April/May 2014 On the Minds of Moms

These are the little things that suddenly mean everything when you are experiencing pain and discomfort or dealing with dulled or eliminated senses.

The Ear, Nose and Throat specialists at Essentia Health–South University Clinic will help you get you back to enjoying what you miss, sooner.

Essentia Health–South University

1702 South University Drive | Fargo

701.364.8900

EssentiaHealth.org

Dr Belizario Dr. Bruns

Dr. Tsen Lisa Moen, NP Dr. Buell

on the minds of moms

www.onthemindsofmoms.com

PUBLISHER DS Communication, LLC

EDITOR Dani Parkos Fluge

COPY EDITOR Charlotte Berg

ADVERTISING Mary Klabo p: 218.791.2848

e: mary@onthemindsofmoms.com

Sheri Kleinsasser Stockmoe p: 701.306.1624

e: sheri@onthemindsofmoms.com

PHOTOGRAPHY Ria Czichotzki – rialee photography

Lauren Kupfer – rialee photography

Sabrina Kliniske – rialee photography

Scott Thuen – thuen studios

DESIGN AND LAYOUT Scott Thuen – thuen studios www.thuenstudios.com

AD DESIGN Casie Beldo

Scott Thuen

Tara Kessler

Stephanie Drietz

Amanda McKinnon

EDITORIAL CONTACT e: hello@onthemindsofmoms.com

INFORMATION mail: PO Box 190, Fargo, ND 58107

SUBSCRIPTION print & digital www.onthemindsofmoms.com/subscribe

COVER PHOTO BY Ria Czichotzki – rialee photography

OTMOM MISSION STATEMENT

On The Minds Of Moms Magazine is dedicated to providing parents of all ages a bimonthly resource they can trust. A fresh approach to traditional parenting publications, we are modern and inspiring while offering a community of local support and real-life advice for today’s family.

On The Minds Of Moms contains views from across the parenting spectrum. These views do not necessarily reflect those of the publisher. All activities listed in these pages are at your own risk and require appropriate supervision.

OTMOM is a publication available at all Fargo-Moorhead Hornbacher's, Sunmart, and Grand Forks–East Grand Forks Hugo's grocery store locations. Distribution also includes all partnering advertisers. Copyright 2014 All Rights Reserved.

knowing is believing what do you know for sure?

greg anderson fergus falls | mn shop talk: page 24

One thing I know for sure is that lives are changed at camp!

kari klingsporn

hitterdal fargo | nd food for thought: page 52

I know for sure that, for me, this world is not black and white.  There is a whole lot of grey!  Just when I think I know something, I get a wake-up call reminding me I may not know much of anything!  But I am okay with not knowing all the answers.  Maybe I will have all the answers when I am 90, but for now, I am still learning.

deb uglem moorhead | mn oh, by the way: page 80

I know that each day is a new beginning and we all have a choice to be happy and enjoy the day or be unhappy and just get through the day. I also know being around the happy people is more fun!

dr.

mathison fargo | mn body + being: page 38

I am a work in progress. I will never be the perfect doctor, mom, wife, or friend, but I strive to act with good intentions and be open to the feedback I'm given from the world. I'm curious about life. I love to try new things and learn [just passed my third board certification!]. I learn from my mistakes as well, and change and grow through challenge. My small son Grant helps me see the wonder and magic that surrounds us every day, and reminds me how precious it is to be alive.

dr. amy

anderson west fargo | nd did you know: page 57

I know for sure that I will NEVER be as organized as I would like to be. Organization is imperative in my profession, but I tend to leave it all there! I look around my house and at my life and I know exactly how I want things to look. I want a perfectly clean house with no clutter. I want my kids to always have their homework completed well ahead of time, and I want to be able to blissfully and calmly traverse from home to school, to work, back to school, then to after-school activities, to home again…and have a nice healthy homecooked meal ready each night. HA! I know for sure that will never happen, but boy…wouldn’t that be nice?

kathleen wrigley bismarck | nd just a thought: page 60

I know—for sure—that my faith is a reliable resource of strength and optimism.

carlson dilworth | mn feature: page 64

Nothing yet. Ask me again when I'm Oprah.

brandis lafrombois grand forks | nd what’s on your mind: page 20

I know that the greatest joy in life is love. Whether it is family, friends, teammates, or hobbies, there is no greater thing in life than to love freely and as often as possible.

susan

patricia

16 months old mom and dad: kate and ryan

from: west fargo, nd

photos: rialee photography | ria czichotzki styling by: pout kids & baby boutique

contest winner

i can never get enough of…music! I love to dance, shake, and move around all the time!

i am most like my…mama Daddy says we both have crazy, curly hair, and can't stop talking! when i was born…I was daddy and mama's answered prayers

i heart….bath time! I dash to the tub when I hear the faucet running, and love splashing water on myself and mama Mama says I end up with more water outside the tub than there is in it!

the best eats…chicken and fruit—yummy!

taitym

20 months old

mom and dad: mallory & michael from: rothsay, mn

the best baby invention… Baby Einstein DVDs are my fave! i am most like my…mommy…we LOVE shoes!  the best eats…YOGURT!

my name came from…my mommy’s  obsession with Channing Tatum… then my grandma came up with the spelling

contest runner-ups

roman

35 months old mom: melissa from: jamestown, nd

i am most like…myself! I'm a little bit sassy, I'm REALLY funny, and I'm pretty sweet and loveable too! i always giggle at…puppies! I really want one but my mom says "no way!"

i can never get enough of…my uncles when I was born… I was a whopping 10 lbs 6oz!  the best eats…breakfast sausage, strawberries, and popcorn!

Raised on a farm near Woodworth, ND, and the little sister to three older brothers [the youngest being 17 years older] Debi Zastrow is all about family Currently a Program Specialist for Lakes and Prairies Head Start [LPHS] in Moorhead, MN, Debi is very passionate about the Lakes and Prairies Head Start children When she isn’t giving her time and self at LPHS, Deb and her husband and best friend, Tim, wrap themselves around their own family, sons Ryan [37], Casey [33], their wives Jennifer and Christina, and three grandbabies, Maddie [3], Carson [18 months] and Sophie [2 ½] Debi says she is blessed and it means absolutely everything to her to carry the Grandma title

photos: rialee photography | sabrinia kliniske

something we don’t know about you… 30-some years ago I was a body builder. I found out a few years ago that Casey, my youngest, use to tell his friends if they were mean to him that his mom would beat up their dad!

i would love to invent… a fashion mirror. You would scan your body image, clothes, shoes, handbags, and accessories. You would answer some simple questions [such as casual or dressy, climate, etc.] and, walla! You look in the mirror and you are dressed. If you don’t like the outfit, then you could swipe it and something else would appear. Husbands, you would love this because it may [I use the word may] cut down on the amount of shopping we do. Because don’t we always say “I have nothing to wear,”?

if i could meet any one person, past or present, it would be…

Jacqueline Kennedy. She was such a classy lady and led such an interesting life. one word that best describes me… my husband answered this question—caring! something unique about me… the ability to hear/see all sides of an issue.

i’m a big believer in… women never having enough shoes and purses. The Fashion Mirror may change my beliefs!

age 59, fargo nd

if i could live any day over it would be… the births of my sons, because it is such an amazing feeling to see your children for the very first time. i’m not afraid to admit… that I record “Days of Our Lives” every day! And watch it first thing when I get home from work.

being a grandma means…

ABSOLUTELY EVERYTHING! It’s such a privilege to be a grandma. When Maddie says, “I love you Grandma Z,” Sophie whispers in my ear, “I love you, Nana,” and Carson kisses me over and over again with his handsome smile and then giggles, there is nothing better. I am so blessed! something my boys would say i was right about…

”The day you become daddies is when you will truly know and understand how much I love the both of you.”

best mistake i’ve made… introducing my single friend to a new customer of mine, thinking they might enjoy each other’s company. Guess what…she didn’t, but I did, and now we are celebrating our 17th wedding anniversary. Yay for me!

something i admire but would never do…

skydiving!

every woman, no matter her age, should have…

at least one really, really good friend.

i feel beautiful when…

my grandchildren are admired by others and when I wear my little black dress for an evening with my husband.

the best book i’ve ever read…

”After Ann” by Roxanne Henke. Every woman must read it!!

best advice to my younger self…

”Don’t sweat the small stuff.”

the one tv series i hate to miss…

Shark Tank and The Bachelor/Bachelorette.

side-by-side

Peggy Ulrich and her daughter Becky Kaiser are closer than ever before. The mother daughter pair was diagnosed with cancer one day apart from each other, and they are now fighting the disease side-by-side.

For 60-year-old Peggy, the diagnosis of breast cancer came during her annual mammogram. But 36-year-old Becky was pregnant with her second child when her doctor, Sanford Fargo OB/GYN Christina Tinguely, MD, first noticed something on her ultrasound.

“There were two small ovarian cysts,” remembers Dr. Tinguely. “It wasn’t overly concerning so we just decided to monitor them. And they never grew throughout her pregnancy.”

Once Becky delivered healthy baby girl Reese, she returned to Sanford Fargo for a six-week postpartum check-up, however the cysts were still there. Becky had them removed, but tests came back showing that they were cancerous.

Five days later, Becky received a hysterectomy at Sanford Health in Sioux Falls, S.D. Now both faced with

a cancer diagnosis and months of treatment, mother and daughter stuck together, often times sharing rooms side-by-side in the hospital. Both women are still receiving treatment, but thanks to early detection and an aggressive approach, their prognosis is good.

And while the cancer journey isn’t yet over for these two women, they look forward to the day when it is just a memory.

“We are just ready to put this in the past,” says Becky. “It will be something that we can look back on and remember how we made it through together.”

Routine, preventive cancer screenings is where it starts. Contact your primary care provider to discuss your screening needs. Protect your health.

cancer.sanfordhealth.org

life

story by | brandis lafrombois

I always remember the saying “Life is what happens when you are making plans.” There is so much truth in these simple words and I did not fathom how instrumental it would be in my parenting. I never dreamed my life could be as complete and fantastic as it is. Growing up without a mother there was always an incomplete part of myself I could never fill. There was an ache in my heart when I saw my friends spend time with their mothers and enjoy all the things that mothers do for their children that I would never know.

Then came the day our first son entered the world. Gavin made his appearance after 15 hours of labor. Having read almost every book, article, planning ahead, and taking parenting classes, I sill wasn’t prepared for the fever and elevated heart rate that had Gavin whisked away to the NICU. I had only 20 seconds to view his beautiful little face! Devastated that I had no belly time with my newborn and I didn’t get to hold him, I fretted I had lost that first crucial moment of bonding that so many articles mentioned. Anxiety stricken, I waited for six hours agonizing if I had lost that important moment with my newborn. After my beautiful bundle

is what happens when you are making plans

was finally returned to me and to my arms, I vowed to never put him down ever. Despite the initial scare, he was released in good health and from the start of his infancy he kept our hours filled with smiles, giggles, and sunshine.

Gavin embodied what all the articles had said of infant growth and progress. Milestones were reached ahead of time, and because I had read just about everything I could on childhood progress, I thought I had a baby Einstein. All of the experiences with our first child reaffirmed in our hearts that we needed another set of feet around us and so began our journey to a second child. After having a great first child what could go wrong?

From the start my pregnancy glow was not so much a glow as an oily pallor that could’ve allowed me to serve as the spokesperson for an anti-shine face product or for paper towels. At five months’ I was already getting “Any day now?” comments from co-workers and strangers and counting down the days when I could paint my toenails and fit in the bathtub again. It was a stressful pregnancy. I made several trips to the doctor and had two overnight stints in the hospital with anti-labor medication. We spent many hours praying our new child would stay put for the rest of the pregnancy. In the end we had a scheduled induction because he decided to change direction the last two weeks of pregnancy and stay that way. Enter Ashton Anthony, our second blessing.

By the end of his first week it was clear I had been overzealous in my attempt to verbalize how fantastic motherhood was. Instead of coos and smiles we had hours of gas, spit-up, and screaming. Our beautiful new son decided his schedule was to sleep 15–20 minutes at a time followed by 45–55 minutes of screaming. The only thing that alleviated his suffering was to be strapped in a carrier and walked around for hours; many, many erratic hours. I lost 15 pounds from walking the carpet threadbare and discovered hair has an evil way of turning on you at your weakest point: I appeared to be molting.. It was also during Ashton’s first months on this earth that I discovered a fantastic substance called coffee…

Floundering through the weeks with a child deemed a “colicky” baby, I found myself wondering if I didn’t bite off more than I could chew. Pursuing a bachelor’s degree and working a part-time job while my husband worked 12-hour night shifts left my four-year-old not understanding why mommy was a walking zombie.

what’s on your mind?

When I couldn’t remember how he liked his cereal with a splash of sprinkles on top and I slept sitting up I realized that I had turned into a younger version of the comic strip “Maxine.” I did not care if company came over and saw the floor strewn with toys and the dishes heaped in the sink. Maybe the visitors could hold my child long enough for me to take a shower with 409 to degrease my unbathed body. Or they could clean, if they so chose, or sweep items aside to find a place to sit and enjoy my milk-stained, harried, uncombed presence. I also realized Gavin may not be at every play date and outing possible. He was content with mommy giving him the attention he needed, even if it was in 15-minute spurts. I realized that no two children are alike and someday, just someday, my Ashton would smile and coo—even if it was at graduation. I also realized that no matter the quantity of articles, books, or advice we devour, each child is different and no matter how much you plan, life will happen.

Thankfully, after many months of crisis management and coffee, Ashton’s first birthday came and went and now he runs up to me with arms open wide. He wraps his arms around my neck and smashes my face into his for a kiss and giggle. And the pitter-patter of feet in my home is usually mine! I am often in hot pursuit of Ashton, who has just snatched my cell phone and called Canada or some exotic place I will see on next month’s cell phone bill, or to harvest the remote—he recently purchased a movie on cable.

When asked if I want another child I can now answer without hesitation, “Yes.” Through the roughest months the smell of a child’s hair, the softness of his cheek, and the look in his eyes makes being a mother the most rewarding and fantastic job, no matter how hard it can be. The most difficult part of parenting is the expectation we place on ourselves and on each other.

In the end I guess my first son sums it all up with his own personal philosophy: “You get what you get and you don’t have a fit”.

Residing in Grand Forks, ND, Brandis is currently the Manager of the Greater Grand Forks Fair and an Apartment Manager for Builders Management and Investment.  Spending time with her husband Waylon and sons Gavin [7], and Ashton [3] is her greatest joy. When not busy with family or work she spends her time training Mixed Martial Arts and Jiu Jitsu and Progressive Martial Arts. Brandis and her family love to spend time fishing, camping, and vacationing in Colorado.

to camp or not?

story by | greg anderson

Agreat summer camp experience can lead a child to exclaim, “This was better than Disneyland!”; a disappointing time could place camp far down on the list of future summer options. This reality leads some parents to wonder if fitting camp into a crowded summer schedule is worth it. According to a March 2011 report on Stltoday.com [the website of the St Louis Post-Dispatch], the friendships, new experiences, and character-building activities at camp develop emotional

intelligence, a factor that is a more important indicator of adult happiness and success than IQ scores. Camp gives young people the opportunity to learn about themselves, develop confidence, discover strengths, and meet new challenges in an environment of loving guidance. Borrowing a phrase from the American Camping Association, “Camp does kids a world of good.”

Yet questions for moms remain. One challenge is knowing when a child is ready for a camp experience. An often-overlooked method that usually tells the truth

is to simply ask the child if he would like to attend a camp. After understanding what is involved, e.g., a few days away from home, meeting new friends, etc., hearing a hearty “Yes!” is a good indicator, while an emphatic “No” says otherwise. A “Maybe” allows for further investigation and encouraging. It is usually a good idea to make sure the child has spent time away from home prior to camp, perhaps with grandparents or a good friend.

Before the decision as to which camp to attend is made, parents should remember to involve their son or daughter in the process. Be sure to visit the camp’s website and study brochures. If at all possible visit the camp ahead of time in order to: ask about staff credentials and the training standards that are in place; see the accommodations up close, make sure they are clean, safe, and in good repair, chat with food-service personnel, and gain a feel for the friendliness and seriousness of purpose exhibited by the staff.

Once a camp is selected it is time to prepare for the experience. Parents can be very influential in setting up their child for a good experience by telling him what a great time he’ll have and encouraging by telling him that they know he’ll love it. Good camps understand that their role is to work as a partner with parents, supporting what is taught at home and caring for the child as a loving parent would. Then should an issue arise, such as homesickness, parents can be confident that the camp will manage the situation in concert with them..

According to researchers, kids spend on average 3.5 minutes in meaningful conversation with their parents each week [http://www.csun.edu/science/health/ docs/tv&health.html]. At camp, caring adults come alongside, helping campers think through decisions and experiences in a way that prepares them for their future. In this setting, separate from their daily routine while immersed in fun, kids have opportunity to shed the expectations and pressures of others, freeing them to blossom into whom they were made to be.

Since 1990 Greg Anderson has served as Executive Director of Inspiration Point Christian Camp in Clitherall, MN, a comfortable lodging experience with excellent food service, hospitable staff, wide variety of activities, and reasonable pricing, offering year-round camp and retreat opportunities for people of all ages to come away for refreshment and renewal. Greg’s responsibilities are in the areas of personnel development, strategic planning, development, and spiritual

oversight of the camp ministry. Greg speaks around the country at churches, camps, and conferences on the topics of leadership and ministry to children, youth, and families. He and his wife, Janet, live in Fergus Falls, MN, with their daughters Elise and Kara. In addition to camp ministry, Greg also enjoys water-fowling and upland hunting, reading, music, travel, cheering on his family, conversations over a good cup of coffee, and watching baseball. His dream vacation would be to spend a summer traveling around the states to watch a major league baseball game in every stadium.

Inspiration Point

September–May

1030 Alcott Ave W., Fergus Falls, MN [p] 218.998.4572

June-August

13207 Inspiration Trail, Clitherall, MN [p] 218.864.5379 [e] office@ipoint.org www.ipoint.org

▸ Open year-round, 7:30 a.m. to 5:30 p.m.

▸ NAEYC-accredited preschool program.

▸ Staffed by licensed teachers and education majors

▸ Nutritious meals following the USDA Child Care Food Program guidelines.

▸ Spacious gymnasium and playground. Enroll

218.477.2214

mnstate.edu/childcare

april events

Child Abuse Prevention Month

www.stopchildabusend.com

www.pcamn.org

Help strengthen families and prevent child abuse and neglect.

1

$18 for members, $25 non-members. Registration is required.

7

WF Moms On The Run

www.momsontherun.com

Spring registration continues for West Fargo Moms On The Run – ND’s first chapter of Moms On The Run. Run for fitness, fun & friendship. For more info and to register, visit their website. Save $10 with the code ‘MomsMag10’.

4, 5 & 6

El Zagel Shrine Circus

701.241.9100

www.fargodome.com

High-wire and trapeze acts, clowns, bears, elephants, cotton candy, and much, much more! Check Fargodome website for show times and ticket info.

5

Saturday Fun Nights

www.ymcacassclay.org/funnights

Parent's Night Out while the kids enjoy the YMCA! 4:30pm-9:30pm, Schlossman YMCA [4243 19th Ave S, Fargo], Grade K-6,

Purse & Quilt and More Auction

www.catholiccharitiesnd.org

Support Catholic Charities of ND by attending their Purse & Quilt and More Action at the Hilton Garden Inn in Fargo. Featuring heirloom-quality quilts and fantastic purses, as well as service, sporting and entertainment packages in both live and silent auctions. All proceeds benefit the Pregnancy, Parenting and Adoption Services of Catholic Charities North Dakota.

Tickets on sale now! Get Involved! Contact Sarah Ries at 701.235.4457 or sries@ catholiccharitiesnd.org for more info on donating a quilt, purse or any other item for the Auction, becoming a committee member or sponsor of this great event!

10–13

USA Gymnastics Championships

701.365.8868

www.region4gymnstics.com

Top-level gymnasts from 7 State Regions will compete at the Fargodome for an opportunity to qualify for the 2014 Jr. Olympic National Championships.

10

Safe Kids

701.780.1856

www.safekidsgf.com

Did you know that 4 out 5 car seats are used incorrectly? Could your child's be one of them? Safe Kids Grand Forks, in partnership with Altru Health System and Rydell GM Auto Center, offers a monthly car seat check-up event on the second Thursday of each month. This event is from 4pm-7pm, free and no appointments are necessary. Come to Rydell's and certified car seat technicians will check on your seat and ensure your children are riding safely.

10

Teen Filmmakers Awards Night

www.plainsart.org

Catch some red carpet action at this party and special screening of films produced by talented young filmmakers ages 14 to 18. Films are no longer than one minute in length and audience members will vote for their favorite films. Winning filmmakers will be awarded cash prizes. Enjoy from 7pm-9pm at the Plains Art Museum [704 First Ave N,

11

Riding on Angels’ Wings

Fundraiser

218.359.0007

www.ridingonangelswings.org

Head to the Hartl Building at the Red River Valley Fairgrounds and support Riding on Angels' Wings mission to enrich the quality of life for individuals with special needs through equine assisted activities and therapy delivered in a safety-oriented, family-centered atmosphere. The fun starts at 6pm. Tickets can be purchased by calling 218.359.0007.

12

Gigantic Rummage Sale

701.433.5360

www.wfparks.org

Over 175 vendors will be selling antiques, crafts, collectibles, closeout items, and garage sale items at the Veterans Memorial Arena [1201 7th Ave E, West Fargo], 7am-2pm. Free parking. To register for a booth please contact the park office. Concessions will be available. $1 admission [17 & under free].

12 & 23

CPR for Family & Friends

701.234.5570

www.sanfordhealth.org

Participants will learn the ABCs of CPR, how to manage airway obstruction, and will receive an American Heart Association participation card. 6pm-8pm. Pre-registration is necessary.

15

Kids Are Our Business Breakfast

701.293.7273

www.raccfm.com

Join the Rape and Abuse Crisis Center for breakfast at the Ramada Plaza Suites in Fargo at 7:30am & help out a great cause. Seating is limited so call today for ticket information! Table & Event Sponsorships available. Pre-registration encouraged.

15

Our Family is Having a Baby!

701.234.5570

www.sanfordhealth.org

Designed for "brothers and sisters to be" of the age 3 to 7 years to aid in adjusting to the addition of a new baby in the family. The class includes: characteristics and actions of a newborn, feeding the new baby, care of a newborn using demonstrations, doll play and a tour of the Family Birth Center. One or both parents should accompany kids to class at Sanford Auditorium [801 Broadway North, Fargo] from 6:30pm-8pm. Preregistration is required.

16

HAIR

www.fargodome.com

The Public Theater’s new Tony Award winning production is an electric celebration on stage! This musical is about a group of young Americans searching for peace and

event calendar | april

love in a turbulent time. Showtime: 7:30pm. Please note: HAIR contains adult content.

16

Training to be Tremendous

701.277.9240

www.redriverzoo.org

There are many reasons why zoo animals are trained. From 3:15pm-4:45pm, visit and discover how the Red River Valley Zoo [4255 23rd Ave S, Fargo] keeps their animals healthy through training and what techniques are used. Meet the Zoo Veterinarian and practice your skills with real blow darts, too.

17

Fantastic Fours and Fives

218.284.3400

communityed.moorheadschools.org

Children grow up fast, so come spend this precious time with your child as you laugh, sing, read, and play games. This class is for kiddos who will be attending kindergarten in the Fall of 2014 and their parents. It meets six Thursdays [Apr. 17th & 24th, May 1st, 8th, 15th & 22nd] from noon-2pm at Probstfield [2410 14th St S, Moorhead]. $48 fee [$42 for Moorhead School District residents].

17

Car Seat 101 for Expectant

Parents

701.234.5570

www.sanfordhealth.org

Are your car seats installed correctly? Don't take the chance! This class is designed for expectant parents and focuses on infant car seats for newborns. Make an appointment be at the Sanford Auditorium [801 Broadway, Fargo] between 6:30pm8pm. Space is limited. Pre-registration is necessary.

18 & 19

Easter Eggstravaganza

701.232.6102

www.childrensmuseum-yunker.org

Meet the Easter Bunny. Hop on over to The Extraordinary Egg Hunt at 11am, 1pm, & 3pm. Spring crafts, live chicks, and tons of other great family activities at the Children’s Museum at Yunker Farm [1201 28th Ave N, Fargo] starting at 10am.

23

WF Moms On The Run

www.momsontherun.com

Tonight’s the night! The start of West Fargo Moms On The Run at Rendezvous Park [1055 32nd Ave W, West Fargo]. Join this group of ladies/moms for fitness, fun & friendship. For more info and to register, visit their website. Save $10 with the code ‘MomsMag10’.

25, 26 & 27

KEM Shrine Circus

701.772.7125

www.theralph.com

The KEM Shrine Circus returns to Ralph Engelstad Arena for three days of fun for all ages. Friday 3pm & 7pm; Saturday 10am, 2pm & 7pm; Sunday 2pm & 6pm. Tickets are FREE for all children through 8th grade [with accompanying adult] and $14 for adults at the door [$12 pre-sale].

26

B.L.A.S.T Babysitter's Day Camp

701.364.1704

www.fmambulance.com

The initial course for teens and pre-teens on the responsibilities of caring for children. They will learn CPR and first aid for children, as well as diaper-changing techniques. They will also learn when to call 911 and what will happen if they do need emergency

assistance. The course is designed for young babysitters ages 11–15. Limited space. Register online.

26

Party for the Planet

701.277.9240

www.redriverzoo.org

An Earth Day event with activites and booths throughout the day at the Red River Valley Zoo [4255 23rd Ave S, Fargo] from 10am-5pm.

27

Unraveled Crafters

701.476.5977

www.fargolibrary.org

All interested crafters are invited to the Dr. James Carlson Library [2801 32nd Ave S, Fargo], 1pm-3pm, for some unraveled fun! If you are new to knitting or crocheting, they'll teach you!

26

Running for the Ribbons

kolling0129@yahoo.com

www.prayforgray.com

This 5k run/walk was organized in memory of a very special little girl named Morgan Kolling. With ALL PROCEEDS going to Morgan’s Wish through the Pray for Gray foundation, Morgan’s Wish helps local families affected by brain cancer. For upcoming information on race details keep checking the website.

29 Cyber Bowl

218.233.6153

www.bowlingsunset.com

Enjoy late night bowling with colored lights and music for all ages at Sunset Lanes [620 Hwy 75, Moorhead] starting at 10pm. $9/person all you can bowl.

Anne

may events

1–4

Parade of Homes

www.hbafm.com

Check out some of the beautiful homes available to tour in the FM area noon5pm Saturday and Sunday, and 4pm-8pm Thursday/Friday.

3 Kite Day

701.241.8160

www.fargoparks.com

Come show off your kite-flying skills at Ed Klapp Park [2801 32nd Ave S, Fargo], 12:30pm-3pm. Prizes will be given to winners in youth and adult categories.

5, 17, 31

B.L.A.S.T Babysitter's Day Camp

701.364.1704

www.fmambulance.com

The initial course for teens and pre-teens on the responsibilities of caring for children. They will learn CPR and first aid for children, as well as diaper-changing techniques. They will also learn when to call 911 and what will happen if they do need emergency assistance. The course is designed for young babysitters ages 11–15. Limited space. Register online.

6, 13, 20 & 27

Community Block Party

701.499.7788

www.fargoparks.com

Meet your neighbors at this fun family event

5:30pm-8pm. Sing your favorite karaoke song, play on inflatable games, take home a craft project, and get your face painted. Enjoy free food while supplies last. May 6th Courts Plus Community Fitness [3491 S University Dr, Fargo], May 13th @ Clara Barton Park [1451 6th St S, Fargo], May 20th @ Madison Park [3010 11th Ave N, Fargo], May 27th @ Osgood School Park [5400 44th Ave S, Fargo].

7 & 14

Ballroom Dancing

701.293.8306

Get your groove on with the Northern Lights Ballroom Dance Club at the West Fargo VFW [308 Sheyenne St, West Fargo] at 7:30pm. Begin with a lesson followed by varienty of dancing and pizza, $5 members, $10 non-members.

8–10 Fargo Marathon

www.fargomarathon.com

This year you can Run Fargo & Rock Fargo at the 2014 Fargo Marathon! Known by thousands for being one of the fastest & friendliest races on the calendar, It also rocks like none other. It’s a race for everyone... kids, adults, walkers, and runners. Come out and experience it firsthand.

6 & 21 Car Seat 101 for Expectant Parents

701.234.5570

www.sanfordhealth.org

This "Baby's First Ride" class focuses on infant car seats for newborns. Parents, grandparents, and other caregivers are encouraged to attend. We recommend attending this class during the 6-7 months of pregnancy, but welcome during any month of pregnancy. Participants are encouraged to bring their car seat, if they have already bought one, however, it is not necessary. Make an appointment and be at the Sanford Auditorium [801 Broadway North, Fargo] between 6:30pm-8pm. Space is limited. Pre-registration is necessary.

Anything Goes Sale

www.aleruscenter.com

The Region's largest Garage Sale, flea market, swap meet is coming to the Alerus Center [1200 42nd St S, Grand Forks]. Be the first to snag all the best deals during early bird specials from 7am-8am with a $5 admittance fee. Regular $2 fee from 8am-2pm. 10

Junk Market

701.356.6600

www.beingecochic.com

Head to the Red River Valley Fairgrounds –Hartl Ag Building [1805 West Main Ave, West Fargo], 8am-5pm, and look for treasures to take home as you browse repurposed furniture, vintage décor & handmade crafts. Rain or shine. It will be a good time.

Happy Mom’s Day!

Enjoy your day…all day!

11

Moms Day at the Zoo

www..redriverzoo.org

Celebrate Mom at the Red River Valley Zoo [4255 23rd Ave S, Fargo], take her out for a special day from 10am-7pm. All Mamas receive free admission!

12 & 19

CPR/AED – Heartsaver

701.364.1704

www.fmambulance.com

This course covers basic adult, child, and infant CPR plus how to use an AED [Automated External Defibrillator]. Class starts at 7pm and is held at F-M Ambulance Service [2215 18th St S, Fargo]. $50 fee.

13

Storybook Science

218.284.3400

www.moorheadschools.org

For parents and kiddos birth to entering kindergarten, connect a familiar story with a science activity. The class is based on the book ”Planting a Rainbow" by Lois Ehlert. Class runs from 6pm-7:30pm at Probstfield room 311 [2410 14th St S, Moorhead], $6 [$5 reduced fee for Moorhead School District residents].

14

Hershey Track Meet

701.241.8160

www.fargoparks.com

It’s the District State Qualifying Track and Field Meet for boys and girls ages 9-14 as of December 31, 2013. Events include: 50, 100, 200, and 400-meter dash, 4 x 100-meter relay, 800 and 1600-meter run, standing long jump and softball throw. Head out to Fargo South High Track [2001 17th Ave S, Fargo] for a 5pm check-in and 6pm start time. Pre-registration deadline is May 10th. The first two places in each event will advance to the Hershey State Track Meet.

17

Nature Adventure

701.499.7788

www.fargoparks.com

Bring the family out for a fun evening outdoors at Trollwood Park, 6pm-8:30pm. This is a FREE event with hands-on cooking, crafts, games & nature activities.

18

Summer Grind

701.499.7788

www.fargoparks.com

The Summer Grind Exhibition at Dike West

event calendar | may

[310 4th St S, Fargo] provides divisions for 13 & under and 14 & up participants. Participants are required to wear a helmet and should bring their own skateboard. Prizes will be given to participants in each division. Registration begins at 4:30pm with a start time of 5pm.

18

Magic Tree House Book Club

701.241.1495

www.fargolibrary.org

Kiddos in grades 1-4 are invited to explore with Jack and Annie at the Fargo Public Library Carlson Branch [2801 32nd Ave S, Fargo]. Enjoy discussions, activities, games, crafts, and snacks. Session is from 2pm-3pm and FREE pre-registration is required.

19

Swing into Summer Safety & Fun

www.scheelsarena.com

Head to Scheels Arena [5225 31st Ave S, Fargo] from 5pm-7pm for this free community event that includes multiple interactive stations for kids to learn about safety, health, and staying active before heading into summer. Door prizes will be drawn for kids who visit each station. Stations include free bike tune-up, obstacle courses, and much more.

19 Women’s Health Conference

www.womens-healthconference.com

Ramada Plaza Suites, Fargo Head to the Ramada Plaza Suites [1635 42nd St S, Fargo] and give yourself the gift of one day to join in activity and conversation focused on wellness, nutrition, and fitness. Continue in confidence with tools for a stronger, healthier, happier you! Register online today!

26

FM Redhawks Home Opener

701.235.6161

www.fmredhawks.com

Get to Newman Field and catch the home opener for the FM Redhawks as they take on the Sioux Falls Canaries.

26

Memorial Day

Remember those we’ve lost and those who gave their lives for us and our country.

Red River Valley Foster/Adopt Coalition

june events

2 Outdoor Pools Open

www.fargoparks.com

All Fargo public pools open for the season at 1pm.

2

Lil’ Fisherman Derby

701.499.6060

www.fargoparks.com

Bring your rod to Dike East [100 2nd St S, Fargo] and have fun trying to land a big one! The day will start with a fishing clinic, 5pm-6pm. Then, put your skills to the test in the fishing derby, 6pm-7:30pm, with an awards presentation to follow. This is a FREE event for kiddos 15 and younger, adult supervision is recommended for the derby.

3, 10 & 17

Community Block Party

701.499.6060

www.fargoparks.com

Meet your neighbors at this fun family event 5:30pm-8pm. Sing your favorite karaoke song, play on inflatable games, take home a craft project, and get your face painted. Enjoy free food while supplies last. June 3th Jefferson School Park [1904 4th Ave S, Fargo], June 10th Trollwood Park [3664 Elm St N, Fargo], June 17th Village West Park with Dog Park [4415 9th Ave Circle S, Fargo]

4-7 RibFest 2013

www.fargoribfest.com

Great food, live entertainment & fun for the whole family.

4 & 18 Car Seat 101 for Expectant

Parents

701.234.5570

www.sanfordhealth.org

This "Baby's First Ride" class focuses on infant car seats for newborns. Parents, grandparents, and other caregivers are encouraged to attend. We recommend attending this class during the 6-7 months of pregnancy, but welcome during any month of pregnancy. Participants are encouraged to bring their car seat, if they have already bought one, however it is not necessary. Make an appointment and be at the Sanford Auditorium [801 Broadway North, Fargo] between 6:30pm-8pm. Space is limited. Pre-registration is necessary.

5

Cruisin Broadway Kick-Off

701.364.9867

www.downtownfargo.com

Explore Historic Downtown Fargo along Broadway with all the classics from 5pm-9pm.

5, 12, 19 & 26 Park It!

701.499.6060

www.fargoparks.com

Meet the Xcellent Art teacher at the park & create take-home arts & crafts 1pm-4pm. This is a FREE event. June 5th @ Elephant Park [100 19th Ave N, Fargo], June 12th @ Clara Barton Park [1451 6th St S, Fargo], June 19th @ Roosevelt Park [1220 9th St N, Fargo], & June 26th @Bennett Park [1900 58th Ave S, Fargo].

6

Midwest Kid Fest & Teddy Bear Parade

701.241.8160

www.fargoparks.com

Island Park [302 7th St S, Fargo] will be filled with music, laughter & bright colors 11am-7pm as children play & learn. Bring a teddy bear to the Dike West parking lot and begin the day with a march in the parade starting at 10:30am. All activities are free!

9 Trout Fest

701.499.6060

www.fargoparks.com

Explore North Woodhaven Pond [4300 44th Ave S, Fargo] and learn about trout and fly fishing! Trout Fest is for anyone who

enjoys fishing. Youth, 15 and under, will learn about fly fishing, casting, entomology, conservation, equipment demos, and much more. An awards presentation will follow the derby. Registration: 5:30pm. Derby: 6:15pm-7:45pm. FREE.

9

Fargo Rock Concert

www.fargoparks.com

Punk, Rock, Metal! Two bands! Three different nights! All ages welcome at Dike West [310 4th St S, Fargo] from 7pm-9pm. Get your friends and come out to see the areas up-and-coming musicians. These shows are free and all ages are welcome to attend.

10 & 24 RiverArts

218.299.5340

www.cityofmoorhead.com/parks

Celebrate summer at RiverArts in Memorial Park [210 8th St N, Moorhead] from 5:30pm-8pm! Bring the whole family for an outdoor concert, horse-drawn carriage rides, shopping, farmers market & kid’s activities. FREE admission.

12

Corks & Canvas Art & Wine

Walk

701.364.9867

www.downtownfargo.com

Sample select wines as you stroll through downtown Fargo businesses while you enjoy great art and witness artists working live.

14 & 15

Grand Cities Art Fest

701.772.3710

www.novac.org

The Annual Grand Cities Art Fest is once again being held in the downtown areas of Grand Forks & East Grand Forks. Over 150 local, regional, and national artists will be displaying their works on Saturday 10am-6pm & Sunday 10am-5pm. Food vendors will also be selling mouthwatering items such as hot fresh-cut fries, pulled pork sandwiches, corn dogs, kettle corn, Italian Ice & cold lemonade. Each day there will be shows on the performance stage in East Grand Forks and Town Square in Grand Forks.

14 & 15

Art & Wine Walk

701.772.3710

www.novac.org

Sample select wines as you stroll through downtown Grand Forks and East Grand

Forks businesses while you enjoy great art and witness artists working live.

15

Happy Dad’s Day!

18

Wild West Jamboree

701.433.5360

www.wfparks.org

Enjoy a Rootin’ Tootin’ good time of activities including music with Silverado, free carriage rides, gunny sack races, barrel car rides, a petting zoo, roping demos, face painting & other western games at Rendezvous Park [1055 32nd Ave W, West Fargo] 5:30pm-7:30pm. Pony rides will be offered for $2. Hotdogs, chips, and beverage will be available for $1. Bring your lawn chair or blanket.

25, 26, 28 & 29

Cinderella Kids

701.235.6778

www.fmct.org

Cinderella dreams of going to the Prince’s ball. She gets her wish courtesy of her Fairy Godmother, only to leave a glass slipper behind when the clock struck midnight. The FM Community Theatre [333 4th St S, Fargo] brings this classic to life. Show times vary so be sure to check online for

schedule details. Tickets: Adult & Senior $10, Students & Children $5.

21

Doctor Doolittle Day

701.277.9240

www.redriverzoo.org

Learn all about Zoo veterinary care. Fun interactive booths throughout the Red River Zoo [4255 23rd Ave S, Fargo] including a teddy bear clinic, blow dart competition, and animal encounters. Bring a favorite plush animal and receive FREE admission from 10am-7pm. 23

Park Movie Night

701.499.6076

www.fargoparks.com

Come to Island Park [302 7th St S, Fargo] at dusk for some fun in the park at the annual Summer Movie Night! The fun starts when the sun goes down with a movie with free Pepsi and popcorn while supplies last.

27

King Aruthur’s Quest

www.wfparks.org

Missoula Children’s Theatre is the nation’s largest touring children’s theatre and will be at Cheney Middle School [825 17th Ave E, West Fargo] presenting King Arthur’s

Quest with a twist on the classic story that you know and love. 2pm-3:30pm and 4:30pm-6pm show times.

27 & 28

Midwest Viking & Scandinavian Festival

218.299.5452

www.hcscconline.org

Celebrate Nordic culture from ancient times at the Hjemkomst Center [202 1st Ave N, Moorhead]. Enjoy an outdoor gathering of craftsmen, musicians, and history enthusiasts who are bringing the Viking Age back to life. There will be re-enactors dressed in period clothing, cooking over an open fire, glass bead making, coin-striking, silver-smithing, wood carving, pottery making and even a battle demonstration. $10 per day for Adults, $5 ages 13-17, and kiddos 12 and under free with a paid adult. Enjoy two festivals for the price of one!

25-29

Grand Forks County Fair

218.773.7114

www.grandforksfair.com

A large midway full of fun rides, there will also be 4H exhibits, dog and horse shows, baking contests, pie and ice cream socials, concerts, demolition derby & much more!

preneur

For single mom Hollie Nelson [36] finding something she could call her own and at the same time would offer flexibility for herself and nine-year-old daughter, Gracie, came after she decided to leave her position as an Occupational Therapist She began looking into franchises for women because she knew she would need support When she found Mainstream Boutique Hollie was immediately drawn to the corporate headquarters being in Minnesota and its established presence in North Dakota, with a store already open in Bismarck She was able to visit many of the stores to see firsthand what Mainstream Boutique had to offer After liking what she saw and conversations with many of the other franchise owners, Hollie felt Mainstream Boutique would be a great fit for her little family and the FM area So in June 2013, with several people in her life encouraging and cheering her on [which Hollie said she needed] she opened the doors to her own store

photos: rialee photography | ria czichotzki

hollie

where did the name mainstream boutique come from?

Mainstream Boutique is a franchise that began in 1991 as a direct-sales company selling unique apparel and accessories in homes and businesses all over the Twin Cities. The idea came from Marie DeNicola, founder, President, and CEO of the company. Over the years Mainstream has evolved and kept up with the ever-changing fashion trends. Mainstream Boutique now has over 30 stores in 11 states nationwide. Its corporate headquarters and main retail store are located in Apple Valley, Minnesota.

in three words, how do you best describe your boutique?

Affordable, friendly, and trend-forward.

what brands/designers do you carry?

Currently I carry Dear John and Miss Me denim. We offer styles from many different vendors, which provides our customers with variety.

what is the most unique product in your boutique?

Our inventory moves fast, so to pick one unique item is tough. I feel we offer top-notch customer service, which makes for a great shopping experience.

what is your most popular item/product?

Going into spring, maxi skirts and maxi dresses continue to be popular items. Overall, our Dear John jeggings, basics, and scarves top the list!

who is your target market?

Our clientele is all ages and all sizes. The majority would be ages 25–50.

what sizes do you keep in stock?

We offer a variety of sizes, with each vendor fitting a bit differently. We offer styles to size 14. do you ever envision expanding to another market?

No, I’m very happy focusing my energy on Fargo! With a store already in Bismarck and one newly

opened store in Minot, I anticipate more stores opening across the Midwest.

how would you describe your support system?

I gain support from many different people, including my parents, boyfriend, friends, and staff. I feel the franchise itself is always there to answer my questions and provide me with tools to run my business.

what is necessary to keep your day running smoothly?

My iPhone calendar with alerts!

how do you keep clients and prospective customers up on your store trends?

I post pictures of new items daily on our Facebook page, Mainstream Boutique Fargo, ND. We are always happy to ship items, too!

what advice would you give other women considering the mompreneur title?

There is always a lot to consider, but I would tell them the same thing I tell my daughter…don’t let fear stop you.

what has being your own boss meant for your family?

It means a lot to me that Gracie has been able to be part of this whole process and easily makes herself at home when she walks into the store. I have an amazing staff, which has allowed me the opportunity to spend more time with her.

if we peeked inside your closet, what might we be surprised to find?

A pair of magenta suede heels! Love them and hope to wear them someday!

what keeps you motivated?

My daughter, my staff who help me keep a fresh outlook on the store, and the other franchise owners, as well as our CEO, Marie DeNicola, who all help me bring the best items into the store and remind me to keep a positive attitude. When a customer leaves the store happy with her purchase that is great motivation.

what is your strongest mompreneur skill? Flexibility. I always have an idea of how I think my day will go, but frequently I need to change the course. what single fashion item should every mom/woman have in her closet?

A great-fitting pair of jeans.

what is something we might not know about you?

Two of my favorites are black jellybeans and Adam Sandler…we all can use a good laugh!

away from the store, what might we find you doing?

Spending time with my daughter running between her activities, shopping, movies, and the outdoors. I am looking forward to spending time at the lake this summer!

Mainstream Boutique

2603 Kirsten Ln. S. #103, Fargo

701.356.6687

http://fargo.mainstreamboutique.com

Monday-Friday 10am–6pm

Saturday 10am–5pm

timeless images photography

timeless images photography

tiny sprout portraits

michelle warren photography

exposures by j.linnea

tiny sprout portraits

michelle warren photography

rialee photography

exposures by j.linnea

shutter bug

story by | dr. susan mathison

Seeing my child grow and change so quickly makes me think of my own mortality and the aging process. As Grant seems to get taller overnight, I add inches in places I’d rather not discuss. Some of my reflections come from a maternal perspective. I want to feel vital and energetic as I play and parent my son over the next baker’s dozen or so years. But what is aging for me? And what about my friends, family, and patients? How do we walk that path together with grace?

In our culture many perceive that aging is something to be fought like a war. This is aging as a win-or-lose proposition, with our beauty and value in the world at stake. Others fight back against this perceived societal

slight, and propose we accept aging and just say no to hair color, hormones, heels, and more. Aging “gracefully” means something different for each one of us, yet can be full of judgment of ourselves and others.

Or perhaps there is a middle ground in middle age and beyond…to be the best we can be. This is part practicality and part philosophy. The Serenity Prayer provides a framework for discussion: God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; the courage to change the things I can; and the wisdom to know the difference.

Accept…that there will be wrinkles, sags, and age spots that mark us like uninvited tattoos. Some can be treated, some can’t. Sometimes the price is too high, financially,

reflections on aging gracefully

personally, and emotionally. There will be aches and pains, losses and sorrow. But this doesn’t mean that we no longer deserve pleasure, or can make excuses not to move or exchange self-neglect for self-love and self-care. We all contend with heredity, though the expression of our genes can be influenced by healthy choices. Luck can change in an instant. Bad things can happen to really good people. How we move through these experiences defines us.

Change…our lifestyle choices. It is never too late to make better choices with our food, our movement, our style, and our mindset.

Nutrition has the highest impact, with a focus on eating whole, fresh foods, and avoiding processed foods that come in a box or have unpronounceable ingredients. Other tenets include eating from the rainbow of vegetables and fruits, especially leafy greens and cruciferous vegetables like broccoli and cabbage. Avoid refined sugars and flours. Eat lean, unprocessed meat and fish. Make water your primary beverage. Have fun in the kitchen, and simply made, beautiful food can be prepared and enjoyed in less time than you might imagine.

Movement is not just for the gym. Add more steps to your life and sit less. Dance, walk, and take the stairs, stretch. Exercise will usually help with aches and pains, but talk to your doctor if something seems out of whack. Remember you are never too old to try a new sport or take a new class.

Physical touch is an important part of nourishing our bodies, too. A facial, a pedicure, or a massage can be considered self-care. Sex doesn’t have to become a distant memory. Time magazine reported that 90% of French women enjoy a healthy sex life as they get older, compared to only 60% of American women.

What’s your personal style? If you don’t know, work with a professional or enlist the help of an honest friend whose look you admire. Edit your wardrobe to classy items for everyday and special occasions that make you look and feel great.

Enlist some help when it comes to makeup as well. Too much makeup can accentuate problems instead of camouflaging. Simplify your holdings and clear out the items that have lived in your makeup drawer for years. Re-create your routine. Invest in good-quality skin care products that protect and refresh your skin.

Beauty choices range from total organic to extreme makeovers full of nips and tucks. There is a lot of middle ground between each. I can help with the tools of my trade…the lasers and needles and occasionally the knife.

Each choice can be born of self-love and empowerment or as a result of poor relationship to self. It can be difficult to discern, but I try to assess the reasons behind a cosmetic procedure. Is the person at a good place in life or is this a reaction to a stressor? Mindset has a lot to do with overall satisfaction with a procedure, so it’s to my advantage as well to look deeper.

Optimism plays a role in aging gracefully. Positive people are less prone to mental decline and cardiovascular disease. They manage stress through mindfulness, gratitude, deep breathing, good sleep, and exercise. Lastly, grant us the wisdom to know the difference. Thankfully, our life experiences can build confidence that we can manage what lies ahead. Despite disappointments, our light needn’t be dimmed nor our spirit extinguished. The best thing about getting older is that you don’t worry about what people say. You get to focus your energy on what matters most to you.

Humor can help too. Comedienne and author Stephanie Lessing writes, “Life is the longest running gag in history, and getting older is the funniest thing that will ever happen to you, so you might as well learn how to laugh in your own face. It's only going to get puffier.” Share

a few of your own foibles. You will find that you are not alone, and that laughter does make things better.

Some famous women seem to grow more beautiful and more interesting and more powerful and more wise over time, like Helen Mirren, Meryl Streep, Judy Dench, Betty White, Susan Sarandon, Lauren Hutton, Ellen DeGeneres, Jamie Lee Curtis, even Hilary Clinton—regardless of your political views. Wouldn’t it be nice to add the names of more teachers, business leaders, and politicians to this list?

It has less to do with how you look and everything to do with how you feel and act and live. We may say goodbye to certain aspects of our physical beauty as we age, but we say hello to the transcendent beauty of heart, mind, and spirit as we are true to our authentic selves.

Dr. Mathison is a Stanford educated, triple-board-certified physician and the founder of the Catalyst Medical Center. She’s an expert on integrative health, the art of beauty, soul-saving self-care, social entrepreneurship, and the future of medicine. While her busy medical practice is her main focus, her blog www.PositivelyBeautiful.com and weekly newspaper column have earned her 30,000+ readers and social media fans locally and around the world. Dr. Mathison champions women physicians as a coach and consultant, reflecting what’s possible for “modern medicine women” by leveraging technology and innovative business models to serve patients in new ways. Catalyst Medical Center is an innovative, integrative, multi-specialty clinic that provides dermatology, lasers, clinical spa treatments, as well as allergy and sinus treatments, hearing health, ENT, and sleep medicine in a holistic environment. She currently resides in Fargo with her farmer/broker/auctioneer husband, Steve, and 6-year-old son Grant.

what to do, what to do…

summer camps & activities 2014

FAITH

FaHoCha Bible Camp An interdenominational camp nestled beside South Lake Washington, 25 miles East of New Rockford, ND, we are known for our great food, fun, family like atmosphere, focus on faith, and affordability. We offer a great life-changing adventure that will create many wonderful memories while meeting new friends. Multiple sessions offer an opportunity for everyone to attend: Varsity Camp [ages 16–18, June 8–13, $139], Middler Camp 1 [ages 10–11, June 15–20, $139], Jr. Varsity Camp [ages 14–15, June 22–27, $139], Beginner Camp 1 [ages 8–9, June 29–July 1, $60], Middler Camp 2 [ages 10–11, July 6–11, $139], Jr. High Camp [ages 12–13, July 13–18, $139], Beginner Camp 2 [ages 8–9, July 20–23, $85]. Please contact 701.674.3211, jay@ fahocha.org or go to www.fahocha.org for more info.

Inspiration Point Christian Camp + Retreat Center Located on Spitzer Lake, 90 minutes southeast of Fargo/Moorhead, Inspiration Point offers an action-packed Christian camp experience for students in grades 1–12. Inspiration Point is known for its well-trained staff dedicated to quality service and care, modern accommodations, and excellent food service. Family camps are also available. Register online at www.ipoint. org or call 218.998.4572 for more information.

SPORT

American Gold Gymnastics Offering classes for kids ages 18 months to 18 years. Classes develop physical awareness, work on coordination, balance, listening skills, fine and gross motor skills, and incorporate lots of fun! Summer classes run June 2–26 & July 7–31 with registration starting April 22nd. For more info, www.americangoldgymnastics.com or 701.280.0400.

British Soccer Camp Offering Introductory to Advanced Camps, July 21st-25th for kids 3 years to 16 years old at the Kennedy Fields [4501 42nd St S, Fargo]. Coaching provided by British soccer coaches, 1-hour to all-day options, free jersey and ball, lots of fun! Register January 10th–June 5th. For more information visit www.fargosoccer.org contact Matt Noah, matt@fargosoccer.org or 701.866.1949

Dragon Diving Camp Located on the MSUM campus in Moorhead, MN, divers will work on all five categories and will improve their 1-meter skills, experience 3-meter diving and participate in extensive trampoline and dryland training. Two sessions to choose from [July 27–31 or August 3–8, note that High School female North Dakota divers are not allowed to participate in week 2 of camp due to ND State High School League Rules], Commuter [All Meals] $375 or Resident [Overnight, All Meals] $475. Register by April 1st and take $50 off the camp registration fee! Registration open until camp is full. For more information, contact John Schmidt at john.schmidt@mnstate. edu, 218.477.2313 or visit www.mnstate.edu/swim.

Dragon Swim Camp Improve your swimming skills June 8–13 or June 15–20 on the MSUM campus in Moorhead, MN. Each Camp is broken into two groups: Stroke Technique Group [Younger and less experienced swimmers in this group will focus on drills and skills to improve all four competitive strokes plus starts and turns during two pool sessions each day. Campers in this group may be resident or commuters] or Advanced Technique & Conditioning Group [Older and more experienced swimmers in this group will work on the same skills as the Stroke Technique Group, and will have four additional individualized swim training sessions throughout the week]. Camp Fee: Commuter [All Meals] $350, Resident [Stroke Technique - Overnight, All Meals] $450, Resident [Advanced Technique and Conditioning—Overnight, All Meals] $475. Register by March 15th and take $50 off the camp registration fee! Registration open until camp is full. For more information, contact Katie Diiro at diiro@mnstate.edu, 218-477-2313 or visit www.mnstate.edu/swim.

Miracle Hockey Camp

The Men's and Women's Concordia hockey coaches are putting on a youth camp at the Moorhead Sports Center. Insports foundation is sponsoring a group of young hockey players from Northern Minneapolis to be a part of this camp, which will include ice time, workouts, fun activities, NHL present and past stars, and celebrity/charity golf tournament. Camp will take place July 9–11. Players will be coming from New Directions Hockey program out of Northern Minneapolis. These players play for the love of the game on the outdoor rinks in the Twin Cities, and get equipment donated to them from other organizations. Any hotels or restaurants in the Moorhead area that would like to donate their services to help sponsor players please visit insportsfoundation.org.

SELF

Driver's Education Learn the rules of the road at the Oak Grove North Campus [124 N Terrace, Fargo] May 27–30. $125 fee for classroom instruction. Behind-the-wheel instruction can be individually arranged for an additional $225 fee. For more info visit Students/Summer Programs at www.oakgrovelutheran. com or email Terri Kruger at lbjog2@yahoo.com.

I AM I CAN Summer Camp for Girls 2014 marks the 24th year of the "I AM I CAN" Summer Camp for Girls, a day camp held at the Academie Agencie in downtown Fargo. This camp is designed to be a fun and learning-filled week [M-F from 10am–5pm] where the camper will develop her self-confidence and self-expression. The camp is open to girls ages 9–13, running June 23rd–27th or August 4th–8th. The seminars and events are age appropriate and include but are not limited to attitude, social graces, table etiquette, visual poise and presentation, modeling, fitness, confidence building, skincare, and wardrobe. To register call 701.235.8132 or visit academieagencie.com.

North Dakota Farmers Union Camp North Dakota Farmers Union Camp is a camp for more than just farmers. It is a leadership camp that teaches the importance of cooperation and teamwork. Campers own and operate their own coop store which is liquidated at the end of camp and all proceeds are donated to a charity. Campers play sports, swim, dance, have campfires, participate in an education project and have lots of fun. Junior Camp for grades 3-6 is available June 8–11, June 11–14, July 13–16, July 16–19, July 20–23 at Wesley Acres and June 8–11, June 11–14, July 13–16, July 16–19 at Heart Butte. Senior Camp at Heart Butte Senior Camp 1 June 16–20 grades 7–12, Senior Camp 2 June 23–27 grades 7–12, Senior Camp 3 July 7–11 grades 7–9, Senior Camp 4 July 21–25 grades 7–12, Senior Camp 5 July 28–August 1 grades 11–12, Rolling Camp August 6-9 grades 9–12. Registration starts March 1st. Junior Camp registration is $75, Senior Camp registration is $125. For more information, visit our website at ndfu.org or contact Jennifer Sundeen at jsundeen@ndfu.or or 800.366.8331 ext 107.

YMCA Busy Beavers Camp This half-day camping experience is designed just for preschoolers, ages 3–5! Each week has a fun theme sure to keep your little one engaged and learning. Camp is located at the Fercho YMCA in Fargo, and runs in four-day sessions June 9–August 15. For details, call 701.293.9622 or visit www.ymcacassclay.org/camp. Financial Assistance Is Available!

YMCA Camp Cormorant This overnight camp provides kids ages 7-15 with a summer adventure on the shores of Big Cormorant Lake, MN. Specialty camps include Horseback Riding, Ropes Course, Basketball, Adventure, Trips, and More! Weekly sessions run June 8–August 15. For details, please visit www.campcormorant. org or call 701.293.9622. Financial Assistance Is Available!

Camp Invention A summer enrichment program that ignites the imagination. Camp Invention runs from June 9-13, 9am-3:30pm 1st visit 1 at year of

at Oak Grove Lutheran School's south campus [2720 32nd Ave S, Fargo]. The camp is for students in grades 1–6, cost is $225, families that register 3 or more siblings will receive $50 off per child. Visit www.campinvention.org for more info.

College for Kids College for Kids is a summer camp program for children ages 6 to 18, held on the beautiful MSUM campus in Moorhead, MN July 14–17 and July 21–24. Expert instructors teach classes that encourage exploration, adventure and creativity while cultivating young people’s understanding and appreciation for a variety of topics. Session themes include arts and crafts, fitness and sports, nature, science and technology, and space exploration. Registration is available February 17–July 9. For more information visit www.mnstate.edu/collegeforkids or contact Shireen Alemadi at cfk@mnstate.edu.

Microsoft DigiGirlz High Tech Camp Microsoft is proud to offer technology programs specifically for youth. One of our signature programs, DigiGirlz High Tech Camp for girls, works to dispel stereotypes of the high-tech industry. We continue to look for opportunities to give young people a chance to experience firsthand what it is like to develop cutting-edge technology. During the camp session the girls listen to executive speakers, participate in technology tours and demonstrations, network, and learn through hands-on experience in workshops. Established in 2000, the camp program continues to grow and evolve. For more information and session details, visit http:// www.microsoft. com/en-us/diversity/programs/digigirlz/ hightechcamp.aspx

YMCA Camp Koda This activities and exploration day camp now offers a new, fun, and unique experience each week with themes like Around the World, Ooee Gooey Science, Sports Galore, Wet n’ Wild, and Safari. Ages 6–11. Camp is located at the Fercho YMCA in Fargo, and runs in weekly sessions June 9–August 15. For details, call 701.293.9622 or visit www. ymcacassclay.org/camp. Financial Assistance Is Available!

dyslexia…

story by | haley’s hope

Monday morning arrives…your daughter says she has a headache and a little stomach ache. The thermometer reveals no fever, and you tell her to go to school but to call if she doesn’t feel better.

Once at school she is reluctant for you to leave…again. You see the tears starting and assure her she’s okay. She takes her seat telling herself “today will be better.” She tries really hard to “pay attention” and listen to what the teacher is saying. Not long into the day, she is confused and unable to keep up with what’s being asked of her or the notes she needs to take. When asked to answer questions or read out loud, she tries

could it be?

to hide in her desk, hoping she won’t be called on; but she is. Her answer is wrong, she misreads the words, and takes a long time to get through the paragraph, while her classmates snicker.

It’s time to work on the day’s assignment. While others dive into their work, she struggles, trying to figure out what she’s supposed to do. Not wanting to ask the teacher again, she fakes writing and reading to make it look like she is busy. Exhausted at the end of the day, she knows she needs to take work home to complete. As she packs her backpack her heart is heavy with the thought of doing her homework, knowing she has to have it all done by tomorrow.

Once home she avoids starting her homework. Constant reminders from mom and dad add to her anxiety and feeling like a failure. Again, not remembering exactly what she’s supposed to do, she completes the pages the best she can and finally gets to bed.

Another day down, but tomorrow it starts all over again. She’s starting to hate school. You know there is something more, but what’s really going on? Could it be dyslexia?

Dyslexia is an inherited condition that makes it difficult to read, write, and spell. It can affect oral speech, auditory processing, reading, and written expression. According to a Yale study, one in five people, both children and adults, suffer from some form of dyslexia. Consider a classroom of 20 children; statistically at least four of those children will have some form of dyslexia.

dyslexia or not?

Dyslexia is a result of the way our brain processes information, but it can often be misdiagnosed or the child’s struggles are initially blamed on lack of exposure to the written word, Attention Deficit Disorder [ADD], and hearing or eyesight issues. Figuring out why an individual struggles with dyslexia is often very confusing for the parent, teacher, and physician. Because a child will typically do well in some areas while struggling in others, most specifically reading and spelling, they will often be tagged as lazy or inattentive.

Often the first steps to help correct the issues will be getting an eye exam, having a hearing test, and being assessed for ADD. While ADD is a comorbid diagnosis [a disease or condition that occurs at the same time as another illness], determining exactly what is creating the most interference with their learning environment is critical. Do we need to look at the dyslexia first and then the ADD? Or is the ADD overpowering the dyslexia? Most often, once the proper training is done for the learning issues, the ADD signs start to go away. Also, dyslexia is NOT an eyesight or hearing issue. It is a brain-processing issue that ranges from mild, moderate, severe, to profound. Most of the time individuals who are in the mild or moderate categories don’t even realize their struggles may be due to this learning difference. They often work extra hard to survive their school or work environment, but never really “get ahead.” For

someone who is severe to profoundly dyslexic, daily life is a struggle. Imagine trying to “get through” each day while there is something constantly holding you back. What is second nature for some seems like living in a foreign country to those with dyslexia.

what does dyslexia look like?

Warning signs of dyslexia can appear as early as one year old. Children may have speech delays, and when they do start talking, they say cute words like basketi [spaghetti], hamager [hamburger], or hekinopter [helicopter]. As they get older, the ability to tie their own shoes, memorize the alphabet, their phone number, and address are difficult. Dyslexia is commonly known for reversing letters, especially the b and d, but many children will do this through the first grade. If reversals continue after first grade, this can be seen as a warning sign. Other warning signs can include those listed on page 46, however, keep in mind that these are only signs. Much more information is required to successfully diagnose dyslexia. These listed warning signs represent just some of the pieces of the puzzle that a parent can refer to as a guide for early intervention.

is there help?

There is no cure for dyslexia; it is something that will always be a part of a person’s life. However, with the proper intervention, individuals can overcome the difficulties of dyslexia and strive to reach their dreams and goals. Haley’s Hope [1150 Prairie Parkway, West Fargo] is a not-for-profit organization that provides consultations, screenings, one-on-one tutoring, advocacy, assistive technology training, and assistance with 504/ IEP accommodations for the school setting.

Haley’s Hope tutors are trained in a research-based Orton-Gillingham tutoring program, which has been proven to be the only method to successfully overcome dyslexia. They are also dedicated to helping individuals navigate the world of dyslexia by giving parents and children the ability to become strong advocates for the way they learn.

Haley’s Hope is here to help individuals embrace how dyslexia affects their lives and provide the tools to make life much easier. Contact Haley’s Hope [701.373.0397, haleys.hope@yahoo.com, or www.haleyshope.org] with any questions or concerns you may have regarding dyslexia. Education, implementation, and understanding are key to thriving with dyslexia.

signs of dyslexia

If you or your loved one has three or more of the following warning signs, learn more about dyslexia by contacting Haley’s Hope [701.373.0397 or www.haleyshope.org]

preschool

• Delayed speech

• Mixing up the sounds and syllables in long words

• Chronic ear infections

• Stuttering

• Constant confusion of left vs. right

• Late establishing a dominant hand

• Difficulty learning to tie shoes

• Trouble memorizing their address, phone number, or alphabet

• Can’t create words that rhyme

• A close relative with dyslexia

elementary school

• Dysgraphia [slow, non-automatic handwriting that is difficult to read]

• Letter or number reversals continuing past the end of first grade

• Extreme difficulty learning cursive

• Slow, choppy, inaccurate reading [guesses based on shape or context, skips or misreads prepositions [at, to, of], ignores suffixes, can’t sound out unknown words]

• Terrible speller

• Often can’t remember sight words or homonyms [their, they’re, and there]

• Difficulty telling time on a clock with hands

• Trouble with math [memorizing multiplication tables, memorizing a sequence of steps, directionality]

Lace Up for Lend A Hand!

• When speaking, difficulty finding the correct word [lots of “whatyamacallits” and “thingies,” and common sayings come out slightly twisted]

• Extremely messy bedroom, backpack, and desk

• Dreads going to school [complains of stomach aches or headaches, may have nightmares about school]

high school

• All above symptoms plus:

• Limited vocabulary

• Extremely poor written expression

• Large discrepancy between verbal skills and written compositions

• Unable to master a foreign language

• Difficulty reading printed music

• Poor grades in many classes

• May drop out of high school

adults

• Education history similar to above, plus:

• Slow reader

• May have to read a page two or three times to understand it

• Terrible speller

• Difficulty putting thoughts onto paper [dreads writing memos or letters]

• Still has difficulty with right vs. left

• Often gets lost, even in a familiar city

• Sometimes confuses b and d, especially when tired or sick source: Bright Solutions for Dyslexia, copyright 2002 by Susan rBarton.

Growing up in a small town southwest of Fargo, ND, Chad Pfaff was the little brother of two sisters and loved crackers with peanut butter and watching Scooby Doo After graduating from a class of 32 students, Chad earned a Sales, Marketing, and Management diploma from Northwest Technical College and is currently the Assistant Sales Manager for Genuine Parts Company [NAPA] Chad enjoys hunting, fishing, and racquetball One of his favorite hobbies is golfing; he admits he is not very good but still loves to play He and his wife of nine years, Stacey, make their home in Fargo with their four kiddos, Madison [18], Maggie [6], Carson [4], and Brody [1]

photos: rialee photography | lauren kupfer

my biggest claim to fame is…

I am the creator of the original Captain NAPA. best reason to be late…

there is never a good reason to be late. if my wife could throw away one thing of mine it would be… my stacks of old t-shirts.

the tool or household device i couldn’t live without…

tape measure. I always seem to be looking for one and the project is at a complete standstill until I find it.

my all-time favorite movie is… Tommy Boy. If you are selling auto parts there really isn’t any other movie.

age 39, fargo nd

the most humbling compliment i’ve been given…

the fact that my wife felt compelled to nominate me as a RAD DAD has to rank up towards the top, for sure! i can cook a mean…

frozen pizza. Stacey is the true cook in the family. The only cooking I do is either on the grill or in the microwave. our one family rule is… make it a Great Day! the station i’m always tuned into… ESPN radio.

a habit i wish i could break… falling asleep on the couch. three words that best describe me as a dad… strict, loving, and fair.

701.237.3009

Parenting Schedules

rad dad

i could blow an entire day… at the lake. Whether it is swimming, boating, or just hanging out. There is no better place to be than the lake. the greatest thrill i’ve experienced… the birth of all four of my kids. I know this sounds like a RAD DAD answer [and it probably is, a little] but it truly is something magical. people might be surprised to know i… do most of the sewing in our family. the phrase i say the most… “what the heck?”

i thrive on… competition. I always strive to be the best at what I do. i’m totally in awe of my wife when… where do I begin? It’s hard not to be in awe of a woman who works full-time and cares for three of our kids when she’s not at work. Oh yeah, did I mention that she has also found time to co-write a published text book, co-develop a game, do amateur photography, and even remembers to take the garbage to the curb on Wednesday? She is the one who keeps the Pfaff clan on track and on schedule. Plus she’s smokin’ hot and way too good for me. Without her our family would struggle to have a great day.

ranch potato salad

shared by | kari klingsporn hitterdal

People are serious about their potato salad.  I have seen some pretty heated debates over whether or not eggs or mustard should be included in the picnic staple. But I’ve never been a huge fan of regular old potato salad. So when I tasted Ranch Potato Salad at a reunion of college roommates, I knew I had to ask for the recipe for this delicious take on an old classic. To make it really easy you can use your favorite bottled ranch dressing. Or if you are looking to control salt, have some lovely fresh herbs, and a little time and patience, you can get crazy ambitious and use homemade ranch dressing! Ranch Potato Salad is a perfect new spin on the old standard for graduation parties and summer gatherings.

gather up:

3 lbs. baby red potatoes

½ lb. bacon, chopped and cooked

2 bunches of green onion, thinly sliced [use as much of the green onion as you like]

A bottle of your favorite ranch dressing

1 envelope of ranch dressing mix [optional]

salt and freshly ground pepper, to taste

how to:

1. Boil the whole potatoes in salted water until tender [about 15 minutes].

2. Allow potatoes to cool a bit, then slice in half and place in a large bowl.

3. Sprinkle with a teaspoon of salt and at least 2 teaspoons pepper, depending on your taste. For a more robust flavor, sprinkle about half of the envelope of ranch dressing mix over the potatoes.

4. Pour enough of the homemade or bottled ranch dressing over the potatoes until they are well coated.

5. Add the bacon and green onion, reserving some of each for garnish.

6. Refrigerate until ready to serve. Allow at least several hours or overnight to let the dressing soak in, checking occasionally to add more ranch as it absorbs into the potatoes.

photo: thuen studios | scott thuen

Two is better than one.

We know this to be true.

From strong partnerships comes greater programs and a healthier community. Together with the YMCA of Cass and Clay Counties, we strive to inspire healthy lifestyles by connecting people in a fun environment. Our strong focus on family nurtures our values to remain united as one.

battling the breakfast blues

story by | kari klingsporn hitterdal

Guilty mom confession #100,299…I serve my kids cereal for breakfast. A lot. This does not make me feel like a very good mom. I know the medical community says breakfast is the most important meal of the day and as a stay-at-home mom my conscience tells me I should be able to put a simple, healthy breakfast on the table regularly. But it is one of those habits that has quietly snowballed somewhat innocently over the years. When my kids were young I made them healthy breakfasts nearly every morning. Hard-boiled eggs, cheese, and fresh fruits cut to size for chubby little fingers. [Insert back-patting here.] But then school days began and the breakfast thing went totally off the rails. How do you get everyone

up, dressed, teeth brushed, baby nursed—oh, my gosh, the clock is ticking!—find the missing homework, locate matching mittens—or just two darn mittens at this point, I don’t care!—feed a homemade, healthy breakfast, and get everyone out the door before 8:00 a.m.?  Slap some cereal on the counter and call it good! So flash forward to this past fall when my kids were now all in school for the first time in a decade [insert more back-patting here] and I had a chance to do a little self-criticism, er, self-evaluation. I have kept up with dinner pretty well over the years—trying new recipes and incorporating healthy ingredients. But as a non-morning person, I have been in morning-survival mode for quite some time. Although I try to get reasonably healthy cereal for the kids to eat, I have been known to cave in the cereal

aisle in moments of grocery-shopping-with-three-kidsweakness. So since the start of this school year I have been working at doing more for my kids to get into better morning-eating routines. It isn’t perfect, but I am happy to report my children are not eating cereal every day for breakfast. Even though we are winding down the school year, here’s to getting into a good summer routine to energize long summer days, and creating habits that can follow us into next fall’s new school year!  See if any of these ideas can help you and your family get a positive and healthy start to the day.

short-order cook

This is not an option I entertain frequently, but once in a while I can motivate myself to get my morningcooking groove on. Eggs are a super-quick way to start the day. To poach or fry a few eggs for the kiddos and serve them with some whole-wheat toast doesn’t take more than a few minutes of my time. If you are an early bird with a little more time, fun morning meals can include breakfast tacos or egg and smoked salmon on bagels or whole-wheat English muffins. Oftentimes these more time-consuming meals are reserved for the weekends. My kids’ favorite breakfast egg dish happens to be the easiest. There are dozens of different names for Egg-in-a-Hole, but whatever you call them, they are good and super easy to make! Simply heat a skillet or nonstick pan over medium-low heat with a touch of butter. Cut a hole in the  bread with a round cookie cutter, plop it in the pan, crack an egg into the hole, and cook several minutes, then flip, cooking another minute or so to your liking of doneness. Easy!  Make sure to make enough so you get one, too!

do-ahead

Occasionally I am really inspired at night when the house is quiet to get ready for the next morning. The incentive for this task at 10:00 p.m. may or may not include a glass of wine, but the benefit of a smooth start to the next day is even better motivation to get the job done. Getting a head start by setting out plates, utensils, or even filling cups with juice or milk the night before so all you have to do is pull them out of the refrigerator helps shave precious minutes off the morning breakfast dash. Pre-chop fruit to serve the next morning or make a fruit salad such as the one featured in the August/ September 2013 issue of OTMOM. Take some time to prepare enough of the meal to have ready to go for a few days. An egg bake can be baked at any time and reheated in the morning. Yogurt parfaits with all your

for

kids’ favorite fruits, nuts, and homemade granola are a cinch to make and kids think they are a special treat. Make oatmeal the night before and just microwave it in the morning. Or put your slow cooker to work for overnight oatmeal: Combine 1 cup steel-cut oats, 1 cup dried fruit [raisins, craisins, and dried apricots—yum), 4 cups water, and ½ cup of half-and-half or evaporated milk in slow cooker and set on low heat. Cover and cook 8-9 hours. Stir and serve. Hard boiling a bunch of eggs to keep on hand can be a good start to a yummy breakfast sandwich.

freezer friendly

Use your freezer to your advantage. From smoothies to frozen baked goods, your freezer may be your most under-utilized appliance for breakfast help. I am not much of a baker, but when I eye the brown bananas on the counter, I throw them in the freezer and stock pile them until I  have enough to make dozens of whole wheat banana muffins. It doesn’t take long to mix together ingredients for muffins. Once they are baked and cooled, reserve enough for the next few days and freeze the rest. What could be easier than pulling muffins out of

the freezer before you go to bed and allowing them to thaw on the counter until morning? Or pop them in the microwave in the morning to really save you time. Buy bags of frozen organic fruits at a place like Costco at great prices. Frozen fruit can be used for sprinkling on cereal, oatmeal, or yogurt. Smoothies are the winning use for frozen bulk berries at our house. A little frozen fruit, yogurt, and a splash of juice or milk whirled in the blender takes seconds to prepare. Don’t forget that an egg bake, frozen in smaller portions to be microwaved as needed, can be a great addition to quick breakfasts waiting for you in the freezer.

dinner for breakfast

Last night’s lasagna can be breakfast, too! Leftovers make a hearty start to a growing kid’s day. Remember, breakfast is the most important meal of the day—that doesn’t mean it has to be “breakfast food”! Some kids don’t love breakfast food, and leftovers can be a perfect way to get something in their stomachs before another day at school. There’s a lot to be said for using up leftovers that might otherwise get thrown away—or worse—you have to eat them for lunch for the next few days!  I have known parents who make sandwiches, burritos, and salads for breakfasts for their kids. Or how about incorporating the taco meat from Tuesday Taco Night into Thursday Morning Breakfast Burritos?  One of my favorite breakfasts my sisters and I have been known to make on a lazy Saturday morning involves sautéing whatever leftover or need-to-be-used-up vegetables and incorporating them with scrambled eggs. Don’t forget the Sriracha sauce!

Although some of these ideas may involve a bit more effort than most of us are willing to put into a weekday breakfast, you don’t have to be supermom every day. Getting into the routine of shaking up breakfast a few times a week is great start. Sending my kids out the door with a belly full of something nourishing and easy that I prepared makes me feel like supermom; that is, until I need to figure out what’s for dinner.

Kari’s passion for food, family, and fun has been with her since her upbringing on the shores of Big Floyd Lake near Detroit Lakes, MN. She earned Secondary Education degrees in both Social Studies and English from Concordia College, but has spent the last 14 years being mom.  She and her husband, Brent, are parents to three children and eager taste-testers, Gunnar [14], Ava [11], and Ella [6]. Kari takes great pride in her career of stay-at-home mom, which has allowed her to cultivate her love for food and provide imaginative and healthy meals for her family. Just don’t ask her kids about meals that they have labeled “Kari’s Creations”!

I’ve had Botox for several years now and was very happy with those results but the Thermage is at a whole different level. The staff were very professional and made me comfortable for the procedure. The treatment took about an hour and I did noticed a little redness but experienced NO downtime.

By the end of the first week I thought my skin looked amazing! I am very grateful to Dr. Mathison and her team for making me feel and look like a million bucks

ear infections dog gone

story by | dr. amy anderson

Did you know that ear infections are the number one reason why dogs visit the vet? Knowing what causes an ear infection, how to treat it, and how to prevent it from happening again is very valuable information for a dog owner to have.

How do you know if your dog has an ear infection and what should you do? The most common signs of an ear infection [otitis] are discomfort [scratching excessively at the ear, shaking the head, rubbing the ear on the ground], a foul odor, redness, swelling, and discharge [yellow, black, green]. If you notice any of these signs, it is unlikely your dog’s ear will get better on its own. The longer you wait, the harder the infection will be to treat. That means it is time to call your veterinarian and make an appointment to have your dog examined. It is also important to note that, while ear mites are common in cats, they are exceedingly uncommon in dogs. Odds are your dog is scratching his ear because of an infection and not mites. If left untreated ear infections can lead to chronic pain with negative changes in your dog’s attitude or behavior, neurologic disease, and deafness.

Now that you’ve scheduled an exam, you can expect that your veterinarian will thoroughly evaluate your dog’s ears both with the naked eye and with an otoscope. An otoscope is an instrument that allows us to look deeply into the ear canal [a dog’s ear canal is MUCH longer and curvier than a human’s] to see how things look in there. How much debris is building up? Are there ulcers or sores deep in the ear? Is there a foreign body, such as plant material, that is stuck in there? Can the ear drum be seen, and is it intact? A sample of the contents of the ear canal is often obtained to examine under a microscope. This will provide information as to what type of organism is causing the infection. Ear infections will be treated differently depending on the type of bacteria or yeast found in the sample. Also, depending on the appearance and the organisms found during this step, a “culture” may be recommended. This means that the sample will be sent on to a laboratory to grow the organism. Several different antibiotics can be tested to see which one works best on your particular dog’s infection. A culture can actually save a lot of time and money when treating a severe ear infection. Your vet may also recommend a recheck examination, depending on what she sees on the first visit. Recheck exams are very important to be

sure the infection is completely gone. If not monitored, it is common for an infection to come back within a few weeks after the initial treatment.

How can ear infections be prevented? Some dogs are more prone to ear infections than others. This can depend on their breed or their anatomy [how they are “put together”]. Veterinarians will typically make cleaning recommendations based on each individual case. If ears are cleaned too often, or with too harsh a cleanser, irritation may be caused to the canal that can lead to an infection rather than prevent one. The number-one cause of chronic, recurrent ear infections is allergies. Allergies in dogs most commonly cause skin irritation and itching. The ears are also part of the skin and in that dark, moist environment irritation will quickly lead to an infection. It is important to note that, specifically, food allergies are the most common cause of ear infections. In this area we also see a lot of ear infections in the summer when dogs are swimming. When dogs get wet, either through swimming or bathing, the ceruminous [wax] glands produce more wax that can block the ear canal and lead to yeast and bacteria growth. It is important to dry your dog’s ears out thoroughly after swimming or bathing. There are also products available to put in the ear canals that can assist with drying.

This article just touches the surface of when, how, and why dogs get ear infections. What is important to note is that your dog does not have to live with stinky, painful, itchy ears forever. There are many, many things that can be done to treat, cure, and manage this common problem.

Sometimes the process is easier than others, but we veterinarians have a LOT of tricks up our sleeves if you are interested in getting to the bottom of the problem!

Dr. Amy Anderson is co-owner of West Fargo Animal Hospital [www. westfargoanimalhospital.vetsuite.com]. Since 2008 Dr. Anderson has provided veterinary medical and surgical care for dogs and cats. She received an undergraduate degree from Penn State Univerisity and her Doctor of Veterinary Medicine degree from Iowa State University. She has a special interest in soft-tissue surgery, although building lasting relationships with pets and their owners is what she enjoys most. Amy resides in West Fargo with her husband Anthony and daughters, Piper [8] and Paisley [6]. They enjoy the company of their French Bulldog Wally, cat Doozer, goldfish Sylvie, Spotty, and Goldie, and horses Geoffry and Maizee.

just do it

story by | kathleen wrigley

My previous missive “It’s tomorrow…TODAY” urges us to follow our dreams. I’m piggy-backing on that message to tell you about a friend who scoffs at the phrase, “You can’t teach an old dog new tricks.” She takes the shot and reaches for her goals. I’m eager to share her with you.

Doris [Dorie] Hermundstad Liffrig is 83 years old. She and her husband, Duane, have eight children, 31 grandchildren, and 19 great-grandchildren, with two

more on the way. With such a large and growing family, the branches of its tree are many and spread from Norway to the great plains of North Dakota. Dorie has spent much of her recent adult life trying to connect generations spread across vast geography, the expanses that too often cause the once connected to lose touch.

In 2008 Dorie wrote her autobiography and titled it “I’m Strong…I Can Make it.” From the fjords of Norway to the fields of North Dakota, Dorie wanted to narrow the distance between her relatives. She didn’t let the details of her mission, like getting a publisher or editor, stop her. She sat down, wrote, had it hard-covered and

copied—all on her own. Her family’s history is detailed in 387 pages, and modestly covered in a strong, blue jacket. Nothing too fancy. Just the sparse, but page-turning, truth. So fitting for this woman.

You can imagine that with 83 years of living, Dorie has a lot to say. She doesn’t waste time or energy mincing words. She writes with purpose: to communicate and connect with her family. And as her family grew, it became more evident that the gap was widening and the lineal lines fading. Not only did the newer, younger generation have different perspectives on life, she feared they lacked an appreciation for the challenges of her era. Dorie says, matter-of-factly, “This is important to me. I am duty-bound. How will they know about my generation if I don’t tell them? Their lives are so different than ours. And it’s important history.” Quintessential Dorie, she designed a plan to fill in the gap of understanding and knowledge.

Dorie decided it was important to write books for children about growing up on the prairie during the Great Depression. At first her focus and purpose was that she would compile these accounts for her grandchildren and great-grandchildren to read. Soon after she started she realized she was limiting herself. She told me, “Why shouldn’t all children—not just my own grandchildren—be learning about this time in history and how we survived without material things.” Her next collection of childhood memoirs would be formally published and sold and read by thousands of school-aged children, connecting the gap between generations and sharing real and beautiful lessons of how gratitude and attitude affect us during times of hardship and struggle.

Volume One of “Growing up Rich in a Poor Family” was published in 2011 [Volume Two has recently been published]. To Dorie’s surprise, her grandchildren’s classrooms became immersed in it as a required assignment. Teachers and administrators were tickled to share the lessons and life of little Doris Hermundstad. This real-life Little House on the North Dakota Prairie book takes the reader back in time to simpler, more modest, but also more challenging, days. Our modern world is riddled with things that threaten what really matters and—at times—lacks depth of insight into how to attain lasting happiness. Dorie Liffrig’s stories illustrate a meager childhood loaded with valuable

lessons that material possessions are not necessary to be happy. They were content with very little money. The family’s focus was on nurturing and connecting with one another and using their imaginations to explore, play, and learn and thrive. None of these things can be bought. The one essential necessary ingredient: heart.

My own kids’ elementary school in Bismarck is reading “Growing up Rich in a Poor Family” for Reading Week. Doris Hermundstad Liffrig will be our guest on March 28 and the children will dress as pioneers for her visit. I am excited to see and hear Dorie recount her life’s mission, to connect people and generations, and to share what she has learned about life. I have already absorbed some precious awareness from my 83-year-old friend. I know the pulsing of these little people’s hearts will do more than connect to Dorie’s heart. We will be filled with joy and hope, all because she followed her dream. What a gift.

Doris Liffrig lives with purpose. She is engaged in life, every bit of it. Her writings do more than connect generations and share stories. They teach us that every

day is a new chance to capture our potential. Dorie didn’t let the mundane impediments to her dreams [lack of publishers, editors, illustrators] overwhelm and deter her efforts. The marketers at NIKE should use Doris Liffrig in their advertisements. She embodies their well-known slogan: JUST DO IT.

To find "Growing Up Rich..." Go to amazon.com or Barnes & Noble, look under ND authors or ND history.

Kathleen serves on a number of community and statewide boards, committees, and leadership councils, and enjoys volunteering in church, in her kids’ school, and community programs/events. Kathleen is passionate about victims’ rights and helping to promote balance and fairness in the criminal justice system. She is also deeply interested in advocacy, education, programs, and research relating to the protection of children. Fitness is an integral part of Kathleen’s daily routine and helps her sustain her own mental health! Kathleen’s column “just a thought” has been a regularly occurring piece in On the Minds of Moms since 2009. This Philadelphia native is married to a fourth-generation North Dakotan and ND’s Lieutenant Governor, Drew, and proudly considers North Dakota her home. They have three children. Before becoming a mom, she was director for Bismarck’s Child Advocacy Center and was a speechwriter. Kathleen received a BS from Pennsylvania State University and completed her graduate studies at Temple University in Philadelphia.

photos: rialee photography | ria czichotzki

bold resolve michelle french

story by | patricia carlson

Michelle French still couldn’t believe she was here. The days and hours have gone by at rocket speed and moved like a glacier, all at the same time. Seeing her baby boy fighting for his life was beyond torture. She took a break from his side and went to the family waiting room. The unknown future, decisions that might have to be made, raced through her mind. But all she could focus on was seeing those beautiful brown eyes again. In this moment, that’s all she wanted. As she sat quietly, a family friend burst into the room, “Michelle, come quick! He opened his eyes!” This boy is a fighter…and so is his mama.

Michelle met Tim French in perhaps the most common and least glamorous way.

“We met in a bar,” she says with a sheepish grin and a chuckle.

Michelle, working as a city clerk in East Grand Forks at the time, was immediately drawn to Tim’s physique, smarts, and charm. He liked her spunk. “She’s fiery, and has this spark, this energy,” says Tim. “I don’t know anyone like her. She is true.”

Nine months after the fateful meeting, they were engaged. A year later they married and instantly started trying to have a family. In the fall of 2008 Michelle and Tim were blessed to bring daughter Jaylie into the world. It was heaven—they wanted more!

On Jaylie’s first birthday Michelle and Tim announced they were expecting baby number two; this time, a boy. “We wanted them close,” says Michelle. “We wanted them to be buddies.”

moved by the joy and passion they brought to her life. She and Tim—always energetic, active people—embraced the spontaneous lifestyle that accompanied raising Jaylie and Ryker.

“We flew by the seat of our pants. There wasn’t much planning,” laughs Michelle. “We did what we wanted to do when we wanted to do it. We always brought our kids. We went everywhere and did everything together.”

Being a mother was everything Michelle hoped it would be. By all accounts she was really good at it, too. “She’s so hands on,” says Michelle’s lifelong friend Kristi Benson. “She’s on the floor tickling, wrestling, reading books. As a friend, she is so bubbly and full of stories. Always has a smile and a giggle. That’s the type of mom she is, too. She knows how to have fun with her kids.”

the day

October 8, 2010, started out like any other day. Jaylie was visiting Michelle’s mom and dad in Fertile, MN;

Ryker debuted in April 2010. Michelle and Tim were overjoyed with their growing family. “He was very healthy,” remembers Michelle. “There were no complications with anything.”

For five-and-a-half blissful months, Michelle, Tim, Jaylie, and Ryker played, laughed, cuddled, and bonded like most families do. Michelle loved her babies and was

they were all gearing up to watch Michelle’s brother play that night in the homecoming football game. Michelle dropped Ryker off at daycare. It was a home daycare Michelle had used since Jaylie was a baby. She kissed Ryker’s chubby cheeks and stared into his bright, happy eyes.

The workday slowly crawled by for Michelle until Tim called to persuade her out for an afternoon golf date.

“We had a membership at a golf course and we didn’t get out golfing much anymore,” he says. “So I said, ‘Let’s do a quick nine holes and then go pick up Ryker early.’” Michelle agreed and they took off. The course was crowded. The pace was slow. Michelle and Tim decided to call it quits and go pick up Ryker early. It was 4:15 p.m. Tim pulled into the daycare driveway and watched Michelle walk in with another mom. What happened next played out like something you’d see in a primetime television drama.

Michelle: I walk in and the daycare provider looks like she is ready to go out for the night. She tells me she’s going to her son’s football game. I say I’m going to a football game, too.

Tim: I stay in the car and wait. But it’s taking a while.

Michelle: Daycare lady walks into a bedroom and brings Ryker out. He is gray. Lifeless. I look at him. He’s not breathing. I start screaming call 911! The daycare lady panics and starts

floor. He looks like he’s just been pulled from the river. He was gray. It was such a sick color.

Michelle: Ryker has dried tears and snot all over his face. All over. Like he suffocated to death. Ryker’s dead. My boy is dead. “What did you do? What happened?,” I scream at the daycare lady.

Tim: I get an instant adrenaline pump. I’m in a full body sweat. I start doing CPR. It looks like something smothered my son. Like he cried his heart out face down in a crib or something. He was so cold. I keep doing CPR. It’s a blur.

Michelle: I tell Tim to not stop doing CPR. Finally the ambulance came. They tried over and over to intubate Ryker.

Tim: The paramedics know my wife. She works for the city. So they’re crying and shaking. This can’t be happening...

Michelle: The fifth time they got the breathing tube in. Then he coded all the way to the hospital.

A team of doctors surrounded Ryker at the hospital. They put a warming blanket on him and worked feverishly to return his heartbeat. LifeFlight was called to transport him to Fargo. They didn’t think Ryker would make it through the night.

Tim was dumbfounded. He remembers making phone calls but not to whom or what he told them. He couldn’t make sense of anything. “I was in shock. I didn’t have any answers,” he recalls. “We cried the whole way to Fargo. We probably shouldn’t have driven.”

running around yelling hysterically. The other mom there calls 911. I grab Ryker and lay him on the floor. That’s when I run outside yelling for Tim.

Tim: I see Michelle come out. She’s crying. I’m thinking there was a bad hand-off. Like maybe Ryker got dropped. That’s what I’m thinking as I bolt for the house. By this point Michelle can’t talk. She’s losing it. I look at Ryker laying on the kitchen

The news about Ryker’s condition didn’t improve once he landed in Fargo. Doctors told Michelle and Tim to start looking into donating his organs and consider funeral arrangements. He had minimal brain activity and required life support. Michelle arranged for a mold of his hands and feet to be made. She called Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep, a volunteer photography group that takes pictures of babies who are stillborn or pass away after birth, to take final photographs. “I just wanted one shot where we were holding all our hands together,” says Michelle, tears wetting her cheeks.

Family and friends poured into the hospital to give Michelle, Tim, and Jaylie hugs and comforting words. They whispered encouragements in Ryker’s ears and gave him soft kisses of hope, although there was little reason to believe his prognosis would change. Kristi Engelstad, a paramedic with FM Ambulance and a longtime friend of the Frenches, remembers seeing Ryker in his sterile hospital crib for the first time, a breathing tube extending from his tiny cherub mouth. Kristi had seen a lot of babies in peril before, she had even saved some, but nothing prepared her for the gut-wrenching feeling of loss she had when she cradled Ryker’s limp hands inside hers. “It was very bad. To see Ryker in that situation was heartbreaking,” she says. “I would’ve bet you a million dollars that he wouldn’t have made it. It was one of the worst cases that I’ve seen.”

hope

While there were small positive signs in Ryker’s condition, the Frenches were advised that the situation was very

grim and to prepare for the worst. But something in Michelle wouldn’t give up. She felt Ryker was still there, trapped inside his little body, fighting with a warrior’s might to make it. She had hope and she sensed that Ryker had hope, too.

“Every day we had to write one goal on a whiteboard in his room,” says Michelle. “I kept saying, ‘I just want to see his beautiful brown eyes one more time.’ I just wanted him to open his eyes so badly. I needed to look into them and see if he was still there.”

Three days after his hospitalization Ryker defied the odds and opened his eyes. “It was quick and it was amazing,” Michelle says. “It feels like yesterday. That’s when I canceled the molding and the photography session. I said, ‘We’re not going to need this.’ We had family pictures already scheduled for November and I said we’ll get our family shot then. I knew Ryker would pull though.” Ryker remained in Fargo for just over three weeks. Doctors knew his age was a benefit

in his healing, but they were amazed by his progress. Unfortunately, a complete recovery was highly unlikely.

The part of Ryker’s brain that was damaged controls motor and sensory function. While he could hear and breathe on this own, he could no longer swallow. Doctors inserted a feeding tube, which he’ll have for the rest of his life. He’ll never walk. He battled epileptic seizures and eventually ended up on a cocktail of medications to prevent the painful infantile spasms. His vision is compromised, although no one is really sure how badly.

“It’s called cortical blindness, where his eyes roll back in his head a lot,” explains Michelle. “Vision is the hardest sense for his brain to control and with his brain working to keep up the other senses—taste, smell, hearing—his brain can’t control his eyes. It’s too much.” Michelle is hopeful that Ryker’s sight will improve enough that he’ll be able to wear glasses one day.

The only fact that mattered was that Ryker was still here. Defying the odds. A miracle. But leaving the hospital was just the first step. The true test for the whole family was moving Ryker home.

the transition

“Our house in East Grand Forks wasn’t prepared for Ryker’s medical needs,” explains Tim. “For the first four months after we brought him home, Michelle slept on the living room floor because Ryker needed to sleep propped up on the couch.”

Michelle and Tim also needed to learn a whole new set of caretaking skills for their son, like changing his feeding tube and using a motorized aspirator to suction out saliva. They also bought a specialized vest that people with Cystic Fibrosis often use to help remove fluid buildup and to prevent the risk of pneumonia in Ryker’s lungs. “He can get pneumonia five to ten times a year,” says Michelle. “We have to use the vest four to five times a day.”

Rather than wallowing in sadness regarding ‘what could have been’ or drowning in anger over ‘what-ifs’, Michelle has channeled that energy into being the best mother she can be for her children. Friends who’ve known her since childhood say they expected nothing less from Michelle. “She had to become a huge voice for Ryker. He had a lot of needs and she was Ryker’s voice for his nurses, doctors, therapists, attorneys, investigators. She had to become strong for her and Ryker immediately,” says Kristi Benson. “And she did.”

Yes, Michelle has changed. She changed to better her family and provide what they need of her, but she hasn’t changed who she is. Shortly after bringing Ryker home a social worker made a visit to the Frenches to discuss what assistance was available to the family. As they talked, the social worker’s advice was for Michelle to quit her job and for them to sell their home. As the family currently stood, they wouldn’t qualify for any type of government assistance because of their financial standing. Michelle wanted no part of that.

“I told her to leave my house and never come back,” Michelle recalls. “That’s not us. That’s not the example I want to be for my kids. We are a working family. Both the husband and the wife.”

And when it comes to Ryker’s medical care, Michelle is not to be messed with. “She is the biggest advocate for this kid,” says Tim, looking down at his son who is nestled on his lap. “She spends hours on the phone battling insurance or finding a new treatment. She won’t quit and she won’t take no for an answer. She’s a fighter.”

The couple has also worked hard to keep the family’s life as normal as possible. They go on family ice-fishing excursions, weekends at the Minnesota Zoo and Mall of America, summer vacations to the Black Hills, and do their best to make every at-home University of North Dakota hockey game. Jaylie participates in skating, gymnastics, dance, and soccer. Michelle and Tim make a point to not let Ryker’s needs interfere with things a normal five-year-old girl would grow up doing. But Jaylie also has an innate love for Ryker that couldn’t be taught, says her mom. “That kid... she’s something else,” marvels Michelle. “She tells me that she is going to become a baby doctor when she grows up and live across the street from us and take care of Ryker.”

In 2012 the family moved to Moorhead to be closer to the services available in the Fargo-Moorhead area. Michelle found a new job as the city clerk in Moorhead and Tim continued his work as an independent researcher for large pharmaceutical companies. The family has also expanded. In December 2012 Bryson—a happy, adventurous boy—was born. Friends toss out words like ‘brave,’ ‘courageous,’ and ‘fearless’ when talking about Michelle’s decision to have more children.

“All of her friends from Fertile, we’re all mothers now, and we don’t how she did it,” says Kristi Benson. “To even think about three is a big deal. But to know you need to

bold resolve

lift Ryker and carry him and maintain his needs and now you’re going to throw a newborn into it? She is amazing.”

the routine

Michelle quickly became as organized to near perfection as possible. She has three calendars that detail the family’s complete work, school, and extracurricular

Ryker receives physical, occupational, and speech therapy weekly. An in-home nurse is with him each day while his parents work and his brother and sister are at daycare. He continues to show improvement. He responds to his parents’ voices, and lights up when his sister and brother enter the room. He also knows what is going on around him and is starting to communicate

schedules, along with Ryker’s medical appointments and nurse staffing. She also creates a monthly dinner meal plan to ensure she knows what she’ll be preparing each night. “It keeps me sane,” she says with a laugh. Tim’s work requires him to travel three to five days a week, leaving Michelle the sole caretaker most days. But she supports his career because it helps them afford Ryker’s insurance policies [which can run upwards of $24,000 a year], Jaylie and Bryson’s activities, and the things they love to do as a family.

with his family. If asked to raise his arm if he wants to go outside, he will do it! Ryker continues to amaze everyone, but there is still a long road ahead.

still fighting

It has been just over three years since Ryker’s accident/ incident [Michelle still doesn’t know what to call it] at daycare. Doctors deemed it interrupted SIDS, but the Frenches aren’t so sure. Tim and Michelle are working on acceptance but they are haunted by what could have

been. “This is not the kind of life we want for a child. For our child,” Tim says, holding back tears. “He was normal and happy. We have videos and pictures that I still shake my head at. He was 5 1/2 months’ old. You forget how his laugh and cries used to be. We mourn the loss of our old Ryker and we have to relearn this Ryker.”

Michelle says it’s the little things a parent takes for granted that bring her the most perspective. “I know it sounds so stupid,” she says, her eyes filling with tears, “but the other day I was thinking that I will never be able to buy Ryker big-boy underwear. Seems so silly but it just made me so sad.”

Of course Michelle has tough days. She would love to spill her guts to her girlfriends, but she’s concerned they can’t truly understand what she’s going through. Instead, she leans heavily on Tim and they allow each other to cope on their own timelines. “Our marriage now is stronger than it ever has been. My God, we’re even considering having more children,” exclaims Michelle.

Tim says his wife is the most dedicated mother he knows and that she inspires him and everyone around her every day. “I don’t know how she keeps it all straight. She knows every doctor, nurse, medication, physical therapist, or friend coming for a playdate. She knows the schedule backwards and forwards,” says Tim. “On top of that she has a full-time job and needs to be there at odd times for elections and city council meetings? I give 99.9% credit to my wife. She blows me away.”

Perhaps the best compliment comes from Jaylie. “My mom is fun, nice, and silly. But a really bad dancer and singer.”

Michelle doesn’t know what her future holds. Maybe she and Tim will have another child.

Maybe Ryker’s eyesight will restore enough that he can see his mom, dad, and sister again and lock eyes with Bryson for the first time.

Maybe Jaylie really will become a pediatrician and live across the street from her parents so she can care for Ryker.

Anything is possible. The Frenches learned that from Ryker.

“He has defied the odds. Every odd. Every single odd,” says Michelle. “Miracles happen. Ryker never gave up. We never gave up.”

And she never will…she’s a fighter too.

Patricia Carlson is a freelance writer who divides her time between Minnesota and Florida. Her editorial work appears in publications nationwide, including Minnesota Parent, FOP Journal, Neapolitan Family, and On the Minds of Moms. She also develops and writes strategic website content and email marketing materials for small businesses. Patricia’s roster of clients features sports technology company i1Biometrics, automated marketing venture Buzz360, and independent fitness facility Fit Revolution. When she’s not interviewing sources, she’s questioning the antics of her two young children, her partner, and her mischievous cat. Keep track of her work at www.patriciacarlsonfreelance.com.

photo: thuen studios | scott thuen

story by | sheri kleinsasser stockmoe

It lays in waiting. This predator shows no mercy and doesn’t discriminate. It can blindside you at any time. Waiting for just the right moment to...POUNCE! The moment it can reach in and rip out your heart in victory. It’s the JOY STEALER! Oh and this thief knows how to really hurt us…steal the joy of our kiddo and this culprit gets a two-for-one deal! Dirty bugger! Time to put the joy stealer in its place!

[0–18 months]

She will be our confidant. Your amigo. Your friend in healthy child rearing…your trusted physician. This is the one to have…everyone says so. But then there is the insensitive comment, the bedside manner or there is just something that doesn’t feel right; now what? Maybe it’s time for a new doc.

what’s up doc

When you’re talking about your wee one’s health, it’s a huge deal! You deserve to feel comfortable with your kiddo’s doc and confident in his/her medical guidance. If you don’t have that, you have every right to move on. Use these tips to find the doc that is right for your family: • look it up Do your research for potential physicians. You can ask friends and family for referrals, as well as your insurance company. Search the American

Academy of Pediatrics online for board certified physicians. Consider choosing a pediatrician, which means he or she specializes in the care of kiddos, or maybe a family practitioner who is able to see the entire family is a better fit for you. Remember you want to trust this person, so do your homework.

• good fit Once you have found a new potential doc, call to make sure he or she is taking new patients and your insurance is accepted. If all is a go, set up either a potential interview or an actual appointment for your wee one. Let the doc know you are looking for a new physician for your kiddo and why. Expressing the concerns you have had previously can help you set the stage for a great relationship moving forward.

a 2011 study published in the journal Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences found people who reported feeling happiest had a 35% reduced risk of dying compared with those who reported feeling least happy

tots [18 months–3 years]

The book says this, but my mom said I did it way sooner. I’m sure my tot will be ahead of the curve. I mean look at the neighbor’s son. My kiddo is so far ahead of him. And my cousin’s tot doesn’t even come close to where my son is at. HOLD ON, MAMA! No need for all the comparisons. No need to put your parenting joy on the shoulders of how your tot compares to others on the playground.

unique as me & you

Yes, your tot is so special. He is so unique…exactly like every other tot. No two are alike, but is it easy to look at other kiddos and use them as a measuring stick of your tot’s abilities and your effective parenting. Comparisons aren’t necessarily bad, but you need to keep them in check:

• label no more Comparisons take a negative swing when you place labels of bad or wrong with them. Your tot isn’t “bad” because he doesn’t want to sit for his snack like the other tots. And you aren’t doing something “wrong” because your tot wakes up in the middle of the night and everyone else you know has a kiddo who has slept through the night since the age of six months. Big deal!

• trust you Comparing your tot to another can be helpful if there are concerns you have with your tot’s development. If there is something you are worried about, don’t beat yourself up. Reach out to your trusted physician, voice your concerns, and get some valuable advice.

preschoolers [3–5 years]

Do you have a negative Ned or complaining Calvin living under your roof? Nothing is right. Everything is met with some type of objection. “I don’t like that!”

“Why do I always have to do it?” “You are always mean to me.” Sound familiar? Negativity can smother joy… get that attitude turned around, mama!

lalalala…I can’t hear you

A kiddo that tends to see the glass half empty and spews incessant complaints can be just plain exhausting! While just shutting it off might seem easier, you can help him recognize his negative attitude and change it:

• do ya get it Don’t assume your kiddo knows the difference between being negative and positive. Help paint a picture of what a person with a negative attitude looks like, as well as one with a

positive attitude. And explain what complaining is. While some complaints are helpful, many times complaints are used as an opportunity to place blame or voice dislike or hurtful comments. Help him see the difference.

• we are family Couldn’t we all use a little positivity refresher? No reason the whole family can’t be conscious of their attitude and complaining. Challenge everyone to recognize when they [make it clear each person is to only worry about his own behavior] are displaying a negative attitude or complaining. Have them try to change what they can by simply doing the requested task or communicating exactly what needs to be done without attitude or complaint.

the Mayo Clinic says positive thinking can provide health benefits such as living a longer life, lower stress levels, and boost your immune system

the American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry states that nearly half of all kiddos will experience school bullying at some point while they are in elementary or secondary school

big kids [6–9 years]

You want to talk about a joy stealer? Look no further than a sad, teary-eyed big kid coming home to tell you other Mr. Big Kid was mean today or doesn’t want to be friends anymore. Sniff…sigh…sad!

can’t we all just get along

Mean…ain't no fun! It’s horrible to see your big kid hurt. But from the playground to the boardroom and everywhere in between, there are meanies in the world. Here are some tips to help your big kid deal with his first encounters of the mean kind:

• mama gotcha Be your big kid’s safe haven, his refuge, and listen to what has made him upset. You want him to know he can always come to his mama for

help. So listen intently and don’t get emotional or angry...listen.

• i feel ya Show your big kid compassion and tell him you’ve been in the same boat. Sharing your stories that are similar to his experience can provide comfort and relief that he isn’t the only one to feel like this.

• now what Discuss with your big kid options he can use to address the meanie. Every big kid is different so there isn’t going to a one-size-fits-all meanie solution. Help him with potential comebacks, when to ignore meanness, and when to report to a teacher. Giving your big kid the tools to stand up for himself and address the situation will provide much-needed confidence.

a MetLife survey of American teachers found that 57% of teachers in schools with high parent engagement said they were very satisfied with their jobs, while only 25% of teachers in schools with low parent engagement would say the same thing

tweeners [10–12 years]

Your tweener is bright, social, and conscientious. A delight to have in class! That’s what his teachers have always said. So what’s up with Mr. Tweener coming home and proclaiming, “I hate my teacher!” WHAT?

you wanna go

As likeable, smart, and well behaved as your tweener is, odds are he is going to have a teacher that he doesn’t see eye to eye with. But such is life. We all encounter people that we have to deal with that we don’t get along with the best. So before you put on your Super Mamma cape and swoop in to resolve this conflict, consider helping your tweener address the problem himself:

• only the facts So he hates his teacher, why? What’s going on in class? Is he keeping up with the class work? Is he getting along with his classmates?

Determine if there is something going on in the classroom that your tweener doesn’t like rather than actually “hating” his teacher.

• so different It’s very possible that your tweener’s teacher has a teaching style that your tweener doesn’t jive with. A student who welcomes structure and predictability may struggle with a teacher who is more “go with the flow.” Help your tweener see what he can learn from this teacher and her teaching style.

• let’s talk If your tweener still has issues, help him take the first step at resolving the problem by talking to his teacher. Do some role playing. Tell him to start by asking his teacher, “what can I do about…?” and then get into the things your tweener doesn’t like or has concerns about. And remind him to be respectful.

There’s that AP math test this week, basketball practice, and two games this week, church youth group, choir, time to start working on college applications, and on and on and on! There’s a lot running through your teen’s mind and at times it can feel overwhelming. Stress…talk about a joy stealer!

who’s STRESSED!

I think it’s safe to say there are a lot of demands on our teens today. High school and the expectations regarding academics, extracurricular activities, a social life, getting into college, and then throw Facebook, Twitter, and Snapchat in the mix and your teen has little time to decompress. But, as every mama is all too familiar with, stress is a part of life. It’s inevitable. The key is learning to deal with stress when it rears its joy-stealing head. Time to teach your teen some stress management:

• ssshhhhh Quiet can and should be a beautiful, welcomed sound. Teach your teen to meditate, pray, or listen to relaxing music quietly and just be still and breathe. Just a few minutes of relaxing can help put things in perspective.

• see it & say it Visualization and positive affirmations can help your teen see the trees through the forest. Affirmations of “I can do it” or “I am smart, capable,

and successful” and visualizing the positive outcome he wants from his efforts can help your teen relax and rejuvenate.

• what you say Keep talking to your teen. Even when he doesn't want to talk. Know what he has on his plate, how things are going, and when to help him de-stress. And create your family rule regarding unplugging. Whether it is no cellphone at dinner or all technology off at a certain time for the night, create the rule that fits your family and stick to it.

American Psychological Association surveyed 1,000 teens, finding 27% experience "extreme stress" during the school year vs. 13% in the summer

story by | deb uglem

Last week my youngest turned 17. I thought, “WOW! I have been a mother of four for like ever!” It got me thinking about parenting. I used to read articles about mothers proclaiming how much they had learned from their children. I didn’t get it then. How in the world could that be true? I was under the notion that I was in charge. One of my main roles as a mother was to make sure to teach my children how to become strong, self-sufficient, kind adults. This, of course, has been my ultimate goal since my oldest took his first breath. The one thing I didn’t realize was what I would be getting in return. Over the years I have found my best teachers are the four little people living with me. I have certainly matured over my parenting years and my kids have taught and changed me more than any other human being. In honor of my four, here are my top four lessons learned.

My first lesson: selflessness. This hit me the instant child number one was born. I went from worrying about me to being utterly consumed with someone else’s needs. I would take time to watch him while he slept and being there for every moment ranked higher in

importance than a shower [don’t worry, it wasn’t every day]. I am hoping I have fine-tuned this trait enough to be seen as a caring mother and not as a helicopter mom. I do have to admit I have slipped to the top of that group at times, but for the most part he showed me the importance of caring and putting someone in front of myself. Compassion and true giving started with this guy.

The second lesson was learned times two: chaos is fun and perfection is unattainable. Jumping from one child to three in a year can send any household upside down. I have had my share of food fights, crayon-covered walls, and toy-filled living rooms. And as soon as I thought I had this motherhood thing figured out an outbreak of chickenpox would run through the house, reminding me that I am not in control. As a mother it’s hard not to blame yourself for the state of the family. However, I have learned to ignore the guilt or at least put it on the back burner. I have now realized I am not the perfect mother, and my kids don’t seem to care—or maybe they haven’t even noticed. Today I focus on getting to appointments on time, having enough clean dishes for dinner, and embracing the chaos that is my everyday life.

when the student becomes the teacher

The third lesson came wrapped in a pink bow: be you. I have a little [17-year-old] girl who has taught me the power of self-confidence. I remember her jumping out of the car to run into swimming lessons at age six and yelling, “Meet you inside, Mom!” I marveled at her courage and today envy her ability to choose her own path. She has been strong enough to survive in a house filled with boys and not lose her inner girl. Her self-assurance allows her to be an individual and follow her heart regardless of what people think. As you can imagine, this sometimes leads to lively discussions with her parents. However, this trait also leads to hugs goodbye in public. She helped me realize that whatever role I was playing, stay-at-home-mom, working mom, or wife, I have to have the confidence to make decisions based on what makes me, me.

Lesson number four: perspective. Since I have become a mother I have totally changed the way I relate to the world. My kids have opened my eyes to looking at things through theirs. They are not afraid to laugh or cry. They don’t hold grudges. Their fear is almost nonexistent.

They accept people for who they are. They are silly and serious. Their determination is endless. They ask for what they need and they know that hugs help. Their perspective has made me see my world differently. As it turns out, those four kids comfort me as much as I comfort them.

As I look back now I realize I have spent years thinking I was teaching my children the basic skills of life. I know it sounds cliché, but the time has gone in an instant. One moment I was wishing away temper tantrums in Target and the next I was helping with college applications. After all these years and lessons learned I know the truth: the journey of parenting continues to be my best education, and I still have a lot to learn.

Raised in Finley, ND, Deb has called Moorhead her home for the last 12 years. A graduate of Drake University in Des Moines, IA, with a degree in Journalism and Mass Communications, she is currently Marketing & Communications Director for Wanzek Construction. Deb welcomes the pleasant distraction that writing brings and thanks her children, Jake[20], Tony [19], Nick [19] and Emily [17] for inspiration. Deb and her husband Tim like to spend their free time with their kids and on the golf course.

To the world you might just be one person, but to one person you might just be the world.

photo: michelle warren photography | michelle warren

the face of expertise

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