April/May 2019 On the Minds of Moms by on the minds of moms

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twenty nineteen

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MATERNITY CARE LIKE NOWHERE ELSE Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s not about what happened before today: the best-laid plans, the endless decisions, the hesitations, the hopes, the what-ifs and what-nows. All that matters is what happens now. All that matters is this moment when everything changes. The Birthing Center at Essentia Health â&#x20AC;&#x201D; nurturing every moment.

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contents

in every issue

food for thought . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 14 event calendar . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 16 shutterbug

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 20

contents

sections gettin’ through it closing the gap– knowing the details on diastasis recti . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 22

this & that mom friends: who’s in your all-star lineup? . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 26

resources connect, find help, get answers, make a difference . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 30

ready, set, grow

vacation 411 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 42

contents

feature & profiles

mompreneur rachel olson interact therapy . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 10

cover story trina michels living with a gratitude attitude . . . . . . . . . . . 32

photos: exposures by j.linnea | josette hayes

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PUBLISHER DS Communication, LLC EDITORS Sheri Kleinsasser Stockmoe p: 701.306.1624 e: sheri@onthemindsofmoms.com Dani Parkos Fluge e: dani@onthemindsofmoms.com

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ADVERTISING Patty Nystrom p: 701.269.4180 e: patty@onthemindsofmoms.com Sheri Kleinsasser Stockmoe p: 701.306.1624 e: sheri@onthemindsofmoms.com

PHOTOGRAPHY Renee Clasen – ten little chickens photography Josette Hayes–exposures by j.linnea Scott Thuen-thuen studios DESIGN AND LAYOUT

Scott Thuen – thuen studios www.thuenstudios.com

AD DESIGN Casie Beldo Scott Thuen Tara Kessler Stephanie Drietz CONTACT mail: PO Box 190, Fargo, ND 58107 e: hello@onthemindsofmoms.com p: 701.297.2138 SUBSCRIPTION print www.onthemindsofmoms.com/subscribe digital issuu.com/onthemindsofmoms

COVER PHOTO BY Renee Clasen – ten little chickens photography

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OTMOM MISSION STATEMENT On The Minds Of Moms Magazine is dedicated to providing parents of all ages a bimonthly resource they can trust. A fresh approach to traditional parenting publications, we are modern and inspiring while offering a community of local support and real-life advice for today’s family. On The Minds Of Moms contains views from across the parenting spectrum. These views do not necessarily reflect those of the publisher. All activities listed in these pages are at your own risk and require appropriate supervision. OTMOM is a publication available at all Fargo-Moorhead Hornbacher's, Family Fare, and Grand Forks–East Grand Forks Hornbacher's and Hugo's grocery store locations. Distribution also includes all partnering advertisers. Copyright 2019 All Rights Reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced without written permission from the publisher. On The Minds Of Moms is a trademark registered at the U.S. Patent and Trademark Office.

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native of Munich, ND, Rachel Olson grew up on the family farm alongside her two sisters and two brothers. She continued her education at the University of Minnesota, Duluth receiving a master’s degree in Speech

Pathology and minor in Coaching. Rachel has been a speech-language pathologist for 11 years, working in the private pediatric therapy setting her entire career. Almost two years ago she founded Interact Therapy which provides speech, occupational, and physical therapy to children ages 0-21. Services can be provided in your F-M area home, daycare, or the Interact Therapy clinic in West Fargo. In addition to Rachel, the Interact Therapy team includes six employees that Rachel describing as “hardworking and talented young ladies” that consist of speech pathologists, occupational therapists, and physical therapists. Away from work you can find Rachel at the gym, baking or doing what she loves most which is spending time with her boys: husband Aaron and their three sons Sawyer [7], Lincoln [5], and Walter [22 months].

photos: exposures by j.linnea | josette hayes

rachel olson interact therapy, west fargo.nd

what inspired you to open interact therapy? I have had the dream and goal of starting my own company for years, but I always used the excuse “someday.” After quite a few “someday” years later, an opportunity presented itself and I just knew it was God leading me in that direction. I am so happy I listened to Him because these last two years challenged me professionally and that is what I was wanting. This whole process of starting this company is not just about my own satisfaction and growth. It is about helping other therapists open up opportunities to lead and develop a new set of skills for their own career. It is about giving families in the F-M area a place to receive high-end services by experienced and educated therapists.

mom preneur

ness, social interaction is vital to human health and the wellbeing of everyone. It plays an important role in learning, reciprocal teaching, and behavior modeling. The right interactive environment will help children develop strong language skills, social intelligence, confidence, and creativity. All of these things are what I am molding this company to offer to children in the F-M area.

what is your strongest mompreneur skill? Being very organized.

why did you name your business interact therapy? Honestly, I gave my husband four choices and within 24 hours we picked this one. HA! But in all serious-

Helping to

protect

what matters

most

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Home • Auto • Business • Farm • Health • Life april • may twenty nineteen | on the minds of moms

mod mom

what is the most important lesson you’ve learned as a business owner?

away from the daily grind of business what might we find you doing?

That I can always do better and be better.

In the winter months you will find me in my kitchen baking with my boys and in the summer you will find me at the lake with my family.

what motivates you each morning to go to work? I want my husband, boys, and family to be proud of what I do and accomplish every day. They are the reason I do what I do.

how do you balance work and family life? Honestly, I have not found the perfect balance or boundary between work and home life yet, but I’m working on my time management skills. Both my business and family need my attention and neither can be overlooked. They are two completely different worlds and it is important I give my best to both.

what does your typical work day consist of? The cool thing about my job is that each day is different. I start and end my day as a mom and wife, but in the middle it varies. I travel to multiple locations where I come in contact with various families and individuals who are all part of my client’s team. I really enjoy the fast pace and variety that my job entails.

what is the most rewarding part of your business? It is such a high to see your client reach a goal and know that you had a little something to do with their success.

do you think there are any misconceptions in your field?

www.onthemindsofmoms.com

As a Speech-Language Pathologist we often get overlooked that we are the experts in not only speech and language [which is right in our name] but we are also highly skilled in feeding issues.

on the minds of moms | april • may twenty nineteen

what makes interact therapy unique? Experience and Relationships. We focus on providing high-quality therapy and working together with our clients and their families to give the best service we can.

what do you hope you are teaching your kids as they watch you be a mompreneur? I am trying to teach them determination. I want to encourage them to do things that do not come easily [for me, it was starting a business with little to no background in business management] and help set up an environment that will give them the opportunities to put themselves in situations where they can receive personal growth.

what is the best advice you have gotten as a mom? Try not to compare your children with others. It is hard to do, I know, but each are so different and talented in their own way. Be there to support each of your children in a way that highlights their strengths while encouraging them to improve upon their weaknesses.

what is the most important parenting lesson you have learned working with so many children and their families over the years? To be patient and flexible. Interact Therapy 701.866.4934 3139 Bluestem Dr l West Fargo www.interact-therapy.com

mod mom

food for thought

photo: thuen studiosâ&#x20AC;&#x201A; | scott thuen

breakfast cookies shared by | otmom

etting the kids ready in the morning can deter the best of breakfast intentions for both you and your family. The solution is preparing fast and healthy breakfast dishes that easily fit into your crazy morning routine. Make these breakfast cookies on the weekend and enjoy them during the week ahead. You can even make extra and freeze for later.

you need: 1 cup firmly packed light brown sugar 2-1/2 cups plain rolled oats 4 cups all-purpose flour * 1 tablespoon baking soda 1 teaspoon baking powder 1 teaspoon salt 1-1/2 teaspoons ground cinnamon 1/4 cup canola oil 1 cup applesauce 2 tablespoons water 5 egg whites 1-1/2 teaspoons vanilla extract 3/4 cup dried cranberries 1/3 cup dried raisins [or any other dried fruit] *substitute with whole wheat flour 3/4 cup plus 2 tablespoons of whole wheat flour for each 1 cup of all purpose flour makes 3 dozen cookies

how to: 1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees. 2. Combine oats with flour, baking soda, baking powder, salt, and cinnamon. 3. Stir in oil, applesauce, water, egg whites, and vanilla. Mix in cranberries, and raisins until well combined. 4. Drop batter by the tablespoonful onto baking sheet and bake 8 to 12 minutes or until golden. Let cookies cool on wire racks. Store completely cooled cookies in an airtight container. balance it with: Something with protein like yogurt, low fat cheese stick, glass of skim or low fat milk, or hardboiled egg.

You Be You www.biogirls.org/youbeyou

april events

SchoolsAlive! Family Fun Night www.facebook.com/ events/316898679170604/ Does your family have SPRING FEVER? Get up, Get out & MOVE with us! Join this fun and FREE event at Fargo Agassiz Gym [1305 9th Av S, Fargo], 5:30pm-7:30pm. Hosted by South East Education Cooperative and SchoolsAlive, Get out of the house and join us in an evening full of healthy, active family fun. Learn about healthy community partners, enjoy games, activities, prizes, and more! Plus Great door prizes and tons of activities! No Registration Required.

Join BIO Girls at the Avalon Events Center [2525 9th Av S, Fargo], 6pm-9pm, for a not-so-formal fundraiser gala celebrating girls. This family-friendly event welcomes adults and children ages 7+. Fun for the entire family including special guest speaker, Carrie Tollefson, 2004 Olympian in the 1500 meters! Semi-formal, but wear your sneakers! BIO Girls stands for beauty—inside and out— and helps girls ages 7-12 build self-esteem. Take one night to help them. Dinner, speaker, silent auction, kids’ carnival and more.

5-7

El Zagal Shrine Circus www.fargoshrinecircus.com The Cindy Migley’s circus spectacular starts today at the FARGODOME! [1800 N University Dr, Fargo.] High-wire and trapeze acts, clowns, elephants, cotton candy, and much more!

well as diaper-changing techniques. They will also learn when to call 911 and what will happen if they do need emergency assistance. The course is designed for young babysitters ages 11–15. Limited space. Register online.

Going Beyond Live with Priscilla Shirer www.fargohope.org/women Bible teacher and best-selling author Priscilla Shirer will help women find spiritual refreshment alongside thousands of women from all walks of life. Take in this simulcast at Hope Lutheran South [3636 25th St S, Fargo], 9am-4:30pm. $25 thru March 27, then $30. Lunch and snacks Included. Items will be collected for an April Shower Drive for Down Home. Down Home furnishes and decorates homes for families transitioning from homelessness into housing. We invite the following donations (new items only please): shower curtains and liners, shower curtain hooks and rods, bathroom garbage cans, toothbrush holders, and bathroom accessories.

Pint-Size Explorers: Who’s That? www.redriverzoo.org Whooo is that is the Discovery Barn? Today will be a hoot as we explore owls and other Nocturnal animals. Local residents of the zoo will guide us through the barn to discover night-time nature and how they see in the night. Pint-Size Explorers [ages 4-6] come and explore outdoor sections of the Red River Zoo [4255 23rd Av S, Fargo], 10am-11:30am or 3pm-4:30pm.

Red Cross CPR, First Aid and AED Combo Class www.familywellnessfargo.org

www.onthemindsofmoms.com

Ages 15+ Prepare for the unexpected and gain the knowledge and skills needed for effective leadership in the event of an emergency! This course at Family Wellness [2960 Seter Parkway], 6:30pm-10:30pm will prepare you to recognize and care for a variety of first aid, breathing, and cardiac emergencies involving infants, children, and adults. Topics include how to recognize and manage an emergency situation, basic first aid, standard emergency care procedures and administration, CPR, AED, and more. After completion of this class, you will be certified for two years in Red Cross CPR, AED, and First Aid for adults, children, and infants. $44 Members/ $95 Nonmembers Register online.

11 & 12

Little-Squirt Science www.fargolibrary.org Preschoolers ages 3-5 are invited to learn about their world & science at this event geared just for them. Science activities and stories will provide a little knowledge and a lot of fun for youngsters! 11am-noon at the Dr. James Carlson Library [2801 32nd Av S, Fargo] on the 11th or at the Main Library [102 3rd St N, Fargo] on the 12th. All materials provided. Space is limited; pre-registration is required. Register online or call for details.

Kids Healthy Cooking: Mix and Match Mini Fruit Tarts www.familywellnessfargo.org Ages 5+ [ages 5-7 must be accompanied by an adult] come to Family Wellness [2960 Seter Parkway, Fargo], 10am-11am, and make delightfully sweet fruit tarts with a graham cracker crust! $12 Members/$20 Nonmembers.

Orienteering Youth Camp www.fargoairmuseum.org This free camp at Fargo Air Museum [1609 19th Av N, Fargo] is focused on Orienteering. This camp is tailored for two different age groups, 6–10 [10am-noon) and 11–18 [10:15am-3pm]. Camp is free for those who pre-register, walk-in admission for the camp is $15. Most camps are eligible for a Boy Scout merit badge. Register online.

Awesome Art Afternoon www.fargoparks.com Love art but hate the mess? Bring your child to Robert D. Johnson Recreation Center [1104 2nd Av S, Fargo], 1pm-3pm for an interactive art program and have fun while building a variety of take-home projects. All creative materials will be provided. This program is free thanks to a grant from Xcel Energy. Adult supervision required.

Easter Eggstravaganza www.ymcacassclay.org Head to Fercho YMCA [400 1st Av S, Fargo], 2pm-4pm, for tons of fun with bouncy houses, Easter arts and crafts, swimming, face painting, photo booth with the Easter Bunny, and more! Parents/ guardians and kids under the age of 2 get in for free! All ages welcome, but event is geared towards ages 3-8. Cost: members $8 & nonmembers: $10

All event listings displayed within OTMOM are carefully selected to provide diverse options for families. More events found online at www.onthemindsofmoms.com/event-calendar. It is always a good idea to call ahead to confirm the information provided. Although it is not possible to list every event happening in the FM area, we encourage organizations to submit events for consideration to events@onthemindsofmoms.com

on the minds of moms | april • may twenty nineteen

14 & 28

Healthy Moms for Healthy Babies www.sanfordhealth.org/ classes-and-events The Healthy Moms for Healthy Babies series at Sanford Southpointe Clinic [2400 32nd Av S, Fargo] will focus on giving you the tools to develop a healthy lifestyle now and to commit to lifelong changes. Stress & Anxiety Management is offered 2:30pm-3:30pm on the 14th and Prenatal Yoga is offered 4pm-5pm on the 14th and 28th.

Easter Egg Hunt www.wfparks.org Hunt for Easter eggs, meet the Easter Bunny and play on the inflatable games Veterans Memorial Arena, [1201 7th Ave E, West Fargo], 4:30pm-7pm. Also enjoy a bunny and baby chick area, cupcake walk, face painting, and crafts. This event is for kids ages 2-8. Concession will be available. Fee is $4.

F-M Moms Club facebook.com/MOMSClubFargo F-M Moms Offering Moms Support [MOMS Club] meets the third Friday of every month at the Moorhead Public Library [118 5th St S, Moorhead] at 10am. Join other moms and kids for weekly playgroups, community events, and volunteer opportunities. For

more information go to facebook.com/ MOMSClubFargo or momscluboffm@ gmail.com.

This class at Family Wellness [2960 Seter Parkway], 6:30pm-8pm, is for caregivers and their infants to learn how to massage their infants. Massage has been shown to improve circulation, help infants to relax, regulate sleep patterns, stimulate digestive system and may relieve colic or gas. It also can improve communication, attachment and bonding between caregiver and infant, as well as caregivers may feel more confident in understanding their baby’s cues. The class will be a hands-on experience for babies and their caregivers [bring baby]. This class is free and open to the community.

Parent’s Night Out www.familywellnessfargo.org Need a night out? Drop your children, ages 2 weeks to 9 years, off at Family Wellness [2960 Seter Parkway, Fargo], 5:45pm-8:45pm, for a date night or just a night to yourself! Bring your own diapers and nut-free snacks. Preregistration is required and space is limited. Sign up by noon the Friday prior to the event. $12 per child Members / $18 per child Nonmembers.

Pregnancy and Infant Loss Support Group www.hrrv.org/grief/ group-and-classes/ Hospice of the Red River Valley offers a free ongoing grief support group for anyone who has experienced the death of a baby through pregnancy loss, stillbirth or in the first year of life. This group is co-facilitated by Hospice of the Red River Valley and Harlynn's Heart. The group meets on the fourth Tuesday of each month from 6:30pm-8pm at Hospice of the Red River Valley [1701 38th St S, Fargo]. This group is free and open to the public. For more information or questions, call 800.237.4629 and ask to speak to the bereavement department.

Infant Massage www.familywellnessfargo.org

Babysitter Training www.familywellnessfargo.org This nine-hour American Red Cross Babysitting Course at Family Wellness [2960 Seter Parkway], 8am-5pm, is a hands-on way for ages 11+ to learn everything you need to know about babysitting. Start your babysitting business on the right foot and learn how to be a safe, professional and reliable sitter. Included in the course is American Red Cross First Aid and CPR Certification that is valid for two years. This course will teach you to be safe on the job, how to recognize an emergency and how to handle it as well. $65 Members/$95 Nonmembers. Register online.

april events

Hello Spring www.fargoparks.com The season is changing and it is time to say Hello Spring at Rheault Farm [2902 25th St S, Fargo], 11am-4pm! Shake off the winter blues at this fun family event formerly known as Garden Party. Learn about bugs, make crafts, and get your face painted!

Gold-N-Motion www.americangoldgymnastics.com Don’t miss this opportunity to see why our local talent is considered some of the top competitive & show gymnasts in the country! Scheel’s Arena [5225 31st Av S, Fargo], 1pm start time.

SUMMER ADVENTURE CAMP WEEkly MAy 28 - AUgUST 9

www.onthemindsofmoms.com

Fun filled activities, field trips, & learning in a faith centered environment Summer Adventure for grades K-5th St. John Paul II Catholic Schools Trinity Campus - West Fargo For registration information call 701.893.3271 or visit us online at jp2schools.org

april • may twenty nineteen | on the minds of moms

[2960 Seter Parkway, Fargo], 6pm-7pm, and work together to prep a meal for your crew. All ages welcome. Everyone can get involved and will have a job to do. All hands on deck for this one! $25 Members/$35 Nonmembers.

may events

5, 12 & 19

How to Raise Emotionally Healthy Children www.sanfordhealth.org/ classes-and-events This class at Sanford Health [2801 University Drive South, Fargo], 6:30pm-8:30pm, will focus on infants and helps caregivers and parents connect and grow with their children. During this class you learn: help baby feel loved, comforted and accepted; why is feeling loved so important; comforting a crying baby. Register online.

Family Healthy Cooking: Family Stir Fry www.familywellnessfargo.org Stir fry is a quick and easy weeknight meal. Bring the family to Family Wellness

How to Help a Grieving Friend www.hrrv.org When a friend loses a loved one through death, we struggle to know what to do. Working through grief involves accepting the loss, experiencing the pain of that loss, and creating a different bond or relationship with the person you have lost. This free class, held at Hospice of the Red River Valley [1701 38th St S, Fargo use west door], 5:30pm-7pm, offers attendees ways to help a friend who has experienced the loss of a loved one through death.

Register for classes online at www.bit.ly/ griefclassregistration or call 800.237.4629 and ask for the bereavement department. Pre-registration required by April 29th.

Red Cross CPR, First Aid and AED Combo Class www.familywellnessfargo.org Ages 15+ Prepare for the unexpected and gain the knowledge and skills needed for effective leadership in the event of an emergency! This course at Family Wellness [2960 Seter Parkway], 6:30pm-10:30pm will prepare you to recognize and care for a variety of first aid, breathing, and cardiac emergencies involving infants, children, and adults. Topics include how to recognize and manage an emergency situation, basic first aid, standard emergency care procedures and administration, CPR, AED, and more. After completion of this class, you will be certified for two years in Red Cross CPR, AED, and First Aid for adults, children, and infants. $44 Members/ $95 Nonmembers Register online.

How to Raise Emotionally Healthy Children www.sanfordhealth.org/ classes-and-events This class at Sanford Health [2801 University Drive South, Fargo], 6:30pm-8:30pm, focusing on toddlers and preschoolers will help caregivers and parents connect

and grow with their children. During this class you learn: why feeling loved is so important; Mental Health versus Physical Health; emotional needs; coping and learning different emotions. Register online.

Mother’s Day Craft www.courtsplus.org Still need a gift for Mother’s Day? Stop by Courts Plus Community Fitness [3491 University Drive S, Fargo], 6:30pm-8pm, and make one with your child. There will be projects available for all ages. Supplies will be provided. Watch your child be creative or participate with them!

10-12

Junk Market www.fargojunkmarket.com Head to the Red River Valley Fairgrounds [1805 Main Av W, West Fargo] and look for treasures to take home as you browse repurposed furniture, vintage décor & handmade crafts at this Eco Chic Home sponsored event. General admission is $5. Early Bird admission for May 10th is $20.

Kindergarten Registration Registration for Fall 2019 opens online February 1, 2019 at:

www.fargo.k12.nd.us/registration

Registration is a two-step process: O

OO LS

FA R G

BLIC S C

STEP ONE: Complete registration at home online anytime or at computer kiosks in the office at each Fargo Public elementary school building on the following dates and times: February 25, 27, March 1– 7:30 a.m. to 4:00 p.m. February 26, 28, March 4 – 7:30 a.m. to 6:00 p.m.

www.onthemindsofmoms.com

STEP TWO: Families MUST bring their child’s certified birth certificate, child’s current immunization record, and a document (i.e. current city utility bill or bank statement) that includes parent/guardian name and address to verify the correct neighborhood school.

Child must be age 5 by July 31, 2019 to attend school in the fall. If do not know which school your child will attend, call 701.446.1043 or check online at www.fargo.k12.nd.us/boundarymaps

on the minds of moms | april • may twenty nineteen

babysitting business on the right foot and learn how to be a safe, professional and reliable sitter. Included in the course is American Red Cross First Aid and CPR Certification that is valid for two years. This course will teach you to be safe on the job, how to recognize an emergency and how to handle it as well. $65 Members/$95 Nonmembers. Register online.

B.L.A.S.T. Babysitting Camp www.sanfordhealthemseducation.org Babysitting Lessons and Safety Training is the initial course for teens and pre-teens on the responsibilities of caring for children. Held at F-M Ambulance Service [2215 18th St S, Fargo], 9am-3pm, participants will learn CPR and first aid for children, as well as diaper-changing techniques. They will also learn when to call 911 and what will happen if they do need emergency assistance. The course is designed for young babysitters ages 11–15. Limited space. Register online.

Signs, Signals & Codes Youth Camp www.fargoairmuseum.org This free camp at Fargo Air Museum [1609 19th Av N, Fargo] is focused on signs, signals, and codes in aviation. This camp is tailored for two different age groups, 6–10 [10am-noon) and 11–18 [10:15am-3pm]. Camp is free for those who pre-register, walk-in admission for the camp is $15. Most camps are eligible for a Boy Scout merit badge. Register online.

Fatherhood www.sanfordhealth.org/ classes-and-events This class at Sanford Health [2801 University Drive South, Fargo], 6:30pm-8:30pm, is designed to help caregivers and parents connect and grow with their children. During this class you learn: what babies need from dads; new dad emotions; healthy relationships; importance of self-care. Register online.

Parents’ Night Out www.courtsplus.org

Parents! Need a break? We’ll watch your kids! Bring them to Courts Plus Community Fitness [3491 University Drive S, Fargo], 5pm-8:30pm, for or a night of activities, games, sports, dinner and a movie. All activities will take place at Courts Plus. Register online to reserve your spot!

Did you know that 8 out of 10 car seats are installed incorrectly? Car seat safety class at Essentia Health [3000 32nd Av S, Fargo], 5:30pm-6:30pm, is a one-hour class with up-to-date car seat recommendations

Car Seat Safety www.essentiahealth.org

and car seat laws. It is suggested you attend this class as early as 6-7 months of pregnancy. Class is open to parents, grandparents or caregivers and is taught by a Certified Car Seat Technician. You do not need to bring your car seat with you to class, and registration is required [one per couple]. Register online.

may events

Kite Day www.fargoparks.com Bring the family out to Lindenwood Park [1905 Roger Maris Dr, Fargo], 11am-2pm, for National Kids to Parks Day for some outdoor fun. Bring your kite and show off your flying skills. There will be food, crafts, games, and nature activities. The event is free of charge and everyone is welcome to attend.

WE MAKE

www.onthemindsofmoms.com

april • may twenty nineteen | on the minds of moms

ten little chickens photography

shutterbug exposures by j.linnea

ten little chickens photography

exposures by j.linnea

ten little chickens photography

www.onthemindsofmoms.com

gettin’ through it

on the minds of moms | april • may twenty nineteen

closing the gap

gettin’ through it

knowing the details on diastasis recti story by | brooke erstad pt, dpt, capp, wcs

hildbearing changes our bodies in so many ways. One major change is that the abdominal muscles stretch and split to allow room for the growing baby. This split or “gap” of the abdominal muscles can remain long after childbirth. Oftentimes, the gap of the abdominal muscles can give the appearance of a stretched, saggy, bulging belly. This is a condition is known as Diastasis Recti.

abdominal muscles split is in response to pregnancy. In fact, some sources say up to two-thirds of all pregnant women have a lingering Diastasis Recti.

diasta-what you say? Abdominal separation, or diastasis recti, occurs when the rectus abdominus muscle [also known as the muscle group giving us a 6-pack] splits, leaving a space between the two sides that is 2 cm or more. That is roughly 2 finger-widths between the Right and Left muscle bellies, which allows your belly to stick out or bulge. This bulge occurs when the widened space between the abs that normally hold your belly tight allows internal organs to hang more forward than they would normally be. The larger the separation or “gap,” the worse the condition. www.onthemindsofmoms.com

how does this happen? Everyone is born with diastasis recti, which closes naturally around age three. A small opening in our rectus abdominus around the umbilicus always remains as a pressure gauge [of sorts] in your abdomen. Some Diastasis Recti conditions remain when this small opening grows larger in response to repeated high pressure activities for a male or a female. The MOST common way that the april • may twenty nineteen | on the minds of moms

gettin’ through it what signs & symptoms might you experience with diastas recti? Many of the symptoms of a Diastasis Recti are similar to those experienced after childbirth-they just still exist for several months after. They may include: • Belly bulge • Gap in your abs of >2 finger-widths • “Doming” effect of the abs with sitting up • Lower back pain • Core weakness • Constipation or digestive issues • Pelvic Floor Issues

www.onthemindsofmoms.com

how can you tell if you have a diastasis recti? It’s important to check yourself for Diastasis Recti, because although it is a common dysfunction, it can be easily overlooked or dismissed as just taking more time to recover after baby. You can test yourself at home with the following steps: 1. Lie on your back with your knees bent and your feet flat on the floor. 2. Lift your head up as though doing a sit up 3. Place your fingers on your belly button and lightly

push down with 1, 2, 3 finger widths until you feel the muscle snugly touching the outside of your fingers. The more fingers that you can fit, the worse your condition is. See the picture below for details. If you test yourself and find that it is present, you may want to contact your doctor…or better yet, go see a Physical Therapist! Physical Therapists are trained musculoskeletal experts that will give you simple exercises to help close up your Diastasis. If you have a Diastasis Recti after pregnancy, a Doctor of Physical Therapy specializing in Women’s Health can be especially helpful. Not only will a Women’s Health Physical Therapist give you appropriate exercises to help heal the gap, but he or she will help treat any adhesions remaining from childbirth that keeps the Rectus Abdominus Muscle from closing using a variety of massage, myofascial release, and other skilled techniques to “bridge the gap” and allow you to return to your pre-baby level of abdominal support. Oftentimes this will clear up many of the lingering signs and symptoms you’ve been frustrated with post-partum.

Farmers Union Camp is for city & farm kids in grades 3-6 and 7-12. Camps are held near Valley City and Elgin in June, July & August. Transportaaon is provided. Cost includes meals, lodging, lodgin t-shirt and educaaonal materials. Register by May 15 to get $25 oﬀ camp fee. Financial scholarships are available. For more info, go to ndfu.org, look up North Dakota Farmers Union on Da Facebook or call 800-366-8331.

FARMERS UNION CAMP ndfu.org 24

on the minds of moms | april • may twenty nineteen

gettin’ through it can you prevent a diastasis recti? There are some things you can do to prevent Diastasis Recti, but they are not a guarantee. Remember that it is a normal condition that occurs to allow the uterus to grow with your baby-so don’t be too hard on yourself! These tips may help avoid or lessen the severity of having a Diastasis Recti: • Be active and use good posture • Strengthen you core and pelvic floor before pregnancy • Avoid heavy lifting if possible • Wear a belly band for extra support • Rest and eat a healthy diet • Do not return to vigorous activity too soon after pregnancy • Talk to your doctor or a Women’s Health Physical Therapist to get a customized plan for you will a diastasis recti affect any future activities? In most cases, a Diastasis Recti Dysfunction can be resolved to a level where you can return to activity without any symptoms. If you wish to return to vigorous exercise, weight lifting, or an active job, resolving your Diastasis is very important. The most important thing to note

before becoming active after Diastis Recti Dysfunction is the stage of the healing process. The depth, width, and tissue quality should regain the density and elasticity it once had making you feel strong once again. The “gap” you once felt should be mostly filled in once again. The severity of your Diastasis and number of pregnancies all play a factor in affecting future activities. Future pregnancies are often not affected by Diastasis Recti, but your hopes of a vaginal delivery can be affected by weakened abs, making a C-section more likely. Closing the gap of Diastasis Rectus Abdominus is an important part of healing and loving your body after baby. Brooke is a Jamestown, ND native and graduate of University of Mary with a BS in Exercise Science and a Doctorate in Physical Therapy. She also has the regions only Board-Certified Women's Health Clinical Specialist (WCS) showing her proficiency level to treat a variety of complex pelvic health conditions in men, women & children. She is co-owner of Apex Physical Therapy & Wellness Center with locations in West Fargo, Jamestown, and LaMoure, ND. Wife to Bryan and mom of four [two sons Blake, 7, & Beckett 10 months and two daughters Brogan, 6, & Bradie, 3], away from work Brooke enjoys completing any task without interruption, taxi driving the kiddos to their sports activities, and running or working out whenever she can get a chance.

GOLD-N-MOTION Sunday, April 28 3 pm Scheels Arena

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april • may twenty nineteen | on the minds of moms

this & that

mom friends:

www.onthemindsofmoms.com

who’s in your all-star lineup?

on the minds of moms | april • may twenty nineteen

this & that story by | dani parkos fluge

here’s a saying…friends are the family we get to pick. Ask any girl and she’ll agree and then tell you zillions of stories about her various friends. The best part about friends is that each one comes with a unique personality, but still has something you can associate with. Let’s be honest, without the companionship of our friends there would be a lot more mental health days in Momville. So here are the types of mom friends you might want to consider in your momtourage.

911- ICE Solid and reliable with her cell phone always stuck to her hip, the ICE friend will be your life saver. Whether it's a mental meltdown, a babysitter bailout, clothing crisis that requires her to take the lead on a last-minute shopping spree, she is there for you and your fam. Lock her in as an emergency contact and you have nothing to worry about. Hear her siren ring! go-to girl The mad investigator who reads all the latest studies on child development, the most highly recommended pottyseat, can rattle off a list of foods highest in antioxidants, and is up to speed of the best skincare products. Never mind her uncanny ability to make a fabulous derby ball custom out of an oversized shirt adorned with a hardware store chain. Without question a mini-Martha.

that woman behind the mom. She brings to light that even though you’re a busy working mom it’s not an excuse to be a frump. Despite her work and family obligations she’s always put together. The queen of handbags and the first to model a pair of jeggings. You swear she has a seasonal pass to the pedi and mani bar cuz she never has a jagged nail or chipped polish. She IS a hot mama! frenemy Admit it, it's true. Even superheroes need a rival to keep them on their toes. So do moms. Chances are your frenemy is always one step ahead of you. Her house is bigger and cleaner, her kids are smarter and dressed to the nines and her skin has had more chemical peels than an orange. But that's okay, because your frenemy forces you to focus on what's really important in your life and make it better. Maybe you've lost the skin elasticity battle, but you’re winning the hair highlighting game. Don’t keep score. LOL FRND The crazy character who’s a hoot and a half and at any given minute can bring you to tears and dang near cause you to pee your pants from laughter. Her hilarious stories

fashionista The one you secretly hate [not really] cuz she oozies with cuteness, but she also inspires you to find and drag out

We've got your back

Especially if your “back” involves pelvic pain, pre & postnatal care, bladder issues, or Diastasis Recti Dysfunction.

www.onthemindsofmoms.com

701.364.APEX (2739) www.apexptwe ll ness.com 1420 9th St. E. Suite 401, West Fargo

april • may twenty nineteen | on the minds of moms

this & that of a school project disaster, leaky breast episode or baby barf worn as an accessory, make her a one-of-a-kind. Sometimes, momhood is not that funny, but an LOL friend always seems to make you giggle. The 308 LOL text messages you share monthly prove it. Thank you “unlimited” texting option. party pal Always makes you feel as if you are the guest of honor. When you’re determined to throw yourself a pity-party, she’s there ordering you to ditch the big bag of M&M’s and fat pants, for a night of people watching and embarrassing karaoke. She has a real knack to revive your spirit and reminds you that there is life outside the laundry room. Rock On! gossip girl She’s the one who’ll fill you in on all the important or not so important gossip. From pointless celebrity news, to who’s dating who, to which couple is separating, to the latest “bun-in-the-oven” update, she’s a regular Entertainment Tonight reporter. More times than not she is usually the mom of an active daughter, who knows everything going on at school. From homework to weekend parties, the ear-to-the-ground friend is a go-to resource. For those of you moms who live outside the circle of information [and by that, I mean the boy moms], any source for what is happening is always welcomed. The Personal Private Eye.

www.onthemindsofmoms.com

boy buddy Your brother, your cubicle-mate, or forever college friend, he tells you what life is like on the other side

on the minds of moms | april • may twenty nineteen

of the gender divide. It’s a generalization, of course, but on the whole, guys make it easier to pick up the friendship where you left off, and simply hang out without rehashing the drama of the past. Oh, and he can help you unravel the mysteries of your significant other’s odd behavior or quirky habits and annoyances? Dude is like a lady. soul sista Kind of a mix between a sister and a soul-mate. She understands your state of mind without needing to spell out the obvious. She’s the one you can share your deepest thoughts and secrets without the fear of them ending up on Facebook. She never judges you when you confess you had cereal and wine for dinner or that your Tupperware closet is trying to kill you. She’s the one you talk endlessly with about how you're both going to lose those pregnancy pounds [6 years later] and she totally get’s your weakness for Dirty Dancing, Hope Floats, Top Gun, repeats of Golden Girls, and how the occasional Rock of Love episodes are essential to your well-being. The TRUE forever friend! We all might be lucky enough to have a connection or special bond with one or more types of these friends, but the real reward is not making friends, but rather keeping them. Friendship is a two way street. Take a minute to give thought to your all-star, mom-friend line up, then make an effort [soon] to share with them the friendship role they play for you and how much you value their friendship. For me, each of these friends are precious and rare….and you know who you are.

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resources

connect, find help, get answers, make a difference

Pregnancy, Parenting and Adoption Services [PPAS] The PPAS program provides decision-making counseling, parenting support, and adoption services to those facing unintended pregnancies. For expectant parents who choose to parent their child, PPAS provides resources to help them prepare for their new baby. For more information, call 701.235.4457, email info@ catholiccharitiesnd.org, or visit www.catholiccharitiesnd.org. Post-Adopt Support Group Any ND adoptive family or any ND family providing guardianships is invited to attend this group meeting. If you have questions, please email postadopt@pathinc. org or call 701.551.6349. Visit our website [www.ndpostadopt. org] for meeting times across the state of North Dakota. Jeremiah Program Empowerment. Education. Success. It is what Jeremiah Program was built on, what participants strive for, and what the program helps participants achieve. At Jeremiah Program low-income single mothers make a commitment to completing a post-secondary education, launching a successful career, and creating stability and prosperity for their children—all while living in our affordable, safe, housing environment. For more information, call 701.361.3873, email fargomoorhead@jeremiahprogram.org or visit www. facebook.com/JeremiahProgramFargoMoorhead. Hands & Voices Hands & Voices A non-profit, parent-driven organization dedicated to supporting families of children who are deaf or hard of hearing without bias around communication modes or methodology. What Works for your Child is What Makes the Choice Right™ Contact us for more information at 701.484.1605, contact@ndhandsandvoices.org, or visit www. ndhandsandvoices.org.

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Red River Moms of Multiples Second Tuesday of each month. For more information visit www.rrvmothersofmultiples.weebly.com. Children's Consultation Network Provides access to early childhood mental-health screening, assessment, and consultation, develops and distributes children's mental- health resources, provides community education, seeks to diminish stigma, and facilitates collaborative efforts related to children's mental-health services, especially for children ages 0-8. For more information, 701.526.1565, or www.rvcscc.org. Gigi’s Playhouse A Down-syndrome achievement center providing resources, specialized teaching, and support to individuals with Down syndrome, their families, and the community. All programs are free. For more information call 701.551.7529 or visit www.gigisplayhouse.org/fargo.

on the minds of moms | april • may twenty nineteen

Parent Professional Learning Network The Parent Professional Learning Network is a Parent Navigator Team with Family Voices of North Dakota. It offers an opportunity for parents of children with special needs and the professionals who work with them to come together to learn and grow. For more information email parentproflearningnetwork@gmail.com. The Compassionate Friends Second Thursday of each month, 7pm at Faith Lutheran Church [127 2nd Av E, West Fargo]. Offering grief support after the death of a child. For more information email chapterleader@tcffargomoorhead.org, call 701.491.0364 or visit www.tcffargomoorhead.org/. MOMS Club of Fargo/Moorhead IR, ND Provides monthly activities, playgroups, special projects, and support for local moms. This group is open to moms and their children in the F-M area. For more information contact momscluboffm@gmail. com or visit www.facebook.com/MomsClubFargo. Harlynn’s Heart Providing multiple services, resources, and comfort to parents, families, and friends who have or will experience perinatal loss. For more information, visit www. harlynnsheart.org or email info@harlynnsheart.org. Catholic Charities ND Counseling Professional and confidential counselors provide services to individuals, couples, and families dealing with relationship issues, stress or anger management, and a variety of other issues. We work with most insurances, EAP’s, and have a sliding-fee scale for those who don’t qualify for other resources. For more information call 701.235.4457, email info@catholiccharitiesnd.org, or visit www. catholiccharitiesnd.org. Red River Valley Asperger-Autism Network Child Caregiver Support Group Every Tuesday from 12pm-1pm at Olivet Lutheran Church [1303 S University Dr, Fargo]. For additional information visit www.rrvan.org. Pregnancy & Infant-Loss Support Group Hospice of the Red River Valley [www.hrrv.org], in partnership with Harlynn’s Heart [www.harlynnsheart.org], offers an ongoing pregnancy and infant-loss support group which meets the fourth Tuesday of each month from 6:30pm-8pm at Hospice of the Red River Valley [1701 38th St S, Fargo]. Please use the west door. This is an ongoing support group for anyone who has experienced the death of a baby through pregnancy loss, stillbirth, or in the first year of life. The purpose of this group is to provide compassionate grief support, understanding, and resources to bereaved parents while allowing them to share their grief in a safe place with

resources others who are experiencing a similar journey. This group is free and open to the public. For more information or questions call 800.237.4629 and ask for the bereavement department.

tion contact Kara Woodbury Fladland, LPCC 701.234.4111, or visit www.sanfordhealth.org/classesandevents/ClassDetail/ cb9a7533-e6f9-41cb-b562-3a7c0fc46f45.

FM Autism Support Group Second Friday of each month from 7pm-9pm at YMCA Downtown [401 1st Av S, Fargo]. For more information visit www.facebook.com/ FM-Autism-Support-Group-171027578792.

Survivor of Suicide Loss Third Thursday of each month. Provide a safe, accepting, and supportive environment and opportunity to talk openly. For more information contact Mary at 701.219.4110 or afspnd@gmail.com.

North Dakota Home-School Association Providing information on the North Dakota home-school law, contacts for area support groups, a free downloadable Home-School Packet, convention information, the current statement-of-intent form, and thoughtful articles on various aspects of private, parent-directed home education. Visit www.homeschool-life. com/nd/ndhsa for more information.

Birthright Pregnancy testing, counseling, prenatal, and parenting education, maternity and infant clothing, emergency supplies of diapers and formula and labor support. All services are free and confidential. To volunteer or donate contact 218.477.1977 or www.birthright.org.

HOPE, Inc. Provides a year-round sports and recreation program for children and young adults ages 2-23 with mobility challenges. We are family-centered and provide extra equipment so the ENTIRE family can play! Contact Adair at 701.866.9002 or adair@hopeinconline.org for more information or visit www. hopeinconline.org. Rape & Abuse Crisis Center Crisis intervention, advocacy, and counseling services to all persons who have been victims of domestic violence or sexual abuse. Volunteer or donate. Call 701.293.7273 or visit www.raccfm.com. Eating Disorders Monthly Family & Friends Support Group If you have a loved one with an eating disorder, you are invited and encouraged to attend this support group dedicated to providing a comfortable, supportive, and confidential environment where you will be provided with information about eating disorders and tools to aid in your loved one’s recovery. This group is open to friends, parents, partners, caregivers, and adult children. Registration: for more informa-

1st visit

recommended

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of age!

PATH of North Dakota An organization offering a more personalized approach to foster care. For more information www. pathinc.org or 701.293.9968. Gluten Intolerance Group of Fargo/Moorhead GIG of F/M holds gatherings for education, fellowship, and support for those living with Celiac Disease, Gluten Intolerance, or Gluten Sensitivity. You do not need to be a paid member of this group to attend any meetings. For more information visit www.gluten.org/ localbranches/fargo-moorhead/?state_id=333. MOMS Club of West Fargo Offers support, activities, and friendship for moms who work at home full or part time. For more information visit www.facebook.com/MOMSClubWestFargo or email momsclubofwf@yahoo.com. For more listings, visit www.OnTheMindsOfMoms.com/support. To submit a group or resource for consideration to be posted on our website, email information to info@onthemindsofmoms.com. OTMOM does its best to keep information accurate, but organizations are responsible for providing updated information. It is always a good idea to call ahead to confirm the information provided.

Comprehensive dental care for infants, children, and adolescents.

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april • may twenty nineteen | on the minds of moms

living with a gratitude attitude photos: ten little chickens photography | renee clasen

trina michels

story by | carrie carney

ratitude has become popular as a practice to remind us to live in the moment, one day at a time, and appreciate all we have—in turn making us realize we have all we need.

Gratitude journals and other types of gratitude practice are helping people live their best lives, but one Fargo woman is taking it to another level. Living each day in what she terms “Gratitude Nirvana,” Trina Michels turns an ordinary life into extraordinary.

living with a gratitude attitude

Trina lives gratitude. She embodies it. She exudes it. Spend a few minutes with her, and you’ll feel it. A pragmatic, practical person, Trina has applied an ideology to her gratitude practice—a method by which to actually gauge your gratitude to determine where you are among four gratitude levels. Trina’s current relationship with gratitude didn’t start off that way. It’s taken a journey to get her there. gratitude grows up Trina explains that she used to think practicing gratitude was for bad situations. She thought she could take a step back, slap on some rose-tinted glasses for a moment, then keep on going. Situation transformed, right? New attitude of gratitude, right? Not so much. It was fake gratitude. “I came to think gratitude was stupid,” Trina confessed. “I thought it was this big fluffy emotion—this idea that you’re standing in the midst of all of this rubble, and you just take some rainbows and slap them over your eyes. What I came to realize over my journey is that gratitude is having the strength to be able to sift through the rubble in order to find the precious gift that is in there. And that gift doesn’t have to be perfect, but it’s priceless.” What Trina hadn’t realized was that gratitude was part of who she had always been. She’d once taken a Predictive Index test, which pegged her as effusive. For the longest time, she didn’t delve into what that meant for her. Turns out, it is in her core makeup to express feelings of gratitude in an unrestrained and heartfelt manner. Realizing that, Trina decided that gratitude wasn’t stupid, but had been a vital part of herself.

www.onthemindsofmoms.com

“Gratitude has always been a part of my life,” Trina reflected. “I got away from it for a period of time because I thought I needed to be someone else.” Looking back, Trina sees that even when she was a child, gratitude was always present, even if it looked and sounded different than it does now. She remembers her father often saying, “You should be thankful for what you have, because it could be worse.”

on the minds of moms | april • may twenty nineteen

living with a gratitude attitude

www.onthemindsofmoms.com

april • may twenty nineteen | on the minds of moms

www.onthemindsofmoms.com

living with a gratitude attitude

on the minds of moms | april • may twenty nineteen

lessons living with from a gratitude her greatest attitude race

As she became older, her gratitude shifted to what Trina calls “comparative gratitude”—when you need to compare your life to someone else’s in order to feel thankful. “I could find myself being grateful,” she remembers, “as long as I could keep my focus on someone who had less than me—but that was outside of myself. It wasn’t intrinsic.” gratitude that grips When Trina went through the United Way of Cass Clay’s 35 Under 35 program, she was introduced to and impacted by the book The Artist Way, by Julia Cameron. She continued on to The Vein of Gold, also by Cameron. “The whole point of The Vein of Gold is to find something that has continuity in your life,” Trina explains. Trina consciously decided gratitude was that one continuous thing for her—but at the time, she was experiencing what she refers to as “gripping gratitude,” which she describes as desperately holding on and trying to be happy about what you have, because it could all be taken away from you at any moment. In 2009, there was a point when Trina thought her marriage was over.

“As more and more blessings came into my life, it became harder and harder for me to hang on,” Trina said. “It was as if when each good thing came, I became more and more concerned about it falling off or going away. I was always focused on how much I could lose.” In 2016, Trina’s father passed away after a battle with cancer. She was still gripping, holding on to all she had left—her marriage, her daughter, and now a son, too. The next year, Trina and her husband separated, which led to divorce. It was then that Trina finally realized, “I can only be me.” The day Trina knew for certain that her marriage was over, she needed her mom. She found out her mother was with the support group Beginning Experience, a group for those who are divorced or widowed. They were having a social at a restaurant downtown. “I drove to the restaurant downtown, walked in, found my mom and said, ‘I need to talk to you.’” Trina and her mom stood outside the restaurant doors on Broadway. Trina told her mom the news and proceeded to fall apart. Her mother invited her back into the restaurant.

april • may twenty nineteen | on the minds of moms

www.onthemindsofmoms.com

“There I was among 30 other people who were all on “Who I was at that point in my life was a person who the other side of losing their primary person in their would change whatever I could about myself, not being relationship,” Trina remembered. “There was no better true to myself, in order to keep the promise I made in place I possibly could have been that night. It was fate.” my marriage vows. Over the years I couldn’t understand how I could be so disconnected from myself. I was so Her mother, Helen Franck, recalled how it was the happy in my job, and I was so happy with my friends, perfect place for her daughter to be at that moment. yet I was so unhappy in my marriage, but I was still “Trina was definitely in the right place at the right time,” committed to that promise.” Helen said. “She was surrounded by people who were Trina and her husband decided to make their marriage proof that life goes on. And now she’s one of those work. When her daughter was born, Trina remembers people. She’s a great mom with a zest for life and takes holding her in her arms and thinking, “Oh, my gosh, I everything in stride.” could have missed out on this!” gratitude attitude She found herself gripping everything she had in her Before that day, Trina felt as though she had been life, trying to hold on. One of the analogies she uses is gripping everything. She learned that in order to find that of a weight bar. what she calls the fourth stage of gratitude, “gratitude

www.onthemindsofmoms.com

living with a gratitude attitude

on the minds of moms | april • may twenty nineteen

living with a gratitude attitude

nirvana,” you have to take time to reflect on your life, because when we’re in it, we can’t see it. She remembers that night vividly. “When I reflect back on that evening, I saw all of these people that were okay, even with their own loss,” she said. After Trina’s divorce was finalized, she remembers that even though she didn’t know what would happen next, she felt everything would work out. “I didn’t know how, but I knew in the depths of my heart that I was going to be okay,” she said, “even though everything had suddenly changed. I felt as though I had lost half of my life—I had spent 17 of my 34 years in that relationship. And now half the time I thought I was going to have with my children was suddenly wiped out with the signature of a judge.” Fast forward to six weeks after her divorce. Trina was with her daughter as she ran off the soccer field. In the distance was a double rainbow. Her daughter looked up at her and said, “Look at that beautiful, rare moment.” Trina says the words that came out of her mouth in response didn’t even feel as if they were her own: “Yes, Ruth, whatever you look for in life is what you are going to find. If you look for beautiful moments, you will find them in more places than you can imagine.” After Trina put her kids to bed that night, she sat on her couch, and suddenly remembered something she had wanted to do: make a picture book from Instagram photos. But first, she had to create the content. “I decided I was going to post something beautiful I experienced each day,” she recalls. This was how she was going to weave gratitude into her daily life. This was how she would live gratitude — always paying attention, looking for that special moment to capture each day.

And that was the beginning.

april • may twenty nineteen | on the minds of moms

www.onthemindsofmoms.com

That night, Trina posted a picture to Instagram of the soccer field with the double rainbow in the background. She shared it to Facebook. She added the hashtag #gratitudeattitude.

living with a gratitude attitude “I didn’t do it for reaction or followers, just for me and my struck up a conversation with the person seated next healing,” she explained. “Over the course of time, people to her. The woman Trina encountered was struggling reached out to me to tell them about how my posts affected with her bag, telling Trina she had injured her ankle them. One person said a year later, ‘I just have to tell and hand in an ATV accident. you how much I love the #gratitudeattitudes. Your posts “Thank goodness I still have my right hand,” the woman always make me smile and puts things into perspective.’” explained. “I need to do all I can with what I still have.” People shared with Trina that her posts helped them Trina, ever-experienced in gratitude, recognized this to stop and see the beauty in life. stage as gripping. The woman was holding on to what “We get to create the world we live in and sometimes she still had. we forget that we can have an influence,” says Trina. A cautious gratitude example would be if she had said, Kirsten Jensen, a friend of Trina’s who knew her when “At least I only hurt my ankle and hand. I could have she went through her divorce remembers being in awe lost so much more!” of Trina as she “gracefully” handled her divorce. A comparative gratitude stage would have her saying, “Trina saw the beauty in the small moments during the “Some people don’t even survive these sorts of accidents! most difficult time of her life,” Kirsten says. “I found I am lucky to be here.” it so inspirational and continue to find inspiration as What would nirvana look like? “My injury provided me I see her impact others.” an opportunity to accept help and has brought new Kirsten was equally impressed when she saw Trina people into my life!” tell her story to a large audience at a recent FMWF gratitude in practice: advice from trina Chamber Women Connect event. Gratitude is about the whole person—There is a differ“I was really thankful for how vulnerable she was when ence between celebrating record-breaking sales and she shared her stories. It would have been easy for applauding a caring and helpful spirit. her to be academic about gratitude, but to know the Gratitude is not one-size-fits-all—Like love languages, profound impact for her in a time that was so difficult, there are many different forms of gratitude languages. gave so much hope to her message and so much impact,” Learn them. explains Kirsten.

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Reflecting on her journey, Trina clearly sees how her path took her through four phases of gratitude: Cautious, Comparative, Gripping, and finally, Nirvana. trina’s four stages of gratitude Cautious The thought of “It could be worse” and expecting that perspective to cause gratitude. Comparative Comparing your life to someone else’s in an effort to feel better about your own. Gripping Trying to find gratitude by holding on to all you have and hoping it won’t all fall apart. Nirvana A genuine feeling of gratitude without fear or comparison. four stages of gratitude, illustrated Trina travels often for her job as a senior manager at Eide Bailly. Recently, she was on a plane and as usual,

on the minds of moms | april • may twenty nineteen

Gratitude must be embraced by leaders—it cannot be forced, as that is not genuine gratitude, but it can be planted. Make gratitude a daily activity—There is consistency in practice. Follow Trina on Instagram @GratitudeNirvana

Carrie Carney lives in Fargo with her son Jack and their gravity-defying dog Dudley. She works in marketing and communications and loves living and playing in the Fargo-Moorhead community. Originally from Minnesota, she is often drawn back to her hometown when the pines and lakes call to her. Carrie also writes for the multi-contributor blog thehoneylife.com

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april • may twenty nineteen | on the minds of moms

ready, set, grow

story by | sheri kleinsasser stockmoe

magine it…you’ve planned, packed and repacked for the magical family vacation that everyone will enjoy and this fabulous family experience is eternity captured in a photo of the whole family smiling while standing on the beach, with Mickey, around the campfire, or at Yankee stadium. Sure it’s possible, but it’s inevitable that you’re going to forget something, the kiddos will fight, someone will roll their eyes, and odds are even with all of today’s brilliant technology gadgets the defined navigator will have no idea where they are going at some point [while still acting like they know exactly the route]. Ahhh the joys of vacationing. Here’s the 411 so you [and the rest of the family] get there and back in one piece!

vacation

411

ready, set, grow

according to AAA Travel, 44% of millennials are planning a family vacation this year

wee ones [0–18 months]

ou know wee ones are hard work, but leave the comfort of home and it’s a whole new ball of wax. Not only do you have to worry about your travel necessities, but who knew this tiny little person’s bag would be bigger than yours!

pack it up As soon as you bring your wee one home [or even before] they have lots of ‘stuff’. Swings and bouncers and pack-n-plays…oh my! Of course you need diapers, bottles, clothes, formula and what not, but here are a few things you need to remember to bring with as you vacation with your wee one: • put a lid on it Have a cap with regardless of the

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on the minds of moms | april • may twenty nineteen

time of year. That little melon needs to stay warm or be shaded from the sun’s rays. the favs Your wee one is a creature of habit, so don’t forget the things he finds comfort in. Also, as hard as it might be, try to keep your wee one’s schedule as close to normal as possible especially when it comes to eating and sleeping. dr. mom to the rescue Bring a first aid kit with some of the essentials like a thermometer, calamine lotion or hydrocortisone cream, tweezers, scissors, nail clipper, nasal aspirator bulb, Q-tips, band-aids & Tylenol. bag it Oh the versatility of a Ziplock bag. Store anything from food to stinky diapers with ease. patience Like every stage in your wee one’s life to this point, prepare for everything including the unexpected. It’s a guarantee there will be challenging times, so bring an extra portion of patience.

ready, set, grow

americans will spend an average of $1,978 on summer vacations

tots

[18 months–3 years]

ould there be a more torturous activity than being a tot strapped in a car seat for hours at a time? Not from his point of view and odds are he’ll let you know about his displeasure…loudly!

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on the road again Have you ever had the shoulder belt of your seat belt lock when you are driving and I’m not talking about when you’re in an accident [better lock up then!]? It just locks up and you can’t move forward. How confining and annoying! So who could blame your tot for getting a little irritated as he sits in his 5 point harnesses with barely any wiggle room! It’s our job to keep him safe, which means being in a car seat at ALL times as you travel, but it’s also our job to make the journey as painless as possible for everyone in the vehicle. Here are tips to tame the travel tantrums: • sweet dreams A sleeping tot is ideal as you travel, so try to time your travel around nap time and get a few hours of silence. • entertain New toys, colors, movies & games can be a big hit. Be sure and consider the Fargo & Moorhead libraries where you can check out kits that include books, games & crafts or download e-books that are narrated. This is an awesome resources and great for the older kiddos too! • everybody pees Before leaving the house or as you are on the road and get closer to the time your tot will nap, make sure everyone has gone to the

bathroom. The best way to wake a content sleeping tot…make a pit stop for a potty break! • snack attack Bring along easy to eat [and store] snacks for your tot. Try to keep them as healthy as possible because a big sugar buzz is not going to help your cause. And be very conscious of the choking hazard snacks and food may pose.

ready, set, grow

walt disney world resort covers 40 square miles; the size of san francisco

preschoolers [3–5 years]

inderella, Prince Charming, Goofy & Mickey…it’s a preschoolers utopia in southern Florida. The magic kingdom can provide memories of a lifetime, but hopefully they don’t create flashbacks of Disney World gone amuck for you! goin to disney Truly, a trip to any of the Disney theme parks can be magical for you and your preschooler. I mean how fun to watch your preschooler meet the real Snow White… priceless! Here are a few tips when you’re making magical plans: • dot com Start by checking out the Disney World website [www.disneyworld.disney.go.com]. There is

a ton of info that can help you plan your itinerary based on the age of your children. • timing Take into consideration when you will be going. Regardless, there will be a ton of people when you go, but the beauty of Disney World at Thanksgiving or Christmas might not be worth dealing with the whole world being there as you tote your preschooler along. Besides, going during the off season [late Fall & late Spring] can save you some greenbacks! • relax Make sure you actually enjoy your vacation. Sure you want to take in as much of the park as you can, but you don’t want to come home and need a vacation from your vacation. Consider a day at the hotel pool with no agenda. • what you think Some of the best advice for just about anything under the sun, comes from the ones you trust that have been there before. So, ask your friends what they could have done without, what they would do again and what they wish they had done differently.

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Like any trip, the best way to make sure you enjoy yourself it to not get so hung up on your itinerary and be flexible. Good to have a plan, but don’t get consumed in fulfilling the itinerary and forget about having fun.

on the minds of moms | april • may twenty nineteen

kiddos ages 5-12, women [especially pregnant women], and migraine sufferers seem to be more susceptible to motion sickness

ready, set, grow

big kids [6–9 years]

s you venture down the road on your vacation you can expect the common request from the backseat for a bathroom, freedom from the car, or the need for another snack. But pray you don’t hear, ‘Mom, I don’t feel good…my stomach hurts!”

If your big kid shows signs of motion sickness when they are not involved in a motion activity, consider seeing your doctor.

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april • may twenty nineteen | on the minds of moms

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not so much motion Motion sickness occurs when the brain is getting conflicting messages from the body’s inner ears, eyes or nerves of the extremities [the motion sensing parts of the body]. For example, if your big kid is riding in the car reading a book, their body and inner ears are sensing the motion of the car, but their eyes are locked on the stationary book and aren’t seeing the motion. The brain is getting conflicting signals, so it sends out a response that can make your big kid feel sick. Obviously, no fun…I mean I’ll take a poopy whatever or snot filled container of anything before I have to clean up puke! Here are some ways to keep the yak monster at bay: • stop When your big kid starts to complain or show signs of motion sickness [upset stomach, cold sweat, restless, fatigued, pale, loss of appetite, vomiting], pullover for goodness sakes! Get out, walk around a bit, and get some fresh air. • watch what you eat Stay away from greasy meals before traveling and instead try a light snack. If motion sickness continues to be a problem, try not eating before other trips. A little experimenting may be needed to see what works for your big kid. • eyes forward No reading or video games. Look out the front window a good distance ahead. Even consider placing your big kid in the center of the back seat so they can easily see out.

• accessorize Consider purchasing Seabands, which are elastic wristbands containing a plastic stud that applies pressure on the inside wrist at the Nei-Kuan acupressure point. Seabands can also provide nausea relief for those that are pregnant or having side effects due to anesthesia or chemotherapy. • clean up Don’t be caught without water, wipes, Febreze and extra clothes just in case there is some yakking!

ready, set, grow

in a 2018 alamo rent a car family vacation survey 23% of respondents said they have seen social media ruin a family vacation experience

tweeners [10–12 years]

ep, vacations are changing for your family. Your tweener is growing and the things that have been enjoyable might be “boring” now. Well, too bad! A family vacation is a great time to leave the other stuff at home and just be together. get involved This sounds like a broken record, but your tweener is always looking for independence and wants to make decisions and have his opinion heard. So, when it comes to your family vacation make sure he has some say. Here are some tips for tweener travels: • the plan Get your tweener involved in the planning of your vacation. Let him have some say in where

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on the minds of moms | april • may twenty nineteen

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you go and the activities you will do. This will help your tweener take some ownership of the vacation. pack it Have him pack his own suitcase and the bag he will have with him at all times. questions please You have your tweener all to yourself in the car or airplane so, put away the phones and get talking. vaca rules You’re tweener’s social life is becoming more important and being away might put a crimp in keeping in touch. Make sure you go over the technology rules. Just because you’re not at home doesn’t mean the home rules fly out the window. Make it clear that vacation doesn’t mean they are allowed to make unlimited calls and text messages. Last thing you need is to return home to a cell bill that costs more than your entire vacation! tried & true Remember the old games your tweener has always enjoyed on previous road trips. He’s growing up fast, but who can turn down a good old fashion game of car bingo?

a recent survey found the happiest memory of 49% of those surveyed was on vacation with family

ready, set, grow

teens [13–18years]

our teen is spreading his wings and venturing a little further from the nest each year. Soon the school or church or other group associated with your teen will be knocking with a tempting trip that doesn’t include you.

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in the know Each new example of your teen’s growing independence can be met with a sense of anxiety, relief, and pride, or a combination of all three! As your teen embarks on their first trip without you, make sure you talk about… • where you at Know exactly where your teen will be staying and discuss any concerns you might have. Get contact numbers for hotels and chaperones. • how much Find out exactly what is included in the price of the trip and what extras aren’t included so you know how much money to send with your teen. • health history Make sure your teen knows his basic health history such as any allergies, past surgeries, illnesses and make sure he has a copy of his health insurance card. • staying in touch Discuss how often you will talk while he is away. Make it clear you don’t need to talk about every detail of his trip [that can wait until he gets home], but it is completely reasonable for your teen to touch base on a regular basis to easy your mind. • be safe Discuss with your teen how to handle normal travel issues such as flight delays or lost luggage. In his cell phone, program an ICE [In Case of Emergency] number. Emergency personal are trained to look for such an entry. Talk about the importance of being aware of their surrounds.

Be cautious of strangers, don’t give out personal information and lock the hotel door. And whether you are in Paris or downtown Fargo, running alone or walking while talking on your cell or wearing earbuds are not safe habits and should be avoided. • public dos & don’ts Make it clear that even without you, there are still commonsense rules to follow. Remind him that regardless of where he is, he needs to be polite and respectful. Sure, kids with be kids, but they are still representing themselves, your family, and the group they are traveling with.

april • may twenty nineteen | on the minds of moms

I prayed for this child, and the LORD has granted me what I asked of Him â&#x20AC;&#x201D;1 Samuel 1:27

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