What's On Kyiv Issue 42 2011

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What’s Up

Dear Viktor Fedorovych, J

ust dropping you a quick line, as we haven’t heard from you in ages. We read recently that you’ve abandoned the idea of Europe (let’s not go into that) and have fully embraced the Russia-dominated CIS customs unions. Now that you’ve done an about-turn on your 5-year strategy, we thought you may be in need of some quick advice, given that your new lifelong partners include such mighty world powers as Kazakhstan, Tajikistan and Kyrgyzstan. As always, What’s On is here to help, and can offer you some information on the nations to whom you’ve strapped our economic future.

Let’s start with the most positive, Kazakhstan. The leader, Nursultan Nazarbayev, came to power in 1989 as the head of the Communist Party, and is still there. He’s the type of leader you will relate to. Not only is he President, he’s also Commander-in-Chief of the armed forces, and can veto any legislation passed by parliament.

He’s also popular. In the April 2011 elections he got 95.54% of the vote! Economically, Kazakhstan is all about oil and gas. The US, Russia, China and Europe are all vying for a stake, and export pipelines go in all directions. It also has large supplies of chromium, lead, zinc, manganese, copper, coal, iron, gold and diamonds, so take note, Viktor: this one’s a good country to keep in with. In terms of traditions, they’re into bride kidnapping (don’t ask) and asking the spirit of the lamb for permission to eat its flesh. Both are worth remembering when you’re there.

In Kyrgyzstan the story’s not quite as bright. Almost 5% of parliamentarians have been assassinated in recent years, and many government characters remain linked to organised crime. To make matters worse, something akin to civil/ethnic war broke out last year, and 300,000 people were displaced. The UN had to call for a ‘humanitarian corridor’ to help those affected, and described the

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situation as a “tinder-box”. Economically, Kyrgyzstan is the second poorest country in Central Asia and has some of the highest levels of corruption in the world. It has negligible oil and gas reserves, but there does seem to be a lot of gold. Culturally, they live in round tents and tend sheep, horses and yaks. Wrestling is popular, as is (again) bride kidnapping.

Last but not least is Tajikistan, which also suffered a civil war, in which the two sides were prodded along by Russia and Iran. Tajikistan is even poorer than Kyrgyzstan and the economy is fragile, largely owing to corruption and economic mismanagement. International assistance is frequently needed and 20% of the population lives on less than $1.25 per day. Drug trafficking is a major source of income, as Tajikistan acts as a transit country for Afghan narcotics. Healthcare is virtually non-existent, and Tajikistan has the dubious honour of being one of the only countries in the world where polio is on the increase. More generally, journalists are obstructed from reporting, no public criticism of the regime is tolerated, and all direct protest is severely suppressed.

Government is a one-stop shop, and opposition parties regularly boycott elections. The only remaining ‘opponents’ all but endorse the president.

So there you have it Viktor: your new economic partners. We're sure most would agree they sound like a promising bunch, and whilst slightly different from Paris and Vienna, you could well have made a wise choice hanging Ukraine’s political future on such a decent group. But remember, if you ever wish to change your mind, alll you need to do is call.

Yours sincerely, What’s On

15.11.2011 18:32:55

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This Week in History Win or Lose, Watch the Draw The EPP Invites Ukraine

Yulia Tymoshenko has been sent an invitation to the European People’s Party Congress in Marseille this December to attend the 20th meeting of the EPP Prime Ministers and Heads of State. EPP President Wilfried Martens will be heading the event and even included a personal note in the invite that read: “I am admiring your strength and look forward to seeing you at the Congress.”

As the largest and most influential Europeanlevel political party, this could have been a positive step toward EU integration. Stuck in a jail cell that includes little more than a few beds, a small refrigerator and TV set, however, it doesn’t look like Tymoshenko will be going anywhere anytime soon.

While the bill turning her most recent conviction into a less serious economic misdemeanor (currently being considered by parliament) will more than likely get the thumbs down, she is also suffering from sever back pain, for which the authorities are refusing treatment. It’s okay, though, because state-run doctors (who are paid less than a cashier at Puzata Khata, turning many of them just as corrupt as the people running the country) have examined her and say she is still fit for interrogation. Thank God! We were worried that perhaps a little exploitation may have been afoot.

We are ecstatic that state-run doctors have the whole thing under control.

Lonely Planet Says Ukraine is Worth Visiting!

According to The Lonely Planet guidebook, Ukraine is on the Top-10 list of places worth visiting for 2012! Classifying the country as an unknown landmass which is little more than a question mark to many, the flora and fauna found along the Crimean peninsula along with fabulously fun Odesa and culturally cool Kyiv are just some of the highlights.

A few of the other countries to have made the cut for the upcoming year include Myanmar, Uganda, Jordan and Bhutan. With Ukraine hosting the Euro 2012 championships next year, however, it’s not surprising we nabbed third place among the dozens that could have appeared. But then we’ve also got beer, which “is cheaper than water”, and is of course an extremely important consideration whenever one contemplates a trip abroad.

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Ukraine is feeling the fervour of Euro 2012, especially since the draw to see who will be playing whom and where is coming up fast! While the entire city won’t fit into Palace Ukraine this 2 December, the ceremony will be broadcast on large screens on Maidan Nezalezhnosti here in Kyiv as a well as the central square in Warsaw.

As well as run-down on the who, where and when for the championships this summer, the stage will be set up where live performances from Jamala, the Virsky dance ensemble and a world famous special guest star will round out the evening. Get into the football spirit – see you on Maidan!

23 November 1708

The Russian Orthodox Church denounces Ukrainian Hetman Ivan Mazepa for his political ideologies. The denunciation came after Mazepa signed an agreement with the Swedish King in search of independence from the Russian Empire. Russia considered the agreement a betrayal and condemns the whole ordeal to this day.

22 November 1960

The Komunar Zaporizhya car factory releases their first vehicle, the Zaporozhets.

This particular car became a legendary machine during the Soviet years, even though it elicits smirks and smiles from anyone it encounters on the streets today.

The Cat Came Back

Despite the game of cat and mouse Ukraine and Russia were playing last week, it looks as though the cheese has been cut, dangled and gobbled up. It’s a smelly kind of cheese in the form of natural gas. But as it gives Ukraine a bit of an edge in terms of quantity and price, we’ll take it.

Ukraine has averaged $414 per 1000m3 in recent months, which, as we reported last week is compared to $320 – $360 for other European countries. According to the Vice Prime Minister for Economic Development and Trade of Ukraine this week, however, the country will receive a significantly lower natural gas price for 2012. There are those who speculate this price may even come into effect by the end of November, which has to make us just a little suspicious.

Tymoshenko is in jail for supposedly being unable to secure a decent price in 2009. Ukraine needs the next IMF tranche but will likely only be able to get it with lower gas prices. Plus there’s the whole discussion over the association agreement at the moment, which would look a whole lot better with both of these two items confirmed. Is there some kind of VooDoo magic at work or is Russia back as the big fat cat with a block of cheese? All we can do is wait to find out.

22 November 2004

The peaceful Ukrainian Orange Revolution begins. No mater how disappointed people may have been or continue to feel following this great period in Ukrainian history, the revolution will be positively remembered.

In commemoration, 22 November has been appointed Day of Freedom.

18 November 2005

The US Senate annuls the Jackson-Vanik amendment for Ukraine. The amendment was used as a means of restricting trade between the US and other former members of the USSR (states that limited emigration rights and basic human rights of its citizens).

Influenza to Hit Ukraine Hard

Eliciting a stampede to pharmacies all over the country, Health Minister Oleksandr Anischenko has warned the first wave of influenza will hit the country in the next couple of weeks. In fact, the Ministry of Health is expecting three strains of the flu this year, which means boxes of Teraflu will no doubt be the most popular item on Christmas lists this year. While no cases have been registered so far, Anischenko says everyone should be prepared. We suggest you stock up now.

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This Week Theatre & Classical Music 18

An Introduction to the Orchestra

An Evening of Classical Music Featuring Lipinska (mezzosoprano), Roy (flute), Reutova (piano), Koshuba (organ) Works by Bach, Bellini, Rachmaninoff, Filippenko Time: 19.30 National House of Organ and Chamber Music (V Vasylkivska 77) 528-3186

24 November at 19.00

Friday

An Evening of 20th Century Classical Music Featuring Bondarenko (piano), Demin (clarinet), Vitruk (bassoon) Works by Rachmaninoff, Poulenc, Jolivet, Karabits Time: 20.00 Master Klass Cultural Centre (Lavrska 16) 594-1063 My Love and My Sorrow Featuring Triada Classic Vocal Ensemble, Matviishyn (soprano), Bondarchuk (soprano), Dobrovolska (mezzo-soprano), Levytska (piano) Time: 19.30 Sophia Kyivska Ukrainian Philharmonic Society (Andriivskiy Uzviz 23) 587-7490 Piano On The Grass Pay in 2 acts Time: 19.00 I Franko Ukrainian Drama Theatre (Ivana Franka 3) 279-5921 Quartet for Two Comedy in 2 acts Time: 19.00 Molody Theatre (Prorizna 17) 278-7392 A Marriage Made in Heaven Pages from War and Peace Time: 20.00 L Ukrainka Russian Drama Theatre (B Khmelnytskoho 5) 234-4223 Lolita Drama in 2 acts Time: 19.00 Drama & Comedy Theatre on the Dnipro (Brovarskiy Pr 25) 517-1955 The Girl w/ Matches Time: 19.00 Time: 19.00 Dakh Modern Art Theatre (V Vasylkivska 136) 529-4062

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Saturday n Evening of A Shimanovsky Music Featuring National Symphony Orchestra of Ukraine, Dumka National Chapel Choir, Broja (Poland, piano) Time: 19.00 National Philharmonic of Ukraine (Volodymyrskiy Uzviz 2) 278-1697

18-24 November 2011

Three Centuries of British Classical Music, Master Klass Cultural Centre (Lavrska 16)

The Master Klass Cultural Centre presents the 7th concert in its series of Three Centuries of British Classical Music.

Works by Benjamin Britten, Percy Granger and Henry Wood will be performed by the Collegium Kyiv symphony orchestra which will no doubt be a great treat as compositions from the great Foggy Albion have rarely made it this far east. Adults, children, even pets with a musical ear are invited out this evening – don’t miss out on this opportunity to expand your cultural education.

For tickets or more information call 594-1063.

An Evening of Chamber/ Instrumental Masterpieces Featuring local young musicians Time: 19.30 Sophia Kyivska Ukrainian Philharmonic Society (Andriivskiy Uzviz 23) 587-7490

An Evening of Chamber Music Featuring Kyiv Acoustic Trio Time: 19.00 House of Actors (Yaroslaviv Val 7) 253-8247/2081

The Anthem To Democratic Youth Pay in 2 acts Time: 19.00 I Franko Ukrainian Drama Theatre (Ivana Franka 3) 279-5921

Sunday

The Fourth Sister Black comedy in 2 acts Time: 19.00 Molody Theatre (Prorizna 17) 278-7392 Last Love Melodrama in 2 acts Time: 18.00 A Profitable Place Comedy in 5 acts Time: 19.00 Edith Piaf: Life in Pink Play Time: 20.00 L Ukrainka Russian Drama Theatre (B Khmelnytskoho 5) 234-4223 In the Drumming Lane History of the railroad in 27 scenes Time: 19.00 Suzirya Theatre (Yaroslaviv Val 16) 212-4188 Anna Karenina A chronicle of passion & sin Time: 19.00 Drama & Comedy Theatre on the Dnipro (Brovarskiy Pr 25) 517-1955 The Love Den/Ukrainian Decameron Theatre of laughs & sins Time: 19.00 Dakh Modern Art Theatre (V Vasylkivska 136) 529-4062

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An Evening of the Music of Love Featuring Sofia String Quartet, Pushkarska (violin), Markiv (violin), Kuzmenko (viola), Myastkovska (cello) Time: 19.30 Sophia Kyivska Ukrainian Philharmonic Society (Andriivskiy Uzviz 23) 587-7490 An Evening of Commemoration Featuring National Academic Orchestra of Folk Instruments Poetry by Ivan Kovalenko Time: 19.00 National Philharmonic of Ukraine (Volodymyrskiy Uzviz 2) 278-1697 Cinderella Ballet in 3 acts Time: 19.00 National Opera Theatre of Ukraine (Volodymyrska 50) 279-1169 Shelmenko the Drayman Comedy in 2 acts Time: 12.00 Piano On The Grass Pay in 2 acts Time: 19.00 I Franko Ukrainian Drama Theatre (Ivana Franka 3) 279-5921 Don Juan Mythological comedy in 2 acts Time: 19.00 Molody Theatre (Prorizna 17) 278-7392

Nord-Ost. The Future Shows Play in 2 acts Time: 18.00 Strange Missis Savage Tragic comedy in 2 acts Time: 18.00 Julia@Romeo.com (Norway Today) Romantic drama Time: 20.00 L Ukrainka Russian Drama Theatre (B Khmelnytskoho 5) 234-4223 The Single Lady Musical fairytale Time: 19.00 Suzirya Theatre (Yaroslaviv Val 16) 212-4188 You, Whom My Soul Loves Erotic drama in 2 acts Time: 15.00 Drama & Comedy Theatre on the Dnipro (Brovarskiy Prospect 25) 517-1955 The Love Den/Ukrainian Decameron Theatre of laughs & sins Time: 19.00 Dakh Modern Art Theatre (V Vasylkivska 136) 529-4062

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Monday An Evening of Classical Music Featuring Kyiv Chamber Ensemble Works by Chopin, Shubert, Venyavsky Time: 19.30 National House of Organ and Chamber Music (V Vasylkivska 77) 528-3186 Indian Summer Lyrical comedy in 2 acts Time: 19.00 L Ukrainka Russian Drama Theatre (B Khmelnytskoho 5) 234-4223

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Tuesday Lithuanian Chyurlyonis String Quartet Works by Haydn, Chyurlyonis, Latenas Time: 19.00 National Philharmonic of Ukraine (Volodymyrskiy Uzviz 2) 278-1697

An Evening of Organ and Vocal Music Featuring Chikirov (lyrical baritone), Reutova (piano), Kalynovska (organ) Time: 19.30 National House of Organ and Chamber Music (V Vasylkivska 77) 528-3186 The Dream Orchestra Jazz performance by Oleh Menshykov Time: 19.00 National Opera Theatre of Ukraine (Volodymyrska 50) 279-1169 In Lurid Darkness Drama in 1 act Time: 19.00 Molody Theatre (Prorizna 17) 278-7392 Mrs. Minister Comedy in 4 acts Time: 19.00 Farewell Tango Comedy in 2 acts Time: 20.00 L Ukrainka Russian Drama Theatre (B Khmelnytskoho 5) 234-4223

n Evening of A Spiritual Music Featuring Lyatoshynsky Classical Music Ensemble Works by Bach Time: 19.30 National House of Organ and Chamber Music (V Vasylkivska 77) 528-3186 The Dream Orchestra Jazz performance by Oleh Menshykov Time: 19.00 National Opera Theatre of Ukraine (Volodymyrska 50) 279-1169 Zorba the Greek Play in 2 acts Time: 19.00 I Franko Ukrainian Drama Theatre (Ivana Franka 3) 279-5921 The Right of Love Comedy in 2 acts Time: 19.00 Molody Theatre (Prorizna 17) 278-7392

Guests Come At Midnight Play in 2 acts Time: 19.00 Drama & Comedy Theatre on the Dnipro (Brovarskiy Pr 25) 517-1955

1001 Passions/The Little Things in Life Tragic comedy Time: 20.00 L Ukrainka Russian Drama Theatre (B Khmelnytskoho 55) 234-4223

An Evening of Classical Music Works by Chopin, Beethoven, Shostakovich Time: 19.00 House of Actors (Yaroslaviv Val 7) 253-8247/2081

Mr. X Operetta in 2 acts Time: 19.00 Kyiv Operetta (V Vasylkivska 53/3) 287-6257

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Wednesday An Evening of Vocal and Wind Music Featuring National Academic Wind Orchestra, Kondrashevska (soprano), Titkin (baritone) Works of Bach, Dvorak, Gershwin Time: 19.00 National Philharmonic of Ukraine (Volodymyrskiy Uzviz 2) 278-1697

Vasya Should Phone Russian drama Time: 19.00 Drama & Comedy Theatre on the Dnipro (Brovarskiy Pr 25) 517-1955 An Evening of Chamber Music Featuring Khreshchatyk Chamber Choir Works by Skoryk, Stetsenko Time: 19.00 House of Actors (Yaroslaviv Val 7) 253-8247/2081

From Tbilisi with Love

Tbilisi Big-Band, Palace Ukraine (V Vasylkivska 103)

20 November at 19.00

The Tbilisi Big-Band is often considered one of Europe’s best orchestras. Having mastered almost all genres of music out there – from beloved popular hits to sophisticated instrumental compositions – they have brightened concert halls the world over. Assisting them this evening will be the lovely Olha Kryukova (a woman who sings in 13 languages) as well as one of Georgia’s best ballets. The show here in Kyiv is going to be something special – take it in!

Tickets are 100 – 1000hrv. For more information call 247-2316.

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Thursday An Evening of Classical Music Featuring Nazarenko (soprano), Sydorenko (organ, piano) Works by Vivaldi, Bach, Rossini, Borodin Time: 19.30 National House of Organ and Chamber Music (V Vasylkivska 77) 528-3186 An Evening of Musical Dialogues – Ukraine/ Austria Featuring Kyivska Kamerata National Ensemble, Safonov (violin) Works of Haydn, Silvestrov Time: 19.00 National Philharmonic of Ukraine (Volodymyrskiy Uzviz 2) 278-1697 Sleeping Beauty Ballet in 3 acts Time: 19.00 National Opera Theatre of Ukraine (Volodymyrska 50) 279-1169 Quartet-a-tete & Con Tutti Instrumenti A 1-act ballet and divertissement by the KMB Time: 19.00 Kyiv Theatre of Opera & Ballet for Children & Youth (Mezhyhirska 2) 425-3116 Storm Tragic-comedy in 2 acts Time: 19.00 I Franko Ukrainian Drama Theatre (Ivana Franka 3) 279-5921 A Man and Eternity Philosophical comedy in 2 acts Time: 19.00 Molody Theatre (Prorizna 17) 278-7392 The Leaning Tower of Pisa Farce in 2 acts Time: 18.00 The Very Married Taxi-Driver Comedy in 2 acts Time: 19.00 Fat Swine Play in 1 act Time: 20.00 L Ukrainka Russian Drama Theatre (B Khmelnytskoho 5) 234-4223 The Sorochynskiy Fair Operetta in 2 acts Time: 19.00 Kyiv Operetta (V Vasylkivska 53/3) 287-6257 An evening of Vocal Music Featuring Telnyuk Sisters Time: 19.00 Suzirya Theatre (Yaroslaviv Val 16) 212-4188 Notes of a Crazy Man Mon spectacle Time: 19.00 House of Actors (Yaroslaviv Val 7) 253-8247/2081

: What's On Recommended

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Live Music

18-24 November 2011 Tartila (cover band) Time: 20.00 Admission: call and check Porter (Kostelna 4) 278-0490

Yukhym Dym (cover band) Time: 21.00 Admission: free Route 66 (Zhylyanska 87/30) 239-3865

Geiser (pop-rock) Time: 22.00 Admission: free Art Club 44 (Khreshchatyk 44b) 279-4137

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Abbey Road (cover band) Time: 21.30 Admission: call and check Porter (Mishuhy 3a) 536-9979

Bangladesh Orchestra (cover band) Time: 21.00 Admission: call and check Bochka Khmilna (B Khmelnytskoho 3b) 390-6106

Sunday Soyuz 44 (jazz) Time: 22.00 Admission: 40hrv Art Club 44 (Khreshchatyk 44b) 279-4137 Trutni, Bila Vezha (rock) Time: 20.00 Admission: 50hrv Bochka Pyvna (Moskovskiy Pr 17/1) 461-8788

25 Years In Orbit

Vopli Vidoplyasova (pop-rock, folk), Palace Sport (Sportyvna Pl 1)

20 November at 19.00

Appearing on Ukraine’s music scene 25 years ago (when, to be honest, there was little more than pop and folk available), Vopli Vidoplyasova introduced a new genre to the country – rock. Turning out 13 CDs and DVDs over the course of their career, there just isn’t enough time to pack everything into this upcoming three-hour show. To that end, VV has chosen the best, and inviting friends Lyapis Trubetskoy, Boombox, Gorchitza and @Traktor to join them on stage, this is going to be one celebration you'll want to be a part of.

Tickets are 100 – 400hrv. For more information call 246-7406.

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Friday Esperanza (cover band) Time: 22.00 Admission: 50hrv Art Club 44 (Khreshchatyk 44b) 279-4137 Lucky Band, Angie Nears (cover bands) Time: 21.00 Admission: call and check Bochka Khmilna (B Khmelnytskoho 3b) 390-6106 Hot Guys (cover band) Time: 21.00 Admission: call and check Bochka Pyvna (Moskovskiy Pr 17/1) 461-8788 Angie Nears, Tres Deseos (cover bands) Time: 21.00 Admission: call and check Bochka Pyvna (Khreshchatyk 19a) 459-0551 Mad Heads XL, Red Rocks (rockabilly, cover band) Time: 22.00 Admission: 75hrv Docker’s ABC (KhreshchatykZankovetskoi 15/4) 278-1717 D Black, Partyzanski Vytivky (cover bands) Time: 22.00 Admission: call and check Docker Pub (Bohatyrska 25) 451-8528

Brunettes Shoot Blondes (pop-rock) Time: 20.00 Admission: free Divan (Besarabska 2) 235-7366

D Black, Crazy Train (cover bands) Time: 22.00 Admission: 75hrv Docker’s ABC (KhreshchatykZankovetskoi 15/4) 278-1717

Stereo Tipy (cover band) Time: 21.30 Admission: call and check Porter (Mishuhy 3a) 536-9979

Judas Priest & Scorpions Tribute, More Khuana (tribute, cover band) Time: 22.00 Admission: call and check Docker Pub (Bohatyrska 25) 451-8528

Ivan Blues (cover band) Time: 20.00 Admission: call and check Porter (Kostelna 4) 278-0490

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Saturday Est Est Est (Russia), Bangladesh Orchestra (pop-rock, cover band) Time: 22.00 Admission: call and check Art Club 44 (Khreshchatyk 44b) 279-4137 The Pollock, Washing Tones, Some Like it Hot, Carte Blanche (pop-rock, cover bands) Time: 21.00 Admission: 50hrv Bochka Khmilna (B Khmelnytskoho 3b) 390-6106

Mojo Jo Jo (cover band) Time: 20.30 Admission: free Ciro’s Pomodoro (S Rustaveli 12) 221-4545

Anna Chaikovskaya & AQ (jazz) Time: 21.00 Admission: 80-100hrv Bochka Pyvna (Moskovskiy Pr 17/1) 461-8788

Vasya Club, Animals’ Session (cover bands) Time: 21.00 Admission: free Route 66 (Zhylyanska 87/30) 239-3865

Carte Blanche, Some Like to Hot (cover bands) Time: 21.00 Admission: call and check Bochka Pyvna (Khreshchatyk 19a) 459-0551

The Bitch (cover band) Time: 21.30 Admission: free Ciro’s Pomodoro (S Rustaveli 12) 221-4545 ross B Band, Minsk, C Red Rocks (cover band) Time: 21.00 Admission: free Route 66 (Zhylyanska 87/30) 239-3865 Rock Four (cover band) Time: 21.30 Admission: call and check Porter (Mishuhy 3a) 536-9979

Tex-Mex Co (cover band) Time: 22.00 Admission: call and check Docker’s ABC (KhreshchatykZankovetskoi 15/4) 278-1717 Angie Nears (cover band) Time: 21.00 Admission: free Docker Pub (Bohatyrska 25) 451-8528 In Love (pop-rock) Time: 20.00 Admission: free Route 66 (Zhylyanska 87/30) 239-3865 Rock Fest (cover bands) Time: 21.30 Admission: call and check Porter (Mishuhy 3a) 536-9979

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Tuesday Jazz Karaoke Night (karaoke, jazz) Time: 22.00 Admission: 40hrv Art Club 44 (Khreshchatyk 44b) 279-4137 YouCrane, Brandberry (pop-rock) Time: 20.00 Admission: 40hrv Bochka Pyvna (Moskovskiy Pr 17/1) 461-8788 Tres Deseos (cover band) Time: 22.00 Admission: 20hrv Docker’s ABC (KhreshchatykZankovetskoi 15/4) 278-1717 Night Block (cover band) Time: 21.30 Admission: free Docker Pub (Bohatyrska 25) 451-8528 Lunniy Zagar (cover band) Time: 20.30 Admission: free Ciro’s Pomodoro (S Rustaveli 12) 221-4545

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Monday

More Khuana (cover band) Time: 21.00 Admission: free Route 66 (Zhylyanska 87/30) 239-3865

Pavel Litvinenko (jazz) Time: 22.00 Admission: free Art Club 44 (Khreshchatyk 44b) 279-4137

Slow Roll (cover band) Time: 21.30 Admission: call and check Porter (Mishuhy 3a) 536-9979

Dr FeelGood (cover band) Time: 22.00 Admission: free Docker’s ABC (KhreshchatykZankovetskoi 15/4) 278-1717

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Night Block (cover band) Time: 21.30 Admission: free Docker Pub (Bohatyrska 25) 451-8528 Good, Bad, Evil (cover band) Time: 20.30 Admission: free Ciro’s Pomodoro (S Rustaveli 12) 221-4545

Wednesday Skillet (US, Christian rock, post grunge) Time: 19.00 Admission: 290hrv Bingo Club (Pr Peremohy 112) 424-2555

Lucky Band (cover band) Time: 21.00 Admission: call and check Bochka Pyvna (Khreshchatyk 19a) 459-0551 Rocking Wolves (cover band) Time: 22.00 Admission: 20hrv Docker’s ABC (KhreshchatykZankovetskoi 15/4) 278-1717 Crazy Train (cover band) Time: 21.30 Admission: free Docker Pub (Bohatyrska 25) 451-8528 More Khuana (cover band) Time: 21.30 Admission: free Ciro’s Pomodoro (S Rustaveli 12) 221-4545 Dyadya Vasya (cover band) Time: 21.00 Admission: free Route 66 (Zhylyanska 87/30) 239-3865 Inlove (cover band) Time: 21.30 Admission: call and check Porter (Mishuhy 3a) 536-9979 Abbey Road (cover band) Time: 20.00 Admission: call and check Porter (Kostelna 4) 278-0490

Rote Rock, Zhyteli Solnca, NSK, Vosmiy Den, Red Rocks (funk, cover band) Time: 21.00 Admission: 30hrv Bochka Khmilna (B Khmelnytskoho 3b) 390-6106 Bangladesh Orchestra (cover band) Time: 21.00 Admission: call and check Bochka Pyvna (Moskovskiy Pr 17/1) 461-8788 Chill Out (cover band) Time: 21.00 Admission: call and check Bochka Pyvna (Khreshchatyk 19a) 459-0551 Ruky v Bryuky (cover band) Time: 22.00 Admission: 30hrv Docker’s ABC (KhreshchatykZankovetskoi 15/4) 278-1717 Segodnya Nochyu, Mr Och and his Root Boys (cover bands) Time: 22.00 Admission: call and check Docker Pub (Bohatyrska 25) 451-8528 Some Like it Hot (cover band) Time: 20.30 Admission: free Ciro’s Pomodoro (S Rustaveli 12) 221-4545 Mojo Jo Jo (cover band) Time: 21.00 Admission: free Route 66 (Zhylyanska 87/30) 239-3865 Partyzanski Vytivky (cover band) Time: 21.30 Admission: call and check Porter (Mishuhy 3a) 536-9979 Juke Box (cover band) Time: 20.00 Admission: call and check Porter (Kostelna 4) 278-0490

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Thursday Pink Floyd Party (cover bands) Time: 22.00 Admission: 40hrv Art Club 44 (Khreshchatyk 44b) 279-4137

Mad Heads (rockabilly, rock’n’roll) Time: 20.00 Admission: 150–300hrv Crystal Hall (Dniprovskiy Spusk 1) 538-0100

The Voice of a Generation

Toto Cutugno (Italy, pop), Palace Ukraine (V Vasylkivska 103)

19 November at 19.00

Already into his late 60s, Italian singer Toto Cutugno is still as energetic as he ever was. And his voice? Even more romantic. Perhaps his secret has to do with his love songs, the words from which have no doubt kept him young and vibrant. Writing too is a passion of this talented musician, examples of which can be found on albums by famous singers Joe Dassin and Dalida. Take in his concert this weekend, he’ll make sure it’s one you won’t soon forget!

Tickets are 200 – 1550hrv. For more information call 247−2444. : What's On Recommended

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10

This Week Art

18-24 November 2011

The Footstep of Fate

Exhibition of paintings by Petro Bevza, Tryptykh Art Gallery (Desyatynna 13)

From 18 November

Petro Bevza is an interesting Ukrainian artist whose painting technique and originality combine to create a fusion of subtle artistry and inimitable style. As witness to a world that offers an endless array of ideas, this next exhibition is inspired by the footprint of the Spirit. Be it a print of God or a picture of Buddha, it is the infusion, the power and the attractiveness of these pieces that keeps people coming back. In search of salvation, hope or maybe purification, Bevza suggests it all serves the same aim – come and experience it!

For more information call 279-2909.

Running Towards Exhibition of paintings by Antonina Fedorets Wunjo-Art Gallery (Heroiv Stalingrada 10a) Until 2 December 228-6620

Retrospective Paintings by Serhiy Shyshko National Art Museum (Hrushevskoho 6) Until 4 December 278-7454

Form of Emptiness Exhibition of works by Ukrainian artists Bottega Gallery (Mykhailivska 22b) Until 19 November 279-5353

Personal Exhibition Paintings by Yevhen Shapovalov Master Klass Culture Centre Gallery (Lavrska 16) Until 8 December 594-1063

Forgotten Drawing Exhibition of paintings by Roman Zhuk Mironova Gallery (Olhynska 6) Until 27 November 067-723-6709

Personal Exhibition Paintings by Anatoliy Kryvolap Mystetska Zbirka Gallery (Tereshchenkivska 13) Until 30 November 050-136-4737

Talks Exhibition of paintings by Andriy Sahaydakovsky Ya Gallery (Voloska 55\57) Until 5 December 537-3351

Family

Plasticine and Macaroni

Master Classes at Znaika (Yaroslavska 35/35)

20 November at 11.00 & 14.00

This is the time of year when many venues throughout the city start to get a little creative with their events.

Which means you should take them all in! Working with plasticine, Znaika artistic experts are going to teach your kids about mixing colours, experimentation and making new toys.

Having played around in playdough, stick around for the macaroni master class. You don’t need to bring your appetite for this one – macaroni train sets and tea sets are on the agenda. It’s a grand way to keep your kids focused and engaged over the weekend.

Admission is 40hrv and 50hrv respectively. For more information call 425-1690.

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Puppet Theatre Hrushevskoho 1A (metro Maidan Nezalezhnosti) 278-5808

Circus Peremohy 2 (metro Vokzalna) 486-3927 www.circus.com.ua

Municipal Puppet Theatre Mytropolska 1 513-1500

Zoo Peremohy Pr. 32 241-7769 www.zoo.kiev.ua

Marionette Theatre Sahaidochnoho 29/3 (metro Poshtova Ploshcha) 417-3058 http://marionet.com.ua

Dyvosvit 4D cinema, children’s labyrinth, attractions Marshala Malinovskoho 24/10 502-0088 www.dyvosvit.ua

Butterfly Ultramarine Cinema, children’s playground, bowling, arcade Uritskoho 1A (metro Vokzalna) 206-0350 www.kino-butterfly.com.ua Kobzov Circus 239-2181 Prospekt Pobedy 82 www.circus-kobzov.com.ua Mystical-Aquarium Centre Koshytsa 8A (metro Poznyaky) 502-1796 www.aquariumfish.com.ua

Nemo Dolphinarium Akademika Glushkova 9 520-5550 www.nemokiev.com Kyiv Planetarium Chervonoarmiyska 57/3 287-7508 www.planet.org.ua/about.html Aquapark Terminal Aquapark, shopping and entertainment centre Kyivska 316 in the town of Brovary 200-1450 www.aquapark-terminal.com.ua

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Friday Snow White & the 7 Dwarfs Ballet in 2 acts Time: 13.00 Kyiv Theatre of Opera & Ballet for Children & Youth 425-3116 Chief Redskin Tragic comedy in 2 acts for children 7+ Time: 12.00 Lypska Youth Theatre 253-6219

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Snow White & the 7 Dwarfs Ballet in 2 acts Time: 12.00 & 15.00 Kyiv Theatre of Opera & Ballet for Children & Youth 425-3116

Upside Down Game-fairytale in 1 act Time: 12.00 Lypska Youth Theatre 253-6219

Pippi-Longstocking Musical Time: 12.00 The Bicycle with Red Wheels Time: 13.00 Lypska Youth Theatre 253-6219

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23

Wednesday

Sunday

Saturday Fairytales for Kind Hearts Puppet-play for children 4+ Time: 11.00 Ivasyk-Telesyk Puppet-play for children 3+ Time: 13.00 Cinderella Puppet-play for children 4+ Time: 15.00 Aladdin’s Magic Lamp Puppet-play in Russian for children 4+ Time: 17.00 Kyiv Puppet Theatre 278-0566 Yasnogorodskya Ostrich Farm Podlesnaya 32, Yasnohorodska (30km outside of Kyiv) 782-3240 www.ostrich.com.ua Hopak in Kyiv Hopak Training Centres 332-7747 or 067-933-3244 Visit http://hopak.kiev.ua/ua/ Nabeg Horseback Riding Centre Vishgorodska 85 067-712-3384 http://www.loshadi.kiev.ua/

Tales about Tsar Saltan Opera in 2 acts Time: 12.00 Kyiv Theatre of Opera & Ballet for Children & Youth 425-3116

The Gosling Puppet-play in Russian for children 3+ Time: 11.00 The Frog Princess Puppet-play for children 3+ Time: 13.00 Marika and the Bear Puppet-play for children 3+ Time: 15.00 Peter Pan Puppet-play for children 5+ Time: 17.00 Kyiv Puppet Theatre 278-0566

Kyiv Horse Race Track Akademika Glushkova 10 266-2223 State Museum of Toys Klovskiy 8 253-5400 Interesniy Kiev Tours in and around Kyiv in English! 491-1176 or 068-121-4458 Visit www.interesniy.kiev.ua/new/ tour/english

Pollyanna Drama in 2 acts Time: 12.00 Lypska Youth Theatre 253-6219

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Thursday Pollyanna Drama in 2 acts Time: 12.00 Lypska Youth Theatre 253-6219

Pyrohovo Open Air Museum Folk architecture and life Marshrutka #3/156 from metro Lybydska 526-5542 Mamaeva Sloboda Outdoor Cossack Museum Mykhayla Dontsya 2, Otradniy region 361-9848 www.mamajeva-sloboda.ua

Nivky Park Children’s playground, rifle ranges, walking paths, cafes Prospect Pobedy 82 Kurenevskiy Park Playgrounds, attractions, cafes Frunze 134 National Botanical Garden Open year round Timiryazevskaya 1

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Nightlife

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18-24 November 2011

No Bible Study Fellowship Here

Canal M22 Time: 22.00 Admission: call and check Shooters (Moskovska 22) 254-2024

BSF Massive Festival, Home Concept Night Club (Perova 2)

18 November at 22.00

The Black Star Foundation record label is bringing together some top DJs for your upcoming Saturday night pleasure. To start, there’s Bar9 – the season’s biggest fad of dubstep culture in London. Then there’s Dylan – the dark-hard ghetto-funk fusion DJ also from the UK. DJ K comes all the way from Canada and will keep the room pumping with old school, new school ragga-jungle and more. And finally there’s Romania's Freqax – famous for his carbon monoxide performances and his ability to create madness on the dance floor.

Tickets are 120hrv. For more information call 558-2545.

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Friday Sex & Whiskey – Ira Champion Time: 02.00 Admission: call and check White Cocoon (Obolonskiy Pr 1b, Dreamtown) 485-0222 Terror Massive Vol.4 Ball of t Darkness – Mr. Jeton, Dubkraft, Bruno Bananni, D Monk, Sid, Angel, DubPlate, Chris Liberator Time: 23.00 Admission: L-30hrv, G-40hrv Lenin (M Hrinchenko 18) 067-327-0457 Disco Friday – DJs Driver, Nikz Lorenz, Nikolai Nick, SkraTcher Time: 22.00 Admission: before 00.00 L-40, G-50hrv, after L-50hrv, G-60hrv Prime (Nauki 8) 524-2209 Idiot – Valta, Suxxy, Music Trash Brothers, Karasi, Kebe Wild, Bodya Shevchuk Time: 22.00 Admission: 60hrv Cinema Club (Entusiastiv 1) 555-5854 Hit Friday – Flip Time: 19.00 Admission: free Cartel (Shamrilo 23) 494-0734 Student’s Day – DJs Original B, Kayun, Alex Impreza, Sergey Mankovsky, Kryist, Richie Time: 02.00 Admission: 100hrv Arena (Baseina 2a) 093-947-7476 DJ Battle of the Year – DJs Sunny, Tagir Sultanov, Romantique, Indigo Time: 00.00 Admission: call and check Forsage (Harmatna 51a) 232-6780 Kitchen – Nortis (RU), Boshko Beats, Tommy Gun, Timoti Fain, Maya, Add Time: 22.00 Admission: before 00.00 40hrv, after 50rhv Xlib (Frunze 12) 417-3233

Futuristic Emulator Show – Shmushukin, Artur, Future Art Performance Time: 22.00 Admission: before 00.00 L-free, after L-100hrv, G-200hrv Mantra (V Vasylkivska 5) 050-336-2848 Breakdown – DJs Alex Leyton, Unique Time: 22.00 Admission: before 00.00 L-free, after L-30hrv, G-60hrv Lake Club (Revutskoho 2) 098-363-6363 Malina Party – DJ Malena Time: 22.00 Admission: call and check Byblos (Artema 20) 288-1888 Love Is – DJs SunShine, Uzhanskiy Time: 22.00 Admission: 100hrv Tema Fashion Club (Artema 37-41) 486-8727 Burlesuqe Time: 22.00 Admission: before 23.00 L-free, after L-50hrv, G-90hrv Shooters (Moskovska 22) 254-2024 Smile! Smile! Smile! – DJs Fabrique, Rada Noize Time: 22.00 Admission: call and check CD Bar (Pryrichna 11a) 229-8829 TGIF – Andriy Djedjula, DJ Watson Time: 22.00 Admission: before 00.00 L-free, G-50hrv, after L-30hrv, G-70hrv Bionica (Borshchahivska 128a) 232-7296 Live Energy 3: Global Dance Fest – Marcel Woods, Sean Tyas (US), Sarah Howells (UK), Marcus Schossow, Mark Sherry (UK), Diablik, Mr Sunny & Tagir Sultanov Time: 22.00 Admission: 150hrv Stereo Plaza (Kikvidze 17) 222-8040 Gon’s Kitchen: Yaz Party – Tapolsy Time: 22.00 Admission: L-40hrv, G-50hrv Saxon (Trutenko 4) 257-4070

Back to the Future – D’Lux laser show, DJ Eldar, DJ Darchik, Jay Fokin Time: 22.00 Admission: before 23.00 free, after call and check D’Lux (Hrushevskoho 3) 200-9009 Alfred’s Birthday – DJ Alfred, DJ Light, DJ Eva, DJ Bro Time: 22.00 Admission: L-free, G-call and check Sky Bar (V Vasilkiivska 5) 223-8888

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Saturday Alpha Centauri: Music Capture – DJs Ramm, Lesha Golod, Marat K, Sound Killers, David DJ Time: 22.00 Admission: before 00.00 L-30, G-40hrv, after L-50hrv, G-60hrv Prime (Nauki 8) 524-2209 re You Techno – Spectre A (UK), Spartaque, Egor Boss Time: 22.00 Admission: L-60hrv, G-80hrv Forsage (Harmatna 51a) 232-6780 Exclusive R’n’B Party – DJ Stupid, DJ Dima Onage Time: 23.00 Admission: call and check Crystal Hall (Dniprovskiy Spusk 1) 288-5069 Freek Me – DJ Balknosky, DJ Chief MC, DJ ID Crash, DJ Marka Pola Time: 22.00 Admission: L-50hrv, G-60hrv Saxon (Trutenko 4) 257-4070 Mexicano Party – DJ Unique, Special One Time: 22.00 Admission: before 00.00 L-free, G-30hrv, after L-30hrv, G-60hrv Lake Club (Revutskoho 2) 098-363-6363 T-DJ Nicole, DJs Samosud, Lightwave Time: 23.00 Admission: 70hrv Home Concept Night Club (Perova 2) 558-2545

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Tuesday Jose Cuervo Time: 22.00 Admission: call and check Shooters (Moskovska 22) 254-2024

Time to Party – DJ Alex Milano Time: 22.00 Admission: call and check Byblos (Artema 20) 288-1888 LED Night – DJ Runov, Greg Vintage, Afinskaya Time: 22.00 Admission: 100hrv Tema Fashion Club (Artema 37-41) 486-8727

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Sunday Battle Night – DJs Speedy, Pahatam, Senorita Time: 22.00 Admission: 100hrv Tema Fashion Club (Artema 37-41) 486-8727

Celsius Party – Lavika Celcius Time: 22:00 Admission: L-free, G-50hrv Vodka Bar (Globus-2nd line, Maidan Nezalezhnosti) 371-1102

Dance, Dance, Dance – DJs Dasha Dance, SamAnto, Shatyrko Time: 22:00 Admission: free Vodka Bar (Globus-2nd line, Maidan Nezalezhnosti) 371-1102

S Lyokim Parom Time: 22.00 Admission: before 23.00 L-free, after L-50hrv, G-90hrv Shooters (Moskovska 22) 254-2024

R’n’B Boom – Medicine, DJ Lady, DJ Mukvik, DJ Mekhanik Time: 22.00 Admission: L-20hrv, G-30hrv Forsage (Harmatna 51a) 232-6780

Special Instinct – DJ Anastasiya, MC Masha Dance, dangerous and sexy performance Time: 22.00 Admission: before 00.00 L-free, G-50hrv, after L-30hrv, G-70hrv Bionica (Borshchahivska 128a) 232-7296

Phototerapia – Marila Rossa, Kirill Mixer, Spieler, Mitchell Time: 22.00 Admission: before 23.30 L-10, G-15hrv, after L-15hrv, G-30hrv Saxon (Trutenko 4) 257-4070

Kievbass – Pinch (UK), Valta & Mudimbi (Italy), Crim, Noizar, Tenpoint VJs Time: 22.00 Admission: 90hrv Xlib (Frunze 12) 417-3233 D’Lux Club Show – Jay Fokin, Tommy Lee, DJ Eldar, D’Lux show ballet Time: 22.00 Admission: before 23.00 free, after call and check D’Lux (Hrushevskoho 3) 200-9009 Moscow Beat – DJ Kim (Moscow), DJ Key, Sky dance show Time: 23.00 Admission: L-free, G-call and check Sky Bar (V Vasilkiivska 5) 223-8888 Playmodel: Caio Italia – Olya La Grusha, Anna Dianova, Antoni, Lunni Time: 22.00 Admission: 100hrv Crystal Hall (Dniprovskiy Spusk 1) 288-5069

Kindergarten Ladies only before 00.00 Time: 23.00 Admission: before 00.00 L-free, after L-50hrv, G-90hrv Shooters (Moskovska 22) 254-2024

Mix Style – DJ Shtuzer Time: 21.00 Admission: call and check Aura (Vyshgorodskaya 28/1) 237-7023 Disco-Latino Time: 22.00 Admission: call and check Caribbean Club (Kominternu 4) 288-1290 Discoteque of the 80s – DJ Velskiy Time: 21.00 Admission: free Azure (Leontovycha 3) 234-7494

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Wednesday Women’s Feast – MC Klubnichka Time: 21.00 Admission: before 00.00 L-free, after L-50hrv, G-90hrv Shooters (Moskovska 22) 254-2024 Latina Fiesta Party – DJ Stalkera, MC Adam Time: 21.00 Admission: free Azure (Leontovycha 3) 234-7494 Island of Amazonkas Time: 21.00 Admission: call and check Caribbean Club (Kominternu 4) 288-1290

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Thursday

I Love Disco – DJ Saylex, MC Ujeen Time: 22.00 Admission: free Bionica (Borshchahivska 128a) 232-7296

If There Was A Sea Of Beer Time: 21.00 Admission: before 23.00 free, after L-free, G-90hrv Shooters (Moskovska 22) 254-2024

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Ladies Night Time: 21.00 Admission: L-free, G-100hrv Azure (Leontovycha 3) 234-7494

Pivomania – DJ Size Time: 21.00 Admission: call and check Aura (Vyshgorodskaya 28/1) 237-7023

Master Class in DancingMC Adam Time: 21.00 Admission: call and check Aura (Vyshgorodskaya 28/1) 237-7023

Salsatequa Time: 21.00 Admission: before 23.00 free, after L-20hrv, G-50hrv Caribbean Club (Kominternu 4) 288-1290

Disco-Latino Time: 22.00 Admission: call and check Caribbean Club (Kominternu 4) 288-1290

Monday

The Collaboration King

Schiller (Germany, electronic pop, ambient), Crystal Hall (Dniprovskiy Spusk 1)

20 and 21 November at 22.00

Known and known well for his compositions as opposed to his vocals, Schiller is a project that keeps Christopher von Deylen’s days and nights very busy.

Having won an ECHO in 2002 for Best Dance Single, this boy has collaborated with top music-makers such as Sarah Brightman, Enya, Tarja Turunen, Kim Sanders and many many more. As a beloved guest of the Kyiv nightlife scene, everyone should know who he is. Those who may have a bit more trouble placing him can check out one of his most recognised tunes, I Feel You. Tickets are 380 – 1560hrv. For more information call 288-5069. : What's On Recommended

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15.11.2011 18:33:25

Vadym Mishkoriz

12

Kyiv Calamity

Bored At Work?

Let’s Have Some Fun!

Work can be boring, tedious, monotonous, draining, unentertaining and downright suicideinducing at times.

The onset of the winter weather does little to cheer the mood. That’s where What’s On comes in.

A

llow us a moment of your time to introduce you to ways in which both your workplace and morale can benefit from a few simple measures. Managers may not like them. But then what do they know.

Office Sports If employers don’t appreciate the benefits of a healthy workforce, they’re living in the dark ages. That will be your somewhat fiery retort when your boss asks why you’ve cleared the desks and moved them together to play ping-pong. Be sure to remind them too that basketball also enhances the health and wellbeing of staff, and that since normal basketball discriminates against the short, you’re promoting equal opportunities by playing in the office. When you’re using the waste-paper basket as a net and a rolled-up ball of paper to score some three-pointers, remember that you’re not “pissing about” as some may say, but you are in fact taking a stand against discrimination. The list of health-inducing options does not end there. Office darts will improve workplace productivity just as much, and will also encourage team-building when a photo of the boss acts as the board and a bulls eye is the middle of his forehead.

Rearrange the Office While Everyone’s Out Fresh is good. It encourages new ideas and increases productivity. And if your boss doesn’t buy that one, tell them that the cleaners did it.

Photocopy Body Parts and Send Them Off to Everyone You absolutely cannot be blamed for technology being so complicated these days. There is no manual for you to take guidance from either. So it is not your fault that you were unsure as to how it worked, and when you tried to fix it, it ripped your clothing and took humiliating photos of you. You were so humiliated by this technological intrusion into your privacy that you sent the evidence of management’s negligence to colleagues, to warn them that the same could happen to them.

Get Drunk and/or High It’s questionable as to whether drinking late into the evening equates to “being drunk at work” when arguably you did not do the drinking ‘in work’. The same applies to drinking at lunch, because activities undertaken outside the workplace are within the realm of personal privacy and for a manager to question such activities

001_ComicSoon_Wok_42_11_536.indd 12

is invasive and rude. ‘Appearing’ drunk is like saying ‘you appear happy’ which, of course, is not a crime. For them to suggest otherwise is insane.

Have a Fling Working closely with your colleagues allows for the formation of good relationships in the office, something that has been encouraged by management gurus for decades. If your manager is in any doubt as to the sense of this, just pick up any management selfhelp book from the store, point to the relevant page and say you were helping yourself. It shows proactivity.

Arrange for a Stripper to Visit a Male Colleague Bonding or bondage? Let not the cynics have their say. This is fun, and should be encouraged. If you encounter organisational resistance, quietly remind your boss that you’ll order him one the next time he has a birthday. Depending on whether you like the colleague to whom the lovely lady will be plying her affections, you may even consider ordering him a male stripper instead.

Go Shopping If the previous option was for the men, then this one’s for the women. Ladies will be quick to remind any naysayers that part of the unwritten requirements of the workplace is that they look professional. How, they would argue, can a lady do that without spending additional hours actively constructing the required look? Men do not need to have their nails done, nor do they need an array of bags to match their outfit. They have it easy, and simply cannot appreciate the torment of the added pressure a woman faces. Of course, if a lady’s boss is also a lady, then she at least should understand why the work wasn’t done, and why 'nipping out' took over four hours.

Make Voodoo Dolls Severity or levity? That’s the choice managers have if they wish to instil a workplace atmosphere of their choosing. Given that this is the 21st century, we should all be moving towards levity. In attempting to rid the office of the former, you will argue a Voodoo doll of the manager is in order. Just to be on the safe side, you should reassure them this is all just for fun and that – unlike the James Bond film Live and Let Die – you are not using Voodoo to intimidate and control a vast network of submissive followers. Knowing that, they should be fine with it.

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15.11.2011 18:34:05

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The Electrifying, the Legendary Oleh Kulik

Personal exhibition by Oleh Kulik, Mironova Gallery (Olhynska 6)

From 15 December

Remembered for his radical performance called Dog-Man back in the 90s, Oleh Kulik loves to shock his audiences with provocative installations. The Muscovites claim him as their own, but those here in Ukraine know better. Enjoying whatever time he gets to spend in his native Kyiv, he thoroughly enjoys communicating with the country’s young generation of artists. Something you will probably notice should you take in this next post-Soviet contemporary art exhibition of his.

For more information call 277-2406.

Back Home, Acoustically

Gogol Bordello (US, acoustic, punk, folk, rock), Stereo Plaza (Kikvidze 17)

2 December at 20.00

The popularity of Gogol Bordello is not just down to the cultural heritage of its fearless leader, but also, and probably more so, because of the rockin’ music the entire group turns out.

Full to the brim of folk rhythms and ethnic melodies, their next show in Kyiv will be slightly more acoustic. Will they be a shell of what they once were? Or will this evening’s performance rock your world? You’ll have to get tickets to find out!

Tickets are 360 – 620hrv. For more information call 222-8040.

The Man Behind the Soundtrack

Eric Serra (France, pop, instrumental), October Palace (Instytutska 1)

7 December at 19.00

Once Upon a Time in Kyiv

Ennio Morricone (Italy, composer), Palace Ukraine (V Vasylkivska 103)

20 December at 19.00

Ennio Morricone has to be one of the most significant and acknowledged composers of his era. He’s written music for more than 500 movies and television productions, and to that end he’s won two Grammys, two Golden Globes and a whole slew of others. Having sold over 50 million records worldwide and won the love of audiences for his genuine, heart-touching and powerfully impressive compositions, the legendary composer is coming to Kyiv. Joining him will be a 100strong choir as well as an impressive symphony orchestra: it’s going to be the concert of a lifetime – get your ticket today!

Tickets are 350 – 5900hrv. For more information call 247-2316.

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Working in a very specific genre, Eric Serra has been a composer in demand for numerous years.

Writing music not for pop stars but for films, you can find his work on movies such as Luc Besson’s The Fifth Element, Nikita, Leon and James Bond: Golden Eye to name but a few. Playing together with his band RXRA tonight, there will be little in the way of music you don’t recognise – we guarantee it!

Tickets are 150 – 500hrv. For more information call 279-1582.

A New Kind of Fairytale

Masha and the Bear, House of Officers (Hrushevskoho 30/1)

10 and 11 December at 11.00 and 16.00

The story of Masha and the Bear has been told and retold a number of times over the last 15 odd years. Rewritten in the most modern style, a Kyiv theatre troupe will present your children with a new version of a well-known fairytale this December. Fidgety little Masha is going to get into trouble but will there be anyone there to save her? You’ll have to get you and your kids a ticket and get in on the adventure, the music and the fun.

Tickets are 200 – 300hrv. For more information call 253-8072.

Marie + Per = Roxette

Roxette (Sweden, pop), Palace Sport (Sportyvna Pl 1)

6 December at 19.00

Despite rumours that the Swedish duo might be once again packing it in after their 2010 European tour, they are returning to Kyiv with all of their best hits as well as a few new ones. Spending months in the studio working on their eighth album called Charm School, 130 concerts have been scheduled worldwide, and the pair are Looking Sharp. If you didn’t hop aboard the Joyride last year, you’ve got another chance this December – don’t miss out!

Tickets are 190 – 4990hrv. For more information call 246-7406.

Children and More Classical Music Robert Miles (Italy, electronica), For the Holiday Sullivan Room (Prorizna 8) Season 10 December at 23.00 Born to Italian immigrants in Switzerland, Robert Miles wanted to be a part of the music scene as he got older. Working as a DJ in underground Italian clubs and private radio networks, he used all his savings to buy a studio with second-hand equipment where he wrote what is known as his most famous dream trance work, Children. By 1997, more than 5,000,000 copies of the single had been sold worldwide and had won him platinum records in many countries. Remaining under the radar since then, his latest album released in February of this year entitled Th1rt3en includes a mix of progressive rock with ambient and electronic soundscapes. Check it out, and then check him out next month.

Tickets 180 – 500hrv. For more information call 066-485-5555.

The Annual Strauss Concert with the Kyiv Classic Orchestra, National Opera Theatre of Ukraine (Volodymyrska 50)

28 & 29 December at 19.00

The Kyiv Classic Orchestra and maestro Herman Makarenko traditionally present a New Years’ programme of sublime Strauss music.

Included in the mix, ballet and opera compositions always add a magical touch, and are no less important than Strauss himself!

If you have never been privy to one of these enchanted evenings at the Opera House, believe us when we say it is one of the best ways to get you in the holiday spirit. Continue Christmas or start New Year early – either way it’s going to be good.

For tickets or more information call 279-1169.

15.11.2011 18:34:09

Vadym Mishkoriz

18

Take Me Out!

Light and full of life, Beaujolais Nouveau came out this Thursday 17 November with a pop! In a race to see who can get their hands on the first few bottles, Kyivites will no doubt be running around the city this weekend. If we may, let us take the hassle out of your hands. They should remain free, after all, for a glass – or three – of this beautifully bright purple-pink Gamay grape concoction.

Beaujolais Nouveau The Secret of Youth

F

amous for its distinctive taste, Beaujolais Nouveau is a wine produced in the Beaujolais region of France. Thanks to the land and the location, this particular province is always the first to harvest and produce their grapes. Fermented for just a few weeks, the result is what is defined as a fresh new wine traditionally released on the third Thursday of November.

Generating celebrations of all sorts, shouts of “Le Beaujolais Nouveau est arrivé!” can be heard from all four corners of the globe.

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Originally sold in a clear 1L bottle called ‘le pot’, vintners would line up bottles until a metre in length was reached, wherein customers would then purchase the entire lot. Today, its volume has been reduced to a 0.46L bottle. But that just means one needs to purchase a few metres in order to get a true taste for this light-bodied red wine famous for its hints of cherry, raspberry, currant and fig.

As the vin de primeur of France each year, the entire country slows to a halt for a few days as residents take a moment to test out the various vintages. Bistros and cafés fill with patrons eager to get their hands on the ‘best jar’, and a merry atmosphere reigns clear and true.

That same atmosphere is one that becomes more and more festive in our own Ukrainian capital. And helping you out with this heavenly holiday, may we present a guide outlining some of the best places in town to find Beaujolais Nouveau! Est arrivé!

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Take Me Out! Listings RESTAURANTS AMERICAN Arizona BBQ 25 Naberezhno Khreshchatytska st. 425-2438 Open: 08.00 – 24.00 The only American run restaurant in Kyiv, open since 1995.

Free Wifi, drinks, food, parking, satellite TV, credit cards, live music

Sam’s Steak House

37 Zhylyanskaya st. 287 20 00 Open: 08 a.m. – 12 a.m. www.karta.ua Steak House. Grill restaurant. Breakfast.

Wide choice. 8 a.m. - 12 p.m., weekdays WI-FI

ASIAN Terrace Mezhigirska 87 B str. +380932673630 +380443511572 Оpen: 18 00 – 06 00 Asian style, comfortable room karaoke with beauties.

Pushistiy Sushi-bar 23-a Velyka Vasylkivska st. 234-3101 Open: 12.00 ‘til the last visitor leaves Original mix of styles in the interior, fuzzy fur on the walls. 30 kinds of sushi and sashimi.

Saffron 3 Vorovskogo st. 569 10 10 Open: Sun – Wed: 12.00 – 00.00 Thu – Sat: 12.00 – 05.00 www.karta.ua Oriental cuisine, Karaoke-lounge WI-FI

Nobu 12 Shota Rustaveli st. 246-7734 Open: 12.00 - 24.00 Sushi bar in central location.

Great decor and service, wide menu of authentic sushi.

Tubiteyka 29/50 Tarasivska st. 287-0242 Open: 8.00 – 23.00 Asian and home made cuisine, delicious breakfasts, kalian. Oriental atmosphere – and decoration.

WI-FI

CAUCASIAN Ani 72 Chervonoarmiyska st. 4th floor 590-2565 Open: 11.00-23.00 An open show-case kitchen will let you watch the respected Chef cook traditional dishes on the chargrill for you.

Hinkali 4, Shota Rustaveli st. 234-0692 Open: 24 hours Real Caucasian culture reproduced in its best meals. Cuisine with an accent.

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Kazbek 30a L. Ukrainky blvd. 285-4805 Open: 11.00 - 24.00 Restaurant with original interior and traditional Tone stove for baking bread.

Kuvshyn 10 Fedorova st. 592-6363 Open: 12.00 - 24.00 Caucasian cuisine. Every dish served in its own original and unique manner.

Mimino 10a Spasskaya st. (Podol) 417 35 45 Open: 12.00 – 00.00 www.karta.ua Authentic Georgian cuisine WI-FI

European BAcchus Class Chapaeva 2/16 (I.Franka)St. 234-6506 Open: 09.00 – till the last visitor leaves www.bacchusclass.com The one and the only Wine restaurant in Ukraine.

WI-FI 7FRIDAYS CITY-CAFE B Khmelnytskoho 29 278-1187 www.7fridays.kiev.ua Situated in the very heart of Kyiv, the 7Fridays cafe is bursting with city life while striving to preserve a homelike atmosphere. Offering a peaceful corner to forget about city rush, stop for delicious European cuisine for breakfast, business-lunch or dinner. Internet available.

WI-FI Story Cafe 17/18 Naberezhno-Kreschatitskaya st. 467 78 97 Open: 11.00 – 00.00 www.karta.ua French, Italian & Japanese cuisine WI-FI Razgulyaevo 70 Stolichnoe highway (to Koncha-Zaspa) 259 17 00 Open: 11.00 – to the last client www.karta.ua Entertainment complex (restaurant, hotel, sauna, paintball) WI-FI

FRENCH COMME IL FAUT RESTAURANT

Velyka Zhytomyrska St. 2A 219-1919 Open: Monday-Saturday 11:00-23:00 Elegant French restaurant in the heart of Kiev.

Every day enjoy a unique business lunch with glass of wine. Come and try our new autumn menu…

Crep De Chine 25 Hoholivska st. 537-7070 Open: 08.00 – 23.00 A culinary expirience you won’t forget!

MEDITERRANEAN

INTERNATIONAL

Olivera

2A Velyka Zhytomyrska Street 219-1919 Open: 06.30 - 23.00 All day Mediterranean restaurant for breakfast, lunch and dinner. Every day enjoy our Business lunch and Olivera Steak house. Spoil you friends and family with Sunday brunch from 13.00 weekly.

Arena Entertainment

2-a Baseyna st. 492-0000 Open: 9.00 ‘til the last visitor leaves Spacious and cozy restaurant with European cuisine and micro brewery.

Teatro Restaurant Opera Hotel 53 B. Khmelnitskogo st. 581 70 70 Open: 06.30 – 23.00 Mediterranean cuisine. Exquisite selection of the best dishes around the Mediterranean Sea Flavors & Tastes at their best!

Terracotta

5-7/29 Pushkinska st. 537-4535 Open: 07.00 - 23.00 Mediterranean restaurant of superior cuisine.

Wine and cigar rooms offer the perfect touch to Terracotta’s delicious dining experience

FUSION BEEF MEAT & WINE Shota Rustaveli 11 225-0035 Open: 12.00-24.00 Meet cuisine with no ethnic equivalent. Only the best meat from top suppliers and a wide choice of wine match.

WI-FI

BIER PLATZ (new!)

Maidan Nezalezhnosti – 7 Khreshchatyk 067-407-5544 From 11.00 until the last client Delicious Czech, German and Ukrainian cuisine.

11 sorts of draft beer. 7 plasma screeens and 1 huge wall screen, offering various sports channels.

Wi-Fi b-hush

Velyka Zhytomyrska St. 2A 11th floor, InterContinental Kyiv Mob. +38 050 355 93 72 Open: Mon - Thu: 18.00 - 02.00 Fri - Sat: 18.00 - 04.00 Rooftop lounge bar b-hush - Rise above the bustle and enjoy the breathtaking panoramic view of the city. Our specialties include Asian Fusion menu, extensive cocktail menu and hookah menu.

Grill Asia Restaurant

5 Alla Tarasova st. 581-12-34 Open: 6:00 - 24:00 Two open kitchens, European and Asian cuisine in luxurious surroundings.

Open for breakfast, lunch and dinner.

Buddha-bar Kiev 14 Kreschatik st. (near Khreshchatyk hotel) 270- 7676 Open: Mo – Wed: 13.00 – 02.00 Thu – Sat: 13.00 – 04.00 Sun: 14.00 – 02.00 www.buddhabar.com.ua Restaurant lounge-bar WI-FI

InterContinental

Kyiv Lobby Lounge Bar

Velyka Zhytomyrska St. 2A 1 st floor, InterContinental Kyiv 219-1919 Open: 08.00 - 02.00 Enjoy the best coffee in town with home made pastries in a unique atmosphere. Great selection of whiskies, wine and comfort food at your choice - Lobby lounge the place to meet in Kiev.

Marrakesh 24 Sagaydachnogo st. (Podol) 494 0 494 Open: Sun – Thu: 12.00 – 01.00 Fri – Sat: 12.00 – 04.00 www.karta.ua Oriental restaurant. Moroccan, French & Japanese cuisine. Hookah menu.

WI-FI

MYKA restaurant Khreshchatyk 46a 227 8943 Open: 12-24 Delicious international cuisine in the heart of Kyiv

Marocana 24 Lesi Ukrainky blvd. 254-4999 Open: 11.00 - 02.00 This popular beau monde hang-out bills itself as a fashion TV cafe.

Hunter 147/5 Saksahanskoho st. 236-3735 Open: 12.00 - 24.00 There is no need to go hunting – just visit this special originally decorated grill-restaurant, try excellent grilled meat and fish!

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Kyiv Life Down and Dirty with What’s On

CRYSTAL HALL On 11.11.11, What’s On celebrated its 12th birthday for which we hosted lots of friends both old and new. Giving them a show of marvellous proportion, we had the beautiful girls of Asturia start off the night. The hard and heavy music of Hardkiss got people out dancing, rockers Druha Rika got people singing and then there was the special guest.

Adding a little intimacy to our grand party, Slava Vakarchuk took to the stage. Lining the front of the stage throughout the entire perfromance, the girls just couldn’t get enough! Of course our Dirty Dress, Dirty Drink and Dirty Dance contests kept the place in stiches, the winners from which went home with prizes from our fabulous sponsors The Famous Grouse and UIA! Can’t see you picture down below? Make sure you make your way over to Facebook where there is an inordinate amount of snapshots from the night. While you’re there, make sure you ‘like’ us and then make sure you’re at our next big event – it’s coming up soon!

Martin Nunn of White’s Communications gets a squeeze

Marilyn Models Group owner Oleksandra Britan goes wild with friend Oksana Ruben Landsberger (left) of Kievglam came and conquered!

Slava Vakarchuk – the best, the only special guest star

Publisher Paul Niland with Editor in Chief Lana Nicole

Alisa Kosmos of Kamon band having a whole lot of fun

Enjoying the dirty atmosphere

A couple of hotties hitting up the What’s On Dirty 12

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MC Serhiy Velichanskiy (right) with the What’s On team

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Kozyrne Zhyttya’s Lera Chernenko as beautiful as ever

Publisher Neil Campbell with wife Katya and our dirty angels

Famous models Anna, Angelica and Zhenya

Sparing some time for What’s On

Ecstatic UIA tickets winners!

Definiteily dirty!

Valeriy Kharchyshyn of Druha Rika singing his heart out

So dirty, the police were called in

Photographers: Anna Tymoshenko, Oleksandr Shcherbina, Artem Mironenko

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Kyiv Life WO Dennis Roache, Colonel Ernie Reumiller, Ambassador of Canada to Ukraine HE Troy Lulashnyk, Sergeant Hugo Asselin

Major Kirsty Baxter salutes

Father Većeslav Tumir and Mufti Sheikh Akhmed Tamim

A Day to Remember

PARK OF GLORY At the 11th hour on the th th 11 day of the 11 month in 1918, the guns of battle fell silent as the First World War came to an end. Since then it has become tradition to honour casualties of war at that time and on that date every year. As the tradition is mainly one of the Commonwealth, this year’s remembrance service was organised jointly by the British and Canadian embassies. Laying wreaths at the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier, around 250 people gathered and silently remembered their friends, colleagues and family members.

Ambassador of UK HE Leigh Turner and Col Jeremy Burnell

Ambassador of USA HE John Tefft, Col Dennis Larm and Maj Brian Mclaughlin Ambassador of Croatia HE Zeljko Kirincić and Lcol Darko Skuliber

Donating Life

PRESS CENTRE UKRAINIAN NEWS Yazdamkrov is a brand new project aimed at raising awareness about the necessary act of donating blood. Launched on 1 November, organisers and celebrities gathered at the country’s press centre to educate people about our current problems concerning blood donation and the various ways in which we can help solve them. With the support of Ukrainian stars such as Slava Vakarchuk, Vitaliy Kozlovskiy, Irena Karpa and many other influential individuals, this is one project we here at What’s On hope will flourish.

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Sergey Korotkoruchko of the Kyiv Blood Centre speaking to the lack of blood supply in the country

Dave Young (Kyiv Lions Club past president) getting the yazdamkrov.org project off the ground with a letter of support from Slava Vakarchuk of Okean Elzy

15.11.2011 19:02:20

27

Art dealer Ihor Abramovych and Natalya Shpitovska

Art critic Oleh Sydor-Hibelynda (right) speaking candidly

Going Once, Going Twice – Sold!

Popular Ukrainian artist Matviy Weisberg

Andriy Terentev giving it his best shot

DUKAT AUCTION HOUSE On 9 November, the famous Ukrainian Dukat Auction House opened an exhibition of masterpieces to be sold at auction in the coming weeks. There was something there for everyone. However, one of the most interesting lots had to have been the piece by the extravagant Marevna, wife of the legendary Diego Rivera! With musical improvisation and a little artwork

by Dmytro Pianoboy Shurov and well-known artist Matviy Weisberg respectively, the opening itself was an extraordinary event.

Dukat Auction House owner Leonid Komskiy with host Anatoliy Borsyuk

Nadiy Maltseva of Integrites International Law Firm with the right answer

Art-Capital’s Olha Skopyuk unsatisfied with the results

EBA Smartypants

PARK RESTAURANT The European Business Association invited fans and finalists out to the final of the EBA Business Battle this 9 November. The big struggle was between Art Capital, Kreston GCG, Johnson & Johnson Ukraine and Printure Ukraine Ltd. Only one could be named most intellectual, however, with a trip to Italy as the prize.

And that privilege went to Printure Ukraine Ltd! Congratulations!

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The winners – Printure Ukraine Ltd

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28

Kyiv Life Discussing flicks

Voice of the Country Tonya Matvienko (right) with a friend

Best of the Brits

CitiBank’s Steven Fisher with his lovely wife Lucille

Getting a chat in before the screening

UKRAINA CINEMA On 10 November, the Annual Festival of New British Cinema opened in Kyiv. Featuring five fascinating flicks for movie aficionados to enjoy, séances for Submarine, The Guard, Perfect Sense, Hysteria and We Need to Talk about Kevin were all sold out. Those in attendance for the opening ceremonies, however, were doubly treated as some of our own local celebrities were also in on the action.

Theatre Director Serhiy Proskurnya and Denys Ivanov of Arthouse Traffic

British Council Ukraine’s Volodymyr Sheiko and Martin Daull Director of Ukraina Cinema Yuliya Marynchuk (right) is very happy with the turnout

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Movie critic and TV host Volodymyr Voitenko with his wife Olha

15.11.2011 19:03:36

24, 2011 at 19:00 Proceeds to benefit CCRDF’s Telemedicine Project InterContinental Kyiv’s 2009-2011 Charity-of-Choice www.ccrdf.org To make your table reservations, please contact CCRDF 044.494.1535, zbruher@ccrdf.org 800 200 Table reservations from 2-20 individuals welcomed.

This advertisement brought to you by media partner

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Essential Kyiv Fitness Centres GOLF CENTRE Obolonska Naberezhna 20  230-9436 www.golf-center.com.ua The Golf Centre offers 36 stations, a 2-level floodlit driving range, 7-hole golf course, Golf Academy, Pro Shop and restaurant.

No membership required!

Plenty of free parking on site

Language Courses SMARTFOX Language school, Translation’s agency Vandy Vasylevskoi 7  502-6290 www.baziscenter.com

Premier Palace Hotel Blvd T. Shevchenka / Pushkinska 5-7/29  537-45-00  279-87-72 Reservation: 244-12-11 info@premier-palace.com www.premier-palace.com

Center of Spanish Language and Culture Obolonska 7, 1st Floor  239-2418 www.spanish.com.ua Ez English Blvd Lesi Ukrainki 16, #18  235-5926

Club Olympus Alla Tarasova 5  581-1234 Cyber Gym B. Khmelnytskoho 50  465-3171 Kiev Sport Club Blvd Druzhby Narodiv 5  522-8866

International House Vandy Vasylevskoi 7  238-9870

Lybid Hotel Peremohy Square 1 +380 239 76 00  +380 236 63 36

Oxford Klass School of English English for adults and children, Cinema club 34 Ivana Mazepa St. Kiev, 01015, Ukraine  594-10-64  594-10-62

reception@hotellybid.com.ua

www.hotellybid.com.ua

Premier Palace Fitness Center Blvd T. Shevchenka 5-7/29  537-453

Hotels

InterContinental Velyka Zhytomyrska Str 2A  219-1919 hotel.kiev@ihg.com http://intercontinental-kiev.com

Airlines

Ukraine International Airlines ticket office in Kiev 4, Lysenka Street  (044) 581-50-50 www.flyUIA.com

Austrian Airlines Kyiv City Office Velyka Vasylkivska 9/2, Reservation:  8-800-3000-492 office.ukraine@austrian.com www.austrian.com More than 60 flights per week from 6 biggest cities in Ukraine to the whole World!

Air France-KLM Kiev, 34/33, Ivana Franka str. 490-24-90, 496-35-75 www.airfrance.ua, www.klm.ua

Airports Boryspil International Airport  490-4777 www.boryspilairport.kiev.ua

British Council Teaching Centre Skovorody 4/12  490-5600

Kyiv-Zhulyany International airport Povitroflotsky 92  242-2309/08 www.airport.kiev.ua

Educational Program LEGO Education Borysa Hmyri 6 Klovskiy Uzviz 8 Heroiv Stalingradu 18  383-5150, 383-5152, 577-2900 www.vynahidnyk.org

Beauty Salons Favorit V.I.P. Club Muzeyny 6  278-3338

Education Delta Air Lines General Sales Agent SIA "ContinAt" Chervonoarmiyska 9/2, #17  287-3595 www.delta.com Now fly Kiev-New York Non-stop

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Language school Nota Bene - Russian and Ukrainian for foreigners - Business English - German, French, Spanish, Italian  8(097) 400-9699 8(067) 738-1691 278-8036 Volodymyrska 7, #17 notabene.school@gmail.com

American Academy of Foreign Languages Dymytrova 16, #16  230-2608 A.B.C. P. Lumumby 23/35, #13  239-1091

Dnipro Hotel Khreschatyk 1/2  254-6777  254-6737 www.dniprohotel.kiev.ua

Hyatt Regency Kyiv Alla Tarasova 5  581-12-34  581-12-35 info.hrkyiv@hyatt.com www.kyiv.regency.hyatt.com

Greenwich Prorizna 22-b  592-7843

Alliance-profi Mechnikova 6, #33 235-6643, 592-4588

Marriage Agencies Want to meet a lady who is looking for a man like you ?

Save your time and energy and visit www.marriagebynatali.com or call Natali personally at +38-067-232-0803.

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DTelite School Sahaydachnoho 20/2  417-5770 Business English Center Lesi Ukrainky 3, #114  234-0871

Translation Services 100 MOV Nahirna 24/1 489-5856

Radisson BLU Hotel Yaroslaviv Val 22 Reservations:  492-2200  492-2210 info.kiev@radissonblu.com www.radissonblu.com/hotel-kiev

Diamond Recruiters Moskovska 43/11, 3rd floor, office 8  332-3100 www.diamondrecruiters.net kyiv@diamondrecruiters.net Diamond Recruiters helps you attract, retain and motivate Ukrainian and foreign talent. Our specialties include finance, administration, change management, and IT. Middle to senior management positions.

On Time Translation Agency Maiakovskoho Pr 10, 2nd floor 228 02 91 www.ontime.in.ua Anakonda-translate  529-3302

Internet Cafes Bunker Artema 11-a  272-4860 Cyber Cafe Prorizna 21  278-0548 Orki Khmelnitskoho 29/2  228-1187

Medical Centers

Opera Hotel B. Khmelnitskoho 53  581-70-70  537-73-73 reservations@opera-hotel.com www.opera-hotel.com

American Medical Centers Emergency Phone: +38 (044) 490 7600 Berdychivska, 1 +38 (044) 490 7600 +38 (044) 490 7600 patientservices@amc.com.ua

15.11.2011 18:37:58

31

Stephen Oryszczuk

42.indb 31

en of them together, which in their eyes was

The 21st Century

What’s Hot

showed Bubski the photo this lady had tak-

Kyiv City Hall is getting ahead of the

clear evidence of guilt.

game and publishing a web portal of

After a few moments they produced another

admin services. According to offi-

photo from the same camera, this time with

cials, the masses will be able to ac-

one of our friends in the background. Fred

cess, complete and submit forms

(not his real name) was then dragged out of

online. Let’s hope Kyivites are ready

the club, to be given the same treatment.

for this technological barrage.

They were both now being accused of steal-

ing this woman’s coat, despite neither of

Energy-Saving Lamps

M

them having seen or touched it. Twenty min-

the perfect opportunity. She lives in the UK

derstanding was all over, and that they were

and housing units across the city.

and timed her most recent visit to coincide

free to go back to the party. Not so.

What with online City services, this

with it. She spent hours working on our cos-

The lady’s (now shaky) claims of theft mor-

makes two What’s Hots in a week!

tumes back home, and having earlier de-

phed into claims of illegal immigration, and

Could this sudden awakening come to be known in years

cided that my theme should be ‘dirty money’

she told the police that neither Bubski nor

time as The Enlightenment? Only time will tell.

she made me a Euro ring and a Hryvnia ear-

Fred had any identification on them. Both

ring. The coup de grace was undoubtedly

were able to produce ID. Undeterred, she

the money boa I wore around my neck. It got

continued making a long-winded written

a lot of looks, and provided for a few strange

statement against the two of them, with

Money Boas

experiences, including the barman, who

the police seemingly happy to go along with

Crystal Hall throughout the night on

stroked it the whole time I was ordering a

it, despite the fact that the coat had been

11.11.11, spreading joy as it went

round of drinks.

found, and that it clearly hadn’t been stolen.

and ending up who-knows-where.

After a while I gave the boa to Bubski, who

For reasons unknown, this woman seemed

Could this be THE new winter acces-

got to wear her creation. I’d hit the vodka a

determined to get Bubski and Fred in trou-

bit too hard, and took off around midnight,

ble, and the police refused to answer any of

just as my ability to walk was becoming

their questions. They were both kept there

questionable. Being a more responsible

for well over an hour and they only let Fred

drinker, Bubski stayed, and shortly after

go after he paid them 400hrv.

I left a lady asked if she could take a photo

Back inside, people waved it off, saying “this

with Bubski and her boa. Bubski obliged.

is Ukraine”. Why that makes it okay is be-

Kyiv Chocolate

Not long after, security asked Bubski to step

yond me. Having spent a large part of the

units, almost half of all chocolate

outside where the police were waiting. The

night in reception being interviewed by po-

(and other confectionery items) sold

lady had apparently told them that Bub-

lice and stared at by guests, Bubski felt hu-

in Kyiv is out-of-date, or not stored

ski had stolen her coat. Bubski was wear-

miliated and angry. The sad background to

under the correct temperatures. Be-

ing a little black dress, handcuffs and a big

all this is that she’d been considering quali-

cause of all the sugar and moisture

money boa around her neck, and obviously

fying out here permanently from summer

in the products, the bacteria create toxins that can affect

did not have this lady’s coat, but the police

2012. That night made her mind up.

the liver and cause food poisoning. Definitely Not Hot.

y wife Bubski (not her real name)

utes later, when the cloakroom staff brought

loves to dress up, and the What’s

the coat out with puzzled looks on their

ciency? Energy-saving lights are be-

On Party last weekend presented

faces, Bubski and Fred assumed the misun-

ing fitted to more than 2,000 schools

Could City Hall be embracing effi-

Mine got gleefully passed around

sory for 2011-12? Only in Ukraine...

According to consumer protection

Dear Stephen, I’m a vivacious (some say voluptuous) 20-something English girl who married a receding but not quite balding English boy. In spring this year, I was offered the opportunity to work in Kyiv for six

Occupy Ukraine

It’s not exactly occupied.

months so I suggested that my new husband join me and take some time off work, with the plan that we both move back to the UK when my work placement finished. However, he got a couple of interesting jobs in journalism, and – seemingly seduced by the glitter of Kyiv – decided to stay, at least temporarily. We’re now living thousands of miles apart. He wants me to move to Kyiv permanently but everybody there seems to want to pull you down. Having lived in Ukraine for some

time, I’m worried he’s being pulled towards it, like a magpie to silver. Meanwhile I’m becoming

Underground Casinos

more and more repulsed by the country. I’m also worried that he’ll be pulled away by other things too. He works very long hours and tells me he doesn’t have the time or patience for gold-diggers, but I’m still insecure. What should I do?

– From ??

What’s Not

What’s Wrong

What’s What

All Things Considered

A bad week for mobsters. Two underground casinos were raided recently,

and the night’s takings were huge. PoBubski –

lice bet big and came away with

I told you not to email me at work. We can talk about this later.

1,600,000hrv, $300,000 and 150,000

Yours sincerely,

rubles. Not bad for a night’s work.

Stephen

If you have a question about life, work or relationships in Kyiv please write to stephen@whatson-kiev.com

15.11.2011 18:38:07

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