What's On Issue 36

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02.10.2012 17:14:59

THE FEEL GOOD TRAVEL MAGAZINE

READ BY AN AVERAGE OF 235,000 UIA PASSENGERS EVERY MONTH. THE IDEAL PLACE TO ADVERTISE YOUR COMPANY, PRODUCT, OR SERVICE!

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What’s Up Another New Record For Kyiv

Kyiv claims another world record, albeit a strange one: for the most people assembled to partake in morning exercises! The incredible event took place at Obolonska Naberezhna last weekend, with a head count of more than 10,000! Apparently, the Guinness Book of World Records was on hand, and verified that this was indeed a record.

The previous record was set in Mexico, with a paltry 8,000 participants.

Our own Yana Vasylenko was in attendance, and says exercising with so many thousands of people was a thrilling experience! What’s more, each and every participant registered on the day will get their very own certificate, stating that they contributed to the recordmaking event.

Real Life Ukrainian Anime Character

First there was the sensation of the Ukrainian Barbie – a 21-year-old who transformed herself into a real life doll through plastic surgery – and now our very own Anime character is hitting the news around the world. 19-year-old Anastasiya Shpagina has become an Internet sensation almost overnight, what with photos and videos of her transformed into “Fukkacumi”, her Anime alter-ego.

Taking the Japanese animation art form as her inspiration, Anastasiya spends hours every day applying makeup to her face, bringing about the startling transformation. And according to reports in the press, she’s shrunk down to an incredible 38 kilogrammes to give herself the narrow waist normally ascribed to Anime characters.

If you want to see photos and videos of Fukkacumi (sorry, we just had to say that again), then you can find her on Facebook, where you’ll see she already has 7,309 likes!

Ukrainian Football Kicks Off

Ukrainian football has been hitting international news lately, what with resignations being given and crazed fans strangling referees.

First up – Oleh Blohkin, Ukraine’s national team head coach and standout striker for Dynamo Kyiv in his own time, has apparently resigned from his position as national manager. No one seems to know why, and if they do they aren’t saying. All they will say is that he’s sticking around for the next two world qualifiers against Moldova and Montenegro this month, and then he’s moving on to concentrate his efforts on FC Dynamo Kyiv, signing a four-year contract with the team.

The Ukrainian Football Federation president, Anatoliy Konkov, told reporters earlier this week that “all our efforts were aimed at creating the best conditions for the national side. And this development surprised and upset us.” It surprised us too, and to be honest, puts a little wrench in the works for the Ukrainian team, especially since 1. Ukraine has been lumped in with a “tricky world cup group” that includes England and Poland, and 2. Their good luck Shevchenko charm has moved on from football to politics; an interesting move in and of itself.

The second football story we can’t help but write about this week involves a bit of a nutcase, or football fan (sometimes they are one in the same), who became a little overenthusiastic at the Chernomorets Odesa vs Metalist Kharkiv game last weekend. Apparently, the guy (a

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Weirdest Museum Ever?

We all know Kyiv is an ancient city. Ironically, its water utility system is also pretty ancient, what with the minimum 2-week hot water rations everyone in the city is treated to every summer.

Nonetheless, the KyivVodoKanal is celebrating its 140th anniversary this year, which means a number of festivities for Kyiv residents to enjoy.

So far, there is a plumber competition planned, where the goal is to demonstrate mastery at repairing various water systems (if you’ve lived in Kyiv for any amount of time, you’re probably already familiar with the amazing ‘speed’ at which these boys work), as well as a number of international conferences. Among the biggest and best events, however, is the opening of a fabulously unique institution – Ukraine’s first ever Sewer System Museum.

Found at Kharkivske Shosse 50a, the museum will be presenting pipes, pumps, plungers and more – all things plumbing-related and found in Kyiv households. Of all the items on display, the pick of the litter has to be an almost 200year old wooden pipe. Make sure you get on down today and feast your eyes on a piece of Kyiv sewage history!

Chornomorets fan) didn’t agree with the corner kick awarded to Metalist, and thought it would be a good idea to run onto the pitch, grab the referee by the throat while pushing backwards.

The cops jumped on the loony wearing a purple shirt (see footage here: www.youtube.com/watch?v=mI7nBcQIV5Q), which seemed to calm him down. They even gave him back his hat, which had fallen during the kerfuffle. Then, he seemed to tire of being manhandled and started to resist again. It took five guys to get him through the tunnel so that play could resume. After all the commotion, the game ended 1-1.

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This Week in History Journalists Protest While Akhmetov Gets Involved Around the North Pole in 60 Days

A Ukrainian Russian crew, on expedition to the North Pole, has set three world records in sailing recently. The first is in speed – theirs is apparently the fastest round the world trip, including the Arctic. The second is in latitude – no ship has reportedly made it this high or this near the Arctic before. And the third is for the number of around-the-world trips made by one crew in one year, which in this case, totals two.

The trip both started and finished in the Greenlandic town of Qaqortoq, and took an incredible 60 days! Sailing through all of the time zones, the 29.5-metre yacht carried just seven sailors – four Russians and three Ukrainians.

It’s nice to see that people from these two countries can be friends. Perhaps sailing on a boat through unchartered territory is something our warring parliamentarians should try – the possibilities are endless…

Tymoshenko Speaks Out From Prison

Former Prime Minister, Yulia Tymoshenko, has managed to get a message to the Ukrainian people from inside prison via her lawyer, Serhiy Vlasenko. Apparently recorded on Vlasenko’s mobile phone, with a big guard standing in the way most of the time, Tymoshenko berates Yanukovych’s government as the “mafia”.

“Today, unfortunately, the whole country lives under a criminal authority,” she says in the two-minute clip posted on YouTube. “Every person can feel that the law is being trampled, that people are completely destitute. And here I feel all this on my own fate, my own life.”

As the guard stands between her and the camera, telling Vlasenko to stop filming, she continues: “Everything that is written in the law regarding human rights means nothing to Yanukovych’s mafia. The only things that mean anything to them are enrichment, corruption and everything else that they made for themselves in Ukraine.”

Heaven knows what Yanukovych thinks of the video, or the Ukrainian people for that matter, but there’s something strangely depressing and desperate about it. Maybe not a strong move on Tymoshenko’s part, but perhaps the strongest she can manage under the circumstances.

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After his flying visit to the US last week, it looked as though President Yanukovych had kyboshed the defamation bill that makes slander a criminal act. However, now it looks as though he’s only asked that the bill be reworded.

Word got out that this process was due to take place at the Verkhovna Rada on Monday, 1 October, which brought a flood of journalists to the Ukrainian parliament, placardsa-plenty. Most of the placards, somewhat cleverly, were blank, indicating the silencing effect the bill, should it be signed into law, would have on journalism in the country.

It seems that the country’s richest oligarch, Rinat Akhmetov, is also not happy with the proposed bill, as the very same day he offered the services of his Foundation for Effective Governance to bring together experts for consultation.

“I’m proposing to use the capabilities of the Foundation for Effective Governance to attract the best experts, Ukrainian and international, in order to systematically study world practises, the legislation of other countries, organise transparent discussions, and work out the best option for our country,” his very own press service quoted him as saying. In the same statement, Akhmetov said Ukraine “needs a decision that will protect the freedom of speech, defend journalists, and protect ordinary people from slander.” Well, let’s hope that his foundation finds that almost all countries in the free world leave slander cases to the civil courts. The current bill, which makes slander punishable by up to five years in prison and hefty fines would make it impossible for any journalist to write any form of critical story on any individual. Of course, this is what our illustrious parliamentarians hope for, but it would mean the death of investigative journalism in Ukraine.

9 October 1596

The Ruthenian Church of Rus breaks relations with the Patriarch of Constantinople and begins communion with the Pope of Rome. This relationship becomes what is recognised as the Ukrainian Greek-Catholic Church, which conducts its orthodox ceremonies and worships in Ukrainian but acknowledges the Pope as the head of the Church.

11 October 1931

The USSR completely eliminates private trading. This political move is often considered one of the major forces behind the genocide in Ukraine over 1932-33.

10 October 1932

The Zaporizhzhya Dniprovska Hydropower station begins operations. Requiring the demolition of hundreds of villages and thousands of metres of land for construction, it is one of the most ambitious projects by the Soviets and kindles Ukrainian industrialisation.

10 October 1990

Kyiv students go on a hunger strike, called the Granite Revolution, over Ukraine’s independence. It lasts until 17 October.

11 October 2011

Rodion Kireyev, a Pechersk District Court judge, makes his ruling in the case against Yulia Tymoshenko and the “gas deal” – 7 years imprisonment and a fine of $188 million.

Kyiv in the TOP-10 of Capital Cities with Most Expensive Hotels

This should come as little surprise to anyone who has ever stayed in Kyiv hotels before – they may be nice, but they sure ain’t cheap.

The claim comes from www.hotel.info – a free reservation service, and puts Kyiv in 8th place among all European capital cities. As tradition dictates (which will also come as little surprise to anyone), Moscow is often at the top, with London and various Scandinavian capitals not far behind. Surprisingly, Kyiv comes ahead of both Paris and Amsterdam.

When it comes to world leaders in the most-expensive-hotels category, can you guess which city takes the top prize? That’s right, it’s New York!

02.10.2012 18:28:07

Kateryna Kyselyova

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Ukraine Culture

The Man Behind

the Curtain R

obert McKee is one of the bestknown screenwriter lecturers in the world. He began teaching screenwriting in 1983, at the School of Cinema-Television at the University of Southern California, with an approach that was original and out-of-the-box. So outof-the-box, in fact, that a year later he abandoned the school setting and took his seminar on the road, offering a three-day intensive course to anyone interested in learning to write a good story.

Rather than concentrating on the plot or dialogues as the basis of the script, McKee explains the nature of the narration itself – in other words, he teaches how to tell a story. His long resume shows he is up to the task too. If we were to judge the teacher by the achievements of his students, McKee is a real force to be reckoned with – his students have won 49 Oscars, 168 Emmy Awards, 21 prizes from the Writers Guild of America, and 17 prizes from the Directors Guild of America.

Robert McKee stands behind some of the biggest screen works of our time: Star Wars, the Lord of the Rings, X Men, Sex in the City, Desperate Housewives, Million Dollar Baby, A Beautiful Mind and many others. All of these brilliant movies and TV shows have been written, co-written, produced, or directed by his students. Here in Kyiv this week to provide guidance, insight and his own personal experience to those in the world of cinema, television and journalism, What’s On sits down with the man behind the Story Seminar.

The Nuts and Bolts

Robert McKee started acting in the theatre as a child, later moving on to earn a bachelor’s degree in English literature and a master’s in theatre arts. During his studies, Robert acted in and produced theatre productions in Broadway and London.

In the late 70s, he switched his focus to movies and there he finally found his calling – bringing out the natural storyteller in his students. The fact that McKee has not had a single script of his own made into a film does not embarrass the master of story-telling. He says he does what he loves and the numerous prestigious awards won by his students prove he made the right choice.

Here in Kyiv next week, the guru’s Story Seminar is quite expensive to attend – an entrance ticket costs 7,000hrv for the fourday intensive course. But if you’re planning a hit career in blockbuster screenwriting, it’s a bargain… Or, you could just read What’s On’s exclusive interview with the master storyteller, for a quick overview of his extremely successful process.

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This Week

Live Music

5–11 October 2012

Darwin’s Evolution

Vlad Darwin (UA, pop), Freedom Concert Hall (Frunze 134)

11 October at 19.30

Young Ukrainian talent Vlad Darwin, product of Fabryka Zirok II reality TV talent show, turned up on the Ukrainian music scene back in 2008, and within the next couple of years had already produced a video, an album – Put Otkryt (The Road is Open), and a Ukrainian concert tour. In addition to this growing list of accolades, Vlad is also a great songwriter who has come up with songs for Natalya Mohilevska, Amsterdam, Real O and many other Ukrainian songsters. This evening, he invites his fans out to a presentation of his new show, Meaning of Life, which tells the story of his evolution since that fated appearance in 2008.

Tickets are 100 – 200hrv. For more information call 468-4068.

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Tuesday

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6

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RiffMaster (rock) Time: 22.00 Admission: 50hrv Art Club 44 (Khreshchatyk 44b) 279-4137

Nota G (cover band) Time: 19.00 Admission: call and check Porter (Konstantynivska 2a) 425-0281

Maxi Jam (cover bands) Time: 21.00 Admission: call and check Porter (Konstantynivska 2a) 425-0281

Lucky Band (cover band) Time: 19.00 Admission: call and check Porter (Konstantynivska 2a) 425-0281

Positive Band (cover band) Time: 21.30 Admission: call and check Porter (Mishuhy 3a) 536-9979

Yanka Kozyr (ethno rock) Time: 19.00 Admission: call and check Porter (Mishuhy 3a) 536-9979

Nota G (cover band) Time: 21.30 Admission: call and check Porter (Mishuhy 3a) 536-9979

Mamma Mia (cover band) Time: 22.00 Admission: 50hrv Art Club 44 (Khreshchatyk 44b) 279-4137

Friday

M ad Heads XL, Red Rocks (rockabilly, cover bands) Time: 22.00 Admission: 75hrv Docker’s ABC (KhreshchatykZankovetskoi 15/4) 278-1717

Saturday

Banderas Blues Band, Tex-Mex Co (blues, cover band) Time: 22.00 Admission: 75hrv Docker’s ABC (KhreshchatykZankovetskoi 15/4) 278-1717

Red Cardell, Dyadya Vasya (cover bands) Time: 22.00 Admission: 100hrv Docker Pub (Bohatyrska 25) 451-8528

Mad Heads XL, More Khuana (rockabilly, cover band) Time: 22.00 Admission: 100hrv Docker Pub (Bohatyrska 25) 451-8528

Real Band (cover band) Time: 21.00 Admission: free Star Pub (Popudenka 1a) 292-2900

Riffs (cover band) Time: 21.00 Admission: free Star Pub (Popudenka 1a) 292-2900

Sunday

S oyuz 44 (jazz) Time: 22.00 Admission: free Art Club 44 (Khreshchatyk 44b) 279-4137 Larus (cover band) Time: 22.00 Admission: free Docker’s ABC (KhreshchatykZankovetskoi 15/4) 278-1717 Segodnya Nochyu, Animals’ Session (cover band) Time: 22.00 Admission: call for details Docker Pub (Bohatyrska 25) 451-8528

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Monday Street Band (cover band) Time: 21.00 Admission: call and check Porter (Konstantynivska 2a) 425-0281 Serhiy Suprun (cover band) Time: 19.00 Admission: call and check Porter (Mishuhy 3a) 536-9979 Rock Funk Fest (funk) Time: 22.00 Admission: free Art Club 44 (Khreshchatyk 44b) 279-4137 Ruky v Bryuky (cover band) Time: 22.00 Admission: free Docker’s ABC (KhreshchatykZankovetskoi 15/4) 278-1717 Eastern Express (cover band) Time: 21.30 Admission: free Docker Pub (Bohatyrska 25) 451-8528 Staff Party (cover bands) Time: 21.00 Admission: free Route 66 (Zhylyanska 87/30) 239-3865

John Lennon Acoustic Party (cover bands) Time: 22.00 Admission: 50hrv Art Club 44 (Khreshchatyk 44b) 279-4137 April (John Lennon cover party) Time: 22.00 Admission: 20hrv Docker’s ABC (KhreshchatykZankovetskoi 15/4) 278-1717 Sindy Cat (cover band) Time: 21.00 Admission: call and check Porter (Konstantynivska 2a) 425-0281 Jack London (cover band) Time: 19.00 Admission: call and check Porter (Mishuhy 3a) 536-9979 Partyzanski Vytivky (cover band) Time: 21.30 Admission: free Docker Pub (Bohatyrska 25) 451-8528

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Wednesday Cadillac Records (cover bands) Time: 22.00 Admission: free Art Club 44 (Khreshchatyk 44b) 279-4137

Wild Peoples (cover band) Time: 21.00 Admission: call and check Porter (Konstantynivska 2a) 425-0281

Wunderkinds (cover band) Time: 21.30 Admission: call and check Porter (Mishuhy 3a) 536-9979

Jean Tonic Duet (cover band) Time: 19.00 Admission: call and check Porter (Mishuhy 3a) 536-9979

R adiohead Cover Party (cover bands) Time: 22.00 Admission: 30hrv Art Club 44 (Khreshchatyk 44b) 279-4137

The Magma (cover band) Time: 22.00 Admission: 30hrv Docker’s ABC (KhreshchatykZankovetskoi 15/4) 278-1717

Crazy Train (cover band) Time: 22.00 Admission: 30hrv Docker’s ABC (KhreshchatykZankovetskoi 15/4) 278-1717

Rocking Wolves (cover band) Time: 21.30 Admission: free Docker Pub (Bohatyrska 25) 451-8528 More Khuana (cover band) Time: 21.00 Admission: free Star Pub (Popudenka 1a) 292-2900

Ruky v Bryuky (cover band) Time: 21.30 Admission: free Docker Pub (Bohatyrska 25) 451-8528 High Score (cover band) Time: 21.00 Admission: free Star Pub (Popudenka 1a) 292-2900

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Thursday Ivan Blues (cover band) Time: 21.00 Admission: call and check Porter (Konstantynivska 2a) 425-0281

T urnaround (cover band) Time: 21.00 Admission: free Route 66 (Zhylyanska 87/30) 239-3865

Georgian Talents

Mgzavrebi (Georgia, pop-rock), Tolstoy Club (V Vasylkivska 19)

6 October at 22.00

Last year, Georgian band Mgzavrebi introduced themselves to the Ukrainian public with a video called Qari Qris and a rockin’ concert, all backed by our very own TNMK. Sharing the stage with huge names in the music world since, such as Shakira, Placido Domingo, Buena Vista Social Club and Andrea Bocelli, these 12 talented musicians are back in the capital, with one goal and one goal only – to be the best in Georgian music. You’ll have to come along tonight to see if they’ve succeeded.

Tickets are 250hrv. For more information call 200-3838. : What's On Recommended

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Theatre & Classical Music

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5–11 October 2012

Literature + Music + Art = Performance

Skladnosuryadni (performance art), Mystetsky Arsenal (Lavrska 10-12)

5, 6 & 7 October at 21.00

Three of Ukraine’s most well-known writers, Yuriy Andrukhovych, Serhiy Zhadan and Taras Prokhasko, gather to support the notion that modern literature in and of itself can be a spectacular show! In this most recent project, presented under the Book Arsenal umbrella, Taras Prokhasko unites his own writing with ancient Ukrainian folk songs, classical music and video-art for his performance entitled, Mirror; Yuriy Andrukhovych along with the Polish-Swiss band Karbido present Absent – a musical/poetic performance with a mystic and intriguing plot; while Serhiy Zhadan and the ska band Sobaky v Kosmosi (Dogs in Space) together perform sarcastic and life-affirming songs, in which almost everyone will recognise the stories of local, corrupt officials, city majors and deputies along with other political “crap”. Don’t miss it!

Tickets are 60 – 100hrv. For more information visit www.artarsenal.in.ua

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Friday Kyiv Music Fest International Festival Time: 19.00 National Philharmonic of Ukraine (Volodymyrskiy Uzviz 2) 278-1697 The Barber of Seville Opera in 3 acts Time: 19.00 National Opera Theatre of Ukraine (Volodymyrska 50) 279-1169 The Gypsy Baron Operetta in 3 acts Time: 19.00 Kyiv Operetta (V Vasylkivska 53/3) 287-6257 Little Marital Crimes Play in 2 acts Time: 19.00 I Franko Ukrainian Drama Theatre (I Franka 3) 279-5921 L ove!Love!Love! by the Tbilisi Theatre Play in 2 acts Time: 19.00 Molody Theatre (Prorizna 17) 278-7392 The Highest Good in the World Play in 2 acts Time: 19.00 Drama & Comedy Theatre on the Dnipro (Brovarskiy Pr 25) 517-1955 The Single Lady Musical fairytale Time: 19.00 Suzirya Theatre (Yaroslaviv Val 16) 212-4188 Push Up Play in 2 acts Time: 19.00 Pechersk Theatre (Shovkovychna 3) 253-6550

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Saturday Ky iv Music Fest International Festival Time: 19.00 National Philharmonic of Ukraine (Volodymyrskiy Uzviz 2) 278-1697 Aida Opera in Italian in 3 acts Time: 19.00 National Opera Theatre of Ukraine (Volodymyrska 50) 279-1169

An Evening of Bach Featuring Lavryenova (mezzosoprano), Kharechko (organ) Time: 19.30 National House of Organ and Chamber Music (V Vasylkivska 77) 528-3186 An Evening of Organ Music Featuring Balakhovska (organ) Works by Bach, Bortniansky, Kolessa Time: 19.30 National House of Organ and Chamber Music (V Vasylkivska 77) 528-3186 Marriage An incredible event in 2 acts Time: 19.00 I Franko Ukrainian Drama Theatre (I Franka 3) 279-5921 Empty Trash Crazy comedy in 2 acts Time: 19.00 Molody Theatre (Prorizna 17) 278-7392 The Audience is not Allowed!

Play in 2 acts Time: 19.00 Drama & Comedy Theatre on the Dnipro (Brovarskiy Pr 25) 517-1955 Holly Night Play in 2 acts Time: 19.00 Pechersk Theatre (Shovkovychna 3) 253-6550

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Sunday An Evening of Ukrainian Classical and Folk Music Featuring Ivanenko (soprano) Time: 19.00 National Philharmonic of Ukraine (Volodymyrskiy Uzviz 2) 278-1697 Swan Lake Ballet in 3 acts Time: 19.00 National Opera Theatre of Ukraine (Volodymyrska 50) 279-1169 Chasing Two Hares Operetta in 2 acts Time: 19.00 Kyiv Operetta (V Vasylkivska 53/3) 287-2630 Shveik A soldier’s adventure in 2 acts Time: 19.00 I. Franko Ukrainian Drama Theatre (I Franka 3) 279-5921 Quartet for Two Comedy in 2 acts Time: 19.00 Molody Theatre (Prorizna 17) 278-7392

The Days Fly By When You Whistle Comic drama about love Time: 15.00 The Return of the Prodigal Father Play in 2 acts Time: 19.00 Drama & Comedy Theatre on the Dnipro (Brovarskiy Pr 25) 517-1955 Blue Bird Musical fairytale Time: 12.00 Suzirya Theatre (Yaroslaviv Val 16) 212-4188 A n Evening of Indian Dance and Flamenco Time: 18.00 House of Artist (Artema 1-5) 272-0547

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Monday A n Evening of Ukrainian Instrumental and Vocal Music Featuring Nina Matviyenko (vocal), Enver Izmaylov (guitar), Kobza Original Ensemble Time: 19.00 National Philharmonic of Ukraine (Volodymyrskiy Uzviz 2) 278-1697 Commemorating Cesar Franc Featuring Kalynovska (organ) Works by Vierne, Messiaen, Tournemire Time: 19.30 National House of Organ and Chamber Music (V Vasylkivska 77) 528-3186

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Tuesday An Evening of Classical Music Featuring soloists of the National Academic Orchestra of Folk Instruments Time: 19.00 National Philharmonic of Ukraine (Volodymyrskiy Uzviz 2) 278-1697 Silva Operetta in 2 acts Time: 19.00 Kyiv Operetta (V Vasylkivska 53/3) 287-6257

The Kaudasheva Family Comedy in 2 acts Time: 19.00 I Franko Ukrainian Drama Theatre (I Franka 3) 279-5921 Lyuboff!

Ironical comedy in 2 acts Time: 19.00 Molody Theatre (Prorizna 17) 278-7392 Voytsek. A Carnival of Flesh Play in 1 act Time: 19.00 Drama & Comedy Theatre on the Dnipro (Brovarskiy Pr 25) 517-1955

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Wednesday An Evening of Violin and Piano Music Featuring Oleh Krysa (violin, US), Tetyana Chekina (piano, US) Works by Brahms, Stankovych, Ravel, Shostakovich Time: 19.00 National Philharmonic of Ukraine (Volodymyrskiy Uzviz 2) 278-1697 Bayadera Operetta in 2 acts Time: 19.00 Kyiv Operetta (V Vasylkivska 53/3) 287-6257 An Evening of Vocal Music Featuring Myroslava Solovyanenko (soprano), Bilych (violin), Voytekh (piano), Balakhovska (organ) Time: 19.30 National House of Organ and Chamber Music (V Vasylkivska 77) 528-3186

Uncle Vanya Scenes of rural life in 2 acts Time: 19.00 Molody Theatre (Prorizna 17) 278-7392 Mein Kampf/Socks in the Coffee-maker Farce in 2 acts Time: 19.00 Drama & Comedy Theatre on the Dnipro (Brovarskiy Pr 25) 517-1955

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Thursday A n Evening of Violin Music Featuring Oleh Krysa (violin, US), Bohdan Krysa (violin, US), National Academic Symphony Orchestra of Ukraine Time: 19.00 National Philharmonic of Ukraine (Volodymyrskiy Uzviz 2) 278-1697

Mr X Operetta in 2 acts Time: 19.00 Kyiv Operetta (V Vasylkivska 53/3) 287-6257

Little Devil Tragic farce in 2 acts Time: 19.00 Drama & Comedy Theatre on the Dnipro (Brovarskiy Pr 25) 517-1955

An Evening of Classical Music Featuring Ravisan Trio, Bubnova (organ) Time: 19.30 National House of Organ and Chamber Music (V Vasylkivska 77) 528-3186

Woman in the Sand Parable Time: 19.00 Suzirya Theatre (Yaroslaviv Val 16) 212-4188

The Imaginary Invalid Comedy in 3 acts Time: 19.00 L Ukrainka Russian Drama Theatre (B Khmelnytskoho 5) 234-4223 My Dear Pamela Criminal comedy in 2 acts Time: 19.00 Molody Theatre (Prorizna 17) 278-7392

At the Whim of Paganini

Caprices (ballet in 2 acts), National Opera Theatre of Ukraine (Volodymyrska 50)

9 October at 19.00

Niccolo Paganini was so exceptionally talented, some have accused him of being the devil himself! Even today, many of his compositions are of such complexity, only the most ambitious of musicians attempt to tackle them. Staged to the music of 24 Capriccio by the inimitable composer, with interpretations by Ukrainian composer Myroslav Skoryk, the ballet Caprices is marked with interesting and unique modern trends. Come and witness an awakening of the old Italian musical master – in dance – this evening!

Tickets are 40 – 400hrv. For more information call 279-1169.

Sentimental Cruise Play in 2 acts Time: 19.00 The Single Lady Chamber scene Time: 19.00 I Franko Ukrainian Drama Theatre (I Franka 3) 279-5921 In the Captivity of Passions Drama in 1 act Time: 19.00 Oleksandr Vertynskiy.

Host of the Ball Mono-spectacle Time: 20.00 L Ukrainka Russian Drama Theatre (B Khmelnytskoho 5) 234-4223 : What's On Recommended

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This Week Nightlife

5–11 October 2012

Omar’s a Star

Omar Rodriguez Lopez Group (Puerto Rico, instrumental), Green Theatre (Parkovaya Doroga 2)

7 October at 19.00

Omar Lopez is a multi-instrumentalist, producer, writer, actor and film director, originally from Puerto Rico. His background is as impressive as his expansive moniker, being as he is composer, guitarist and producer for progressive rock group, The Mars Volta, and former bassist and guitarist of dub reggae band, De Facto, as well as post-hardcore outfit, At the Drive-In. Tickets are 300hrv. For more information call 067-155-2255.

XXL with DJs Ira Champion and Kesha Time: 23.00 Admission: call for details Karusel (Golosiivskaya 87-6) 259-0001 Feminist Party with DJs Marka Pola, Anya Arfeeva, Natasha Rostova, Sonya, and more Time: 22.00 Admission: before 23.30 L-30hrv, G-40hrv, after L-50hrv, G-60hrv Forsage (Harmatna 51a) 232-6780

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Friday Friday Night Vixens Time: 21.00 Admission: before 00.00 L-Free, G-100hrv, after L-100hrv, G-100hrv Sorry Babushka 486-0300 Sommelier with DJs Okain (Germany), Westboy, and Guy Richard Time: 22.00 Admission: call for details Boom Boom Room (Shevchenko 33) 095-588-8989 Sweet Ladies Night with DJs Oliver Varnce, Nickolai Nick, and Ewsei Time: 22.00 Admission: before 00.00 L-free, G-50hrv, after L-30hrv, G-50hrv Noblesse (V Vasylkivska 3) 097-282-6760 Girls’ Bachelorette Party with DJs Neo, Robot, and Nikz Lorenz Time: 22.00 Admission: before 00.00 L-free, G-30hrv, after L-25hrv, G-50hrv Prime (Nauki 8) 524-2209 R ave On with DJs Alex Bau (Germany), Spieler, and Mitchell Time: 22.00 Admission: before 23.30 L-40hrv, G-50hrv, after L-20hrv, G-25hrv Saxon (Trutenko 4) 257-4070

DJs Cape Cod, Fozz, Koloah, and Delight Time: 23.00 Admission: call for details Xlib (Frunze 12) 417-3233 World Smile Day Time: 21.00 Admission: L-50hrv, G-100hrv Shooters (Moskovska 22) 254-2024 Goldy Rise Project Time: 22.00 Admission: call for details Sky Bar (V Vasylkivska 5) 223-8888 Lawyer Day with DJs Alfred & Sax, Dima Ownage, and Sax Time: 22.00 Admission: call for details Crystal Hall (Dniprovskiy Spusk 1) 702-7862 Party Night with Resident DJ Zeekrey and MC Pavlik Morozov Time: 21.00 Admission: L-free, G-50hrv Sakhar Party Bar (Dekabrystov 12/37) 563-9662

S .K.A.I concert with DJs Goldy Rise and Rockstar Time: 23.00 Admission: call for details Sky Bar (V Vasylkivska 5) 223-8888

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Saturday Show Mafia with DJ Snach Time: 21.00 Admission: L-100hrv, G-100hrv Sorry Babushka 486-0300 Lux Party Time: 23.00 Admission: L-free, G-100hrv Karusel (Golosiivskaya 87-6) 259-0001 Hy pe Me with DJs Purple Unit, Dead Phantoms, and more Time: 22.00 Admission: L-20hrv, G-40hrv Noblesse (V Vasylkivska 3) 097-282-6760

911: On-Call Party with DJ Artem Fleming Time: 22.00 Admission: before 00.00 L-30hrv, G-50hrv, after L-50hrv, G-70hrv Bionica (Borshchahivska 128a) 232-7296

DJ Stas Twee Time: 23.00 Admission: before 00.00 L-120hrv, G-free after L-120hrv, G-70hrv AndyBar (Khreshchatyk 12) 591-1509

Pick-up Party with DJs Rejoice, Denny Raff, and Jeff Time: 23.00 Admission: L-free, G-50hrv Egoist (Horlovskaya 124/140) 223-3633

Brand New Dance with DJ Angelo Ferreri (Italy) Time: 22.00 Admission: before 23.30 L-40hrv, G-50hrv, after L-60hrv, G-70hrv Forsage (Harmatna 51a) 232-6780

5 .5 B’Day Bash with DJs Phantasy (UK), Pavel Plastikk, and Anton Feuer Time: 23.00 Admission: 150hrv Xlib (Frunze 12) 417-3233 Party Night with DJs Dima Matrosov and Rockstar Time: 23.00 Admission: call for details Sky Bar (V Vasylkivska 5) 223-8888 Prime Club 6 Birthday Party with DJs Mr Sunny, Nickolai Nick, Valery Star, Romantic and more Time: 00.00 Admission: before 00.00 L-40hrv, G-50hrv, after L-50hrv, G-60hrv Prime (Nauki 8) 524-2209 th

Sin City Party with DJs Las Wild, Ivan Demsoff, Marka Pola, Misha Zaitsev, and NoBrain Time: 22.00 Admission: 350hrv Chateau Mystique (Lenina 39) 093-112-0139 Around the World – Greece Time: 21.00 Admission: L-50hrv, G-100hrv Shooters (Moskovska 22) 254-2024

H ed Kandi Time: 22.00 Admission: call for details D’Lux (Hrushevskoho 3) 200-9009

F rom Dusk ‘til Dawn with DJs Vilka, Halanka, and FironKey Time: 22.00 Admission: 50hrv Home (Perova 2) 558-2545

DJ Bro and 2 M.a.c.h.o.s Time: 22.00 Admission: L-free, G-call for details D’Lux (Hrushevskoho 3) 200-9009

B ionica’s Birthday Party with DJs Indigo, Lubimoff, Dan, Saylex, ID Crash, and more Time: 22.00 Admission: before 00.00 L-40hrv, G-60hrv, after L-50hrv, G-80hrv Bionica (Borshchahivska 128a) 232-7296

House Panic with DJs Mr Sunny, Tagir Sultanov, Underhill, and ID Crash Time: 22.00 Admission: before 23.30 L-50hrv, G-60hrv, after L-25hrv, G-30hrv Saxon (Trutenko 4) 257-4070

B enjamin Best Friends Party with French DJs Benjamin Kazan and Michael Creange and more Time: 23.00 Admission: call for details Crystal Hall (Dniprovskiy Spusk 1) 288-5069

From Russia, With Rhyme

Kasta (Russia, rap), Green Theatre (Parkova Doroga 2)

5 October at 19.00

Russian rap group Kasta is returning to Kyiv and its many diehard fans couldn’t be any happier.

Since its humble beginnings in the Rostov in the early 1990s, Kasta has earned a reputation as one of the best rap acts to come from the PostSoviet territories, with lyrics that paint a vivid picture of living the hard knock life in Russia.

The group’s music has been featured in several major movie soundtracks, signalling the band’s arrival on the worldwide rap scene.

Tickets are 200 – 350hrv. For more information call 287-8787.

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Sunday Ladies Night with Male PJ Show and DJs Andrey Lubimoff and Saylex Time: 22.00 Admission: before 00.00 L-30hrv, G-50hrv, after L-50hrv, G-70hrv Bionica (Borshchahivska 128a) 232-7296 Disco 80s and 90s Time: 20.00 Admission: before L-20hrv, G-30hrv Noblesse (V Vasylkivska 3) 097-282-6760 World of Love with DennySmile, Arturo Ricci, and David DJ Time: 22.00 Admission: before 00.00 L-free, G-20hrv after L-20hrv, G-30hrv Prime (Nauki 8) 524-2209 B ack in the USSR with DJ Velskiy and Friends Time: 23.00 Admission: L-free, G-100hrv Azure (Leontovycha 3) 234-7494 Sunday Funday Karaoke with DJs Vados and Beats Time: 21.00 Admission: L-free, G-50hrv Sorry Babushka 486-0300 Step by Step Time: 21.00 Admission: before 23.00-free, after L-free, G-100hrv Shooters (Moskovska 22) 254-2024 All Out Dance Party with DJs Zeekrey and Joyint Time: 22.00 Admission: call for details Sakhar Party Bar (Dekabrystov 12/37) 563-9662 Fight with the Stars Karaoke Night Time: 21.00 Admission: call for details Sky Bar (V Vasylkivska 5) 223-8888 StudMiss Ukraine Contest Time: 19.00 Admission: 100hrv Crystal Hall (Dniprovskiy Spusk 1) 288-5069 Disco Crash: Teen Themed with DJ Night Time: 22.00 Admission: before 23.30 L-15hrv, G-30hrv, after L-25hrv, G-30hrv Saxon (Trutenko 4) 257-4070

RnB Boom with DJs Lady, Kash Flow, Mukvik and more Time: 22.00 Admission: L-20hrv, G-30hrv Forsage (Harmatna 51a) 232-6780

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Monday Jose Cuervo Night Time: 21.00 Admission: free Shooters (Moskovska 22) 254-2024 Disco Nostalgia with DJs Vados and Beats Time: 21.00 Admission: free Sorry Babushka 486-0300

9

Tuesday Raise Your Sails with Captain Morgan!

Time: 21.00 Admission: free Shooters (Moskovska 22) 254-2024 Disco Party and Karaoke, DJs Vados and Beats Time: 21.00 Admission: free Sorry Babushka 486-0300 Natural Selection with DJs Willy Star, Anthony Art, and Afghan Time: 20.00 Admission: L-25hrv, G-30hrv Gallery Club (Peremohy Pr 47/2) 453-3727

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Wednesday Sweet Retro Wednesdays Time: 21.00 Admission: L-free, G-50hrv Sorry Babushka 486-0300 Live Karaoke with Beethoven Band Time: 21.00 Admission: call for details Sky Bar (V Vasylkivska 5) 223-8888 Ladies Night Time: 21.00 Admission: before 00.00, L-50hrv, G-closed, after G-100hrv Shooters (Moskovska 22) 254-2024

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Thursday Burning Night Time: 21.00 Admission: before 23.00 L-free, after G-100hrv Shooters (Moskovska 22) 254-2024 Fashion Rocks Kyiv Concert with Narada Michael Walden, Jamala, The Hardkiss, Alloise and more Time: 22.00 Admission: call for details Crystal Hall (Dniprovskiy Spusk 1) 288-5069 Ladies Night Time: 21.00 Admission: before 23.00 L-free, G-50hrv, after L-50hrv, G-50hrv Sorry Babushka 486-0300 Spartaque Supreme Night Time: 22.00 Admission: call for details Forsage (Harmatna 51a) 232-6780

: What's On Recommended

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02.10.2012 18:28:26

12

This Week Art

5–11 October 2012

A Book For All Time

Variable Interiors Exhibition of works by Oleksiy Apollonov and Olena Pryduvalova (UA) Triptych Gallery (Desyatynna 13) Until 9 October 279-2909

Exhibition of rare book editions, Private Museum of Spiritual Treasures of Ukraine (Desyatynna 12)

The Illusion of Reality Exhibition of dolls by Olena Vanzhega (UA) Parsuna Gallery (Khoryva 43) Until 18 October 425-2415

From 5 October

The Private Museum of Spiritual Treasures of Ukraine has put together an extensive collection of ancient icons gathered from all over the country. In addition to these sacred images, the museum presents a selection of rare religious books published in the 17th-19th centuries – nearly 30 unique editions, most of which have never been revealed to the public. Bound in leather and decorated with gold and jewels, the pearl of the exhibit is the Dali-illustrated, Russian-language, Ukrainian edition Bible, which first premiered in Lviv at their annual international Book Forum last month.

For more information 278-8308.

Mamaychuky. Timeless Look.

Exhibition of paintings by Anatoliy Melnyk (UA) National Art Museum of Ukraine (Hrushevskoho 6) Until 28 October 278-7454 100 Masterpieces of Old European Masters Exhibition of paintings from various Ukrainian museums Khanenko Museum of Art (Tereshchenkivska 15-17) Until 11 October 235-3290

Of Landscapes and Love Exhibition of photographs by Michael McCafrey (US) Brucie Collections (Artema 55b) Until 30 October 205-4264

Egyptian Album Exhibition of works by Andriy Tturtsevych (UA) Art Prychal Gallery (Naberezhno Khreshchatytska, wharf № 2) Until 8 November 097-671-1588 Summer 2012 Exhibition of works by David Sharashydze (UA) Bizantium Gallery (Pushkinska 21) Until 19 October 050-310-5778

Author Unknown Exhibition of works by Valeriy Chtak (RUS) Mironova Gallery (Olhynska 6) Until 15 October 067-440-0256

Family

Autumn Illusions

Exhibition of Chrysanthemums, Spivoche Pole (Pechersk Landscape Park)

Until 21 October

With the weather cooperating so wonderfully, spend this next weekend outside at the second annual Exhibition of Chrysanthemums. As a symbol of light and spiritual renaissance, the chrysanthemum was a flower highly regarded by Japanese emperors. Presenting up to ten different kinds of this perennial member of the daisy clan at these year’s exhibition, organisers have fashioned 20 thousand of these and 250 thousand of various other flowers into the most amazing figures. The highlight? The Golden Fairy, made of over 1,000 of this autumn flower! Plus, lots more attractions for the kids Tickets are 20hrv (adults); free for children and pensioners. For more information call 272-2666.

Kyiv Academic Puppet Theatre Hrushevskoho 1a (Park Khreshchatyk) 278-5808 www.akadempuppet.kiev.ua Kyiv Municipal Puppet Theatre Myropilska 1 513-1500 www.puppet-theater.kiev.ua MARIINSKIY PARK Arsenalna Metro

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Marionette Theatre Sahaidachnoho 29/3 417-3058 www.history.marionet.com.ua National Circus of Ukraine Peremohy 2 486-3856 www.circus.kiev.ua Kyiv Zoo Peremohy 32  277-47-69

5

Friday Circus Classic and Fantastic Time: 19.00 Admission: 80-180hrv National Circus of Ukraine (Peremohy 2) 486-3856

6

Saturday Circus Classic and Fantastic Time: 13.00 &17.00 Admission: 80-180hrv National Circus of Ukraine (Peremohy 2) 486-3856 Fairytale about Tsar Saltan Opera in 2 acts Time: 12.00 Admission: 10-40hrv Kyiv Theatre of Opera & Ballet for Children & Youth (Mezhyhirska 2) 425-3116 Fantasy Queen Fairytale in 2 acts Time: 12.00 Admission: 40-50hrv Lypska Youth Theatre (Lypska 15/17) 253-6219

Family Entertainment Centre Dyvosvit M Malinovskoho 24/10 502-0088 www.dyvosvit.ua Nemo Dolphinarium Academic Hlushkov 9 520-5555 www.nemokiev.com Kyiv Planetarium V Vasylkivska 57/3 287-7508 www.planet.org.ua

Pan Kotskiy Time: 11.00 Three Piglets Time: 13.00 Happy Bears Time: 15.00 Thumbelina Time: 17.00 Admission: 40hrv Puppet Theatre (Hrushevskoho 1a) 278-5808 Kolobok’s Magical Journey Play Time: 11.00 The Starry Sky Above Us Educational programme Time: 14.00 Myths and Legends of the Stars Time: 18.00 Kyiv Planetarium (V Vasylkivska 57/3) 287-7508

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Sunday Circus Classic and Fantastic Time: 13.00 &17.00 Admission: 80-180hrv National Circus of Ukraine (Peremohy 2) 486-3856

Town Musicians of Bremen Fairytale in 2 acts Time: 12.00 Admission: 10-50hrv I Franko Theatre (I Franka 3) 279-5921 Sleeping Beauty Ballet in 2 acts Time: 12.00 Admission: 10-40hrv Kyiv Theatre of Opera & Ballet for Children & Youth (Mezhyhirska 2) 425-4280 Mariyka and Bear Time: 11.00 Cinderella Time: 13.00 Golden Chicken Time: 15.00 Little Red Riding Hood Time: 17.00 Admission: 40hrv Puppet Theatre (Hrushevskoho 1a) 278-5808 Aladdin’s Lamp Fairytale in 1 act Time: 12.00 Admission: 20-50hrv Operetta Theatre (V Vasylkivska 53/3) 287-2630

Aqua Park in Terminal Brovary, Kyivska 316 200 29 80/81 www.aquapark-terminal.com.ua

Horse-riding Centre Nabeg Vyshhorodska 85a 360-3838 (call in advance) www.loshadi.kiev.ua

Dream Land Aqua Park Obolonskiy 21b 485-2111/12

Central Horse Race Track of Ukraine Akademika Hlushkova 10 526-2053 www.ipodrom-kiev.at.ua

Ostrich Farm Yasnohorodka, Podlesna 32 (30km from Kyiv)  353-8821 www.ostrich.com.ua

Exhibition Centre Park Akademika Hlushkova 1 www.expocenter.com.ua

State Museum of Toys Klovskiy Spusk 8 253-5400 Interesting Kyiv Tours 364-5111 www.interesniy.kiev.ua Pyrohovo Open Air Museum Trolleybus 11 from Lybidska Metro 526-5765 www.pirogovo.org.ua

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Wednesday Rabbit-Postmen Music fairytale in 2 acts Time: 13.00 Admission: 10-40hrv Kyiv Theatre of Opera & Ballet for Children & Youth (Mezhyhirska 2) 425-4280

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Thursday The Ransom of Red Chief Fairytale in 2 acts Time: 12.00 Admission: 40-50hrv Lypska Youth Theatre (Lypska 15/17) 253-6219 Sleeping Beauty Ballet in 2 acts Time: 13.00 Admission: 10-40hrv Kyiv Theatre of Opera & Ballet for Children & Youth (Mezhyhirska 2) 425-4280

Mamaeva Sloboda Museum M Dontsya 2 361-9848 www.mamajeva-sloboda.ua National Botanic Garden Timiryazevska 1 284-9506 www.nbg.kiev.ua

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02.10.2012 18:28:54

Graham Phillips

14

Kyiv Culture

Winding Up

Posypayko How do you interview a guy like Igor Posypayko? A guy known for his love of winding up his interviewees. Well, why not try to emulate the man himself…

I

gor Posypayko is one of Kyiv’s best MCs, TV personalities, producers, and now up and coming DJs. As such, he and What’s On have had a long and loving relationship. Which is why we thought we might have a little fun with him…

So, tell us about your projects on the go right now…

Well, the first thing is a new club project called Posypayko Glamrock. It’s not all about me being a DJ, it’s about me being a DJ and playing fun music – no techno, house, electro etc. The style is called Alkobeat, meaning it’s pure fun music. I go to clubs these days of course, but I don’t often enjoy the music, so this is something suitable for expats, people over 25 and the like. More than that, it’s a whole show – me doing my thing, a provocative dance show (NC-17 – no children under 17) and all-round evening of entertainment.

Part of the evening is also me casting for my TV show.

Ohhh, let’s hear about that too…

I’m doing a TV show called Celebrity Test Drive on ICTV. It’s the only car show in Ukraine on prime time, on a national TV channel. We are trying to be a bit like Top Gear, so we joke about cars, about celebrities, about celebrities driving cars, all that kind of stuff. It’s more of a humour show, than a car show.

How would you describe yourself to someone who has never heard of you?

The thing which gives me most pleasure is TV production – testing cars and that kind of thing, it’s the perfect man’s job. So, firstly I’m a TV host and producer, that’s my favourite part of life. But I also love music, and love playing music, so I love being a DJ, and hosting parties, being on stage.

I’m essentially an entertainer.

You could say I’m intelligent, ironic, fun, cheeky, provocative, available for parties, and quite cheap.

Do you get involved in politics? What do you think of the current administration?

I don’t really have time for politics. But, to me, the current administration are like foreign occupiers than elected politicians. I don’t agree with what they are doing with taxes, the language law, I could go on....

With regards to the language law, do you ever feel like you are limiting your audience to the Ukrainian market, when you could do all the CIS countries with Russian?

I don’t think of myself in terms of how big I want to be. I think of what I want to do for fun, and what makes me happy. What makes me happy is doing my show, hosting parties, kite surfing, sailing, skiing and bike riding. I’ve got enough money, I don’t want to go and expand to bigger markets.

And what is your educational background?

I graduated from Shevchenko University here, and then studied in the States. I got my Bachelor’s degree there, and my Master’s in Edinburgh.

Can you tell us what were you before you became the Posypayko that everyone knows, and some even love?

Most of my life I was quite serious. I worked as a lawyer for a few years, then decided to quit and go to India. I sent them an SMS on New Year’s Eve, back in 2006, and just took off. Then, by chance, a friend asked me to do a casting for a TV show. I got that gig, and things kicked on from there – I spent five years on the 1+1 Channel, doing eight shows for them.

Tell us about the hosting of beauty contests, which you are noted for…

I host at least one sometimes two beauty contests a month – it’s one of my favourite hobbies.

It’s features the best Ukrainian treasure and the best Ukrainian attraction – ladies! It may even be one of the main reasons for my returning to live in Ukraine. I like girls, I enjoy being around beautiful people. I’m very much a visualistic person, if there is such a word.

Do you think it’s healthy, all this emphasis on beauty?

Most girls do it just for fun, some do it to win prizes, some do it to meet Prince Charming. It’s all good sport, I’ve never seen a girl truly devastated when she didn’t win.

How do you keep in touch with your fans?

Well, I’m not a rock star to have fans in that way.

There are people who like my work, they write to me and say things like, “You guys are crazy, you had Skrypka driving a Ferrari against you on horseback in the centre of Kyiv!” They give feedback on my stuff – “that was good, that wasn’t so good…” I do sometimes get young ladies writing to me asking questions, but they are not really so interested in the answers to those questions – they are looking for something else which I’m not going to get involved in.

Do you have a ‘life message’ for your fans?

Sure, do whatever you feel! If you like someone – just go have sex with them! And go out there and quit your job. Just do it – something will come up, you won’t regret it!

Are you telling people they should copulate freely and resign from their jobs?

Yes, absolutely.

Look out for Posypayko Glam Rock, coming to a club near you, and Celebrity Test Drive, on ICTV soon.

You’re a pretty big name in Ukraine then…

Well, if you say so!

You have been described in different ways – what is most accurate?

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02.10.2012 18:28:59

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02.10.2012 18:30:28

16

Coming Soon As Tricky As They Come

Kings Take on Kyiv

17 November at 20.00

6 November at 19.00

The Best of Kings of the Dance (international, contemporary ballet), National Opera of Ukraine (Volodymyrska 50)

Tricky (UK, trip hop), Crystal Hall (Dniprovskiy Spusk 1)

Talent Comes to Kyiv

Billy Talent (Canada, punk-rock), Stereo Plaza (Kikvidze 1)

25 November at 20.00

This Canadian punk-rock quartet was formed in 1993. Now, 19 years later, they’re about to debut in Ukraine. Known formerly as Pezz, the band were forced to change their name due to a lawsuit in 1999 by an American group similarly named. Inspired by the guitarist from the novel Hard Core Logo, however, they later became ‘Billy Talent’, and were signed on

by Warner Music Canada just two years later. Releasing their first two albums in Canada, both of which went multi-platinum, their fifth and most recent was launched this September, and has plunged the group on a UK tour, which somehow includes Ukraine!

Tickets are 240 – 400hrv. For more information call 222-8040.

Ring the New Year in with a Bang

Big Chinese Circus with the Hebei Acrobatic Troupe (China), Artists House (Artema 1-5)

15 & 16 December at 12.00, 14.00 & 16.00

Twice, the Big Chinese Circus has been to Ukraine, and both times has offered breath-taking performances for children, parents and grandparents! Back this December, the Hebei Acro-

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Somewhere between singing and speaking, somewhere between hip-hop, techno, and rock, Tricky’s voice and music are hard to peg down. The British rapper/singer’s debut album, Maxinquaye, was a sweeping oeuvre that hurled him into international stardom and incorporated everything from 80s British rock to reggae, soul, and American hip-hop. His more recent works took on a more aggressive punk edge, as Tricky grappled with the trappings of his sudden fame, but he’s made every genre his own.

For tickets or more information call 067-442-9267.

batic Troupe are bringing their exotic New Year show which will stun and amaze with tricks and acrobatics. As the Chinese circus takes you back through ancient philosophies, culture and their impressive martial arts, every act has a deep and symbolic significance. Picking up on the traditions of Ukraine, expect Did Moroz and Snigurochka to make an appearance as well.

Tickets are 100 – 300hrv. For more information call 272-0547.

A Terrifyingly Good Time

Crazy Halloween Fest 2012 (international), Alto Expo (Moskovskiy 11)

2 November at 20.00

After four years of hosting the hottest private Halloween parties, DJ Kayun has set his sights on a roomier venue and assembled a line-up so good it’s a little bit spooky. Host MC Rybik will guide us through this haunted evening of delights, which will include a sexy PJ Show, a Fire Show, and various other Halloween-themed shenanigans. Moscow imports Petel/Ostrikov and DJ M.E.G. team up with our own Mr Sunny and Tagir Sultanov to keep the crowds howling all night long. Dust off your sexiest costumes—you have some trick or treating to do.

Tickets are 200hrv in advance or 300hrv at the door. Call 063-6604049 or visit www.kayun.com.ua for more information.

Uniting some of the best male dancers from around the globe, the critically-acclaimed Kings of the Dance is back with their annual performance here in Kyiv.

With Ukraine’s own Denys Matvienko, Canada’s Marcelo Gomes, Guillaume Cote of the American Ballet Theatre, and Leonid Sarafonov and Ivan Vasiliev of the Myhailovskiy Ballet, this evening is going to be one of beauty, grace, passion and perfection. Getting its start back in 2006, you will be treated to three acts this year, highlighting the incredible talents of each of these five dancers.

Tickets are 100 – 2,000hrv. For more information call 455-9087.

Master of the Remix

Sebastien Leger (France, techno), Mantra (V Vasylkivska 5)

26 October at 22.00

Leger has created remixes for a long list of global artists, including Justin Timberlake, Armand Van Helden, Eric Prydz, Dannii Minogue, Kevin Saunderson, Depeche Mode, and The Chemical Brothers, but that’s not his only claim to fame. Inspired by the tenets of the Chicago and Detroit techno-house scenes, this French DJ has fast become a ‘house’-hold name in his own right, with many successful albums and singles under his belt. He started a record company called Mistakes, and he describes it as “the only record company that is not really techno.” He also prefers to make singles instead of records, making his sets an enjoyable disarray of remixes and songs that skip across the genre spectrum.

For tickets or more information call 221-4448.

Hey Hop!

Virsky National Ukrainian Dance Ensemble, Palace Ukraine (V Vasylkivska 103)

22 October at 19.00

There is nothing like the Virsky Ensemble of Ukrainian Dance when it comes to promoting the best in Ukrainian culture. Combining folk dance with classically-trained dancers and music particular to every region in the country, there is no better way to feel the true spirit of Ukraine.

This year, the profound (in every sense of the word) Ukrainian ensemble is celebrating its 75th anniversary – 75 years of success, brilliant performance and the powerful promotion of Ukrainian culture throughout the world.

You are guaranteed an unforgettable evening! Make sure you secure your ticket today!

Tickets are 80 – 450hrv. For more information call 247-2316.

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17

The Brilliant and Caustic Viktiuk

Sluzhanki (Le Bonnes) – theatre ritual in 1 act by the Roman Viktiuk Theatre, October Palace (Instytutska 1)

11 December at 19.00

The Most Recent and Contemporary Kyiv Art Contemporary – International Art Forum, Mystetsky Arsenal (Lavrska 12)

1 – 11 November

Dance Again

Jennifer Lopez (US, pop) Palace Sport (Sportyvna Pl 1)

13 November at 19.00

Let’s Get Loud, ‘cause Jennifer Lopez is coming to town!!! That’s right, popular diva, actress, dancer, producer and designer J Lo has kicked up her heels again and is on the road with her Dance Again World Tour. Here in Ukraine for the second time, expect hits like If You

Had My Love, Love Don’t Cost A Thing, Jenny From the Block, as well as chartoppers from her newest album Love? such as On the Floor and I’m Into You. Since the release of her debut album way back in 1999, this girl from the Bronx has become one of world’s hottest Latin stars. Make sure you get tickets – it’s going to be good!

Tickets are 600 – 7,900hrv. For more information call 246-7406.

Bach and Breakdance Together

Cooler Than Cruise

Red Bull Flying Bach (dance, classical), National Opera Theatre (Volodymyrska 50)

Vanilla Sky (Italy, rock), Art Club 44 (Khreshchatyk 44b)

25 – 27 October at 19.00

We’re pretty sure Bach never did any breakdance, but that doesn’t mean his 21st century fans can’t combine the two. This next performance at the National Opera Theatre will surely be unlike anything you ever seen in a theatre so regal. What it does, however, is prove that high classical culture can and does go perfectly well with modern urban aesthetics.

Brought to life by Germany’s most popular breakdance team – The Flying Steps, these guys are taking their show on the road, and after Kyiv are headed throughout Europe, the Middle East and Asia.

Don’t miss it!

Tickets are 100 – 500hrv. For more information call 279-1169.

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Mystetsky Arsenal has been the centre of international art life recently, making a home for Arsenale throughout the earlier part of the summer. The autumn, however, will be no less sensational, with the seventh international Kyiv Art Forum guaranteed to keep the city’s artistic community well engaged.

Having gained a reputation for presenting Ukraine’s biggest and best in contemporary art trends, make sure you schedule at least one visit in the 11 days it’s here.

For more information visit www.artarsenal.in.ua

The theatrical world has traditionally called Roman Viktuik scandalous, mostly because his plays are always controversial, very provocative and often sarcastic. Take, for instance, the idea of male actors in female roles – shocking!

While this kind of theatre may or may not work for everyone, the one thing he is very, very good at is ensuring no one walks away indifferent after spending an evening with him and his actors. Take Le Bonnes (Sluzhanki in Russian), a play by French writer Jean Genet: as a story that unites envy and love, passion and hatred, inner freedom and those chains bound to us by society, it's had a 20-year run, and is worth your time this evening.

Tickets are 50 – 700hrv. For more information call 279-1582, 278-7492.

5 November at 21.00

Rocking Travellers Around the World in 80 Days & Way Station (Russia, instrumental, post-rock), Art Club 44 (Khreshchatyk 44b)

17 October at 21.00

Russian duo AW80D was formed in 2009 and has managed three international tours in that time.

One of these had them partner up with the intriguing Karusell Theatre in Germany, the result of which was a pretty spectacular show. Sharing stages with some big names in the post-rock biz 65Daysofstatic, God Is an Astronaut, My Own Private Alaska and Moving Mountains, AW80D are all on their own this winter, with a concert here in Ukraine promoting their new record, noneXistent.

Support will be provided by Ukrainian post-rockers, Way Station.

Tickets are 30hrv. For more information call 279-4137.

Released in 2007, the popular hit Umbrella brought fame not only to its author Rihanna, but also to Italians Vanilla Sky, whose remake of the same song became just as popular on the Internet as the original on the charts. While this was their real claim to fame, the group actually started crafting and creating five years earlier, and has released three albums in the decade they’ve been together. If you haven’t heard it yet, come out tonight to check out their version of Umbrella-ellaella, as well as some of their more original handiwork.

Tickets are 80hrv. For more information call 279-4137.

Two Girls, One Song

Blond:ish (Canada, techno), Mantra (V Vasylkivska 5)

10 November at 22.00

Canadian duo Blond:ish is comprised of London-based DJs Anastacia and Vivie-Ann, who are known for mixing sexy bass lines with catch vocals. Having honed their signature formula, the two DJs explore various genres in their albums. Their latest offering, Lovers in Limbo, explores 1960s music with the duo’s unique combination of deft technical expertise and creative panache. These girls know it doesn’t matter what genre you play if you keep the crowd dancing!

For tickets and more information call 221-4448.

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Yuliya Hudoshnyk

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Ukraine Today

Crazy Ways to Find Your Self When people around us start odd projects, like attending breathing lessons or eating only products beginning with a certain letter, we can’t help but be slightly amused. Why do they fall for these gimmicks?

Or, maybe it’s us. Maybe these kinds of activities have more to offer than we sceptics think…

T

he whole concept of “trying to find oneself” has always made me smile. Where and when did you lose yourself, mate? Here you are, safe and sound in front of me – I am not sure if you’ll need to add your photograph to a Missing Persons flyer just yet.

Although most people don’t take looking for ways to fit in that far, many are clearly searching for some hidden, vital recipe, some formula that will snap everything into focus and allow them to fully understand their lives and their inner beings. And, of course, there are a million ways to go about it. Offbeat religions, bizarre physical practices, quirky subcultures – they all promise to bring you one step closer to an enlightened life. Whether they deliver is a different question altogether.

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The Scientologists A Religious Experience

Here in Ukraine, we joke that a young man only attends church when he has a problem. These days, however, the search for a deeper, richer inner life is the “problem”, and it’s pushing people to try new religions in droves.

A local Buddhist, Natalia, tells me that she became interested in Buddhism because she had a lot of unanswered questions. “I used to live a well-planned life with a high-ranking job and acquaintances with our business elite, but it wasn’t the life I wanted.” Buddhists, in Natalia’s opinion, “live more and feel more”. Still, all religions promise inner freedom and a higher level of consciousness.

It calls to mind the Krishnaist who tried to convince me in a previous interview that “Vedas (ancient Hindu scriptures) will open your eyes and give you worthy advice for any life situation.”

These guys are already pretty famous, what with Tom Cruise and his Scientology-tinged marriages and divorces. But what is Scientology really about? They believe in a god, apparently.

But their god is an alien. We are not exactly sure which planet he is from, but we’re sure you can find a hint in one of the books Scientologists regularly hawk on Khreshchatyk. The Khreshchatyk scientologists avoid my questions about the origin of their religion, focusing instead on selling me a copy of their books. They also refuse to confirm that they believe our bodies are occupied by aliens from a long-lost planet.

There is a Scientology centre here in Kyiv, on the Lavrska no less, so we know they are actively recruiting. I wonder if you must be free of engrams to enter. Engrams by the way, are the ghostly alien infestations that the uninitiated suffer from. The only way to cure oneself is to empty one’s bank accounts and hand everything over to the closest Scientology centre.

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is v er y “ R eligion and personal you the more for are lookingmore the truth , you trapped ” b ecome

Little Adults and Rational Ones

As for other Scientologists beliefs, we go straight to the source. Tom Cruise is an Operating Thetan (meaning he has spent a lot of money clambering the Scientology ladder to space). He believes that “psychiatry should be outlawed”, right along with medicine. Cruise also reportedly views his six-year-old daughter, Suri, not as a child, but as a “little adult” who is free to make all her own choices and decisions.

At this point, most of this “little adult’s” decisions have revolved around wearing child-size pink high heels.

Katia Soroka, who has tried a number of religions, including a few we’ve just listed, tells me she came to the conclusion that your own personal belief system is what really matters.

“Religion is very personal and the more you are looking for truth, the more trapped you become.

During my search of a perfect religion, I realised that faith in yourself, in your insight, and in the laws of love is really what will drive your life in the right direction.” Hmmm, pretty deep.

Mirror, Mirror on the Wall

When people have faith neither in God nor in their own power, they rely on numbers and predictions for assurance. Fortunetellers make great money here in Ukraine, promising to protect you from a harrowing list of 33 life-ruining events that you might encounter. Fear and superstition help sustain business and provide a constant flow of clients. Major life and health issues, such as alcoholism, obesity, and impotency, can

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be resolved with a short visit to the fortuneteller and faithful adherence to her magical advice. Talking to a mirror might as well be included, too. Go ahead: be the hero of your own fairytale.

If you don’t believe in black cats and voodoo dolls, astrologists and numerologists might seem a bit more down to earth. Desperate Kyivites rush to them to find answers to their most worrying questions. Astrologist Yuliya Bogdan says that most people come to her in an attempt to resolve a disagreement with one of two parties: “Either they don’t see eye to eye with their beloved or they are arguing with their business partners.” For a fee, Bogdan will review your information and give you a yearly list of lucky calendar dates for every activity imaginable, from signing agreements to shopping and socialising with friends. Conversely, numerologist Tamara Polyakova promises to map out a comprehensive prediction of your entire life—up to the date of your death—based on only your birth date.

Goths and Emokids

Subcultures usually involve people who have strongly marked tastes. Or, just really want to stand out from the crowd. This is extremely popular among school children, but some adults seem to hunger for the spotlight as well. While exploring the Kyiv Goths’ website, I came across some moving intro text: “Our website will help you understand your real self. If you don’t want to be like others and you feel strong enough to not blend in to the crowd. If you can’t bear sunlight and people point and stare at you. If you are attracted by darkness and tranquillity and your body strives for pain and pleasure. You don’t have to put on any guises – just be yourself!”

For those not yet shell-shocked, the maudlin Emo set will be the icing on this subcultural cake. If you consider yourself an extremely emotional chap and need to express your negative attitude towards life all the time, then this subculture will suit you best. Emos believe suffering is the “architect of soul”, and suicide is the best solution for the most

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courageous. For those with a flair for the macabre, there are breakdowns on creative suicide methods, with lists of pros and cons and statistics on success rates. These folks don’t need lifelong plans worked out by a numerologist. Moping around in black clothes and listening to death metal is their chosen path to self-realisation.

Games with Energy

Our last cross-section of self-seekers uses physical means to achieve inner peace. You won’t surprise people now if you start eating only vegetables, fruits and nuts. Becoming a prana (“energy”) eater, however, is the fastest way to get called a weirdo. This is because the only thing prana eaters consume is “sun energy” (and some water and herbal tea, when the going gets rough). If that sort of diet really worked, famines would be a thing of the past and we would only ever worry if there was enough “sun energy” for global feasting. It won’t surprise you to learn that this prana regime has ended tragically for some of its more fervent followers.

Kundalini yoga promises peace of body and mind and the awakening of your inner energy, which apparently sits coiled like a snake somewhere between your rectum and your navel. Achieving this awakening is supposed to cause a transcendent, out-of-body experience. This sounds appealing to frazzled city locals who could really use a little extra energy. Vika Dernova, a yoga trainer, calls it “unhealthy yoga”, however. “This yoga is intended to awaken an energy described as a serpent sleeping inside. But it is not a toy and if you are not prepared for the experience, the results will be fatal,” she warns. She laments that too many people are dabbling in meditation, Rebirthing and Holotropic breathing without the necessary preparation and knowledge.

We could continue adding to our list of zany activities forever, as human curiosity and daring knows no bounds. Ukrainians, especially, are eager to stay ahead of the curve on new trends and ideas. This hunger and curiosity for everything new and unexplained has people trying various projects that (in theory) offer immediate happiness. All we can say is this: should you decide to go Emo for a day or make a visit to the Scientology centre, make sure you consume an adequate serving of prana beforehand and double check with your local numerologist to make sure this date is auspicious for such experiments.

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Kyiv Life

Find more photos of these events on the Asya Kuchina of tochka.net with Elena Potebnya of Noerr

Svetlana Yanchenko and Oleksandra Shipilova of Radisson Blu with Julia Ilyuhina of Cogniance

The Chamber’s Traditional “Welcome Back”

Rostyslav Lubka, Dmitriy Gud, Darya Chervonopiskaya and Julia Repina of Integrites

KUVSHIN RESTAURANT Summer has moved on leaving the sweet memories of Euro 2012, the Summer Olympics and peaceful vacations behind. With the bad always comes the good, which, in this case, means the return of ACC’s traditional networking cocktails! Assembling at Kuvshin on 20 September, there was a grand group of members and friends, glad to be back and enjoying every moment.

Valeria Olefirenko of ExonMobile with Iryna Kardash of PSI

BUCC’s Anna Ganich and Boris Pliner of Banque De Luxembourg

Olena Ort and Ihor Ort together with Serhiy Stetsiuk all of Atlantic Global Investment

BUCC’s September Meeting in Action

Vitaliy Kuzub and Alibek Kazibekov both of Ernst & Young Cory Igo, Eugene Walsh and Jorge Intriago sharing a drink with the ladies

HYATT In contrast to last week’s huge event, which saw a number of Kyiv residents gather at the British Ambassador’s Residence to welcome HE Simon Smith to the city, the BUCC party on 26 September was more subdued and in keeping with their traditional networking nights out. As per usual, business cards were handed over for the raffle, the winners of which were gifted with a dinner for two at Grill Asia as well as a visit to their splendid spa. It was a great way to get the season off to a good start!

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What’s On Facebook page at facebook.com/whatson.kyiv An Evening of German Agriculture and Wine

The newlyappointed agricultural attaché Dr Aschfalk, with the head of the GermanUkrainian Agropolitical Dialogue DrVolker Sasse

GERMAN EMBASSY The Parliamentarian Undersecretary of the German Federal Ministry of Food, Agriculture and Consumer Protection, Dr Gerd Müller, paid a visit to Kyiv on 18 September, where he met the Ambassador of the Federal Republic of Germany, HE Dr Christof Weil. That same evening, the EBA held a wine tasting in the cosy atmosphere of the Embassy. Christened German Night, guests were introduced to various German wines as well as some delectable eats, and were treated to the traditional Euro Drink business raffle, with many prizes provided for the winners.

Dirk Stratmann of German Agribusiness saying a few words

Parliamentarian Undersecretary of the German Federal Ministry of Food, Agriculture and Consumer Protection, Dr Gerd Müller

International Association for Plant Protection Sciences Head, Dr Gerhard Gündermann speaks with the Ambassador of Germany HE Ambassador D Christof Weil

The European Dimension

Director of the Odesa Eastern and Western Art Museum Volodymyr Ostrovskiy and publisher Viktor Khomenko Deputy Minister of Culture of Ukraine Tymofiy Kokhan offers his thoughts

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KHANENKO MUSEUM Gathering 100 masterpieces of European classic art from all over the country, the Khanenko Museum opened this gigantic exhibition on 26 September. Thanks to the Kyiv City Council and Kyiv of the Future Charity Fund, paintings were gathered from nine museums throughout the country for the exhibition in the capital. The history of European art is hidden within the canvases of each of these pieces – make sure you catch the magic before the exhibition closes on 11 October.

Head of the Museum of Russian Art Yuriy Vakulenko with the Khanenko Museum’s Lyudmyla Kravchenko

Deputy head of Kyiv City Council Leonid Novokhatko with the Head of Poltava M Yaroshenko Art Museum Olha Kurchakova

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Kyiv Life

Find more photos of these events on the

Pakistan Says Thanks To Kyiv

MUSEUM OF KYIV HISTORY From 19 September, a 6-foot football, symbolising the friendship between Ukraine and Pakistan, will appear in the Museum of Kyiv History.

Congratulating the country on a EURO 2012 job well done, Pakistani Ambassador HE Ahmad Nawaz Saleem Mela shook hands with the Kyiv City Council’s Oleksandr Popov, and then proceeded to hand out EURO 2012 footballs to the students of the Pobeditel Communal School for Children and Youth, who were also in attendance. How generous!

Pakistani Ambassador HE Ahmad Nawaz Saleem Mela together with Head of Kyiv City Council Oleksandr Popov and Pobeditel students

Head of GDIP Pavlo Kryvonos

Deputy Head of Mission Dr Zafar Iqbal

… and the Ball

A Silent Game

Artist Pablo Amargo and his translator Julia Mijailuk

ARTHALL GALLERY On 19 September, ArtHall Gallery in conjunction with the Spanish Embassy invited guests to the opening of an exhibition of graphics by famous Spanish artist, Pablo Amargo.

Divided into four parts – books and albums, posters and covers, press-illustrations and audio-visual material, Silent Game aimed to better educate the Ukrainian art lover about Spanish culture. Unfortunately, the exhibition has already come to a close, but promises to appear again in a gallery near you!

ArtHall Gallery Director Yuri Krulikovsky together with Ambassador of Spain HE José Rodrigues Moyano

Rector of the Continental University Olivier Vedrine in conversation

Ambassador of Mexico in Ukraine HE Berenice Rendon and Cultural Attaché of the Spanish Embassy Oriol Escalas Nolla

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What’s On Facebook page at facebook.com/whatson.kyiv IOM Labour Migration and Human Development Project Manager Mr Mark Hanbury

IOM Specialist in Combating Racism and Xenophobia Yana Salakhova

Nations Unite

VOZDVIZHENSKIY HOTEL On 27 September, the International Organisation for Migration’s Diversity Initiative held a daylong session, during which such issues as xenophobia and racism were the highlighted topics. DI has been tackling these two issues specifically in Ukraine over the last five years, an initiative which has included educating the public on the best ways to deal with these types of problems. Uniting 65 companies, the programme continues to prove that prejudice towards other nations can be eliminated – all it takes is a little open-mindedness. Find out more at www.diversipedia.org.ua.

Head of the Consular and Legal Department of the Embassy of Germany Kurt Stoeckl-Stillfried

IOM Chief of Mission in Ukraine Mr Manfred Profazi and UNHCR Deputy Regional Representative for the Republic of Belarus, Republic of Moldova and Ukraine Vanno Noupech

Something Worth Celebrating

Dr Jim Bown of Vanco Petroleum with Anna Yevseyeva of Vasil Kisil

INTERCONTINENTAL HOTEL BALLROOM The law firm Vasil Kisil and Partners celebrated their 20th anniversary in style on 27 September, inviting clients, colleagues and guests to an elegant and friendly reception to mark this milestone. As well as celebrating their achievements over the years, the firm’s partners used the event to socialise with some of their clients and chat to them in an environment more relaxed than their usual more formal meetings.

The man himself, Mr Vasil Kisil (right) greets Mr Dmytro Baydyuk of Epicenter

Kostyantyn Krasovsky of Cadogan Petroleum plc with Managing Partner of Vasil Kisil and Partners Oleg Makarov

Igor Grigorov and Kostyantyn Yuhymenko of Fidobank with Yuliya Kyrpa of Vasil Kisil

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the amount of alcohol vapour in any particular sample of air. Even if you had a sample of that air. Stick a sensor in a car and try to get a reading of the amount of alcohol in the air inside and you might get a reading.

But as air circulates, then it wouldn’t be an accurate reading of any kind, and I’d think the amount of alcohol vapour in the air even with four seriously inebriated inhabitants would be rather miniscule.

Now, would it really be possible to make a reading from 300 metres away? Is it at all possible to measure the amount of something in something without a sample of the bigger something to begin with? I doubt it.

Is this just another example of the complete inefficiency of the DAI? Of course it is. And we also bet there’s some Russian oligarch sitting somewhere rubbing his hands together as the money rolls in from the shiny metal box he’s selling. An empty shiny metal box with a display and a battery and nothing much else.

Our government would be much better spending the money on training and the preventing of accepting bribes instead of handing out tickets. Only then will the country’s roads become safe.

Roses

The Kyiv authorities will allocate 140 million hrv for landscaping this month. Planting 2,400 trees and 500,000 rose bushes before 1 November, they also promise to plant two million additional rose bushes in the spring of 2013! Beautiful!

Wiki Leaks

Incensed by the recent debate over the slander law, unidentified hackers launched a WikiLeaks-style website called “Who’s in the Rada?” Anyone will be able to update the site (www.htovradi.info) with information about members of our illustrious government.

Sweater Weather

Not literally hot, but still quite nice.

We’re bundling up in cosy sweaters as temperatures drop, but the sun’s still shining bright. Beautiful, crisp fall days make Kyiv a great place to be in October.

Neil Campbell

A week of tween geniuses, rynok sass, British awkwardness, favourable comparisons, and buttery chicken. It’s all in Tweets of the Week!

UNDP Europe and CIS @UNDP Europe CIS has found some young Ukrainian geniuses: Beat this: 13-year olds map pollution in Kyiv, Ukraine using phones with GPS and chemical sensors.

Jared Morgan @JaredMorgan1 reports an interesting exchange at the rynok: Heard at the rynok: “Is your flounder still alive?” “No.” “Well, the price surprises me - are you collecting money for its funeral?”

David Scarborough @davescarborough is glad he’s British: Scared to talk to people in Kyiv. Retreated to McDonalds for food and turned on my Hugh Grant clumsy toffy charm to order food #ohgosh Sharon Hahn Darlin @SharonHahnD is comparing the US to Ukraine: Kiev economy = healthy, full of activity from street sweepers, shops open at night, luxury boutique houses. The U.S.? Rich & poor gap grows Chicken Kiev @TOMsentia changed his name to his favourite food and is just hungry: Wow, I’ve not had a chicken kiev in about 6 days, omg

Dear Larry, I don’t have a problem per se, as much as a wonderment... Do you know what the deal is with the sliver- and gold-painted live statues found on Khreshchatyk lately? I mean, they get painted up to move around for a couple of seconds, what exactly is so spectacular about that? Anyway, just curious.

Regards!

Dear Curious, Those “statues” are actually spelling out the names of the winners of the parliamentary election in sign language. Grab yourself a sign language alphabet card and pull up a chair, you’ll be awhile getting home.

Cheers, Larry, the All-Knowing

If you have a question about life, work or relationships in Kyiv please write to agonyaunt@whatson-kiev.com

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What’s Hot

M

y business partner, Mr Paul Niland, whom most of you all know and love, has just read out a very funny story that the DAI (Ukraine’s road traffic police) have just bought a pile of machines from Russia that can detect the amount of alcohol fumes in a vehicle from a distance of 300 metres. The theory goes, that with such a device the DAI are able to tell who might be participating in the art of driving while neurologically incapable of doing it safely, due to the amount of alcohol they’ve consumed.

Now, that sounds like a handy tool to have, but it stretches the realms of feasibility somewhat. I’m no scientist, but I understand that in order to measure the amount of something in something, one must have a sample of the something and a sensor to read the relative amount of something in that something.

For example, the most commonly used method of ascertaining the amount of alcohol in someone’s blood is to use a breathalyser. It works by taking a large sample of your breath and measuring the amount of alcohol in that sample. Using the ratio 2100:1, the breathalyser then extrapolates from the breath sample how much alcohol the individual has in his blood, and gives the result.

It would be a whole lot more difficult to develop a device that was capable of measuring

Corruption at the Polls

Ukraine-Forward! Party leader Natalia Korolevska, who often looks constipated in party campaign posters (you know the ones), announced that her party launched a campaign to stop the current administration’s “Stalinist” practices during the upcoming election. We bid her good luck.

Low-Budget Hotels

What’s Not

Publisher’s Provocations

Provocations and Observations

The American Chamber of Commerce complained this week that the lack of low-cost hotels in Kyiv is hurting tourism (see What’s Up for the newest index). The cheap hotels that do exist date back to the Soviet-era and are not up to snuff for Western travellers.

Being Debt Free

The Finance Ministry says it will borrow about 116.6 billion hrv in 2013, about 82.4 billion hrv from lenders on the domestic market and about 34.2 billion hrv abroad.

A spokesperson said these figures might change because the budget has yet to be finalised, but we doubt they’ll decrease.

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May

June

All Outlets

PARTIES PACKAGE May 1st – July 31th Dine 2 or more & Get a 300 UAH Voucher valid for the next visit. Terms & Conditions Apply

The Strand Grill

LUNCH OFFERS Espresso Business Lunch Starting from 120 UAH Available from Mondays to Fridays – 12.30pm to 3.00pm Salad Bar Starting from 120 UAH Available from Mondays to Fridays – 12.30pm to 3.00pm A La Carte Available from Mondays to Saturdays.

BRUNCH WITH BENEFITS BEGINS Sunday, May 13th Starting at 730 UAH per person Champagne on offer!

Chocolate & Bed Making Classes for Kids Lounge DJ from 12pm to 3pm CORPORATE DEALS LAUNCH From May 15th please e-mail kyv.thestrand@fairmont.com for more information

Vintage Cocktail Bar

CANAPES & MARTINIS Canapes & Martinis for 2 Hours @ 250 UAH / person.

1A Naberezhno-Khreshchatytska Street, Kyiv Tel. +380 44 322 8888 Email: kyiv@fairmont.com

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EURO June 9th – July 1st Live EURO Games

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gorchitsacafe Simple French food served in relaxed surroundings Str. Pylypa Orlyka, 6 Tel: +380 44 253 73 58

33-a Druzhby Narodiv Blvd.

tel.: 285-9999 285-8708

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N E W W O R D T R A N S L A T I O N S

+ 38 044 200 22 59 www.noveslovo.com

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