Feb/March 2021 On the Minds of Moms by on the minds of moms

FEBRUARY | MARCH 2021

Inside:

FARGO ENTREPRENEUR HELPS OTHERS LIVE LIFE FULLY | 26 The valley’s for today’s

CONTENT

IN EVERY ISSUE

EDITOR'S NOTE........................................................ 7 CONTRIBUTORS..................................................... 8 SHUTTERBUG............................................................. 25

Ten Little Chickens Photography

ON THE MINDS OF MOMS | FEBRUARY • MARCH 2021

CONTENT

SECTIONS RESOURCES

Connect, find help, get answers, make a difference........................................... 9

READY, SET, GROW

How to establish healthy eating habits at all ages.......................................................... 44

40 ON THE MINDS OF MOMS | FEBRUARY • MARCH 2021

CONTENT

FEATURE & PROFILES MOD MOM

Katherine Pendergast............................................................... 10

PARENTING PERSPECTIVES

A simple message becomes a heartfelt gift.......................................................... 14

PARENTING IN A PANDEMIC

First-time parents share experiences during unprecedented pandemic..................................... 16

GOOD FOOD

Customizable comfort foods for busy winter evenings........................................................ 20

COVER STORY

Fargo mom and entrepreneur focused on living life fully and helping others do the same................. 26

BALANCING SCREEN TIME

How to balance screen time at a time when screens connect us to everything.................... 34

ANSWERED PRAYERS

Area teen recovering after baseball-sized tumor in brain removed...................... 38

RAD DAD

Scott Brusven................................................................................ 40

ON THE MINDS OF MOMS | FEBRUARY • MARCH 2021

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moms@forumcomm.com PUBLISHER Forum Communications Company EDITOR Mary Jo Hotzler mhotzler@forumcomm.com MANAGING EDITOR Danielle Teigen danielle.teigen@forumcomm.com WRITERS Tracy Briggs Melissa Davidson Kris Hauge Alicia Strnad Hoalcraft Paula Quam Jessica Rerick Danielle Teigen ADVERTISING Mark Von Bank adfeatures@forumcomm.com DESIGN AND LAYOUT Sara Slaby specialsections@forumcomm.com PHOTOGRAPHY Renee Clasen CONTENT INQUIRIES moms@forumcomm.com

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MISSION AND VISION On the Minds of Moms is dedicated to providing a community of local support and real-life advice for the modern mom who is on the go and needs to know. We are inspired to help the woman behind “the mom” balance it all by offering support, validation and reassurance she is a good mom wanting only the best for herself and family. On the Minds of Moms is an online community and magazine for and about local moms. We strive to achieve a balance between useful information and entertaining content. Written to serve as the local reading alternative to family magazines that are produced for a national audience.

On the Minds of Moms contains views from across the parenting spectrum. These views do not necessarily reflect those of the publisher. All activities listed in these pages are at your own risk and require appropriate supervision.

ON THE MINDS OF MOMS | FEBRUARY • MARCH 2021

New year

offers new opportunities MARY JO HOTZLER

ew year, new me? Nope, not this time. There’s too much riding on 2021 to risk starting it off with a potentially failed New Year’s resolution. (Really, who wants to be skinny anyway?) So instead of resolutions this time around, I’ve got a list of New Year’s realizations — things I learned to accept and embrace this past year; things I’m looking forward to carrying with me in the 12 months ahead. The biggest one? I love being “unbusy.” I always suspected I would, but that didn’t stop me from filling every moment of every day pre-pandemic. I used to say “busy is better than bored” but I no longer believe that. I’ve gotten a lot of quality time back with my family because of this realization. The boredom that comes from being unbusy forced me to rediscover hobbies and interests I had abandoned, like art and home DIY. And now I realize that creative outlets are nearly as essential to me (and my sanity) as air. To keep those juices flowing, I signed up for an intro to interior design class through Moorhead Community Education. Just for me and just for fun.

These are just a few of mine. I’m sure most of you have your own moments of personal discovery you could share, too, both big and small. In this edition of On the Minds of Moms, we will introduce you to a few areas moms who have walked this road, having experienced realizations they used to help guide their lives. For example, our Mod Mom Katherine Pendergast, who only as an adult realized her gift for writing. She figured out how to combine that with her love of animals and now is a published children’s book author, writing about Pickles the dog. On our cover this month is Vivian Fellman, who turned her passion for health and wellness into her profession and is now celebrating her first year as a local business owner. We hope you’ll find some inspiration in these and other stories in this edition of the magazine. Remember, you can find these stories and many more online. Look for the On the Minds of Moms section on InForum.com for new content every week.

Mary Jo Hotzler is Forum Communications Company’s Chief Content Officer and the interim editor of On the Minds of Moms. She lives in Fargo with her husband Heath and twin boys. ON THE MINDS OF MOMS | FEBRUARY • MARCH 2021

n the Minds of Moms is grateful to have the following women contributing their expertise and voice to this issue of the magazine.

CONTRIBUTORS

Tracy Briggs

ON THE MINDS OF MOMS | FEBRUARY • MARCH 2021

has spent 30 years as a print, digital and broadcast journalist in Fargo/Moorhead and two months trying to learn the choreography to BTS's "Dynamite" from her daughters, Laura (18) and Jordan (16). Husband Mark and dog McKenna just look on with embarrassment.

Melissa Davidson is a mom to three girls and writer for Click Content Studios, a marketing and video production agency. In addition to writing, she’s passionate about health and wellness, wishes she could get through all the non-fiction books out there, and thrives on learning new things, like the cello!

Kris Hauge lives in a houseful of boys (including the cat), and she enjoys finding creative solutions, thrift store treasures and joy in everyday adventures. As a full-time wife, stepmom and marketing writer, she tries to find efficient short-cuts to help her enjoy a life filled with friends and family.

Alicia Strnad Hoalcraft is manager of integrated media operations production for Forum Communications. She lives in Moorhead with her spouse and their 7-year-old, Calliope. When she’s not working or parenting, she can be found reading, watching “Real Housewives” or painting.

Paula Quam works as managing digital editor of InForum. A Glyndon, Minn. native, Quam served as an Air Force broadcaster before moving "back home" to join the news business in Fargo, working in both TV and newspaper. She and her husband Donavon are the parents of four children — Parker, Oliver, Addison and Kaja — and they live in Detroit Lakes, Minn.

Jessica Rerick of Grand Forks is a freelance writer, trained chef and mom to four boys. Her food blog, wineandhotdish.com, is filled with recipes that quickly become new weeknight favorites. She also owns and operates Craveable Kitchen, an expanding line of dry mixes and seasonings.

Danielle Teigen is managing editor of On the Minds of Moms magazine as well as the author of two nonfiction local history books. She and her husband have three children who keep every day filled with laughter, craziness and caffeine.

RESOURCES

Our list of resources is as everchanging as the content of our magazine, so we’ve moved all the resources online so we can make changes better and offer opportunities to connect, find help, get answers, and make a difference. You can find resources regarding COVID-19, mental and behavioral health, food support, parenting, adoption, child abuse prevention, support groups, counseling, pregnancy and infant loss, MOPS groups and more. Go to inforum.com and search “OTMOM resources” to find the list. To submit a group or resource for consideration in the online listing, please email the information to moms@forumcomm.com.

ON THE MINDS OF MOMS | FEBRUARY • MARCH 2021

Author and mom Katherine Pendergast’s first children’s book featured the true story of Pickles, a dog that survived the 2011 Minot flooding. Special to On the Minds of Moms

ON THE MINDS OF MOMS | FEBRUARY • MARCH 2021

Katherine Pendergast Bismarck, N.D.

MOD MOM

Mom discovers love of storytelling and inspires a little author

By Meilssa Davidson

atherine Pendergast never imagined she’d become an author.

In fact, growing up she never really enjoyed reading and writing. It wasn’t until the things that sparked her soul collided and she discovered the gift of writing, which she knew she had to share with the world. Katherine, who lives in Bismack with her soonto-be 6-year-old son and two dogs, spends her time creating soft-soled baby shoes, bibs and car seat covers for her online boutique, Kat’s Socks. She and her son along with their certified pet therapy dog, Carmela, are also avid volunteers within the community. “I discovered my love for books when I started reading about training dogs,” Katherine said. “After that, I was hooked and read anything I could get my hands on. When I had my son is when I fell in love with children's books.” Reading became a special time for Katherine and her son, and as their love of books grew, Katherine reflected on a special story about a dog named Pickles. “It was 2011 in Minot, North Dakota, and the city was experiencing dangerous flooding. Pickles was found and brought to a local animal shelter,” she said.

While many families welcomed Pickles into their home, she had a hard time adjusting and shortly after her adopters returned her to the shelter. Another animal shelter agreed to take her and eventually she found her forever home with one of Katherine’s family members. That’s when the idea for Katherine’s first book, “Pickles the Dog, Adopted in North Dakota,” was born. “All animals deserve a loving home and I wanted children to be aware of that too — that pet adoption is a great way to find some of the best furry family members,” Katherine said. “After reading so many children’s books with my son, it sounded fun to write my own and share Pickles’s story.” ON THE MINDS OF MOMS | FEBRUARY • MARCH 2021

MOD MOM

Katherine Pendergast is pictured with her son, Carter. Special to On the Minds of Moms

Since its release in 2018 the book has won several national awards. Katherine has also published a few other Pickles books since then, including “Pickles the Dog, A Christmas Tradition,” and “Pickles the Dog Goes to School.” But perhaps her most exciting accomplishment has come with her co-authoring ventures. “Sometimes my son and I make up stories before bed and I'm always impressed by his creativity,” she said. “He asked me if he could write a book just like me, so we actually did! We wrote about his favorite dinosaur, and it will be released soon. It was so much fun, and I can't wait for him to hold the first printed copy!” “Spinosaurus, Bigger than T. Rex,” will be released soon and is a testament that when you follow your heart, you inspire others to do that same. Here’s a little more on her and her experience: I chose Kat Socks as my pen name because... the name of my baby boutique is Kat's Socks. My name is Katherine (Kat), and I made baby shoes 12

ON THE MINDS OF MOMS | FEBRUARY • MARCH 2021

MOD MOM or socks, so that’s where the name Kat’s Socks started. Katherine is a hard name for young kids to say, and most people knew me as the Kat's Socks lady, so the pen name was born by dropping the apostrophes in the name of the boutique. A lady named Kat who writes about a dog! The most challenging thing I faced when publishing my first book was... navigating the world of publishing, which was new to me. Because of my experience, I now help others and even have a course on writing and publishing I made with a fellow author.

“Remembering Who We Really are Through the Nurtured Heart Approach” by Howerd Glasser with Melissa Lynn Lownstein, and anything by Cesar Milan. I look forward to... continuing to write with children's books and seeing my son release his first book. I also plan to someday write in other genres, but that will be down the road. To learn more about Katherine, her books and her boutique visit katssocks.com.

With my first book I really wanted to... help inspire young girls to do anything they want so I made the main character a girl who comes up with a solution all on her own. I also hope that readers might learn a little bit about the training technique she enforces in the book. The most important thing I’ve learned is... don't give up. Know what gives you strength and turn to that when you need it.

In Loving Memory

My advice to aspiring authors is... be clear about your dream and go for it! A mentor of mine once told me, you never know what you can do until you try! What inspires me is… my son, for sure. What do you enjoy doing together? We, of course, love reading. We also love hiking in the Badlands and riding our motorcycles and dirt bikes. What I love about owning my own business is... meeting so many incredible people. I love doing book signing events, school visits and speaking to groups on various topics. A few of my favorite books are… “A Dog’s Purpose” by W. Bruce Cameron, whom I actually got to meet in person, which was a cool experience. I also enjoyed reading “The Five Love Languages of Children” by Gary Chapman,

On Jan. 11, 2021, the real Pickles who inspired Katherine Pendergast's books, died unexpectedly. She will forever be remembered as an incredible dog, friend and inspiration to so many. Special to On the Minds of Moms ON THE MINDS OF MOMS | FEBRUARY • MARCH 2021

PARENTING PERSPECTIVES

“I’m thinking about you.” A simple message becomes a heartfelt gift

By Kris Hauge

ears filled my eyes as a flood of relief and sadness came over me reading this simple message from a friend on July 1, 2019. My due date. A date that was supposed to be filled with joy now lined up with the series of other painful milestones that come with a miscarriage.

“You two are perfect together” I met my husband Ray and we instantly fell in love — albeit a few years later than most fairy tales. After our wedding, we looked into having a child to join my two amazing stepsons and complete our family. From the beginning, we knew our pregnancy journey wouldn’t be typical. In Vitro Fertilization (IVF) offered us the best chance to become pregnant. And so it began. Countless rounds of pills and shots resulted in two viable embryos. After implantation, we headed home to hope (and more shots). Our pregnancy was confirmed and 7 weeks later we stared in awe at a screen showing a little lump with a heartbeat. Everything was perfect. And then it wasn’t.

“We’re praying for you” A week later, making dinner after a typical day at work, I suddenly knew something was wrong. I was bleeding. A frantic trip to the emergency room confirmed a subchorionic hemorrhage (SCH) and there was nothing to do but wait. Wait and worry. 14

ON THE MINDS OF MOMS | FEBRUARY • MARCH 2021

I combat worry with information and proceeded to read everything I could find about SCH. Not very well understood, there is no known cause or treatment, but most women go on to experience a healthy pregnancy. But a small fraction don’t. I miscarried at 13 weeks, right before Christmas just as the cards announcing our pregnancy arrived. There are no words to describe the devastation my husband and I experienced.

“I’m heartbroken for you” I had faced grief before, losing several loved ones including my mom. But nothing compared to the raw pain of those first days of having a miscarriage. At times, I feared for my sanity as I clung to my husband sobbing uncontrollably. Waves of crushing guilt overwhelmed me with thoughts of what I could have done differently and seeking answers where there were none. But grief is hard to define. As you heal, you also find new ways to hurt. Your faith in what you expect of life is shaken and new fears rear their ugly heads. It’s a difficult and long process, especially since continued grief makes people uncomfortable or they simply forget as life moves on while you can’t.

“I lost one, too” Between the loving support of my husband and persistent text messages, emails, calls and visits from friends, family and coworkers, I kept moving forward. When I wanted to shut down and close out the world, they let me know I was loved. As I began to heal, I also began to hear. I heard from other women who had experienced the heartbreak of miscarriage. Sharing our stories made me feel less alone. Like I was less of a failure.

PARENTING PERSPECTIVES

As I began to heal, I also began to hear. I heard from other women who had experienced the heartbreak of miscarriage. Sharing our stories made me feel less alone. Like I was less of a failure. Kris Hauge

But there was one thing hearing those stories didn’t help. My fear. My fears were escalating over time instead of diminishing. Fear of being pregnant again. Fear of losing my husband, my dad, my job, myself. They expanded and swirled touching every part of my life.

“You are strong enough” My miscarriage came after weeks of physical and emotional trauma to my body. But while keenly aware of my increasing anxiety, I hadn’t considered how the physical trauma was compounding the issue. On the advice of one caring friend, I scheduled an appointment with a new primary care provider. A racing heart and shaking hands accompanied me as I met my new doctor, a woman who listened and who cared. As my health came back, so did my hope. And while I hesitated to share my ongoing grief one friend gave me the gift of that simple message, “I’m thinking of you.” I told her what I was feeling and as I talked, the tension started to fade. Several caring and considerate friends gave and continue to give me that gift and as I name those fears out loud, they become smaller. Out in the light, they lose their power.

“Dammit. Just dammit” Remember earlier when I said we had two viable embryos? As I faced my fears, we began the IVF process again. It wasn’t easy. There were countless times I almost quit. It was more than fear. I was terrified.

But I didn’t let it pull me under. While the terror was powerful, the support of my friends and family was stronger. I reached out and found my hope. Even though no one expected it to happen a second time...especially not me. At 5 weeks, I started spotting and my hormone tests fluctuated. An early ultrasound showed an empty gestational sac. A void that swallowed hope. The horrid term “blighted ovum” entered my vocabulary. It’s where the fetus fails to develop and simply isn’t there, but in a terrible twist of reality, your body still thinks you're pregnant. To make sure there is no mistake, you wait for another ultrasound where there is no precious lump with a thumping heartbeat. And you wait for your body to realize the sad truth. Christmas was cancelled again. While we logically discussed how it wasn’t as hard because it was so early, because we hadn’t heard a heartbeat … our hearts were broken.

“How are you doing?” At this point, I’m still raw. Tears come easily and without warning. In fact, the original ending to this article had me still hoping for a chance to introduce my baby to the women who gave me the strength to try again. But I’m here and I’m talking about it. I want other women experiencing a miscarriage or the aftermath to hear me. Just like the women in my life continue to hear and support me. I want you to know you aren’t alone. I’m thinking of you. ON THE MINDS OF MOMS | FEBRUARY • MARCH 2021

‘Not what you pictured’

First-time parents share experiences during unprecedented pandemic

By Danielle Teigen

ecoming a parent for the first time is stressful. You don’t know what you’re doing, you’re sleep deprived and terrified that you’ll somehow make a grave mistake while trying to figure out how to keep your new little baby safe and happy and fed. Now imagine becoming a parent for the first time during a global pandemic. For some local parents, the experience has proven challenging in a number of ways, but they are doing what they can to take it all in stride and just deal with the issues the pandemic and being first-time parents throw at them. Taylor and Justin King of Fargo welcomed their daughter Sydney in August, and because she arrived five weeks early, she had to spend some time in the NICU. Months earlier, Taylor and Justin went to the first ultrasound just before the pandemic began in March, and everything was as expectant parents would typically experience. By the time Taylor’s 20-week anatomical scan came around, protocols had changed and Justin was no longer able to attend. “I was trying to describe it to him,” Taylor remembered. “Him not seeing anything made it not really real, and that was a little sad.” The couple had wanted to find out the gender of their baby at that ultrasound, but the different 16

ON THE MINDS OF MOMS | FEBRUARY • MARCH 2021

protocol changed their mind; they opted to have the technician write the gender on a notecard and seal it in an envelope so they could open it — and find out — together. For Ben and Heather Vatnsdal of Grand Forks, Ben was able to attend the 20-week ultrasound, but soon after, protocols became dynamic. “(The hospitals) kept changing the rules all the time,” Heather recalled. The couple managed the remaining appointments fine, thanks to many pre-screening calls before she was due and even the offer to rent out a fetal doppler so she could monitor her baby’s health at home and talk with her doctor via telehealth. She declined the option but was pleased to know it was available to her. Because Heather is a nurse, she and her doctor decided she should stay home once she hit 37 weeks to ensure she wasn’t exposed to a COVIDpositive person in the waning weeks of her pregnancy. She was scheduled to be induced and tested negative days before the big day. While in labor back in September, Heather was not allowed to walk the halls of the birthing center, although she and Ben were not required to wear masks while in their room. Once Jonas arrived, they realized how sad it was that their siblings and parents were not allowed to come to the hospital to visit. The Kings related to that sadness. “When you have the baby, you picture your parents being able to come in and visit, but they couldn’t,” Taylor said. Their situation was

PARENTING IN A PANDEMIC complicated further by Sydney’s stay in the NICU, so the family was doubly curious about the new baby and the progress she was making. “That was part of the stressful part — trying to keep everyone updated because they couldn’t see her,” Taylor said. Once they left the NICU, Taylor and Justin were encouraged to try to limit their contact with people as much as possible and require any visitors they did allow to see Sydney to wear masks. “Our parents were okay with (wearing masks); they just wanted to see her,” Taylor said. “But it’s not what you pictured — holding your granddaughter with a mask on.” After the Vatnsdal family got home, Heather and Ben made the decision to allow only immediate family members to come to their house who’d been relatively safe about possible exposure, and they received only minor pushback about their decision to ask that visitors wear masks.

Taylor King holds her daughter Sydney in the NICU. Special to On the Minds of Moms

“We laid out the rules ahead of time,” Heather said. That type of boundary-setting is exactly what Terri Burns discusses with participants in the Baby Let’s Talk event, a weekly online support group for new parents offered by Lutheran Social Services of North Dakota. “Every week there’s a conversation about someone brushing up against boundaries,” Terri said. As the team lead of Project Renew, Terri has had multiple conversations with new parents like Taylor and Justin and Ben and Heather who are navigating this extraordinary time in their lives. “It’s been interesting watching the first-time parents rather than the veterans, and there’s this grief with the first-time parents,” Terri explained. “Grief because they are losing experiences they envisioned with their first child and a lot of that hasn’t been possible.” Terri said she counsels many first-time parents to work through their emotions and helps them see

Heather Vatnsdal and son Jonas snap a picture while waiting for a checkup. Special to On the Minds of Moms. ON THE MINDS OF MOMS | FEBRUARY • MARCH 2021

PARENTING IN A PANDEMIC him to the pediatrician, who tested him for COVID. Jonas tested negative, so Ben quarantined away from his new son and wife as much as possible and wore masks whenever he was in their vicinity. Then, Heather tested positive.

Justin and Taylor King welcomed daughter Sydney in August 2020. Photo courtesy of J Lynn Photography

The diagnosis threw her plans to return to work in a tailspin, but they managed another round of quarantine and soon everyone was on the mend. Both Ben and Heather expressed relief about having had COVID and coming out just fine on the other side. “We actually feel better now that we both got it,” Ben said. They are still being cautious and maintaining safe distances from others to keep people safe, but they acknowledged how “generally crazy” this time has been.

they are allowed to have feelings about what their

“We’re just doing the best we can,” Heather said. “The best advice we got was to do what we were comfortable with and don’t judge people for their opinions. Just show grace.”

experience of parenting in a pandemic has been.

Taylor echoed those thoughts.

“We give them permission to feel it,” she said. Despite Ben and Heather’s precautions to avoid catching the virus, Ben tested positive when Jonas was around 11 weeks old; when the baby developed a bit of a stuffy nose, Heather took

“Try not to get peer pressured to come and do something if you don’t feel comfortable,” she said. “Now I don’t just have me to worry about — I have to worry about my baby. We’re juggling that for the first time.”

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ON THE MINDS OF MOMS | FEBRUARY • MARCH 2021

PARENTING IN A PANDEMIC

Helpful resources for unprecedented parenting Project Renew Team Lead Terri Burns shared that when it comes to your baby, there is no wrong answer. Parents (first time or veteran, in a pandemic or not) know what is best for their baby and their situation. When it comes to the current circumstances of a global health event, Terri said one of the most important factors for first-time parents — especially mothers — is understanding when stress or anxiety may be more than a typical reaction to parenting in a pandemic. “I think mental health has to matter so much here, particularly with parents who are struggling,” Terri said. “Disconnecting isn’t going to help them, so we’re encouraging people to set boundaries but also change those boundaries if you’re struggling. Struggling alone is not good for you or for the baby.” Terri said one strategy discussed during the weekly sessions is having a designated spotter, someone who isn’t a spouse or significant other, who is asked to keep an eye out for anything behavioral that seems out of the ordinary. “Many people picked a sibling or a friend they speak to regularly, someone who could speak to them and say, ‘This is something you should talk to your doctor about,’” Terri explained.

Ben and Heather Vatnsdal welcomed son Jonas in September 2020. Photo courtesy of Kacie Johnson Photography Many of the conversations revolved around self-care, with parents sharing lots of ideas for how to stay sane or even still celebrate moments that have been altered due to the pandemic. Participants have talked about how to be creative with virtual baby showers or how to still enjoy the outdoors with a baby during cold Midwest winters. As the conversations continue each week, Terri shared that while the pandemic has certainly changed parenting for everyone, it has also provided some unexpected gifts. “The good thing is that kids are getting extra time with their parents … parents might get snuggles at lunch time and be home for bedtime most nights,” she noted. “The pace has slowed down, giving parents more time to be present with their kids, and that’s a gift.”

ON THE MINDS OF MOMS | FEBRUARY • MARCH 2021

GOOD FOOD

Delicious and cozy

Customizable comfort foods for busy winter evenings By Jessica Rerick

ON THE MINDS OF MOMS | FEBRUARY • MARCH 2021

GOOD FOOD

omemade lasagna always sounds like a great idea until it comes time to make it. So when my family gets the craving for lasagna, I’m usually guilty of just popping a frozen one in the oven because, let’s face it, it’s just easier. Consequently, my kids now prefer the frozen version over any homemade recipes I’ve tried or tweaked, which is a little hard to admit to myself as a chef. I pick my battles carefully, and this has been an easy one to give up. Thankfully, after a few years of experimenting, my sister had an excellent recipe for lasagna that I’ve adapted to a stovetop version. Although Dutch Oven lasagna doesn’t cook any faster, it uses fewer dishes, and that’s a win in my book! You can adapt this recipe to meet your family’s dietary needs by using gluten-free lasagna sheets or by using sauteed mushrooms or roasted chopped seasonal veggies in place of the meat. Many times, I replace half of my meat with finely chopped sauteed mushrooms because it blends in perfectly, and gets some incognito veggies into the dish. While this sauce is on the quick and easy side, we all run out of prep time during the week occasionally. For those times, feel free to swap the homemade sauce for your favorite jarred pasta sauce. Truth be told, I use each version equally. Sometimes life is just busy! There have been days I made it as far as the sauce, but lost energy to finish because I’m putting out “child-fires”, so I order takeout instead. Rather than dwelling on what I didn’t accomplish today, I try to look at it as meal prep for tomorrow! Another winter staple in our house is a good creamy winter soup. This recipe for Creamy Vegetable Gnocchi Soup is seriously good, and it can easily be made gluten-free and even dairy-free, so everyone can enjoy it. Gluten-free gnocchi is easy to find, whether online by the case or in the pasta aisle of certain local grocers. To make the soup dairy-free, I substitute unsweetened almond milk for the dairy milk and use almond whipping cream in place of the heavy cream. You will not sacrifice the creaminess, I promise you. The soup only calls for onions, celery and carrots, but feel free to add in any vegetables you like.

This creamy gnocchi soup is healthy and can be customized to a variety of dietary needs. Recipe on page 23. Jessica Rerick / On the Minds of Moms

To go alongside the soup or the lasagna, my youngest son likes to help me make garlic knots. Admittedly, garlic knots are what I use to bribe him to the table 90% of the time. You can’t really make them wrong, so it’s a fun way to get your kids cooking with you to teach them their way around the kitchen. My recipe is simple, starting with frozen bread dough that is thawed. Each loaf is cut into 10 pieces, rolled out, and then tied into a knot. Tuck the ends underneath then leave them to rise for 30 minutes. While the dough is rising, make stove top melted garlic butter to use to baste the rolls before and after baking. Basting the rolls twice will ensure that they soak up all of that deliciousness and stay nice and tender. They are sure to be a crowd-pleaser! ON THE MINDS OF MOMS | FEBRUARY • MARCH 2021

GOOD FOOD

Dutch Oven Lasagna

Homemade lasagna can be simplified by taking a few easy shortcuts. Jessica Rerick / On the Mind of Moms

Serves 12-15 (Note: This recipe calls for a 7-quart dutch oven.) Ingredients: 1 ½ 9-ounce packages of oven-ready lasagna noodles 1 pound Italian sausage 1 pound ground beef 1 medium yellow onions, diced small 6 cloves garlic, fresh minced ½ cup dry red wine or water 28 ounces of crushed tomatoes 1 15-can tomato sauce 2 6-ounce cans tomato paste ¼ cup white sugar 1 tablespoon Italian seasoning 1 teaspoon dried basil leaves

1 teaspoon fennel seeds 1 teaspoon kosher salt ½ teaspoon cracked black pepper 16 ounces ricotta cheese 8 ounces cottage cheese 1 egg ¼ cup fresh chopped parsley ¼ cup fresh chopped basil leaves 1 pound mozzarella cheese, fresh sliced 3 cups mozzarella cheese, shredded 1.5 cups grated parmesan cheese

Directions: In a 7-quart dutch oven, brown the beef and sausage until cooked through. Add onions and garlic and cook until translucent. Add wine, tomatoes, sugar, Italian seasoning, dried basil, fennel seed, salt, and pepper. Stir until evenly combined, reduce heat to low. Let simmer, covered, for 1 ½ hours, stirring occasionally. Remove from the dutch oven and place in a large heat-proof mixing bowl. Meanwhile, in a small bowl, stir together the ricotta cheese, cottage cheese, fresh parsley, and fresh basil. Set aside. Dice the fresh mozzarella into ½ inch pieces. Set aside. To assemble: With the dutch oven over medium-low heat, place 2 cups of sauce in the bottom of the dutch oven. Cover with lasagna noodles, breaking noodles as needed to fit the shape of your dutch oven. Cover with an additional 1 ½ cups of meat sauce. Spread ⅓ of the ricotta mixture over the top of the sauce. Top with ¼ cup of the mozzarella cheeses and parmesan. Repeat the layers 3 more times. The layers will go as follows: Meat sauce, noodles, meat sauce, ricotta, mozzarella, parmesan, noodles, meat sauce, ricotta, mozzarella, parmesan, noodles, meat sauce, ricotta, mozzarella, parmesan, noodles, meat sauce, mozzarella, parmesan. Place the lid on the top of the dutch oven, reduce heat to low, and let simmer on your stovetop for 45 minutes to 1 hour or until the noodles are cooked through. If you want to brown the cheese on the top, you can place the uncovered dutch oven under the broiler of your oven for a few minutes. Let rest for 20-30 minutes before serving.

ON THE MINDS OF MOMS | FEBRUARY • MARCH 2021

GOOD FOOD

Creamy Vegetable Gnocchi Soup Serves 4-5 (Note: This recipe calls for a 4-quart dutch oven.) Ingredients: 2 tablespoons olive oil 6 tablespoons butter 1 large onion, diced 1 ½ cups shredded carrots 1 ½ cups diced celery 2 tablespoons minced garlic ½ cup flour 32 ounces vegetable broth 2 cups milk ½ cup heavy cream 2 teaspoons dried rosemary ½ teaspoons dried thyme ¾ teaspoon ground nutmeg 1 teaspoon kosher salt ½ teaspoon cracked black pepper 1 pound gnocchi 2 cup chopped fresh kale (deribbed) or fresh spinach, chopped Directions: In a dutch oven over medium heat, melt butter and olive oil. Add vegetables and cook until tender. Sprinkle with flour, stir and let cook for an additional 5 minutes or until the raw flour smell turns to a slightly nutty, more cooked smell. Slowly whisk in the vegetable broth, milk, and cream. Season the soup with rosemary, thyme, salt, and pepper. Add gnocchi. Bring to a near boil and reduce heat to low. Let simmer until the gnocchi is cooked through, about 20 minutes. Stir occasionally during the cooking. Add the kale/spinach and let cook for an additional 2-3 minutes before serving.

ON THE MINDS OF MOMS | FEBRUARY • MARCH 2021

GOOD FOOD

Garlic Knots Makes 10 garlic knots Ingredients: 1 loaf (1 pound) frozen bread dough, thawed 5 tablespoons butter 5 cloves garlic, fresh minced Directions: Spray a baking sheet with pan spray. Place the dough onto a cutting board and cut the loaf in half. Then cut each half into 5 equal slices. To form the knots, roll each piece into a 10-inch rope. Tie the rope into a knot and place the knot onto the prepared baking sheet, tucking the ends of the knot underneath. Place the rolls 2 inches 24

ON THE MINDS OF MOMS | FEBRUARY â&#x20AC;˘ MARCHâ&#x20AC;&#x192;2021

apart to allow for rising. Cover with sprayed plastic film, and place in a warm place. Let the rolls rise for 30 minutes. Meanwhile, preheat your oven to 350 degrees. In a small saute pan, melt the butter over medium heat. Add the garlic and let cook for 2 minutes. Turn the heat off and set aside. After the rolls have risen, brush them heavily with garlic butter. Bake the rolls for 20-24 minutes or just until the tops have started to turn golden brown. Remove the pan from the oven and brush with remaining garlic butter.

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Ten Little Chickens Photography Shutterbug is a section dedicated to partnering with area photographers who have a passion for family portraits. Interested in having your photographs featured? Email moms@forumcomm.com.

ON THE MINDS OF MOMS | FEBRUARY • MARCH 2021

Health and happiness Fargo mom and entrepreneur focuses on living life fully and helping others do the same

ON THE MINDS OF MOMS | FEBRUARY • MARCH 2021

VIVIAN FELLMAN

By Danielle Teigen

eiwei “Vivian” Fellman is on a mission.

A passionate advocate for healthy living, Vivian wants others to realize how to live their best lives as well. The straightforward and breezy way she talks about the importance of developing healthy habits indicates just how ingrained they are in her daily life, but also inspires you to want to join her on a long run or pop into one of the cycling classes she teaches at the YMCA. A small business owner and entrepreneur, Vivian founded Kota Organics in late 2019 and recently celebrated the one-year anniversary of being North Dakota’s first retail store that sells premium organic CBD products, despite the challenging pandemic year of 2020. Her passion for health has now also become her profession, and she couldn’t be happier about that.

Vivian Fellman is a mom of two young boys and a small business owner of Kota Organics. Photo courtesy of M.Schleif Photography ON THE MINDS OF MOMS | FEBRUARY • MARCH 2021

HEALTH AND HAPPINESS In the days before Zoom meetings (if you can imagine that bygone time), Vivian and Jeff only had the option of Skype calling one another, which they did, every day. Vivian had a flexible schedule with her job, so she was able to come to Fargo to visit Jeff, and he visited Beijing as well. In the summer of 2008, he proposed and Vivian said yes.

Coming to America Her answer also initiated an immigration process that would take months. Being engaged meant Vivian could apply for a type of immigrant visa — fiancé(e) visa, but the stipulation was that she had to enter into the U.S. within 90 days upon the approval of her visa. She and Jeff had to get married within 90 days from the date she entered the U.S., so she moved to Fargo at the end of 2009, and they married shortly after — in four different ceremonies, actually. Those celebrations covered the legal, spiritual, cultural and religious facets of their lives and allowed many family members to commemorate their special union.

Jeff and Vivian met in Beijing in 2004, and they married in Fargo in 2009. Photo courtesy of Elisabeth Eden

Long-distance love Health and wellness has been a part of Vivian’s life since growing up in China where she had access to herbs and botanicals. In 2004, she wasn’t expecting to meet Jeff Fellman from Fargo, North Dakota in Beijing, but she did, and they soon fell in love. When Jeff realized he was missing home and his family thousands of miles away, they made the difficult decision together that Jeff would return to the United States and they’d continue dating at a distance. “He’s a real family man,” Vivian explained. “The things you have to deal with in a longdistance relationship are tough, and then you add in different time zones; we just decided if this relationship was meant to work out, it would work out.” 28

ON THE MINDS OF MOMS | FEBRUARY • MARCH 2021

Once married, the couple settled in Fargo and eventually welcomed two sons, Edward, who is now 6, and Patrick, who is 4. The family loves traveling, not just back to China to visit Vivian’s family, but anywhere else in the world that seems interesting and exciting. But traveling frequently planted an idea in Vivian’s heart that she had to contemplate for a long time before acting on it.

Becoming American Traveling is another passion of Vivian’s, but whenever she did, she had to go through a different customs line at the airport to be processed and allowed back into the United States. Once she began traveling with her boys, she realized that she was considered different than the rest of her family. And that notion bothered her. “I pulled the trigger eventually because I was tired of being treated differently,” she said. “I made the decision, but it was hard because China does not acknowledge dual citizenship; you have to give up your Chinese citizenship forever if you decide to pursue other citizenships.”

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ON THE MINDS OF MOMS | FEBRUARY • MARCH 2021

HEALTH AND HAPPINESS Vivian initiated her American citizenship process in 2017, prompting paperwork and background checks and interviews and studying and fingerprints. About 18 months after starting the process, she passed her interview and

All Vivian wanted to do was run her health and wellness store because a couple of years ago, she found a great solution to manage her panic attacks, and she wanted to share that solution with others.

was scheduled for a naturalization ceremony at Sanctuary Events Center in April of 2019. “It was really cool,” she said about the ceremony. “There were about 400 people of all different races … and it was fascinating; why did they all choose to become a US citizen? I just wanted to soak it in.”

I hate to see people not have a healthy foundation. If you don’t have health, you don’t get to enjoy life and live longer.

After celebrating the occasion, Vivian set

Even after Patrick came home, Vivian started noticing symptoms like shaky hands, shortness of breath, racing heart and more. She talked with her doctor, who suggested yoga or meditation, but Vivian’s Chinese heritage told her to seek out organic, herbal remedies instead. That’s when CBD oil came into the news and she realized she had an option not yet considered. In 2018, the federal farm bill legalized hemp under certain restrictions, so the North Dakota Legislature passed a law allowing CBD products to be sold, as long as they are derived from legally produced hemp, according to a June 19, 2019, Forum article.

Vivian Fellman

her sights on actually practicing her newfound status through an important act: voting. No matter how divisive the last election season was, nothing could hamper Vivian’s excitement to exercise her right to vote. She put the date on her calendar and went in person to early voting. And she got that coveted sticker, which she saved and displayed proudly during the interview. “I lived in China for 30 years, so I never voted because it’s a one-party system there; you don’t get to vote,” she said. “Americans are so privileged to be able to vote; the democratic system is not perfect but it’s there.”

Staying focused amid challenges While voting in her first election as a US citizen was clearly a highlight of the past year, running a business during a global pandemic has been challenging, to say the least. Of course Vivian could never have known in December 2019 when she opened Kota Organics that a pandemic would take over the world just months later. 30

“Patrick was born four and a half years ago with a heart condition and had to be operated on right away,” she explained. “We spent four weeks in the NICU of Masonic Children Hospital in Minneapolis after he was born.”

ON THE MINDS OF MOMS | FEBRUARY • MARCH 2021

“I was just doing research and CBD showed up in the news talking about how it could help manage stress, PTSD and panic attacks,” she said. “CBD is still so stigmatized though, because people think it’s marajuana.” According to Healthline, tetrahydrocannabinol (THC) is psychoactive in cannabis but CBD is not psychoactive. CBD oil is extracted from the cannabis plant and diluted with another natural oil. As Vivian searched for options to buy quality products, she was disappointed with what she found. “I’m a mom, and I don’t want to be seen going into those smoke shops,” she explained.

HEALTH AND HAPPINESS

Vivian’s sons are Edward (6) and Patrick (4). Photo courtesy of Elisabeth Eden

ON THE MINDS OF MOMS | FEBRUARY • MARCH 2021

The Fellman family loves spending time outdoors and traveling, especially to China to visit family. Photo courtesy of Elisabeth Eden

ON THE MINDS OF MOMS | FEBRUARY • MARCH 2021

HEALTH AND HAPPINESS

We pay attention to what we cook and try to prepare healthy food. We try to have the (boys) help in the kitchen to give them an incentive to eat the meal. Vivian Fellman

“Plus, the CBD information was overwhelming and saying it’s a magic pill to get rid of everything, but that’s not true.” That’s what led her to open Kota Organics -- to be a platform to advocate for consumers like mothers and seniors dealing with health issues and seeking preventative, not reactive treatment, she said. Plus, opening a store that could help people live healthier, happier lives just made sense to her. “I hate to see people not have a healthy foundation,” she said. “If you don’t have health, you don’t get to enjoy life and live longer.” That philosophy is why Kota Organics follows up with all clients to see how the products are working and gather feedback about the products and services. “We want to see people come back and be happy with the products,” she said. The focus on high-quality ingredients also led to the development of their own premium organic CBD product line called KOTA (Kota) Botanics that the company recently launched.

Living healthy at home Vivian’s mission of living a healthy lifestyle and inspiring others to do so extends beyond her professional career; she and her husband encourage their sons to play sports, limit electronic devices and eat healthy food. “We pay attention to what we cook and try to prepare healthy food,” she explained. “We try to have them help in the kitchen to give them an incentive to eat the meal.” Part of the healthy lifestyle Vivian lives means connecting with her Chinese upbringing as much as possible. She said the Fellman family celebrates traditional Chinese holidays and she has been teaching her sons Mandarin. The family is also working to connect with other Chinese community members to create another network for celebrating and recognizing their unique heritage. The pandemic has made that challenging, but Vivian is focused on staying positive and looking toward the future when her family can travel again. Until that happens, Vivian finds adventure in helping people discover a healthy solution through the products at Kota Organics, being outside on a crisp winter day, or enjoying more time with her family at home, living life fully and happily together. ON THE MINDS OF MOMS | FEBRUARY • MARCH 2021

BALANCING SCREEN TIME

Having kids do non-screen activities engages their brain in a way that doesn’t involve a screen. iStock / Special to On the Minds of Moms

How to balance screen time at a time when screens connect us to everything

By Melissa Davidson

t’s a pandemic. Still. And we’ve been faced with some big challenges as we’ve been here

waiting to get to the other side of this new normal — back to our old normal. We all know our kids have experienced quite a big shift in day-to-day experiences as well, especially when it comes to screen time. 34

ON THE MINDS OF MOMS | FEBRUARY • MARCH 2021

But with this new way of life, where the landscapes of our homes, workspaces and schools have merged along with all the virtual tools we use for entertainment and to accomplish our daily tasks, what is an okay limit on screen time? What are the effects of too much screen time? How can you help set healthy expectations and limits as a parent? "It was a good push for us to implement these tools and use them more consistently,” said

BALANCING SCREEN TIME Laura Sokolofsky, Jefferson Elementary school counselor. “Overall, students have been very flexible, but we know technology for children of all ages may have been in their lives mostly as entertainment and fun. The switch we had with their three-days-a-week education may have been the tipping point for some.” Sokolofsky provides support to the school’s students, staff and parents, which since the pandemic, has become more demanding both in terms of counseling and helping families be successful with this new mode of learning. To manage the larger scale of need, the staff created a system of teachers who could check-in with families regularly to understand any needs or concerns they may have. This has allowed Sokolofsy to connect with more students for their own counseling needs. “The amount of online screen time completely changed for kids of all ages, not only for instruction and reading, but also for assignments,” she said. “Some were mentally overwhelmed by the technology itself, too.” Kelsey Hemberger, occupational therapist at Beyond Boundaries says that during the pandemic, many families have let screen time limits go out the window. “Kids now are often on screens more hours of the day than not,” she said. This means children are spending more time in sedentary activity and less time in creative, active play that Hemberger notes kids’ bodies need to thrive and develop. “Active and creative play engages all their senses and they need that to learn real-life skills, such as how to regulate emotions, behaviors and to give their nervous systems what they need to learn and develop,” Hemberger adds. Kids experience a whole range of negative effects with too much screen time, including poor attention, frustration, impulsiveness, poor posture, decreased fine motor skills and a decreased ability to regulate sensory input. It can even affect sleep patterns. “Screens are so engaging they trick your brain into thinking you are getting enough input

Too much screen time can be overwhelming for kids of all ages. iStock / Special to On the Minds of Moms

Kindergarten Enrollment Opens March 1

www.moorheadschools.org/enroll ON THE MINDS OF MOMS | FEBRUARY • MARCH 2021

RIGHT: Have kids use a screen for a new activity like dancing or a workout. iStock / Special to On the Minds of Moms LEFT: Make sure kids take frequent breaks from their screen, even if only for a few minutes. iStock / Special to On the Minds of Moms

throughout your day,” Hemberger said. “When a child is on a screen all day and then is supposed to transition to sleep, their body is not ready as it has not had a chance to move and get enough input in their body to transition to a calm and regulated state.”

• Set limits for screen time and update devices to time out after a certain amount of time.

But let’s be realistic: a lot of us have full-time jobs to do (now from home), on top of the other day-today tasks of keeping our homes from turning into shambles. We often just don’t have the energy. “It’s okay. We are in a pandemic and parenting during a pandemic is something none of us have had to do before,” Hemberger said. “We are all in the same boat and there are things we can work into our days to try to create some balance.”

• Find more activities to do as a family.

Increasing activities that empower sensory and regulations so learning, behavior and mental well-being flourishes are a great place to start. Playing will help develop children’s brains while creative activities help grow their selfconfidence, emotional well-being and coping strategies. Here are a few other tips: • Create a visual system of rewards and options to choose from for leisure-based activities. • Set up areas for your child to engage in non-screen activities such as crafts, Legos, obstacle courses, etc. 36

ON THE MINDS OF MOMS | FEBRUARY • MARCH 2021

• Reward time for completed chores or good behavior. • Get up and move.

• Vary the type of screen you are using. It’s okay to watch a workout or dance video to get your body moving! • Take frequent breaks to avoid long stretches of screen use. • Don’t let your child have a TV in their bedroom. So how do you know when you need to shift gears and get some of these activities into your child’s day? One of the biggest warning signs to look out for are meltdowns related to screen time limits or when screen time is up. If your child is only in a calm or regulated state when they’re on their screen or if they’re unable to occupy themselves without a screen those are red flags. Sneaking screen time when they’re not supposed to could be a warning sign as well.

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“I believe many of these technologies will remain after the pandemic,” Sokolofsky said. “Communication has increased immensely with our families and it’s easier to share with parents what their children are doing in the classroom. Even streaming our sports and high school activities so those unable to attend can watch would be great to see continue.” As parents, it’s important we know and understand what our kids are up against and, like everything else, help set the stage for their success. While this pandemic has thrown us many curve balls in that arena, we’re not alone in figuring these things out. Reach out to fellow parents and see what works for them or if you or or child is really struggling get help. “Occupational therapists are trained in providing holistic strategies to families to support wellbeing, daily routines, developing healthy habits, and promoting development,” Hemberger said. “We work with families to implement a balanced routine, decrease addictions to screens, and promote overall health and wellness.” ON THE MINDS OF MOMS | FEBRUARY • MARCH 2021

Answered prayers

Area teen recovering after baseball-sized tumor in brain removed

By Danielle Teigen

or nearly a year, Avery Moxness experienced debilitating headaches, strange neck and

shoulder pain, dizziness, ear pain and even occasional blackout vision. Yet she found no relief. In September, she and her mother, Erin, visited McCulley Optix Gallery for routine eye exams, and what the optometrist saw was so concerning, she recommended Avery go straight to the emergency room. During the in-take process, both Avery and Erin had had images taken with the practice's fairly new instrument that takes high-definition photos of the retina, and before meeting with her new patients, Dr. Melissa McCulley reviewed the images in her office. "I instantly looked and thought it didn't look like a good optic nerve," she said. "I explained to both Erin and Avery that this is very worrisome to me, and I recommend that you leave and go straight to the ER." Tears were shed, then Erin and Avery headed to the ER, feeling some fear but also possible relief that Avery might finally receive a diagnosis — and eventual treatment and relief — for an issue that had been plaguing her off and on since she was 5 years old. 38

ON THE MINDS OF MOMS | FEBRUARY • MARCH 2021

Armed with an image of her optic nerve and the name of a neuro ophthalmologist at Sanford Health, Avery underwent several tests before the doctor returned to say they should review the results in his office to deliver the news. "He said, 'We found a mass,'" Erin remembered. "I didn't think I was hearing correctly. He said it was a tumor with a large cyst on it, and it was about the size of a baseball on the right side of her head . . . it was pushing her brain through to the other hemisphere, pushing on her spine causing the back and neck pain, and fluid on the brain was causing the dizziness and the pressure on the optic nerve was causing the headaches." That was the evening of Sept. 16, and Avery was admitted to the pediatric ICU immediately with plans for doctors to assemble the next morning to determine a plan and course of treatment. By Sept. 18, Avery had surgery to remove the tumor. For Erin, the waiting was the worst part. "It was almost like the seven stages of grief," she said. "First I felt shock, then when we were told it was a mass I cried, then I was just stoic the whole time in front of Avery." Looking over at her daughter during the interview, she said, "I don't think Avery knows this, but I slept in the hospital room and at night, I would cry silently in the corner and pray, and then I'd wake up in the morning and be brave for Avery." Before surgery, doctors prepared the Moxness family that removing the tumor might result in Avery having to learn how to walk and talk and process information again; after the surgery,

ANSWERED PRAYERS doctors asked her to say her name, wiggle her toes, tell a story about something that had happened. She passed those tests with flying colors. "All of our prayers were answered," Erin said. Avery's recovery process required no screens — cell phones, computers or tablets could trigger her healing brain — so she kept her mind active with word puzzles and trying new games. She had stitches removed Sept. 30 and embarked fully on her road to recovery. Months later, Avery and her mother still can't believe the whirlwind that led to her diagnosis of a malignant by location tumor called pilocytic astrocytoma, which did have some cancer cells but was a grade 1, slow-growing tumor. Because of that, Avery needs to have an MRI every three months to make sure cancer cells do not grow back. For the busy senior at Sheyenne High School, life has mostly returned to normal (or as normal as things can be during a pandemic). Avery celebrated her golden birthday on Dec. 18, and Landon's Light Foundation surprised her with items and gift cards to help get her set up at college next year. She hasn't decided where she'll go, but she knows she wants to major in musical theater. For now, she's focusing on her college applications and getting ready for her school's next production. "I've had a really good support system, and that's so important," she said. That system includes neighbors who set up a Lend A Hand Up fundraiser to help with medical bills and a Meal Train to provide food. Bible study groups and prayer chains provided much needed encouragement and spiritual love for the family. "We are so thankful for family and friends and the community support," Erin said. "We are so blessed." And the Moxness family has made sure to keep McCulley informed of Avery's diagnosis and recovery since meeting her for the first

Avery Moxness gives a thumbs up as she recovers from brain surgery. Special to On the Minds of Moms

time in the exam room back in September. The relationship between doctor and patient (and patient's mom) has blossomed into a lovely friendship all three cherish. "I think this entire story is a true miracle," McCulley said. "I will never forget her and how well everything has turned out for the rest of my life. It's such a gift that I was in the right place at the right time with the right tools to help deal with this issue she'd been dealing with for years." Both Erin and McCulley stressed the importance of keeping up with routine care, even during a pandemic, because it can mean a life-saving or life-changing diagnosis. In Avery's case, a simple eye exam opened the door to providing her with a diagnosis that certainly changed her life, but also gave her a reason to be even more grateful this year. ON THE MINDS OF MOMS | FEBRUARY • MARCH 2021

Scott Brusven

RAD DAD

Fargo, N.D.

Dad plays all day in many important jobs

By Tracy Briggs

ost people probably wouldn’t feel comfortable directing a production of high school production of “Godspell,” only to turn around and whip up homemade chicken nuggets for 300, run a business and help your spouse run theirs. But most people aren’t Scott Brusven — a man who defies the laws of energy with his kinetic pace and enthusiasm for all of the jobs he does — four of them, thank you very much. Brusven, 38, is not only artistic director for theatre at Oak Grove Lutheran School in Fargo, he’s head chef for Oak Grove’s North Campus, which houses sixth through 12th grades. When he’s done with his workday, he is the self-described, “Chief Executive Doer of All Things” for his wife’s boutique rental business. And, oh yeah, in his spare time he just happens to run the theatre company he founded a couple of years ago called IGNITE Theatre. When Brusven, who grew up south of Fergus Falls, Minn. isn’t sitting in the director’s chair, donning the chef’s hat, crunching numbers for IGNITE or doing the heavy lifting for the boutique, he is husband to wife Carrie and father to two boys; Miles (12) and Simon (9). On the Minds of Moms managed to pin down Brusven for a few minutes to get his thoughts on his very busy life and what drives him to keep going. You obviously wear a lot of hats; do you have a main job? My main job is artistic director of theatre at Oak Grove Lutheran School. While most will say that title also means I am the technical director, 40

ON THE MINDS OF MOMS | FEBRUARY • MARCH 2021

sometimes the choreographer, often the graphic designer and, ultimately, the producer. All in all, I get to play. I wouldn’t change any of it. I am blessed to have been given the opportunity to grow and to craft a K-12 theatre program from the ground up. When I started there five years ago, we had 36 students involved in theatre. Since then we have cultivated shows for our elementary, middle school and high school students. This past season, before COVID hit our stages, we had almost 250 students active in the theatre arts. My biggest joy is watching them tell stories and find their own passion. But you also took on the role of chef at the school. Are you a foodie? Two years ago, I had an opportunity to work part time in the kitchen at Oak Grove. I love food. I have always been interested in cooking and was always intrigued by the idea of cooking for a lot of people all at once. When the opportunity came up at Oak Grove, Executive Chef Kelley Peterson wanted to change up school food. She wanted to make more and more food from scratch. It was this idea that made me say yes. From that moment on we’ve been making 300 meals a day, mostly from scratch. Yes, there are school food staples that still make it to the menu, but we are energized everyday knowing that we can feed the students and staff “Cool School Food” as we like to call it. As far as being a foodie goes, I like to have fun in the kitchen. Sometimes we try new things, sometimes the recipe changes each time we make it. All in all, we have a blast serving up good food that fills the stomach and the soul.

Scott Brusven is artistic director for theatre at Oak Grove Lutheran as well as head chef. He also helps with his wife’s business and is raising two sons. Photo courtesy of Ten Little Chickens Photography

ON THE MINDS OF MOMS | FEBRUARY • MARCH 2021

RAD DAD It’s not all work, right? What do you do for fun as a family? Our family loves to be outside. As often as we can, we will load up our car and find a state park to camp in. Each summer we try to go on one long trip. The summer before COVID we made the trip through the Badlands to Mount Rushmore. One of our favorite annual trips is to head deep into Voyageurs National Park in northern Minnesota. You get to reserve a camping spot on one of many islands and you can only get there by boat. We also love to play games and cards, visit our families, spend time at the lake at my parents’ home on Clitherall Lake, and every Friday we sit down for pizza and movie night. You described your upbringing with a “tight and loving family.” What did you learn about parenting from your own parents? My parents always led with love, compassion and support. I can count on one hand the number of times my dad raised his voice to me. So when he did I knew I was in trouble. They both led our family with respect and understanding. I learned the power of talking things out and how to work through struggles this way. They live their lives

The Brusven family includes dad Scott, mom Carrie and boys Simon (9) and Miles (12). Photo courtesy of Ten Little Chickens Photography

as a couple and as parents with mutual respect for one another and for us. Are there times in raising your own kids where you think, "I sound just like my mom or dad?” All the time.

It sounds like you’re pretty busy, but you make time to help your wife with her business? Tell us about that.

How and when did you meet Carrie?

Carrie is the owner and designer for Gathered Boutique Rentals in Moorhead. As a small business owner with a big dream, she set out to be the first to bring the idea of boutique rentals to the Fargo-Moorhead area eight years ago. It has been an incredible journey for us as a couple, and as a family, as the business continues to grow year after year. Watching Carrie live out her passion and dream has been an incredible experience.

we met always throws people for a loop. We

ON THE MINDS OF MOMS | FEBRUARY • MARCH 2021

I met my wife Carrie the summer between my sophomore and junior year of college. Where met at Valleyfair in Shakopee, Minn.. She was a lifeguard and I was a ride supervisor for the WildThing. During the early weeks of the summer the lifeguards have to work rides until it was warm enough for the waterpark to open. So, Carrie was assigned to help out at the WildThing, and the rest was history. I was smitten pretty quickly after meeting her.

RAD DAD You said growing up you were involved in everything from sports, 4-H and the arts. Are your boys busy with activities?

because of it, and I am a passionate advocate for

Miles plays piano, the upright and electric bass, football and baseball, and loves reading and listening to audiobooks. Simon plays piano, loves to dance to any beat, plays football and baseball, and is a crafter and painter.

I honor it, and I feel so blessed to be part of the

it. It is part of my DNA. So when I get to share my love for the arts with someone, I cherish it,

My boys also love theatre. They’ve been bitten by the bug! They come to see every show multiple times! Simon, my youngest, knows more lyrics to the musicals than I do. They also love to come help build the sets on Saturday mornings during our work calls and they’ve been in many musicals themselves.

creation of these stories. Creative skills are one of the most important skills needed to be successful in any industry. Ultimately, children need imagination to grow, create, think and play. Theatre is the single most valuable place where kids can explore the endless possibilities of their imaginations and what they can do. I have had the opportunity to use what I have been given to create each and every day. I get

What do you love about theater? What do children, including your own, get out of being in the arts?

to stretch my overactive imagination, bring

I, for one, can’t imagine a life without theatre or art. I live it, I breathe it, I don’t sleep much

of humanity and empathy. I literally get to play

places to life and tell incredible, enchanting and powerful stories. I also get to be a teacher every day.

Kindergarten Registration for 2021-22 Online registration for Fall 2021 is open! Child must be age 5 by July 31, 2021 to attend school in the fall. Registration is a two-step process:

STEP 1: REGISTER ONLINE Complete registration forms at

www.fargo.k12.nd.us/registration

STEP 2: SUBMIT DOCUMENTATION

Upload or bring the following documents to your child’s school* before August 25 to finalize registration:

OO LS

FA R G

BLIC S C H

Child’s certified birth certificate Child’s immunization record, with 5-year shots Document (i.e. current city utility bill or bank statement) that includes parent/guardian name and current address to verify the correct school *For assistance, please contact your child’s school to schedule an appointment to complete inperson. (Masks are required for all visitors.) If you do not know which school your child will attend, call 446-1043 or check online at www.fargo.k12.nd.us/boundarymaps. If you need PowerSchool help, please call 446-1030. ON THE MINDS OF MOMS | FEBRUARY • MARCH 2021

READY, SET, GROW

How to establish healthy eating habits at all ages By Alicia Strnad Hoalcraft, Melissa Davidson, Paula Quam and Tracy Briggs

ll parents know their growing kids need good, healthy food to help fuel their bodies and minds, but getting children to eat good, healthy food can be a challenge itself. Here are some ideas for how to help kids of all ages understand the importance of what they eat and how to encourage a palette for many different types of food.

ON THE MINDS OF MOMS | FEBRUARY â&#x20AC;˘ MARCHâ&#x20AC;&#x192;2021

Photos courtesy of Shutterstock. ON THE MINDS OF MOMS | FEBRUARY • MARCH 2021

READY, SET, GROW

Exposing a baby to different flavors and textures can help increase what foods they will eat later.

Wee ones [0-18 months]

Recommendations for feeding your baby are often confusing for new parents - breastmilk or formula? Rice cereal or straight to mashed food? Meat or no meat? Avoid common allergens as long as possible or introduce them early? The CDC recommends waiting until baby is 6 months old before introducing foods other than breastmilk or formula, and even then to introduce foods slowly. Make sure your child can sit up unassisted, has good control of their head and will move their head toward offered food on a spoon. The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends introducing one food at a time and waiting 3 to 5 days between each new food to make it easier to identify any allergic reactions or stomach upset caused by a food. Most medical groups agree that there’s no reason to delay trying the eight major allergens (milk, eggs, fish, shellfish, tree nuts, peanuts, wheat, and soybeans) unless you have a family history of allergic reactions to one or more of these foods. If allergies are an issue in your family, talk to your pediatrician to determine how to proceed. The AAP and other organizations say exposure to a variety of flavors and textures has been shown to increase the range of foods kids like as they grow. Some foods, like honey, unpasteurized drinks or food, and any fortified cow’s milk as these products pose significant risks to children, 46

ON THE MINDS OF MOMS | FEBRUARY • MARCH 2021

iStock / Special to On the Minds of Moms especially those under a year of age. They also recommend limiting foods with high sugar or salt contents.

Help kids understand the difference between foods to eat frequently and those that should be eaten only occasionally.

Around 18 months is when the real fun with food begins with kids. They have a clear sense of what they like, they’re able to feed themselves and articulate what they want. This can also mean, though, the start of pickiness and the start of kids showing preferences for foods that aren’t in the best interest of their long-term health. Offering a wide variety of foods in terms of colors, textures and food groups remains incredibly important in this age group. Ensuring the conversation in your home around food is based on judgment-free discussion of their value in our diets and avoiding power struggles over food are a big part of using this time in your child’s life to help them build healthy food habits and attitudes.

How do you talk about food? How you discuss food in your home at this age can stay with your child, whether you’re talking about food as good, bad, gross or a treat. The U.S. National Heart, Lung, and Blood Institute (part of the National Institutes of Health) suggests talking about food as “go,” “slow” and “whoa” foods. Go foods we can eat any time. Slow foods we should eat less often. Whoa foods should be eaten sparingly. For example, a serving of fat-free yogurt can be eaten daily. Frozen yogurt is OK a few times a week. Ice cream, however, is best in moderation so it should be eaten less often. Banning foods for being “unhealthy” or “bad” can lead kids to feel judgmental about themselves when they eat those foods, so the experts recommend instead discussing foods in terms of how often it’s best to eat them. Help kids understand this concept by watching Sesame Street’s Cookie Monster sing “A Cookie is a Sometimes Food.” You can reinforce go foods by

READY, SET, GROW

Tots

[18 months to 3 years] putting out a stash of healthy foods in baskets in the kitchen or an area of the fridge they can access. Make sure kids also have a way to get water easily throughout the day to teach them to use this beverage to stay hydrated without adding extra sugar or calories.

What to do with a picky eater It’s very normal for kids to be picky about their food. Continue to offer a variety of foods and implement a one-bite rule asking your child to try each food offered. If they say they still don’t like the food after that bite, don’t force them to eat more. Toddlers have to try food as many as 10 times before they like them. Try mixing the food into something they do already like - broccoli on its own might not be appealing, but finely chopped broccoli inside macaroni and cheese can be more palatable. Having one food your child will eat on the table each meal — even if it’s just bread — also helps head off power struggles. You do not need to make a second full meal for a picky kid, but consider having a simple meal they can have if they decline the main meal - a sandwich, low-sugar cereal, or a small plate of meat, cheese, fruit and whole-grain crackers. Over time, most kids will grow out of this picky phase. If your child doesn’t, consult a pediatrician about potential sensory issues and to discuss healthy eating strategies for your child’s needs. ON THE MINDS OF MOMS | FEBRUARY • MARCH 2021

READY, SET, GROW

Win the dinner battle by getting creative with how food is presented to your preschooler.

Preschoolers [3 to 5 years old]

They’re picky, they’re often bossy and let’s be real: difficult to deal with. But, that doesn’t mean getting a feisty kiddos started on the right foot with healthy food is impossible. Here are some tips that may help in convincing your toddler to eat well. Good luck!

Presentation is everything We can all agree, that if something doesn’t look appetizing we’re not quite jazzed up to give it a taste. For kids these ages, that certainly rings true. A haphazard plate full of vegetables. No thank you. A vegetable caterpillar? Yes please! To a preschooler, sitting down to eat is quite boring, which means it’s tough to get them to eat to begin with and even tougher to get them to try new foods. Presenting meals in a fun manner can go a long way in keeping your child focused on eating. Pinterest is a great resource for ideas, but if you’re short on time consider interactive plates, such as the Fred Dinner Winner plates that make eating a game.

even cracking eggs. Try to keep them involved in preparing their own food and get them even more excited by giving them their own special apron and chef’s hat! It all sets the stage for receptiveness come time to eat.

Have options As parents we often sacrifice healthy food just to ensure we keep our little ones alive. No judgement, because it can be exhausting! When introducing new flavors or dishes to your child, consider offering other options, too, including those you know they’ll like. They’ll get to try a new food and you won’t have to worry about your little one going hungry.

Don’t give up If you’re faced with a particularly picky eater, don’t give up. There are many ways to prepare and season foods so keep the trial and error coming. Eating is a multi-sensory experience for kiddos—sight, taste, smell—and as they’re

Get them involved in the fun

changing and growing developmentally so

Kids these ages thrive at helping out with the basics; measuring and pouring, stirring and

do their perceptions. What may have been

ON THE MINDS OF MOMS | FEBRUARY • MARCH 2021

“inedible” one day, could be tasty later on.

READY, SET, GROW

Get kids involved in the planning of meals as well as the making to spark interest in healthy eating.

Big kids [6 to 9 years old]

These years are a great time to get those busy little bodies more involved in the kitchen and educated about how the foods they eat impact their health. We all know setting a good example is part of the equation, but many times that doesn’t equate to excitement at the dinner table. Here are a few tips to spark and maintain their interest.

Plan together Let them help with the meal planning process. There are several great cookbooks geared toward kiddos, including “The Complete Baking Book For Young Chefs,” “The Complete Cookbook for Young Chefs,” and “The Big Fun Kids Cookbook.” Look through these and websites and allow your child to pick recipes they want to try. Develop a weekly (or if you fly by the seat of your pants, daily) menu plan that your child can write out on a whiteboard or chalkboard.

Keep them involved It may be scary to think of your child using knives and stirring hot food on the stove, but with supervision and the right tools they can take on more responsibility than you might think. Look for starter knife sets to help them safely learn proper cutting techniques. Kids can also help read recipes, measure ingredients and stir

food. Keep in mind, most kids these ages aren’t at an ergonomic height for these activities, so using a stool will ensure they can see what they’re doing and that they can safely participate.

Let them create The kitchen is a great place for creativity. Get the juices flowing with prompts, such as “how would you make a healthy ‘donut.’ If your kids are into pretend play you can also be the restaurant guest and they can be your server and cook. When they make some tasty creations give them their own blank notebook so they can jot down their tasty recipes.

Eat and talk Eating together as a family is not only a great opportunity to connect and learn about each other’s day, it’s also a great time to talk about the food you’re eating. Discuss the health benefits of the foods you’ve prepared and why that’s important for their bodies and brains. Ask them what their thoughts were on the food and if they didn’t like it discuss new ways to prepare it such as broccoli stir fry instead of steamed broccoli. When we eat healthy we feel good and our bodies and brains can function at optimal capacity. If you want to dig into the details of specific vitamins and minerals kidshealth.org is a great resource.

ON THE MINDS OF MOMS | FEBRUARY • MARCH 2021

READY, SET, GROW

Help tweens understand what nutrition labels are really saying by walking through the information with them.

Tweeners [10 to 12 years old]

At this age, it starts to become harder and harder to monitor what kids are putting in their mouths. They may be grabbing their own snacks and packing their own lunches now, so as they become a little more independent, it’s important that their habits harden the right way. These are formative years, for sure.

Finishing their plates Just because many of us had parents who made us clean our plates, doesn’t mean we must carry this practice forward. It’s okay to let kids self-regulate their own hunger systems. If they’re full, why force more on them? If there’s dessert, you know they’ll already be consuming additional calories, so why insist they pile on more? It’s good to make them eat at least some of the actual meal, but there’s nothing wrong with dishing them up smaller portions and going from there. Unless they’re at risk of being malnourished and underweight, there’s no need to force more on them.

Learning the labels Even adults can be tricked into buying “healthy” food based on misleading packaging. Teaching kids to read the label on packaged food can give them a better understanding of whether or not they’re actually making a good choice. Aspartame? Not good. Partially hydrogenated oil? It’s actually trans fat. Help them understand that 50

ON THE MINDS OF MOMS | FEBRUARY • MARCH 2021

the calories listed are “per serving” and are often not indicative of the entire thing. Make it a game of wits with your way-too-smart-to-be-fooled kids being able to detect what’s really going on there.

Make it about the benefit Knowing what’s bad in foods is important, but knowing what’s good in them is even better. A vague, “Eat this because it’s good for you” statement isn’t going to get motivational juices flowing. Try this: “Did you know that the antioxidants found in blueberries are proven to help people remember things better? It’s literally brain food!” or “Did you know that if you eat these sweet potatoes, your body will turn them into Vitamin A, which helps make your hair healthy and grow faster?”

Set a good example They’re looking at you, mom. Don’t do the whole “Do as I say, not as I do” thing here. If you want them to develop healthy eating habits, you’ve got to model them yourself. If you want them to love their bodies no matter what’s going on, then you can’t criticize yourself. If it makes you cringe to hear your child say, “I’m fat”, then realize how much it makes them cringe to hear you say the same thing. Teach your child what it means to love yourself inside and out, and that it’s as important to feed the heart and soul as it is to feed the body.

READY, SET, GROW

Combat the influence of media with open, honest communication about food and eating habits.

Teens [13 to 18 years old]

The teen years are among the most difficult to

good or bad – this feeds into a diet mentality and

foster a healthy relationship with food. Teens are

can lead to anxiety or shame, over-exercising

just getting used to their new, more grown up

to burn off calories, or skipping meals. Try your

bodies when they’re bombarded with flawless,

best to eat fruits, vegetables and lean protein,

filtered and photoshopped media images of what

but understand having a slice of cheesecake once

they’re ‘supposed’ to look like. When they’re

in a while won’t kill you.

not gazing at images, they’re learning about the latest fad diets on social media. So how can moms and dads combat this? Here are some tips from the Adolescent Health Center at Mount Sinai. Parents and teens should both follow these guidelines. Teens still see what you do more than hear what you say.

Shift your mindset Think about your own relationship with food. Do you ever tell your teen “I feel guilty because I had an extra cookie at lunch.” or “I chose the burger instead of the salad, I’m so bad,” It’s common. Many people associate food with

Tune in Mindful eating is all about tuning into your body and learning to find pleasure and joy in eating. • When you’re eating, be present with your body. Instead of rushing to finish or mindlessly watching TV, concentrate on your food’s smells, tastes and textures. • Learn your own fullness cues, then push away the fork. Package up the rest for another meal. • Learn your hunger cues. Eat when you’re hungry, even if it’s just a small snack. Your body will work more efficiently when you start to pay attention to real cues.

stress, shame and guilt. But knock it off.

Be compassionate

Food doesn’t have to be a constant source of

Simply put, give yourself a break. Next time you

stress. At its best, food fuels you and brings

or your teen starts beating themselves up for

friends, families and even communities together.

a poor food choice, ask “Would I say this to my

Ditch the rules and expectations

best friend if she ate too many French fries?” Most likely, the answer is “no.” Show some self

Give yourself permission to eat. You need good,

compassion and understand you can’t be perfect

healthy food to survive. Try not to label foods as

all the time. ON THE MINDS OF MOMS | FEBRUARY • MARCH 2021

Hospice

Helping individuals and their loved ones make EVERY DAY MATTER during the last days, weeks or months of life.

companionship

(It was) a during COVID when we couldn't be there. o They loved my dad, the people who took care of him â&#x20AC;Ś my dad loved the nurses and CNAs. I did NOT worry. I didn't worry about Ethos, because they were for him. also a

big advocate

- Kristen, daughter of a former hospice patient

LEARN MORE about Ethos Hospice or schedule a free informational session at 701.356.3803. ethoscare.org/hospice