Playgrounds, attractions, cafes Frunze 134 National Botanical Garden Open year round Timiryazevskaya 1

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Coming Soon

The Mother of Musicals

12 Musicals, October Palace (Instytutska 1)

30 May at 19.00

Guitar G-spot

G3 Europe 2012 (US/UK musicians, instrumental rock, fusion), Palace Ukraine (V Vasylkivska 103)

3 August at 19.00

For those who play the guitar, and even for those who still enjoy the rockin’ riffs of the 80s/90s, an incredible threesome will soon be gracing the Kyiv stage. G3, made up of Joe Satriani, Steve Morse and Steve Vai, have been travelling the world for years as a trio.

Making it to Kyiv this summer for the first time, the ladies love ‘em, and wish they would pay them as much attention as they do their guitars. Unfortunately, the boys are too busy shredding their strings to stick around in any one place for too long. Their sojourn in Ukraine? Just one night.

Tickets are 300 – 1500hrv. For more information call 247−2444.

Last Century Famous Status Quo (UK, rock), Palace Ukraine (V Vasylkivska 103)

16 June at 17.00

Status Quo, a legendary British band big in the 70s and 80s, are experiencing a rebirth. After a short pause in their 50-year history, Francis, Rick, Andy, John and Matt are back with a new album, called Quid Pro Quo. Released last year, this is their – believe it or not – 29th record, and they have spent much of the last year on tour promoting it. One of their stops is here in Kyiv. Make sure you get a ticket!

Tickets are 100 – 2500hrv. For more information call 247−2444.

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Musical lovers (and you know who you are) will be happy to learn that songs from the 12 best musicals of all time will be performed here in the city, and soon! A handful of Russian artists will be doing the deed, combining music, voice, choreography and even circus tricks to ensure you enjoy the experience as much as possible. There will be excerpts from Cats, Spartacus, Romeo and Juliet as well as Bombay Dreams and Mozart L Opera Rock. Wouldn’t It Be Lovely if you were there?

Tickets are 180 – 1800hrv. For more information call 279-1582, 278-7492.

Treasures of the Northern Capital

Tour to Chernihiv (transport departs from Lisova Metro Station)

8 May and 2 June from 08.00

The day spent in Chernihiv and nearby cities Kozelets and Sednev will one well spent. You will experience all the attractions of this northern area, the many churches and even a Cossack town! Replete with history and legend, don’t forget your camera, because every single stop on the tour deserves a photo. The last stop is at Svyatoy Kolodets (saint well), where the water is believed to have magical healing powers!

For tickets and more information call 590-5555.

A Blast of Bass

Bass Me with Matta (UK, electronic), Cinema (Entusiastiv 1)

20 April at 23.00

Bass Me returns with another biggie. This time it’s Matta, Andy Brooks and James Wilson from the UK, who in 2009 broke through into the dubstep world with their EP, The Vice. They featured on Radio 1 and released several hit tracks on some of the best-respected labels in the genre. 2010/11 saw further great strides with some killer remixes such as Black Lung, Bong-Ra, Afghan Headspin and their own record, The Lost. Then, their album Prototype was voted into many top ten lists for electronic albums. All of which adds up to one hot show – with support from Minikin, Hidden Element, Shrus, Buzzkeeper, I Wannabe and more.

Admission is 80hrv. For more information call 555-5854.

The Spring Sizzles

Ukrainian Pole Art Show-2012, Freedom Concert Hall (Frunze 134)

20 April at 19.00

Ukraine’s Pole Dance Championships have become a yearly event here in Kyiv, and showcased at Freedom Concert Hall, this evening will have few rivals!

Hard at work all year through, these girls are to be taken seriously, and are going to challenge all of those stereotypes you may have about this intense sport. If that weren’t enough, hits by the fabulous Loboda and Kozlovskiy only make this evening that much hotter.

Tickets are 50 – 1250hrv. For more information call 468-3232.

The Crystal Coming

Crystal Castles (Canada, electro), Crystal Hall (Dniprovskiy Spusk 1)

19 September at 20.00

Comprising Ethan Kath and Alice Glass, the two Crystal Castles originals met when Glass, then 15, was singing in a local punk band. Kath asked Glass to add vocals to some tracks he had been working on. They recorded them, uploaded them and forgot all about them. However, through the Internet, these songs found their audience, and offers from record labels started pouring in. Having gone on to release many EPs and two eponymous albums, in 2008 and 2010, their debut album even crashed into NME’s Top 100 Greatest Albums of the Decade, at a highly respectable #39. Calling in on Kyiv, at the aptly named Crystal Hall, go and see what got them there!

Tickets from 350hrv. For more information call 288-5069.

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Arsenale 2012

The Best of Times, The Worst of Times. Rebirth and Apocalypse in Contemporary Art, Mystetskiy Arsenal (Lavrska 10-12)

24 May – 31 July

Flamenco Pro Hits the Stage

An Evening of Flamenco and Spanish Music w/ Nelli Syupyur, House of Artist (Artema 1-5)

29 April at 18.00

This evening is all about the one woman who put Ukrainian flamenco on the international map.

Her solo concerts all over the country have inspired audiences to take up the many creative characteristics within this magically Spanish-flavoured world, and this evening will be no different. Flamenco, Spanish and even a few Mexican tunes will get you swaying in your seat, as the legend herself, Miss Nelli Syupyur, takes to the stage.

Tickets are 50 – 140hrv. For more information call 212-0547.

Take the Plunge, For a Second Time Sensation (international DJs, house, electronic), International Expo Centre (Brovarsky Pr 15)

5 May at 20.00

What can one call Sensation? A party? An understatement. A happening? Again, the word doesn’t quite capture the scale of this undertaking. Sensation is an event – an event like no other. Boasting a top-rated raft of DJ talent, truly extraordinary sets and lighting, and what is guaranteed to be a terrific overall atmosphere, any Kyiv dance-mad clubber would be out of his/her mind to miss this blockbuster for its second annual appearance. The lineup this year includes the fabulous Mr White (US), Kirill Doomski & Sonya (UA), Steve Lawler (UK), Axwell (Sweden), Sebastien Leger (France) and Daniel Sanchez & Juan Sanchez (Netherlands).

Tickets 699 – 1399hrv. For more information visit www.sensation.com

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Taking only the best features from the world famous Venice Biennale, Mystetskiy Arsenal is producing the first ever Biennale Ukraine to be held later this spring. The long name given to the art fair aims at highlighting the long history of Ukrainian art, which has risen out of the ashes from its fair share of misery and decay. Divided into four parts, The Restless Spirit draws inspiration from myths and legends, In the Name of Order investigates the rationalism behind the power that dominates our culture, Flesh analyses the human body along with its desires, and finally The Unquiet Dream focuses on nightmares and ineluctable twists of faith. Arsenale has just recently posted the entire list of participants. Check them out at www.arsenale2012.com/ participants/?lang=eng For more information call 288-5225.

A Charismatic Ukrainian

Opening Old Doors Ray Manzarek & Robby Krieger (US, ex-The Doors), Stereo Plaza (Kikvidze 17)

29 June at 19.00

Is there life after Morrison? The Doors keyboardist Ray Manzarek and guitarist Robby Krieger seem to think so. Coming to Kyiv this summer to try and resurrect

a legend, this will be a tribute the likes of which you’ve never seen before and probably never will again. Hits Light My Fire, Riders on the Storm, The End and many, many more will be played tonight by original members. It’s going to be an incredible event.

Tickets are 350 – 2000hrv. For more information call 222-8040.

Ivan Dorn (pop), Crystal Hall (Dniprovskiy Spusk 1)

25 May at 20.00

The charismatic and captivating personality that is Ivan Dorn became his calling card the minute he left Para Normalnykh to start a solo career. Fans here in Ukraine adore him, but he’s also got a whole slew of admirers in Russia, where he has been busy these last couple of months with concerts.

As winner of the Star+Star reality TV show, the Zvukova Dorozhka Award and the Breakthrough 2012 Award from Soho Rooms in Moscow, he’s received a lot of publicity. But that’s not why he’s so sought after. He’s a star, quite simply. Check him out tonight.

Tickets are 250 – 850hrv. For more information call 538-0100.

Grace and Beauty Swan Lake with the Bolshoi Ballet (Russia), National Opera Theatre of Ukraine (Volodymyrska 50)

22 April at 12.00 & 19.00

It is near impossible to find someone who hasn’t seen or heard of Swan Lake. It is, after all, one of the most famous ballets of all time. A fresh new version has been choreographed, however, and on its way to the capital, it’s going to make you forget about all of your previous misconceptions towards the arts. On a journey to the world of grace and beauty, soloists from Moscow’s Bolshoi and our own Kyiv Youth Ballet aren’t going to let you go easily.

Tickets are 60 – 300hrv. For more information call 279-1169.

Snow

Exhibition of paintings by Ruslan Mirzoev, Zeh Gallery (Frunze 69)

27 April – 19 May

Capturing images from the last cold season, Ruslan Mirzoev would like to remind the city of the beauty to be found in winter.

Snow is very much akin to the clean canvas from which an artist begins his work. Covering dirtencrusted roads and transformed into roly-poly sculptures of men with carrot noses, this soft covering is nothing more than “white colour” that has allowed him to freeze an unforgettable moment.

For more information call 591-1369.

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Kyiv Life Philippe Joannier of Ukrsibbank BNP Paribas Group and Bernard Petrault French Embassy Economic Advisor caught on camera

Viktoria McNeil, Hyatt GM Gordon Campbell and Stuart McKenzie taking in the action from the 8th floor

Lena Povalyukhina and Martin Pfiester enjoying the view from Bar on 8

Ambassador of France HE Alain Remy talks to gallerist Pavlo Gudimov

The view from far and away

Photographers: Artem Mironenko and Kostyantyn Hryshyn

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General Secretary of the French Institute in Ukraine Bozena Porcher and French Embassy Cultural Advisor Anne Durufle

Fire it up!

Clanging the Bells

HYATT & SOPHIIVSKA PLOSCHA Organised by the capital’s Institute Francaise, the annual French Spring in Kyiv opened not with a bang but a bell on 4 April as the French acrobatic circus, Transe Express, took to the square. With traffic at a standstill due to the crowds, spectators left their cars on the street and made their way to Sophiivska Ploscha to secure a good spot. Friends of the Alliance were invited to a glass of champagne before the event, while a private party, held on the balcony of Bar on 8 of the Hyatt, gave those an even better view.

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Ambassador of Japan Sakata Toichi together with wife

A crazy bell-ringer and his proteges!

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Robert Kulewicz of Winner Imports watching the show with his son

Vlada Vlasenko with Yana Babkina having a great time

Pre-Easter Fun

Let the Easter egg hunt begin!

Reliving the Magic

LYON WINE BAR In the haze following the most successful Kyiv Lions’ Burns Night ever, a few attendees and sponsors were invited to Kyiv’s newest wine bar on 5 April to chat about the event and see some of the photos taken from the evening.

The hosts laid on a nice Italian Prosecco to toast the fact that the Kyiv Lions Club raised $120,000 from the event! Well done!

MATRESHKA RESTAURANT A week before Ukrainian Easter, on 7 April, ACC held a family event for their members. Hoping to keep the kids entertained, the Chamber more than succeeded, creating the perfect Easter afternoon for every child there.

The highlight of the event was, of course, the traditional egg hunt so popular in Western countries, but totally new and intriguing for all Ukrainian kids.

Klaus Mueller of Prominvest Bank with his family

Dr Richard Styles and his lovely wife stop for a pic

Everyone got a disk of photos to remember the night!

Rufat Babayev and Julie Downes smiling and sipping Prosecco

Beauties Gozde Eren, Oli Holmes and the new Lyon Bar’s Christina Xinias

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Kyiv Life BUCC Checks Out the City’s Newest Hotel

FAIRMONT HOTEL KYIV Inviting its members out for the first public presentation of the city’s newest five-star hotel, 28 March was a date many had marked in their calendars for days leading up to the event. A short tour was scheduled, where, among other areas, the luxurious Atrium and beautiful Ballroom were both included.

Later, General Manager Mr Christoph Ganster addressed the group, explaining why he thinks his is the best hotel in the city. It certainly was a grand opening!

Fairmont Hotel General Manager Christoph Ganster and BUCC Chairman Bate Toms pause for a pic

Marcus Evans Sasha Maksimovich and Geoff Hargreave of DTZ enjoying the posh surroundings Anna Akisheva of Rus Accord Hotel and Maksym Kolodiy of B.C. Toms & Co

Oleksiy Martsenyuk of EastOne and Vasyl Dutchak of Credit Suisse with a charming friend in tow

Connecting Ukraine to the Global Medical Network

UKRAINIAN CHILDREN’S CARDIAC CENTRE As one of their final projects, leaving a lasting and potentially life-saving imprint on the lives of those here in Ukraine, CCRDF held a two-day conference for 11 partner hospitals.

The project is telemedicine and having recently received and installed all necessary equipment, hospitals in Chernihiv, Chernivtsi, Donetsk, Lutsk, Lviv, Kherson, Kyiv, Poltava, Rivne and Volodymyrets are now connected to a global medical network. Over 5 and 6 April, experts from the US and Ukraine held lectures and led practical training at Kyiv City Children’s Hospital #2.

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Doctors from Poltava, Donetsk and Rivne

CCRDF’s Country Director Alexa Milanytch and Outreach Director at the Centre for Distance Health, University of Arkansas for Medical Sciences Michael Manley

Dale C Alverson, MD, Professor Emeritus of Pediatrics and Medical Director, Centre for Telehealth and Cybermedicine Research, University of New Mexico advises thoracic surgeon Dr Roman Kovalsky from Lviv Regional Children’s Clinical Hospital

Doctors from the Chernivtsi Children’s Clinical Hospital discuss the application of telemedicine in their centre

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Head of ArtHouse Traffic Denys Ivanov and Spanish Embassy Cultural Attaché Oriol Escalas Noyan in conversation

Maryna Shukh and Deputy Director of the National Oleksandr Dovzhenko Centre Denys Kozlenko

Something Fresh from Spain

KYIV CINEMA In cooperation with the Spanish Embassy here in Kyiv, ArtHouse Traffic brought the best in Spanish cinema to the capital last week, all in the course of their Line of Spanish Cinema Festival. This year, four films made it to Ukraine, where on 22 March, guests eagerly awaited the opening film, an animated musical, called Chico&Rita, directed

by Javier Mariscal and Fernando Trueba.

Ambassador of Spain HE Jose Rodriguez Moyano taking in the premiere

Austrian Forum Maryana Bondarenko (centre) shares her thoughts about the festival with the camera

A Guiding Light

Course participants Viktoria and Anna looking intrigued Svitlyachock’s President Pedro Anderson with wife Larisa Enikeeva and their little Viktor

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INTERCONTINENTAL While everyone else was playing pranks on 1 April, the Svitlyachok (Firefly) Charity Organisation put their heads together to get some serious stuff accomplished. That they did, with the launch of a brand new charitable programme for orphans. With support from the InterContinental Kyiv, organisers introduced participants to a 3-month course of language practice and education in the hospitality sphere. Here’s hoping these kids have an easier go it upon leaving the only homes they’ve ever known.

Andriy, Eric and Mykhailo listening carefully

InterContinental’s Karen McPhee with Svitlyachok’s Rimma Tertitskaya, Maria Mirolyubova and David Tapia

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Take Me Out

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Kyiv Telephone code is +380 44

RESTAURANTS Al Faro V Vasylkivska 49a 503-5091 Hours: 10.00 – 23.30 Italian cuisine Ani V Vasylkivska 72 590-2565 Hours: 11.00 – 23.00 Caucasian cuisine Antwerpen Pushkinska 38 234-1300 Hours: 12.00 – 23.00 European cuisine Arena Entertainment Baseina 2a 492-0000 Hours: 9.00 until the last guest European cuisine Arizona BBQ Naberezhno Khreshchatytska 25 425-2438 Hours: 08.00 – 24.00 American cuisine Bacchus Class Chapaeva 2/16 234-6506 Hours: 09.00 – until the last guest Wine Bar Bar on 8 (Hyatt Regency) Alla Tarasova 5 581-1234 Hours: 11:00 – 02:00 Cocktail Bar/Fusion Barsuk Kutuzova 3a 050-386-3629 Hours: 08.00 – 23.00 European/local cuisine Bazaar Brasserie Bessarabska Pl 2 238-2111 Hours: 10.00 – 23.00 European cuisine Beef Meat & Wine Shota Rustaveli 11 225-0035 Hours: 12.00 – 24.00 Fusion Belle Vue Saksahanskoho 7 289-8780 Hours: Sun-Thurs 11.00 – 23.00, Fri-Sat 11.00 – 02.00 Belgian/European cuisine Belvedere Dniprovskiy Uzviz 288-5070 Hours: 12.00 – until the last guest European/Japanese cuisine b-hush InterContinental Kyiv V Zhytomyrska 2a 219-1919 Hours: Sun-Wed18.00 – 02.00, Thurs-Sat18.00 – 04.00 Cocktail Bar/Fusion Boutique (Riviera on Podol) Sahaydachnoho St 15 581-2898 Hours: 24 hours European/Ukrainian cuisine

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Brasserie (Cosmopolite Hotel) Hetmana Vadima 6 205-3520 Hours: 10.00 – 23.00 French cuisine Brunello Bar (Hyatt Regency) Alla Tarasova 5 581-1234 Hours: 19.00 – 04.00 Wine Bar Buddha Bar Khreshchatyk 14 270-7676 Hours: Sun-Wed 13.00 – 02.00, Thurs-Sat 13.00 – 04.00 Asian/Fusion Byblos Artema 20 288-1888 Hours: 12.00 – until the last client Fusion Café de Paris Andriivskiy Uzviz 34b 221-2218 Hours: 24 hours French cuisine Carpaccio Café Sofievska 14 278-1612 Hours: various European cuisine Celentano www.pizza-celentano.com for locations Hours: various Pizza/Italian cuisine Cimes Sahaidachnoho 10/5 428-7579 Hours: 11.00 – 23.00 Kosher cuisine Cipollino Hrushevskoho 1a 279-9191 Hours: 11.00 – 23.30 Children/Italian cuisine Ciro’s Pomodoro Shota Rustaveli 12 221-4545 Hours: 12.00 – 02.00 Italian cuisine Citronelle Khmelnytskoho 23 499-3936 Hours: 08.30 – 23.00 French cuisine Comme il Faut V Zhytomyrska 2a 219-1919 Hours: 11.00 – 02.00 French cuisine Concord Pushkinska 42/4 234-7788 Hours: 12.00 – 24.00 Fusion Cosmopolite Hetmana Vadima 6 www.cosmopolite-kiev.com 205-3520 Hours: 11.00 – 01.00 Private brewery Crep De Chine Hoholivska 25 537-7070 Hours: 08.00 – 23.00 French cuisine Da Vinci Fish Club Volodymyrska 12 490-3434 Hours: 11.00 – 24.00 Mediterranean cuisine

Deja Vue B Khmelnytskoho 30 235-9802 Hours: 12.00 – 02.00 International cuisine Device Café Pobedy Pr 136 277-1555 Hours: 12.00 – until the last guest French/Ukrainian cuisine Fellini Horodetskoho St 5 279-5462 Open: 24 hours French/Italian cuisine Fiesta Horkoho 115d 353-7685 Hours: 11.00 until the last guest Latino cuisine Fiji Bar (via Corsair) Sahaidachnoho 14-v 425-5578 Hours: 24 hours Cocktail Bar Fortetsya Gongadze 21 463-5130 Hours: 24 hours European/Ukrainian cuisine Foodtourist V Vasylkivska 5 095-780-6070 Hours: 08.00 – until the last client Gastro-bar Golden Gate Irish Pub Zolotovorotskaya 15 235-5188 Hours: 11.00 – 01.00 Pub/restaurant Goodman Steakhouse Zhulianska 75 596-0000 Hours: 12.00 – 00.00 American steakhouse Grill Asia (Hyatt Regency) Alla Tarasova 5 581-1234 Hours: 6:00 - 24:00 European/Asian cuisine Han Gang (Slavutich Hotel) Entuziastiv 1 294-1414 Hours: 11.00 – 00.00 Korean cuisine Himalaya Khreshchatyk 23 270-5437 Hours: 11.30 – 23.30 Indian cuisine Hinkali Shota Rustaveli 4 234-0692 Hours: 24 hours Caucasian cuisine Hunter Saksahanskoho 147/5 236-3735 Hours: 12.00 – 24.00 International cuisine Icon Bar Basseina 5a 234-6996 Hours: Wed 18.00 – 01.00, Thurs-Sat 18.00 – 06.00 European cuisine

Ikra Honchara 67 067-300-8871 Hours: 11.00 – 24.00 Japanese/ Mediterranean cuisine

Lale Sofiivska 14 278-7566 Hours: 12.00 until the last guest Turkish cuisine

Il Molino Moskovskaya 17 280-7722 Hours: 11.00 – 23.00 Pizza/Italian cuisine

La Paella Donetska 10 223-7242 Hours: 11.00 – 23.00 Spanish cuisine

Il Patio Ihorivska 13/5 501-7464 Hours: 11.00 – 23.00 Italian cuisine

Le Cosmopolite Volodymyrska 47 278-7278 Hours: Sun-Thurs 10.00 – 23.00, Fri-Sun 10.00 – 02.00 Belgian/European cuisine

Karavan Klovskiy Uzviz 10 280-9577 Hours: 12.00 – 24.00 Uzbek cuisine Kazbek L Ukrainka Blvd 30a 285-4805 Hours: 11.00 – 24.00 Caucasian cuisine Krendel Pavlovska 17 585-9897 Hours: Mon-Fri 09.00 – 22.00.

Sat-Sun 10.00 – 22.00 Russian cuisine Kupetcheskiy Dvor 24km down Stolychne highway 067-246-6246 Hours: 11.00 until the last guest Russian cuisine Kuvshyn Fedorova 10 592-6363 Hours: 12.00 – 24.00 Caucasian cuisine La Bodeguita del Medio Yaroslaviv Val 20/21 272-6500 Hours: Mon-Wed 12.00 – 00.00, Thurs-Sat 13.00 – 00.00, Sun 16.00 – 03.00 Cuban cuisine

Limoncello Moskovska 22  254-2024 Hours: 24 hours Fusion Lipsky Osobnyak Lypska 15 254-0090 Hours: 11.30 – 01.00 Ukrainian cuisine Lucky Pub V Vasylkivska 13 499-1313 Hours: 11.00 – 01.00 Pub/restaurant Lun Van Khmelnytskoho 26 279-8191 Hours: 11.00 – 02.00 Chinese cuisine Lyudi Casual Food V Vasylkivska 5 067-322-7575 Hours: Sun-Wed 12.00 – 03.00, Thurs-Sat 12.00 – 06.00 Italian/European cuisine Mai Tai V Vasylkivska 66 583-5553 Hours: 12.00 – 06.00 European/Asian cuisine

La Cantina Yaroslaviv Val 20 234-7074 Hours: 11.00 – 00.00 Italian cuisine

Mambo Druzhby Narodiv 5 522-8224 Hours: 12.00 – 02.00 Latin cuisine

L’Accente Lesi Ukrainka 5 200-5002 Open: 10.00 – 24.00 Mediterranean cuisine

Mantra V Vasylkivska 5 221-4448 Hours: 11.00 – 24.00 Asian/Fusion

Marmaris Hlybotchytska 40 586-4233 Hours: 10.00 – 02.00 Turkish cuisine

Nirvana Lounge L Ukrainky 28b 285-5215 Hours: 12.00 – 02.00 Indian cuisine

Marocana L Ukrainka 24 254-4999 Hours: 09.00 – 02.00 Fusion

Nobu Shota Rustaveli 12 246-7734 Hours: 11.00 – 24.00 Asian, Japanese cuisine

Marrakesh Sahaidachnoho 24 494-0494 Hours: Sun-Thurs 12.00 – 01.00, Fri-Sat 12.00 – 14.00 Moroccan/French/ Japanese cuisine Mayachok Lutneva 58a 585-3941 Hours: 12.00 – 00.00 European cuisine Meat & Fish Pylypa Orlyka 6 253-8097 Hours: 08.00 – 23.00 French cuisine Mille Miglia (Radisson Blu Hotel) Yaroslaviv Val 22 492-2255 Hours: 12.00 – 23.00 Italian cuisine Mimino Spaska 10a 417-3545 Hours: 11.00 – 00.00 Georgian cuisine Monaco V Zhytomyrska 20a 590-0151 Hours: 12.00 – 06.00 Mediterranean cuisine Murakami www.murakami.ua for locations 230-8888 Hours: Sun-Thurs 09.00 – 23.00, Fri-Sat 09.00 – 02.00 Japanese cuisine/Sushi Myka Khreshchatyk 46a 227-8943 Hours: 12.00 – 24.00 International cuisine New York Bagel Café Shota Rustaveli 15 235-9437 Hours: Mon-Fri 09.00 – 21.00, Sat-Sun 10.00 – 23.00 Café-style

Non-Stop Peremohy Pr 6 236-0501 Hours: 24 hours International cuisine Olivera V Zhytomyrska 2a 219-1919 Hours: 06.30 – 23.00 Mediterranean cuisine O’Brien’s Irish Pub Mykhailivska 17a 279-1584 Hours: 08.00 – 02.00 Pub/restaurant O’Connor’s Horiva 15/8 425-7788 Hours: 11.00 – 02.00 Pub/restaurant Ok Bar V Vasylkivska 94 225-0220 Hours: Sun-Thurs 08.00 – 00.00, Fri-Sat 08.00 – 02.00 European/Asian cuisine Oliva www.oliva.com.ua for locations 234-5592 Hours: various Italian cuisine Oopen (Ibis Hotel) Shevchenko Blvd 25 591-2222 Hours: 06.30 – 23.00 International cuisine O’Panas Tereschenkivskaya 10 585-05-23 Hours: 10.00 until the last guest Ukrainian cuisine Osteria Pantagruel Lysenka 1 278-8142 Hours: Mon-Fri 08.00 – 23.00, Sat-Sun 11.00 – 23.00 Italian cuisine

10.04.2012 18:40:42

31

Pelmennytsa V Vasylkivska 56 287-1073 Hours: 24 hours Russian cuisine Pena Yaroslaviv Val St 30/18 234-1701 Hours: 12.00 – 24.00 Japanese/ Mediterranean cuisine Pizzeria Napulè Mechnykova 9 495-9263 Hours: 12.00 – 23.00 Pizza/Italian cuisine Porta Pia T Shevchenka 36a 235-7205 Hours: Sun-Thurs 11.00 – 24.00, Fri-Sat 11.00 – 01.00 Italian cuisine

Repriza www.repriza.com for various locations 502-2346 Hours: various Café-style

Shokolad Shota Rustaveli 39-41 289-0194 Hours: 09.00 until the last guest European cuisine

Safe V Vasylkivska 23a 536-0157 Hours: 11.00 – 0 6.00 European/Japanese cuisine

Shynok L Ukrainki 28v 285-5777 Hours: 12.00 – 00.00 Ukrainian cuisine

Shaffron Vorovskoho 3 969-1010 Hours: Sun-Wed 12.00 – 00.00, Thurs-Sat 12.00 – 05.00 Asian cuisine Sam’s Steak House Zhulianska 37 287-2000 Hours: 11.00 – 00.00 American steakhouse

Skatert Samobranka Bohatyrska St 26 592-0020 Hours: 24 hours European cuisine Sky-art Café Baseina 1/3-2 561-7841 Hours: Tues-Sun 12.00 – until the last guest Vegetarian cuisine

Porto V Vasylkivska 72 206-8387 Hours: 12.00 – 24.00 Mediterranean cuisine

San Tori Sahaidachnoho 41 462-4994 Hours: 11.00 – 01.00 Thai/Japanese cuisine

Soho Artema 82 484-0351 Hours: 11.00 – 00.00 American steakhouse and seafood

Praga Akademika Hlushkova 1 526-9990 Hours: 12.00 – 00.00 European/Japanese

Serebro Mechnikova 3 096-303-0000 Hours: 24 hours Ukrainian/European/ Asian cuisine

Stare Zaporizhzhia Sahaydachnoho 27 425-5161 Hours: 11.00 – 24.00 European/Ukrainian cuisine

Razgulyaeva Stolichnoe Schosse 70 259-1700 Hours: 11.00 – until the last guest Entertainment complex

Shangrila Yaroslavska 5/2 417-8119 Hours: 11.00 – 02.00 Uzbek/Japanese cuisine

Stefanos Fine Food Factory Volodymyrska 4 279-1121 Hours: 11.00 – 24.00 Italian cuisine

13.indb 31

Sushiya www.sushiya.ua for locations 225-5555 Hours: various Japanese/Thai cuisine Tampopo Saksahanskoho 55 289-2999 Hours: Mon-Fri 10.00 – 24.00, Sat-Sun 11.00 – 24.00 Japanese cuisine Tarantino Sahaidachnoho 35 463-7390 Hours: Sun-Wed 12.00 – 24.00, Thurs-Sat 12.00 – 06.00 Italian/European/ Japanese cuisine Teatro (Opera Hotel) B Khmelnytskoho 53 581-7070 Hours: 06.30 – 23.00 Mediterranean cuisine Tequila House Spasskaya 8a 417-0358 Hours: 12.00 – 23.00 Mexican cuisine Terrace B Vozdvyzhenska St 60a 531-9933 Hours: 12.00 – 24.00 European cuisine

Terracotta Pushkinska 5-7/29 537-4535 Hours: 07.00 – 23.00 Mediterranean cuisine

Under Wonder V Vasylkivska 21 234-2181 Hours: 24 hours Italian/French cuisine

TGI Friday’s Besarabska Pl 5a 235-4264 Hours: 12.00 – 24.00 American cuisine

Va Bene Khmelnytskoho 19-21 377-7565 Hours: Mon-Fri 08.30 – until the last guest, Sat-Sun 10.00 – until last guest Italian cuisine

Tike Sahaidachnoho 31 417-4062 Hours: 11.00 – 23.00 Turkish cuisine Touch Cafe Shota Rustaveli 16 206-4920 Hours: 12.00 – until the last guest European/Thai/ Japanese cuisine Trattoria Gustosa I Mazepa 5 288-8828 Hours: Mon-Fri 08.00 – 23.00, Sat-Sun 10.00 – 23.00 Italian cuisine Tsarske Selo I Mazepa 42/1 280-3066 Hours: 11.00 – 01.00 Ukrainian cuisine Tubiteyka Tarasivska St 29/50 287-0242 Hours: 8.00 – 23.00 Asian cuisine

Varenichnaya #1 Esplanadna 28 287-1539 Hours: 24 hours Ukrainian cuisine Vernissage Andriivskiy Uzviz 30 425-2403 Hours: 11:00 – 23:00 Artema 10 272-2003 Hours: Mon-Fri 08.00 – 22.00, Sat-Sun 11.00 – 22.00 French cuisine

Wagon V Vasylkivska 52 287-0490 Hour: 12.00 until the last guest Creative cuisine Wineport O Honchara 67 501-1695 Hours: 11:00 - 23:00 Italian cuisine Yakitoriya www.yakitoria.com.ua for locations 237-5577 Hours: various Japanese/Thai cuisine 7 Fridays City Café Khmelnytskoho 29 278-1187 Hours: 12.00 – until the last guest Café-style

Viola’s Bierstube Shevchenko Blvd 1a 235-3751 Hours: 11.00 – 06.00 Pub/restaurant Volkonsky Bakery www.wolkonsky.com for locations 244-1360 Hours: various Café-style

For information on how to list your restaurant here, please call 459-0553.

10.04.2012 18:40:45

Essential Kyiv

32

Boryspil International Airport Kyiv-Boryspil highway (23km) 281-7122 www.airport-borispol. kiev.ua Kyiv-Zhulyany International Airport Povitroflotsky 92 242-2309 www.airport.kiev.ua Central Bus Station Moskovska 3 525-5774 Central Train Station Vokzalna 1 465-2111

AIRLINES

Book Shops

Air France-KLM Ivana Franka 34/33 490-2490, 496-3575 www.airfrance.ua www.klm.ua

Albion books Ukraina Shopping Mall, (Peremohy Pl 3, 3rd floor) Globus Shopping Complex (Instytutska 2, 3rd line, 2nd floor) 221-0044 www.albion-books.com

Austrian Airlines V Vasylkivska 9/2 8-800-300-0492 www.austrian.com Delta Air Lines SIA ContinAt (General Sales Agent) V Vasylkivska 9/2, #17 287-3595 www.delta.com Lufthansa Khmelnytskoho 52 490-3800 www.lufthansa.com Ukraine International Airlines Lysenka 4 581-5050 www.flyUIA.com

Apartment rentals Kyiv Ukraine Apartments M Zhytomyrska 15 229-3079

CAR RENTALS Avis Yamska 72 502-2010 Budget Ivana Lepse 4 490-1088

Charities Kyiv Lions Club 050-334-5410 www.kyivlionsclub.org International Women’s Club of Kyiv 234-3180 www.iwck.org

CULTURAL CENTRES

HOSPITALS/ CLINICS

British Council Skovorody 4/12 490-5600

American Medical Centres Berdychivska 1 490-7600

Centre of Spanish Language and Culture Obolonska 7 239-2418 www.spanish.com.ua

AIDS Testing (anonymous) 278-7385

French Cultural Centre Honchara 48 482-0672

HOSTELS

Goethe Institute Volovska 12/4 496-9785 Italian Culture Institute Yaroslaviv Val 32b 270-6223 Polish Institute Khmelnytskoho 29/2 490-9900

Chillout Hostel Kyiv Horkoho 22b/35 093-332-4306 D’Lux Kyiv Hostel Observatorna 10 097-832-8888 Dream Hostel V Vasylkivska 47 066-244-1447

Ukraine-Japan Centre Peremohy Pr 37 406-8166

Consulting

HOTELS

TAXIS

Cosmopolite Hetmana 6 205-3520

Express Taxi 239-1515

Hyatt Regency Kyiv Alla Tarasova 5 581-12-34 www.kyiv.regency.hyatt.com Ibis Shevchenko Blvd 25 591-2222 InterContinental V Zhytomyrska 2a 219-1919 www.intercontinentalkiev.com Opera B Khmelnytskoho 53 581-70-70 www.opera-hotel.com Premier Palace T Shevchenko Blvd 5-7/29 537-45-00 www.premier-palace.com

Limousine Taxi 502-0808 Radio Taxi 246-1036

Emergency Fire 101 Police 102 First Aid/ Ambulance 103 Natural Gas Emergency 104 Water/Electric/ Sewage Emergency 1557 Elevator Emergency 1586

What’s What

Kyiv Telephone code is +380 44

AIRPORT/BUS/ TRAIN STATIONS

Radisson BLU Yaroslaviv Val 22 492-2200 www.radissonblu.com/ hotel-kiev Riviera on Podil Sahaidachnoho 15 581-2828

Euro Consult Group 067-565-7923 www.euro-consultgroup.com.ua

What’s Wrong Tweets

For information on how to list your company here, please call 459-0553.

13.indb 32

10.04.2012 18:40:52

33

Graham Phillips

13.indb 33

ride in which a chap had precariously placed a stuffed bag of oranges. The metro shuddered, the bag spilled its considerable contents and a cascade of oranges ran down the metro aisle. Passengers were standing, clutching the overhead railings, as an orange sea engulfed their ankles. Then, they snapped out of it and started picking up the fruit, forming a ‘bucket line’ until the bag was replenished with its former contents.

I got out at Khreshchatyk, still rather surprised at what had just happened, and went up the stairs to switch over to the Maidan metro line. There was a huge bottleneck headed for the escalator.

Circumventing that to walk down the stationary escalator, I saw the cause. An old man was trapped in a way I still can’t quite fathom. The escalator was moving, yet he was staying in the same position, seemingly clutching the moving handrail and running the other way, looking terrified. He was like a computer game character, trapped in perpetual motion when your computer crashes. Getting out at Lybidska metro station, I was walking under the underpass, still pondering, when a banana hit me in my leg.

It had been dropped (although it did feel more like it was thrown), from one of the concessions lining the underpass. As I picked up the fruit to hand back, I remembered why I’m in Ukraine. I’m here because you just never know what’s going to happen next!

What’s been on your minds this week? Well, the weather of course, with several shades of seasonal sentiment making it through to Tweets of the Week...

Marika Barisheva ‫@‏‬Zlajamasha Hello Earth! In Kiev, now the sun is shining in the sky floating gray clouds) have a nice day! Анатолий Токарев ‫@ ‏‬migorg Snow in April: Yesterday in Kiev was a snow. Now sun shines in the blue sky, +15. It`s very interesting =) pic.twitter.com/2EEXrdfW Мандрівник ‫@ ‏‬ua_traveler Seems that spring finally came to Ukraine :) The sun is shining :) ErinJoy ‫@ ‏‬ejtotheworld it’s a beautiful day! the sun is shining! the snow is falling! just another day in Ukraine :) Mike Lee ‫@ ‏‬AgronomyUkraine #Ukraine Jeez, what a day...sun, rain, snow, lots of snow, sun, snow gone, rain, sun...cold. Four seasons in one day.

Hi Graham, I’m an attractive young lady who has recently moved to Kyiv. I’m a bit concerned, as it’s already been a couple of weeks and I haven’t yet had carnal relations with Kellen Derry. Having asked around my friends, I seem to be the only one in this position. What’s the problem – am I not attractive enough?

I’ve always rated myself as a solid 8 out of 10. Has Kellen left town? What’s going on? Please, Graham, help me out here!

Best, Svetlana, Hi Svetlana, Due to a recent high volume of lady-traffic, Kellen has been extremely busy. However, be assured, your request is in the queue and Kellen will be with you as soon as possible. In the meantime, there’s always myself.

Best, Graham If you have a question about life, work or relationships in Kyiv please write to graham@whatson-kiev.com

Cheese

What’s Hot

B

efore leaving for Ukraine last summer, I did a road trip right round England. It was a way of saying goodbye, aware that I’d be away for a while. In my trusty Rover 45, I cruised from Penzance to York, Whitstable to Newcastle, Scarborough to Sheffield. And in all its counties and all its wonder, I love the place! London, though, is home for me, having spent most of my life there. The other day, I was looking over a story in the news, illustrated by photos of London.

There it was, in all its glory: soaring skyscrapers, treelined river embankments, majestic older buildings. It all led me to wonder, sitting in my slightly bleak Soviet flat in the middle of a forest of similar dwellings, “Why on earth am I in Ukraine?”

For many people here, their main desire is to leave. Actually, you can find reported in What’s On previously that 15% plan to do so. Yet, it’s incredibly hard for them, if not in many cases impossible. They dream of a life beyond the constraints of their country, and such other, in effect, ‘holiday destinations’ (Egypt, Turkey) where travel is visafree. Unless you have the connections, the qualifications and, let’s be blunt, the cash, you can ascribe those aspirations to pipedreams. Yet, I could go and hop on a plane in a couple of hours. I could be in London later today. So, why don’t I do just that?

I was pondering this question whilst on the metro travelling into the city. It was a metro

Ukraine and Russia are ready to come round the table, crack out the Jacobs and sort out their cheese conflict. Will they have meaningful talks though, or just shoot the bries?

Visiting Ukraine

Website Skyscanner has seen a surge in flight searches from people coming to visit Ukraine.

For Euro 2012? Not exactly, more before and after Euro 2012. Still, dobro pozhalovat tourists!

Sensation

It’s coming up, it’s in Kyiv, it’s huge, it will be all white on the night…

Goalkeepers

Ukrainian goalkeepers just keep getting banned and injured at the moment. Not that I’m happy about that. Even though I’m English, I live in Ukraine so will support Ukraine. Of course.

Ship Detention

What’s Not

What’s Wrong Tweets

What’s What

That Said

A ship with 16 Ukrainian citizens has been detained in Hong Kong, for unknown reasons. According to crew members, there is no fuel, air conditioning or ventilation and meager stocks of food and fresh water. Sort it out Ukrainian diplomat-types!!

Business Visas for British Citizens

Did you read last week’s piece?

Turns out it’s our own ruddy fault after all. And all those hours I’d spent moaning down at Lucky Pub. Humble pie for muggins Phillips!!

10.04.2012 18:40:56

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