Marny Dreyer’s knee pain progressively worsened as the years went by. When she didn’t think she could make it to the check-out lane during her weekly trip to the grocery store, she realized it was time to see an Orthopedic surgeon.
Marny had two full knee replacements at Essentia Health – and now she feels like a kid again!
Everyone deserves a life free of joint pain. Take the first step to feeling young again.
Real Estate offers rewarding earnings and flexibility!
On Going Education is committed to providing you with the most informative small and live classroom instruction designed to provide valuable insight to your pre-license course or to your continuing educational requirements. Is Real Estate right for you? Find out with On Going Education!
Upcoming 2013 Courses:
August 29-30
September 26-29
October 11-13
November 7-10
December 6-8
For more information and to register online, go to www.ongoingedclasses.com
On Going Education believes that an educated agent is a successful agent!
www.onthemindsofmoms.com
PUBLISHER DS Communication, LLC
EDITOR Dani Parkos Fluge
COPY EDITOR Charlotte Berg
ADVERTISING Mary Klabo p: 218.791.2848
e: mary@onthemindsofmoms.com
Sheri Kleinsasser Stockmoe p: 701.306.1624
e: sheri@onthemindsofmoms.com
PHOTOGRAPHY Ria Czichotzki – rialee photography
Sabrina Kliniske – rialee photography
Michelle Warren–Michelle Warren Photography
Jessica Jarmin–Timeless Images Photography
Scott Thuen – thuen studios
DESIGN AND LAYOUT Scott Thuen – thuen studios www.thuenstudios.com
AD DESIGN Casie Beldo
Scott Thuen
Tara Kessler
Lindsay Arneson Corwin
Stephanie Drietz
Amanda McKinnon
EDITORIAL CONTACT e: hello@onthemindsofmoms.com
INFORMATION mail: PO Box 190, Fargo, ND 58107
SUBSCRIPTION print & digital www.onthemindsofmoms.com/subscribe
COVER PHOTO BY Ria Czichotzki – rialee photography
OTMOM
On The Minds Of Moms Magazine is dedicated to providing parents of all ages a bi-monthly resource they can trust. A fresh approach to traditional parenting publications, we are modern and inspiring while offering a community of local support and real-life advice for today’s family.
On The Minds Of Moms contains views from across the parenting spectrum. These views do not necessarily reflect those of the publisher. All activities listed in these pages are at your own risk and require appropriate supervision.
OTMOM is a publication available at all Fargo-Moorhead Hornbacher's, Sunmart and Grand Forks–East Grand Forks Hugo's grocery store locations. Distribution also includes all partnering advertisers. Copyright 2013
ross almlie
moorhead | mn
doer. I act on my instincts and put ideas into action.
darcy simonson
fargo | nd
creative. I was born to create! My spirit soars when I am creating, be it art, meditations, words, relationships, environments, food, etc.
katie lukens pinke
wishek | nd
passionate. I have passion for family, food, farming, the prairie, education, empowering and engaging others to share their passions. I live for and thrive in sharing my passions. Laundry, cleaning and accounting never make my list of passions.
kathleen wrigley
bismarck | nd
grateful. My life has been full of chances. These chances are rich with promise and possibility.
kari klingsporn hitterdal
fargo | nd
dreamer. I love thinking about new things to do, see, create, and cook, even though I know most of them will never come to fruition. But my real inspiration in life comes from hearing about the dreams of others, whether realized or imagined.
deb uglem
moorhead | mn
passionate. I am pretty strong willed and my emotions tend to play into all aspects of my life. So when I make decisions I am driven by my excitement and enthusiasm about the subject and all my energy goes into it—for better or worse.
41 percent of college students say their mom still does their laundry.
Never boring, sometimes chaotic, always grateful…pretty much sums up the last five years for us. Two average gals, a little older with a few more wrinkles, and our stylist earns her money covering up our natural, unwanted highlights [gray hair for the young pups out there], but still nothing gives us greater joy than being moms and bringing readers a trusted parenting resource packed full of inspiration, education, and emotion.
Reflecting back on the blur of the last 60 months, we never could have imagined the impact On The Minds Of Moms Magazine [OTMOM] would make throughout our region and beyond. The acceptance from readers, loyal advertisers, unforgettable features and profiles, have made this anything like a “job”…it’s a gift. The gifts of friendships, life lessons and parenting perception has personally changed us in ways we could have never scripted.
Five years ago we didn’t know what we were getting ourselves into. Today, we are wiser. More open. A tish-bit more relaxed [just a tish], but selflessly dedicated and committed more than ever to provide this platform for those with a voice and willingness to share. Starting OTMOM was truly what we were meant to do and we think we have done a pretty good job so far. Yes, we will take a few minutes to reflect and marvel at the creature we’ve created before running back to the loads of laundry, dishing out dinners, back-to-school needs, and the looming deadline of the next issue. It’s been a great ride!
So what’s the goal for the next five years? Simple…to make the next issue better than the last. Thank YOU, for allowing us to fill your minds and our passion with every turn of the page.
happy and humbled,
co-founders & inspired moms
Paula Pederson knows kids! She is the Superintendent of Hillsboro Public Schools in Hillsboro, ND, and the youngest sister of 11 siblings [seven girls and four boys]. She grew up on a farm in Grafton, ND, and attended the University of North Dakota, where she earned a Bachelor’s degree in Education and a Master's degree in Educational Leadership. Paula’s position as Superintendent may label her as a stiff, play-by-the-rules person, but she is quick to point out that she’s pretty easy going. She believes that if you work hard there is also time to play hard. Paula enjoys reading, golfing, working out, sharing laughs with friends, and spending time with family, especially her husband, Brad, and their two sons, Jake [18] and Riley [14].
photos: rialee photography | sabrina kliniske
ways i stay connected to my boys... they are young men, so they don't talk too much. I ask a lot of questions and I check their phones and their Twitter accounts.
the store that knows me by name... Dale's Food Pride in Hillsboro. I'm always trying to find something to make for supper after work. every woman should have a… great support system. I have so many great family and friends in my life that I feel so privileged. something i do for myself often… go for a run with really loud music.
i wish i knew more about...
the Catholic religion, helping students make reading progress more quickly, and statistics. the best tv series i've watched… Breaking Bad or Homeland…my oldest got me hooked on these.
my biggest pet peeve… when people say, "to be honest with you…" Isn't it a sin to be dishonest?
if i could only eat three things for the rest of my life… sugared cereal, chicken wraps, and nachos. you would never catch me… working with animals.
people can't believe it when i tell them… that I thought you could bake a steak in the oven. It didn't go so well. best meal planning tip… would be to hire out. I hate planning supper at night. I have no creativity for that.
product i could be a spokesperson for…
Diet Mountain Dew. I'm not a coffee drinker so it kick-starts my day at work.
i feel beautiful when… my husband compliments me.
i am pretty good at… making sensible quick decisions and not second guessing my decision. In my job I have to make over 100 decisions a day…ten of the decisions people may disagree with, but that isn't bad odds, is it?
as a family we enjoy… spring baseball games in Arizona.
i'm a big believer in… when you make a mistake there is a teachable moment. The value of that mistake is learning from it and not repeating it again.
in my fridge i always keep extra… fruits and veggies. My husband calls it rabbit food. my parenting style is… firm and consistent. My kids hate it.
story by | ross almlie
Financial literacy can’t be taught. It can only be learned through daily application. BreadVault, offering a free website and mobile app [available on iTunes], believes that its technology can succeed in converting bad financial habits into good ones. By offering a time-tested three-channel approach to personal money flows, the West Fargo company is counting on modern technology to change our spendthrift culture one household at a time by passing down good financial habits to the next generation.
gotta SAVE Other systems use the word “spend.” BreadVault calls it the “save” channel for a reason. They want you to think “save” before you think to “spend.” In the “save” channel, users set savings goals for desired short-term purchases - maybe an iPhone or a video game. Then BreadVault becomes the tracking device and purchase portal for goal progress and achievement. Users learn the importance of setting goals, work toward achieving those goals, and experience the delayed gratification of meeting their goals.
gotta INVEST BreadVault hopes the word “invest” conjures up an image of your future, not your past experience with financial markets. Whether it's a college education, a car purchase, a down payment on a house or just an emergency reserves fund, BreadVault’s “invest” channel can assist you in setting, tracking and achieving investment goals to help you carry out those long-term plans.
gotta GIVE Responsible money management includes good stewardship. BreadVault provides an assortment of both local and national non-profit organizations to select for your charitable giving. By setting a donation goal for a selected charity and then achieving that goal, BreadVault facilitates the opportunity for you to learn about organizations, become passionate about their mission, and have a direct impact on your community and world.
Again, financial literacy can only be learned through daily application. BreadVault recommends using BreadVault for your children’s benefit, but adults have also begun to use the technology for their own personal financial
betterment. This fact is not lost on the company, it is pursuing plans to accommodate the adult-use demand.
In its next release, BreadVault plans to feature a new partnership in the invest channel that will provide novice investors more education and choices on how and where to invest their long-term savings. Also, the company is working on a solution to get friends and family involved in helping BreadVault users reach their goals faster through crowdfunding. Finally, don’t be surprised if you see a classroom version of BreadVault at your local middle school in the not-too-distant future.
To try out BreadVault on your own, sign up at www. breadvault.com. After you have signed up, be sure to download the BreadVault mobile app available for the iPad, iPod Touch and iPhone. For continued updates and news, search Breadvault on Facebook, Twitter and Pinterest and for more great tips and financial insight visit blog.breadvault.com
its technology can succeed in converting bad financial habits into good ones
It’s in my genes! Canning and freezing food was built into the summer routine by generations before me. But why, in today’s world of modern-day conveniences, would I take the time and effort to can fruits and vegetables when I am given a plethora of food options at my local grocery store year round?
I don’t can and freeze food in the late summer because I have extra time to [husband + three kids + work = little time]. I don’t think canning is healthier than what is on the grocery-store shelves. And honestly, I am not sure it saves me any money either. So why do it?
Canning and freezing for me capture a summer moment. I seal up a slice of summer’s fresh bounty and save it for a chilly fall evening or a dreaded winter afternoon. Thawing a frozen bag of peaches seems to thaw out summer. I also feel a sense of pride surveying the sealed quart and pint jars on my pantry shelf. While I don’t have to have a pantry full of food to survive the prairie winter like my ancestors, I do feel I have contributed to feeding my family in a small, loving way.
I fell into canning. It felt like a rite of passage on my way to becoming a true prairie woman. I was getting my hair done in a local Wishek, North Dakota, salon a few years ago and a lady in the chair next to me asked, “Do you can, Katie?” I hadn’t ever thought of canning on my own, but certainly had experienced women around me to teach me. I decided to give it a try.
I didn’t have a garden at the time, but learned I could order “from Verna” pickling cucumbers from the Hutterites who come “to town” on Tuesdays. I called “Verna” and she said “Oh, you’re Mrs. Pinke and you want a bushel of pickling cukes.” Verna had already heard I was going to try pickling. I researched. I read. I looked in cookbooks. I searched the Ball website [we’re talking over 100 years of expertise here]: www. freshpreserving.com
Everything I needed to learn about canning was online or a local woman could answer my questions. Like when I stood in the grocery store line and learned I needed alum for pickles…who knew?
You too can learn to can and freeze food for your family to enjoy. Here are six tips from my novice canning and freezing experience:
1. use the experts to guide you. You don’t have to be an expert. Join the novice club with me. NDSU Extension Service has all the tips and tricks to canning just about anything you can think of on its website: www.ext.nodak.edu/extnews/askext/ canning.htm
2. buy or borrow the basics to get started. Before you spend too much money on the extra supplies needed to can, start with the basics. Ask your mom, grandma, colleagues or neighbors if you can borrow their water bath canner or pressure canner/cooker. They might have jars and rings you can wash and use also. Purchase new lids [you might need rings too] for your wide mouth or regular jars. Purchasing a water bath canner set will cost you about $60 and it will last a lifetime. A pressure cooker canning set varies, but plan on spending around $100, which I haven’t done, but might splurge someday. You must pressure can vegetables and meats to meet food safety standards. A set of pint or quart jars will cost you between $11-$27. I also purchase freezer bags in quart and gallon size.
3. you don’t have to grow the food you can or freeze. If it comes from your garden, that is great! I can and freeze tomato sauce and salsa with tomatoes and peppers I grow. But I purchase from farmers’ markets and fruit trucks from the west coast also. I can cherries annually with my mother-in-law. Here are the details: http://thepinkepost.com/2011/08/ easy-steps-on-how-to-can-cherries/
4. freezing is easy. I freeze fruits, veggies and sauces. Our kids think the best fruits come from the cans and bags I stock away in the late summer. We enjoy them all winter long. I am a novice, but I started with freezing peaches and blogged about it: http://thepinkepost.com/2010/08/ time-saving-easy-anybody-can-freeze-fruit/
5. follow food safety procedures. I don’t want you getting sick! You don’t want to make others sick! Safety first: www.foodsafety.gov/blog/home_canning.html
6. have a canning party! Invite your friends and family. Or include your kids. Plan ahead and have your supplies and recipes ready. You can split the costs and the “fruits” of your labor while making it a fun event.
Soak in the late summer. Capture the bounty of produce around us and get canning and freezing!
If you think there is nothing going on in Fargo, think again! It is easy for people to get stuck in a routine of doing the same activities over and over, but you are missing out on numerous opportunities to be active, explore Fargo and learn new things. Year round the Fargo Park District offers free events for all ages. Here is a list of the top ten events you need to mark on your calendar.
1Winterfest Enjoy the outdoors even during the North Dakota winter months! If you join in the family winter-ific day, there are free Clydesdale sleigh rides, cross-country ski rental, and downhill
sledding. Come soar down the hill during one of the family sledding days. Adult and youth cross-country ski races are offered, as well as a youth ice-fishing derby.
2Celtic Festival Celebrate Celtic culture at a festival of tartans, Bodhrans, bag pipes, and fancy footwork. The festival celebrates the rich cultures of the seven Celtic Nations, featuring the intriguing history, arts, and traditions of Brittany [France], Cornwall [UK], Isle of Man, Galicia [Spain], Ireland, and Northern Ireland [UK], Scotland [UK], and Wales [UK]. Children and adults alike can learn about traditions of the Seven Celtic Nations through hands-on activities and table displays.
Butterfly Ball Dads, uncles, and grandpas are guaranteed quality bonding time with their little princesses. This semi-formal father/ daughter prom includes music, dancing, photo opportunities, and a mini grand march.
3
and explore a small piece of the North Pole. Some of the activities include: visit with Santa, decorate cookies with Mrs. Claus, meet Santa’s reindeer, make holiday crafts, see model train displays, and write a letter to Santa.
4
Midwest Kid Fest Island Park fills with music, laughter, and bright colors as children play and learn. Bring a teddy bear and march in the parade. The park is filled with educational booths, carnival games, entertainment stages, and strolling entertainment.
These ten events are just the tip of the iceberg. And don’t forget the Fargo Park District offers other activities at our facilities, like sledding, open gyms, swimming, golf, ice skating, and an indoor playground, just to name a few. Don’t miss out on an opportunity to have fun with your family and friends. A full calendar of events is available online at www.fargoparks.com.
5
Movie Nights in the Park Movie Nights in the Park are a great opportunity for friends and family to gather and watch a family film while enjoying the great outdoors. A large inflatable screen is set up in the middle of Island Park for everyone to gather around with their blankets and lawn chairs. What better than to enjoy free Pepsi products and popcorn while the movie plays?
Fargo Park District
701.499.6060
www.fargoparks.com
6
German Folk Festival Dance and socialize with traditional German sounds of GermanAmerican bands. Explore German displays, presentations and crafts. German-American foods are prepared for the crowd to enjoy.
7Island Park Craft Show Treat yourself to a two-day shopping experience in the outdoors. Indulge yourself in all Island Park has to offer you with many unique items, enjoy the excellent food, and listen to a wide variety of great music.
8
Fall Festival Buy a pumpkin from our pumpkin patch, navigate your way through the Straw Bale Maze, make a scarecrow hat, play carnival games, and decorate a pumpkin cookie. Special activities are offered such as pony rides, horse-drawn carriage rides, and barrel train rides.
9Halloween Carnival Courts Plus wants everyone to celebrate Halloween in an exciting way. The event is a mix of carnival games and inflatables from Games Galore.
10
Santa Village Explore a little piece of the North Pole at Santa Village. Santa Village is an opportunity for children and the young at heart to meet Santa
We offer language arts, indoor gym, outdoor play space, science, sensory activities, creative arts, physical fitness, French, Spanish and much more…
Come and see our fabulous child care center.
NAEYC accredited
7:00-5:30 (16 months –k)
Call Anita 299-4204 or e-mail brandenb@cord.edu
1306 3rd Street South, Moorhead, MN
12
Fargo Rock Concert
701.499.7788
www.fargoparks.com
Punk, Rock, Metal! Two bands! Three different nights! All ages welcome! Get your friends and come out to see the areas up and coming musicians Dike West [310 4th St S, Fargo] 7pm-9pm. These shows are FREE and all ages are welcome to attend.
12
Movie Night
701.499. 6060
www.fargoparks.com
Come to Island Park [302 7th St S, Fargo] at dusk for some fun in the park at the annual Summer Movie Nights! The fun starts when the sun goes down with a movie complete with free Pepsi and popcorn while supplies last.
13
Dog Show
www.wfparks.org
Enter your pooch in the fun and recreational dog show at North Elmwood Park from 5:30pm-7:30pm. Awards will be presented to the best groomed, best dressed, best
trick, most unusual breed, cutest puppy and best of show. Visit with area pet vendors and sign up for door prizes.
13
RiverArts
218.299.5340
www.cityofmoorhead.com/parks
Celebrate summer at RiverArts in Memorial Park [210 8th St N, Moorhead] from 5:30pm8:30pm! Bring the whole family for an outdoor concert, horse-drawn carriage rides, shopping, farmers' market & kid’s activities. FREE admission.
14
Lil’ Pioneers Camp
www.wfparks.org
Lil Campers ages 6-12 will get to see behind the scenes activity that bring Bonanzaville Pioneer Days events to life. Participants will be invited to Pioneer Days to show the public what they have learned. Each kiddo will receive a souvenir and an oldtime photo. Camp is held at Bonanzaville [1351 West Main Ave, West Fargo] from 1pm-4pm. Fee is $25.
14
Family Fun Concert
701.499.7788
www.fargoparks.com
Here’s your chance to bring the whole family out to the park & be entertained with lively music from local bands. There will be arts and crafts, face painting, a bouncy castle and great music. This FREE concert will be from 7pm-8:30pm @ Brunsdale Park [1702 27th Ave S, Fargo].
15
Park It!
701.499.7788
www.fargoparks.com
Meet the Xcellent Art teacher at the park & create take home arts & crafts 1pm–4pm @ Village West Park [4415 9th Ave Circle, Fargo]. This is a FREE event.
15
Big-Screen Matinee
701.433.5360
www.wfparks.org
Don’t forget your blanket or a chair when you head out to Veterans Memorial Arena [1201 7th Ave E, West Fargo] for the bigscreen movie matinee – The Lorax. Show
time 1pm–3pm. Bleachers will be available and Sno-Cones, Popcorn or Pop will be offered for $1 each.
15
Community Play Day
701.499.7788
www.fargoparks.com
Take a Free Play Day at Rheualt Farm [2902 25th St S, Fargo], 9am–11am & 1pm–3pm! Play yard games, do a take-home craft, climb on the playground and move to music outside in the sunshine! Daycares are welcome. Adult supervision is required.
15, 19, 22, 26 & 29
Farmers' Market & Beyond
701.433.5360
www.wfparks.org
Fresh produce, berries, herbs, meats, jellies, flowers, hand-crafted items & agricultural products will be available for purchase 4pm–7pm at the South Elmwood Park parking lot [500 13th Ave W, West Fargo].
16 & 17 Blues Festival
218.287.7775
www.fargobluesfest.com
The Fargo Blues Festival is a two-day,
12-band blues explosion that features world-class bands, great food, beverages and on-site camping. Held on the grass of Newman Outdoor Field
16-18
KidSwap Mega Consignment Sale
www.kipswapsales.com
Sell your gently used items and shop for bargains! Maternity, kid and baby clothing, toys, books, furniture, sports gear and so much more at Scheels Arena in Fargo. Consignor registration, public shopping hours & volunteer opportunities available online.
16-18
Pioneer Days
701.282.2822
www.bonanzaville.com
Pioneer Village at Bonanzaville [1351 W Main, West Fargo] comes to life with authentic parades, demonstrations, costumes and crafts.
17
BMX Jam
701.499. 7788
www.fargoparks.com
Bikers, show off your tricks at the BMX Jam at Dike West Skate Park [310 4th St S, Fargo]. All skill levels can participate in the exhibition. Helmets are required. Prizes will be given away.
17, 24 & 31
Town Square Farmers' Market
218.779.1382
www.tsfarmersmarket.com
Every Saturday, through September, the Town Square [3rd St & DeMers Ave in Downtown Grand Forks] will be filled with a variety of vendors selling everything from fresh produce & homebaked goods to handmade jewelry & clothing.
23 & 24
Potato Days
800.525.4901
www.potatodays.com
Lots of fun for the whole family in Barnesville. Parade, games, contests and don't forget… Mashed Potato Wrestling!
24 & 25
Island Park Show
701.241.8160
www.fargoparks.com
Bring your friends and indulge yourself! Spend a day at Island Park [302 7th St S, Fargo] shopping in the shade! Find unique items, enjoy excellent food and listen to great music from 10am-5pm.
25
Streets Alive
www.fmstreetsalive.org
Turn off your engines. Turn on your hearts! Join our annual event to spark human movement! Three miles of downtown Fargo and Moorhead streets shut down to motorized traffic so you can walk, run, bike, skate, dance, and eat or meet with healthy vendors.
don’t believe what your eyes are telling you. all they show is limitation…look with your understanding. find out what you already know and you will see the way to fly.
—richard bach
2, 5, 9, 12, 16, 19, 23, 26 & 30
Farmers' Market & Beyond
701.433.5360
www.wfparks.org
Fresh produce, berries, herbs, meats, jellies, flowers, hand-crafted items & agricultural products will be available for purchase 4pm-7pm at the South Elmwood Park parking lot [500 13th Ave W, West Fargo].
5
Chocolate Fantasy and Chili, too!
701.232.2547
www.ywcacassclay.org
Don’t miss the YWCA’s 30th annual Chocolate Fantasy and Chili, too! Held at the Holiday Inn [3803 13th Ave S, Fargo], 11am-7pm, this event offers participants the opportunity to sample hundreds of chocolate desserts and chili with all the fixings. An excellent assortment of silent auction items will also be available for bidding. All proceeds from this unique event benefit the YWCA Emergency Shelter.
5
CCRI 5k, Run, Walk, n Rolla-thon
218.331.2024
www.creativecare.org
Chipped 5k run, youth run, and walk/ wheelchair roll through Gooseberry Park to raise awareness for people with disabilities. CCRI is a non-profit serving people with disabilities in Clay County and this run will also serve as the kick-off for Greater Moorhead Days. Registration starts at 5:30pm with the fun starting at 6pm. Register online www.active.com/ running/moorhead-mn/ccri-5k-run-andwalk-n-roll-a-thon-2013
5, 12, 19 & 26
Safety Shoppe Car Seat Check
701.234.5570
www.sanfordhealth.org/ClassesAndEvents
Statistically four out of five car seats are installed incorrectly. Each month Safe Kids Fargo/Moorhead conducts Car Seat Check Ups at The Safety Shoppe [601 39th St N, Fargo] from 1:45pm-4:45pm. Trained technicians will be available to assist parents, grandparents, and caregivers with using their car seats correctly. The events
are free and open to the public. Space is limited and appointments are required. Please note that it will take a minimum of 30 minutes per car seat per car.
6-13
Greater Moorhead Days
218.299.5340
www.ci.moorhead.mn.us
A celebration of Moorhead featuring a variety of events including the annual Greater Moorhead Days parade, a medallion hunt, and many other events.
7
9th Annual Autumn JUNKFEST & Flea Market
www.junk-fest.blogspot.com
www.facebook.com/junkfest
Junk Enthusiasts head to the Foster County Fairgrounds in Carrington, ND and find raw salvage and uniquely repurposed furniture, accessories and garden art. 80+ vendors, live music by Alien Brain & the Jugular Vein and yummy food on site 9am-3pm.
8 Grandparents' Day @ the Zoo
701.277.9240
www.redriverzoo.org
Celebrate Grandparents' Day at the Zoo! Grandparents receive free admission!
12
Safe Kids Car Seat Check-Up
701.780.1856
www.safekidsgf.org
Did you know that 4 out 5 car seats are used incorrectly? Could your child's be one of them? Safe Kids Grand Forks, in partnership with Altru Health System and Rydell GM Auto Center, offers a monthly car seat check-up event on the second Thursday of each month. This event is free and no appointments are necessary. Come to Rydell's [2700 South Washington St, Grand Forks], 4pm-7pm, and certified car seat technicians will check on your seat and ensure your children are riding safely.
12
Corks & Canvas Art & Wine
Walk
701.364.9867
www.downtownfargo.com
Sample select wines as you stroll through downtown businesses while enjoying great art and witness artists working live.
14
Moos, Ewes & More!
701.231.9611
www.ag.ndsu.edu/ansc/events_listing
Head to the NDSU Equine Center [5140 19th Ave N Fargo], 10am-2pm for some FREE family oriented fun and take in a little slice of agriculture right here in Fargo. Meet the animals that call NDSU home, taste ice cream and BBQ Bootcamp samplers, see cows being milked, horsemanship demonstrations, sheep shearing demonstrations, and MUCH more!
19 & 20
701.241.5700
http://resistancetorelationship. eventbrite.com
We hear many stories of great success in using the Nurtured Heart Approach® [NHA]
with young children, but does it work with resistant and difficult tweens and teens?
Parent night speakers will share real-life examples of encounters with resistance in this age group and how you can use the NHA® to work through resistance to get the relationship you are wanting. Whether you have NHA® experience or not, you will leave with valuable and useful tools that you can begin using right away. While this workshop focus is tweens and teens, NHA® info is also valuable to parents of younger children. September 19th, take part in the FREE parent night, 6:30pm-8:30pm, at Discovery Middle School [1717 40th Ave S, Fargo]. September 20th offers a Full-day workshop for professionals and parents [registration fee applies, 8:30am-4pm at the Holiday Inn [3803 13th Ave S, Fargo]. Register for both events online.
www.wfparks.org
Over 120 vendor booths at the Veterans Memorial Arena [1201 7th Ave E, West Fargo], 7am-1pm! Exhibitors will be selling rummage and garage sale items, clearance items, household items, crafts, antiques, collectibles, home-based business products and much more. Free parking.
Concessions will be available throughout the show. Admission is $1/person, kids 17 & under free.
701.364.1704
www.fmambulance.com
Initial course, held at F-M Ambulance Service [2215 18th St S, Fargo], for teens and pre-teens on the responsibilities of caring for children. They will learn CPR and first aid for children, as well as diaper-changing techniques, also learn about when to call 911 and what will happen if they do need emergency assistance. The course is designed for young babysitters ages 11–15. Limited space. Register online.
Fall Festival
701.499.7788
www.fargoparks.com
Head to Rheault Farm [2902 25th St S, Fargo] for a ton of Fall fun! Arts & crafts, carnival games, face painting, inflatable bounce house and so much more. Free admission [ticket purchase required for
games and rides], doors open 10am-5pm on the 21st and 28th, noon-5pm on the 22nd and 29th.
26
The Black Bib Affair
701.235.5530
www.theblackbibaffair.com
This culinary gala features the finest chefs from this area. Meet local Executive Chefs and sample a portion of their signature dishes at the Ramada Plaza Suites [1635 42nd St S, Fargo], 5:30pm-9pm, all while helping the March of Dimes continue its mission of helping moms have full-term pregnancies and healthy babies.
28
German Cultural Festival
218.299.5452
www.hcscconline.org
Celebrate German heritage with gourmet food, fine wine, beers and great music.
1
Take Back the Night
701.293.7273
www.raccfm.com
Take a stand against violence and head to Island Park [302 7th St S, Fargo] for a community rally and march starting at 6pm. Don’t miss it!
3
Farmers' Market & Beyond
701.433.5360
www.wfparks.org
Fresh produce, berries, herbs, meats, jellies, flowers, hand-crafted items & agricultural products will be available for purchase 4pm-7pm at the South Elmwood Park parking lot [500 13th Ave W, West Fargo].
3, 10, 17, 24 & 31
Safety Shoppe Car Seat Check
701.234.5570
www.sanfordhealth.org/ClassesAndEvents
Statistically four out of five car seats are installed incorrectly. Each month Safe Kids Fargo/Moorhead conducts Car Seat Check Ups at The Safety Shoppe [601 39th St N, Fargo] from 1:45pm-4:45pm. Trained technicians will be available to assist parents, grandparents, and caregivers with
using their car seats correctly. The events are free and open to the public. Space is limited and appointments are required. Please note that it will take a minimum of 30 minutes per car seat per car.
3 & 26
CPR for Family & Friends
701.234.5570
www.sanfordhealth.org
Participants will learn the ABCs of CPR, how to manage airway obstruction and will receive an American Heart Association participation card. 6pm-8pm on the 3rd and 9am-11am on the 26th at Sanford Health [1711 University Dr, Fargo].
5 Up with Downs Buddy Walk
www.upwithdownsfargo.com
www.facebook.com/Buddywalkfargo
Join us in celebrating and promoting the understanding and acceptance of all people with Down syndrome! This fun walk at Scheels Arena [5225 31st Ave S, Fargo] starts at 10am [registration 9am].
10
701.780.1856
www.safekidsgf.org
Did you know that 4 out 5 car seats are used incorrectly? Could your child's be one of them? Safe Kids Grand Forks, in partnership with Altru Health System and Rydell GM Auto Center, offers a monthly car seat check-up event on the second Thursday of each month. This event is free and no appointments are necessary. Come to Rydell's [2700 South Washington St, Grand Forks], 4pm-7pm, and certified car seat technicians will check on your seat and ensure your children are riding safely.
12 Hoppin’ Hoedown
701.499.7788
www.fargoparks.com
Moms, step-moms, grandmas and aunts, bring your favorite cowboy to this hoedown party. Spend time together dancing to music, playing western games, making crafts and having snacks. Come out in
your favorite western style outfit or casual attire. There will be a photographer to take your western photos and print them out on site for you to take home. There will also be rootbeer floats and other refreshments available for snacking. Photographer will be on site to take special photos. Photo orders will be taken on site. Tickets on sale September 24th at RDJ Rec Center [1104 2nd Ave S, Fargo].
www.trainingnd.com
This Summit, held at the Bismarck Civic Center [315 S 5th St, Bismarck, ND] will feature two intense days of training, networking, business growth opportunities, personal development, professional focus and of course…. Fun! Whether a professional in the workplace, a business owner or simply a woman aspiring to improve herself, you will be able to choose a customized learning track that fits your needs with 20+ breakout sessions available to choose from. Keynote speaker, Julie Aigner Clark, the founder of Baby Einstein, will share her story and insights.
19
Art & Wine Walk
www.visitgrandforks.com
Join the North Valley Arts Council, the Greater Grand Forks Convention and Visitors Bureau, local businesses and regional artists for an afternoon of wine tasting and art in Downtown Grand Forks and East Grand Forks, 1pm-5pm.
25
RACC Harvest Moon Fling
701.293.7273
www.raccfm.com
Support the Rape And Abuse Crisis Center with a night of fun at the Courtyard by Marriot [1080 28th Ave S, Moorhead] from 7pm-11pm. Wine Tasting, silent auction, hors d'oeuvres and live entertainment will fill the night. Call or go online to purchase tickets.
26
Boo @ the Zoo
701.277.9240
www.redriverzoo.org
Get your scare on with all the animals at the Red River Zoo!
26
Moonlight Monster Mash
www.fargoparks.com
Vampires, ghosts and skeletons welcome
6:30pm-9pm at Fargo Youth Commission [2500 18th St S, Fargo]. All participants are encouraged to wear a costume and dance the night away. Explore the haunted attic, play ghoulish games, and trick-or-treat for some spooky snacks. Enjoy a live DJ all night long and a spooktacular entertainment show by magician Jeffery Salveson at 7:30pm. $3.00 admission [ages 2 & under are free] and parental supervision required.
31
BOO-nanzaville
701.282.2822
www.bonanzaville.org
Head to Bonazaville [1351 W Main Ave, West Fargo], 5pm-11pm for Haunted Tram Tours on site to learn more about the ghosts of Boo-nanzaville!
31
Community Halloween Carnival
www.fargoparks.com
Head to Courts Plus Community Fitness [3491 S University Dr, Fargo] for a free Halloween carnival. The event will be a mix of carnival games and inflatables from Games Galore. All youth will receive a free Halloween bag for attending while supplies last. For more information contact Wayne Herrick at 237-4805 or wherrick@courtsplus.org.
31 Black Cat Bash
701.746.2750
www.gfparks.org
Calling all little pumpkins to an evening of fun at Choice Health & Fitness [4401 S 11th St, Grand Forks] 5:30pm-7:30pm! Spooky stories, crafts and games will make this party the scream of the season! Be sure to come dressed in your costume! Admission is one non-perishable food item per person.
—john lennonFor Dr. Amy Anderson, being a Veterinarian was something she always wanted to do. Originally from Reading, PA, she grew up with a passion for horses and a love for all animals. After high school Amy attended Penn State University, where she completed her undergraduate degree in Animal Bioscience, followed by her Doctor of Veterinary Medicine [DVM] from Iowa State University College of Veterinary Medicine. After graduating from vet school Dr. Amy worked in a mixed animal, rural practice in Oakes, ND, for a year before moving to Fargo, ND, to practice small-animal medicine. Eight years ago Dr. Amy took a position with West Fargo Animal Hospital [WFAH], where she worked alongside Dr. Carrie Summerfield. The two worked well together and quickly decided clinic ownership was something they wanted to pursue together. Seeing the potential in the tiny practice, they approached the WFAH owners with a proposal to buy. Today Dr. Amy and Dr. Carrie have grown their clinic and work extremely hard to provide a fun work environment, quality care for animals, and customer service that is second to none. Dr. Amy and her team are naturally empathetic and compassionate, and are extremely thorough and detail oriented in their approach to medical and surgical cases. When Dr. Amy isn’t taking care of our furry friends or her Purebred French Bulldog, Wally, you can find her riding her horse, Geoffrey, or traveling to horse shows with her husband, Anthony, and their daughters, Piper [7] and Paisley [5].
what would you say your clinic motto is?
We may be small, but we practice big medicine! how do you and dr. carrie handle daily responsibilities?
Carrie and I really complement each other well. Carrie is very analytical and likes dealing with the management details of business ownership such as coordinating benefits, payroll, balancing the “checkbook,” etc. I handle the taxes, work on protocols, client information handouts, and customer service details. As far as medicine goes, I LOVE surgery and am always up for a challenge in the OR. Carrie prefers the internal medicine cases and likes the intricacy of detail required to solve those mysteries. We both do everything, and we both enjoy everything.
how do you keep your partnership strong and grounded?
At work we share an office [honestly, because our clinic isn’t big enough for us each to have our own!] and we discuss the pros and cons of each decision prior to making it final. Even if it is something in “my” area of management, I make sure Carrie is fully on board before anything is implemented. That goes vice/versa for Carrie. We trust each other—that is probably the MOST important thing—kind of like a marriage! We have already decided that when we do build a new clinic we will STILL share an office!
in one word describe your clinic/hospital?
CLOSE-KNIT. It describes our clinic in so many ways…our building is physically small, so we are working in close quarters all day, every day. We are like a family in that we do things together outside of
work, ask for and share advice on our patients and families, and tease each other just like families do. We think of our clients like family, too. We strive to be easily accessible, compassionate, and caring. We have been known to sit down and cry with our clients when there is nothing else that can be done, we celebrate with them on a great outcome, and worry with them when we are waiting for results.
mompreneur
do you think there are any misconceptions in the veterinary industry?
I have two. One is pet food—veterinarians do not get paid to promote pet food. We make suggestions based on sound scientific data and knowledge of the biology of the digestive process for each species. We also make suggestions based on what we know works for our patients with particular diseases. Another big misconception is that veterinarians overcharge for their services. It is very expensive to run a clinic—in fact, most of the medicine and equipment we use is exactly the same as what is used in human hospitals and clinics and the cost for such is the same also. In order to practice the highest level of veterinary medicine we need to have the best equipment and medicines for that purpose. We try our best to keep prices at a fair level while providing the best medical and diagnostic services possible. We go through the same schooling as human physicians, but make much less than they do in the end. Our profession is more a labor of love than anything else!
what is the number one mistake pet owners make?
Waiting too long to contact a veterinarian when a pet is ill. There is so much more that can be done for a pet in the early stages of illness. Along the same lines, delaying diagnostics to wait and see if their pet will just get better on its own. We recommend diagnostics based on how ill a pet appears in the exam room, what we find on a physical exam, and the history the owner gives us – if we think there is a chance that something serious could be going on, we prefer to know that right away.
where would you like to see WFAH be in five years?
We would like to be in a new, larger facility that can better accommodate our growing clientele. This building would be equipped with state-of-the-art tools for surgery and diagnostics, in addition to providing a comfortable and inviting environment for pets and their owners.
what one quality do you think is necessary to be a mompreneur?
Perspective! I’m not going to lie, I feel guilty when I’m not at work and I feel guilty when I’m not at home with my family. However, I have learned to
throw myself into work when I’m there, and family when I’m at home.
how would your clients describe you?
Friendly, compassionate, thorough, deeply informative, and willing to go the extra mile for their pets. Some of them might think I’m a little goofy too. I like to have fun at work!
who is your biggest supporter?
My husband! He has always been my biggest supporter and kept me going through vet school and beyond. He is also not afraid to tell me when I am overreacting – I have called him my “voice of reason” throughout our 14 years of marriage.
do you feel like you’ve had to make any parenting sacrifices for being your own boss?
Sure. But, in the end, I don’t regret anything. I may not be able to take my girls to the pool every day in the summer or spend time cooking them fabulous healthy meals each day, but we do a lot of great things together as a family.
what kind of example do you hope you are setting for your girls?
I hope to show them that they can do it all, too! Whatever they set their minds to can be done. I want them to see that hard work, focus, determination, and sound choices will set them up for whatever future they want!
West Fargo Animal Hospital
730 13th Avenue East, West Fargo, ND 701.282.2898
www.westfargoanimalhospital.vetsuite.com
Follow us on Facebook
Hours:
Monday and Thursday 7:30am – 7pm
Tuesday, Wednesday, and Friday 7:30am – 5pm
*open the 2nd and 4th Saturdays of each month 8am – 12pm
timeless images photography
michelle warren photography
michelle warren photography
tiny sprout photography
tiny sprout photography
rialee photography
rialee photography
Emotions run high at Sanford’s Family Birth Center in Fargo. Many families are celebrating the birth of a new baby, but not everyone shares in that joy—some families are dealing with a significant loss.
Standing alongside them, regardless of the outcome, is the nursing staff. Janet Drechsel, Director of Women’s Services at Sanford, said the Family Birth Center can be one of the happiest places to be. But it can also be one of the saddest.
“Our nurses really shine during these difficult times. When a nurse walks alongside a mom and dad after such a loss and comforts them through one of the most painful moments—it is amazing to witness," Janet shares. “I am so proud of them and how they put their heart into everything they do.”
In May of 2011, Adam and Anna Marohl discovered the value of a supportive nursing team after losing their son, Max. At just 18 weeks pregnant, Anna started cramping and bleeding. The couple quickly drove to Sanford to be examined.
Upon arrival, the pain and bleeding had intensified. Anna suspected the worst—she was losing her baby. After examination, her fears were confirmed.
“My cervix had deteriorated and nothing could be done to stop labor,” Anna said. “I was told Max wouldn’t survive once born. We were devastated.”
In the evening of May 21, Max was born and immediately died. Anna and Adam had plenty of support from family and friends, but there will always be a special place in their hearts for the nurses.
“I remember that day like it was yesterday,” Anna shares. “I remember the nurses who shared that experience with us. The tears they cried, the stories they shared, and the comfort they provided.”
The nurses presented the couple with a memory box. Inside were molds of Max’s hands and feet, an angel pin, hat, blanket, and bracelet.
Every family who loses a child at the Family Birth Center receives a hand-made box to remember their child. The nurses volunteer their time to put the boxes together.
“I can’t thank the nurses enough for taking time away from their families to create these memory boxes,” Anna shares. “They help provide some sort of peace for families who have lost a child.”
The Marohls have created a way to keep this tradition for other grieving parents, and also memorialize Max. Miles for Max is a 5k walk/run that raises money for the Sanford Family Birth Center Bereavement Fund, which provides supplies for the memory boxes.
A little over a year later, the Marohls were excited to find out they were again pregnant. But again, this wouldn’t be an easy journey. On February 1, the Marohls returned to the Family Birth Center after Anna’s water broke at just 30 weeks pregnant. Anna was placed on inpatient bed rest.
“I remember thinking, ‘Why is this happening again?’” Anna said. “I just wanted a normal pregnancy.”
Again the nurses stood beside Adam and Anna.
“They knew I was scared,” Anna said. “They shared their experiences, their life stories and made me comfortable. I knew I was in the best place possible.”
On February 9, Laikyn was born. She spent 45 days in Sanford’s Neonatal Intensive Care Unit [NICU]. Once again, Adam and Anna were in awe of the exceptional care the nursing team provided.
“I saw nurses perform miracles every day,” Anna said. “Their confidence, their skill, their ability—that’s what got us through each day.”
Laikyn is now a healthy 5-month-old and growing like a weed. While two very different outcomes, the Marohls know the team at Sanford gave them the right kind of care and compassion, when it was needed most.
“Adam and I are eternally grateful to the nurses,” Anna shares. “They provided exceptional care at both the most difficult and most joyous times of our lives.”
To learn more about Sanford’s Family Birth Center, call (701) 234-5662 or visit sanfordhealth.org; keyword: Family Birth Center.
Growing up in Argusville, ND, with his parents, brother, Jason, and sister, Julie, Chris Holstad developed a love of country living and the small town school atmosphere [his graduating class included 12 members]. He lived to ride his snowmobile to school in the winter, and his four-wheeler everywhere else when the weather was nice. A graduate of North Dakota State University, a Bison Team Maker and proud Bison football season-ticket holder, Chris, his wife, Amy, and daughter, Lauren [6], beam with Bison pride! After a stressful day as a Stock Broker for RBC Wealth Management, Chris enjoys unwinding while preparing his family’s dinner most nights—a passion he says he is working to perfect.
photos: rialee photography | sabrina kliniske
you would never catch me… eating seafood.
i’m not embarrassed to admit… I like to buy shoes. I am pretty picky about my shoes; they have to be trending, but also comfortable. the habit i would like to break… staying up late.
the one gadget i can’t live without… iPhone.
i’m not a big fan of… slow drivers. I have no patience for people who don’t know the rules of the road… especially at 4-way stops.
age 34, west fargo.nd
last song i sang out loud…
“Redemption Song,” by Bob Marley.
something i’m proud of myself for doing… building a successful business while keeping my family as my biggest priority.
my profession gives me…
flexibility to spend time with my family and go to all of Lauren’s events, as well as the ability to meet and work with people across the country.
the daddy-do i have mastered…
heart-shaped PB&J. Every morning I make Lauren one for her school lunch. She loves it!
my daughter has my… sense of humor and need for very little sleep.
i could spend hours… on our pontoon at Lake Melissa sandbar: playing with Lauren in the water, spending time with family and friends, going from pontoon to pontoon, and just enjoying summer. i’m a sucker for…
Pelican Zorbaz pizza. Pepperoni with extra, extra, extra sauce. It is important to tell them three extras, and they get it perfect every time! when i became a dad i never expected… the instant love I had for my daughter.
the parenting rule i always seem to break… getting Lauren wild right before bedtime.
if my wife could throw away anything of mine it would be… NFL Network. I am a huge Cleveland Browns fan…and they never win! three things on my bucket list… walking Lauren down the aisle, going to a home Cleveland Browns game, and opening a bar/restaurant. a talent i wish i had… carpentry. I wish I were more “handy” in the house.
body + being creating positive change
"Can you make me better looking?" he joked.
"No, but I can help you believe that you are," I answered.
"Can you make me lose this weight?" she asked, with hope.
"No, but I can help you change habits, behaviors, and thoughts around food and body image, so that you shed weight," I replied.
"Can you make my child fall asleep more easily?" many a parent has pleaded.
"I can't make anything happen, but I can help your child relax, release stress, and drift into a peaceful sleep, and I’ll add positive suggestions that will boost his confidence, self-esteem, focus, joy, and more while I'm at it," I answered.
The previous conversations are typical of many I engaged in after opening my hypnosis business. Underlying each concern are layers of memories and beliefs lodged within the subconscious mind that result in actions, attitudes, and stresses which inhibit people from living the joyful, fulfilled lives that they desire and deserve. Hypnosis, accepted by both the American and British Medical Associations, is a safe and wonderfully relaxing way to create positive change in one's body, behaviors, and life. Hypnosis is simply highly focused concentration while in a state of deep relaxation, and one in which the client is always in control. In a deeply relaxed state the gateway to the subconscious mind opens, allowing people to accept positive new ideas and suggestions, and to access a myriad of belief-creating memories accumulated over a lifetime. Our lives are a direct reflection of what we have accepted consciously and unconsciously, and logged within our powerful subconscious minds as truths. Some of the beliefs we've accepted, often through the perspectives of very young children, serve us, while many of them don't. Believe it and be it, like it or not. If you don't like it, hypnosis
may help you access, understand, and release limiting beliefs and find more power, peace, and happiness.
can hypnosis make a client better looking?
In a very important way, it can. Although I always tell my clients hypnosis cannot make them do or be anything, the beauty of hypnosis is that it certainly can help them change what they believe to be true about themselves. When one believes that he is worthy and attractive, and confidently acts from that belief, his vibrant self-concept acts as a magnet, drawing positive feedback from others. Simply stated, he is attractive
certainly
help them change what they believe
about themselves
because he is. Because he believes he is, he naturally acts from that belief with vibrancy and confidence, which is, indeed, extremely attractive. can hypnosis help people lose weight?
The first thing about this statement I'd like to point out is that people don't really want to lose weight, because the natural response to losing something is finding it again! Shedding weight, or freeing oneself from the burden of weight, creates a completely different platform for successful weight loss. If you would like to shed weight, begin by setting the intention of becoming
free from that which weighs you down; affirm that it is possible for you to shed the weight and achieve your desired body; address subconscious beliefs and their resulting behaviors through hypnosis, and watch the weight dissolve as you become an active participant in your health and healing. Hypnosis has been proven in countless medical studies to be a very effective method for shedding pounds and maintaining a healthier weight. Through hypnosis, you can get to the root of the weight issue, unveiling and freeing yourself from memories and falsely perceived truths which have resulted in the limiting beliefs and behaviors that keep you from becoming slim and happy with yourself.
An example of a limiting belief that kept me from achieving my ideal weight originated when a relative told me that I was shaped just like my grandmother. I loved my grandmother very much. She was powerful and liberated in a way many women in central North Dakota back in the late 60s were not. That said, I did not want to be shaped like her, with a large round belly and thin, weak extremities. It was not the svelte, hour-glass shape of my mother, and I wanted to look
hypnosis has been proven in countless medical studies to be a very effective method for shedding pounds and maintaining a healthier weight
like Mom. I carried the belief that I had grandma's undesirable apple shape until my late thirties, when I recognized, through hypnosis and meditation, where the hatred of my body originated. The limiting belief that I carried within my subconscious mind, created from my perspective as a 6-year-old child, could now be viewed from my adult perspective, and I was then able to forgive the memory and release the limiting false belief. I lost the 10 pounds around the middle that I had believed I was destined to carry, and it has not come back since.
Finally, you must be willing to become thin, healthy, and happy. That may seem like an odd condition, but many people receive what is called "secondary benefits" from NOT achieving what it is they say that they desire.
is hypnosis effective and safe for children? My heart aches when I see a child burdened by stress, feelings of inadequacy, shame, hopelessness, and worthlessness. These emotions often result from unintentionally damaging statements readily accepted
by children as truth because they are made by adults in authority, or by others the children respect or admire [as in my body image example, above]. Perhaps you can recall such influential and damaging statements from your own childhood. Now ponder this: is it really true, or do you just think it is?
Damaging also are the unachievable expectations created by the media, unrealistic one-size-fits-all boxes many organizations place children into, and of course, deliberate abuse. Children benefit greatly from hypnosis simply through the stress release and reduction hypnosis and meditation induce. Couple this with understanding, restructuring, release, and beneficial suggestions and it is no wonder why hypnosis works wonders for people of all ages.
Hypnosis truly offers a multitude of benefits. Are you ready to believe it and be it? For more information as well as access to hypnosis sessions for adults and children, please visit my website, www.insightswithdarcy.com.
—Health Pros Personal Training . Mompreneur Apr/May 2010
She is grateful for all that she has and all the opportunities that have come her way. While many of us complain that things should be better, she is calm and happy that life is not worse. If all of us would count our blessings rather than desires, we would be much happier.
—Kathy Neugebauer of Laetitia Mizero . Feature Jun/Jul 2010 story by | otmomYes, I used to wonder, is this all there is? Isn't there more to life? And now I see that this is it, there isn't any more, we already have far more than we deserve and yet we take it for granted.
—Julie Kottsick . Feature Winter 2008I believe that had this by chance meeting with the Chaplin not happened and she not given me the permission to allow myself to experience these emotions as part of my grieving, I would have spent my entire life feeling conflicted in my faith.
—Heidi Funk . Feature Spring 2010You need to have something for you. As a woman, you can become what everyone else needs you to be but not who you need to be.
—Jenna
Pepsin. Feature Dec/Jan 2011-12
. Feature Apr/May 2012Knowledge is everything, but nothing if you don’t apply it.
There are many days I have to figure out how to ‘think and act like a girl’ just to survive in my house.
—John Bock . Rad Dad Oct/Nov 2010
I wasn’t ready for life without a child or to be an empty nester. I wanted to keep working hard as a mom.
—Nancy Soyring
R-E-S-P-E-C-T, every member of the household deserves it, whether its respect for their privacy, property or opinions.
—Joshua Mjoness . Rad Dad Jun/Jul 2012
Learning to me is very important. I always tell my kids you can lose all your “stuff,” but what you learn in life and school, no one can ever take away what you’ve learned.
—Patricia Patron . Feature Aug/Sept 2011
My girlfriends give me my womanly confidence, bring my silly back and make me feel young!
—Tammy Jo Monson . Mod Mom Dec/Jan 2011-12
I came to the point that this is Tate and Tate has Down Syndrome but he is also my son and I need to get to know him for who he is rather than just as this diagnosis.
—Liz St. Louis . Feature Summer 2009
The thing that stands out for me is the civic duty behind serving in the military. When I’m at a parade and see the veterans walking by carrying the flag—some can hardly walk—they’re still serving. It’s an emotional thing to see and I tell my boys, ‘You respect them for what they did for you and respect the flag and all it stands for.”
—Anna Wittrock . Feature Apr/May 2011
Being a single mom gives me a greater appreciation for my family. They have always been unconditionally supportive of me—they are my lifeline.
—Tara Kessler . Mod Mom Spring
2010
I believe in keeping things in perspective. Being good to those who have been good to you. Being proactive and responsible with my health. Organ donation. And writing thank-you notes the old fashioned way.
—Debby Henrickson . Mod Mom Dec/Jan 2012-13
In my mind I was meant to push the limits because that is what life is about. Pushing it and being in it and doing what you want to do.
—Kathleen Wrigley . Feature Fall 20082012
I have learned that you are taken care of as much as you let God take care of you.
—Glenda Haugen . Feature Dec/Jan 2012-13
I don’t pretend to know everything. I’m not as strong as Jodell is. I couldn’t endure what she has. But you talk about advocacy? I feel tremendous responsibly. It’s my duty. It’s my vows. For better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, I’m committed to making my wife heard.
—Ruel Johnson . Feature Jun/Jul 2012
What he did not accomplish in his physical life, I will do for him in mine. My tribute to him is publishing ‘The Waterslide’.
I’ve learned to just be in the moment with kids. I didn’t choose to be an older mom. I just prayed really hard for those kids, so I don’t take them for granted at all. They’re not possessions, they’re gifts and I get to raise them.
—Kim Jacobson . Feature Aug/Sept 2012
—Troy White . Feature Jun/Jul 2013
If I don’t share my story, my father’s actions are just a series of unfortunate incidences. By sharing my past, his actions now have the power to be something positive.
Every woman should have a great-fitting, feel-fabulous pair of jeans.
—Wendy Howe Baukol . Mod Mom Fall 2009
I felt I had the photography skills and personal experience to become a photographer with NILMDTS. On one hand, I’m giving to families. But it’s also a way for me to reconnect with Beck. I don’t relive his passing in a sad way. I feel empowered that I can honor his memory by helping other people who are like me and help them feel that they are not alone in their loss. —Tami
As we hold on to the last delightful days of summer, the school year begins. We moms are thrown back into the day-to-day grind of scurrying to get everyone out the door freshly bathed, with backpacks readied the night before, and a nutritious homemade breakfast in everyone’s tummy. Every fall this is my delusional goal of domestic bliss. The reality is the kids haven’t bathed since who knows when, by 7:15 I am barking at everyone to get their backpack contents off the dining room table, and breakfast is a bowl of stale cereal.
This lovely fruit-salad recipe takes advantage of the in-season fruits you can find at the supermarket, in your garden, or a local farmers’ market this time of year. Ready in a few minutes, it really works for breakfast, lunch, dinner, dessert or as an afterschool snack. Make a batch with whatever fruit looks best to you and pull it out of your refrigerator for a late-summer anytime treat!
need:
1/4 cup loosely packed fresh mint
3 tablespoons sugar
1 1/4 lbs. blackberries, left whole, or 1 1/2 lbs. sweet cherries, pitted and halved
3 firm-ripe medium peaches or nectarines, halved lengthwise, pitted, and cut into 1/3-inch-thick wedges
1/2 lbs. seedless green grapes [1 1/2 cups], halved
prep:
1. Pulse mint and sugar in a food processor until finely ground.
2. Sprinkle mint sugar over fruit in a large bowl and toss gently to combine.
3. Let stand 5 minutes before serving.
makes:
6 servings.
source: gourmet
photo: thuen studios | scott thuen
Just deciding what to have for dinner can be a chore at times, much less shopping, preparing, and cleaning up afterward! Here are a few tactics to keep dinnertime interesting and to share responsibility with the rest of the family.
kid’s [or parent’s] choice night
Over the weekend, I ask each family member what he or she would like to have for dinner one night in the upcoming week. Everyone chooses a favorite meal and
dinners that week become a special event. This also becomes a good opportunity to engage your children in the meal planning, preparation, serving, and clean up. It is fun to see what each person chooses for his or her special night, and you’ll love that you didn’t have to come up with the idea!
It is embarrassing how many times in a week I run to the grocery store for dinner items and how much food is in my pantry that I totally forget I have! Every so often, I make it a goal to eat several nights in a week only out of what we have stocked in our pantry, refrigerator or freezer. Sometimes I am creative with existing recipes I have, substituting here and there ingredients that I think might work when I don’t have recipe items on hand. There are also many websites where you can enter ingredients in to come up with a recipe from what you have in your cupboards. Yes, sometimes the results are less than stellar [my kids call those meals “Kari’s Creations”], but I have also found some really great go-to meals that I know I always have the ingredients for in my pantry when I’m in a pinch.
I know this sounds exactly the opposite of making meal time easy and stress free, but hear me out. When you are in a meal-making rut, sometimes the best thing to do is shake things up by inviting friends over for dinner to sample a new recipe or just share a simple meal. I have found people don’t care what you feed them, nor do they care what your house looks like –they’re happy to be fed and in your good company! Don’t stress! If your meal doesn’t turn out as hoped, order a pizza and have a good laugh [yes, it's happened to me before]. The benefits abound: you are energized to do something out of the norm, you have fun with friends, you are helping someone else out with their mealtime boredom, and maybe they will invite you over for dinner so you get a night off from cooking!
Ah-hem. Me me me me me me meeeeeeeeee. Like On The Minds Of Moms, I’m just warming up. I begin this column with a song—in the only format I should ever be permitted to sing, by writing: Happy anni-versary. Happy anni-versary. Happy anni-versary.
HAHH-PPY ANNI-VER-SARY!
Dare to dream. Go BIG or go home. On The Minds Of Moms has been in circulation for five years. According to the website description, this magazine brings “a fresh approach to traditional parenting publications. We are modern and inspiring while offering support and real-life advice for today’s family.”
It didn’t start itself. Co-founders and long-time girlfriends
Dani Parkos Fluge and Sheri Kleinsasser Stockmoe pooled their energies and imaginations to build their dream to start a hip, fun, informative magazine that focuses on parenting, families, community and social issues. And it shall be called: “On The Minds Of Moms.”
The recipe to making a dream come true is fairly universal. It requires a solid idea, a bundle of hard work, a whole heart, gobs of hope frosted with prayer, and a giant leap of faith. Dani and Sheri combined these ingredients and poured them into their dream: On The Minds Of Moms.
These local magazine tycoons satiate their appetites by telling other people’s stories. They stand firmly and comfortably behind the scenes. I didn’t interview them for this column. And I’m purposefully submitting it a day past my “hard deadline,” thereby putting them in a tough spot. There will be no time for them to decline this piece. It’ll go to print, despite their wishes of not wanting the light to shine on them. Sorry, Boss Ladies.
On The Minds Of Moms has a heartbeat that pulses through the veins of our community because of the passion and compassion of its founders. Through this swanky publication Dani and Sheri have managed to share, inform, advocate for, support, empower, lift, unite, laugh with, encourage, report, defend, boost,
permit, rouse, inspire, energize, and love families in our community. They have given so many people a voice by pursuing and fulfilling a dream that focuses on others, not themselves. How many people get to impact and enrich the lives of an entire community and are able to say, “It’s all in a day’s work”?
I reached out to the cover girls and boys who have been featured in On The Minds Of Moms and asked them for their reactions to this milestone anniversary. No surprise. They all hold Dani and Sheri and the magazine in high regard. All of them see their affiliation with On The Minds Of Moms as a “gift” or a “blessing.”
In an attempt to describe how Dani and Sheri’s work has impacted the readers, the contributors and the families featured, I found this Dr. Seuss quote that says it best: “To the world, you may be one person, but to one person, you may be the world.” Indeed.
Kathy Frier remembers when Dani called to ask permission to be featured. She said, “Dani made me feel like our family was special and worthy of sharing. This was such a blessing. They weren’t two magazine editors. They were like two dear friends coming to my home. They even followed-up after it was out. They really cared about the whole process for us.”
Heather Butler, another featured mom, told me that, “Dani and Sheri seek out and celebrate the uniqueness, strength and inner beauty that every woman holds within her heart.”
Glenda Haugen was “grateful to see the professionalism and sensitivity in how her story was portrayed.” And she’s “proud to be associated with the magazine.”
Then there’s Anna Wittrock. Anna is a military mom. Anna told me that she was “surprised and humbled” by this invitation. She doesn’t think she “does anything different than any other military mom.” But this gave her an opportunity to “recognize and thank her own family and the entire community” for their support. She describes—as most of these moms do—feeling uncomfortable talking about herself but “appreciative and impressed with how the story unraveled.”
Each of the women I heard from was surprised by the initial call and hesitant to share her story at first. Nancy Soyring says that she was “happy that God brought Dani and Sheri into her life to encourage others.” Jenna Pepsin
Bowel
Craniosacral
agrees, saying that she’s "never been more humbled.” And adds, “Thank you for this opportunity.”
Angela Smith expresses immense gratitude. She remembers Dani and Sheri were “accepting and supportive and almost immediately became friends.” Angela describes feeling “safe” when she shared her experience—a natural struggle for a victim of domestic abuse. She described the opportunity as “healing and empowering” for her. What a gift for so many muted, abused women.
Then there’s Julie Kottsick. Julie understands life—the splendor within the challenges—better than most. Her feature story emphasizes the importance of finding joy in each day. And although her limp muscles physically constrain her in a wheelchair, her spirit and wisdom and optimism have never been stronger. Her disease [ALS] will never marginalize her soul. This woman is a champion of life. By telling her story, our readers see how living a grateful life gives us hope in tomorrow.
Dani and Sheri: Thank you for sharing your passion, your talents, and your compassion with our community.
Thank you for unleashing our voice. Thank you for informing and supporting women. Thank you for taking that leap of faith. Thank you for dreaming BIG.
Your contribution to our piece of the world is powerful. And meaningful. We celebrate YOU and your courage.
“You will come to a place where the streets are not marked. Some windows are lighted. But mostly they’re darked. A place you could sprain both your elbow and chin! Do you dare to stay out? Do you dare to go in? How much can you lose? How much can you win? —Dr. Seuss, in Oh, the Places You’ll Go!
Be bold and dream BIG.
Editor's note: Kathleen Wrigley’s column "In Search of Peace" [June July 2013 issue] ended with a line that was inadvertently extracted from a previous column on a completely separate topic. We regret any confusion caused by this error. Please find the corrected and complete article here: http://www.onthemindsofmoms.com/just-a-thought-junjul13/
We bring a fine arts background, graphic design expertise and years of commercial advertising experience to seeing, capturing and compelling. And it all comes with that special something, the spark, that will set your company, product or service apart.
Vicky Westra knows words are powerful. She’s a writer. She knows words can inspire a crowd, elicit emotion, provide comfort, peace, and even cut deeper than a razor-sharp sword. Yes, she knows the power of words…the power of even a single word. Words have given Vicky a voice, refueled her soul, provided her strength and perspective, and dropped her to her knees in fear of the unknown.
photos: rialee photography | ria czichotzki
Vicky Westra was born and raised in Moorhead, Minnesota. She attended high school with her husband, Rick, but they didn’t start dating until her freshman year of college.
“Of course I thought Vicky was very attractive,” Rick confesses. “But as I spent time with her and got to know her better I found she is also beautiful on the inside.”
The couple married in 1997 and lived in Idaho for a decade. “We had a good life there,” Vicky says. “But after the boys were born, we were really drawn to come back home.”
Nolan [13] and Colton [11] are active in school, baseball, golf, and hockey. Rick is owner of RWP, which specializes in photography, yearbooks, and publishing. And Vicky has found a renewed passion for writing after starting her blog, The Westra World [thewestraworld.blogspot. com], in 2008.
“She has a way with words that just moves you,” says Vicky’s friend Amy Fullmer, a fellow hockey mom. “The descriptive words, the tone she sets....you are pulled in immediately by the words she chooses.”
Through hockey tournaments, school programs, snow storms, and lazy summer days at the lake, Vicky has invited readers along on her journey with all its twists and turns.
“Vicky has always been a tremendous writer,” Rick says. “I am so proud of her.”
the word
“It’s like a New Year’s resolution, but less definable,” Vicky explains about picking a word for each year. “It’s a guiding, general principle and then you watch for all the ways it manifests in your life. Whether you have that word or not, all those things are going to happen to you. You’re just being more intentional in how you view things. The word is your filter to see.”
Her word for 2011 would be alive…
[the westra world 1.1.11] - I picked a word that describes more than anything, what I want to feel. The first word I chose two years ago was “intention.” I still strive to live my moments with purpose and thinking of the word intention grounds me in the moment instantaneously.
Last year my word was “reaching.” I assumed the word would entail me reaching for something, but quickly discovered it was
about all the things and people who reached me. My word surprises me every year.
“My father passed away the summer before and I was walking around in this bubble of grief where everything was just kind of muted,” she says.
Vicky was ready to feel and see everything in her life… everything. But she never imagined how “alive” would truly play out over the next 365 days.
“Fighting for my life wasn’t how I thought I would experience feeling alive,” Vicky says with her voice trailing off. “But I absolutely learned how to feel alive. I was able to really focus on the things that bring me to life.”
the diagnosis
Vicky was feeling great. She had had cysts in her breasts on two other occasions that resolved themselves, so she wasn’t overly concerned when she seemed to have another one. She kept a watchful eye on it, and immediately sought her doctor’s advice when it formed a hard ridge. One ultrasound on March 16, 2011, taking only a couple minutes, supplied the verdict. Vicky was 43 years old and she had breast cancer...
[the westra world 3.23.11] - As I sat there gathering myself, I remember thinking to myself, please God, just let me know how to walk out of here on my own two feet. Please God, just help me breathe. The tech returned. Somehow I made it to the mammogram machine, and back to the exam room for the needle biopsy. The staff were all warm and compassionate. The doctor's hands were gentle. I breathed and walked, breathed and walked. Calmness descended. Please God, be with me. I am no fan of needles.
"Snap," the needle enters and brings out its first sample. I startle at the loud sound it makes, but I hardly feel them. 10 total samples and 2 shots of lidocaine, one hour later I am done. 1 more mammogram. Bleeding stopped, bandaged. I went home.
And fell apart. Are you sure God? I think it takes a really strong person, and I am not feeling all that strong. Soreness settles into my side and arm. How am I going to do this God? Please show me the way...
“It was one of those life-changing surreal moments in life,” Rick recalls. “We talked, there were many tears, fear of the unknown. We worked our way through it and prayed for strength, as we knew life would change dramatically.”
Those close to Vicky couldn’t believe the news, either.
“I remember the day exactly,” says Amy. “She was so calm and okay as she explained the diagnosis to me. I cried like a blubbering idiot!”
Vicky’s demeanor was classic Vicky. She was grounded,
felt like she understood all of the information given to her, she bravely asked her doctor for her prognosis.
“He said, ‘I’m going to tell you what my science tells me, what research says, but I don’t want you to rely on that,’” Vicky recalls. The doctor proceeded to tell her three years.
more worried about everyone else around her than herself, and ready to fight with everything she had.
The following days involved discussions filled with medical terms, tests, and treatment plans. A PET scan revealed the cancer had already spread. Vicky had a spot on her liver and in her vertebrae. She was told she had stage IV cancer.
“I was totally blindsided,” Vicky recalls. “I felt like I was done. This was it. I felt like I maybe only had weeks. You never hear anything good about stage IV, even though I initially didn’t ask what my prognosis was.”
Instead Vicky trusted and listened to her doctor, Dr. Panwalkar, at the Sanford Roger Maris Cancer Center. With so much information to digest, her doctor told her he would see her often and in short bursts to keep things from becoming completely overwhelming. Once Vicky
“In a way it was like, “Oh I’m going to live for a while. Maybe I can do this. I’ve got time,” she remembers. “Then my doctor said, ‘Prove me wrong. Prove me wrong.’”
The plan for Vicky included receiving a promising new drug, TDM1, through participation in a clinical study, mastectomy, and radiation at some point. Vicky also decided to openly write about her journey, sharing every step along the way.
As Vicky forged forward, it was important to tell those close to the Westras, including their “other” family.
“We sent out an email to our hockey family because they are really family to us,” she says.
The email outlined Vicky’s diagnosis, initial course of treatment, and that she would be blogging about her journey if they wanted to follow, and if not that was fine, too. The letter’s recipients responded like any family would.
“It was unbelievable! There was a steady stream of people at my door. The men cried and the women were like, ‘We’re gonna fight this!’” Vicky says with a laugh. The outpouring of support didn’t stop at flowers, cards, books, and meals. It came in the form of fundraising pink bracelets made from hockey skate laces and a girls’
financial challenge they would face during their cancer battle. In just a few short weeks, the group pulled together a benefit that served over 800 meals, included auction items from businesses and individuals alike, and made the star of the night feel amazing.
“The magnitude, planning effort and outpouring of
night out complete with pink attire and boxing gloves to show they were all fighting with Vicky…
[the westra world 4.1.11] - And these hockey moms, friends, sisters really, showered me with gifts, nourished my frazzled mind, fed my weary body and soul, and infused my battered heart with courage, and strength. They made me feel like I mattered. Like somehow I'd won the lottery.
“We relate to Vicky,” says Amy. “Most of us are her age, have kids of our own, and want to support her in any way we can.”
And the hockey family didn’t stop there. They went into planning mode to help the Westras with the inevitable
love was evident that night. It was almost like another wedding,” jokes Vicky. “I just thought how can I be so lucky, so blessed? To take it all in was just overwhelming.”
[the westra world 5.3.1] - So this is my story. I'm just a girl who had a bad thing happen to her. Breast Cancer is both the worst thing that has happened to this girl, but also the thing that has delivered some of the biggest blessings. Her hockey family made her princess for a day, through many long hours of their blood, sweat, and tears. They raised a lot of money for her medical bills, but mostly they showered her with love. They SAW her that day, as they do every day, just a girl who will keep fighting the fight, standing up to cancer and calling herself blessed beyond measure.
Vicky’s friends went on to throw two additional benefits as Vicky endured infusions, chemotherapy, lab tests, scans, and surgery. And while she has insurance, there were many things not covered in her policy. The generosity of her friends and strangers has lifted a weight from the Westras’ shoulders.
The boys have been troopers, but they have also worried about their mom. Vicky has woken some mornings to find one of her sons has snuck into her bedroom the night before and slept on the floor. They have turned down birthday parties and sleepovers, not wanting to be away from home. With everything Vicky has endured, her boys remain a priority.
“We have always loved being from this area,” Ricks says. “After her diagnoses it has only solidified that belief. Words can't express how great the community has been for us, so much support from so many people, so much strength shared, we are incredibly humbled and blessed.”
“Without those benefits, things would look much different for our family,” Vicky says.
A very hard reality for Vicky and Rick has been telling Nolan and Colton about Vicky’s diagnosis and the anticipated road the family would travel together. Their philosophy has been to be honest, live each moment, create memories, and support the boys as best they can.
“I feel what makes my mom special is that even though she has cancer, she is always there for me and my brother,” says Nolan. “She never misses any of my hockey games even if she isn't feeling 100%. She is always there for us.”
Colton agrees. Not only does his mom make the best banana bread ever, she is “just the best mom!”
While Vicky’s diagnosis has been hard for the Westras, they can also see positives.
“Our whole family has changed,” says Rick. “I think it has strengthened our family, our faith has grown, and we are a closer family.”
Ringing in 2012 meant picking a new word for the year. This year the word to guide her would be light.
“I already knew the opposite of light was darkness,” Vicky explains. “And I knew I would probably be walking through periods of darkness, so let’s see what happens when you come through to the other side. And where does the light come from?”
[the westra world 12.31.11] - This is where I want my lens to be... simply so that when I walk through the valley of darkness, my eyes are trained to see and feel and experience all things "light."
While Vicky suffered from side effects of her treatment, including fatigue and nausea, her treatment had been slowing the progression of her cancer with some masses even shrinking. But an MRI in February 2012 would sadly reveal that wasn’t the case anymore. The cancer was progressing in her lungs and there was now a spot on her brain. Her treatment would now include a new chemotherapy and radiation. With the prospect of radiation, Vicky couldn’t help but see the correlation between her word of the year and upcoming treatment.
“Radiation is nothing but beams of light being shot at you,” she says. “That’s the most powerful light I could get!”
The new chemotherapy also meant she would lose her hair.
“You know, everyone says, ‘If I had to lose my hair, no big deal’…until you actually have to lose your hair! Then guess what? It’s not as easy as it sounds,” she says.
[the westra world 3.14.12] – The shedding started day 16, the first day of the hockey tournament. Not clumps of hair, just all over hair shedding on a continuous basis. I’m both fascinated by it, and a little appalled. I find piles like dust bunnies skidding across the floor. The back of my shirt looks furry sometimes. I run my fingers through my hair with 6, 7, and 8 strands coming free all at once. The realization that new hair, new growth isn’t replacing what is falling out, sinks in slowly.
You think you are prepared for it. But honestly? The sinking feeling in your stomach tells you – not so much…
I’ve learned a lot about letting go…each hair is symbolic in a way, of all the things I’m leaving behind…many of which were never really mine to begin with – I just didn’t know that. But, I feel vulnerable in ways I haven’t before.
the following
Rick himself is a fan of The Westra World. He recognizes his wife’s ability to express herself, her thoughts, her feelings through perfectly chosen words. But he also sees another consequence of her writing.
“It also serves to replenish her when she isn't feeling well,” Rick says. “So many thoughts and prayers from all over the world come in that it truly makes a difference in how she feels.”
With every post Vicky writes, her followers flood her with comments…
“I feel utterly blessed to be in the presence of your lessons…”
“All of us, your prayer warriors, are on our knees this morning for you…”
“You have more grace than anyone I know. How can we all not just sit here in amazement at you, your strength, your beauty...and it's all just you being you...”
“Tears…just tears…and gratitude for you…”
“You paint such a vivid picture with words. You have the gift…”
“You amaze me, you inspire me, and you encourage me…”
[the westra world 3.6.12] – Time and time again, people have come together for our family. I’m humbled BEYOND belief and still clinging to the idea, this is not about ME. I’m part of something much bigger than one soul, one spirit, one person. A current of goodness and blessings is flowing, in and around us and I am simply a conduit.
Every time shadows cast darkness on my path, people enter my world to “rekindle my spark.”
The Westra World followers don’t just comment, they reach out to Vicky as well. Each walk to the mailbox is like Christmas day. The anticipation of what she will find and where it will come from is both humbling and treasured.
“I’ve received things from all over the U.S., as well as Germany, Australia, and Switzerland. It’s so crazy! I have a bookcase full of the things I have received.”
For 2013 Vicky chose a word that would challenge her. Get her outside her box and enjoy every moment put in her path…
[the westra world 1.1.13] – I’ve sort of backed into my word this year. I’ve actually been resisting it a bit and perhaps just being way too choosy altogether. What I’ve noticed lately, is my inclination to hesitate. To sigh, to make a face, or shudder, at some of the things we’ve faced. It’s almost second nature.
I eventually surrender, or adopt a positive outlook. But what if I just decided to lean in? What if I just put my arms out and opened them wide. Because the journey will unfold despite how resistant I am, or hesitant, or down right scared.
So what if I could just wrap my arms all the way around the experience? What might I find?
I’m ready to find out.
I’m choosing the word…embrace.
So Vicky is embracing. She recently accepted the opportunity to speak to a local women’s church group and she enjoys every day regardless of what tomorrow can bring.
“In May they found two spots on my brain,” she says quietly. “I have not asked my prognosis, but it’s not good. It’s a miracle that I’m here now. That’s what it feels like to me. I’m just lucky to be here today.”
Vicky recently underwent radiation treatment to her brain again and has started another chemotherapy, she will continue to fight and embrace each new day.
“My world has gotten really small,” Vicky explains. “I have a hard time even looking into next week. But that’s not a big deal to me. I’ll worry about next week, next week. Because if I don’t do that I’m taking away from this beautiful day and today I feel good, I look good, the sun’s shining, so why take that away? Next week I might not get that, but I have that right now, so I’m going to take it.”
And she continues to write.
“When I write, it comes through me,” she explains. “A lot of times it doesn’t feel like me. I sit down and it literally pours out of me.”
Vicky’s mission today? To let all of us know we are strong and capable.
“Everyone is going to go through some things, challenging, hard, gritty, messy things,” Vicky says. “We all have those things. And if someone like me, the girl next door, if I can go through these things, you can too.”
For those closest to Vicky, she is much more than just “the girl next door.”
To Amy, her friend encompasses the words encouraging and impressive.
“Vicky having cancer has changed me and the way I try to live,” Amy says. “She has helped me see the joys of all the little things around me and given me a greater appreciation of life and friendship.”
To Nolan and Colton, their mom is their cheerleader, helpful and caring.
“My mom is smart with words,” Colton says. And what makes her special? “Everything, just everything.”
To Rick, his wife is simply an angel, with an inner strength and faith unmatched.
“She has truly lived each day making the most of it and living intentionally,” Rick says. “She is a special woman who in many ways is helping all of us see life differently, with more clarity and meaning.”
Vicky scoffs at such praise.
“I hear all the time, ‘you’re inspiring,’ ‘you’re amazing,’ ‘you’re all these things.’ I appreciate that and understand where it comes from, but I’m just normal. You’d do the same thing. If given the choice, and your back was against the wall, you’d do exactly what I’m doing. Even though you’d have fear and you’d worry about it, you would do it, too…I know you would…you would get through it.”
Follow Vicky on her blog: thewestraworld.blogspot.com
Read the two articles Vicky previously wrote for OTMOM: www.onthemindsofmoms.com/woym_octnov2011/ www.onthemindsofmoms.com/woym_dec12jan13/
Vicky has worked to promote the importance of cancer research by being a part of the Edith Sanford Breast Cancer Foundation’s Stories of Hope videos [www.edithsanford.org/stories-of-hope/ vickys-story/]
“There is a ton of breast cancer awareness,” Vicky says. “We all recognize the pink ribbons and know they are for breast cancer, but when you buy pink ribbon items very little goes to breast cancer research.”
The Edith Sanford Breast Cancer Foundation website states its mission is, “to unlock each woman’s genetic code, advance today’s prevention and treatment, and end breast cancer for future generations.”
“Breast cancer awareness isn’t going to save my life, research is,” Vicky says. “And that is what the Edith Sanford Breast Cancer Foundation is about…research for a cure with 100% of donations going directly to find a cure.”
[the westra world 11.5.12] - I think we need to untie the pink ribbon. We need to loosen the strings and unwrap the pink ribbon bow from awareness and re-tie those pink ribbons around research. We need to shift not just our thinking, but our actions.
Learn more about the Edith Sanford Foundation at www.edithsanford.org.
awareness isn’t going to save my life…
story by | sheri kleinsasser stockmoe
As we stroll along this parenting trail, we encounter many things. Some wonderful rewards of residing in Mamaville and others lessons in patience and perseverance, leaving us looking for an eviction notice. Even the best mamas can be pushed to their limit, but we know there are things we NEVER do to our kiddos. NO name calling, belittling, screaming, or being abusive in any fashion…NEVEREVER! But could you be saying things that you don’t even realize could be affecting your kiddo negatively? Here are a few phrases to keep out of your mama verbal repertoire.
I
t’s inevitable. As your wee one grows, you are going to feel like there just isn’t enough time. There will be a week where you just need one more day to get everything done. Or a day with 27 hours and you’ll be all caught up, right? Sorry, ain’t gonna happen. But all the while, you still have a little ankle bitter begging for attention. With each request, it is building and soon passes your lips, “I’m busy!”
that’s what I meantWhat? You didn’t lie, you really are busy! And doesn’t it always seem like your wee one waits in the shadows until you are in the middle of something and that’s when he needs you right now? A mater-of-fact statement like
[0–18 months] this spot is available! less than
“I’m busy” can be translated into you simply dismissing his needs and cause feelings of being unappreciated. Obviously, that isn’t what you meant, so what should you do/say? First, to nurture a self-confident, well-adjusted human doesn’t mean you drop whatever you are doing at his beckoning. Instead, acknowledge his need, but tell him you need time to finish what you are doing, “Mama needs to finish this and then as soon as I’m done, I’ll help you. Please wait here or go play with your toys until I’m done.” Be sure and throw in a “thank you” at the end. Manners, manners, manners!
$100 a month
You’ve been at it all day. You’ve gone to your mama toolkit multiple times to rein in your tot. You’ve done great, but now? Really? You’ve hit your tipping point. Enough! “Just wait until daddy gets home!”
It’s exactly what you want to do. Throw your hands up in the air, raise the white flag, and tell your parenting partner you’re done for today. Sorry, mama, that ain’t gonna fly for a few reasons:
• be the law Last thing you want to do is undermine your own authority. Putting off deserved discipline by telling your tot dad will take care of it sends the
signal that you can’t handle it. Who wants their tot thinking, “Well, mama isn’t going to do anything, so why should I listen to her?” Step up, mama! You can handle it…and will!
• not so fair Your parenting partner wasn’t there for the crime and it isn’t fair to paint him the bad cop. It happened on your watch, you take care of it.
• too late Proper discipline is used to correct behavior. At any kiddo age, discipline is most effective when it happens right after the infraction. With your tot, waiting can result in him not even remembering what he did in the first place! Your tot does the crime, you enforce the time…immediately!
one study found that both mamas [59%] and dads [52%] thought that the most important quality for their child to learn to prepare him life is the ability to think for himself, with obedience being the second most important quality
Your preschooler is bright. He knows his numbers, colors, writes his name, and he’s sure to beat even you in a hardcore game of Memory. It’s no wonder your frustration levels reach nuclear meltdown when he does something that makes completely no sense and you blurt out, “Come on, you know better than that!”
you sure
Learning through life involves experimentation…a whole lot of trial and error. As frustrating and hair-pulling as it can be, your preschooler has to have a couple blunders in order to perfect things down the road. You, on the
other hand have years of experience to rely on. Many things are second nature to you, but your preschooler is still learning and there are going to be mistakes. A comment like “you know better than that” infers that he already knows, but does he? He really might not know grape juice stains the carpet, or running his new toy car on the wall chips the paint. Your preschooler deserves the benefit of the doubt. Take the opportunity to teach him and be specific, “Help me clean this up and next time, please drink your juice at the table.” “Your car’s wheels are damaging the wall, so please play with it only on the floor.”
[6–9 years]
Healthy living…it’s a big lesson we mamas work to instill in our big kids. Healthy living in mind, body, and spirit. And you’re a teacher always looking to instill your wisdom. It’s no surprise as your big kid reaches for a second piece of cake that you take the bait to offer some motherly advice by asking, “Are you sure you need to eat that?”
gonna eat that
OK, your intentions are spot on, you want him making healthy food decisions. The delivery, not so much. Last thing you want to do is create any negative body image issues. Staying away from comments like this is
best. Instead, create an environment for healthy eating decisions starting at home:
• your choice If you don’t want them to have it, don’t have it in the house. Stock your fridge and pantry with the choices you want your big kid making.
• power balance What happens when someone tells you can’t have something? Odds are you want it more, right? Don’t turn food into a power struggle. Putting so much focus and energy on what he can’t eat makes food powerful. Exactly what you don’t want.
• watch mama Be the example you want your big kid to follow. Who wants advice on healthy eating from someone finishing off a whole bag of potato chips? Not me or your big kid!
in one study, 70% of kiddos under age 12 reported they were likely to talk with their mama or dad about nutrition and their body size
Your tweener can debate with the best of them. A future politician or litigating attorney isn’t a far stretch for a “yeah, but” master. As conflicts arise and your tweener works his case, you’re not in the mood and there it comes, “I don’t care!”
whoa mama
Talk about a conversation stopper! The last thing you want to do is stop your tweener from talking, right? One of the biggest things we mamas try to do is keep the lines of communication open with our tweeners. What he has to say may be very important to him and he feels is justified, you don’t want to discount that. But as the mama it’s fair for you to stop the banter in its
tracks, but not with an “I don’t care.” Instead tell him, “We are done talking about this right now and we’ll discuss it later.” Now the big revelation? Don’t forget to talk about it later! A big mistake we mamas can make is saying one thing and not following through. Say what you mean and mean what you say! Don’t end the day without returning to your discussion. Keeping the lines of communication open now will benefit both of you in years to come.
sources: raisehealthyeaters.com | womansday.com | cnn.com happyworker.com | webmd.com | advocatesforyouth.org sheknows.com | healthland.time.com | fatherhood.hhs.gov
studies have found that when parents and their kiddos have good communication, along with appropriate firmness, the kiddos report less depression and anxiety and more selfreliance and self-esteem
[10–12 years]
You knew it! The writing was on the wall. I mean, wasn’t it obvious? You told him, but nooo! He didn’t listen. And now here we are, right where you said we would be. As you sit smugly in your mama knowledge of all things, you can’t help but say, “I told you so!”
It is so tempting to flaunt, “I was right and he was wrong,” when your advice wasn’t taken. But what does that accomplish? Nothing, except your teen feeling worse and probably getting mad at you. Who needs that? So before you unleash a tongue dagger you can’t take back, keep this in mind:
• independence day What mama has ever said, “I know everything and I want my child to come to
me before making any decision in life, so he doesn’t screw up.”? None, I hope. The “I told you so” retort casts a shadow of doubt on his decision-making abilities. He has to be able to make his own decisions and then deal with the consequences. Last thing you want is your teen shutting down, getting defensive, and not talking with you about future decisions he needs to make.
• been there done that Every mama has a decision in her past that she would love a re-do on. So channel those past feelings and offer a sympathetic ear. “I’m sorry it didn’t work out the way you wanted. What are you going to do now?”
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Lori Hager, Director of Admissions
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orLori.Hager@fdjp2.k12.nd.us www.fdjp2.k12.nd.us
a study found that teens who described their families as warm and caring reported less marijuana use and less emotional distress than their peers
I grew up the youngest of four children, which I believe gave me a certain perspective, logic, or quite possibly even a personality disorder. I was always striving to keep up with my sister and brothers. Now, my mother liked to use words like determined, hardworking, and motivated to describe me. Have I mentioned I love my mom? Of course, as an adult that translates to aggressive, over competitive, and obsessed. Not the best traits when you’re shooting for World’s Greatest Mother. Which, of course, I am daily. If I’m honest with myself I know I am probably not in the running, but a girl needs goals!
My youth may have something to do with my drive for perfection in parenting, but I now know perfection is impossible. We turn parenting into a competition. You hear mothers on the playground saying, “I buy organic,” “I work out every day,” and “It’s easy to potty train.” To them I say, “congratulations;” to me I say, “good try!” Today, I think I’m a realist.
In the interest of full disclosure, I will share a couple examples that may not help my World’s Best Mother campaign, but may help you let yourself off the hook.
• For two months the boys threw laundry soap up in the air, pretending it was snowing, before I finally switched to liquid detergent. Not sure what I was waiting on there. Maybe I earn a couple votes for boosting their imaginations. And when I vacuumed it always smelled like Tide!
• Once I told a daycare center my son was potty trained to get a better rate. Hey, money was tight and it wasn’t a total lie; we had talked about potty training. He caught on fast. Thank you, Wonder Years in Detroit, for the assist!
• I let the twins sleep in their car seats for close to three months. Doesn’t “let sleeping dogs lie” apply to kids?
• I let my daughter ride a dirt bike...into a garage [don’t worry, she’s fine]. At the time I was claiming equality for women. The boys did it—why can’t she? You should have heard the speech I gave my husband. Hindsight is truly 20/20. She was clearly too young.
• Sometimes we eat cookies for breakfast!
A friend showed me a coffee mug last week that read, “World’s Okayest Mother.” Made me laugh and then I realized, wow I might REALLY be in the running for this one! I think my Okayest campaign would go so much better than my Best campaign. For example...
• I haven’t run out of milk in two weeks.
• I have not paid a late fee for a summer camp in over five years [that one is huge!].
• I have managed to train all my kids on the finer points of loading and unloading the dishwasher and the very difficult skill of washing clothes. I am not saying they’re consistent, but in a pinch they can get it done.
• I have developed a new family communication system we refer to as the “family group text.” Totally counts as communication and quality time.
• I managed to have graduation pictures taken, framed, and hung up before our graduation party.
I know it is human nature to compare yourself with others, but it is not realistic. The grass isn’t always greener, the laundry isn’t always done, and dinner isn’t always ready. I am not saying that I am throwing in the towel on shooting for greatness. As my mom would say, I am still determined, hardworking, and motivated! However, I have realized the end game is raising healthy, happy, confident kids and sometimes the World’s Okayest Mother is just right.
photo: timeless images photography | jessica jarmin
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