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December B 2016
Cover Story
Metaphysics
26
84
Collateral Beauty - We Are All Connected
Health & Healing 44
Five Foods for Better Bone Health
Spirituality 50 54
Motivating Your Spirit The Meaning of Grace
OM Living 62 64 70
4 Ways to Help Your Fellow Man and Make the World a Better Place 4 Energy Tools to Create Connection OMTimes Radio Host Spotlight - Marc Lainhart and Kimberly Thalken
Relationships 76
Protecting Yourself From Sociopaths in the Small Business
88
The Best Ways to Deal with Emotional Vampires 12 Angel Blessings
Personal Growth 96 The Year of Redirection 100 Why Choose the Path of Spiritual Surrender?
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David Frankel: It is exciting. I agree. And, you know, we have been working on it for a long time. But, we have reached the finished editing a few months ago. And it’s just been this gift that’s been stored in the closet for a few months, waiting to get it under the tree for Christmas. So, that’s a pleasure to get it out there. Christopher Buck: It truly will be a great gift for Christmas. Now, Collateral Beauty you say is the profound connection with everything. What do you mean by that? What, in your mind, is collateral beauty?
Christopher Buck: David, thank you so much for speaking with us. It’s a great honor. The scope and breadth of your work are truly amazing. David Frankel: You are very kind. I wish it were amazing, but it’s very satisfying too, you know, do some work that stirs a response in people. Christopher Buck: I can’t remember a movie coming out that I’ve been as excited about as Collateral Beauty. I haven’t seen many movies that have touched people so much just in the trailer, so it’s exciting.
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David Frankel: For me it’s, it’s the connections with the people that we love. I think there are different interpretations in different times of our lives and in the movie at different times. It’s easy to say …oh, just noticing the beauty. But, for me it’s sort of rediscovering the reasons to keep on going, to keep living, you know, and what reason is there except for the connections that we have to our friends and to our loved ones. And a lot of times those relationships become frayed. We either take them for granted or we lose people. There’s times when life seems darn bleak, and we’re-just stuck inside ourselves. And so, Collateral Beauty is all about those connections to people.
Christopher Buck: It seems that one of the things that you were saying is that, you have these three big things in life that connect everybody. Of course, I guess there are other things that connect everyone like grief…
And, that’s why, I think, the movie ultimately is so uplifting, it reminds us--you know, you see Howard starting to make connections again, and it reminds us to go out and connect. And, so often I have seen people at the end of screenings of the movie run to hug their loved ones. And, that’s really gratifying. Christopher Buck: Do you think the movie really expresses the need, the human need to connect with each other?
David Frankel: Yeah, I think, and there’s a line in the movie that I think is the most profound moment in the movie, where Helen Mirren’s character says, you know, “Nothing is ever really dead if you look at it right.” And, you know, I found that very beautiful, this idea that the way that we live on you know, most people don’t live on in history books. We only live on in the memories of the people who cared about the people who we cared about and us. And I think that idea is both very comforting and inspiring.
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David Frankel: Yeah. That’s what I think Howard is missing. You know, he has withdrawn so much. And grief can do that. You know, grief can make you--you know, can drive you mad. And we’ve known that, you know, for hundreds--you know, Shakespeare wrote about it. And here you have a character who is so withdrawn that, you know, he is--you know, I think it’s not just a detail that he doesn’t have a phone anymore. He is not functioning at work, he is not he is divorced. He has given up everything, every connection in his life. And that’s ultimately what the story is about, is it’s not just--you know, I mean, yeah, you know, bringing him back into the light, but what does that mean? You know, that means, forcing him to reconnect. And so, the scheme that his colleagues develop to make that happen is wacky and funny but also quite beautiful, that he is forced to return to the land of the living.
Christopher Buck: The writing to the concepts of, Time, Love, and Death is a very interesting and hopeful way to him to deal or to address his grief. David Frankel: Yeah. You know, I think that not all of us have lost a child. Not all of us have had a serious loss, even at some time in our lives. But, this idea of appealing to a higher power, of reaching out to the universe to provide guidance or some answers, some solace in times of trouble that seems like a universal idea. And, you know, I mean, all tribute to Allan Loeb, the writer, for creating this device of writing and venting and to these abstract notions. Christopher Buck: All right. You seem to have some fun with the characters that or the personification of the abstract constructs of Time, Love, and Death. How did you go about--what was in your mind when you crafted them like that? David Frankel: You know, I think that the--[unintelligible] had the idea that he wanted to have actors play Love--that he wanted to deal with the themes of Love, Time, and Death. I think that having them be--those ideas be personified by actors, was his device. And then, the fun for us was, “Well, who are those actors?” “What are their character traits?”
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And, for example, Helen Mirren, I think, does a brilliant job of really focusing on playing a woman who has spent decades in the shadows aspiring to be an actress in the East Village in New York and finally getting her big moment. As she says, you know: “The role of my life for an audience of one.” And I thought, the same for Keira Knightley. It is sort of easy to drift into abstractions. But, you know, she is playing a character named Amy who is an actress who is also, you know, struggling and also playing for an audience of one. So, that’s just filling in the details of who those actors were and putting aside the abstract ideas was much easier for all of us.
Christopher Buck: Which of the three do you think had the--of those concepts, of those actors, had the biggest impact on the message you were trying to convey?
Christopher Buck: Yes, I agree. I certainly am looking forward to this. You mentioned it’s the fleeting moments like a sunset, or a child’s smile is what ties everything together between the three things. David Frankel: Yeah, for sure, that the moments are important. But, the people in our lives, our love for them is probably even more important.
David Frankel: Well, you know, in some ways, Death seems to be the most well-rounded character in the movie. She has the best sense of humor, and she is the most confident and ultimately, you know, the most powerful. But, the one who seems to make the biggest change in Howard’s life, and maybe in all our lives, is Love. She says, “Don’t give up on me,” to Howard because he has kind of rejecting it. He said goodbye to Love forever. And she beseeches him, “Don’t give up on me.” And I think that’s the most impactful for all of us is to always remember that, you know, if we have Love, we often don’t need anything else to keep going.
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Christopher Buck: I know you are busy. I have got one last question for you. You were referring to Collateral Beauty as those fleeting moments in between the big things in life; is there one particular scene in the movie, Collateral Beauty, that personifies your ideal of collateral beauty in the film?
David Frankel: Yes, and, it comes in a moment near the end of the movie where Will’s character is in a flashback, playing with his child. And I won’t even go into a lot of detail about it. But, it was an improvised moment between
Howard, between Will and this very young six-year-old actress. And they found a moment of connection that was so natural and so surprising to all of us, but especially to Will, that his laugh of surprise is so genuine. And his love for her at that moment, this little girl that he had only met a couple of times, seemed so genuine and real. And so, it worked both as a moment of collateral beauty for all of us making the movie but also, within the movie a moment we were able to dramatize a moment of collateral beauty for the character, Howard. That is one of the most memorable moments of making the movie for me. Christopher Buck: Well, I will specifically be on the lookout for that to share that with you. Thank you so much for sharing this gift with everyone and for taking the time to speak with us. David Frankel: My pleasure. And thank you for your enthusiasm. I hope you love it. Christopher Buck: have no doubt whatsoever.
COLLATERAL BEAUTY explores deeply spiritual themes and timeless questions that will resonate with spiritual seekers from all walks of life. The meaning of life, love, death, and the illusions of time, are all interwoven in a poetic way to enhance the beauty that is present in every moment of existence. In the film, a successful New York ad executive suffers a personal tragedy and retreats from life, his friends devise a drastic plan to reach him before he loses everything. Pushing him to the very edge, they force him to confront the truth in surprising and profoundly human ways. From Oscar-winning director David Frankel, this thought-provoking drama explores how even the deepest loss can reveal moments of beauty, and how the constants of love, time and death interlock in a life fully lived. Please visit: http://dearuniverse.collateralbeauty-movie.com
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Warner Brothers has put together a meaningful digital activation where people can write their own
Empower Girls Break the Cycle of Dependence
The number one reason girls drop out of school in Sub-Saharan Africa is lack of access to feminine hygiene products. The Pads for Schoolgirls Project, an outreach of Humanity Healing International, is changing this paradigm by setting up sewing programs at schools, teaching girls a vocational skill, while producing the reusable pads that help keep them attending classes. The girls pay it forward by making and giving pad kits to other girls in need. To learn more, visit humanityhealing.org
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Health & Wellness Innovative new approaches to Healing as well as holistic methods for dealing with health issues and personal growth
Five Foods for Better Bone Health by Kyle Zagrodzky
Find Better Bone Health with These Super-foods Osteoporosis isn’t preventable through diet alone, but a balanced diet rich in certain power nutrients can contribute
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to better bone health and help other activities, such as exercise and osteogenic stimulation, become even more effective at retaining and producing new bone. Most people know that dairy products including milk, cheese, and yogurt contain calcium and vitamin D that build stronger bones, but they don’t know that secret super-foods, such as pistachios, contribute to better bone health as well. Dairy is great for bones, but lots of other foods contain additional essential vitamins and nutrients that lead to stronger, healthier bones at every stage of life.
Start your day with an egg. Eggs contain valuable bonenourishing nutrients, making them a great choice for breakfast or an omelet dinner. In USDA tests, egg yolks
contained 41 IU of vitamin D, which helps the body absorb calcium. The body produces vitamin D during sun exposure, but if you’re concerned about skin cancer, eggs are one of the few foods that contain ample amounts of the core nutrient. Eggs also contain vitamins B6 and B12, which reduce levels of amino acids that have been linked to increased risk of hip fractures later in life. The folate in eggs is another B vitamin that helps prevent bone loss.
Embrace olive oil. A recent study from Spain suggested that a Mediterranean diet rich in olive oil might have a strong link to healthier bones. In the study, 127 men between ages 55 and 80 who ate a Mediterranean diet with lots of olive oil had higher levels of osteocalcin in their blood, a sign of healthy bones. Other similar studies have shown that bone disease occurs less frequently
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in the Mediterranean than in other parts of Europe. To work more olive oil into your diet, use it to cook with instead of vegetable oil, and add it to salad dressings for an extra flavor boost.
Savor some spinach. Try substituting spinach for regular lettuce in your salads. Spinach contains tons of calcium; just one cup fulfills about 25 percent of an adult’s daily requirement. Spinach also contains natural fiber, iron, and vitamin A, a crucial nutrient for bone growth.
Dip into something good for you. Slice up some fresh vegetables and go for a dip. Guacamole and hummus are both great for bone health. Avocados are packed with vitamin K, which works closely with vitamin D to regulate osteoclast production.
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Osteoclasts remove old bone to make more room for healthy new bone deposits. Avocados contain boron, a mineral that helps bone metabolism and vitamin D efficiency, as well as copper, which produces collagen and elastin. The chickpeas in hummus contain iron, phosphate, calcium, magnesium, manganese, zinc, and vitamin K, all of which contribute to strong bones.
Go nuts. Nuts such as walnuts and pistachios are incredibly beneficial to bone health. Just one-fourth of a cup of walnuts has 2.25 grams of omega-3 fatty acids, 100 percent of the recommended daily value. Research has found that Omega-3 fatty acids increase calcium absorption, reduce calcium loss, and improve bone strength through better collagen creation, which
simultaneously helps with muscle formation. Walnuts also deliver boron, copper, and manganese. Pistachios contain manganese, iron, copper, phosphorus, potassium, and magnesium, which all team up to create healthier bones. References To learn more about the potential health benefits, click on the links: Eggs: https://saveourbones.com/ truth-about-eggs-and-your-bonehealth/ Mediterranean diets: http://www. shape.com/healthy-eating/diettips/best-healthy-foods-strongbones Vitamin A: http://www.niams. nih.gov/Health_Info/Bone/Bone_ Health/Nutrition/vitamin_a.asp Omega-3 fatty acids: https:// saveourbones.com/eat-this-nutbuild-your-bones/ Collagen: http://www.ehow. com/facts_5121976_collagensynthesis.html
About the Author Kyle Zagrodzky is president of OsteoStrong, the health and wellness system. It focuses on building stronger bones, muscles, and balance in less than ten minutes a week. The program uses scientifically proven and patented osteogenic stimulation technology. OsteoStrong introduced a new era in modern wellness and anti-aging in 2011. It has also helped thousands of clients between ages 8 and 98 improve strength, balance, endurance, and bone density. In 2014, the brand signed commitments with nine regional developers to launch 500 new locations across America. Today, OsteoStrong is becoming a brand with a global reach.
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Simply Spiritual To perceive reality from a different perspective is to open oneself to the wonders and unlimited wealth of creation. Simply Spiritual offers the opportunity to visit new places, new methods, and different ways to perceive the vast human knowledge of our Universe.
Motivating Your Spirit by John Holland
Find Time to Connect with Spirit From time to time, although I teach, lecture, offer advice, and connect with Spirit, even I need to stop occasionally to motivate my own Omtimes.com
spirit. It’s so important that you make time for these all too important activities in your daily routine. No matter how much you might be an expert in your field, or that you excel in a sport or artistic activity, it’s essential to feel motivated; otherwise, you might not achieve your full potential. I know that when people are motivated, they’re excited about their life, work, and relationships. Most importantly, they feel they’re investing time in something worthwhile that’s for their higher good. Being motivated also improves performance and makes your own personal efficiency in time and energy better, too!
Motivating Your Spirit has Its Advantages By motivating yourself and your spirit, you will encourage everyone around you to feel the benefits.
Being motivated creates a positive attitude towards life. It makes you more adaptable to cope with change, whether that’s at work or home. Sometimes, you must stop and clear away some of the clutter in your life that just gets in the way. Often, that clutter causes irritation and dissatisfaction. I feel, as we start to get towards the end of another year, it’s a great time to check in with yourself. See what is working or what’s not, and ask yourself: “Is it time I need to make some changes and motivate my spirit?” I believe we ALL need to do this. With the world in a constant, shifting pattern of change, it becomes even more important to take time out for yourself. So, I hope this article does just what it should -- to inspire you to motivate your spirit.
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JOHN’S LESSON This week, take some time out for yourself. See which areas of your life need some work. Where do you feel stuck, or what needs changing? It can be quite simple things, or you might decide it’s time for a major change, such as changing jobs, moving house, or making changes to a longterm relationship that has run its course. Personalize your motivational approach, so it is unique to you! Ask yourself some simple and basic questions, such as: • Am I doing what I want to do? • Am I achieving what I feel I can achieve? • Does my body feel healthy and in sync between body, mind and soul? • Do I feel good about myself?
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If you answer “YES” to these types of questions, then you’re doing well. But, if like me, you know there are some parts of your life that could do with some change, then now is the time. Spend some quiet time and by asking such questions, let your spirit (your soul) guide you. Don’t be impatient and expect answers immediately, but wait. They will come, even when you least expect. Once you embark on that journey of small changes to your life, you will feel the strength of your spirit grow, and the process of motivating your spirit will have started. Live a Soul-filled life! About the Author John Holland is an artist, author, public speaker, and psychic medium. To learn more about John Holland, visit http://www.johnholland.com.
The Meaning of Grace by Judi Lynch
What is the Role of Grace in Our Lives? Grace is an incredible word when you investigate it! Grace is described as a state of being, extra time, a beautiful name, mercy, a divine power granted by God, or an effortless beauty
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or charm. These are to name a few of the many meanings and interpretations in human history. This lovely state of grace we may have spiritually visualized, felt and even sensed from the other side of our consciousness exists to remind us who and
what we are. Have you ever felt worthless or critical of yourself only to be lifted by circumstances into a totally new reality of gratitude and respect by someone else who believed in you? The universe has a way of bringing in people and events. These can change our lives if we are living in a graceful state of acceptance.
to be consumed is a tradition in many spiritual faiths around the world. Being thankful and grateful for life and the provision of food is an intrinsic ritual for millions of people. Saying grace for many is a way to bring souls together in gratitude. It also creates a healthy environment around the table.
Many Definitions for this Incredible State of Being
Grace Elevates Us with Dignity and through Prayer
Sometimes your life might be described as grace under pressure, other times it seems as if you might be catching all the breaks. If someone special graces you with their loving presence they most assuredly will have a message of synchronicity to share which can enrich your life. Grace also describes elegance and beauty in expression of action such as the dancer who through their art learns how to gracefully maneuver their body to explain the emotions they are conveying. Grace is also described as a prayer offering before meals. Imparting a blessing on food
Grace is acceptance with dignity and maturity. We are all challenged throughout our lifetimes to choose our reactions and the frequencies from which we choose to operate. When we go out into the world with grace and gratefulness it becomes the energy which surrounds us wherever we go. We can nurture our grace as we get older and hopefully wiser. We learn to remain silent and listen instead of reacting with fear. Grace elevates us in our prayers and meditations. It means we are loved by the
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source of our existence and our consciousness is always alive. It helps us listen to our guidance, the peaceful calm that resides inside when we trust that we are whole. Just the way we are, we have everything available. The only difference between those that practice grace and those who don’t is the knowledge of its amazing power to transform our lives.
How Can We Articulate Our Truths with Grace? Knowing when and how to speak our minds with dignity helps us to articulate our truths in being our most authentic selves. With grace, we learn to accept we by ourselves could not exist without each other’s help here and to respect each other as we are. Still growing, learning and evolving into the state of grace where there is joy, forgiveness, true unconditional love. Not everything we think or do is anyone else’s business unless we choose it to be. So many things are between us and our
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spiritual connections, deeply rooted to our soul’s journey. We may not always feel graceful as we stumble every now and then. But, this universe is filled with full acceptance of every part of our soul journey. We only need to remember how to let go with purpose so we can move forward with style. If we show ourselves some mercy, we will be able to gift it to everyone else as well. About the Author Judi Lynch is a psychic medium, intuitive counselor, healing channel and author. She is president of the Crystal Healing Foundation, Inc., a 501(c) spiritual charity, and featured columnist for OM Times Magazine. She has authored two books, Friends with Lights and Conscious Ascension, and has read for clients all over the world. To learn more or contact for a session see psychicmediumjudilynch.com or email judi@ judilynch.com
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OM Living For those living a more Conscious Lifestyle
4 Ways to Help Your Fellow Man and Make the World a Better Place by Rachelle Wilber
The Plight of Our Fellow Man Affects Us All With sunken, hallow eyes filled with despair, people line up for spare change across the streets of America. The pennies that they get are often all that they have to buy food or a few small things that they might need. It might seem impossible that hunger could be so commonplace in the richest country of the world, but it is. Many here live in poverty because they have lost their
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jobs, or they have been ill for many years. The few homeless shelters and missions that can help are so full that some can only allow people to stay for a few hours a day. And unfortunately, this includes small children. To change the current state of destitution requires everyone working together. Each of us can get started with any of these four ways.
Food Drives Food banks often get the largest portion of their food during the
holiday season. But with so many people in need, the little that they have runs out fast. That is why collecting non-perishables during the off seasons is so important. Have a collection at your office at work, or clean out your pantry at home. Every little bit will help to feed the hungry.
Volunteer at a Mission Missions and homeless shelters are often run by volunteers who help get people hot meals or make up beds. Some people sincerely realize that by volunteering a few hours a week of your time, they can help to make a difference in the lives of those who are struggling the most.
Lend an Ear Sometimes, the biggest gift that a person can give is their compassion. Stopping to listen to someone who feels down will show them that there are good people in the world who care. Even if you don’t know how to solve their problems, this simple act can give someone the hope that they need to keep going.
Share Your Gifts Your unique gifts can be a
blessing to someone else in need, so share them. Mechanics can repair the cars of single moms in need. Chefs can cook up dinner for tired policemen and firefighters. Teachers can volunteer to help the illiterate learn to read.
Volunteering - Ask How You Can Help As you can see, there are many ways that you can help to make the world a better place. If you are still unsure about how you can help, just ask. Lots of social service programs can help guide you to finding a place to start volunteering. About the Author Rachelle Wilber is a freelance writer living in the San Diego, California area. She graduated from San Diego State University with her Bachelor’s Degree in Journalism and Media Studies. Rachelle recommends Union Gospel Mission Twin Cities for those interested in volunteering opportunities. Follow her on Twitter and Facebook: @RachelleWilber; https:// www.facebook.com/profile. php?id=100009221637700
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4 Energy Tools to Create Connection by Simone Milasas
Energy Tools, When Words are Not Enough‌ Business is about creating connections with a whole range of different people: customers and clients, suppliers, designers, investors, staff, and so on. The richer the networks, the more ease you have in your business and the more possibilities become available to you. It is also through connection that you have great communication, which allows things to flow smoothly.
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You can read all the advice that’s available, but sometimes words are just not enough. And, it’s much easier to create connection from energy tools, than you can from only speaking.
Create Connection Using Energy Manipulation If you’re looking for a new job, or new clients, there are four effective energy tools from Access Consciousness® you can learn to use and have fun with them. But you must be willing to manipulate to create a connection. Manipulation is not bad or wrong. Babies, and little kids, manipulate with energy all the time to get what they want; that’s the kind of manipulation I’m talking about. Also, recognize that if you’re not willing to manipulate, you’ll end up being manipulated. Here are the four ways to use energy to create a connection, depending on the situation and the people you’re dealing with. It’s easy but it takes a little practice.
1. People who put up barriers Have you ever been in a situation where you talked and talked to someone but felt like you just weren’t getting through? It’s highly likely they had put up energetic barriers so they didn’t have to receive what you were saying. There is a way to create a connection with them. What you do is you pull masses of energy from them through your entire body and your being. You don’t have to set an intention, just ask. It’s almost like you’ve got a rope that’s going from their heart to you and through you. When you perceive the energy flowing, ask it to equalize. Do this in a meeting and you’ll get their attention. You’ll notice they have less of a barrier to what you’re saying. This tool is designed to get people’s attention so that everyone’s present and aware of what’s going on. You can’t pull too much energy
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or hurt anyone. In fact, when you pull energy from people, they start to feel better as it increases the flow into them.
2. People who are on neutral There are people who are always on the fence and don’t want to make a commitment. What are you going to do if you’re in a meeting with someone whose attitude is let’s-sit-back-and-see? You flow energy to them. Once that’s occurring you ask for the flow to equalize. It’s much easier than only giving reasons and justifications for why they should sign a contract, or make a deal with you. You’ll notice that they start talking because now you’ve got their attention. You’ve become so present in their world they can’t ignore you. That’s how you get them to make a commitment.
3. People who drain the life out of you Some people suck in our energy to get our attention. I have a friend who I used to visit. When it was time for me to go home,
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she’d get upset and cry because she didn’t want me to leave. It made me pull away, which is what most people do when someone’s sucking their energy. The way to handle these people is by flowing energy to them. With my friend, before it was time to leave her house, I’d start flowing masses of energy to her. She got so filled up with energy she didn’t cry when I left anymore. This is a great tool to use around the workplace. If someone is overly needy, flow energy to them. Pulling away doesn’t work; they’ll run after you faster! You can use the same tool with your kids. If I’m travelling overseas, which is something I do 10 months of the year, I’ll flow energy to my son who’s 11. I fill him up with energy and show him that I’m always available for him.
4. People who are pushy Most telemarketers push energy at you and usually that makes you want to get cranky and hang up. How do you
create a connection with pushy salespeople? Pull masses and masses of energy from them. They will either fall flat on their face or tell you why you shouldn’t buy their products. I’ve seen it happen, it’s amazing! You can use this tool with every single person in the entire world that owes you money. If you have a list of debtors, take it out and start pulling masses of energy from each person. Then ask for the payment to physically actualize now. You know for yourself that if you have a pile of bills, you first pay the one that’s demanding your attention. Practice using this tool, but don’t be vested in things turning out the way you want them to or it will not work. You must allow it to be the way it is.
Create Connection with Energy Tools You can do all four energy flows at the same time, so long as you practice. With more practice, you start to recognize the flows. But you don’t have to torment yourself.
Whenever you’re about to walk into a room, a meeting, or your family home just ask, what energy do I need to be to create connection and greater possibilities? About the Author Simone Milasas is a dynamic speaker, leader, and serial entrepreneur who travels the globe demonstrating how to do business from a place of joy. She has been at the forefront of cuttingedge business creation and development for over two decades. Simone is the founder and creator of Joy of Business, as well as the Worldwide Coordinator for Access Consciousness®, which operates in over 170 countries. Simone is the author of the internationally acclaimed book Joy of Business (currently available in 11 languages), and is releasing her second book ‘Getting Out of Debt Joyfully’ in November 2016. You can sign up for her free video series, Putting the Fun Back in Business, here: http://www. accessjoyofbusiness.com/fun
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Each week on Inspired Living, Marc and Kim will discuss different paths to achieving a more spiritual, balanced, happy and healthy lifestyle. Topics will elevate consciousness and range from metaphysics to the human and social experience and all things spiritual.
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Relationships The interconnectiveness among all human beings and, consequently, the relationships among us are the focus of this section. The dynamics of the web of connections we make is one of the most prominent aspects of human existence: how we interlace with each other’s existence in a meaningful way.
Protecting Yourself from Sociopaths in the Small Business World by Marcia Sirota, MD.
It Started with a Small Project Not that long ago, I found myself in an interesting situation. I’d wrapped up a small business project with a colleague who’d begun to show me a very unpleasant side of themselves. I found myself feeling quite grateful. I was relieved to have discovered the true nature of this potential business partner before I’d agreed to take on any other projects with them. This person had approached me months before, explaining that their philosophy mirrored my own and suggesting that we join forces. I understood the benefits of creating partnerships and was open to the possibilities of working together. Omtimes.com
Charm only Goes So Far Although, on the surface, this person appeared charming and talented, there were a few things I’d noticed that made me hesitate to fully trust them. There was the fact that they had no problem asking me for considerable help with their personal projects, but the help they promised me on mine never actually materialized. There was their habit of behaving seductively toward people of the opposite sex, and using this seductiveness to gain advantages. And then there was that nagging feeling just beneath the surface of my conscious awareness; a sense of discomfort with this person that never went away.
Grateful for the Early Discovery I was lucky, because when we did this one project together, they happened to be under a lot of stress from another situation. Their well-tended facade crumbled briefly, and I could see the real person in action. Their selfish, callous and
unethical behavior confirmed all my doubts about them. I realized that my feelings of discomfort toward this person had been my intuition sending me warning signals. They warned about someone who was untrustworthy, and possibly even dangerous. This experience led me to wonder how an entrepreneur could protect themselves from the sociopaths in their field who might be presenting themselves as a desirable small business partner.
Sociopaths Manipulating Others to Achieve Their Ends In the book, The Sociopath Next Door, by Martha Stout, the author describes sociopaths as people who feel free to do whatever they want. They are unhampered by qualities such as empathy, caring for others, a conscience, remorse or guilt feelings. Dr. Stout says that these people operate through manipulating others to achieve their ends. In an interview with Interview
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Magazine, Dr. Stout explains that for a sociopath, the ideal person to manipulate is “smart enough and capable enough to do him some good in the world,” because, “how much fun is it to manipulate someone who is stupid and incompetent?”
Are You Someone Who is Easy to Manipulate? Dr. Stout goes on to say that another “good person to manipulate is someone of high character, because that is also fun for the sociopath.” Still, she says that “the sociopath wants the person to be easily enough fooled to stick with him. This can be accomplished by looking for someone who is very, very loyal.” Dr. Stout says that being very loyal, although a positive trait, “also blinds people to some of the traits of the person they’re loyal to.” She says that most people “think that deep down, everybody has a conscience, and it turns out that’s just not true.”
Small Business Qualities Can Lead to Mistreatment When we think about the qualities that would make a good entrepreneur. These qualities include intelligence, Omtimes.com
the willingness to work hard, the ability to form good partnerships. In addition, there are traits like loyalty, trust, and seeing the best in the other person. These qualities can backfire when we’re unfortunate enough to encounter a sociopath. Our natural tendency to give other people the benefit of the doubt, as well as our (mistaken) belief that everyone is basically decent, will set us up to manipulation and mistreatment by these unscrupulous individuals. The fact that they’re invariably charming and charismatic only makes them that much more difficult to deal with.
Playing to Win the Game and Relieve Boredom Dr. Stout explains that sociopaths are unable to fill up their lives with positive relationships. She says, “if you’re sociopathic and you really have no caring for anybody, there’s not much left, only boredom, and the way to relieve that... is to play a game and make sure that you win.” Dr. Stout says that the sociopath finds relief from boredom when
they’re able to “successfully manipulate someone into doing something that he or she would not have done otherwise.”
How to Protect Yourself and Business from Potential Danger So, what does an entrepreneur do when they’re considering joining forces with another person? How do they protect themselves and their small business from being preyed upon by such a potentially dangerous individual? I’d say that we always need to listen to our intuition. If there’s a nagging feeling in the pit of our stomach that something isn’t right, we need to pay close attention to it. If this person is doing things that seem a bit fishy, we must try not to see these behaviors in the best possible light. Rather, we might hold a higher degree of suspicion, and ask ourselves what else these actions might indicate.
Self-care, Skepticism, and Allowance for True Nature We must never put loyalty ahead of self-care. We must
move slowly in establishing our professional partnerships, as I did. It allows the opportunity to learn about the other person and to see their true nature emerge. There are many useful tips for identifying and dealing with sociopaths in Dr. Stout’s book, as well. I encourage everyone to consider the possibility that the charming, brilliant, talented person who’s interested in partnering with you might not be what they appear, on the surface. If you want to be safe, you must pay attention, be skeptical, and protect yourself from the sociopathic entrepreneur. Reference: http://www. interviewmagazine.com/culture/ conscience-lack-of/
About the Author Marcia Sirota is an author, speaker, coach, and psychiatrist. She is the founder of the Ruthless Compassion Institute. It has the mandate of helping people have better relationships, be happier, and create good habits. Sign up for her free wellness newsletter at: www. marciasirotamd.com Omtimes.com
Metaphysics
The Best Ways to Deal with Emotional Vampires by Michele Landers Here is one basic rule of life: It’s all about energy, and relationships are a major source of energy exchange. Relationships can either feed our power or drain our power. There is rarely a middle ground.
• Your boss?
Who, therefore, would you guess are the biggest energy drains in your life?
If you said, “all of the above” you may be right. And, unless you are living in the Himalayas,
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• Spouse? • Your relatives? • Your co-workers? • All of the above?
alone, you are not likely to escape the relationship dance that we engage in daily. Before we go further, know that we draw all relationships to us. Our relationships can be fulfilling or devastating experiences. Yet, good or bad, they also have the potential to teach us something about ourselves.
Learning More about Emotional Vampires Most of us will at one time or another encounter people who seem to suck the life force right out of us, leaving us dazed, angry, tired or exhausted. Another name for these people would be “Emotional Vampires.”
Emotional Vampires Come in Different Shapes and Sizes The Narcissist and Controller are similar because the common theme is me, me and more me. It is all about their lives or how you should run yours! In “conversation” with them (and I use that term loosely) it is a running monologue of their wins and (very few) losses in life, or what you need to do to
straighten out yours. Victim/Martyr/Drama Queen; “Poor me” is the usual, unstated, but the “read between the lines” message you hear from this combo. Nothing EVER goes right for them and they never act on any good advice offered to them. But, they keep coming back for more and more of your help repeatedly. An emotional vampire goes right for your jugular by pressing your most sensitive buttons. This leaves us in a weakened state, making us an easy target to drain emotionally. Emotional vampires may do it overtly or covertly. A covert vampire will say something like this: “My goodness dear, are you stressed, because I noticed you’ve put on a little weight.” “Bazinga!” as Sheldon from Big Bang Theory would say. In any case, most of us struggle to respond because we are trying to figure out what just happened. We just know we feel crappy, maybe a little dazed and probably weak.
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An Effective Plan of Action for Emotional Vampires One thing any of us may do is to have an effective plan of action for when we encounter these emotional vampires: • To begin, recognize the signs of an emotional vampire. If you feel you are in the company of one, metaphorically slap yourself awake, before they get a chance to dig their fangs any farther into your neck. Alert your personal power center to spring into action and take control. • Take in a deep breath and straighten your spine, pulling yourself up towards the sky. This will allow your energy to flow through you more easily, giving you more power. Mentally imagine you have scissors, and cut the energy cords that are snaking around and into you. • Next, send them waves of love…yes love. An emotional vampire needs lots of it because they are clearly coming from a place of lack. And anyway, remember
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whatever you send out comes back to you many times over! • Now, remove yourself from the situation in whatever peaceful way you can. • Finally, when you have a chance to clear your emotional space, ask yourself if this reminds you of other relationships in your life. Is there a common theme? Also, have you ever behaved in this way to others? Remember, whatever the outcome, it is all good. Each such encounter is a learning and growing experience. Live Miraculously! About the Author Michele Landers is a BoardCertified Life Purpose Coach, Hypnotherapist, Professional Numerologist and the author of two books: “The Tao of Numbers” and “The Year of Living Miraculously.” Michele has assisted clients nationwide to gain clarity and direction in their lives. Michele was a recurring coach on Fox/ WFLX “Eye on South Florida” with Shannon Cake. Reach Michele at michelelanders.com
Angel Blessings from the 12 Archangels What can we do to prevent ourselves from sliding into a dark hibernation where we forget that love is spring eternal? The 12 Archangels, ancient celestial mystics that show us the way through our lessons here on Schoolroom Earth, teach us that excluding the uninvited visitor of fear is not the way to feel better. Through their angel blessings, we are thus able to receive many gifts of light and love.
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When the short days and long nights of winter approach, it is easy for our ego to slip into a despondent mood. With tiredness of body, mind and spirit, we may forget to stay vigilant of our comparing, judging and doubting thoughts. Like a fire out of control, these negative hindrances can deceive us into believing that our fears about the future are real. In a single moment of sleepy mindedness, we may jump off the safe cliff of grounded faith and tumble into the abyss of believing we are unworthy to experience our heart’s desires.
Angel Blessings Bring Insight and Healing They say that when darkness and despair slip through the cracks in the door, to invite them inside and let them sit by the warm fire. While we offer them hot cocoa, we will remember that Love in the color violet transforms even the fiercest fear. Fear’s not-goodenoughs are the logs that blaze brightly in the hearth burning with the Violet Flame! When the Light of Father God is fused with the Sound
of Mother God, Divine Love or Fire is generated. This fire is the greatest healing and transforming Power in the Universe. Violet Fire is the color of Divine Love that sends forth the vibration of forgiveness and thereby transforms fear’s illusions into love. It is the energy found within our crown chakras (battery of spiritual energy located around the top of the head). When ego purges fear’s offspring of shame, guilt, and lack, and commands these painful thoughts and feelings into the Violet Fire, we can recover our energy and use it for our greater good. To facilitate this renewal of our faith, the 12 Archangels offer us their 12 angel blessings of insight and healing.
The 12 Angel Blessings: 1) The blessing of Guardian Angel divine intervention offers support at all times and in all situations. Guardian Angels help you to stay awake and stay aware of the great power of love. 2) The blessing of Truth helps
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you to discern what comes from fear and is therefore, illusion. Truth from God is always of the highest and clearest vibration. 3) The blessing of surrender allows your ego to let go of the old ways that bring suffering. Say often, “I surrender to my greatest good and highest joy.” 4) The blessing of forgiveness opens your vessel to experience deep and profound healing. See forgiveness as Violet Fire pouring into every cell and molecule. Say, “I forgive it all, even that which my ego perceives is unforgivable.” 5) The blessing of togetherness works as a powerful, yet gentle, magnetic pull to gather your Soul family into your life. Give thanks that you are never without love on Earth as well as in Heaven. 6) The blessing of pets and nature provides you with a continuous flow of affection and true love of the Divine. Additional Angel Blessings Bring Beginnings
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7) The blessing of change tells you that everything that causes discomfort in the present moment is changing into something better for you. Focus on this positive change and express gratitude for it. 8) The blessing of endings works in partnership with the blessing of change. All that needs to end will end in God’s time and in God’s way. Endings open the door for new beginnings. 9) The blessing of beginnings bestows the power to consistently bring in more of Heaven’s abundance into each and every day. Today is a wonderful new beginning where you can begin to receive more from Source than you allowed yourself to receive yesterday. 10) The blessing of release and giving back to God makes it possible that all your old burdens of grief, guilt and shame can be lifted up and transformed with love. Giving God your grief, guilt and shame makes your Creator very happy and opens the door for you to receive joy, freedom and success in exchange.
11) The blessing of receiving all that you ask for and more. We encourage you to ask and to give thanks with trust that your desire (or something even better) is manifesting for you. 12) The blessing of gratitude for you, your life, your world and your Creator opens the floodgates of love and compassion. Compassion for yourself is the blessing to give to you that invites in surprise gifts of abundance.
Message from the 12 Archangels With allowing your mind and heart to experience these simple and life-changing angel blessings, you then call all lost power back to you. Your power (the light and sound of your thought and emotional energy) expands you so that you stay awake to the blessings flowing into your life from Divine Source. As your ego identifies the positive and lasting benefits of these gifts from Grace, you help all inhabitants of Planet Earth to awaken to the joy of receiving directly from Source.
And when the Light returns, cast away all beliefs that you may be living a deprived life. Put these thoughts and fears into the Violet Fire and forgive all past moments of feeling forsaken. God loves you and this love acts as a Divine Intervention in your daily life. Count on God, through your Soul, to redirect you so that each step forward gives you the confidence to smile at fear. Because you trust that confidence, your life is rich with angel blessings and abundant success!
About the Author Belinda Womack is the author of Lessons from the 12 Archangels, Divine Intervention in Daily Life. To learn more about Belinda, sign up to receive her complimentary meditation, learn about her 12 Archangel University membership program or to schedule a private session visit BelindaWomack.com. To watch the book trailer, go to: https:// youtu.be/UgXb7z3Y1pk
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Life Stages Heads up for next 12 Months
Make the most of meaningful events and encounters and lessen the effects of any negative experiences. Life Stages alerts you to specific occurrences, where you should best consolidate, or when to experiment; otherwise where to be cautious; when it’s down to you, or someone else; when to wait and when to act.
Life Stages Life Stages Life Stages
VIEW A Sampler REPORT https://az792155.vo.msecnd. net/samples/omtimes/life_st ages.pdfSAMPLER Awareness of potential development Your personality mask, material security and intellectual ability as well as emotional security, enjoyment of life and responsibilities. Your relationships and ability to deal with life and philosophical beliefs. Your personal status, social life, secret dreams. 20+ Pages delivered instantly on-screen & emailed.
Personal Growth & Development We grow as individuals as we face challenges and overcome life’s obstacles. This section is dedicated to helping you chart your course.
The Year of Redirection by Alan Cohen
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What Seems to Be a Dead End, May Be Redirection at Work One of the ways I like to make the end of a year work on my behalf is to assess how the past year has redirected me. It’s tempting to look back on the year and regret errors I made or things that seemed to not work out. But failure and regret
exist only at the shallowest level of appearances. What seems to be a dead end sign is an arrow pointing you in another direction. The universe is saying, “This is not it. There is a better direction for you. Go that way and you will find what you are looking for.� No movement in life is wasted. It all has a purpose. You just have to know how to read the signs.
The Signs Found in Shopping for a New Home Dee and I were shopping for a new home when we found a lovely parcel on a mountainside. The lot was large with magnificent views, a meandering stream running through it, and decently priced. Although we would have preferred a property with a home already on it, we liked it and told the real estate agent we were going to make an offer. She arranged for us to meet the owner.
A Burdensome Mortgage Leads to a New Discovery The day before we were to sign, I received a letter from
the bank that mortgaged my current home, informing me that my mortgage would be more than doubled starting the next month. This had to be an error, so I phoned the bank. The agent informed me that the loan I had taken out had been based on interest only for ten years, and now I would have to start paying principle as well. This news was quite burdensome, considering I would have to pay a large mortgage on our current home until we sold it, plus the new one, plus build a new home. I felt overwhelmed and told the real estate that we would not purchase the new property.
Redirection to Something Much More Desirable A month later, we discovered a different property closer to the ocean, just a few miles down the hillside from the one we had looked at. This property already a well-built turnkey house on it with a great view, plus a car and truck thrown in with the deal, all at a price not much higher than the mountainside property. We
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fell in love with the place, a friend offered us the money to finance it, we made a deal, moved in, and loved it.
Happier Results Thanks to Redirection Living at the lower altitude, we discovered that the weather in this microclimate was entirely different than those nearby. We looked up the mountainside to see the property we had originally considered and noticed it was extremely rainy. Our new property was almost constantly sunny. We could hardly believe the difference in rainfall over just a few miles’ distance and a few hundred feet in altitude. But it was so. We were extremely grateful that we didn’t purchase the mountainside property. It would have been much too rainy for us.
Looking Back and Finding a Gift Looking back on the process of the mortgage being more than doubled at that exact moment, dissuading us from purchasing
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the mountainside property, I see that the mortgage increase was a huge gift. Spirit was redirecting us to live in a place much more desirable, and avoid the work of building a house. What seemed to be a curse was a blessing. We eventually sold our original house, so everything worked out perfectly.
Redirection and Trust More than Meets the Eye Everything is working out perfectly even when it doesn’t appear to be so. All spiritual traditions teach that the world we believe is so real is really a manifestation of maya, or illusion. When a job, business deal, or relationship falls through, don’t be fooled by the current appearance. There is more going on than meets the eye. If this deal or relationship was right for you, it would have worked out. There is something better in store for you. Relax, breathe, and be patient. You are being redirected.
Another Example of Redirection in Life
A young woman called in to my radio show on hayhouseradio.com. She reported that a guy she had dated told her he didn’t want her to phone or text him anymore. She was wondering if she should pursue him. “Why would you want to pursue someone who doesn’t want you?” I asked her. “This fellow obviously doesn’t recognize the beauty and value you offer. Or he is simply not a good match. There is someone else out there who will desire and appreciate you for who you are. If you are busy chasing someone who doesn’t care, you are not available to someone who does care. Let go of what doesn’t fit so you are free to receive what does fit.”
The Year of Redirection Where Does It Lead? What is right for you will find you without struggle or suffering. If you must fight with yourself or someone to make something happen, it’s not it. There is a better fit for you, and
you can have it if you let life take you where it-and you-want you to go. How has this year redirected you to get clear on what you want and what you don’t want, and where you would like to head now instead of where you were headed? If you are now heading in a new and better direction, the experiences of this year have served you well. Let us bless them all, along with the greater good to come. About the Author Alan Cohen is the author the bestselling A Course in Miracles Made Easy: Mastering the Journey from Fear to Love. Become a certified professional life coach though Alan’s deeply transformational Life Coach Training beginning January 4. For more information about this program, his books and videos, free daily inspirational quotes, online courses, and weekly radio show, visit www.alancohen.com, on FB Alan H. Cohen (author), and Twitter @alanhcohen
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Why Choose the Path of Spiritual Surrender? by Maryjane Osa
People admire someone with definite goals who succeeds in achieving them. But, pursuing a concrete goal does not always result in personal, relational, or career success. And what about those free
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spirits who fall into the right job, the right relationship, or the right opportunity without having a plan in mind at all? What role does the path of spiritual surrender have in life?
Goal Setting - a Necessity? Many teachers emphasize the need to set clear intentions to manifest one’s desires. This is not only the case in spiritual practice but also for business and careers. Towards this end, we make lists, set priorities, create vision boards, and speak affirmations. What could possibly be wrong with assuming that progress begins with goal setting? Spiritual seekers commit themselves to visioning the desired outcomes and having faith that the universe will manifest what they envision. Often, a clear focus and consistency in assuming the reality of the wish fulfilled
yields the expected results. But not everyone who commits themselves to spiritual practice will experience unequivocal outcomes. Failure may then lead to self-recrimination or blame placed on the teachers. It may result in giving up spiritual practice and resuming possibly harmful behaviors as compensation. To know why goal setting and visioning are sometimes problematic, we must explore the complexity of the spiritual mind.
Spiritual Surrender and The Illusion of Control As the human mind is bound by physical reality and by individual perspectives, desires that arise in the mind are similarly limited. How can we truly know what is in our best interest? Our awareness doesn’t take into account the myriad possible connections we may have with people and events.
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Thoughts of the past and hopes for the future burden us. We may not be aware of the extent to which we link our thinking to our emotions and past experiences. What we may consider bad and unwanted--say, a cancer diagnosis--may be needed to create the right conditions for us to evolve or heal some deeper, emotional wound. Success may require us to surrender to the unknown, rather than seek to consciously use the law to shape life according to our preferences. What is needed is access to a higher consciousness - outside of time and space - to sense and tap into the flow of life.
A New Premise Cultivate a relationship with the divine and learn how to use intuition to live a happier, more successful life. This process starts by assuming that the power of
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intention and individual vision are activated in partnership with the divine. Use mental discipline to create a receptive inner environment in which we can receive divine guidance. Sometimes, a goal may be unworthy of our attention. We need an inner process to understand when and if this may be true. This promotes the development of the spiritual mind.
Four Steps to Spiritual Surrender First, encourage a sustained awareness of your inner voice. There are many practices, like meditation, that help quiet the mind and bring one into stillness. By cultivating a state of calm within, it then becomes possible to distinguish between the urgings of the ego and the whispering of inner truth. Second, learn to comprehend
your spirit’s message. Some people hear a voice; others obtain access to the inner truth by interpreting images or feelings that arise when in the flow state. Each person has their own soul language. Third, accept inner guidance when offered. Sometimes, the spiritual mind will indicate a path of action that conflicts with a person’s strongly held preferences. To acknowledge one’s resistance and to release it - this is the path of spiritual surrender. It leads to true success. Fourth, act in alignment with this high consciousness once you have brought your inner guidance into conscious understanding. To choose words and actions that are in harmony with the inner self is to act for the highest good.
All is Well When we use divine guidance
as a primary tool for personal growth, expect the unexpected. Deep desires, which may not have been voiced as intentions, can then be spectacularly fulfilled. Acting from alignment with source means going forward in a state of peace and equanimity. This includes various strolls on the path of spiritual surrender. Everything is always working out for you. About the Author Maryjane Osa, Ph.D., is a sociologist, speaker, and educator. She is writing a book about the “spiritual but not religious” cultural trend in American society.” Maryjane is a spiritual practitioner working in the New Thought tradition. Connect with Maryjane on Facebook at www.facebook. com/dr.maryjane.osa. Or, check out her website and blog at www.maryjaneosa.com.
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MAGAZINE
December B 2016 Contributors Writers Alan Cohen Belinda Womack Christopher Buck John Holland Judi Lynch Kyle Zagrodzky Marcia Sirota MD Maryjane Osa Michele Landers Rachelle Wilber Simone Milasas
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