What's On Issue 32 2011

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What’s Up

EU Warns Yanukovych Over Show Trial

H

e must be sitting there wondering: “How the hell am I going to get myself out of this one?”

The scenario surrounding the Tymoshenko trial seems quite clear to most people: “Stand down from politics or we’ll charge you!”

“No.” “So we charged you. Stand down or we’ll put you in jail!”

“No.” “Here’s a taster. Now how do you like that? Stand down or we’ll convict you and you’ll have ten years of this!”

“No!” Having completely underestimated the stubbornness he’s up against, thinks, “What the hell am I going to do?”

As the What’s On offices sit almost directly above the Pechersk District Court (and therefore the protestors and counter protestors) there’s probably no one who appreciates more than us just how farcical the Tymoshenko trial is.

Yanukovych declares it is not political, and yet every day his party pays members of the great unwashed to stand on Khreshchatyk waving banners, while a ridiculously loud sound system (we wonder if they’re issuing ear protection to their paid protestors ‘cause if no they’ll all end up deaf) on a loop blasts out anti-Tymoshenko propoganda followed by a song that was quite buoyant the first couple-of-hundred times but now (as it has reached its millionth play) has lost all flavour. And in order that nobody notices the protestors are members of the great unwashed, a fence has been erected around them so you can’t see them unless you actually look hard. The businesses blocked by it all must be outraged, and all of us here in the What’s On office are on the verge of insanity. It could not get more ludicrous.

And Yanukovych (with his host of American advisors) must realise this and be wondering how the hell he’s going to dig himself out of this hole.

That thought will be in the forefront of his mind after the meeting of EU foreign ministers at the weekend, where the farce of the Tymoshenko trial was brought to the fore. Meeting in the Polish Baltic Sea resort town of Sopot,

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EU foreign ministers agreed that negotiations with Ukraine would continue on free trade and association agreements.

But Swedish Foreign Minister Carl Bildt warned that these agreements may not be ratified by the EU due to growing concern that the Tymoshenko trial is nothing more than a politically motivated attempt to sideline the president’s main rival.

“If they continue with show trials of that sort, and it’s not only Yulia Tymoshenko’s case, I think the chances for an agreement being ratified are fairly slim,” he is quoted as saying.

France’s Foreign Minister Alain Juppe, wholeheartedly agreed. “The majority view is that the agreement can be finalised only if the Tymoshenko case is solved. It means having a free and fair trial and abandoning the unjustified charges against her.”

Catherine Ashton, the EU’s foreign policy chief, added a little more oomph: “We are following the case of Yulia Tymoshenko with great concern and we have made that clear to Ukraine.”

You would think that would be enough to make the president and his team think again, but apparently you’d be wrong. Immediately after these statements appeared in the press, spokesman for Ukraine’s foreign ministry Oleh Voloshyn said: “We welcome the willingness of our European partners to finalise negotiations by the end of the year. Ratification is a long-standing process. It would be too early to comment on it now.”

And of course, he may well be right. It appears that Yanukovych and his team are not too concerned about the bluster from the EU, and the chances are, that’s all it is – bluster.

While it sits between the EU and Russia, and while Yanukovych declares he knows the future of the country lies in the West and not the East, Ukraine is in a very strong political position.

It’s like a game of poker where both hands are holding a straight-flush. We won’t see which has the ace, however, until the final gamble is placed and the cards are shown.

Isn’t it exciting!

9/6/11 6:34:10 PM

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9/6/11 4:43:49 PM

Letter to the President

www.CartoomStock.com

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Dear Viktor, As the new university year begins, it seems a good time to write to you pointing out that the higher education system – like most things in Ukraine – still suffers from corruption. True, it’s not entirely rotten to the core, but there are still too many examples to ignore, with bribes for both admission and grades. The worry is that the system keeps the stupid powerful and the intelligent desperate to leave the country. Whilst this may very well be intended, Viktor, it means Ukraine may never take its rightful place at the table of success. But you’re in luck: there has never been a better time to put it right, and the rewards for doing so have never been higher. What’s On would like to help.

Let’s start by discussing what’s happening, as opposed to what’s meant to be happening, before seeing what we can do about it. It will help to use two real-life examples: Olena is 22 and didn’t go to university, despite getting the best marks in her year. She didn’t go because she didn’t pay the bribe, whereas four of her classmates did. Only the top four got in, and for some unknown reason her classmates’ grades were later revised up, meaning Olena came fifth.

Then there’s Oksana (not her real name). She’s currently studying at a famous university near Shevchenko Park (admission via bribe), admits that she’s utterly useless, and doesn’t care. She doesn’t go to class and does badly in her tests, but she doesn’t mind because she knows her results will be bought, so she just goes shopping instead. When the university tried to expel her, her uncle made a phone-call to his friend in the government, and shortly afterwards all disciplinary proceedings were dropped. She’s still there, skipping class and getting bad marks.

The Oksanas of the country don’t have two brain cells to rub together, yet they’ll continue to get good jobs as a result of their grades and connections, probably at the expense of the more able. It means that the people who you really need running your companies, authorities, projects and teams are either languishing in dead-end jobs or have gone abroad.

This is important for you Viktor, for two reasons.

The first reason is money. If you want Ukraine to become your own little fiefdom, then you’ll need it to be rich and generate wealth. Soon you’ll run out of things to sell to your friends, so you’ll need what’s left to either cost less or make more, or both. The people who will bring about these changes will need brains (which a university degree in Ukraine doesn’t necessarily infer) and motivation (which the corruption certainly doesn’t instil). The

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Olena’s are the ones who will cut costs, improve efficiency, see opportunities, motivate staff and grow profits. In short, it’s the Olena’s who will re-position Ukraine to where it needs to be. Get the Olena’s into the top Ukrainian universities now, doing the subjects they’re good at (not just the ones they can afford) and you’ll have a wealth-generating country within eight to ten years.

The second reason it’s important is power. Everyone knows Ukraine is totally corrupt, and they assume that those who only pay lip-service to cleaning it up (like you, Viktor) are in on the game. Powerful people have both the means and mental capacity to change a system for the better. Powerless people simply work within one, manoeuvring it for their own gain. Change the system, and you’ll have real power. And with power comes respect.

Convinced? Good. Now we need to work out how to do it, and to do that we need to take ideas from a system that works. Because like Ukrainian public money, Viktor, the best ideas are always stolen.

The system we’re thinking of is the one employed by a huge multi-national organisation with a base at Boryspil that employs 2,000 people. They’re hugely successful, with sales of $82 billion per year, and over 300 brands in 180 countries. They’re successful because they employ and promote Olena’s, whilst the Oksana’s don’t even get a look in. They tell an Olena from an Oksana by having a rigorous and transparent selection process.

There are interviews and tests galore (so they really get to understand a candidate’s overall performance and ability). All of it is marked and administered by people who have nothing to gain from either the process or the outcome, and the marks are verified by others, also with nothing to gain.

The results are published early so there can be no last minute revisions like Olena experienced.

If you applied this to your higher education system, you’d cut out all those sticky little fingers that grab at students and families along the way. The most able would stand out as such, and university places would go to those most deserving. People would start to regain trust in the system.

Finally, when choosing your independent people who are removed from the process with nothing to gain, can we suggest they are not Party kleptocrats? Call us cynical.

Kind Regards, What’s On

9/6/11 4:43:55 PM

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This Week Theatre & Classical Music

9-15 September 2011

World-Famous Pianist Opens New Season Elisso Bolkvadze (Georgia/France, piano), National Philharmonic of Ukraine (Volodymyrskiy Uzviz 2)

15 September at 19.00 Elisso Bolkvadze is an incredibly talented tinkler of the ivories. Beginning her musical path almost as soon as she could sit at the piano by herself, she was taking lessons by the age of four and by seven she was giving concerts and playing with orchestras. A chance meeting with Michael Sony and his SOS Talents Fund sealed her fate, and has since led to several successful recordings and concerts worldwide. The same company is bringing the wellknown pianist to Kyiv this autumn to open the new concert season, and accompanied by the Symphony Orchestra of the National Philharmonic, Bolkvadze will please classical music lovers with works by Beethoven, Prokofiev and Tchaikovsky.

Tickets are 70 – 150hrv. For more information call 278-1697.

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Opera Autumn Premiere

ROMANCE. NOSTALGIA Musical drama in 2 acts Time: 19.00 I Franko Ukrainian Drama Theatre 279-5921

14 September at 19.00

Wednesday

Get Protected!

Protection (drama in one act), Dakh Modern Art Theatre (V Vasylkivska 136)

14 and 15 September at 19.00 Dakh premiered the great new performance Protection last spring, with which they will open the 2011/2012 theatre season. Produced together with the Goethe-Institute, the play features three stories, all of which take place in Berlin.

It suggests love is the only thing needed to survive in the tough globalised world of the 21st century. The problem is how do you protect something so fragile amidst a world of problems, selfishness and circumstances out of our control? Perhaps you’ll find the answer here.

For tickets or more information call 529-4062.

9 Friday URUS SHAITAN Tales of the Cossack Otaman and Turkish Sultan in 2 acts Time: 19.00 I Franko Ukrainian Drama Theatre 279-5921 FOUR REASONS TO GET MARRIED Drama in 2 acts Time: 19.00 Drama & Comedy Theatre on the Dnipro 517-1955

10 Saturday YAROSLAV THE WISE Opera in 3 acts Time: 19.00 National Opera of Ukraine 279-1169

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THE TAMING OF THE SHREW Comedy in 2 acts Time: 19.00 I Franko Ukrainian Drama Theatre 279-5921 THE AUDIENCE IS NOT ALLOWED AT THE PERFORMANCE Provocative play in 2 acts Time: 19.00 Drama & Comedy Theatre on the Dnipro 517-1955 DON JUAN. A PANTOMIME FOR WISEASSES Ironic mystic drama Time: 19.00 Pechersk Theatre 253-6550

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Sunday FOREST SONG Ballet in 3 acts Time: 19.00 National Opera Theatre of Ukraine 279-1169

LYING THE PURE TRUTH Play in 1 act Time: 19.00 Drama & Comedy Theatre on the Dnipro 517-1955

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Tuesday THE MARRIAGE OF FIGARO Play in 2 acts Time: 19.00 I Franko Ukrainian Drama Theatre 279-5921 VIENNA WALTZ Ballet in 2 acts Time: 19.00 National Opera Theatre of Ukraine 279-1169 THE RETURN OF THE PRODIGAL FATHER Play in 2 acts Time: 19.00 Drama & Comedy Theatre on the Dnipro 517-1955

IOLANTA Russian opera in 2 act Time: 19.00 National Opera Theatre of Ukraine 279-1169 MEIN KAMPF/SOCKS IN THE COFFEE-MAKER Farce in 2 acts Time: 19.00 Drama & Comedy Theatre on the Dnipro 517-1955 PUSH UP 1-3 Comedy in 2 acts Time: 19.00 Pechersk Theatre 253-6550

Iolanta – Russian opera in 2 acts, National Opera Theatre of Ukraine (Volodymyrska 50) Opening the new theatre season, the National Opera Theatre of Ukraine presents the premiere of the opera Iolanta by Tchaikovsky. Inspired by the Danish play, King Rene’s Daughter, by Henry Hertz, the opera was written quickly and was first debuted at the Mariinsky Theatre in St.Petersburg in 1892. Since then, it has been successfully staged in Russia and abroad, most notably thanks to music critics who often note the lyrical beauty and charm of the heroine. Born blind without realising it, both Iolanta and the story may be a bit naïve. However, it ends well, proving love can work miracles.

Tickets are 30 – 200hrv. For more information call 279-1169.

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Thursday NATALKA POLTAVKA Ukrainian musical drama in 2 acts Time: 19.00 I Franko Ukrainian Drama Theatre 279-5921 ROMEO & JULIET Ballet in 3 acts Time: 19.00 National Opera Theatre of Ukraine 279-1169 GALA-CONCERT Performance in 2 acts Time: 19.00 Kyiv Operetta 287-6257 THE CUCKOLD A performance of love & jealousy in 2 acts Time: 19.00 Drama & Comedy Theatre on the Dnipro 517-1955 PUSH UP 1-3 Comedy in 2 acts Time: 19.00 Pechersk Theatre 253-6550

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Live Music

9-15 September 2011

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BANGLADESH ORCHESTRA (COVER BAND) Time: 22.00 Admission: 50hrv Art Club 44 (Khreshchatyk 44b) 279-4137

THE POSTMAN OF NOBEL (INDIE, POST-ROCK) Time: 21.00 Admission: 150hrv Sullivan Room (Prorizna 8) 066-813-2012

ANGIE NEARS (COVER BAND) Time: 21.00 Admission: call and check Bochka Khmilna (B Khmelnytskoho 3b) 390-6106

MJ PROJECT (COVER BAND) Time: 22.00 Admission: 50hrv Art Club 44 (Khreshchatyk 44b) 279-4137

Friday

Saturday

CARTE BLANCHE (COVER BAND) Time: 21.00 Admission: call and check Bochka Pyvna (Moskovskiy Pr 17/1) 461-8788

BEEFEATERS (COVER BAND) Time: 20.00 Admission: call and check Bochka Khmilna (B Khmelnytskoho 3b) 390-6106

HOT GUYS (COVER BAND) Time: 21.00 Admission: call and check Bochka Pyvna (Khreshchatyk 19a) 459-0551

PLB (COVER BAND) Time: 21.00 Admission: call and check Bochka Pyvna (Moskovskiy Pr 17/1) 461-8788

SLONY, PARTYZANSKI VYTIVKY (POP-ROCK, COVER BAND) Time: 22.00 Admission: 70hrv Docker’s ABC (KhreshchatykZankovetskoi 15/4) 278-1717

CARTE BLANCHE (COVER BAND) Time: 20.00 Admission: call and check Bochka Pyvna (Khreshchatyk 19a) 459-0551

EASY DIZZY, TEX-MEX CO (COVER BANDS) Time: 22.00 Admission: 70hrv Docker Pub (Bohatyrska 25) 451-8528

EASY DIZZY, ANIMALS’ SESSION (COVER BANDS) Time: 22.00 Admission: 70hrv Docker’s ABC (KhreshchatykZankovetskoi 15/4) 278-1717

JOKER’S (COVER BAND) Time: 21.00 Admission: free Star Pub (Popudenka 1a) 292-2900

SLONY, PARTYZANSKI VYTIVKY (POP-ROCK, COVER BAND) Time: 21.30 Admission: 70hrv Docker Pub (Bohatyrska 25) 451-8528

VASYA CLUB, ANIMALS’ SESSION (COVER BANDS) Time: 21.00 Admission: free Route 66 (Zhulyanska 87/30) 239-3865

HOT GUYS (COVER BAND) Time: 21.00 Admission: free Star Pub (Popudenka 1a) 292-2900

SPEAK OUT (BLUES) Time: 21.00 Admission: free Divan (Besarabska 2) 235-7366

BENDER BAND, GOOD, BAD, EVIL (COVER BANDS) Time: 21.00 Admission: free Route 66 (Zhulyanska 87/30) 239-3865

C.L.P (POP-ROCK) Time: 21.00 Admission: call and check Ciro’s Pomodoro (S. Rustaveli 12) 221-4545

BANGLADESH ORCHESTRA (COVER BAND) Time: 20.00 Admission: free Divan (Besarabska 2) 235-7366

REBUS (BLUES, POP) Time: 21.00 Admission: call and check Ciro’s Pomodoro (S. Rustaveli 12) 221-4545

Bryan Stripped Bare

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As a former vocalist of Roxy Music, a popular British band of the 70s, Bryan Ferry has had a turbulent go of it on his own. Recording with the band as well as going solo, his biggest album was Let’s Stick Together released in 1976. He has, however, come out with a few decent hits since. With 21 studio albums under his belt, the latest of which is his newest album, Olympia, there is sure to be a song for just about everyone.

Admission is 300 – 3000hrv. For more information call 247−2444.

Bryan Ferry (UK, art rock), Palace Ukraine (V Vasylkivska 103)

13 September at 19.00

Sunday E GORIN AND THE POSTMAN OF NOBEL (indie, post-rock) Time: 20.00 Admission: 150hrv Sullivan Room (Prorizna 8) 066-813-2012 SOYUZ 44 (JAZZ) Time: 22.00 Admission: free Art Club 44 (Khreshchatyk 44b) 279-4137 VOL.VER, ALCOHOL CRIES, SHUM, INFA (PUNK FEST) Time: 20.00 Admission: 30hrv Bochka Pyvna (Moskovskiy Pr 17/1) 461-8788 FOXTROT MUSIC BAND (COVER BAND) Time: 22.00 Admission: free Docker’s ABC (KhreshchatykZankovetskoi 15/4) 278-1717

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Wednesday GERA & SECOND BREATH (COVER BAND) Time: 22.00 Admission: free Docker’s ABC (KhreshchatykZankovetskoi 15/4) 278-1717

TRES DESEOS (COVER BAND) Time: 22.00 Admission: 20hrv Docker’s ABC (KhreshchatykZankovetskoi 15/4) 278-1717

EASTERN EXPRESS (COVER BAND) Time: 21.00 Admission: 50hrv Docker Pub (Bohatyrska 25) 451-8528

ANIMALS’ SESSION (COVER BAND) Time: 21.00 Admission: call and check Docker Pub (Bohatyrska 25) 451-8528

HAIRY VIPER (COVER BAND) Time: 20.00 Admission: free Route 66 (Zhulyanska 87/30) 239-3865

YUKHYM DYM (COVER BAND) Time: 18.00 Admission: free Route 66 (Zhulyanska 87/30) 239-3865

DVIJA (POP-ROCK) Time: 20.00 Admission: free Divan (Besarabska 2) 235-7366

GOOD, EVIL, BAD (COVER BAND) Time: 21.00 Admission: call and check Ciro’s Pomodoro (S. Rustaveli 12) 221-4545

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KOLO KHMAR (POP-ROCK) Time: 20.00 Admission: free Divan (Besarabska 2) 235-7366

BLANK (POP-ROCK) Time: 22.00 Admission: free Art Club 44 (Khreshchatyk 44b) 279-4137

SEBASTIAN PECZNIK (HOLLAND, JAZZ) Time: 22.00 Admission: call and check Art Club 44 (Khreshchatyk 44b) 279-4137

ALRIGHT (COVER BAND) Time: 21.00 Admission: call and check Ciro’s Pomodoro (S. Rustaveli 12) 221-4545

Monday

Tuesday

TEX-MEX CO (COVER BAND) Time: 21.30 Admission: free Docker Pub (Bohatyrska 25) 451-8528 IHOR BOHDANOV AND THE BELLS (COVER BAND) Time: 21.00 Admission: free Route 66 (Zhulyanska 87/30) 239-3865

TOM MORRIS AND SOPHIE VILLY (UK, POP) Time: 22.00 Admission: call and check Art Club 44 (Khreshchatyk 44b) 279-4137 ROCKING WOLVES (COVER BAND) Time: 22.00 Admission: 30hrv Docker’s ABC (KhreshchatykZankovetskoi 15/4) 278-1717 THE MAGMA (COVER BAND) Time: 21.30 Admission: free Docker Pub (Bohatyrska 25) 451-8528 DYADYA VASYA (COVER BAND) Time: 21.00 Admission: free Route 66 (Zhulyanska 87/30) 239-3865 SERHIY OVSYANIKOV (JAZZ) Time: 20.00 Admission: free Divan (Besarabska 2) 235-7366 MORE KHUANA (COVER BAND) Time: 21.00 Admission: call and check Ciro’s Pomodoro (S. Rustaveli 12) 221-4545

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Thursday NOTIMEFOR (ITALY, POP-ROCK) Time: 22.00 Admission: 20hrv Art Club 44 (Khreshchatyk 44b) 279-4137 HOT GUYS (COVER BAND) Time: 21.00 Admission: 30hrv Bochka Khmilna (B Khmelnytskoho 3b) 390-6106 TRES DESEOS (COVER BAND) Time: 21.00 Admission: call and check Bochka Pyvna (Moskovskiy Pr 17/1) 461-8788 BAD, GOOD, EVIL (COVER BAND) Time: 21.00 Admission: call and check Bochka Pyvna (Khreshchatyk 19a) 459-0551 MR OCH AND HIS ROOT BOYS (COVER BAND) Time: 22.00 Admission: call and check Docker’s ABC (KhreshchatykZankovetskoi 15/4) 278-1717 STRONG TIME, RUKY V BRYUKY (COVER BANDS) Time: 21.30 Admission: call and check Docker Pub (Bohatyrska 25) 451-8528 RIFFS (COVER BAND) Time: 20.00 Admission: free Star Pub (Popudenka 1a) 292-2900

French Claims on Alaska My Own Private Alaska (France, screamo experimental), Xlib (Frunze 12)

PIRATA BAND (COVER BAND) Time: 21.00 Admission: free Route 66 (Zhulyanska 87/30) 239-3865

9 September at 19.00 One of France’s most demonstrative bands is coming to Kyiv. With earpiercing vocals, melodic piano parts and hard drum riffs, you’ll not get anything this evening that you didn’t pay for. Having put out three mini-albums, the first two were recorded with Ross Robinson, famous for his work with Korn, Slipknot, Limp Bizkit, The Cure and Klaxons. This last one is a tribute to acoustic, and just recently released is called The Red Sessions.

Admission is 120hrv. For more information call 067-538-8175.

TRI-BOBRA (POP-ROCK) Time: 20.00 Admission: free Divan (Besarabska 2) 235-7366 MARMALADE (COVER BAND) Time: 21.00 Admission: call and check Ciro’s Pomodoro (S. Rustaveli 12) 221-4545

: What's On Recommended

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This Week Art

9-15 September 2011

POP-ART AND ITS KINGS Exhibition of works by William John Kennedy Mironova gallery (Olgynska 6) Until 29 September 067-723-6709

ART HABITAT Exhibition of works by young Ukrainian artists Bottega Gallery (Mykhaylivska 22b) Until 27 September 279-5353

FIREWOOD Exhibition of works by Olena Blank Ya Gallery (Voloska 55/57) Until 3 October 537-3351

TRANSGRESSIVE UTOPIA Exhibition of works by Ouka Leele (Spain) Soviart Gallery (Andriivsky Uzviz 22a) Until 23 September 425-1079

A Hnylytsky Retrospective Exhibition of works by Oleksandr Hnylytsky, National Art Museum (Hrushevskoho 6)

From 9 September Oleksandr Hnylytsky is a meaningful figure in Ukrainian contemporary art. Having worked in various forms of art media including painting, video-art, photography and object-art, he was once a part of the so-called New Wave movement where his works were sometimes meditative, often shocking and always thought-provoking. Since the artist’s passing in 2009, Ukraine has lost one of its most intense and strict critics. However, this next exhibition represents him in all of his preferred techniques, including self portraits, and allows an enduring look at the artist.

For more information call 278-7454.

WITH LOVE TO A HUMAN BEING Exhibition of photographic works by Howard Shatz Brucie Collections (Artema 55b) Until 24 October 353-1234 20 YEARS OF PRESENCE Exhibition of works by Ukrainian artists Institute of Issues Concerning Contemporary Art (Shchorsa 18d) Until 13 September 529-2051

DIALOGUE OF CULTURES Exhibition of paintings by Ivan Peske Kyiv Museum of Russian Art (Tereshchenkivska 9) Until 28 September 287-7324

LAST CHANGING Exhibition of works by Yevhen Petrov Zeh Gallery (Frunze 69) Until 24 September 068-118-5157

Family

Fill Your Face!

Fourth International Festival of Potato Pancakes, Central Park (Korostennya, Zhytomyr oblast)

10 September at 13.00 We are quickly coming upon that time of year when we will all have to spend more time inside. With these last few weeks

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PUPPET THEATRE Hrushevskoho 1A (metro Maidan Nezalezhnosti) 278-5808

CIRCUS Peremohy 2 (metro Vokzalna) 486-3927 www.circus.com.ua

MUNICIPAL PUPPET THEATRE Mytropolska 1 513-1500

ZOO Peremohy Pr. 32 241-7769 www.zoo.kiev.ua

MARIONETTE THEATRE Sahaidochnoho 29/3 (metro Poshtova Ploshcha) 417-3058 http://marionet.com.ua

DYVOSVIT 4D cinema, children’s labyrinth, attractions Marshala Malinovskoho 24/10 502-0088 www.dyvosvit.ua

of warm weather then, why not spend as much time as you can out of doors?!? Take a trip out to the province of Zhytomyr and take in the fourth annual Deruny Festival! Where in addition to these delicious potato pancakes, there will be contests and competitions, exhibitions and entertainment for the whole family!

For more information call 041429-6188.

BUTTERFLY ULTRAMARINE Cinema, children’s playground, bowling, arcade Uritskoho 1A (metro Vokzalna) 206-0350 www.kino-butterfly.com.ua KOBZOV CIRCUS 239-2181 Prospekt Pobedy 82 www.circus-kobzov.com.ua MYSTICAL-AQUARIUM CENTRE Koshytsa 8A (metro Poznyaky) 502-1796 www.aquariumfish.com.ua

NEMO DOLPHINARIUM Akademika Glushkova 9 520-5550 www.nemokiev.com KYIV PLANETARIUM Chervonoarmiyska 57/3 287-7508 www.planet.org.ua/about.html AQUAPARK TERMINAL Aquapark, shopping and entertainment centre Kyivska 316 in the town of Brovary 200-1450 www.aquapark-terminal.com.ua

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BARMALEY AND AYBOLIT Ballet in 2 acts Time: 12.00 Kyiv Theatre of Opera & Ballet for Children & Youth 425-3116

Saturday THE THREE LITTLE PIGS Puppet-play for children 3+ Time: 11.00 PAN KOTSKY Puppet-play for children 3+ Time: 13.00 CINDERELLA Puppet-play for children 3+ Time: 15.00 ALADDIN’S MAGIC LAMP Puppet-play for children 4+ Time: 17.00 Kyiv Puppet Theatre 278-0566

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Sunday THE ADVENTURES OF PINOCCHIO Musical in 2 acts Time: 12.00 Kyiv Theatre of Opera & Ballet for Children & Youth 425-3116

THE BICYCLE WITH RED WHEELS Adventure in 1 act for children 3+ Time: 11.00 & 13.00 Lypska Youth Theatre 253-6219 YASNOGORODSKYA OSTRICH FARM Podlesnaya 32, Yasnohorodska (30km outside of Kyiv) 782-3240 www.ostrich.com.ua HOPAK IN KYIV Hopak Training Centres 332-7747 or 067-933-3244 Visit http://hopak.kiev.ua/ua/ NABEG HORSEBACK RIDING CENTRE Vishgorodska 85 067-712-3384 http://www.loshadi.kiev.ua/

MARIKA AND THE BEAR Puppet-play for children 3+ Time: 11.00 LITTLE LONGNOSE Puppet-play for children 3+ Time: 13.00 THE FROG PRINCESS Puppet-play for children 3+ Time: 15.00 PUSS IN BOOTS Puppet-play for children 3+ Time: 17.00 Kyiv Puppet Theatre 278-0566

THE GREEN HILLS OF THE OCEAN Fairytale in 1 act for children 5+ Time: 11:00 & 13:00 Lypska Youth Theatre 253-6219

KYIV HORSE RACE TRACK Akademika Glushkova 10 266-2223 STATE MUSEUM OF TOYS Klovskiy 8 253-5400 INTERESNIY KIEV Tours in and around Kyiv in English!

491-1176 or 068-121-4458 Visit www.interesniy.kiev.ua/new/ tour/english

PYROHOVO OPEN AIR MUSEUM Folk architecture and life Marshrutka #3/156 from metro Lybydska 526-5542 MAMAEVA SLOBODA Outdoor Cossack Museum Mykhayla Dontsya 2, Otradniy region 361-9848 www.mamajeva-sloboda.ua

NIVKY PARK Children’s playground, rifle ranges, walking paths, cafes Prospect Pobedy 82 KURENEVSKIY PARK Playgrounds, attractions, cafes Frunze 134 NATIONAL BOTANICAL GARDEN Open year round Timiryazevskaya 1

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Nightlife

9-15 September 2011

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New Album Tour Moonbeam (Russia, techno trance, progressive), Stereo Plaza (Kikvidze 17)

Sunday

9 September at 21.00 Their name might suggest something a little less party and a little more grade four storybook, but duo Moonbeam are fully deserving of all the accolades they have been receiving as of late. Playing together since 2003, brothers Pavlo and Vitaliy are considered one of the best representatives of Russian dance music in the world. Even DJMag puts them at number 76 among their lineup of Top 100 DJs saying these two are responsible for countless deep, melodic and atmospheric techno tracks.

Supported by trusted DJs Tiesto, Above & Beyond, Armin van Buuren, Markus Schulz and more, their new album, The Secret, is going to blow you away.

Tickets are 150hrv. For more information call 222-8040.

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Friday TOP DJ AWARDS – DJ KON, DJ ANNA LEE, DJ TAPOLSKY, DJ ARTEM NEBA Time: 22.00 Admission: call and check Forsage (Harmatna 51a) 232-6780 GON’S KITCHEN: 1 YEAR BIRTHDAY PARTY – DJ KRISTINA, DJ MARIKA ROSSA, DJ ALEXANDR GALICKIY, DJ D SPIELER, DJ UNDERHILL Time: 22.00 Admission: before 23.30 L-25hrv, G-30hrv, after L-40hrv, G-50hrv Saxon (Trutenko 4) 257-4070 SUMMER DNB CLOSING – TONY ANTHER & AXL ENDER (NORWAY), COOH (BULGARIA) Time: 22.00 Admission: 120hrv The Most Open Air (Moskovskiy Bridge, Druzhby Narodiv Park) www.dnbclosing.topdj.ua SUSHI GIRL PARTY – DJ ANDREY KRISIS, DJ MORGAN, DJ AXEL, SHOW GEYSH, MC IRIS Time: 23.00 Admission: before 23.00-free, after L-25hrv, G-50hrv Egoist (Horlovskaya 124/140) 223-3633 SKIN (SKUNK ANANSIE, DJ SET) Time: 23.00 Admission: 100hrv – 250hrv Sullivan Room (Prorizna 8) 066-485-5555 GIRLS NIGHT DISCO FRIDAY – DJ NIKOLAI NICK, DJ KARIBSKY, DJ DRIVER Time: 22.00 Admission: before 00.00 L-free, G-35hrv, after L-30hrv, G-50hrv Prime (Nauki 8) 524-2209 DJ ALIGHIERY SHOW – DJ KOVALEVSKY, DANTE PARK LADIES SHOW Time: 22.00 Admission: call and check Dante Park (Parkovaya Doroga 16) 221-4433 DEATH ON THE DANCE FLOOR – KABA, TIMOTI FAIN, TOMMY GUN, TRASH YOURSELF, VALTA, CRIM, VIDEO TERROIST-VJ KIDIK Time: 23.00 Admission: 50hrv Xlib (Frunze 12) 417-3233 LATIN AMERICAN LIVE MUSIC Time: 22.00 Admission: L-100hrv, G-150hrv Caribbean Club (Kominternu 4) 288-1290

BUILDING UILDING – DJ ROMA RIO, DJ DATSKAYA, MC RAZVESELIY Time: 21.00 Admission: before 23.00 L-free, after L-50hrv, G-90hrv Shooters (Moskovska 22) 254-2024 COSMOPOLITAN DREAMS – DJ SUNSHINE, DJ RUNOV Time: 22.00 Admission: call and check Arena (Baseina 2a) 093-947-7476 PARTY IN BED – DIAMOND DJS, AZURE SHOW GIRLS, Time: 20.00 Admission: L-free, G-150hrv Azure (Leontovycha 3) 234-7494 DJ STYLZ (MOSCOW) Time: 22.00 Admission: call and check D’Lux (Hrushevskoho 3) 200-9009 MANTRA & KRISHA CONNECTION – DR SPY.DER, DJ JOZZ, DJ WEIZMAN Time: 22.00 Admission: before 23.00-free, after L-100hrv, G-200hrv Mantra (Basseina 2a) 050-336-2848

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Saturday

CRAZY CARNIVAL – CHIEFF MC, DJ ROMANTIC, MC DYM, DJ UNDERHILL, ID CRASH, MC ROMAN, DJ CLUBER Time: 22.00 Admission: before 23.30 L-30, G-40hrv, after L-50hrv, G-60hrv Saxon (Trutenko 4) 257-4070 FULLMOON – DJ SERGE PROSHE, ARTUR WEIZMAN Time: 22.00 Admission: before 23.00-free, after L-100hrv, G-200hrv Mantra (Basseina 2a) 050-336-2848 SUMMER DNB CLOSING – ARKUS P (GERMANY), HELLSYSTEM (ITALY) Time: 22.00 Admission: 120hrv The Most Open Air (Moskovskiy Bridge, Druzhby Narodiv Park) www.hardclosing.topdj.ua KIRILL CLASH & DMITRIY NEMA – DJ KOVALEVSKY, DANTE PARK LADIES SHOW Time: 22.00 Admission: call and check Dante Park (Parkovaya Doroga 16) 221-4433 DJ BOYS TOYS, DJ HOOLIGAN, DJ SHKED Time: 22.00 Admission: call and check Arena (Baseina 2a) 093-947-7476

ICE PARTY – DJ ICE, DJ VLAD MFK Time: 22:00 Admission: L- free, G-50hrv Vodka Bar (Globus-2nd line, Maidan Nezalezhnosti) 371-1102

HOME PARTY – DJ SHPILINSKY, DJ ANDREY KRISIS, DJ AXEL, MC IRIS Time: 23.00 Admission: before 23.00-free, after L-25hrv, G-50hrv Egoist (Horlovskaya 124/140) 223-3633

JUNGLE CITY PROGRESSIVE ESSENTIALS – SAMOSUD, ECCENTRICSS, WONDERLINE, MC BLACKY Time: 16.30 Admission: 50hrv Sorry Babushka (Dmytrivskaya 18/24) 486-0300

BERLIN NIGHT – DJ DASO (MINIMAL HOUSE), ETA 0101 (TECHNO), SVYAZNOY (TECHNO) Time: 23.59 Admission: call and check Sullivan Room (Prorizna 8) 066-485-5555

ARE YOU TECHNO? – TOM HADES (BELGIUM), CHRISTIAN CAMBAS (GREECE), SPARTAQUE, EGOR BOSS Time: 22.00 Admission: before 23.30 L-40hrv, G-60hrv, after L-60hrv, G-80hrv Forsage (Harmatna 51a) 232-6780 SUMMER COLLECTION Time: 22.00 Admission: before 23.00-free, after call and check D’Lux (Hrushevskoho 3) 200-9009 F NIGHT – DJ DATSKAYA, DJ SERG, DJ BODROV, DJ JUMPER, MC ALEX AMEGA Time: 21.00 Admission: before 23.00 L-free, after L-50hrv, G-90hrv Shooters (Moskovska 22) 254-2024

PRIVATE AFTER PARTY – KOMA JUNIOR, MOBY JUNIOR Time: 04.00 Admission: 50hrv Voices (Sahaidachnoho 25) 425-9712 HITS OF THE 80S, 90S AND 2000S Time: 23.00 Admission: call and check Sky Hall (Malinovskoho 24/10) 502-0088 LATIN AMERICAN LIVE MUSIC Time: 22.00 Admission: L-100hrv, G-150hrv Caribbean Club (Kominternu 4) 288-1290 RADIO AZURE PARTY – DIAMOND DJS, AZURE GO-GO DANCE GIRLS Time: 21.00 Admission: call and check Azure (Leontovycha 3) 234-7494

SUNDAY IN THE BIG CITY – DJ MIU, DJ SAMOSUD, DJ SAMANTO, DJ HOROSH, MC PASHA Time: 22:00 Admission: free Vodka Bar (Globus-2nd line, Maidan Nezalezhnosti) 371-1102 R’N’B BOOM – DJ LADY, DJ MEKHANIK, DJ MUKVIK, MC GIGA Time: 22.00 Admission: before 00.00 L-10hrv, G-15hrv, after L-20hrv, G-30hrv Forsage (Harmatna 51a) 232-6780 TECHNOLOGY MADNESS: 911 ANTITERRORISM PARTY – BIDA HAIR PROJECT (LIVE), DJ EGOR BOSS, DJ KIRILL MIXER, DJ MITCHELL, DJ ROCKS, MC DIM Time: 22.00 Admission: before 23.30 L-10hrv, G-15hrv, after L-15hrv, G-30hrv Saxon (Trutenko 4) 257-4070 DISCOMANIA PARTY – DJ VELSKIY Time: 21.00 Admission: free Azure (Leontovycha 3) 234-7494 SALSATEQUA Time: 21.00 Admission: before 23.00-free, after L-20hrv, G-50hrv Caribbean Club (Kominternu 4) 288-1290 BEACH ON THE BOARDWALK – DJ VOVA BLACKS, DJ DREAM, DJ BODROV, MC CLUBNICHKA Time: 22.00 Admission: L-free, G-90hrv Shooters (Moskovska 22) 254-2024 LIGHT DISCO – DJ MAROCCO Time: 20.00 Admission: free D’Lux (Hrushevskoho 3) 200-9009 PARTY ON – MARSI MORALES, ARTURO RICCI, T.J., ELFINDJ & MC SNEJOK, SEVEN UP, STANLY FLY, TIANA, DJ HLEC, MC VANILLA SKY Time: 22.00 Admission: before 00.00 L-15hrv, G-20hrv, after 30hrv Prime (Nauki 8) 524-2209

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Monday RELAX IN DELUXE STYLE – DJ MAROCCO Time: 22.00 Admission: call and check D’Lux (Hrushevskoho 3) 200-9009 EASTERN EXPRESS – DJ JUMPER, DJ DREAM, DJ DIPOLE, MC RUZHUI Time: 22.00 Admission: free Shooters (Moskovska 22) 254-2024

DISCOTHEQUE OF THE 80S – DJ VELSKIY Time: 21.00 Admission: free Azure (Leontovycha 3) 234-7494 LATINO DISCO Time: 22.00 Admission: L-40hrv, G-60hrv Caribbean Club (Kominternu 4) 288-1290 HOT BUNS – DJ SERG, DJ BODROV, DJ DIPOLE, MC RUZHUI Time: 22.00 Admission: free Shooters (Moskovska 22) 254-2024

14 Wednesday LADIES NIGHT – DJ MAROCCO Time: 22.00 Admission: free D’Lux (Hrushevskoho 3) 200-9009 MEN’S DAY! Time: 22.00 Admission: L-50hrv, G-free Sorry Babushka (Dmytrivskaya 18/24) 486-0300 LATINA FIESTA PARTY – DJ STALKERA, MC ADAMA, GO-GO SHOW Time: 21.00 Admission: free Azure (Leontovycha 3) 234-7494 ISLAND OF THE AMAZONS Time: 22.00 Admission: call and check Caribbean Club (Kominternu 4) 288-1290

ZHC – DJ VOVA BLACKS, DJ JUMPER, DJ DATSKAYA, DJ BODROV, DJ SERG, MC CLUBNICHKA Time: 22.00 Ladies only before 00.00 Admission: before 00.00 L-free, after L-50hrv, G-90hrv Shooters (Moskovska 22) 254-2024

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Thursday TRIANGLE SUN (RUSSIA, LOUNGE, DOWNTEMPO) Time: 22.00 Admission: call and check Mantra (Basseina 2a) 221-4448 LADIES NIGHT! Time: 22.00 Admission: L-free, G-50hrv Sorry Babushka (Dmytrivskaya 18/24) 486-0300 DJEJULA & THE GIRLS Time: 22.00 Admission: call and check Vodka Bar (Globus-2nd line, Maidan Nezalezhnosti) 371-1102 LATINO DISCO Time: 22.00 Admission: L-40hrv, G-60hrv Caribbean Club (Kominternu 4) 288-1290 LADIES NIGHT Time: 23.00 Admission: L-free, G-100hrv Azure (Leontovycha 3) 234-7494 UNLIMITED THURSDAYS – DJ BUMER, DJ ZOITS Time: 22.00 Admission: L-50hrv, G-100hrv BabyFace (Shchorsa 44) 286-0777 V SALE – DJ ROMA RIO, DJ11DATSKAYA, MC ALEX AMEGA Time: 22.00 Admission: call and check Shooters (Moskovska 22) 254-2024

Birthday Girl Celebrates in Kyiv In-Grid (Italy, club music), Tema Fashion Club (Artema 37-41)

10 September at 22.00 Turning Kyiv’s nightlife into every woman’s fashion fantasy, the Tema Fashion Club are welcoming the change of the season with one of the international club scene’s most prized possession: In-Grid! Coming to Kyiv to celebrate her birthday, her most notable song Tu es foutu is what clubbers will most remember and love her for. Girl group Trishy will also be on hand, while DJ Joint is going to keep the dance floor pumping all night long.

For tickets or more information call 486-8727.

SALSATEQUA Time: 21.00 Admission: before 23.00-free, after L-20hrv, G-50hrv Caribbean Club (Kominternu 4) 288-1290 GIRLS NIGHT WITH MONRO – DJ MOLOTOV, MC KUPIDON Time: 22.00 Admission: call and check Kalinka Malinka (Mayakovskoho 47) 515-0322

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Tuesday LADIES NIGHT – DJ MAROCCO Time: 22.00 Admission: free D’Lux (Hrushevskoho 3) 200-9009 : What's On Recommended

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9/6/11 4:44:26 PM

Stephen Oryszczuk

12

Ukraine Today

Poles Apart Valeriya Kostenko is a quiet and unassuming young lady, with an inner confidence that slowly becomes apparent during our two hours of talking. She pole dances. Not only that, she also teaches pole dancing and helps run the national pole dancing authority. She is currently organising the biggest pole dancing tournament this country has seen, and she took time out to talk to What’s On a week before the Ukrainian Pole Dance and Fitness Association’s first ever national pole dancing championships. We asked her about the stereotypes, the reality, and the rapidly changing way in which pole dancing is being practised.

T

he country’s first professional pole dancing championships will be held on 17 September in Kyiv. At stake will be prize money of $1,000 and the chance to represent Ukraine in the European Championships a week later. But let’s come back to that a little further on, because it’s actually the final chapter of a bigger and far more interesting story.

Stereotypes and Surprises Telling that story is Valeriya, who takes us back only two or three years, to the time of the popular pole dancing revolution. Before that, the people learning pole dancing were far more likely to be learning it for the purpose of stripping. There to learn a profession, they came out of necessity, sent by the strip clubs with no real passion for it. Their interest extended only to the mechanics of the movement and the best way to look sexy, so they could earn more tips.

What’s now being practiced by thousands across the country is not a profession but an art, a dance, a form of exercise, and a means of expression. It has its roots in China, where circus acrobats used poles and bars to perform breathtaking contortions and wow the crowd. Beyond this niche field the world woke up to pole dancing (as a non-strip activity) several years ago. It’s now huge in Europe, America, China, Japan and Australia. Ukraine has only recently discovered it, in large part because Moscow only discovered it a few years earlier.

So what type of person now learns to pole dance, besides strippers, who still go to learn a trade? The answer is that both women and men learn, and the age range is vast. The youngest girl at Valeriya’s school is 14, who comes along with her mother, whilst the eldest is a lady well over 50. That’s impressive, but Valeriya can see that I’m still in a state of shock after having been told that men pole dance, and she tells me that one of the judges next week is a man who has toured the world with his skills. She also tells me of a goodlooking male teacher at her pole dancing school, whose classes are always the most popular. Apparently, female students don’t mind being physically helped on the bars by this particular chap, and because they want to impress him, they work twice as hard, meaning that he has one of the best success rates at the school.

A Degree of Confidence Stripping aside, what reasons do people have for learning to pole dance?

Some people simply want to get fit, and they find that pole dancing is ex-

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cellent for increasing both strength and flexibility. Some have personal reasons. One young man came along because he was into break dancing, and he wanted to see if he could fuse the two forms of dance (which he did!).

One lady came for three months because she wanted to surprise her husband for his birthday (which she did!). Most of the time people come along because they have a friend or relative who goes, and they’re curious to see whether they’ll like it.

What benefits are there to pole dancing, besides fitness? At this point Valeriya lights up. Over the next 20 minutes, we talk about the impact it has on people’s lives. The word I keep hearing is ‘confidence’.

First there is confidence in the dancer’s physical ability, as they do ever more work on the bars, especially in inverted positions. I suggest to Valeriya that being upside down two metres up a pole, with nothing but a bit of grip to keep you from falling head-first takes either alcohol or an acute lack of intelligence. She assures me it is just confidence and ability. Then there is the self-confidence to wear minimal clothing. Because the best grip comes from skin, the more bare skin the better, and she says that some can be uncomfortable with this at first. Finally there is the confidence that comes through expression. The dance is choreographed to music, so there are specific tricks and techniques, but beyond that it’s limited only by the dancer’s imagination. Poise, balance, sensuality and fluidity all develop, and dancers become more able to express themselves physically, perhaps for the first time in their lives.

Valeriya says this latter aspect helps people in life too. She never tires of seeing students whose development and progression in the lessons mirror a growing confidence and self-belief outside class. They start buying different types of clothes and shoes, and some even find their walk changes.

Stereotypes and Stigma Given the stigma, are people open about their pole dancing? Valeriya says that perceptions are changing, and hopes that the national championship will help with that, but many still automatically associate it with stripping. When she first started, she worked as an executive in a construction company and only told her very close friends because she knew she’d be judged and would lose credibility if others knew. Now she tells people quite happily, because it’s becoming more acceptable, as more people get to know that pole dancing is performed as a form of

9/6/11 4:44:29 PM

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9/6/11 4:44:46 PM

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Coming Soon

Maybe Yes Maybe No Maybeshewill (UK, instrumental rock), Xlib (Frunze 12)

16 September at 19.00 Over the past five years, this instrumental British band had been wondering whether their music would be making miracles happen, and by miracles we mean money. It took a little while, but their experimental melodies have in fact brought them concert halls full of fans. Over the last three years in particular, during an endless touring schedule that has taken them around the world, the three studio albums Maybeshewill has produced has flicked them onto the world stage. Never heard of them? Maybe it’s time to get acquainted.

Admission is 120hrv. For more information call 067-538-8175.

The Future of Ukrainian Art Exhibition of works by 20 nominees for the PinchukArtCentre 2011 Prize, PinchukArtCentre (Baseina 1/3-2)

From 29 October PinchukArtCentre, Kyiv’s largest centre of contemporary art, is famous for supporting and promoting young Ukrainian and foreign contemporary artists. Winners of their yearly PinchukArtCen-

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A First For Ukraine Kevin Mahogany (US, jazz) and Ark Ovrutskiy’s Quintet, National Music Academy (Architect Horodetskiy 1-3/11)

23 October at 19.00 According to some of the world’s most influential music publications, Kevin Mahogany has been the wild card of jazz. Beginning with his first self-titled album, Kevin, he impressed listeners with his amazing vocal ability and creative lyrics. Now coming to Kyiv for the first time, he will be performing his own masterpieces along with a few jazz music classics, and together with the talented Ark Ovrytskiy, it’s going to be a night to remember.

Tickets are 80 – 200hrv. For more information call 279-0792.

ter Prize, a competition of Ukrainian young artists, typically take home anywhere from 10,000hrv – 100,000hrv. The real honour, however, is the internship with a world famous artist that accompanies it.

The short list for this year includes names both new and old such as Zhanna Kadyrova, Mykyta Kadan and Lada Nakonechna. The exhibition opens later this fall, with winners being announced at some point in December.

For more information call 590-0858.

The Original Macadam Flower Emma Shapplin (France, opera), Palace Ukraine (V Vasylkivska 103)

8 November at 19.00 Emma Shapplin is a waif of a woman with a voice that makes walls shake and glass break. Her extraordinary talent was revealed in early childhood which grew into a classical music career as a teenager. Crossing over into other genres, fame followed close behind, turning each and every concert of hers into an operatic pop experience not to be missed!

Performing in Latin and ancient Italian, her musical experiments go far beyond that which any genre can classify, which her last album, featuring a hard rock sound supporting beefy vocals, well demonstrated.

Tickets are 200 – 3000hrv. For more information call 247-2316.

Opening a Season of Rock Druha Rika (UA) and Mor ve Otesi (Turkey, pop-rock), Arena Concert Plaza (Baseina 2a)

Are You Openminded?

Roger Shah (Germany, DJ set), Stereo Plaza (Kikvidze 17)

17 September at 20.30

24 September at 21.00

Disproving the ludicrous rumours about the band’s break up, Druha Rika is inviting everyone out to their concert in Arena, the zest of which is going to be their special guests, Mor ve Otesi, of Turkey. Coming in seventh at Eurovision 2008, these crazy Turks have written some awesome stuff and have put together some even better videos. Looking to give you a show worthy of the pop-rock genre, that’s exactly what you’re going to get from both bands.

Tickets are 200 – 1400hrv. For more information call 492-0000.

Hoping to expand the musical horizons of music fans everywhere, Roger Shah has unleashed a totally new side of trance. His most recent album Openminded? includes a star cast of vocalists and electronic dance music opening up another side to the German DJ. Armin van Buuren called his 2007 track Who Will Find Me his favourite track of the year. Coming from the big-time Dutch trance producer, this is high praise indeed.

Tickets are 150hrv. For more information call 222-8040.

9/6/11 4:45:16 PM

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Chekhov Meets Stupka The Cherry Orchard (Russian drama in two acts), I Franko Ukrainian Drama Theatre (Ivana Franka 3)

Kings and Harlequins King Harlequin (drama in one act) by the Roman Viktyuk Theatre, October Palace (Instytutska 1)

24 November at 19.00 This drama by 19th century Austrian playwright Rudolf Lotar has been a successful one throughout its history, not least because of its plot. A king being replaced by the court jester is something ordinary people wouldn’t dream of taking place, while the harlequin, a buffoon in this instance, becomes mad with power. Not only for its current significance, but because Viktyuk is one of the most outstanding and extravagant directors of the day, this is a must-see. Of course, any allusion to modern day political life is simply a coincidence.

Tickets are 75 – 550hrv. For more information call 279-1582.

21 October at 19.00 One of Ukraine’s most famous actors and director of the National Franko Theatre, Bohdan Stupka, turned 70 this August. To celebrate this great achievement, Stupka is bringing his old dream of staging the Chekhov play, The Cherry Orchard, to life! Assembling some top Russian actors, the premiere will be right here in Kyiv with Stupka taking on the main character of Firs himself.

With the actor finding his way to the stage less and less these days, this is an event that shouldn’t be missed!

Tickets are 550 – 3800hrv. For more information call 279-5921.

The Best in the World Yuriy Bashmet and the Soloists of Moscow Orchestra, Palace Ukraine (V Vasylkivska 103)

10 October at 19.00

Amen to That Kazaky, Crystal Hall (Dniprovskiy Spusk 1)

22 September at 22.00 Having waited all summer, Kazaky have finally announced their first international presentation: Kazaky, A’men Tour! It’s only been a year since their first release, which caused quite a stir, making it around the world in less than six months. Now with new songs and flaming dance material, these guys are an inimitable act creating a pop sensation all their own. If you’ve never seen them in action, this is your chance to find out just why the world is talking about this little Ukrainian gem.

They will do nothing if not surprise you!

Tickets are 300 – 600hrv. For more information call 288-5069.

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Yuriy Bashmet, without any exaggeration, is the best violist the world has seen for some time, his name being synonymous with the highest level of instrumental performance. Spending his early years and taking his first lessons

It’s All About the Voice Vocal Zone (vocal jazz), National Music Academy (Architect Horodetskiy 1-3/11)

1 & 2 October at 19.00 For the fourth consecutive year, this Ukrainian a cappella sextet is organising an amazing show of vocal talent from all over the world.

For 2011, they have put together Fool Moon from Hungary, Pitsj from Norway, Dedooks from Russia along with Ukraine’s own Belback and Beauty B. Along with the harmonies of Mansound, the diversity in genres this evening range from jazz to funk, soul, folk, gospel, pop, rock and everything else in between. Don’t miss it!

Tickets are 100 – 250hrv. For more information call 050-311-4837.

in Lviv, he has been awarded with some highly prestigious honours such an Award (1993), a Sonnings Musikfond (1995), a Grammy (2008) as well as a number of state medals from Italy, France, Russia and Ukraine (to name a few). Bringing the beauty of classical music to the world, he and his chamber orchestra, Soloists of Moscow, are touring with resounding success.

Tickets are 150 – 1500hrv. For more information call 247-2316.

A Little Bit Fishy Red Snapper (UK, acid jazz), Sullivan Room (Prorizna 8)

18 September at 21.00 Returning for their fourth appearance, this concert by the British trio is one of the last among a largescale tour they have just finished in both Eastern and Western Europe.

Despite their modest acquaintance with Ukraine itself, one of their best songs, Dnipro, is as passionate as the country it is devoted to. Known for their afro-rockabilly, dub-jazz and bop-hop style, which is best demonstrated on their newest album Key, these guys have been at it for 20 years and it shows.

Tickets are 400hrv at the door and 300hrv if purchased in advance. For more information call 066-485-5555.

9/6/11 4:45:23 PM

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9/6/11 4:45:32 PM

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to their houses, it was a revolution Ukraine supported.

It was becoming a very dangerous situation very quickly, and one the Monarch knew required concessions. In one of his manifestos, Nikolai II opted to recognise Ukrainian as a separate language and recommended that the anti-Ukrainian decrees of 1863 and 1876 be banned. As a result, Ukrainian schools, magazines and newspapers opened, and Ukrainian cultural centres and political parties appeared in the largest cities of the region.

Anti-socialist Sentiment These newest developments did not stop the current revolts, and in one swift move Pyotr Stolypin instigated military field courts. Insurgents were tried within a two-day period where guilt was predetermined, and verdicts quickly reached, which often lead to execution. These decisive steps calmed the empire and gave Stolypin the opportunity to implement his reforms on a national scale. Most of his improvements were agriculturally-focused, and many historians claim that Stolypin, now Interior Minister, aimed to make those who worked the land strong and independent entrepreneurs. This, however, was something that was in direct opposition to the socialist sentiment gaining support among the entire population at the time.

The biggest obstacle he faced was the issue of communal land: members of the commune were not allowed to sell the share they worked, nor were they allowed to leave. Tying peasants’ hands so to speak and leaving little chance for development, Stolypin opened up the gates and allowed those who wanted to leave and engage in their own private farm projects the opportunity.

Unfortunately, this did not solve the problem, and simply allowed those wealthy enough to go about buying more property, leaving the poor forced to continue farming the little land they did have for domestic use. Historians all agree, however, that out of all of the regions, Ukraine most rapidly and effectively supported Stolypin’s reforms. Private farming and entrepreneurship was not new to this region, and by 1916, 50% of Ukrainians were working the land privately.

Advancement and Assassination As one would expect, the reforms had many opponents. The left-wing political assemblies were naturally against them, while the right-wing Ukrainian forces hated Stolypin for his proRussian and imperialistic views. The problem was Stolypin did not see Ukraine as a separate nation and did not value the Ukrainian language. In 1910, Stolypin forbade the creation and work of any kind of national club, organisation, or newspaper. He prohibited the publishing of all Ukrainian periodicals, the staging of patriotic plays, even the commemoration of the great

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Ukrainian poet Taras Shevchenko was banned.

Acting as a true Russian nobleman, promoting the power and will of the tsar, he refused Ukraine any political, cultural or national identity.

Promoted to Prime Minister, Stolypin’s political steps were tough and quick, and even included the dismissal of the Duma, which he replaced with his own people. Such determination did not go unnoticed, and while the new parliament consisted mostly of pro-monarchy members it did not take long before Nikolai II became wary of his new Prime Minister. Falling into disfavour with the tsar, Stolypin offered his resignation. It was declined, but the Tsar took away almost all his power leaving him politically impotent.

That same year, Pyotr Stolypin paid a visit to Kyiv.

Various documents state that his presence was needed for the official opening of a monument to Oleksandr II. By this time, tensions between the Prime Minister of Imperial Russia and the tsar were evident. One harsh example recalls Stolypin meeting Nikolai II at the train station

lages which had been reformed by Stolypin and could no longer feed themselves. “The only exemption might be the Kuban example. The land was not run by the landlord system here, which is why this area was often leading the way in terms of agricultural export. Had Stolypin really wanted to reform the villages he should have considered Kuban and left the idea of combining private land ownership and big landlords alone.”

Final Thoughts Historian Serhiy Hrabovsky also says that what Stolypin did to the Duma was unjustifiable. “He did not just dismiss the Duma, he dispersed them. Many were arrested, others were not allowed to be elected again. In their place, he put big landlords who were predominantly Russian! Other nation states were not allowed.” Eliminating the Duma as the only legal and effective institution which had any control over the government, Hrabovsky says he practically ruined the beginning of Rus-

“THE ONLY DIFFERENCE BETWEEN THE MEASURES TAKEN BY STOLYPIN AND STALIN WAS THE LATTER WENT MUCH MUCH FURTHER” in Kyiv. The tsar deliberately had not allocated space for Stolypin in his carriage, and neither was he given state transport! The day after, Russia’s Prime Minister met his fate while at the National Opera Theatre, putting an end to his life as well as the controversy between himself and the tsar.

Another Side This is a typical account of what history books might tell you about the murder of a man that still baffles the population. Modern Ukrainian historians, however, have re-evaluated Stolypin’s heady reforms, and as their findings differ significantly from the official legend promoted during the days of the Soviets, we thought it only prudent to include them here.

Leading Ukrainian historian Serhiy Hrabovsky says the myth about Pyotr Stolypin being a great and wise reformer is ridiculous. Taking a look at some of the reforms themselves, many claim Stolypin aimed to support the peasants and make them private entrepreneurs. “What he did in fact was support the big landlords, preserving the old and ineffective scheme of only a small amount of landowners owning a large amount of land. What this did was lead to extreme poverty for some and the drastic stratification of the village population.”

This, Hrabovsky says, is proved a few years later when the Bolsheviks could be seen regularly coming into Ukraine. They were taking whatever they could in order to feed the various Russian vil-

sian parliamentarianism. What’s interesting is that even though his actions brought in a new group of wealthy men, Stolypin was still criticised for his reforms!

One of the most significant things our local historian recalls about this sordid time in Russian politics were the field courts the Prime Minister implemented. They were the prototype of Stalin’s repression which means people were arrested and shot for simply reading a book or possessing a certain leaflet. “Thousands of students and innocent people were shot without any sort of investigation. The only difference between the measures taken by Stolypin and Stalin was the latter went much much further.”

One of the last things Hrabovsky comments on (painting the Russian aristocrat in the right light as far as he’s concerned) was his attitude towards Ukraine. The day before his assassination, Stoplyin was to meet with a Ukrainian delegation.

They wanted permission to put up a monument to Shevchenko. His response, like his reforms, was tough and quick: “While I’m alive, there will be no monument to Shevchenko in Kyiv!”

As a final thought, Pyotr Stolypin is often remembered for his famous quote in addressing the left-wing radicals: “You gentlemen, are in need of great upheaval, we are in need of Great Russia!” The tragedy of the situation then was that no one needed and no one cared about the common person. But it still doesn’t answer the question: who killed Pyotr Stolypin?

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Vadym Mishkoriz

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Take Me Out!

Kyiv’s Own Viller’s Abbey Once upon a time, there lived twelve monks. They came to Villers-la-Ville, Belgium, in order to establish an abbey. It took a long time, but finally a choir, a crypt, a refectory and a church was built. In their new home, the monks created their own cuisine rich in meat and fish dishes, homemade pies, sausages and snacks. They also produced the best beer anyone had ever tasted, and it became a very popular place indeed. It is this legend you will no doubt hear when you pay them a visit. Fortunately, you don’t even have to leave Kyiv, as it has its own Viller paying homage to these gourmet monks from years gone past.

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Take Me Out! Listings RESTAURANTS AMERICAN ARIZONA BBQ 25 Naberezhno Khreshchatytska st.

425-2438 Open: 08.00 – 24.00 The only American run restaurant in Kyiv, open since 1995.

Free Wifi, drinks, food, parking, satellite TV, credit cards, live music

SAM’S STEAK HOUSE 37 Zhylyanskaya st.

287 20 00 Open: 08 a.m. – 12 a.m. www.karta.ua Steak House. Grill restaurant. Breakfast.

Wide choice. 8 a.m. - 12 p.m., weekdays WI-FI

KAZBEK 30a L. Ukrainky blvd.

285-4805 Open: 11.00 - 24.00 Restaurant with original interior and traditional Tone stove for baking bread.

KUVSHYN 10 Fedorova st.

592-6363 Open: 12.00 - 24.00 Caucasian cuisine. Every dish served in its own original and unique manner.

MIMINO 10a Spasskaya st. (Podol) 417 35 45 Open: 12.00 – 00.00 www.karta.ua Authentic Georgian cuisine WI-FI

ASIAN TERRACE Mezhigirska 87 B str. +380932673630 +380443511572 Оpen: 18 00 – 06 00 Asian style, comfortable room karaoke with beauties.

PUSHISTIY SUSHI-BAR 23-a Velyka Vasylkivska st.

234-3101 Open: 12.00 ‘til the last visitor leaves Original mix of styles in the interior, fuzzy fur on the walls. 30 kinds of sushi and sashimi.

SAFFRON 3 Vorovskogo st.

569 10 10 Open: Sun – Wed: 12.00 – 00.00 Thu – Sat: 12.00 – 05.00 www.karta.ua Oriental cuisine, Karaoke-lounge WI-FI NOBU 12 Shota Rustaveli st.

246-7734 Open: 12.00 - 24.00 Sushi bar in central location.

Great decor and service, wide menu of authentic sushi.

TUBITEYKA 29/50 Tarasivska st.

287-0242 Open: 8.00 – 23.00 Asian and home made cuisine, delicious breakfasts, kalian. Oriental atmosphere – and decoration.

WI-FI

CAUCASIAN ANI 72 Chervonoarmiyska st. 4th floor 590-2565 Open: 11.00-23.00 An open show-case kitchen will let you watch the respected Chef cook traditional dishes on the chargrill for you.

HINKALI 4, Shota Rustaveli st.

234-0692 Open: 24 hours Real Caucasian culture reproduced in its best meals. Cuisine with an accent.

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EUROPEAN BACCHUS CLASS Chapaeva 2/16 (I.Franka)St. 234-6506 Open: 09.00 – till the last visitor leaves www.bacchusclass.com The one and the only Wine restaurant in Ukraine.

WI-FI 7FRIDAYS CITY-CAFE B Khmelnytskoho 29 278-1187 www.7fridays.kiev.ua Situated in the very heart of Kyiv, the 7Fridays cafe is bursting with city life while striving to preserve a homelike atmosphere. Offering a peaceful corner to forget about city rush, stop for delicious European cuisine for breakfast, business-lunch or dinner. Internet available.

WI-FI STORY CAFE 17/18 Naberezhno-Kreschatitskaya st.

467 78 97 Open: 11.00 – 00.00 www.karta.ua French, Italian & Japanese cuisine WI-FI RAZGULYAEVO 70 Stolichnoe highway (to Koncha-Zaspa) 259 17 00 Open: 11.00 – to the last client www.karta.ua Entertainment complex (restaurant, hotel, sauna, paintball) WI-FI

FRENCH COMME IL FAUT Velyka Zhytomyrska St. 2A 219-1919 Open: Daily from 11.00 - 24.00 French Brasserie style in the heard of Kiev.

Lovely and cosy summer terrace.

Come and try our new menu and summer business lunch...

CREP DE CHINE 25 Hoholivska st.

537-7070 Open: 08.00 – 23.00 A culinary expirience you won’t forget!

MEDITERRANEAN

INTERNATIONAL

OLIVERA 2A Velyka Zhytomyrska Street 219-1919 Open: 06.30 - 23.00 All day Mediterranean restaurant for Breakfast, Lunch and dinner! Try the probably best breakfast in town. Every Sunday - Family brunch from of 13.00 This coming Sunday, the 5th of June, we are having last brunch for summer, which will again come back in September.

ARENA ENTERTAINMENT 2-a Baseyna st.

492-0000 Open: 9.00 ‘til the last visitor leaves Spacious and cozy restaurant with European cuisine and micro brewery.

TEATRO RESTAURANT OPERA HOTEL 53 B. Khmelnitskogo st.

581 70 70 Open: 06.30 – 23.00 Mediterranean cuisine. Exquisite selection of the best dishes around the Mediterranean Sea Flavors & Tastes at their best!

TERRACOTTA 5-7/29 Pushkinska st.

537-4535 Open: 07.00 - 23.00 Mediterranean restaurant of superior cuisine.

Wine and cigar rooms offer the perfect touch to Terracotta’s delicious dining experience

FUSION BEEF MEAT & WINE Shota Rustaveli 11 225-0035 Open: 12.00-24.00 Meet cuisine with no ethnic equivalent. Only the best meat from top suppliers and a wide choice of wine match.

WI-FI BUDDHA-BAR KIEV 14 Kreschatik st. (near Khreshchatyk hotel) 270- 7676 Open: Mo – Wed: 13.00 – 02.00 Thu – Sat: 13.00 – 04.00 Sun: 14.00 – 02.00 www.buddhabar.com.ua Restaurant lounge-bar WI-FI MARRAKESH 24 Sagaydachnogo st. (Podol) 494 0 494 Open: Sun – Thu: 12.00 – 01.00 Fri – Sat: 12.00 – 04.00 www.karta.ua Oriental restaurant. Moroccan, French & Japanese cuisine. Hookah menu.

WI-FI MAROCANA 24 Lesi Ukrainky blvd.

254-4999 Open: 11.00 - 02.00 This popular beau monde hang-out bills itself as a fashion TV cafe.

BIER PLATZ (NEW!) Maidan Nezalezhnosti – 7 Khreshchatyk 067-407-5544 From 11.00 until the last client Delicious Czech, German and Ukrainian cuisine. 11 sorts of draft beer. 7 plasma screeens and 1 huge wall screen, offering various sports channels.

Wi-Fi B-HUSH Velyka Zhytomyrska St. 2A 11th floor, InterContinental Kyiv 219-1919 Open: Tuesday till Thursday 18.00 - 02.00 / Friday and Saturday 18.00 - 04.00 Rooftop panoramic bar - summer terrace with stunning view of Kiev. b-hush... b-cool... b-there...

GRILL ASIA RESTAURANT 5 Alla Tarasova st.

581-12-34 Open: 6:00 - 24:00 Two open kitchens, European and Asian cuisine in luxurious surroundings.

Open for breakfast, lunch and dinner.

INTERCONTINENTAL KYIV LOBBY LOUNGE BAR Velyka Zhytomyrska St. 2A 1 st floor, InterContinental Kyiv 219-1919 Open: 08.00 - 02.00 Enjoy the best coffee in town with home made pastries in a unique atmosphere. Great selection of whiskies, wine and comfort food at your choice - Lobby lounge the place to meet in Kiev.

MYKA RESTAURANT Khreshchatyk 46a 227 8943 Open: 12-24 Delicious international cuisine in the heart of Kyiv

HUNTER 147/5 Saksahanskoho st.

236-3735 Open: 12.00 - 24.00 There is no need to go hunting – just visit this special originally decorated grill-restaurant, try excellent grilled meat and fish!

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Kyiv Life Anna Volokhova and Anatoliy Semenovskiy, owners of the collection

Checking out the canvas Engaging our cameras

Olena Eskina looking as beautiful as ever

Lawyer Valentyn Zagariya and Mirich Tunch from HP Life Artist Eugene Petrov with fan from Moscow, Julia

Olha Slabkovska with a glass of wine

The Last Change ZEH On 1 September, new works

by Ukrainian artist Eugene Petrov drew people out to the Zeh Gallery in the masses. Dedicated to the ecological problems and environmental modifications that have been going on in the industrial city of Zaporizhya, this is an exhibition of current affairs if there ever was one. Contributing to its significance, the area in which Petrov focuses is one Cossack warriors often had roots. Check it out yourself until 24 September.

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The Pinchuk’s Denys Kazvan, part of the exhibit?

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Transgressive Utopia SOVIART On 1 September, the Soviart gallery in conjunction with the Spanish Embassy revealed the works of famous Spanish contemporary artist Ouka Leele. Events such as these are an excellent way to showcase the cultural and artistic likenesses between two nations. Leele’s vision of utopian trends brought together a number of interested parties, including a few officials. Those who haven’t had the chance to check it out yet, can do so until 23 September.

Eyeing the art

A reflective Ambassador of Spain, HE Jose Rodriguez Moyano

Olha Harses from the Embassy with the exhibition commissary D Manuel Romero

Volodymyr Yatsenivskiy and Vice Minister of Culture of Ukraine Tymofiy Kokhan

Heroes of the hour! Ozzy and Robert laugh as they reflect upon their massive journey!

Freddy Pullar smiling together with Masha and Katya

Giving a Shot to Charity

All Kyiv Lions, Eric Franke, Mark Wright and President Marjon Cals

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SHOOTERS This well known party venue hosted an event with a difference on 1 September, a gathering of supporters of Robert McNeil’s recent marathon fund raiser, the Mongol rally. Over 31 days Robert and co-pilot Ozzy drove 9,696 miles from Scotland to Ulanbataa in Mongolia, why? To raise money for charity of course, but also just for the heck of it no doubt! Friends gathered to hear tales and see photos of the journey, and learn the news that approximately $8,000 was made for Ukrainian charities from the mad-cap effort, to be distributed through the Kyiv Lions Club. Well done guys! What a feat!

Dave Young and Patrick O’Neil having a good time

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Kyiv Life Underwater Kyiv

Valeriy Martynovskiy and Andre Laban

MYSTETSKA ZBIRKA On 26 August, an exhibition by legendary underwater videographer and painter, Andre Laban, opened in Kyiv. As a vital member of the Jacque Cousteau team, Laban’s work both aboard the Calypso as well as underneath it is the stuff underwater dreams are made of. Having showcased an exhibition a couple of years earlier, Kyiv art-lovers are well acquainted with Laban’s work, and came out in large numbers for the opening of this next exhibition. Presented with a bottle of good Ukrainian horilka on the evening, Laban promised he would take a sip whenever he longed to be back in Ukraine, the place his father was born. If you weren’t on the guest list, you can still plunge into the depths until 25 September.

Actor and model Dmytro Osipov

Director of the Gallery Maksym Voloshyn and Vadym Popov from UkrSibBank

World famous artist Ivan Marchuk talking to Olena Ridel and Viktoria Chernetska

Senior Associate of Magisters Arseniy Milyutin and friend

Microsoft Ukraine’s Andriy Terekhov in a festive mood

Olga Zinchenko, Director of BCС, playing with the elements

Elena Kostetska, General Manager for Santen Oy, celebrating her birthday

EBA Rides the Waves ROSA VICTORIA The EBA took its members for a ride along the Dnipro on 2 September where the atmosphere and ambiance was top notch. With little wind to upset the mood, all landlubbers on board had the opportunity to do a little networking while nibbling on pizza and drowning back cocktails. There were even a few who got up to dance to the Cuban-inspired tunes coming from the jollyboat.

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Jim Bown likes to surround himself with lovely ladies

Irina Maltseva and Karen McPhee enjoying the night

Luxurious Networking

The BUCC’s beautiful Annas – Ganich and Berestian

Stunning smiles throughout the evening

Natalia Dobrovolska and Hugo Canas decide it’s time to dance!

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D’LUX The British Ukrainian Chamber of Commerce (BUCC) organised its first networking event after the holidays, and invited all its members to an evening of relaxing networking on the terrace of one of Kyiv’s most popular nightclubs. The venue offered all visitors 50% off drinks, and there was the usual business card lottery, during which some lucky attendees walked away with some very nice presents. BUCC events have a class of their own, and this one was no exception.

Colin Ross and Ronnie Halliday chatting about contruction

Chairman of the BUCC Bate Tom with Ian Baron

Bhanu Sahni (second from left) with colleagues

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Essential Kyiv Fitness Centres GOLF CENTRE Obolonska Naberezhna 20 230-9436 www.golf-center.com.ua The Golf Centre offers 36 stations, a 2-level floodlit driving range, 7-hole golf course, Golf Academy, Pro Shop and restaurant.

No membership required!

Plenty of free parking on site

Premier Palace Hotel Blvd T. Shevchenka / Pushkinska 5-7/29 537-45-00 279-87-72 Reservation: 244-12-11 info@premier-palace.com www.premier-palace.com

• Dentistry • Eye Treatment • Cosmetic Surgery • General Medical Treatment Medical treatment made easy with English speaking Doctors FREE Membership Card FREE Advice and FREE Appointment booking service +38093 583 6767 info@medicare-europe.com

Language Courses Club Olympus Alla Tarasova 5 581-1234 Cyber Gym B. Khmelnytskoho 50 465-3171 Kiev Sport Club Blvd Druzhby Narodiv 5 522-8866

Lybid Hotel Peremohy Square 1 +380 239 76 00 +380 236 63 36 reception@hotellybid.com.ua

www.hotellybid.com.ua

Premier Palace Fitness Center Blvd T. Shevchenka 5-7/29 537-453

Hotels

InterContinental Velyka Zhytomyrska Str 2A 219-1919 hotel.kiev@ihg.com http://intercontinental-kiev.com

Airlines

Ukraine International Airlines ticket office in Kiev 4, Lysenka Street (044) 581-50-50 www.flyUIA.com

Austrian Airlines Kyiv City Office Velyka Vasylkivska 9/2, Reservation: 8-800-3000-492 office.ukraine@austrian.com www.austrian.com More than 60 flights per week from 6 biggest cities in Ukraine to the whole World!

Air France-KLM Kiev, 34/33, Ivana Franka str.

490-24-90, 496-35-75 www.airfrance.ua, www.klm.ua

Airports Boryspil International Airport 490-4777 www.boryspilairport.kiev.ua

British Council Teaching Centre Skovorody 4/12 490-5600

Kyiv-Zhulyany International airport Povitroflotsky 92 242-2309/08 www.airport.kiev.ua

Educational Program LEGO Education Borysa Hmyri 6 Klovskiy Uzviz 8 Heroiv Stalingradu 18 383-5150, 383-5152, 577-2900 www.vynahidnyk.org

Beauty Salons Favorit V.I.P. Club Muzeyny 6 278-3338

Education Delta Air Lines General Sales Agent SIA "ContinAt" Chervonoarmiyska 9/2, #17 287-3595 www.delta.com Now fly Kiev-New York Non-stop

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Language school Nota Bene - Russian and Ukrainian for foreigners - Business English - German, French, Spanish, Italian 8(097) 400-9699 8(067) 738-1691 278-8036 Volodymyrska 7, #17 notabene.school@gmail.com

American Academy of Foreign Languages Dymytrova 16, #16 230-2608 A.B.C. P. Lumumby 23/35, #13 239-1091

Dnipro Hotel Khreschatyk 1/2 254-6777 254-6737

Hyatt Regency Kyiv Alla Tarasova 5 581-12-34 581-12-35 info.hrkyiv@hyatt.com www.kyiv.regency.hyatt.com

DTelite School Sahaydachnoho 20/2 417-5770 Business English Center Lesi Ukrainky 3, #114 234-0871 Greenwich Prorizna 22-b 592-7843

Center of Spanish Language and Culture Obolonska 7, 1st Floor 239-2418 www.spanish.com.ua Ez English Blvd Lesi Ukrainki 16, #18 235-5926

Radisson BLU Hotel Yaroslaviv Val 22 Reservations: 492-2200 492-2210 info.kiev@radissonblu.com www.radissonblu.com/hotel-kiev

Marriage Agencies Want to meet a lady who is looking for a man like you ?

Save your time and energy and visit www.marriagebynatali.com or call Natali personally at +38-067-232-0803.

Our reputation speaks for itself.

Recruitment

reservation@dniprohotel.kiev.ua

www.dniprohotel.kiev.ua

SMARTFOX Language school, Translation’s agency Vandy Vasylevskoi 7 502-6290 www.baziscenter.com

Diamond Recruiters Moskovska 43/11, 3rd floor, office 8 332-3100 www.diamondrecruiters.net kyiv@diamondrecruiters.net Diamond Recruiters helps you attract, retain and motivate Ukrainian and foreign talent. Our specialties include finance, administration, change management, and IT. Middle to senior management positions.

International House Vandy Vasylevskoi 7 238-9870 Oxford Klass School of English English for adults and children, Cinema club 34 Ivana Mazepa St. Kiev, 01015, Ukraine 594-10-64 594-10-62

Translation Services 100 MOV Nahirna 24/1 489-5856 Alliance-profi Mechnikova 6, #33 235-6643, 592-4588 On Time Translation Agency Maiakovskoho Pr 10, 2nd floor 228 02 91 www.ontime.in.ua Anakonda-translate 529-3302

Internet Cafes Bunker Artema 11-a 272-4860 Cyber Cafe Prorizna 21 278-0548 Orki Khmelnitskoho 29/2 228-1187

Medical Centers

Opera Hotel B. Khmelnitskoho 53 581-70-70 537-73-73 reservations@opera-hotel.com www.opera-hotel.com

American Medical Centers Emergency Phone: +38 (044) 490 7600 Berdychivska, 1 +38 (044) 490 7600 +38 (044) 490 7600 patientservices@amc.com.ua

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dress shouted at her friend across the car park. Another girl seemed to stumble and break her heel. Bride Number 3 came into view, flowers in one hand and her new husband in the other. She got into a vintage Mercedes, which pulled out in front of a Lada, the driver of which went mad and started honking his horn and shouting. Bride Number 4 emerged, and I immediately pictured this week’s What’s What being called Four Brides and a Car Park. She had bright red hair and towered over her husband, who seemed like a prop. They posed for photos in the clogged car park, as a wind kicked up dust. The photographer noticed that Bride Number 3 was in the background, so ushered her to the side, whereupon a big yellow bus became the background. A drunk guy made his way across the car park, hardly able to walk.

Bride Number 2's husband turned up, and she started gesturing angrily at him. Bride Number 5 then got out of an old black car, which blocked a taxi. The dogs started barking. A girl near the ice cream freezer fell over.

The bus driver leaned out of his window and yelled at a limousine doing a seven-point turn to get round a sharp corner. The stumbling drunk started shouting at a tree. Two brides snarled at each other as they crossed paths. A kid kicked a football into a group of bridesmaids posing for photos. In the chaos, an Englishman got up, quietly gathered his bags and left. As he did so, he gave them all a foreigner stare.

Dear Stephen, I recently met a girl in one of Kyiv’s night clubs, and after spending some time with her, she agreed to come home with me. We had wild and passionate sex, which was amazing, but a weeks later I had a burning sensation while urinating. I am from the UK where women demand the use of condoms, and so I was at a bit of a loss when this girl didn’t do so. I’m not used to being the one to broach the subject, and I was worried how she would take it. So we didn’t use one. I’ve been to the clinic and, yes, I have an infection that can only be described as anti-social. Now I am worried about more serious diseases. Do you have any advice? – Adrian, 32 Dear Adrian, You seem to have picked up one of Ukraine’s most popular souvenirs, and your passport has well and truly been stamped. The good women of Ukraine are giving in many respects, and I am not at all surprised that you would want to reciprocate that giving. But as someone once said, “Give and you shall receive” and unfortunately that applies here. Having received, you understandably now want to know what to do. I can only offer you some non-clinical advice.

Firslty, adopt a different name, because if Adrian really is your real name, you’ve just told every young English-speaking female in Kyiv. Secondly, tell your regular partner, if you have one. This sounds like relationship suicide, but honesty is the best policy in this respect, and she may even respect you for doing so. And you're going to have to explain the antibiotics and why you're avoiding sex. Finally, use a condom! You' an adult! You don't need to be told what to do. With AIDS rates as high as they are in Ukraine, it's suicide not to!

Yours sincerely, Stephen

The European Union The usually-spineless 27-nation trading bloc has finally put its foot down and told Ukraine that they can forget any trade deal if the current administration doesn’t end the ridiculous ‘show trials’ of opposition leaders. Given that the country needs this deal, let’s hope the President sees sense. If not, his 5-year European-leaning strategy will soon need revisiting.

Flowers for Teachers As students go back, it seems no-one really understands why they still give flowers to teachers. It appears to be a relic from the old days, to curry favour in a hope for better marks. Time should have forgotten this out-dated practice, but it hasn’t, and that’s no bad thing – giving teachers flowers is quite a cool little Ukrainian foible.

What’s Hot

S

ince I arrived here I’ve been getting what I call the foreigner stare. It's a look Ukrainians give foreigners – a cross between bemused and amused. Translated, it seems to mean, “you’re mad.”

Going home last Saturday afternoon, I got that look at the bus stop, and on the bus.

But I didn't mind – the previous night had involved salsa, sambuca and a 4am finish, all of which had done me no favours. As the marshrutka I was on approached Feofania Park, I knew I needed some sugar. I decided the park would be the perfect place to take a seat, have a caffeinated soft drink and watch the world go by.

As we got near, I saw there were limousines lining the road, and a bride and groom walking towards us, followed by a photographer and a wedding party. The marshrutka pulled in and we unloaded. As I sat down to a Coke and a smoke I got the usual foreigner stare. The table next to me was full of young men and women, in sharp shiny suits and silky dresses. There were another two or three limousines in the car park, and other cars had flower garlands, ribbons and interlinked rings on the roof. I’m a visitor to these shores so it was all fascinating.

And it rapidly became more so. Within a minute came Bride Number 2, wearing a white leather arm-band from wrist to elbow.

A pack of stray dogs walked past, and a bus started revving. A girl in a skimpy black

A Last Summer Picnic Having swum in a local lake this weekend, I can testify to decreasing temperatures, but there is still enough time to get a few grills and picnics in before winter, and many Kyivites are making the most of it.

Trout Pouts Cosmetic surgery is a controversial area, especially when it comes to breast enhancement. But one thing that is guaranteed to make a woman look ridiculous is lips that look like two slabs of raw steak. Despite this universal truth, the women of Kyiv seem to have read somewhere that its cool, and are busy pumping and plumping.

Annoying Anthems Ednaimosya, which translates as Uniting, the rather exhuberant and uplifting song that has been commandeered by the counter-protestors on Khreshchatyk. It's a good song, but not after a million airings.

If we hear it once more there's going to be a murder committed. We've already bought the rocket launcher and we're in perfect position.

Mullets It looks like you’ve just killed a small furry-tailed animal, skinned it and worn it as a hat. They’ve never been cool, and they never will be.

What’s Not

What’s Wrong

What’s What

All Things Considered

If you have a question about life, work or relationships in Kyiv please write to stephen@whatson-kiev.com

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