April/May 2012 On the Minds of Moms

Afew months ago I started to feel a tiny shift in my relationship with my oldest daughter, Grace. My talkative 8-year-old, started giving me the standard answer of “good!” to my typical “how was your day” question. Even though our bedtime routine consists of snuggling in to recap the day and offering her the time to decompress, share her thoughts and ask questions, I noticed she was skimping on the ‘good details’ that once freely poured from her mouth. You know the details I’m talking about… the ones that flash like a neon sign silently divulging what’s really going on in their young mind?! I quickly slipped into ‘helicopter parent’ mode and started worrying about our lines of communication remaining open. How could she already feel like she can’t spill every bean to me? Then during one of my weekly time wasting social media episodes, I stumbled across exactly what I was looking for. I call it Project Pen Pals.

The next day I took Grace to the store and asked her to pick out a journal or notebook she really liked. I didn’t tell her what we were using it for, just that I wanted her to choose her favorite. That night, after she was in bed, I wrote my first letter to her. In it I explained my desire to get to know her better. I shared that I hoped we could use our journal to write letters back and forth about anything we’d like. I told her that when I had something for her to read and it was her turn to write, she would find our journal on her pillow. And when she completed writing something and it was my turn, she could tuck it secretly under my pillow. As I expected, Grace was ecstatic! And so, Project Pen Pals was born!

We have been keeping our journal for over a month now and it has been a special unintimidating way of connecting with her. I get to deliberately encourage her more often, provide her a platform to share her thoughts and ask those awkward questions, to create an ‘old fashioned’ keepsake to cherish for years to come and of course, I wouldn’t be ‘that mom’ if I didn’t think of how making the journal entries would help her writing skills.

The entire experience so far has really opened my eyes to parts of my daughter’s personality I hadn’t yet discovered. I feel strongly in the power of presence and in this ‘diary-like’ way I’m reminding her of the unconditional and non-judgmental love I have for her.

So my message to share here is if you might be thinking about ways to bridge the gap with your child, give the journal idea a try. The worst thing that could happen is you experience something profoundly neat and create a unique bond with your daughter or son along the way.

Happy early Mom’s Day!

dani

co-founder, editor and inspired mom

www.onthemindsofmoms.com

PUBLISHER DS Communication, LLC

EDITOR Dani Parkos Fluge

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INFORMATION mail: PO Box 190, Fargo, ND 58107

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OTMOM MISSION STATEMENT

On The Minds Of Moms Magazine is dedicated to providing parents of all ages a bi-monthly resource they can trust. A fresh approach to traditional parenting publications, we are modern and inspiring while offering a community of local support and real-life advice for today’s family.

On The Minds Of Moms contains views from across the parenting spectrum. These views do not necessarily reflect those of the publisher. All activities listed in these pages are at your own risk and require appropriate supervision.

OTMOM

laetitia mizero

fargo | nd

A native of Burundi and a former OTMOM feature [June.July 2010], Laetitia proudly calls Fargo, her hometown in the USA. Mom to Yann [16] and Nicole [10], she works at SENDCAA Head Start, and serves on several committees/boards in our community. An avid “gym-goer,” her daughter used to think “Body Pump” was a job. Laetitia also enjoys traveling and has been to more than 20 countries. Her funniest story would have to be the ski trip in Park City, Utah and her most interesting one was sailing in the Grenadines just a few weeks ago. Her last meal is a toss between oatmeal [with berries and peanuts] and Tiramisu, unless she can have them both!

deb uglem

moorhead | mn

Raised in Finely, ND, Deb has called Moorhead, MN her home for the last 10 years and has been a stay-at-home mom since returning to the area. She graduated from Drake University in Des Moines, Iowa with a degree in Journalism and Mass Communications. She is excited about her newfound time to write and finds it a welcome distraction to her daily activities. Most daily to-do’s center around her four children’s sport and school activities. Jake [17], Tony [16], Nick [16] and Emily [14] keep both her and husband Tim running in several directions. During her free time you can find her putting in some road miles, spending time with friends, or on the golf course.

patricia carlson

dilworth | mn

What do you get when you mix a full-time, freelance writer with a 1-year-old girl, two cats, a dog, a husband who works evenings, a house that needs picking up and nearly a dozen publications and clients who need their dead lines met? Welcome to Patricia Carlson’s life. She is an award-winning journalist whose work spans magazines, television, radio, newspapers and the internet. She has produced, written, edited and directed programs for ESPN Radio, History Channel and Hallmark Channel. And she hosts customized media training workshops for groups like the North Dakota National Guard. You can view her work at www.patriciacarlsonfreelance.com

dr. rory trottier

grand forks | nd

Founder of Northern Valley OBGYN in Grand Forks, Dr. Rory Trottier has strong ties to the community. He grew up in Belcourt, ND and went to Mayville State University for his undergraduate degree and was a high school science teacher before going back to school to earn his medical degree from the University of North Dakota. Following his residency at Good Samaritan in Phoenix, AZ in 1999, Dr. Trottier moved back to the Grand Forks community where he currently makes his home with his wife, Kerry. Away from the clinic he enjoys spending time on the golf course and playing guitar.

dr. stephanie roers

fargo | nd

Owner and operator of Summit Chiropractic in Fargo, Dr. Stephanie Roers has a desire and passion to help people. She enjoys working with individuals of all ages and has advanced training with pediatric and prenatal chiropractic techniques. It is her goal, and the goal of Summit Chiropractic, to help families become healthier, happier, live free of pain and Elevate Your Health!

the average number of bras a woman owns Tip: when washing a bra place it in a mesh laundry garment bag [found at any big box store], set the rinse for cool or cold This can make the elastic in the bra snap back to the original shape And it’s never a good idea to put a bra in the dryer—line dry ONLY .

Mango Banana Soy Smoothie

1 cup soymilk, vanilla

1 cup orange juice

1 cup mango chunks, frozen

1 banana, sliced

2 Tbs soy protein powder

1/4 cup ice cubes

1 tsp honey, optional

Puree all ingredients in blender until smooth.

Serve immediately.

Yield: 5 cups. Per 2 1/2 cup

serving: 230 calories, 2 g fat

(0 g sat fat), 0 mg cholesterol, 120 mg sodium, 46 g

carbohydrate, 10 g protein

(6 g soy protein), 3 g dietary fiber

Recipe & photo courtesy of The Soyfoods Council

1857

the year Joseph C Gayetty of New York City rolled out his toilet paper invention .

sources: today show | good housekeeping silly facts of America | bookstrike.com

the average number of times people will laugh in a day How often do you get your giggle on?

the percent of school kids who will not use a school bathroom during the day This can cause anxiety and have effects on them socially and academically . Watch for signs .

the average number of 12-ounce cans of pop an American will drink per year

contest winner

aurelia

mom and dad: shelli and rocky schneider from: fargo, nd birthday: 11 2 11

my favorite eats…

Milk, milk and more milk! I hope solids will be making an appearance soon -- I hear sweet potatoes are delish.

i heart…

bath time, mirrors, books, naps, tickles and silly voices.

i am most like my…

daddy! I'm laid-back, happy and tell a great joke. Most people also say I look like him, but I think that's just because we're currently sporting the same haircut.

i’m not a fan of…

loud noises, especially when they interrupt my [beauty] sleep.

i’m happiest… being held and walked around, taking in the world.

contest runner-ups

finn

mom and dad: holly and tim thompson from: ashby, mn

birthday: 03 03 11 my favorite eats… goldfish.

i am not a fan of… getting my hair washed in the bath tub.

i'm happiest… riding around in my new cozy coupe.

brooklyn

mom and dad: heidi and vince williams from: fargo nd

birthday: 04 09 10

my favorite eats…

Mac-n-cheese & turkey dogs.

i am most like my…

Dad.  Exact same smile and identical feet.

i’m not a fan of… peaches!

Originally from Devils Lake, ND and one of nine children, Cheri Hanson is a busy single mom to Gavin [11], Rashi [5] and Brya [16 months] With an associate degree in Applied Science Registered Nursing she one day hopes to head back to school and earn a BA in Nursing When she isn’t working at the Doublewood Inn as a server, Cheri loves snuggling on the couch with her kids to watch movies and in warmer months riding bike, taking walks, picnics in the park and frequenting the North-side pool She also loves to cook, but is the first to admit baking isn’t her strong suite and can’t even make decent Rice Krispies treats!

photos: rialee photography | jaci kulish

age35,fargo.nd

my friends give me… adult time! Great conversation, advice, a listening ear and shoulder to cry on. being a single mom i’ve learned… a lot about myself actually. You evolve into a different person when becoming a mom. I’ve learned patience, growth and unselfishness. I’ve learned a capacity to love that I had no idea existed. i would love to invent… a robot to clean and do my laundry [that includes wash, dry, hang, fold and put away the clothes].

i want my kids to grow up knowing… they can always count on me and come to me for anything regardless of the circumstance. It’s equally important to me they learn the things I was taught growing up in a Christian home…morals, ethics and God. I will always encourage them to dream big and sky’s the limit.

my biggest mom challenge… time management and organization. There is just not enough time in the day but that’s why we take it one day at a time.

the funniest person i know…

my amazing childhood friend, Kim Kenner. She makes me laugh to the point of pain! She is ‘one-of-akind’ and I love her dearly.

my fashion style would be best described as… somewhat trendy, but not over the top. I like to take risks, but I’m pretty conservative. if i could meet any one person, past or present…

it would have to be Eddie Vetter from Pearl Jam… old school crush you could say. I also wouldn’t turn down meeting Ryan Gosling!

one word that best describes me… genuine.

three things i’m addicted to…

Diet Coke, Milk and Bed Head Manipulator

growing up i always wanted to be… a teacher, nurse and a mommy. i can do without…

drama and judgmental people! Life is too short for that. something unique about me… probably that I have 5 brothers and 3 sisters,14 nieces and nephews and 8 great nieces and nephews. Needless to say Christmas is C-R-A-Z-Y!

five things always in my car…

Sunglasses, pen & paper, blankets [for winter], mosquito spray and sunscreen [for summer] i spoil myself with…

a cut & color and me time at least once a week. my breakfast meal of choice…

egg and cheese sandwich with, of course, my milk. something i rely on to keep my sanity… the gym. I love to work out…go group power!

i’m a big believer in…

God and the power of prayer. Through all my challenges I’ve leaned on HIM – He is the one person to extend unconditional love no matter the circumstance and will never fail me.

something you don’t know about me…

I have a hard time with horror flicks. I’m a big baby and have nightmares.

Like many Americans you probably spend $20 to several $100’s each month on acne treatment products, wrinkle creams, face washes, moisturizers and other skin care products.

Your skin is made up of several layers, the top-most micro-thin layer that typically consists of clogged pores and obstructs the penetration of your skin care products. Dermaplane treatments remove this top layer of dead skin and fine hair (sometimes called ”peach fuzz”) which enhances the effectiveness of your skin care regimen and can even improve acne scarred skin and fine wrinkles!

Learn more about the process and benefits at:

helping our kiddos be their best

story by | dr. stephanie roers

Attention Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder, ADHD, has become one of the hot-button topics over the last few years, but what is it? While vague, ADHD has been loosely defined as a problem with inattentiveness, over-activity, impulsiveness or a combination of these behaviors. In addition, ADHD often involves difficulty with aggressiveness, memory and muscular control. ADHD is currently the most commonly diagnosed neurobiological disorder of children. It is estimated that it affects 5 to 10 percent of children worldwide and the occurrence of this diagnosis is steadily increasing. But what really causes ADHD?

photo: thuen studios | scott thuen

There are numerous theories or proposals as to what causes ADHD, however, no single cause can be agreed upon. Many scientists believe that ADHD is the result of genetics. Still others believe that environmental contaminants such as heavy metals, pesticides, solvents and nicotine are to blame. The truth of the matter is that we just don't know. Recent research suggests that it is actually a combination of factors. This theory involves epigenetics, which looks at how dietary and environmental factors influence genetic makeup and gene expression. What this means is that the food we eat and the chemicals in our environment affect how our body functions and responds. Our gut forms the main barrier between the outside environment and our bodies. It is important to screen your child for food sensitivities, as that could be a contributing factor to their ADHD symptoms. Failure to provide our bodies with the proper raw materials and a healthy environment can lead to unfavorable physical and behavioral manifestations, including ADHD. So what then, can we do to provide our children with the things they need to maximize their genetic expression?

Nutrition has been shown to have a significant impact when working with children diagnosed with ADHD. Eating foods that improve levels of dopamine and norepinephrine naturally, which is what ADHD medications often target, can be beneficial. These are naturally occurring neurotransmitters in our bodies that promote attention, improved mood and motivation, and can be found in apples, almonds, avocados, bananas, beans and legumes, eggs and lean proteins to name just a few. It is also important to remember that foods containing numerous chemical additives can be detrimental in all children, but especially those with ADHD. These foods include low or no fat items, foods that are overly processed, foods with dyes or preservatives, and foods high in sugar. A great rule to keep in mind when shopping for food is to “shop the perimeter.” What this means is spend most of your time in the produce, meat and dairy sections and spend the least amount of time, and

money, in the middle aisles, as this is where the most highly processed items are found!

The nervous system is possibly the most important piece to this puzzle. One of the most effective ways to assess the overall function and integrity of the nervous system is through chiropractic care. Chiropractors work to correct spinal misalignments that affect the normal activity and function of nerves. Additionally, chiropractic care helps restore normal spinal movement, which is necessary for communication between the brain and the rest of the body. Picture this communication like making a phone call, or even better yet sending a text. If you have spinal misalignments it is more like sending a letter, yes, snail-mail. This means that the message arrives much slower, if at all. Chiropractic care helps to ensure that the messages from your nervous system are reaching their intended recipients and creating the desired action. A recent study showed that children with ADHD who received regular chiropractic treatment showed improvement of ADHD symptoms, as well as behavioral social or emotional difficulties.

While the diagnosis of ADHD has become increasingly more common, there are things that can be done to improve the lives of children that have been diagnosed with it. It is important to look at multiple factors including nutrition, chemical exposure and nervous system function. By addressing these areas, children may experience better function and overall improvement in their day-to-day lives. If you have any further questions, do not hesitate to contact your chiropractor and discuss all the options for your child.

Dr. Stephanie Roers is a chiropractor serving Fargo and the surrounding areas. Whether you need an injury or accident treated, have a specific body problem [back pain or a spinal condition], need pain relief, or just want to improve your overall health such as massage therapy, corrective exercises, nutritional counseling Summit Chiropractic may have a solution for you through chiropractic care.

techytraining

photo: thuen studios | scott thuen

story by | otmom

Lana Nicholas knows the importance of taking care of herself and staying fit. She is a former college basketball player and is currently a Chiropractor at Towner County Medical Center in Cando, North Dakota. She totally knows the benefits, personally and professionally, of making physical fitness a priority. But this mama of three [Drew 8, Elle 5 and Blake 4 months] is part of the real world too!

“Working, volunteering, along with being a mother and wife, keeps life busy,” Lana says. “Exercise and taking care of yourself ends up of the bottom of the to-do list...I am sure all moms can relate!” And for Lana, the nearest gym is 35 miles away requiring additional to-do items to the list such as drive time and care for the kiddos. Lana needed something that fit her schedule, motivated her, was physically challenging and was something she couldn’t blow off. She called personal trainer Rachel Shambaugh at Health Pros in Fargo.

miles of convenience…anywhere Fargo? That’s a 200 mile commute from Cando! No, there was no drive time to worry about.

Lana had the opportunity to train in person with Rachel when she tagged along with one of her friends who is a regular client of Rachel’s. “After this 30-minute, tough workout, hitting every muscle group...I felt so good!”

business owners and grandparents alike have long embraced the wonders of videoconferencing via skype

Lana remembers. “Wishing I could train with Rachel every week, I thought ‘could she personal train me from home over Skype?’” For Rachel, the answer was YES!

Business owners and grandparents alike have long embraced the wonders of videoconferencing via Skype. There is no charge for the technology and you only need a computer with a built-in or plug-in webcam. And VOILA! You are interacting in real time with your co-worker, nana or in this case your personal trainer. Lana just walks to the playroom/workout room in her home, turns on her computer, calls Rachel via her Skype account and gets ready to take part in a full-body workout customized to her goals and fitness level.

“I have not had any challenges other than maybe the occasional bad internet connection,” Rachel says. “The

surprise has been how easy it is to train someone via Skype and how it feels like you’re physically right there with the person!”

Skype training has many advantages and a big one is mobility. Maybe you have a demanding schedule with barely a minute to spare. Maybe the gym scene isn’t for you. Maybe you travel a lot for work. Or maybe, like Lana, you live in a rural community that doesn’t have a fitness center. Anywhere you take your laptop or iPad and can get on the internet, you can bring the workout to you.

your time…your health

“I have bought every exercise video from P90X to Jillian Michaels,” Lana confesses. “But I found they become very repetitive. It is easy to pause the DVD and do something else around the house. Skype training keeps me accountable and I schedule the workouts into my

you take your laptop or iPad and can get on the internet, you can bring the workout to you

week. Every workout with Rachel is challenging and different and I can't hit a pause button on her!”

Rachel, who has over 11 years of personal training experience, said there is really no limitation to Skype training, space requirements are minimal and the equipment needed can be stored in a closet. “Free weights, resistance bands, an exercise ball and a yoga mat would be the basic equipment investment required,” she explains adding that a BOSU ball and TRX® Suspension Trainer are great additions as you advance your training.

“Even with simple equipment my workouts are always challenging and different,” Lana says. “If I’m not healthy,

I can't keep my family healthy! Skype workouts with the trainers at Health Pros is a great way to invest in your health.”

Whether your goal is to lose weight, reduce stress, get stronger or just to take time for yourself and feel better, consider Skype training. Convenience, accountability and personalization are just a click away!

Health Pros Personal Training Center offers all the amenities of a large scale health club without the crowd. They provide a one on one and small group personal training center where there is no membership fee, orientation fee or consultation fee...all you pay for is for personal training. They also offer yoga & pilates as well as Dance-Fit classes. Health Pros offers all the programs you need to meet your fitness goals.

For Your Home

fiberglass windows, finishing

Health Pros Personal Training Center

1800 21st Ave S, Fargo

i’m a good mom/grandma because…

story by | otmom

In honor of Mom’s Day, we asked you, OTMOM readers, to tell us what makes you special. After all, no one knows how much we give, juggle, encourage and plan better than, well, we do! Your answers left us cracking up, reaching for tissues and pretty much in awe. Here’s to you, ladies!

Candice [34], mom of Leighton [7], Beckham [21 months] from Dilworth, MN

I'm very positive and patient and don't strive for perfection; rather I guide my kids, based on my values, to help them be healthy, happy, respectful, appreciative, and well-rounded individuals. I think I am pretty good at imitating Elmo & Cookie Monster, playing dress up and I make an amazing PB&J!

Kathy [60] grandma of Gabby [11], Kolin [5], Anna [2], Kynlie [2 months] from Watford City, ND

I get the best of both worlds…mom and grandma and have the great joy of having them all live a few blocks from me. With my grandkids, I have the privilege of enjoying the world through their eyes of innocence, humor and joy. I can spoil them unconditionally, get to read all the kids books again, take them to movies and snuggle way past bedtime. I can pass on family history and make special memories I hope that one day they will share with their kids and grandkids. And finally, as a mom, I get to offer love and support to my children as they raise their children. Love, time and patience are things that make a good grandma... and I had the best teacher, my Mom.

Lisa [35] mom of Emily [4], Ethan [2] from Fargo, ND

I try to keep a balance between what my children need and what I need. I take time to read articles, ask questions and fret over the right way to raise my children so they will become responsible, caring adults and I realize sometimes you have to throw all the advice out the window and go with your gut.

Laura [40] mom of Peyton [7], Parker [3] from Elk River, MN

I encourage my children to play in mud puddles at winter's thaw. I teach them that being kind is more important than anything else they can be. I read to them every day. I singlehandedly assembled the 80 piece Barbie house that Santa brought last Christmas. I apologize to them when I am in the wrong. I wrestle with them, tickle them, throw them over my shoulder and do all the other "daddy things" while dad is away serving our country. I make them say "please" and "thank you"…A LOT! AND I am learning, with age, that it is okay not to be perfect.

Heather [36] mom of Landen [6], Addison [4], Boedy [2] from Ray, ND

I am a real Mom who gets stressed, loses her patience and then yells at times. But I love my children unconditionally and when they are sick I am right there

to comfort them. I have slept in a hospital chair for 2 ½ nights snuggling Boedy when he was hospitalized with pneumonia. Held hands and slept in bed with Addy after she had her tonsils and adenoids out. Had many comforting conversations with Landen when he was scared to start a new school and meet new friends. I cherish the one-on-one dates I try to have with each of my children and I love the twinkle in their eyes as they laugh and my heart swells when they give me a hug and say "I love you mommy." I love you to pieces too Landen, Addison and Boedy!

Jodi mom of Tyler [26], Jeran [23], Sawyer [18], Nikki [12] from Fargo, ND

I have always been very close to my own parents—a special closeness and unconditional love that has laid the foundation for me to be a good mom. My mom once told me to be a person with heart and compassion and learn ‘how to listen’—words of wisdom that have resonated with me both as mom and in business. I hope through the many journeys I’ve had in my career I have instilled in my kids that a good living is not just given to you; it take years of hard work and an inner drive to accomplish goals and dreams. And in a few years as I near the end of bringing my kids to adulthood, I am tickled that come July I will become a GRANDMA! I am so blessed and grateful for what I have in my life and who I have in it. My love for my family is deep and precious.

Heather [45], mom of Ted [17], Sam [15] from Grand Forks, ND

I‘ve ferried my boys to lessons, games and parties, but more importantly I hope I found time to talk about life lessons: politics, religion, tolerance, patience, fulfillment, pain, civic duty and inner beauty. There is no textbook for teaching life or how to turn boys into men, so I hope they keep asking me the questions.

courtesy of haney's

runnin’ for a reason

story by | otmom

For Jeana Peinovich it is the opportunity to bring more awareness to her organization. For Stacey Allard and Kate Frappier it is about camaraderie with their clients and having fun while being active for a great cause. And for Angela Kolling it’s about remembering her daughter. These women all started their Fargo Marathon journey for different reasons, but they share a common goal to raise funds and awareness for charity organizations that are near and dear to their hearts through GoFarCharity.

Fargo Marathon founder, Mark Knutson has always wanted the marathon to have a donation aspect. “We used to set up an online link whereby people could make a donation to one or two charities that we chose in advance of the race,” Mark says. “A few years ago, however, I met with Tom Donaldson, who wanted to set this up for the American Cancer Society. Tom and Stacy Duncan, who is with the American Heart Association, then “ran” with the concept of getting more charities involved, and the rest is history.”

That history has included 952 runners and walkers over the past two years raising more than $281,000 for various local and regional charities. This year there are over 20 charities you can support. The real beauty of GoFarCharity is it is for everyone! From the seasoned marathoner to first time 5K walker, everyone can make a difference come race day:

for someone you love

Angela Kolling is a wife, mother, full-time nursing student and will be running her first half marathon this

May while she and her friends and family support the American Cancer Society through their DeterminiNation team called Pounding the Pavement in Memory of Pookie. Angela’s daughter Morgan “Pookie” lost her battle with brain cancer June 22, 2009 at the age of eight. But cancer never beat Morgan or her spirit of giving to organizations including the American Cancer Society.

“This way I can still spread the word on the devastation cancer causes, let people know that kids get cancer too and donate to a charity that meant something to our daughter,” Angela says. “I knew that if I was running in Morgan’s memory and for all the other kids out there that have battled or will battle cancer that I would be able to actually finish the half marathon. I will have NO EXCUSES to not get out there and train. When I want to be lazy or I want to stop running, I just remember all that my daughter lost and what these children with cancer face on a daily basis.”

giving back to those giving

Throughout the year Lend A Hand focuses on engaging, supporting and improving volunteer efforts to raise funds for people experiencing a medical crisis. With their first GoFarCharity team last year, Lend A Hand’s director Jeana said their goal was to offer community members a new way to support the program and help even more families in need.

“Among those participating for Lend A Hand, were volunteers and recipients that wanted to give back to the program, several coworkers and other friends of people who were helped through Lend A Hand,” Jeana explains. “I focused more on ‘participation’ versus fundraising…engaging others to do something good for themselves while helping others…just as I am this year.”

fun & focused mission

For Kate and Stacey, the owners of Health Pros in Fargo, being a part of a GoFarCharity seemed like a no brainer since their business is focused on keeping people fit and active. Choosing the organization they wanted to support was just as easy.

“Like many others, both of our families have been affected by cancer,” Stacey explains. “Some have lost their battle, some have won their battle and some are still fighting their battle.” The Health Pros DetermiNation team is just another form of motivation Kate and Stacey can give their clients and friends to get fit and stay active. “We are so excited to see how big we can get our team so we can train together, build friendships and share each other's pain,” Stacey says with a smile.

sign me up

Want to be a part of the action and join a team? It’s easy:

step #1 Register for the marathon event of your choice. You can do this online www.fargomarathon.com

step #2 Register for a charity team, by going to the GoFarCharity website [www.gofarcharity.com/charities], click on the respective link and follow the teams instructions [find a specific DetermiNation team by clicking on the American Cancer Society link and then click “view all teams” under Top Teams].

step #3 Tell everyone you know how they can support your efforts by going online and making a donation.

That’s it! Charities will typically provide running shirts and/or other items to their team members, but maybe the best part is the pride you will feel. Pride in yourself for finishing a tough race while helping great local organizations continue to do the good they do in our community.

“I think GoFarCharity will continue to grow each year,” says Mark. “Someday, I think our total dollars raised will be in excess of $1 million!”

So, come on! Lace up those shoes, get registered and start runnin’ for a reason with GoFarCharity!

2012 GoFarCharity participants:

Alexa's Hope

Alzheimer's Association

American Cancer Society

American Heart Association

Arthritis Foundation

Catholic Charities ND

DMF Lend A Hand

Fm Dorothy Day House

Habitat for Humanity

Hero, Healthcare

Equipment Recycling Organization

Hope, Inc

House of Everyday Learning

Lutheran Social ServicesND

March of Dimes

National Multiple Sclerosis Society

ND Autism Center

North Dakota Leadership Seminar

Oak Grove Lutheran School

Rape and

i love mondays …

girlfriends

i love mondays …

laetitia mizero

Dear special girlfriends,

...a new day, a new week, a chance to REFOCUS or to BUILD on the good habits I'm forming to transform my life!

Every Monday, I grab a new YMCA schedule and highlight the classes I ASPIRE to do for that week. I know I'm not being kind to the environment with all the paper I'm using.

But, I need to SEE. I need a MAP, and I need to have this comprehensive plan for the week to make sure I include THAT class that is a little bit of a challenge to me, or out of my comfort zone. This week, it will be BODY FLOW and SPINNING, just one class of each, only two hours of my life.

My best excuse NOT to go to spinning classes [actually I have two] is "THOSE TINY SEATS HURT MY BIG BUTT" and the other one is "THE CLASS IS DOWN TOWN and not at SCHLOSSMAN!" Come on, this is Fargo! Nothing is further than 20 minutes in Fargo and with a warm/dry winter like this, I can't even talk about what used to be my third excuse [DRIVING TOO FAR IN WINTER]. I'm almost laughing at myself with a thought like that! Since when did I turn into this whiny girl [O.K, woman]?

DECIDE ON WHAT YOUR WEEK will be [mind, spirit and body] and JUST DO IT! -- my favorite slogan…Thank you, Nike!

I'm MORE than the physical mass [Thank the HIGHEST POWER, that is Imana or God, for me!] and each part of me deserves nourishment and growth.

I teach Yann [16] and Coley [10] about BALANCE every day and hopefully model that, too!

You want a HEALTHY MIND in a HEALTHY BODY? "You need to exercise your muscles as much as you develop your spirituality and sharpen your brain," I tell them. Coley acknowledges by rolling her eyes. "Please don't roll your eyes on me!" I say. Down in my mind, I know I'm planting the seeds, and I wouldn't be surprised if she gives the exact same advice to her kids when it’s her turn to be a mom. "You have to care about your financial wealth as much as your INNER wealth," "Oui, maman!" I will hear occasionally. "That's better than the rolling of the eyes," I compliment my 10-year-old, going on 18! Yann is the quiet one, today. He internalizes everything, when he has no time to argue or when he thinks it's not worth trying.

BALANCE, ALIGNMENT, EQUILIBRIUM, STABILITY, etc...call it whatever you want, but FIND IT!

I just wanted to write a short note to give you a little boost of ENERGY at the beginning of the week, but my mind wandered and I "Let it be!"

Here are a few concrete things that I strive to live by:

LIFE [METABOLIC] BOOSTERS:

• Frequent eating [five to six times a day]. The right fuel on MOST DAYS is good enough. Perfection is not of this world [90% of the time, alright?]

• Muscle boosting [Yeah Body Pump!]

• Aerobic Exercise [Walk, run or dance, it's all good for your ticker!]

• H2O, H2O, H2O [Enough said!]

• Eight hours of sleep daily [It's still tough for me! But remember "You snooze, you lose!"]

• Sauna: Infra-red is BEST [two to three times a week]. I'm happy to report that this is my TREAT after a good workout.

• Relax/Meditate/Pray/Stay in touch [It's good for your soul!]

• "Red, Red Wine" [Are you singing with me?] Remember that "MODERATION is the key." Now I will toast to that: Santé! “Grape, Grape Juice” doesn’t have a bite to it, but if that’s what you choose, it’s all good! Just mind the portion because of the sugar.

LIFE is good, we just have to choose to SEE it and welcome all its blessings! CHALLENGES will always be there, but hey, they make us grow STRONGER and well-rounded as human beings.

My mantra is: It's NOT about the challenge; it's WHAT YOU DO with the challenge!

Girlfriends, let's keep growing together!

Love your whole selves [smile]!

In health, Laetitia

P.S. I love EVERY day of the week!

camp directory

faith

Camp Joy Located on Star Lake, 14 miles east of Pelican Rapids, MN, we offer an affordable interdenominational Christian camp. Campers will be challenged by Biblical truths in the importance of Christian living. If you enjoy the water and the outdoors you will love Camp Joy! Camps run June-August with multiple sessions for ages 7-17 & costs $125. For more info 218.758.2924 www.campjoy.net. Register by June 15th!

Cooperstown Bible Camp We offer a great place for children to learn about Jesus Christ, build new friendships & have a ton of fun!  Camps run during June & July for those entering 1st grade through those who have just graduated high school. For more info on camp dates and registration details contact us at 701.797.2174, mail@ cooperstownbiblecamp.com, or visit www.cooperstownbiblecamp. com. Early registration ends April 30th!

Inspiration Point Christian Camp and Retreat Center Located on Spitzer Lake, 30 miles southeast of Fergus Falls, Inspiration Point offers a Christian Camping experience with comfortable lodging, excellent food, hospitable staff, reasonable pricing and a wide variety of activities for families and students of all ages. There’s so much more to tell you about, but it would take an entire website to describe it all…hint, hint …www.ipoint.org.

FaHoCha Bible Camp An interdenominational camp nestled beside South Lake Washington, 25 miles East of New Rockford, ND, we are known for our great food, family atmosphere, creative fun, making friends, affordability, and faith challenging. Multiple sessions, June-July, offer an opportunity for everyone to attend. For ages 8-18 & fees run $54-$129. Please call 701.674.3211 or go to www.fahocha. org for more info.

sport

American Gold Gymnastics Offering classes for kids ages 18 months to 18 years. Classes develop physical awareness, work on coordination, balance, listening skills, fine and gross motor skills and incorporate lots of fun! Summer classes run June 4-29 & July 9-August 2 with registration starting April 23rd. We also offer a Competitive camp June 1-3. For more info, www.americangoldgymnastics.com or 701.280.0400.

Boys University of North Dakota Basketball Camps Looking for hands-on and personal basketball instruction from the finest coaches and student-athletes in collegiate athletics? UND’s got you covered! And new this year is a Father Son Camp, June 15-16! Or choose one of our other sessions including UND Little Hoopers Camp June 4-7; Team Camp June 14; Elite Camp June 17-19; UND Little Hoopers Camp 2 August 13-16. For more info contact Thelma Abbott 701.777.3478, thelma.abbott@athletics.und.edu or visit www. fightingsioux.com/camps.

Cobber Soccer Camp Located on the beautiful Concordia College campus in Moorhead, we are the largest day & residential camp in the region for soccer players [boys & girls ages 6-18]. Come join our motivated & skilled coaching staff for a fun week of soccer June 18-21. Cost varies by age & team discounts available for teams that register together. For more info check our website for details & registration options, www.cobbersoccercamp.com or contact Dan Weiler at 701.361.8625.

Cobber Volleyball Camp Volleyball lovers won’t want to miss the Cobber Volleyball Camps located on the Concordia College campus in Moorhead, MN. You can expect outstanding instruction in a positive, enthusiastic environment while you learn a ton and have lots of fun at the same time! Youth Camp: July 16-18, All Skills Camp: July 18-20, Setter-Hitter-Libero Camp: July 23-26, High Performance Camp: July 30-31. For more info www.CobberVolleyballCamps.com or contact Tim Moser at mosser@cord.edu, 218-299-3520.

Dragon Swim and Dive Camps Located on the MSUM campus in Moorhead, MN our camps offer an excellent way to enhance your swimming and diving skills over the summer. To view more information on camp dates and costs or to register online please visit www. dragonswimmingcamps.com or www.mnstate.edu/swim.

YMCA Camp Koda This sports & activities day camp is a blast for ages 6-11. Camp is located at the Fercho YMCA in Fargo, and runs in weekly sessions June 11–August 17. For details, call 701.293.9622 or visit www.ymcacassclay.org/camp. Financial Assistance Is Available!

NDSU Basketball Boy’s Camp Regardless of your experience level, we will provide a camp that will fulfill your basketball needs: Kids’ Day Camp, June 4-6; H.S. Team Camp, June 7-8; Big Man/Guard Camp, June 17-19; Offensive Skills Camp, June 19-20; Overnight Camp, July 25-28. Register soon, as some camps will fill up quickly!!! Register online or print and mail brochure registration found on our website www.NDSUMensBasketballCamps.com.

The Ball Yard Baseball/Softball Training Center We provide affordable camps & private lessons for boys & girls all year round for ages 5 & up. The camps offered range from 2 hour mini camps up to 5 weeks of intensive training. For a complete list of the camps offered check us out at www.fmballyard.com, email info@fmballyard. com or call 701.356.YARD

health

Camp Odayin for Children with Heart Disease For ages 6-17, Camp Odayin provides a resident camping experience where campers discover outdoor, athletic & creative activities in a safe & medically supervised environment. Our camp in Crosslake, MN is fully staffed with pediatric cardiologists and nurses. The only cost is a $25 registration fee! Sessions available: July 16-20 [ages 13-15], July 23-27 [ages 16-17], August 6-10 [ages 11-13] & August 13-17 [ages 8-11]. For more info 651.351.9185, info@campodayin.org, www.campodayin.org.

theatre

Missoula Children’s Theatre The Missoula Children’s Theatre presents Beauty Lou and the Country Beast June 25-29 at Oak Grove Lutheran School’s Scheels Center [124 N Terrace, Fargo], for students in grades 1-12. For more info visit www.oakgrovelutheran.com.

self

Driver’s Education Learn the rules of the road at the Oak Grove North Campus [124 N Terrace, Fargo] May 29-June 1. $125 fee for classroom instruction. Behind the wheel instruction can be individually arranged for an additional $25 fee. For more info visit www.oakgrovelutheran.com/students

IAM ICAN The Academie Agencie hosts this girl's only camp held June 25-29 or August 6-10, Monday through Friday from 10am-5pm each day at our office in Downtown Fargo for girls ages 9-14. Campers will fine tune essential life skills including social graces, table etiquette, presentation and visual poise and build confidence in modeling and acting through tasks in runway, mannequin, and photographic modeling and TV commercial. Cost $250. For more info 701.235.8132, www. academieagencie.com.

North Dakota Farmers Union Camp This is an interactive, hands-on camp experience that builds teamwork, leadership & communication skills in youth. Campfires, theme nights, dances, swimming, sports, crafts & a banquet are just some of the fun! Four-day junior camps [three campsites statewide] for grades 3-6, from June 10 thru August 11, $75 and Five-day senior camps [located at Heart Butte Farmers Union Camp, near Elgin, ND] for grades 7-12, from June 11 thru August 3, $125 [NDFU membership required, $25/family/year]. For more info contact Jennifer Sundeen, 800.366.8331 ext. 107, jsundeen@ndfu. org or visit www.ndfu.org or “North Dakota Farmers Union Youth Program” on Facebook.

Tamahay Camp for Girls Located on Island Lake [Akeley, MN], camp is full of adventure – making new friends, appreciating nature, living with others yet growing in independence & individualism. Our campers [ages 7-16] enjoy horseback riding, canoeing, sailing, gymnastics, archery as well as cookouts & overnight camping. Session dates: June 25-July 7 & July 9-July 21. For more info 218.652.3033, www.tamahay.com.

exploration

Camp Invention A summer enrichment program that ignites the imagination. Camp Invention runs from June 11–15 at Oak Grove Lutheran School’s south campus [2720 32nd Ave S, Fargo]. The camp is for students in grades 1-6, cost is $220, families that register 3 or more siblings will receive $50 off per child. Visit www.campinvention. org for more info.

Discovery Science Camp Come and explore the fun of Science June 18–22 on the beautiful MSUM camps in Moorhead, MN. This residential camp is for students entering grades 7-10. Students will work with college science faculty doing hands-on science activities, use specialized equipment, go on field trips and complete a research project. Residential students $550, day students $300. For more info http://web.mnstate.edu/sciencecamp, wallacea@mnstate.edu, 218.477.2843.

YMCA Busy Beavers Camp This half-day camping experience is designed just for preschoolers, ages 3-5! Camp is located at the Fercho YMCA in Fargo, and runs in four-day sessions June 4 – August 16. For details, call 701.293.9622 or visit www.ymcacassclay.org/camp. Financial Assistance Is Available!

YMCA Camp Cormorant This resident camp provides kids ages 7-15 with a summer adventure on the shores of Big Cormorant Lake. Spots are filling quickly for weekly sessions running June 10– August 17. For details, please visit www.campcormorant.org or call 701.364.4116.

Financial Assistance Is Available!

BUSY BEAVER

CAMP

CAMP

april events

Child Abuse Prevention Month

www.stopchildabusend.com

www.pcamn.org

Help strengthen families and prevent child abuse and neglect.

12

Teen Summer Job Workshop

701.241.1472

www.fargolibrary.org

Is your teen looking for a summer job?

This workshop will show your teen how to create a basic resume and fill out an online job application, plus introduce him to resources to help in his job search. Be at the downtown Main Library [102 3rd St. N, Fargo] at 4pm. All materials provided. Pre-registration is required. Register online or email teens@cityoffargo.com for details.

12

Teen Night

701.499.6089

This program is for developmentally disabled youth ages 13 to 20. Activities include roller skating, bowling, movies, pizza parties and much more. The program emphasizes recreation, socializing and "having fun." Teen Night meets at Rheault Farm [2902 25th St S, Fargo], 7pm-9pm.

14 & 28

March for Babies

701.235.5530

www.marchofdimes.com/northdakota

Join the March of Dimes at the FARGODOME in Fargo on April 14th or at the Grand Cities Mall in Grand Forks on April 28th for the March for Babies. The money raised will support lifesaving research, community services, education and advocacy that help babies get a healthy start.

14

ZooZenture: For the Birds

701.277.9240

www.redriverzoo.org

They’re back! All of those birds that flew the coop last fall are starting to return. Have you forgotten which bird is which? Or maybe you would like to expand your bird knowledge. Kiddos [ages 4 & up] and parents head to the Zoo 2pm-3:30pm and learn how to identify some common birds, their calls, and what you can do to help them during their short northern vacation! Bring your binoculars and field guides if you have them. Meet some of the zoos resident and wild birds.

14

Teddy Bear Tea Party

701.433.5360

www.wfparks.org

It’s a Teddy Bear Tea Party at the Veterans Memorial Arena [1201 7th Ave E, West Fargo], 10am-11am! Girls ages 4-8 bring your teddy bear to a fun-filled Tea Party. Feather boas, hats, jewelry, games and a special craft are all included. Punch and cookies will be served. Make introductions and enjoy a Manners Matter tea party story. It’s a party to remember. $10 fee.

15

Charlotte’s Web

701.777.4090

www.cfa.und.edu

Head to the Chester Fritz Auditorium [Yale and University Avenue, Grand Forks] at 2pm for Theatreworks USA’s production of Charlotte’s Web, a play by Joseph Robinette with incidental music by Jeffrey Lunden, is based on E.B.White’s loving story of the friendship between a pig named Wilbur and a little gray spider named Charlotte.

21

21st Annual Hands-On Learning Fair

judy.milavetz@email.und.edu

Head to Purpur Arena [1122 7th Ave S, Grand Forks], 9:45am-1pm, for this FREE annual learning fair that offers activities for kids from birth to age 7, along with informational displays for their parents. Children engage in play-based learning experiences, including art, music, language, science & health.

21 Party for the Planet

701.277.9240

www.redriverzoo.org

Head to the Zoo, 11am-4pm, for some lovin’ your planet fun! Local organizations will have booths where young and old can find out how to get involved in making our community and our planet a better place to live.

21

Gigantic Rummage Sale

701.433.5360

www.wfparks.org

Over 100-130 vendors will be selling antiques, crafts, collectibles, closeout items and garage sale items at the Veterans Memorial Arena [1201 7th Ave E, West Fargo], 7am-2pm. Free parking. To register for a booth please contact the park office. Concessions will be available. $1.00 admission [17 & under free]

LEFT TO RIGHT: DR. BRENDA BARFIELD, DR. ANN SLAMA, DR. MARIE MOECKEL, DR. NAINA MAHALE

events event calendar | april

21

Red River Valley Heart Walk

701.212.3995

stacylduncan@heart.org

Head to Scheels Arena [5225 31st Ave S, Fargo], 9am-noon for the opportunity to improve your health by walking and raising funds to help fight heart disease and stroke.

21

All American Girl Tea Party

altrusafargo@hotmail.com

www.altrusafargo.com

Altrusa International of Fargo is hosting their first annual "All American Girl Tea Party" from 2pm-4pm at Faith United Methodist Church [909 19th Ave N, Fargo] to raise awareness and funds for our literacy projects in Bolivia and Africa as well as our local community reading programs. Girls, moms, grandmothers, aunts, sisters and friends [and of course your dolls] are all invited. Enjoy tea party sandwiches, fruit, cupcakes and tea [or pink lemonade]. Shelly Gompf, former Mrs. North Dakota, will be speaking and there will be activities for all ages such as hairstyling demonstrations, face painting and crafts. There will also be chances to win some awesome door-prizes & drawings and silent auction purses. Tickets are $18 if purchased before April

1st and then $25 after.

22

Unraveled Crafters

701.476.5977

www.fargolibrary.org

All interested crafters are invited to the Dr. James Carlson Library [2801 32nd Ave S, Fargo], 1pm-3pm, for some unraveled fun! If you are new to knitting or crocheting, they'll teach you!

24

Kids Are Our Business Breakfast

701.293.7273

www.raccfm.com

Join the Rape and Abuse Crisis Center for breakfast at the Holiday Inn at 7:30am & help out a great cause. Seating is limited so call today! Cost: $65 individual tickets. Table & Event Sponsorships available. Pre-registration encouraged.

24

Art for Two: Your Own Storybook

701.232.3821

www.plainsart.org

Head to the Plains Art Museum, 2pm-4pm, for a workshop made just for you and your kiddo [age 5-12] to enjoy some creative

time together. The two of you will create his/her own version of a favorite story or fairy tale in a one-of-a-kind art book. $22 for museum members and $25 for non-members. Register online.

25

Safe & Sound: Preparing Your Home for Baby

701.234.5570

www.sanfordhealth.org

You have the car seat, crib, diapers, and dozens of new outfits for baby. So are you ready to bring your newest family member home? This class at Sanford Clinic Auditorium [801 Broadway, Fargo], 6:30pm-8pm, will inform participants about the best practices in safe sleep and nursery safety, as well as provide general baby-proofing tips. You won't want to miss out on this valuable information. Free and open to anyone who will be caring for a little one. To register, call 701.234.5570.

27 & 28

Dragon Fire Walk

www.dragonraces.com

Register today online for the Dragon Fire Walk for Athletics! Take part in the Dragon Races, Youth Fun Run and Spaghetti Dinner. All proceeds benefit Dragon Athletic Scholarships!

28

Running for the Ribbons

kolling0129@yahoo.com

www.prayforgray.com

Head to the Kindred Memorial Building [131 Lyndon St, Kindred, ND] at 10am and participate in this very special 5k run/walk with ALL PROCEEDS going to Morgan’s Wish through the Pray for Gray foundation. Morgan’s Wish helps local families affected by brain cancer. $20.00/ person or $40.00/family and register by April 16th to guarantee a shirt.

28

Family Day

701.777.4195

www.ndmoa.com

Come out to the North Dakota Museum of Art [Centennial Drive —UND Campus, Grand Forks] 10am-noon for a wide variety of activities. Parents are encouraged to join their children for two creative hours of fun! All ages are welcome at this FREE event. All materials provided and no registration necessary.

may events

April 28–May 6

Parade of Homes

www.hbafm.com

Checkout some of the beautiful homes available to tour in the FM area noon–5:00pm weekends and 6:30pm–8:30pm weekdays.

3

Car Seat 101 for Expectant Parents

701.234.5570

www.sanfordhealth.org

Are your car seats installed correctly? Don't take the chance! This class is designed for expectant parents and focuses on infant car seats for newborns. Make an appointment be at the Sanford Auditorium [801 Broadway North, Fargo] between 6:30pm–8pm. Space is limited. Pre-registration is necessary.

4

5 Kite Day 701.241.8160

www.fargoparks.com

Come show off your kite flying skills at Ed Klapp Park [2801 32nd Ave S, Fargo], 12:30pm–3pm. Prizes will be given to winners in youth and adult categories.

5

FM Walk for Williams Syndrome Awareness

www.williams-syndrome.org

Head to Lindenwood Park [1705 5th St S, Fargo] and participate in the walk for Williams Syndrome Awareness. Registration starts at 10am with the walk following at 11am. A picnic lunch will also be provided. Register online at www.williams-syndrome.org

Faith Friday

701-232-6844

Kiddos in grades 5–8 can head to Faith United Methodist Church [909 19th Ave N, Fargo] for pizza, Wii, games, door prizes, activities, a movie & more! Parental permission required for this FREE event. Registration starts at 6pm; pizza served at 6:30pm and the fun lasts til 10pm!

8, 15, 22 & 29 Community Block Party

701.241.8160

www.fargoparks.com

Meet your neighbors at this fun family event 5:30–8:00pm. Sing your favorite karaoke song, play on inflatable games, take home a craft project and get your face painted. Enjoy free food while supplies last. May 8th Madison Park [3010 11th Ave N Fargo], May 15th @ Osgood School Park [5400 44th Ave S, & May 29th @ Bennett Park [1900 58th Ave S].

10

Philantropy by Design

www.areafoundation.org

Bring your girlfriends to Northern Home Funiture and Design [505 N Broadway, Fargo] & enjoy an evening of wine and hors d’oeuvres while bidding on fabulous silent auction items. Tickets are $40 & all proceeds support the work of the Women’s Fund Endowment, a permanent component of the FM Area Foundation. The Women’s Fund Endowment awards grants each year to area non-profits that support three areas of focus: children in the need of care, economic well-being of women and their families, & opportunities for women in leadership.

12

Mother’s Day Dandy

701.499.7788

www.fargoparks.com

No shame in helping the kiddo remember you on Mother’s Day! This class at the RDJ Rec Center [1104 2 Ave S, Fargo] will help your kiddos create a surprise present, 10am–11:30pm. $14 fee and pre-registration required.

12

Eco Chic Spring Junk Market

701. 356.6600

www.beingecochic.com

Head to the Eco Chic parking lot [4955 17th Ave S, Fargo], 9am–4pm, and look for treasure to take home as you browse repurposed furniture, vintage décor & handmade crafts.

Teri-Lee James, DVM, MPH Tracie Hoggarth, Dvm

12 & 19

B.L.A.S.T Babysitter's Day

Camp

701.364.1704

www.fmambulance.com

The initial course for teens and pre-teens on the responsibilities of caring for children. They will learn CPR and first aid for children, as well as diaper changing techniques, also learn about when to call 911 and what will happen if they do need emergency assistance. The course is designed for young babysitters ages 11–15. Limited space. Register online.

14 & 21

CPR/AED

– Heartsaver

701.364.1704

www.fmambulance.com

This course covers basic adult, child and infant CPR plus how to use an AED [Automated External Defibrillator]. Class starts at 7pm and is held at F-M Ambulance Service [2215 18th St S, Fargo]. $35 fee.

17

Nature Adventure

701.241.8160

www.fargoparks.com

Bring the family out for a fun evening outdoors at the Lindenwood Rotary Shelter [1701 5th St S, Fargo], 6pm–8:30pm. This is a FREE event with hands-on cooking, crafts, games & nature activities.

17–19

Fargo Marathon

www.fargomarathon.com

This year you can Run Fargo & Rock Fargo at the 2012 Fargo Marathon! Known by thousands for being one of the Fastest & Friendliest races on the calendar, It also rocks like none other. It’s a race for everyone...kids, adults, walkers and runners. Come out and experience it firsthand.

19

Anything Goes!

www.aleruscenter.com

The Region´s largest indoor Garage SaleSwap Meet-Flea Market with over 300 booths to browse at the Alerus Center [1200 42nd St S, Grand Forks] 8am–3pm. $1 admission, kiddos 12 and under free.

21

Hot Dog Walk

701. 499.6060

www.fargoparks.com

This fun and recreational event is designed for dog enthusiasts. Pets participate in various categories with chances to win fun prizes, 5pm–7pm at Yunker Farm Dog Park [1257 28th Ave N, Fargo]. Categories include, but are not limited to: best costume, best trick, dog/owner look alike. Dog owners will

be served hot dogs and pop following the contest. The public is welcome to attend.

24

Kindergarten

701.237.6255

www.bakernursery.com

Head to Baker Nursery [2733 s University Dr, Fargo] with the kiddos to learn how to get your garden on! The fun starts at 4pm.

june events

4 Car Seat 101 for Expectant

Parents

701.234.5570

www.sanfordhealth.org

Are your car seats installed correctly? Don't take the chance! This class is designed for expectant parents and focuses on infant car seats for newborns. Make an appointment be at the Sanford Auditorium [801 Broadway North, Fargo] between 6:30pm–8pm. Space is limited. Pre-registration is necessary.

4

Lil’ Fisherman Derby

701.499.6060

www.fargoparks.com

Bring your rod to Dike East [100 2nd St S, Fargo] and have fun trying to land a big one! The day will start with a fishing clinic, 5pm–6pm. Then, put your skills to the test in the fishing derby, 6pm–7:30pm, with an awards presentation to follow. This is a FREE event for kiddos 15 and younger, adult supervision is recommended for the derby.

5, 12 & 99

Community Block Party

701.499.6060

www.fargoparks.com

Meet your neighbors at this fun family event 5:30pm–8pm. Sing your favorite karaoke song, play on inflatable games, take home a craft project and get your face painted. Enjoy free food while supplies last. June 5th @ Trollwood Park [3664 Elm St N, Fargo], June 12th @ Village West Park [4415 9th Ave Circle S, Fargo] & June 19th @ Rheualt Farm [2902 25th St S, Fargo].

6–9

RibFest 2012

www.fargoribfest.com

Great food, live entertainment & fun for the whole family.

7

Community Play Day

701.499.6060

www.fargoparks.com

Take a Free Play Day at Rheualt Farm [2902 25th St S, Fargo], 9am–11am & 1pm–3pm! Play yard games, do a take home craft, climb on the playground and move to music outside in the sunshine! Daycares are welcome. Adult supervision is required.

7,

14,

21 & 28 Park It!

701.499.6060

www.fargoparks.com

Meet the Xcellent Art teacher at the park & create take home arts & crafts 1:00pm–4:00pm. This is a FREE event. June 7th @ Roosevelt Park [1220 9th St N, Fargo], June 14th @ Brunsdale Park [1702 27th Ave N, Fargo], June 21st @ McCormick Park [2101 9th Ave N, Fargo] & June 28th @ Madison Park [3010 11th Ave N, Fargo].

9

The Jack Attck on SMA

www.fsma.org/jackattack

Head to Lindenwood Park for Round 8 of The Jack Attack & help us develop a treatment & cure for Spinal Muscular Atrophy! Registration begins at 9am with the walk starting at 10am. $15 for adults, kids 13 & younger FREE. Remember, we walk RAIN or SHINE! 100% of proceeds raised go directly to help find a treatment or cure for SMA. Together we will "KNOCKOUT SMA!"

9 Share a Story

701.499.6060

www.fargoparks.com

Come to Rheualt Farm [2902 25th St S, Fargo], 10:30am–4pm & see Sesame Street's ELMO! Enjoy stories shared through music, dance and performances by community members. Free books, free food and free admission!

9 & 10 Grand Cities Art Fest

701.772.3710

www.novac.org

The Annual Grand Cities Art Fest is once again being held in the downtown areas of Grand Forks & East Grand Forks. Over 150 local, regional and national artists will be displaying their works on Saturday 10am–6pm & Sunday 10am–5pm. Food vendors will also be selling mouthwatering items such as hot fresh-cut fries, pulled pork sandwiches, corn dogs, kettle corn, Italian Ice & cold lemonade. Each day there will be shows on the performance stage in East Grand Forks and Town Square in Grand Forks.

11

Trout Fest

701.499.6060

www.fargoparks.com

Explore Woodhaven Pond [4406 44th Ave S, Fargo] and learn about trout and fly fishing! Registration starts at 5:30pm with the derby following, 6:15pm-7:45pm. Youth will learn about fly fishing, casting, entomology, conservation, equipment demos & much more. An awards presentation will follow the derby. This is a FREE event for ages 15 and under.

11 & 18

CPR/AED – Heartsaver

701.364.1704

www.fmambulance.com

This course covers basic adult, child and infant CPR plus how to use an AED [Automated External Defibrillator]. Class starts at 7pm and is held at F-M Ambulance Service [2215 18th St S, Fargo]. $35 fee.

12 & 26

RiverArts

218.299.5340

www.cityofmoorhead.com/parks

Celebrate summer at RiverArts in Memorial Park [210 8th St N, Moorhead] from 5:30pm–8:30pm! Bring the whole family for an outdoor concert, horse drawn carriage rides, shopping, farmers market & kid’s activities. FREE admission.

15

Midwest Kid Fest & Teddy Bear Parade

701.241.8160

www.fargoparks.com

Island Park [302 7th St S, Fargo] will be filled with music, laughter & bright colors

11am–7pm as children play & learn. Bring a teddy bear to the Dike West Parking Lot and begin the day with a march in the parade starting at 10:30am. All activities are free!

20

Wild West Jamboree

701.433.5360

www.wfparks.org

Enjoy a Rootin’ Tootin’ good time of activities including music with Silverado, free carriage rides, gunny sack races, barrel car rides, a petting zoo, roping demos, face painting & other western games at Rendezvous Park [1055 32nd Ave W, West Fargo] 5:30pm–7:30pm. Pony rides will be offered for $2. Hotdogs, chips and beverage will be available for $1. Bring your lawn chair or blanket.

20–24

Grand Forks County Fair

218.773.7114

www.grandforksfair.com

A large midway full of fun rides, there will also be 4H exhibits, dog and horse shows, baking contests, pie and ice cream socials, concerts, demolition derby & much more!

25

Pediatric First Aid

701.364.1704

www.fmambulance.com

This course covers basic first aid for children. Class starts at 7pm and is held at F-M Ambulance Service [2215 18th St S, Fargo]. $35 fee.

Homes Built for a Lifetime of

All event listings displayed within OTMOM are carefully selected to provide diverse options for families. It is always a good idea to call ahead to confirm the information provided. Although it is not possible to list every event happening in the FM area it is encouraged organizations submit events for consideration to info@onthemindsofmoms.com

Growing up in the small community of Jamestown, ND, and having always been drawn to sport, health and wellness, Brooke Erstad [30] has used those passions to build the foundation and philosophy of Apex Physical Therapy & Wellness Center Focused on bringing a personal feel to their clinic similar to small-town healthcare, Brooke and her business partner, Kameron, offer a different “brand” of physical therapy that incorporates not only traditional exercise based rehabilitation, but also a more customized, hands-on approach This allows them to get to know each patient and determine an individualized plan for every patient Brooke has a Doctorate in Physical Therapy and a Bachelor of Science degree in Exercise Science from the University of Mary in Bismarck, ND .

In addition to her experience in outpatient orthopedic physical therapy, pediatrics, neurological rehabilitation, cardiovascular and sport-specific physical therapy, Brooke has also developed a specialty in Pelvic Rehabliitation focusing on pre and post-natal care, osteoporosis, incontinence and chronic pain syndromes Brooke has also recieved her Certificate of Achievement in Pelvic Physical Therapy [CAPP] and is currently the only provider in North Dakota with this specialty certification

photos: rialee photography | andrea burner

how long have you been in business?

Three and one half years [November 2008]

how many employees do you have?

mompreneurbrookeerstad apexphysicaltherapy&wellnesscenter

We have six employees—two DPT’s, one Massage Therapist, one Office Manager and two part-time office aides.

what family focused services does your clinic treat or care for the most?

We offer physical therapy care for the entire family at Apex. We have male and female patients as young as a few months old, all the way up to their 90’s. We also offer massage and personal training for all ages. We have many families where we have treated several members because they like our clinic and were happy with their outcomes.

how do you think your patients would best describe you?

I would love it if they described me as smart, skilled, caring and fun.

what were the first 5 things you focused on before going into business?

1] Finding business classes and contacts to help with setting up our business. 2] Finding a location that would best help us carry out our plan.

3] Making sure that Kameron and I shared the same vision for our clinic and were ready for the amount of sacrifice we were about to tackle. 4] Securing a loan.

5] Making good contacts and marketing ourselves to the community.

what makes a good therapist?

Several things are very important, in my opinion. Being a good listener to hear everything a patient is relaying to you so that you build trust; listening is respectful and builds the trust. Being empathetic helps the patient feel comfortable and understood. Knowledge is very important to being a very effective therapist. Continuing to grow your

Red River Valley Foster/Adopt Coalition

Check

https://communityed.moorhead.k12.mn.us

A Community Education Program of the Moorhead Area Public Schools Bring your toddler and learn, grow and play together with other families. Dakota Pediatric Dentistry, www.dakotapediatricdentistry.com FARGO OFFICE 701-478-5439 4265 45th St S, Ste 202 GRAND FORKS OFFICE 701-746-1400 2812 17th Ave S, Ste F comprehensive dental care for infants, children & adolescents Dr. Mikala Hoge 1st visit recommended at year of 1age! COBBER KIDS Call to make an appointment to see our fabulous child care center! Accepting enrollments for our Toddler Program Cobber Kids serves children ages 16 mo-age 5 1306 3rd Street South Moorhead, MN 218-299-4204 mompreneur

knowledge is extremely important because physical therapy is a practice and you must keep growing your skills and expanding your knowledge to continue to help your patients. Finally, having the drive and determination to continue to make yourself better and to challenge yourself to learn new skills is a huge component to being successful.

what is necessary to make your day run smoothly?

Big smiles from my son Blake after a good night’s sleep. That’s always a good start along with communicating the day’s events with my husband before we all get out of the house in the morning. My office manager, Shauna, makes the workday fun and keeps things running smoothly at the office. Also, a little jolt of caffeine midmorning never hurts!

do you have any time management tricks that work well for you?

I am still learning this skill, but I have to say that motherhood has helped me be better at delegating tasks and trying to make the most out of every second that I am at work, so that I don’t have to take work home with me.

what is the best part of owning your own business?

I often answer this question by saying that, “I get to do it my way.” Of course, business decisions are made in collaboration with Kameron, but in MY practice with MY patients, I am allowed to be creative with my treatment plans. I love thinking outside the box to tackle a really complex patient situation. It is a way to keep my competitive drive alive in my work, instead of sports, like it used to be.

what is the most challenging part of owning your own business?

There is a lot of extra time and energy that goes into the business, so keeping balance in your life is difficult. Having a business partner helps me because we share duties. Trying to keep work-life and home-life separate is difficult as well. Thankfully, I have a very understanding husband, who helps me keep a balanced perspective.

as a new mom, how do you make time for yourself?

Blake’s naps to do some things for myself as well. Otherwise, my time at work really is enjoyable, so that helps me to not get overwhelmed with work and home responsibilities.

do you think becoming a mom has changed you professionally?

I think becoming a mom has really helped me grow as a therapist. I am a Women’s Health Physical Therapist, which means that I deal with many issues that affect moms of all ages, so of course, becoming a mom has helped! I can now fully appreciate the pains, stresses and joys that children bring, and that was something I could only imagine before.

what is your biggest claim to fame?

My brother-in-law is a Word Series Champion! away from the clinic, what might we find you doing?

Watching Bryan, my husband of five years, play baseball, hockey or fastpitch with my little boy Blake [10 months] in my lap…soon to be chasing him around the field/arena, I am sure! I’m also a big

fan of gymnastics despite suffering a broken neck while performing during my junior year of high school. I still love to coach, choreograph and judge gymnastics whenever I can. I enjoy being active working out, running and playing rec volleyball and of course enjoy time with friends and family, reading and learning all the wonderful things about being a new mommy!

what advice would you share with other women considering the mompreneur title? I would say that you will need the loving support of friends and family to succeed. Whether it is a pep talk, friendly chat or help with childcare, I am so fortunate to have wonderful people in my life helping me along the way.

photo: thuen studios | scott thuen

chicken pot pie cupcakes

Who can turn down cupcakes? In our book they are perfectly acceptable anytime of the day including dinner! Okay, we aren’t talking about those standard sweet, sugary, frosted morsels, but rather a little hand-held chicken pot pie…chicken pot pie cupcakes! This easy, speedy, yummy recipe is sure to be a big hit with the fam and will become a regular meal request.

prep time: 20 minutes total time: 35 minutes makes: 10 cupcake pies

gather the goods:

• 2–3 chicken breasts, poached and diced

• 1 [14.5 oz] can cream of chicken soup

• 1 cup frozen mixed veggies

• 1 cup shredded cheddar cheese

• 1 tablespoon Herbs De Provence*

• 1 teaspoon onion powder

• 1 teaspoon garlic salt

• 2 [10 oz] cans Pillsbury biscuits

* Herbs De Provence is a seasoning blend that can be used in meat, poultry or vegetable dishes. Look for the blend in the spice section of the grocery store, but if you can't find it, you can easily make your own:

• 2 teaspoons dried thyme

• 2 teaspoons dried savory

• 1 teaspoon dried marjoram

• 1 teaspoon dried lavender

• ½ teaspoon dried rosemary

• ½ teaspoon fennel seeds

• 1 crushed bay leaf

heat it:

Preheat oven to 400 degrees.

mix it:

In a large bowl, combine the cooked chicken, cream of chicken soup, frozen veggies, cheese, herbs and spices.

prep it:

1. Lightly grease a 12-cup muffin tin and place the Pillsbury biscuits into each cup, pressing into the bottom and up the sides.

2. Evenly spoon the pot pie mixture into each biscuit cup.

bake it:

1. Slide into the oven and bake for about 15 minutes. Check at the 12 minute mark.

2. Let rest for about 3 minutes and dig in!

source: tablespoon.com

high photography

joyful heart photography

tiny sprouts portraits

melissa dale photography

michelle warren photography

tiny sprouts portraits

melissa dale photography

michelle warren photography

Brad Johnson grew up in north Fargo with his two older sisters, Pam and Patty, and their single, hard working mom, Dorothy After graduating from Fargo North High School, Brad joined the ND Air Guard and attended Moorhead Tech where he studied electrical design drafting Since 1984 he has been working fulltime for the Air Guard in a number of positions including munitions maintenance, weapons safety manager, quality assurance and is currently the superintendent of the equipment maintenance flight Brad and Sandy, his wife of 28 years, are parents to Andrea [21] and are learning to adjust to life as empty nesters

photos: rialee photography | lindsey johnson

the toughest age to parent… you know everyone kept saying “yeah wait until she gets into the terrible twos” or “yeah wait until she turns 13,” but those sort of difficult ages never seemed to come about. Truthfully the toughest age to parent for me was when I realized that she’s not going to be sitting on my lap anymore and the 10 minute hugs are gone. I keep asking Santa Claus for one more, but he keeps telling me to let it go, I had my turn.

the ideal day for me would mean… attending a rodeo with my family. one of my favorite hobbies… anything that includes the word motorcycle.

rad dad

if i could be famous it would be for… outperforming Eddie Van Halen on guitar. Too bad I can’t play a note.

i raised my daughter to always… be respectful, be on-time and have a strong work ethic. my biggest pet peeve... making me wait.

i’m embarrassed to admit… I prefer romantic comedies over action thrillers. Diaz beats Schwarzenegger every time in my book. the one parent regret i have… that we never made that road trip to Mount Rushmore. There always seems to be another day or another summer and then all of a sudden she’s grown up and doesn’t want to spend four days in the car with Mom and Dad. I suppose in some ways there’s some regret not having more than one child, but only because there’s still a number of “Dad things” that I never had a chance to do.

i prefer romantic comedies over action thrillers . diaz beats schwarzenegger every time in my book .

in 10 years i can see myself… retired from the Air Guard [three years from now], but I plan to keep working. I’m looking forward to that next chapter.

if my wife could throw away one thing of mine it would be…

my “Frampton Comes Alive” album. the best advice for any parent[s] embarking on an empty nest… get back to the things you used to enjoy doing together before that “serious interruption.”

my daughter is most like me in the way she… loves music and old movies.

i’m most proud of…

the day my daughter graduated from basic military training. In a way it was graduation day for me as well, a graduation from being a Dad. Seeing her on the parade grounds dressed in her blues was just incredible. It reaffirmed what I already knew about her, that we did a good job raising someone who loves her family, her faith and her freedom. the tool or household device i couldn’t live without…

as much as I love hand tools I’d have to say the internet. It never ceases to amaze me.

three words my wife and daughter would use to best describe me… quiet, humorous, tidy.

my all-time favorite movie is…

it has to be Cannery Row with Nick Nolte. I loved the way Mac and the boys, who are all homeless, go over the top in their concern for Doc, the local marine biologist.

the vehicle that best describes me… a 1976 Chevy pick-up.

i can cook a mean…

sauerkraut roll. I can’t tell you if it has a real name. Bread dough, bacon, mozzarella and sauerkraut. I’ve made it every Halloween for over 20 years. It’s pretty much expected.

the most humbling compliment i’ve been given… that I was a good parent.

effectıve non-ınvasıve & permanent

story by | dr. rory trottier

Are you completely immune to baby fever? Are you sure you do not want to have any more children and long for an end to the hassle of your temporary method of birth control? Are you a bit squeamish to the thought of invasive permanent birth control procedures? Adiana Permanent Contraception may be the right procedure for you!

what is Adiana Permanent Contraception [apc]?

Adiana Permanent Contraception is a safe, simple, minimally invasive procedure that permanently prevents pregnancy. The procedure requires no incisions, is performed under local anesthesia and usually takes less than 12 minutes to complete.

how does it exactly work?

It stimulates your body’s own tissue to grow in and

around tiny, soft inserts that are placed inside your fallopian tubes. Once your tubes are completely blocked, your eggs can no longer become fertilized and you can rely on APC for birth control.

what is the difference between APC and a tubal? Unlike tubal ligation, or “having your tubes tied,” the Adiana procedure requires no incisions or cuts into the skin. It avoids the risks of general anesthesia. The recovery period is quicker and most women report little or no discomfort.

how effective is this contraceptive?

It is 98.4% effective in preventing pregnancy once your doctor confirms that your fallopian tubes are completely blocked. As we know there is no method 100% effective.

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can it be reversed?

The Adiana procedure should be considered permanent and not reversible.

what is the insert made of?

The tiny, soft inserts measure 3.5mm in length [about the size of a grain of rice] and are made of medicalgrade silicone, a material long known to be safe in the human body. They do not use drugs or hormones that can disrupt your menstrual cycle. Also, the inserts are inside the fallopian tubes leaving nothing in your uterus that might limit your options for future gynecologic tests or procedures.

does ovulation still occur?

Yes. The Adiana does not affect your ovaries and it does not use any hormones. You will continue to ovulate and have your periods until you reach menopause, but your eggs cannot be fertilized since your fallopian tubes will be blocked. Your unfertilized eggs will break down and be absorbed by your body.

how long does the procedure take?

The patient is in the office for an average of 60 minutes

with the actual procedure taking less than 12 minutes. There are no incisions or general anesthesia, but you will be pre-medicated and will need to have a driver.

how do you know for sure Adiana is working?

At the end of three months, you will have a hysterosalpingogram [HSG] confirmation test, which is a special x-ray test. During the test, the uterus is filled with a dye contrast fluid that shows up in x-rays. Several x-rays are taken of your uterus that will determine no fluid is passing through your fallopian tube and that the Adiana inserts are working properly.

what side effects can be expected?

Most women report little or no pain and return to normal activities the next day.

who are the best candidates for this type of contraception?

Adiana is right for a lot of women, but not all. APC should not be considered or any form of permanent contraception if you:

• Think there may be any chance you would want children in the future.

• Are in a time of stress, such as after a divorce or breakup, miscarriage, injury, loss of a job, or any traumatic experience.

• Are feeling pressured into the decision by anyone else.

Some women cannot use APC because of certain medical conditions. You can NOT have the Adiana procedure if you:

• Have already had a tubal ligation ["had your  tied"].

• Are taking immunosuppressive medicines [any drugs that prevent or block the activity of your body's natural defenses].

• Have an allergy to contrast fluid [the fluid used in the Adiana HSG Confirmation Test].

• Have something abnormal about your uterus that could prevent the procedure from being performed.

• Cannot have the procedure done in both fallopian tubes [even if one tube is thought to be blocked or you have only one tube].

• Have any personal doubts about ending your fertility.

You must delay having the Adiana procedure if you:

• Are pregnant or suspect you might be pregnant.

• Have been pregnant or given birth in the last three months.

• Now have clinical evidence of a pelvic infection or recently had a pelvic infection.

is it covered by insurance?

It’s always a good idea to have prior authorization done first. The clinic you’re considering for the procedure typically will contact your insurance provider and relay the information to you ahead of time. Based on your insurance, it may be just a simple co-pay.

can any OB physician perform the procedure?

Only specially-trained physicians can perform the Adiana procedure. In our area, Dr. Rory Trottier at Northern Valley OBGYN in Grand Forks, ND, has worked hard to bring this minimally invasive procedure to the clinic setting. Dr. Trottier and his staff have been performing the Adiana procedure for over two years and are currently the first and only clinic in the region to provide this contraception option. For more information contact Northern Valley OBGYN at 701.738.2004 or for a list of other qualified physicians outside the region see the Adiana website at: www.adiana.com

nu tek lngwig

photo: thuen studios | scott thuen

story by | kathleen wrigley

Text: OMG GFs! R OTMOM R gr8t! WTG moms! LMK what ur doin 4 Mthrs day. Hidin in closet? JK! Undr covrs? TMI! LOL! Movie w BFF? Clean hous? STBU. BTW-happy moms day 2u QT. VBH. XO. L8R.

Translation: “Oh my Gosh, Girlfriends! Our On the Minds of Moms are GREAT! Way to go, moms! Let me know what you’re doing for Mother’s Day. Hiding in a closet? Just kidding! Under the covers? Too much information! Laughing out loud! Movie with best friend forever? Cleaning your house? Stinks to be you! By the way, Happy Mother’s Day to you, Cutie pies. Very big hugs! Love & kisses. Later!

If trying to decipher this text message gave you a headache, you’re not alone. Learning a new language will drive anyone OTE—over the edge!

Yet, our kids are fluent in this new-aged, tech-savvy language. In fact, my kids—who don’t even own a cell phone, an iPad or an iTouch—occasionally throw in abbreviated, or text, versions of the English language into our conversations: “Hah! JK!” Or, more regularly: “TMI, Mom. T.M.I.” Translation: just kidding or too much information. It’s fascinating to see how easily children learn how to use technology. And it makes sense, too, since [practically] from the womb this generation is exposed to technology. You only have to watch one episode of Sesame Street to see Elmo holding a cell to his ear or texting all the other monsters about a party at Mr. Hooper’s store. And before you know it, little Suzie Q is holding the TV remote control to her ear & pressing all kinds of buttons!

I recently witnessed our daughter, Harper [3-years-old at the time], pick up Grama’s iPad. She knew exactly how and where to turn it on; began swiping her pointer finger across the screen until she found what she was looking for and squealed in delight before playing a round of “Angry Birds.” This is the very first time she even held an iPad. We don’t own one. And I don’t have ANY games on my phone, for which she’d gain access and experience to swipe, find, or play “Angry Birds.”

I thought Grama was going to fall off her chair, as we watched Harper handily take control of this gadget.

Maybe this doesn’t shock you. “Big whoop,” you say. But it’s a gripping example of how instinctual the use of certain technological devices has become for this generation.

From the beginning of time, there have been generational gaps—slang words, clothing and music styles, and body adornments. But through the advances of our techy world, the changes are so fundamental that some researchers argue that through computer games, email, the Internet, cell phones and instant messaging—this generation thinks and learns and processes information differently from their predecessors.

Marc Prensky is an internationally acclaimed expert on this topic and claims that “different kinds of experiences lead to different brain structures, and that it’s likely that this generations’ brains have physically changed—are different from ours—as a result of how they are growing up.” Prensky writes, “Through technology, this generation is used to receiving information really fast; they like to parallel process and multi-task; they thrive on instant gratification and frequent rewards.”

Meet me at the Lake!

Yet, many of our educators teach in traditional, pre-digital aged styles. Who can blame them? It worked for us. It’s been proven successful, right? And it’s not to say that we don’t dabble in and have become very familiar with the gadgets available on the market today, but how many of us are actually fluent in this new language? We learned the old-fashioned way--through text books and lectures and index cards and flash cards. This new horde of students has never known a life without the Internet, computers, digital games, email, social media, cell phones or digital music players.

I’m no expert on parenting or education—I just know that I value both. Nor, am I a connoisseur of technology. But I am a mom, and I am always interested in how change and advancements intertwine and how they can explode into purpose and potential for our children.

And in keeping up with the Joneses, or in this case the Jobses, I commend our teachers, administrators and leaders who are working hard to close the gap and build a foundation of education that includaes accepting, understanding and learning new ways of incorporating the use of technology in classrooms, while continuing to enforce interaction with humans, as well.

These techy kids may speak a different language than we do now, but there’s no digital hand-held thingamajig that can replace good old-fashioned social contact with real, live people—or their hands.

Text: FYI: @TEOTD, AFAICS TECK=HERE 2 STA & B4 U KNO IT KIDS R GRON & BYTE GOS ON. LOL. BW & HPY MTHRS DAY! C U L8R! ON FB, PRHPS?

Translation: For your information, at the end of the day, and as far as I can see, technology is here to stay and before you know it, your kids are grown and the “byte” goes on…Laugh out loud! Best wishes and Happy Mother’s Day! See you later...on FACEBOOK, perhaps?

Kathleen is a stay-at-home mom who serves on a number of community boards/committees, is active in her church, kids’ school, and politics and runs to sustain her own mental health! This Philadelphia native is married to a fourth generation North Dakotan, Drew, and proudly considers North Dakota her home. They have three children.

Before becoming a mom, she was director for Bismarck’s Child Advocacy Center and was a speech writer. Kathleen received a BS from The Pennsylvania State University and completed her graduate studies at Temple University, in Philadelphia.

They use cute nicknames, kid around and laugh, complete each other’s sentences. Meet three sisters:

• 24-year-old Tracey Klobuchar, married and working in Fargo

• 22-year-old Rachel Brunner, a North Dakota State University student

• 17-year-old Megan Brunner, a high school student in Mahnomen, MN.

This past year their family ties have gotten stronger than ever. The reason? Lynch syndrome -- a rare genetic condition that significantly increases risk for colorectal and other types of cancer.

back to their roots

The sisters are no strangers to cancer. Their dad, Alan, was diagnosed with colorectal cancer at age 47.

With courage, quirky humor and his usual independent spirit, he survived a tough course of treatment: surgery, chemotherapy, radiation therapy, more surgery. Today he’s cancer free and back at work in Mahnomen.

But that’s not where this story ends…

Two important facts got the attention of Alan’s medical team at Sanford Roger Maris Cancer Center in Fargo:

• His young age at diagnosis. The average for colorectal cancer is 65.

• The frequency of cancer at younger ages in Alan’s family.

a genetic link?

The vast majority of colorectal cancers—90 to 95 percent—are not genetic. Was Alan’s? Is it possible in your family?

Sanford medical geneticist Dr. Pamela McGrann offers expertise. “We’re guided by a very specific set of criteria, but in general, I become concerned when I see a family with one or two members who have a cancer occurring 10 to 20 years earlier than average. I’m also concerned when two or more family members have the same

cancer,” she says. “If you recognize something like this in your family, it’s enormously helpful if you can draw your family tree and show it to your primary care physician. This will help determine if a more in-depth evaluation is needed.”

Working closely with Dr. McGrann, Alan took two key steps:

1] Compiled a detailed family medical history of his side of the family.

2] Underwent genetic testing involving blood draws and tissue samples.

The results, combined with Dr. McGrann’s careful analysis, led to the Lynch syndrome diagnosis.

informed and empowered

Lynch syndrome in Alan meant Tracey, Rachel and Megan had a 50/50 chance of having it, too. The entire family, including their mom, Shelly, attended a meeting with the genetics team at Roger Maris. They wanted to learn more.

“It was so worth it,” says Tracey. “We got all the information needed and every question answered.”

All three sisters decided to pursue genetic testing. And all three had Lynch syndrome. Megan puts it in perspective: “That’s better than finding out later that you have advanced cancer.”

Today they’re well-equipped with extensive information and a detailed care plan. They know exactly how often they need certain screening tests in order to pick up tumors early, when they’re highly treatable. Empowered and confident, they plan to take every step possible—for long, healthy, fabulous lives.

“We definitely have all the support we need at Roger Maris. And we have another kind of support too,” says Rachel, nodding to her sisters. “We have each other!”

family matters

photo: sanford

photos: rialee photography | ria czichotzki

living faithnancy soyring

story by | patricia carlson

Twenty-eight days. A mere four weeks.

You can do anything for 28 days, right?

But this 28 days wasn’t what Nancy Soyring asked for…it wasn’t how it was supposed to go…or was it?

living faith

Nancy, who grew up on a farm outside of Mahnomen with her parents, three sisters and one brother, always knew she wanted to be a mother. She just didn’t plan on becoming one so soon.

The winter after high school graduation, Nancy and her high school sweetheart, Wayne, became parents. “He was the basketball player and I was the cheerleader,” she says with a chuckle.

Despite the levity with which Nancy can now refer to that time in their lives, it was not an easy path for her and Wayne. He had enlisted in the Air Force but a rule at the time excluded single men with children so the young couple decided to get married sooner than later.

“We were married by a justice of the peace at the courthouse so Wayne could continue his plans of joining the service,” she explains.

Nancy’s parents were not thrilled with the situation. “It’s hard to accept, but you do come to accept it,” says her mom, Doris Eiynck, who, along with Nancy’s dad Victor, still lives on the farm where they raised Nancy and her siblings.

With Wayne away at basic training, Nancy and her newborn daughter, Randi, lived with her parents. After

just eight weeks, Wayne was honorably discharged from the Air Force with a back injury so he, too, moved in with Nancy’s folks.

“I dreamed of having our own car and our own house, but here we had this baby and we were living with my mom and dad,” Nancy recalls. “We had nothing.”

Nothing except hope. Because no matter how rough things seemed, Nancy and Wayne never faltered in their belief in each other, or in being good parents.

“We did whatever we needed to do to survive,” says Wayne. “We stayed within our means. We didn’t go out to eat. We didn’t go out to party like other 19 and 20-year-olds. Instead, we were wondering how we were going to provide for our child.”

With the support and guidance of their parents, Nancy and Wayne made a decision; they would continue their education and get college degrees.

“They were so young and they didn’t have much,” remembers Doris. “They were going to school and we helped take care of Randi when they needed us to.”

Little by little, Nancy and Wayne got used to the demands of parenthood and were establishing themselves

financially. By the time their second daughter Katie was born—four years to the day that Randi came into the world—Nancy and Wayne had earned their college degrees, found full-time jobs and were living in their first home in Moorhead. Things were looking up.

Nancy and Wayne also developed successful careers. She is the Vice President of CSD/Minnesota Relay, a communications service for persons who are deaf, deaf/ blind, hard of hearing or speech disabled. Wayne has managed a Sherwin-Williams store for more than 20 years.

to learn strong faith is to endure great trials. I have learned my faith by standing firm amid severe testings ~ george mueller

Statistics definitely weren’t in favor of Nancy and Wayne’s marriage. After all, they married so young and in such a stressful circumstance. But they believed in their commitment to one another, and to their daughters. They relied on their faith to pull them through difficult times. And they embrace the wisdom that years of marriage brings to many couples.

“We made an agreement years and years and years ago to never raise our voices if we have a disagreement,” says Wayne. “We do not yell and scream. We do not use names. When both of us have calmed down we come back together and talk it out.”

This year, Nancy and Wayne will celebrate 29 years of marriage. “With today’s divorce rate, everyday we’re married is worth being proud of,” says Nancy.

Nancy loved balancing the demands of her work with the busyness of being a mom. Randi and Katie describe Nancy as patient, compassionate, and energetic. But what they both remember most about growing up with their mom is her selflessness.

“She is the kind of mother that is involved in her kids’ life,” says Katie. “Growing up she hardly ever missed any event that went on in my life, with all the traveling basketball and volleyball games, and all of my church functions. I can never remember a time that my mom wasn’t there.”

Randi, a mother of three, says her mom even made chores fun! “If she was cleaning so were we, which sounds not so fun, but my memories of it aren’t bad because we were doing what she was doing and somehow she made it seem fun,” Randi says.

As Randi and Katie grew, so did the family’s need for a bigger home. They traded up several times until, proudly,

the couple decided they could afford to build their dream home. “We needed to do a lot of the work ourselves in order for us to pay for this house,” says Nancy.

Nancy and Wayne finished their four-bedroom house while Randi was entering college and Katie in senior high. At the time, the house didn’t seem so big. Since Randi and Katie were involved in sports and church activities it seemed somebody was always bustling about. But as Randi was finishing her college years, Nancy couldn’t help but start to notice how big and empty the house would be when the girls would be gone in a few short years.

“I never knew anything more important than having children in my life,” says Nancy. “Why did I have to be done at 40? My husband and I worked hard to get where we’re at. We started with nothing. I would look at the empty rooms in our house and think, ‘What am I going to do? There has to be more.’”

Nancy did a lot of soul-searching and prayed. What did she want from her life? Who was she if she wasn’t a mother? Could she be fulfilled enough by her marriage and career? Would people think she was crazy if she wanted more kids? Would Wayne? Would her daughters? Would she care what anyone else thought? The answers, as they came to her through prayer, brought Nancy to a remarkable decision.

“I wasn’t ready for life without children, to be an emptynester,” Nancy realized. “I had no desire to have that life. Kids always bring hope to people. They are magical. I knew there had to be more to my life. I was used to working hard from growing up on a farm. I wanted to keep working hard as a mom.”

Nancy felt God had given her and Wayne so much in their lives and she wanted to give back...adoption was on Nancy’s heart.

faith is believing that God is going to take you places before you even get there ~ matthew barnett

Nancy created a plan to expand their family and managed to get Wayne on board with some gentle nudging—and the promise that she wanted to adopt a boy.

“I didn’t have empty nest syndrome the way Nancy did and at first I was like, ‘There goes my freedom,’” Wayne admits. “But in all honesty I knew it’s what she wanted

more than anything. And I’d never had a boy so a part of me was really excited about having a boy.”

Her parents took a lot more convincing. “I said she was crazy,” says her father, Victor. “Once you raise your family you’re free and clear in a way. You don’t have to worry about them as much.”

Nancy and Wayne both grew up on a reservation and were familiar with the Indian Child Welfare Act [ICWA] and the number of Native American children who were available for fostering with the intent to adopt. The ICWA is a federal law that seeks to keep Native American children with Native American families. With Wayne’s ancestry, the couple qualified and began working with Clay County Social Services and White Earth Indian Child Welfare. “We did the licensing, paperwork, classes—we did it all,” explains Nancy. “Our initial plan was to adopt a boy between three and ten years of age. No diapers. No bottles.”

Perhaps most important to Nancy was to find a child whose parental rights had already been terminated.

“I knew my heart couldn’t take a child coming into our home and then leaving,” she says.

They didn’t have long to wait before social services located a boy who met Nancy and Wayne’s criteria. There was just one catch—there were two of them. A brother and sister ages five and six. It was certainly more than they had bargained for, yet both Nancy and Wayne agreed they were up for the challenge.

“We met with them two or three times and played games, talked, anything to help us establish a relationship,” says Nancy. “We were a week away from telling them that we were going to adopt them when the call came.”

Ah, yes—the call. Even though the call came from Clay County Social Services, Nancy now believes it was really sent by a higher power. Her prayers had been answered in a most unlikely way.

Because this call wasn’t about a boy. It wasn’t about a child who’d outgrown diapers and bottles. It wasn’t about kids whose parents’ parental rights had been terminated. It wasn’t even about permanent adoption. No, this call was about four girls—yes, four—all sisters, ranging in age from 6 years to 2-months-old, who needed a place to stay for 28 days. They lived with their mother who was struggling with addiction.

Nancy balked, unsure she was willing to take on this enormous responsibility [dirty diapers! late night bottle feedings!] and become invested in the girls’ lives only to have them leave when their time was up. In an ironic and touching twist, it was Wayne who convinced Nancy to say yes. “I looked at her and said, ‘Honey, it’s 28 days. If we can keep those sisters together, it will all be worth it,’” remembers Wayne.

Her husband provided all the prompting Nancy needed. On a chilly February day in 2005, Nancy picked up four girls—Shylinn, 6 years-old; October ‘Toby’, 5-year-old; Michelle, 4-years-old; and Sandra, 2-months-old—and brought them home.

“Physically, it was a very easy transition. The girls were all ready to go and I was handed the baby,” says Nancy, adding that the emotional roller coaster ride was just beginning. “It did not seem to bother them as much as it bothered me.”

But one of the girls does admit she was scared when Nancy first picked them up, until they got home, that is.

“When I first saw our house I thought it was a mansion,” says one of the girls.

Nancy remembers the older sisters all running through the house laughing and thinking the living room was a giant play area!

Wayne says he was understandably overwhelmed when he came home for work and Katie, well, she was a teenager and admits the transition was a little slower for her.

“Meeting my new sisters was a little weird for me, I came home from school and there were four young, fun and beautiful girls at my house,” says Katie. “But it was never my intention to get to close to them, because when they first came into our house they were only supposed to be with us for 28 days. But after a week or so, it was hard not to love the girls.”

In just one day, Nancy had her home fuller than she could have imagined. But she couldn’t keep away the sinking sensation that it was just temporary. faith is taking the first step even when you don’t see the whole staircase ~ martin luther king, jr

For 28 days the Soyring’s and the girls made the best of their situation. The children continued going to school or daycare. Katie played with them in the evenings. Wayne bonded with the baby, Sandra. They ate dinners together. They went to church as a unit. All the while knowing it was supposed to be temporary.

“From the beginning, they wanted to call me mom,” says Nancy. “But I’d have to say, ‘Nancy.’ I’d try not

to respond to ‘mom’ because I wasn’t their mom and I didn’t want to create a false sense of attachment.”

Caring for the girls 24/7 and maintaining some sort of detachment was more difficult for Nancy and Wayne than either of them had ever imagined. It reiterated to them why they only wanted to bring children into their home whose parental rights had been terminated. When their time with the girls was over, they decided they would return to their original plan.

“The longer they were with us, just the thought of them leaving started to hurt me wholeheartedly,” says Wayne. “I couldn’t believe I was going to lose them and not know who they were growing up to be.”

But three days before they were to return to their mother, Nancy and Wayne got another phone call from social services. Could the girls stay a little while longer? Yes!

Twenty-eight days turned into six months and the Soyring’s could no longer claim they were a family of four. They had meshed into a family of eight. Nancy and Wayne really did start to feel like their mom and dad, and Randi and Katie were equally smitten with their sisters.

“It's hard to not fall head over heels in love instantly with the cutest sweetest little faces you have ever seen,” says Randi. “I don't really remember the ‘bonding’ process. I really just feel now like they have always been with us!” Just when things had seemed to settle into some sort of normalcy for the Soyring’s, the family got another phone call. One of the girls’ relatives wanted to adopt them.

Everyone was devastated, especially Wayne, who was no stranger to loss since his brother’s death from cancer in 1989. “I called my mom and said, ‘I know exactly how you feel.’ The thought of losing them hurt so bad,” he quietly admits. “Where are these girls going to go? Who’s going to take them? Who are they going to grow up to be?”

Nancy’s mother says it was heart-wrenching to watch the uncertainty surrounding the family. “The longer and longer it would go and the longer the girls were with them, Nancy would say, ‘Mom, I can’t give them up,’” recalls Doris. “Michelle—the second youngest—would say that she was never leaving. And the baby only knew Nancy as her mom.”

But Nancy never gave up hope that her prayers would be answered.

Nancy and Wayne went to White Earth Tribal Court not knowing what to expect, but the outcome left everyone in the Soyring family shocked, amazed and ecstatic. Nearly two years since that cold day when they blessed each other’s lives—it was ruled that Shylinn, Toby, Michelle and Sandra could finally—officially—be adopted by Nancy and Wayne.

Also around that time Nancy and Wayne learned that the sibling group they had initially been on the path to adopting had been welcomed into a new home by another family. Everything had worked out for everyone.

“With our social workers from Clay county and White Earth Indian Child Welfare, we had a celebration to tell the girls they were going to be adopted,” says Nancy. “Cake, bubbles, the whole family was there. We told them that they’d stay forever. And that they could call me mom now.”

you can have hope without faith, but you cannot have faith without hope ~ randy furco

It’s been five years since the emotional adoption ceremony. Wayne and Nancy’s family joined them for a spiritual affair filled with a drum ceremony, tribal elders and blessings with sage and eagle feathers. A White Earth judge and the priest from the Soyring’s church oversaw the procession. When the time came to step before the audience for the formal name change, tribal members wrapped Nancy, Wayne, and their six daughters into a handmade family quilt. They twined their arms around each other and huddled their heads together. The quilt is still proudly displayed in the Soyring home along with an engraved picture frame, containing four smiling faces that reads:

We did not give you the gift of life, but in our heart we knew the love we feel is deep and real as if it had been so. For us to have each other is like a dream come true. No, we did not give the gift of life, God gave us the gift of you.

Nancy says being a parent in her 40’s as compared to in her 20’s has created a calmness and patience that she didn’t possess before. “I’m not as uptight as I was before,” she claims. “I know things are going to be ok.”

Wayne says his perspective on his legacy has completely

changed since his younger daughters came into his life. “With my first two daughters growing up, I wanted to make a name for myself. Sun up to sun down, I’d be in my store,” he says. “I’d come home at six, eat dinner and then go back from eight until midnight. I missed seeing my girls grow up. I’ve vowed not to do that to their sisters.”

This journey has given Randi and Katie a new appreciation for their parents’ sacrifices and strengths. And they also get to see first-hand what it must’ve been like for their parents to raise them! “Katie and I are obviously both grown and have both been through the stages and phases that the girls are going through so my mom knows more of what to expect and different ways to deal with things and she uses Katie and I as examples or influences!” exclaims Randi.

And Nancy may not yet be done. For the past few years she and Wayne have provided respite care through White Earth Indian Child Welfare. The Soyring’s open their home to three children of a single mother who is trying to get on her feet and offer her a break from parenting duties. “It started out about one weekend

a month,” says Wayne. “Now it’s almost every other weekend. If there isn’t a Saint Nancy, there should be! I don’t know of another woman who could do all of this.”

a little faith will bring your soul to heaven, but a lot of faith will bring heaven to your soul ~ d. l. moody

Are you considering adoption? “If this is a calling that God puts in your heart, say “yes!” encourages Nancy. “He does not promise that what He calls us to do will be easy, however the rewards are endless.”

With hope and faith, Nancy says everyone can achieve what they want out of their own life. And that’s the biggest lesson she hopes to impart on her own children. Regardless of your circumstance—if you’re a teenage mother living with your parents, or siblings getting bounced around through the foster care system—all things are possible if you believe and have faith. That’s what Nancy wants most for her girls. “We all have a different appreciation for our lives now,” says Nancy. “We are stronger. They are stronger. God put us in their lives for a reason. But they have changed us, too.”

do ya hear what i’m sayin’

photo: thuen studios | scott thuen

story by | sheri kleinsasser stockmoe

Oh, the wonderful world of motherhood! You're the patient, doting, soft-spoken mama, dishing out hugs and kisses to your always well behaved, perfectly groomed, straight out of a Gap ad campaign kiddos. Motherhood is bliss…and then…YOU HAVE KIDS! WAKE UP! That might have been your vision of motherhood, but it isn’t all sunshine and cotton candy. This is the real world and there are plenty of times you need to scold, set the rules again and simply not be the most popular adult woman in the house. If only they would just listen to you, right? Every good mama has those times you want to scream, “Do you hear what I’m sayin’!”

wee ones

There are certain things that are understood in life. Rules, if you will. Cats and dogs are mortal enemies. Santa comes on Christmas Eve. What happens at Papa and Nana’s house stays at Papa and Nana’s house. But your wee one didn’t get a memo on one very big understood rule...you can be awake when the big fireball in the sky is visible, but you sleep when the tranquil, round rock takes its place!

sleep now…not then

When you have a newborn, sleep is a precious commodity. You totally know you are going to be sleep deprived when

you welcome your bundle of joy, but when little junior has his days and nights mixed up, it can be miserable. It isn’t surprising that your wee one enters the world with his sleep clock a little off. While in-utero, wee ones typically sleep while mama is busy moving around during the day and then wake up once things settle down for the night. So, how can you get your wee one’s sleep patterns in line with the rest of civilization? Some experts say there isn’t anything you can do…just ride it out. Ugh, right? While there is no magic technique, you can try these things to help coax your wee one into the awake/ sleep schedule you would like:

• lights on, lights off Our retinas have light sensing cells that communicate with the part of our brain that controls our biological clock. So, if you don’t want wee one sleeping all day make sure he is exposed to bright light [of course don’t put him in direct sunlight]. Open the blinds and let the sunshine pour in! And during the night, lights off.

• don’t mind me Be sure to carry on with your normal daytime activities. Talk, vacuum, let some noise fill your house. If wee one is sleeping when you don’t want, tiptoeing around isn’t going to help the situation.

• to swaddle or not During the day, don’t swaddle your wee one. Make sure he is dressed comfortably, but don’t make it too comfy to sleep. Then at night wrap up that little burrito for a good night’s sleep!

• time to eat During the day, consider waking your wee one to eat if he is sleeping too long. You will still need to do night feedings, but you might be able to buy more time between feedings if junior is waking and eating more during the day.

Yes, sleep is precious in those early months. It’s important to remember that your wee one will eventually get things figured out, but there are going to be good nights and long nights! Be sure to raise the white flag when you need to catch up on some z’s and ask for help.

[0–18 months]

When you became a mama, there was NO way you could have imagined…literally how many times you would say no! But considering the number of times you have to say NO to your daredevil, “I didn’t do it,” disappearing specialist, “wonder if this fits in my mouth,” exploring tot, it’s no wonder you feel like a Negative Nelly dishing out NO’s at the speed of light! Of course you are only trying to teach him what he can and can’t do and keep him safe, but geez! Enough’s, enough!

please refrain from such activity

Let’s face it, you get sick of saying it and for sure, your tot doesn’t want to hear it, but saying and hearing NO are a part of the tot years, right? Sure, but that doesn’t mean you can’t get creative in your daily danger diversion tactics. Here are some ways you can say NO, without saying NO: • the oscar goes to Once you became a mama, you instinctively become the master of “the look!” You know what I’m talking about. Eyes slightly narrowed, jaw clinched with an optional hand [or two] on the hips and without a word you convey the message, “Boy, are you gonna get it! I’m the mama and nothing gets by me!” So use it! Your body language can say more than some lengthy dissertation of the hygienic concerns of playing in the toilet.

• no, but not no Rather than dishing out a million “No’s” a day and your tot looking at you like the mom that cried wolf, think about rephrasing how you get him to stop what he’s doing. If he decides to munch on the potting soil in your plants or chew on a shoe, tell him, “Yuck! Dirty!” If he has something he shouldn’t have, tell him, “Not for Junior.” And again, remember the power of the look as well as your tone. Don’t use your hysterical, “don’t fall in the fire!” type of no-phrase every time you want him to stop something. Keep it in perspective to the action being committed.

• temptation be gone Take a close look at your home and make sure the things that can really get your tot

tots

in trouble and are just too tempting not to investigate are gone. The litter box is out of reach. Choke-able foods are on the higher pantry shelves. Cleaning products are behind tot proof doors. You get the picture…protect your tot from himself!

Being able to say “No” is important for our tot’s development. We are teaching our tots the importance of setting limits and that he can’t have everything how he wants it when he wants it. Sorry, but that’s the real world my dear tot! So, say no when it warrants and when you say it…mean it!

preschoolers [3–5 years]

In a land far, far away there lives a magical family with a brother and sister that always get along. “Thank you, brother,” “you’re welcome, sister” can be heard often and sharing and playing nicely are common acts in this household. How nice. Have you heard of such a family? Me too, but the funny things is…I’ve never actually met one!!!

meetKaran

in this corner…

Whether your preschooler is the one that dishes it out or is on the receiving end, teasing among siblings can be nerve racking for any mama. We can all accept this as somewhat normal behavior among siblings, but when does it go too far and what can you do to keep it in check and maintain your sanity?

• it’s gonna happen Yes, there is going to be some teasing among the kids, so expecting absolutely no teasing is unrealistic. What is important is creating a house rule: NO PUT-DOWNS! Self-worth is important and can easily be shattered. Make it clear that breaking this rule has consequences.

• work it out Don’t pick sides. As soon as your preschooler comes to you and says, “brother said this!” don’t jump in and punish brother without hearing the whole story. And when possible, make them work it out. Mama can’t fix every battle.

• I know you are, but Teach your preschooler that while he isn’t able to control someone teasing him, he is able to control how he reacts. A teaser doesn’t tease without the goal of evoking a specific reaction. Crying or going into a hysterical tizzy, will only fuel the teasing.

• one on one If teasing and bickering are really getting under your skin, try some one on one time with each of your kiddos to make sure nothing else is going on that could be influencing the need to not get along. Again, teasing can be very common among siblings, but if it is especially one sided, take some time away from the situation and talk with your kiddo.

one researcher found brothers and sisters between 3 and 7-years-old engaged in conflict 3.5 times an hour

Q:What sounds worse than a whining, tantrum throwing tot?

a: A back talking big kid!

Oh, nothing makes a calm mama’s blood boil faster than a big kid questioning her authority by talking back…nothing!

you bet I’ll make you!

Let’s face it, we all want things our way. And your big kid is no different. Being told “no,” “can’t,” “not happening” creates feelings of frustration that can be expressed in phrases of “NO!” “You never let me do anything!”

“You don’t love me.” “Who cares?” And the list goes on. Back talk is well, annoying and if it happens in public, embarrassing! A back talking big kid in public is a sure fire way to make a mama feel like she’s a horrible parent who can’t control her bratty kid. But again, this is real life and back talk doesn’t make your big kid a brat. He’s trying to push his limits; gain control of the situation. But you need to deal with it regardless:

• r.e.s.p.e.c.t. Respect is a huge lesson for every kiddo to learn. Respecting ourselves and others should be a rule in every home, which includes no back talking!

• breathe in While you probably want to fire back, “Because I said so! And don’t you talk back to me!” that won’t help the situation. Keep your composure. Don’t fly off the handle or negotiate with your big kid. You already set the limit. Stand by it. If you are in public, it is so easy to cave in…don’t! Let him know [calmly] that actinvg this way won’t work and if needed take him to a quiet part of the store and explain the consequence of further acting this way.

• talk it out Once the situation has diffused, talk to your big kid about what happened and what is appropriate and inappropriate behavior. Let him know talking back is disrespectful, his words hurt you and you will not stand for it. Lastly, make it clear there is a consequence for violating the “no back talk” rules.

• look in the mirror Consider how you react to your big kids request before back talking comes into the picture.

big kids [6–9 years]

Sometimes we mama’s can be quick to throw out a “no” or “not now” without really thinking it through. Then if you backtrack, you are really demeaning your authority. So, think before you speak. You can even use the phrase, “let me think about that for a minute.” Then answer and follow through if needed.

If your big kid is doing more than typical back talk [calls you names, swears, says hurtful things, is increasingly angry] consider talking to your trusted physician. Reactions entrenched in anger could be a sign of something more serious.

Of course you want your tweener to have friends. Think how important your friends are. You share your thoughts and feelings with each other. You look to them for guidance and value their opinion. You just plain have fun together. Why wouldn’t you want that for your tweener? But what if you…well…what if you just can’t stand the friends he has? What’s a mama to do if her skin crawls at the mention of tweener’s BFF?

got friends in low places

Peer relationships are very important for your tweener. They want to fit in and be liked. What do you do if the company your tweener is keeping doesn’t sit well with you? And it is really concerning if you fear this friendship could influence him in a negative way. What should you do if you are worried your tweener is falling into the wrong crowd:

• how you doin’ You can’t pick your tweener’s friends, but you can get to know them better. Allow your tweener to invite his friends over and do some observing.

• good and bad As nonjudgmental as possible and not directly talking about the friend you have concerns about, talk about the qualities that make a good friend. This can help your tweener take a closer look at the company he is keeping. walk softly Be careful when you talk about your tweener’s friends. Be too negative or critical of his friends and you run the risk of him rebelling and strengthening the friendship. Ask your tweener what he likes about his friends. Voice your concerns and point out [gently] the things you are worried about. pick and choose Make sure you pick your battles. Should every one of your tweener’s friends be polite when they enter your home? Absolutely, but this is pretty minor. Sure you can address it, but save the real freak outs for breaking house rules.

With all your might, stay involved in your tweener’s life. Get to know who they are hanging with, where they are going and when possible, get to know their friend’s parents. The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree, right?

the Kaiser Foundation states that nearly 50% of kiddos ages 12-18 feel pressured into having sex in relationships

a recent study, teens reported school and parents as their top two causes of stress

Remember how you longed for your tot to slow down. There was no holding him down. Go, go, go sunup to sundown. Endless energy and curiosity. Now, if only your teen had just a little of that. Careful for what you wish for!

let’s go

Today’s teens are readily labeled lazy and/or unmotivated. Well, it probably isn’t fair to assume teens are completely lazy or unmotivated in every aspect of life. I’m sure there are certain things that get your teen moving… they just might not be the things you find important. Think about your own life. It’s much easier to put effort into the things you want to do rather than the things you have to do, right? Unfortunately, the “have to do” things are a constant part of life and we need to teach our teens to get it done when you have to:

• I feel ya Be compassionate, relate with your teen. He isn’t big on chemistry, you hate laundry day. Validate his feelings and acknowledge you understand, but it still has to be done to the best of his ability. Just because he doesn’t like it don’t mean he gets a get out of jail free card!

• nag no more Sick of asking a million times if his homework is done or the chores completed? Then stop! Establish what is not allowed [TV, computer, hanging with friends, etc] until your teen’s responsibilities are met. Now the hard part, mama, is to leave it at that and follow-through on what he can’t do. Don’t nag! If he chooses not to do what is expected, so be it. Be accountable to yourself and hold the line you have established. When your teen knows the consequences, he only has himself to blame for the choice he made.

• who are you Take a real look at who your teen is. Who is he? What does he really enjoy? What are his goals? Taking off your mom glasses and really

looking at your teen and truly listening to his answers [regardless if you agree or not] can help you understand your teen better.

If your teen is not motivated about anything, it is important to not pass it off as just typical teenager behavior. Talk to your trusted physician to rule out learning disabilities, behavioral disorders, depression, addiction or other conditions that could be playing a role in your teen’s motivation levels.

Having one special person for your car, home and life insurance lets you get down to business with the rest of your life It’s

says sally says sally says sally says sally says sally says sally says sally says sally sally says sally says sally says sally says sally says sally says sally says sally says says sally says sally says sally says sally says sally says sally says sally says sally sally says sally says sally says sally says sally says sally says sally says sally says says sally says sally says sally says sally says sally says sally says sally says sally sally says sally says sally says sally says sally says sally says sally says sally says says sally says sally says sally says sally says sally says sally says

Who is Sally?

She is our quintessential, “do-it-all” mom and friend who reminds us to remember the woman behind the mom.

hold on tight

story by | deb uglem

Twelve years ago I pinned a bus shaped piece of paper on my oldest son. The paper bus held his name, classroom and bus number. I remember that morning so clearly. My daughter was in her Barbie nightgown and the boys were in their Power Ranger PJs. They hugged their older brother so tight I didn’t think they would ever let go. We all stood on the driveway—me in my work cloths, the kids in their jammies and my husband on the phone [his heart was there, but he had to listen to me retell the morning events]. We waved until the bus turned the corner. Immediately the kids starting counting the hours until their brother would return home.

My three youngest had the right idea…hold on as tight as you can. Only now I am starting to understand that feeling.

The idea that things go fast is just ridiculous, because I know now that is not true, because things are really moving at the speed of light! As I write this article, I am sure many of you are getting ready for a couple of big things that could also be described as big lasts—the last day of kindergarten, last day of middle school, the last day in diapers [that one makes me smile!], or the last summer before kindergarten starts. The bottom line is that things go away way too quickly. Now this realization isn’t meant to make you sad. Rather it’s meant to make you cherish the moments you have.

“Hold on tight” is a phrase mothers have been using for decades. We use it when we hand our kids a cup of milk, put them on a swing set or during a piggy-back ride. When the kids get older the phrase changes a tad to, “Don’t lose that”—the lunch money, the note

for the teacher and the list goes on. We spend a lot of time telling our kids what to do and how to act. I think sometimes we lose sight of what is happening because we are so concerned about doing things right and raising our kids we forget to enjoy them.

It is time for us mothers to “hold on tight” to what is happening now and “don’t lose that” moment. Start to cherish the little things. Stop overthinking your emotions. Stop asking yourself if you are embarrassing your children. It’s time to understand you’ve earned the right! If you want to take a picture at a sporting event, in front of the school or at daycare—do it! You want to give them a kiss good-bye, go for it! Find a way to connect with your kids in their everyday life. It can be done in many ways. Some of my best conversations have been through group texts with my family [I will take conversation any way I can get it!]. Get down on the floor and play. Watch a Disney television program with your daughter. Take time to ask what happened in school and then really listen.

Now I am not talking about becoming that “helicopter mom” everyone is talks about at coffee. You don’t have to

be there every minute of the day and you don’t have to do everything for your child, just start by being present. Enjoy your kid’s stories of the events of the day, their humor, their fashion sense. It takes practice, but it is an important part of slowing down and enjoying life. When you take time you learn a lot about the wonderful people you are raising.

I never thought this last 12 years would go as fast as it had. I know I sound like a cliché. As my oldest is going through a year of “lasts” I can’t help myself but hold my hugs a little longer, ask more questions and plan more family dinners. I am already starting to miss the kid that was scared of thunderstorms and the movie Jumanji. It’s funny the mixed emotions I have. I love and hate this passage of time.

Try to hold tight to the memories you are making. Take it from someone who is starting to realize, time is short. Soon there may not be a load of dirty laundry to do and I am questioning if that will be a good thing? I will keep you posted on that one!

i'm a pretty little thing, always coming with the spring; in the meadows green i'm found, peeping just above the ground, and my stalk is covered flat with a white and yellow hat.

little talia, when you pass lightly over the tender grass, skip about, but do not tread on my bright but lowly head, for i always seem to say, "surely winter's gone away."

—ann taylor

photo: rialee photography | ria czichotzki