This, too, shall pass…..
I PROMISE F
By Kathleen Wrigley
ake News: Parting your hair on the side and/ or wearing yoga pants is now considered “out and old.” Pshaw. This perimenopausal girl has standards. Goodness. As if the “change of life” symptoms aren’t unforgiving enough for middle-aged women. I refuse to look like Alfalfa with my hair parted down the middle to fit in. Trend or no trend, I am out. Still, I have a conundrum. I am 50. Our youngest daughter, Harper, recently turned 13. Think about the lifespan development and our discrepancy. Let it sink in. Life is playing a cruel joke on both of us. The ebbs and flows of hormones and estrogen fill our days. Harper’s levels are shucking and jiving while her mom’s are spiraling and combative, hot flashes of sweat dripping from my chin. The only thing “thinning” on me these days is my uterus. My ovaries are in the life-stage development of shrivel and dry. I cry when a stranger blesses me for sneezing in the grocery store (God’s people are everywhere!) and simultaneously want to key a car for someone who doesn’t think to hold the store door for me (Satan lives!). Oh, yes. I am indeed a vision. Literally, a hot mess. This too shall pass, they tell us. In like…10 years. Oh, for Heaven’s sake.
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ON THE MINDS OF MOMS | APRIL • MAY 2021
My mom, a retired nurse of 50 years, coined the comment, “Girls are slaves to their ovaries for life.” I recall being in high school when my mom was experiencing perimenopausal symptoms. I listened to and watched my mom with such bewilderment when she told me, “It’s not you. It is me. I don’t even like myself right now. It will pass. Be patient with me.” Thirty-five years later, I understand that statement with every raging and plummeting hormone in my body. From the other side, puberty whiplashes my baby girl. From snuggle bunny full of PDAs (public displays of affection) and baby talk to eye-rolling, I now hear one-word grunts of annoyed response and see chilling recollections of my own teenaged facial expressions of shock and awe. Puberty and perimenopause are cleverly aligned in our house, colliding under one roof. Perhaps in yours, too. While there may not be a magic wand for balancing the roller coaster of emotions, it does not have to be all doom and gloom. I am comforted and even assured by seeing how many women and families survive these years of their lives! I found some helpful survival tips on a blog, Menopause Chicks, titled: Puberty-Perimenopausal Smackdown. Feel free to leave these lying around your home for your housemates to read — Harper loves to talk about hormones. Psych.
Survival Kit: • Try not to project: “Isn’t puberty awful?” or “Perimenopause is no big deal.” Neither one of these comments is helpful. Everyone’s ride on the hormonal teeter-totter is different and unique. Empathize, but try not to pretend you know exactly what the other person is going through.
