Aug/Sept 2015 On the Minds of Moms by on the minds of moms

august ∙ september twenty fifteen

the valley’s modern resource for today’s parent

www.onthemindsofmoms.com

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contents

in every issue contributors .

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 8

event calendar . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 16 shutterbug

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 26

oh, by the way . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 36 food for thought

. . . . . . . . . . . . . 38

contents

sections

gettin' through it

did you know

just a thought

art isn’t just for artists anymore . . . . . . . . . . 10

what goes around, comes around . . . . . . . . 44

where are they now

ready, set, grow

angela kolling—learn from yesterday, live for today, hope for tomorrow . . . . . . . . . 28

getting in tune together—why music is good for all of you . . . . . . . . . . . . . 58

the teenage years… embracing with gratitude . . . . . . . . . . . . . 32

contents

feature & profiles

mod mom profile val wagner . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .12

mompreneur heidi holland—beans coffee bar . . . . . . . . . . 22

rad dad profile randy johnson . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 40

cover story

www.onthemindsofmoms.com

shannon bock—more than a job . . . . . . . . . 48

on the minds of moms | august • september twenty fifteen

moms

on the minds of

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PUBLISHER DS Communication, LLC EDITOR Dani Parkos Fluge

COPY EDITOR Charlotte Berg

ADVERTISING Mary Klabo p: 218.791.2848 e: mary@onthemindsofmoms.com Sheri Kleinsasser Stockmoe p: 701.306.1624 e: sheri@onthemindsofmoms.com

PHOTOGRAPHY

DESIGN AND LAYOUT

Ria Czichotzki – rialee photography Sabrina Kliniske – rialee photography Lauren Kupfer – rialee photography Josette Hayes – exposures by j.linnea Caitlin Killoran–caitlin killoran photography Scott Thuen – thuen studios

we are

online digital & social in purses but most importantly

Scott Thuen – thuen studios www.thuenstudios.com

AD DESIGN Casie Beldo Scott Thuen Tara Kessler Stephanie Drietz EDITORIAL CONTACT e: hello@onthemindsofmoms.com

INFORMATION mail: PO Box 190, Fargo, ND 58107

SUBSCRIPTION print www.onthemindsofmoms.com/subscribe digital issuu.com/onthemindsofmoms

COVER PHOTO BY Josette Hayes – exposures by j.linnea

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OTMOM MISSION STATEMENT On The Minds Of Moms Magazine is dedicated to providing parents of all ages a bimonthly resource they can trust. A fresh approach to traditional parenting publications, we are modern and inspiring while offering a community of local support and real-life advice for today’s family. On The Minds Of Moms contains views from across the parenting spectrum. These views do not necessarily reflect those of the publisher. All activities listed in these pages are at your own risk and require appropriate supervision. OTMOM is a publication available at all Fargo-Moorhead Hornbacher's, Family Fare, and Grand Forks–East Grand Forks Hugo's grocery store locations. Distribution also includes all partnering advertisers. Copyright 2015 All Rights Reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced without written permission from the publisher. On The Minds Of Moms is a trademark registered at the U.S. Patent and Trademark Office.

reserve ad space now with the most read magazine for parents in the Red River Valley

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contributors

“if I were to write a parenting manual, the title would be…” kelsey drayton moorhead | mn did you know: page 10 “Comedic Gold: How to Raise a Happy, Healthy Baby and Turn Her Ridiculous Antics into a Stand-Up Comedy Routine”

deb uglem moorhead | mn oh, by the way: page 42 “My mom was right, I should have listened.”

patricia carlson naples | fl ready, set, grow: page 58 “Don’t Go Grey Before You Have Kids Because It’s All Downhill From There.”

teresa lewis fargo | nd gettin’ through it: page 32 PARENTING: It’s much easier before kids

kathleen wrigley bismarck | nd just a thought: page 44 “A Beautiful Mess.”

kari klingsporn hitterdal fargo | nd food for thought: page 40 “Don't Blink: This, Too, Shall Pass [Whether or not you want it to]!”

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did you know

art isn’t just for artists anymore

story by | kelsey drayton

www.onthemindsofmoms.com

oing to art museums is fun. Seeing other people create art is even more fun. Naturally, then, the most fun you can have is creating art yourself, right? Creatively Uncorked, a locally owned business, lets you do just that. what is it Creatively Uncorked was started by Shanna Cramer in January of 2014. The concept is to bring art to more people in the FM area. It doesn’t matter what the artistic level is of any painters coming to an event. The artists from Creatively Uncorked will walk through each step 10

on the minds of moms | august • september twenty fifteen

of the painting with the whole group. By the end of the night everyone ends up walking away with almost identical paintings. A multitude of events is offered, including couple’s painting, wine-glass painting, paint-your-pet, and popular public events that highlight a painting from Creatively Uncorked’s library. Included in the library are scenery paintings, animal paintings, and the iconic Fargo Theatre sign. While its main market is adults, Creatively Uncorked offers painting sessions for school-age children as well. Its library for Creatively Kids includes sports-related paintings, animals, and other cute subjects that your

POURING

kids will be sure to love. It also offers the perfect summer-camp option. Creatively Kids Summer Art Camp is an affordable, week-long format that keeps kids close to home, taps into their artistic ability, and sends them home with a new piece of art each day. when’s it happenin’ Creatively Uncorked is great for a parents’ night out or a moms’ night out with friends. You can go with your significant other to the couple’s painting, where you work on separate canvases to produce paintings that will look great on their own or together. Or you can go to the wine-glass night and paint a stemmed and stemless wine glass set to display in your home. All of the upcoming events can be found on the website [www.creativelyuncorked.com/calendar]. You can also register online!

love one cup at a

Time

OPEN 6-8 Monday-Saturday, 8-6 Sunday 5675 26th Ave S, Ste. 100, Fargo

What makes Beans (extra)special is: fresh homemade mini donuts, and one tops every hot beverage drive thru dark, light & ﬂavored roasts rotated each day kids area food items are homemade Free or fresh from local bakeries reﬁlls on brewed jazz music every day, and coffee in-store Christian music all day on Sundays

where’s it at Part of what makes Creatively Uncorked so unique is the fact that it has an in-house studio [located in the Moorhead Center Mall], where public and private events are hosted. It has also taken the studio on the road to events in Grand Forks, West Fargo, Lake Park, Fergus Falls, and Detroit Lakes. Other events happen locally in venues like Armour Park. The variety of locations that Creatively Uncorked partners with helps it reach more and more people every day. The team at Creatively Uncorked will also travel to you. Private parties can be booked anywhere within a 150-mile radius. The Creatively Uncorked team will bring the paint, brushes, easels, and canvases. All they ask of you is to provide a space with tables and, most importantly, enthusiastic people to paint with you!

Families Making the Difference

If just painting isn’t enough for you, most of the venues that Creatively Uncorked works with are BYOB and have cash bars or full bars and menus. Having a couple drinks, making beautiful paintings, and laughing with friends or family will make for some great memories. www.onthemindsofmoms.com

A child needs you! Become a foster parent, Call today! Treatment Foster Care and Family-Based Services 510 Center Avenue #31, Moorhead 218.477.1987 www.creativelyuncorked.com

701-280-9545 800-766-9321 www.pathinc.org

august • september twenty fifteen | on the minds of moms

aised near the small town of Forbes, ND, with her two brothers and two sisters, Val had a dream to become a big-shot lawyer in the big city, leaving the farm far behind her…and then fate stepped in. Val met Mark, her

rancher husband of 14 years, at a county fair and the rest, as the cliché goes, is history. This busy farmer, rancher, speaker, volunteer, and mom to Ian [13], Scott [11], Evan [8], and Eli [6], recently went back to school to finish her paralegal certification. When Val can carve out ‘me time’ she loves to read a good book, play softball, or go fishing and hunting. In fact, until last year, Val was the only person in her house of boys who has gone hunting every year—a true ‘pioneer woman’ of North Dakota.

photos: rialee photography | lauren kuper

val wagner age 38, monango.nd

i would like to become better at… organization. I do well at coming up with ideas, but implementation seems to be a stumbling block for me. Of course, having four boys doesn’t help. As long as they can find their clothes, shoes, and baseball gloves, all is good in their eyes!

nothing clears my head like… spending some time outside, just breathing in the fresh air and realizing how blessed I am to be able to raise my children on this farm. We have a crazy schedule most days, but when I can steal a few minutes outside, the whole world rights itself.

mod mom

own. I have a tendency to always agree to whatever is asked. I need to work on making sure I prioritize and don’t miss out on my own life. It can be a wild ride!

i can always count on a good laugh… wherever I am. There is nothing that makes my day more than just a good laugh. We take ourselves too seriously way too often, so I like to inject humor in my day wherever I can—within reason, of course.

five things i can’t live without… my kids, a good book, good friends, a good attitude, and a strong faith. Not necessarily in that order.

best pinch-myself moment… this is a tough one. I’ve met some amazing people, and have had some pretty wow-inducing moments. Meeting The Pioneer Woman [aka Ree Drummand] was pretty pinch worthy. And writing for the Huffington Post.

the phrase i say most… ”It is what it is.” So many times we try to change situations that we have no control over, and forget that the best way to tackle those moments is to change our attitude towards them. www.onthemindsofmoms.com

if i could single-handedly change anything, it would be… how I view challenges that come at me. I can’t change the situation I am dealt, but I can certainly change how I approach it. I would love to be more optimistic, assertive, and portray tenacity more often.

my mom was right about… not jumping into things and tackle all things on my august • september twenty fifteen | on the minds of moms

mod mom

the person who has had the greatest influence on me… is definitely my grandmother, Vivian Brandenburger. She was a spitfire. She attacked life with class and sass, and never left the house without looking her best. She always told me that it didn’t matter what other people thought, and the only opinion I could change was my own. She was more than a grandmother; she was my confidant, my rock, and my reality check.

i’m pretty good at… www.onthemindsofmoms.com

writing. I love to write. When I sit down to write, many times my fingers just fly over the keys. There are days where there is nothing more therapeutic than getting out my thoughts on paper, virtual or otherwise.

ways i stay connected with my boys… stealing unexpected moments and letting my hair down. Whether it’s an impromptu game of yard ball, shooting hoops in the shop, or declaring a movie night, I keep it fun and unscheduled. 14

on the minds of moms | august • september twenty fifteen

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august events 4

RiverArts 218.299.5340 www.cityofmoorhead.com Free family fun in the Memorial Park [210 8th St N, Moorhead], 5:30pm-8pm! We wrap up the 2015 RiverArts season with a bang! August 4th brings Slamabama to the stage for an unforgettable show and everyone can participate in the River Keepers fishing clinic. Free horse drawn carriage rides, art and craft vendors, food, free hands on activities, informational booths, and a great playground. Slamabama takes the stage at 6pm.

5 & 12

Concert in the Park 701.499.7788 www.fargoparks.com Local bands will entertain families with lively music at Roosevelt Park [302 7th St S, Fargo] on the 5th and at Brunsdale Park [1702 27th Ave S, Fargo] on the 12th, 7pm-8:30pm. Get your face painted, jump in the bouncy castle and take home a craft project. This is a free event and there will be limited concessions for sale. Q5 [variety music] will be performing on the 5th and Ditching Delmer [90’s and now rock] will take the stage on the 12th!

Community Play Day 701.499.7788 www.fargoparks.com Free Play for all ages at Rheault Farm [1220 9th St N, Fargo], 9am-11am & 1pm-3pm! Play yard games, do a take home craft, climb on the playground and move to music outside in the sunshine!

La Leche Potluck 701.630.6336

www.onthemindsofmoms.com

Join the La Leche League of FargoMoorhead for their family friendly annual potluck picnic & silent auction, 6pm-8pm in the small shelter at Lindenwood Park

[1905 Roger Maris Dr, Fargo]. This years event is an official Live, Love, Latch event. La Leche League of Fargo-Moorhead will provide plates, cutlery, cups, and water. Please bring a dish to share [with ingredient list if possible!]. For more information, contact 701.630.6336.

6, 10, 13, 17, 20, 24, 27 & 31

Farmers' Market & Beyond 701.433.5360 www.wfparks.org Fresh produce, berries, herbs, meats, jellies, flowers, hand-crafted items & agriculture products will be available for purchase 3:30pm-6:30pm at the South Elmwood Park parking lot [500 13th Ave W, West Fargo].

Car Seat Safety 701.364.8100 www.essentiahealth.org Did you know that 8 out of 10 car seats are installed incorrectly? Car seat safety class is a one-hour class with up-to-date car seat recommendations and car seat laws. It is suggested you attend this class as early as 6-7 months of pregnancy. Class is open to parents, grandparents or caregivers and is taught by a Certified Car Seat Technician. You do not need to bring your car seat with you to class. This class is sponsored by Safe Kids. Registration is required. Class is held at Essentia Health on 32nd Ave, Fargo. Classroom location will be posted in main hospital lobby.

6 & 13

Meet the Xcellent Art staff at the park, 1pm-4pm, and create take home arts and crafts. The fun travels weekly to different neighborhoods. All supplies provided and different projects each week. See you on the 6th at Madison Park [3010 11th Ave N, Fargo], and on the 13th at Kennedy Park [4501 42nd St S, Fargo].

If everybody wants to be happy and successful and live a meaningful life, why do so many people settle and never realize their full potential? A multi-year, multi-million dollar study gives us the answers. We know that God is ultimately in control, but we are in control of our mindset. This session, 1pm-5pm at Prairie Heights Ministry Center [319 32nd Ave E, West Fargo], will help you learn how much your mindset matters and what you can do today to

7 Mindsets by Faith www.TeresaInspires.com

Park It! 701.499.7788 www.fargoparks.com

Teachers, Students, Parents and Staff Collaborating in Education Since 1872 Opportunities await you – Contact us today!

701.446.1000

www.fargo.k12.nd.us

on the minds of moms | august • september twenty fifteen

get better results at work and at home. In this special faith-based offering, we incorporate the Biblical foundations that support the 7 mindsets. You will leave with an understanding of the mindsets that matter most, the Biblical foundations for the mindsets and strategies to adopt every day. Register online, www.TeresaInspires. com, today!

Movie Matinee 701.433.5360 www.wfparks.org Don’t forget your blanket or a chair when you head out to Veterans Memorial Arena [1201 7th Ave E, West Fargo] for the big screen movie matinee of Frozen. Show time 1pm-3pm. Bleachers will be available and Sno-Cones, Popcorn or Pop will be offered for $1 each.

13 & 22

Lego Club 218.233.3757 www.larl.org

Free Developmental Screening 701.364.3945 www.earlyinterventionpartners.com Do you have questions or concerns regarding your child's development? Join us for a free screening on the second Friday of each month. Screenings will be held from 8am - 4pm at Early Intervention Partners [3060 Frontier Way S, Fargo]. Please call ahead to schedule a time at 701.364.3945. Early Intervention Partners can answer any questions you may have.

15 & 16

Pioneer Days 701.282.2822 www.bonanzaville.org Pioneer Village at Bonanzaville [1351 W Main, West Fargo] comes to life with authentic parades, demonstrations, costumes and crafts.

17, 19 & 27

All ages and abilities are welcome to come make their own Lego creation at our Lego Club at the Moorhead Public Library [118 5th St S, Moorhead], 6pm on the 13th and 2pm on the 22nd. Supplies provided to build, but make sure to bring your imagination!

ECFE in the Park www.moorheadschools.org Bring your kiddos [preschool age and younger] to the park for some exciting activities! These activities will provide your child with small and large muscle skill development. Parenting information will be

available and you get to take home an ECFE bucket filled with goodies and a book! A light snack and water will be provided. See you on the 17th at Arrowhead Park [2600 6th Ave N, Moorhead], 5:30pm-7:30pm, the 19th at Bennett Park [302 17th St S, Moorhead], 2pm-4pm and the 27th at Queens Park [3201 20th St S, Moorhead], 3pm-5pm.

The Birth Circle facebook.com/groups/doulasrrv/ The Birth Circle is a free community resource for pregnant couples, new parents, and pregnancy/birth professionals. This session is all about the second stage of labor “PUSH!” Hosted by Doulas of the Red River Valley, session are held at ecce yoga [216 N Broadway, Suite 204, Fargo] starting at 7pm. Join the discussion on Facebook at facebook.com/groups/doulasrrv/.

28 & 29

Potato Days 800.525.4901 www.potatodays.com Lots of fun for the whole family in Barnesville. Parade, games, contests and don't forget… Mashed Potato Wrestling!

august events 29 & 30

Island Park Show 701.499.7788 www.fargoparks.com Bring your friends and indulge yourself! Spend a day at Island Park [302 7th St S, Fargo] shopping in the shade! Find unique items, enjoy excellent food and listen to great music from 10am-5pm.

Streets Alive 701.356.3132 www.fmstreetsalive.org Get out and get moving down the streets of Fargo-Moorhead, noon-5pm! Bring friends, family and neighbors to walk, run, pedal, stroll or skate together on a 3 mile loop of blocked off roads. Stop along the way for activities, booths and more!

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august • september twenty fifteen | on the minds of moms

september events

grandparents, and caregivers with using their car seats correctly. The events are free and open to the public. Space is limited and appointments are required. Please note that it will take a minimum of 30 minutes per car seat per car.

10 3, 7, 10, 14, 17, 21, 24 & 28 Farmers' Market & Beyond 701.433.5360 www.wfparks.org

Fresh produce, berries, herbs, meats, jellies, flowers, hand-crafted items & agricultural products will be available for purchase 3:30pm-6:30pm at the South Elmwood Park parking lot [500 13th Ave W, West Fargo].

3, 10, 17 & 24

CCRI Superhero 5k & Sidekick Run www.CreativeCare.org Caped crusaders will patrol the city of Moorhead for a good cause! CCRI is hosting the 10th annual Superhero 5K & SideKick Youth Run at Gooseberry Park [100 22nd Ave S, Moorhead]. The bad guys will tremble as hundreds of superheroes running faster than speeding bullets descend upon the FM area. Sidekick Youth Run starts at 6pm with the Superhero 5K Run following at 6:30pm. Grab your running shoes and cape and join the league of superheroes for a great cause!

11th Annual Autumn JUNKFEST & Flea Market www.junk-fest.blogspot.com www.facebook.com/junkfest Junk Enthusiasts head to the Foster County Fairgrounds in Carrington, ND and find raw salvage and uniquely repurposed furniture, accessories and garden art.

80+ vendors and yummy food on site 9am-3pm.

Ride the Red www.hrrv.org Do Good. Feel Good. Ride the Red with Family and Friends. The 15th Annual bike ride for charity is to raise support for Hospice of the Red River Valley. The 13 mile ride starts and ends at Trefoil Park in North Fargo and follows along the recreation trail in the FM area. Check-in and registration begins at 9am with the ride leaving at 9:30am. $25 for adults, kiddos ride for FREE with a paid adult. Register by August 29th to guarantee your free t-shirt.

17-19

West Fest www.westfargond.gov A community celebration filled with activities for the family. Softball tourney, pancake feed, rummage sale, 10K run/2 mile/walk, parade and Firefighter’s Ball. For full event details, see the online schedule.

17 & 26

CPR for Family & Friends 701.234.5570 www.sanfordhealth.org Participants will learn the ABCs of CPR,

how to manage airway obstruction and will receive an American Heart Association participation card. 6pm-8pm on the 17th and 9am-11am on the 26th at Sanford Health [1711 University Dr, Fargo].

Art & Wine Walk 701.757.4051 www.visitgrandforks.com Join the North Valley Arts Council [NVAC], Downtown Development Association [DDA], local businesses and regional artists for an afternoon of wine tasting and art in Downtown Grand Forks and East Grand Forks, 1pm-5pm. Purchase a $15 map at the NVAC or DDA for those participating businesses. Enjoy snacks and wine samples. At 5pm bring your map to the Wrap Up Party at the Empire Arts Center [415 Demers Ave, Grand Forks] and turn it in to be eligible for one of many prize bags. For more information visit online.

German Cultural Festival 218.299.5452 www.hcscconline.org Celebrate German heritage with gourmet food, fine wine, beers and great music from 10am-5pm at Hjemkomst Center [202 1st Ave N].

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on the minds of moms | august • september twenty fifteen

B.L.A.S.T. Babysitter's Day Camp 701.364.1704 www.sanfordhealthemseducation.org Initial course, held at F-M Ambulance Service [2215 18th St S, Fargo], for teens and pre-teens on the responsibilities of caring for children. They will learn CPR and first aid for children, as well as diaper-changing techniques, when to call 911 and what will happen if they do need emergency assistance. The course is designed for young babysitters ages 11–15. Limited space. Register online.

19, 20, 26 & 27 Fall Festival 701.499.7788 www.fargoparks.com

Head to Rheault Farm [2902 25th St S, Fargo] for a ton of Fall fun! Arts & crafts, carnival games, face painting, inflatable bounce house and so much more. Free admission [ticket purchase required for games and rides], doors open 10am-5pm on the 19th and 26th, noon-5pm on the 20th and 27th.

Historic Hawthorne Home Tour www.facebook.com/HNAFargo

Take a Sunday stroll under the towering elms of one of Fargo's oldest neighborhoods and check out the five beautiful homes on the Historic Hawthorne Home Tour. Only 500 tickets available! Tickets go on sale September 1st at Nichole's Fine Pastry [13 8th St S, Fargo], Cenex Gateway Service Center [330 Main Ave, Fargo], and Rhombus Guys [606 Main Ave, Fargo]. $15 in advance and $20 on tour day. Check us out at www.facebook.com/HNAFargo for ticket availability and other information.

Bob Fiechtner Memorial Golf Tourney www.gigisplayhouse.org GiGi’s Playhouse and ‘The Fie’ golf tourney will be pairing up together at the Fargo Country Club for an afternoon of golf. The 7th Annual Bob Fiechtner Memorial Golf Tourney is in honor of a man who enjoyed golfing and having compassion with others. Bob’s connection to Gigi’s Playhouse is embodied in his beautiful grandson, Birk. Birk has Down Syndrome and shows his family possibility – not limitations. A true gift, Bob would have done anything and everything to help the cause. All proceeds raised will go towards the Believe in our Build Campaign. Learn more and get registered online at Gigi’s Playhouse.

september events

The Birth Circle facebook.com/groups/doulasrrv/ The Birth Circle is a free community resource for pregnant couples, new parents, and pregnancy/birth professionals. This session will include demos and resources on caring for baby, including babywearing, cloth diapering, infant massage and baby sign language. Hosted by Doulas of the Red River Valley, session are held at ecce yoga [216 N Broadway, Suite 204, Fargo] starting at 7pm. Join the discussion on Facebook at facebook.com/groups/doulasrrv/.

25 & 26

Wild Hog Half Marathon 701.780.9616 www.gfmarathon.com 3rd Annual Wild Hog Race Weekend in Grand Forks is back! Register now for the Family Fun Run, 5 & 10K, Half Marathon & Relays and plan to enjoy the Health & Fitness Expo and entertainment to celebrate your running accomplishments.

Fall Rummage Sale www.wfparks.org Over 120 vendor booths at the Veterans Memorial Arena [1201 7th Ave E, West Fargo], 7am-2pm! Exhibitors will be

selling rummage and garage sale items, clearance items, household items, crafts, antiques, collectibles, home-based business products and much more. Free parking. Concessions will be available throughout the show. Admission is $1/person, kids 17 & under free.

Illuminight 5K- Fargo www.illuminight5k.com Bring your crazy costumes, glow wear and flashy lights to ILLUMINIGHT 5K and illuminate the night. Whether you are walker, jogger, or a competitive runner, the energy of this event is contagious. Be prepared for a glowfully great time. The run will start about 30 minutes after sun down, but come out early for some pre ILLUMINIGHT 5K FUN!

PARK CHRISTIAN SCHOOL DISTINCTLY CHRISTIAN. ON PURPOSE.

ENROLL TODAY | K-12

Half and Full Day K available. Call for an Educational Consultation.

218.236.0500

ParkChristianSchool.org Shuttle available to and from West & South Fargo. Free busing in Moorhead.

www.onthemindsofmoms.com

PARK CHRISTIAN SCHOOL

august • september twenty fifteen | on the minds of moms

october events 1

Farmers' Market & Beyond 701.433.5360 www.wfparks.org Last day for fresh produce, berries, herbs, meats, jellies, flowers, hand-crafted items & agricultural products will be available for purchase 3:30pm-6:30pm at the South Elmwood Park parking lot [500 13th Ave W, West Fargo.

ZOOlebration www.redriverzoo.org ZOOlebration is the Red River Zoo's premier fundraising event! Enjoy an adventurous evening talking a trip around the world where you will learn about the Red River Zoo’s global conversation efforts, hear their plans for the future and meet Jack Hanna! Event at Courtyard by Marriott, Moorhead from 6pm-10pm. Tickets are on sale now.

1, 8, 15, 22 & 29

Safety Shoppe Car Seat Check 701.234.5570 www.sanfordhealth.org/ ClassesAndEvents Statistically four out of five car seats are installed incorrectly. Safe Kids Fargo/ Moorhead conducts Car Seat Check Ups at The Safety Shoppe [601 39th St N, Fargo] from 1:45pm-4:45pm. Trained technicians will be available to assist parents, grandparents, and caregivers with using their car seats correctly. The events are free and open to the public. Space is limited and appointments are required. Please note that it will take a minimum of 30 minutes per car seat per car.

B.L.A.S.T. Babysitter Training www.safekidsgf.com 701.780.5179 This is a babysitting class designed to teach 11-14 year-olds about the responsibilities of caring for children. Attendees receive a certificate of completion and course manual. This class is offered at Altru Health Systems from 9am-3pm. Fee is $45 and includes lunch. Pre-registration is required.

Girls on the Run 5k www.GOTRFargo.org Head to the Main Shelter at Lindenwood Park [1905 Roger Maris Dr, Fargo] and be a part of the inagural Girls on the Run Cass County 5k! The race starts at 9am and is open to the public. Register online today. All participants receive a technical t-shirt and medal!

GiGi’s Playhouse Fargo Buddy Walk www.upwithdownsfargo.com www.facebook.com/Buddywalkfargo Join us in celebrating and promoting the understanding and acceptance of all people with Down syndrome! This fun walk at Scheels Arena [5225 31st Ave S, Fargo] is from 9am-2pm with the 1 mile walk beginning at 10:30am.

Moos, Ewes & More! 701.231.9611 www.ag.ndsu.edu/ ansc/events_listing Head to the NDSU Equine Center [5140 19th Ave N Fargo], 10am-2pm for some FREE family oriented fun and take in a little slice of agriculture right here in Fargo. Meet

the animals that call NDSU home, taste ice cream samplers, enjoy agriculture activities, horsemanship demonstrations, sheep shearing demonstrations, and MUCH more!

TableScapes 218.331.2024 www.creativecare.org TableScapes is an annual event based around creativity. The table designs are as unique as the people CCRI supports. It’s a night of food, fellowship and celebration honoring the accomplishments of CCRI Clients. Enjoy an evening of happy hour, short program and dinner while you support the community and help raise funds that are used to enrich lives.

Safe Kids Car Seat Check-Up 701.780.1856 www.safekidsgf.org Did you know that 4 out 5 car seats are used incorrectly? Could your child's be one of them? Safe Kids Grand Forks, in partnership with Altru Health System and Rydell GM Auto Center, offers a monthly car seat check-up event on the second Thursday of each month. This event is free and no appointments are necessary. Come to Rydell's [2700 South Washington

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For something unique, shop

2603 Kirsten Lane South #103 Fargo, North Dakota 58104 701-356-6684 Monday-Friday 10-6 Saturday 10-3 Sunday closed

on the minds of moms | august • september twenty fifteen

St, Grand Forks], 4pm-7pm, and certified car seat technicians will check on your seat and ensure your children are riding safely.

10 & 20

CPR for Family & Friends 701.234.5570 www.sanfordhealth.org Participants will learn the ABCs of CPR, how to manage airway obstruction and will receive an American Heart Association participation card. 9am-11am on the 10th and 6pm-8pm on the 20th at Sanford

Health [1711 University Dr, Fargo].

11 & 12

Women’s Business Summit www.trainingnd.com This Summit, held at the Bismarck Civic Center [315 S 5th St, Bismarck] will feature two intense days of training, networking, business growth opportunities, personal development, professional focus and of course…. Fun! Whether a professional in the workplace, a business owner or simply a woman aspiring to improve herself, you will be able to choose a customized learning track that fits your needs with 20+ breakout sessions available to choose from. Keynote speaker, Melissa West founder and CEO of Extreme Results, LLC., will share her story and insights.

Tummy to Tot Expo www.safekidsgf.com 701.780.1660 Find the latest products, safety information, services, and fashions for you and your little one all under one roof. From 12pm-3pm at Alerus Center, Grand Forks.

Moonlight Monster Mash www.fargoparks.com Vampires, ghosts and skeletons welcome 6:30pm-9pm at Fargo Youth Commission [2500 18th St S, Fargo]. All participants are encouraged to wear a costume and dance the night away. Explore the haunted attic, play ghoulish games, and trick-or-treat for some spooky snacks. Enjoy a live DJ all night long and a spooktacular entertainment show by magician Jeffery Salveson at 7:30pm. $3.00 admission [ages 2 & under are free] and parental supervision required.

october events

RACC Harvest Moon Fling 701.293.7273 www.raccfm.com Support the Rape And Abuse Crisis Center with a night of fun. Wine Tasting, silent auction, hors d'oeuvres and live entertainment will fill the night. Call or go online to purchase tickets.

All event listings displayed within OTMOM are carefully selected to provide diverse options for families. It is always a good idea to call ahead to confirm the information provided. Although it is not possible to list every event happening in the FM area, we encourage organizations to submit events for consideration to events@onthemindsofmoms.com

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FOR MORE INFORMATION OR PERSONAL TOUR Lori Hager, Admissions Director 701.893.3271 Lori.Hager@jp2schools.org HOLy

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august • september twenty fifteen | on the minds of moms

rowing up, Heidi [Larson] Holland [43] was no stranger to hard work and a busy schedule. Since high school she always had at least two jobs going at once...waitressing, fast food, paper routes, and various campus

jobs. After college her field of exercise science and coaching took her into nursing homes, high schools, corporate fitness centers, and private homes, and eventually an independent personal training business throughout the Minneapolis area and Cayman Islands. Today life isn’t any different. Married to her high-school sweetheart Chris, Heidi is mom to seven, college age down to first grade: three step kids, Tyler, Riley, and Trinity, and four daughters, Faith, Anna, Jordan, and Sarah. Family, faith, and fun surround Heidi, so when the personal and very sentimental pipe dream to open a coffee shop presented itself, Heidi was all in. Beans Coffee Bar opened November 2014 in South Fargo and Heidi hasn’t looked back. Overwhelmed by all the support and humbled by the early success, Heidi is moved beyond words to bring Beans to the community while ‘pouring love…one cup at a time.’

photos: rialee photography | sabrina kliniske

heidi holland

beans coffee bar

what inspired you to open a coffee bar? Beans was completely inspired by my father, who shared a profound love of coffee with me. When he passed away very suddenly in 2004, I dreamed of opening a coffee shop in his honor...a place where I know he would have loved to hang out and would have loved the coffee. A place founded on family, faith, and bringing goodness to others every day. A place that operates as a team, based on the values and principles he used in his career as a football coach. A place where every time I hear someone say Beans, I think of my beloved dad.

mom preneur

and life-giving words in the hopes of making their day and life a little bit better. We give free refills on our daily brews when customers hang out with us in Beans. We have a play area for kids, tons of tables and comfy chairs for meetings of any kind, and a sit-up bar with outlets perfect for hanging out and watching Beans behind-the-scenes. We also have a drive thru and a new beautiful summer patio! Our mission is to give every customer a sense of joy and belonging, to "pour love...one cup at a time."

where did the name ‘Beans’ come from? My parents and siblings started calling me Beans as a little girl, and to this day my family and friends still call me Beans. It was very rare to hear dad call me Heidi...pretty much only when I was in trouble! So when the dream of Beans began after dad passed away, Beans was the perfect and only name choice for the shop.

in three words, how do you best describe Beans Coffee Bar? Blessed, Delicious, Love

what sets Beans Coffee Bar apart from other coffee shops?

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Beans is completely ‘others-focused’...focused on every customer, every person near and far, local and global. Beans starts with the BEST coffees and ingredients in each of our menu items, and of course the BEST mini donuts. We top every hot beverage with a mini donut, and it has become a huge part of what makes us so special. We strive to create a place that feels like home, to be a place you never want to leave. Our daily Beans-of-Lights are posted every single day in the shop and online, to encourage everyone we come in contact with via scriptures august • september twenty fifteen | on the minds of moms

mompreneur what is Beans best-kept secret? The seven menu items named after our seven kiddos...it is always fun when someone notices it! And of course our kids each think "their" drink is the best. It warms my heart every single time I hear a customer say my kids' names when they order something...makes me feel like a part of them is with me somehow when I am working.

what is something you didn’t expect when opening your business? I honestly did not expect Beans to be so successful so quickly. I was so nervous and thought it would take time to get business going. Our community, and amazingly even far beyond our community, has fallen in love with Beans and supported us with open arms and hearts since the day we opened our doors...I have tears in my eyes just talking about it.

system that makes all the Beans magic happen and gives me great peace of mind.

what is necessary to keep your day running smoothly? For me personally and professionally, every day NEEDS to have some coffee, some prayer, and some love and laughter to make it run smoothly no matter what comes my way.

what advice would you give other women considering the mompreneur title? My advice to moms in business is to keep being mom first, and everything else will feel less stressful and more balanced. Be strong in your faith and in keeping your priorities as they should be, and you will joyfully succeed and LOVE your life as a Mompreneur!

what would you like to experience someday? I would like to experience one of our children taking over Beans when they are older, keeping it going forever.

how would you describe your support system? My support system is amazing! My husband is my biggest fan and supporter and business partner...the dream of Beans would never have happened without his initiative and love. Our kids and families support me every day. And the Beans team, and especially our brilliant manager Brittany, is the daily support

Beans Coffee Bar Hours: 6 am–8 pm Monday-Saturday 8 am–6 pm Sundays The Galleria on Veterans 5675 26th Ave S, Suite 100, Fargo 701.540.9055 www.beansfargo.com

Protect him...even if you’re not there Call today to discuss your estate plan

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on the minds of moms | august • september twenty fifteen

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i honestly did not expect Beans to be so successful so quickly

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august • september twenty fifteen | on the minds of moms

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prairie-stjohns.com | Fargo, ND

e met Angela Kolling one year after the death of her precious daughter, Morgan. Angela shared the story of Morgan’s battle with brain cancer and how she, her husband, Joe, and son, Andrew, leaned on each other to

keep moving forward. Angela inspired us with her passion to spread awareness of childhood cancer, the strength of her marriage, and her ability to encourage Andrew to be adventurous and experience life when many of us would let our grief wrap our child in some type of protective bubble to shield him from anything that would hurt him. Angela also shared a dream back in 2010: “I have always thought about nursing, but never knew if I would be good at it,” Angela says. “I still don’t know that, but I know that the nurses we dealt with daily were a rock for me. I think having been through this journey I can be that rock for somebody else and take care of patients very well. I know that I will be a great

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nurse ONE day.” Well, that day is today. Angela is now a Registered Nurse working at the Roger Maris Cancer Center.

photos: rialee photography | ria czichotzki

on the minds of moms | august • september twenty fifteen

angela kolling

learn from yesterday, live for today, hope for tomorrow

it’s been five years since we shared your story. what has the last five years brought you? When I met with you last, I had just decided that I was going back to school to become a nurse, so four of these last five years brought a lot of stress, sweat, tears, and zero social life. I just completed my RN in May of 2014 and, to be honest, I wouldn't trade it for the world. what do you most want people to learn from you? One thing I continue to tell people is to chase your dreams; you are never too old. I know firsthand that life is not a promise, so live it being happy and by doing something that fulfills you. in what ways do you, Joe, and Andrew keep Morgan’s memory present? We continue to talk about memories of Morgan and

where are they now

share the stories that make us laugh and sometimes make us cry. We still bring balloons to the cemetery on her birthday. Running for the Ribbons is an event we do every year to honor and remember Morgan. Our house still displays her artwork, which we will cherish forever. tell us more about Running for the Ribbons? We just completed our sixth annual Running for the Ribbons, a 5K walk/run that is held every April in Kindred, ND. It is a family friendly event that allows kids to be part of the day as well. Bikes, strollers, skateboards, and even dogs are welcome. The event was created to raise money for those who battle cancer and also to bring awareness to childhood cancers. One hundred percent of the proceeds goes back to families who are battling cancer. If people are interested in joining the

* mom’s treatment FREE with 2 paid children, call for details

dr. ames dr. harvey

www.har veyandamesortho.com detroit lakes 605 highway 34 east 218-847-3372

moorhead 1550 30th avenue south 218-236-1322

august • september twenty fifteen | on the minds of moms

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using the latest technology to create amazing results.

where are they now

Read Angela’s August-September 2010 cover story in its entirety here:

www.onthemindsofmoms.com/past-issues/

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Love Hope Family

on the minds of moms | august • september twenty fifteen

festivities next year, watch for registration to be posted at www.prayforgray.org. are Morgan’s Make-A-Wish notecards still available to purchase? Yes…you can still purchase them through Make-A-Wish. I want to say that these cards have raised over $30,000 so far. It still brings tears to my eyes thinking how her dream to raise $100 turned into $3,000 so that she could grant one wish. Here it is, six years later, and she is still helping an organization that meant so much to her. how do you and Andrew stay connected? He is a 16-year-old boy... so if anybody has any tips, I am open!

elim children’s center 701.271.1810

• 3534 University Dr S

www.elimcare.org/ecc

a ministry of elim care, fargo nd

loving.

learning.

what is something you are passionate about and brings you joy? When I was 18 I started to donate blood, then I kind of fell off the donation wagon. However, after watching Morgan go through cancer treatments, I remembered how good it felt to donate and at that point I saw firsthand the importance of blood donation. I am happy to say that I have donated seven gallons to date and am knocking on the door to eight gallons. I try making a point to donate as often as I can. It’s truly a gift that gives back to people and doesn't cost you anything but your time.

Social Painting Events! It’s an opportunity for people to relax, have some laughs and get creative with their friends and coworkers. It’s fun art, not fine art, so whether you’re the artistic type or can’t draw a stick figure, you will have a good time. Just sit down to your canvas with a drink, and we’ll help you paint your masterpiece!

Join us in our studio, or we can bring the party to you! Great idea for corporate events.

www.CreativelyUncorked.com

Book your holiday party now!

Studio: 218-477-1987

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what do you think Morgan would say about you becoming an oncology nurse? I know that she would be proud of me. There were many days I wanted to quit school, and, believe me, when the going got tough I would see a 'sign' that she was cheering me on. She used to tell me that I should be a nurse, as she always would say, "You take such good care of me." Granted, it is so different when you are the parent caring for your child. I knew from the day I walked back into the college classroom that Oncology Nursing was what I wanted to do. The nurses we had throughout Morgan's experience were my role models. I just hope that one day I will be able to provide the support to a patient and her family the way they did for us during Morgan's journey. I do feel that I can honestly empathize with the patients and their families. I understand the fear of scans and waiting for results, I understand the stress of the unknown. I feel blessed to be able to help them.

growing.

august • september twenty fifteen | on the minds of moms

gettinâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; through it

the teenage yearsâ&#x20AC;Ś embracing with gratitude

gettin’ through it story by | teresa lewis

y husband and I were enjoying a beautiful summer morning on the deck at the lake last year. We watched as our adorable four-year-old neighbor skipped and sang while she helped her grandma pick up branches in the yard to add to the fire pit. She reminded us so much of our daughters at that age…talkative, easy going, and easily entertained. As I sipped my coffee, I found myself lamenting the fact that our teenage daughters, at that time 17 and 14, were not always talkative, easy going, nor easily entertained. Oh, how I longed for days past when I could say, “Let’s go to the park!” and they would be thrilled beyond measure and ready to go before I could blink. Now I could say, “Let’s go to the mall!” and even that would be met with resistance and certain criteria [could their friends come, how much money was I giving them, what stores are we going to, and so on]. Then there was the stark reality that most days they no longer thought I was cool. In their younger days, I could goof around, tease them, and be silly and I knew they adored me. Now most attempts at fun and craziness are met with a variety of responses from cringing to eye rolling. Simply put, it’s a transition from adoration to agitation! Just days after I had these thoughts, I was preparing to speak about embracing an “attitude of gratitude” mindset. It dawned on me on that as much as I focus on that mindset and practice it in many areas of life, I was falling short as a parent of teens. I was wishing for

1st visit

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days gone by and not fully appreciating the blessings right in front of me. While my daughters may not always be talkative, easy going, nor easily entertained, they had grown up to be smart, independent, confident, and not afraid to express their thoughts. THAT is a lot to be grateful for! I realized I needed to get back to being grateful for what was right in front of me. With that realization, I made an intentional effort to appreciate their independence and cut them a little slack for being, well, teenagers. A few weeks later we took a family vacation. The four of us. In a car. For several hours. I was equipped with my attitude of gratitude. What unfolded in the next few days was, in my eyes, a mini-miracle. Everyone got along better than we normally do on a car trip and it was easy and relaxing. In fact, at one point the girls were in the back seat singing as they tried to recall lyrics from nursery rhymes they used to listen to in grandma’s car. Rather than making a comment about it and risking agitation, I silently said a prayer of thanks for little moments such as these. The singing continued. Most of us can recall our teenage years and remember the emotional roller coaster. It’s like walking a tightrope where you crave your freedom but feel wary of independence and all it entails. It’s not an easy time. And most of us would agree that the challenges our teens face now are multiplied compared to what other generations faced. Knowing they are facing overwhelming emotions and situations doesn’t give them free reign for disrespect;

year of age!

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august • september twenty fifteen | on the minds of moms

gettin’ through it it’s about having compassion, listening when they are ready to talk, and providing a safe haven for them. Speaking of safe havens…that was another thing we’ve had to come to terms with. We found that our teens wanted to be holed up in their rooms for extended periods of time. Teens need their space and it’s okay to give it to them, as long as it’s not evidence of a more significant withdrawal issue. According to child psychologist Dr. Peter Marshall, “Privacy’s important for teens partly because they need to separate. It’s tempting to think that they’re just goofing off, but they spend a large part of their time just thinking about things, trying to figure out who they are, who they want to become. There’s a lot of work for them to do, and they need some space to do it.”

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It wasn’t too long ago that our youngest, following in the footsteps of her older sister at that age, began spending more and more time in her room. One Saturday she was home and very content to be in her room. So content, in fact, she probably would have been in there all day. Recognizing this, I gave her a three-hour time limit to

on the minds of moms | august • september twenty fifteen

no matter how old your kids are, know that where they are at now is a stage and within each stage there is much to be grateful for. be in her room. I set a reminder on my phone so I would be sure to follow through [something I’ve not always excelled at]. As the deadline approached, nearly to the minute, I heard her door open, and then I heard a bit of commotion upstairs. Further investigation indicated she was getting settled in the hallway outside of her bedroom with her bean bag and a book! [Well, I guess she met the technical requirements of the rule…]

gettin’ through it We’ve all heard it before—“the time goes fast—before you know it, they’ll be graduating”—we’ve heard this, we think we get it, but we don’t really take it to heart. We get too caught up in the moments: the sleepless nights, the moments of tantrums, the endless questions of “why,” and the challenges of a full schedule. Everything is a stage, the stages will pass quickly, and someday we will wish we had these moments again [at least some of them]. This holds true for the enjoyable stages and the not-so-enjoyable stages. I’m constantly presented with chances to practice this attitude of gratitude. Recently my newly licensed-to-drive daughter was backing my car out of the driveway. I was moving grandpa's vehicle so she could back out...well, imagine my thoughts as I [too far away to do anything] could see the front end of my car scraping against a trailer that was also in the driveway! My first thought was not one of gratitude; in fact, I said some things that weren't very pleasant or uplifting. Thankfully, in a matter of minutes, I calmed down and gave my daughter the "it's only a car" speech. And shortly after

we were able to laugh about it. As I considered what to be grateful for in this situation, here are a few thoughts that came to my mind: • We have not only one, but two daughters who are healthy and happy; some people don't. • My daughters still have one of their grandpas around; many kids don't. • We have cars to drive; some people don't. • Now my front fenders match again. I kind of hit a boulder [okay, a large rock on a boulevard] with the other fender a few months ago, so there's that. No matter how old your kids are, know that where they are at now is a stage and within each stage there is much to be grateful for. As for me, maybe my kids just aren’t letting on that they still think I’m cool. I think I’ll hold on to that thought and be grateful for them, no matter what. Teresa Lewis is on a mission to make a profound and positive impact on the world. She’s an inspirational speaker, mindset coach, and morning co-host on Life 97.9. She and her husband, Steve, and daughters Alyssa and Tara live in Horace and enjoy time at Lake Lida.

www.onthemindsofmoms.com

august • september twenty fifteen | on the minds of moms

oh, by the way

techy mom story by | deb uglem

www.onthemindsofmoms.com

e were on our way to visit my daughter’s college and let’s just say I thought I remembered how to get there. My memory lapse started a somewhat heated discussion. I am not saying it was an argument but tensions did begin to rise. I decided to consult my electronic device and after a few commands a pleasant voice [compared to mine, anyway] directed us to make a U-turn in 50 feet. That is when my husband said, “How many times do you think Siri has saved our marriage?” My response, “Too many to count!” We both chuckled as we drove into the correct parking lot.

Now, I know my husband was totally joking. It’s not like Siri can take credit for our marital bliss, but I am pretty sure technology deserves a bigger percentage of credit than I would like to admit. It is really quite amazing when you think about the difference technology can make in a relationship. It can stop a really important dispute in a matter of seconds. Like who sang your

on the minds of moms | august • september twenty fifteen

favorite 70’s tune or if shallots are the little onions or clams. You can totally find each other in a crowd. Add calendar reminders on top of that, and it is just hard to argue that Siri isn’t helping us out. Not to mention it’s just plain fun. The hubby and I have adopted our very own text language. We have phrases and inside jokes, nothing crazy, but I do know his auto corrects and he knows mine—wink, wink. How romantic, right? And of course no one can deny the power of that kissy face emoticon. It just makes every super-important text better. So this got me to thinking. How has my relationship with my kids changed? I would say that technology and specifically social media has made me somewhat of a better parent. I know, I know—we should all “unplug.” Look at each other and have real conversations. And of course monitor the time our children are on social media and electronic devices. I believe in all of that, but I also think the good outweighs the bad as far as technology is concerned. My kids have been using the mobile platform for some time now and most parents

oh, by the way would probably say they started too early. Time for my confession. I bought their first cell phone when I was headed back to work full time and, if I am honest with myself, it was guilt that made that decision and purchase. All of the sudden we found ourselves with six smart phones and a Verizon bill that rivals our mortgage [that’s what Dad says, anyway]. I am proud of how far I have come from those days of college working on my first Mac. Yes, I have Facebook, Snapchat, and Instagram, but my favorite is Twitter. I love the challenge of being clever in 140 characters or less. I have my glitches. For example, just the other day I posted a picture of my daughter and me on Twitter with the caption “Ban.” Oops. I have no idea how it happened. I am pretending now that I created a secret code. I am sure #Ban will be trending shortly. Glitches aside, once I embraced all things mobile I began to recognize the changes. I became more aware of what was going on in my children’s lives. I followed, friended, favorited, retweeted, and liked many of my kid’s posts and they did the same to me. I was out of my wheelhouse and into theirs. I now feel like I am a part of their everyday lives by jumping into this social media circle. I enjoy knowing where they are and what they are doing [in that notso-helicopter mom way]. I have learned more about their personalities and senses of humor. In short, the power of technology has made this family a little closer. We have group text messages that last for days even though we are states away from each other. I feel in touch with the people who are close to my heart but not

close to my home. As I look back now I’m glad I headed down that techy road. I have changed my family trip checklist from ‘did you remember your PJs?’ to ‘don’t forget your charger!’ And I am sure my kids are simply thrilled when they get a Snapchat from Mom. I know I am still learning the ropes and it’s not like I would call myself tech savvy, but I don’t have to call the IT help desk [my kids] as much anymore. So my social media advice for moms—set your ground rules and enjoy the adventure. If you see your children, significant other, or coworker reading their phone instead of looking at you, don’t get upset—shoot them a text! I guarantee you they will look up and start a conversation, or maybe you will be lucky enough to get one of those super-cute kissy emoticons. #yougotechymom Raised in Finley, ND, Deb has called Moorhead her home for the last 13 years. A graduate of Drake University in Des Moines, IA, with a degree in Journalism and Mass Communications, she is currently Marketing & Communications Director for Wanzek Construction. Deb welcomes the pleasant distraction that writing brings and thanks her children, Jake [21], Tony [20], Nick [20], and Emily [18] for inspiration. Deb and her husband Tim like to spend their free time with their kids and on the golf course.

HOW DO CHILDREN LEARN TO TALK AND RECOGNIZE FACES? HELP US FIND OUT. The High Level Vision Lab at NDSU is looking for children ages 3 months to 10 years to participate in fun studies.

510 Center Avenue Moorhead, MN 218.233.6117

www.onthemindsofmoms.com

For more information, contact: Benjamin Balas at benjamin.balas@ndsu.edu or 701-231-6105 or visit www.ndsu.edu/centers/cvcn/labs/balas.

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www.onthemindsofmoms.com photo: thuen studios | scott thuen

on the minds of moms | august • september twenty fifteen

food for thought

taco seasoning mix 1. 2.

Mix all of the spices together in a bowl. Brown 1 pound ground beef until almost cooked thoroughly; add the seasoning mix to taste. 3. Continue cooking until beef is safely cooked through. OPTIONAL: Add 1 Tablespoon flour to meat and seasoning mixture and stir for one minute. 4. Add ⅔ cup water and simmer until juices thicken. 5. Serve and enjoy!

shared by | kari klingsporn hitterdal

you need: 1 Tablespoon chili powder ¼ teaspoon garlic powder ¼ teaspoon onion powder ¼ teaspoon crushed red pepper flakes OR cayenne pepper OR chipotle pepper [my favorite] ¼ teaspoon Mexican oregano [found in the bulk seasonings in the produce department] ½ teaspoon paprika [smoked paprika is really good, too] 1½ teaspoons ground cumin 1 teaspoon salt [optional] 1 teaspoon pepper *This recipe makes just enough seasoning for 1 pound meat

If bulk prep is your style use 2 to 3 Tablespoons of the seasoning mix per one pound of meat. The bulk recipe makes enough seasoning mix for 4 to 5 pounds of meat, depending on how boldly seasoned you like your tacos.

feeding your family TIP: Making your own baby food couldn’t be easier and is a huge budget booster. If you are making vegetables for dinner, don’t toss the leftovers! Puree the vegetables in a blender, food processor, or food mill until smooth, adding a bit of water to help with pureeing, if needed. Pour into an ice-cube tray and put in the freezer until veggies are fully frozen, 2 to 3 hours. Pop the frozen vegetable cubes out of the ice cube tray and store in a freezer-safe container. Thaw the individual servings of vegetables as needed and you’ve created a healthy meal for your baby for pennies a serving! bonus tip: Cook veggies for baby in a separate pan so you can withhold seasoning and sauces. Or, simply hold off seasoning until they are on your plate so any leftovers can be used for baby food.

riginally from Bismarck, ND, Randy, a Critical Care Registered Nurse for Sanford AirMed flight team, never expected to be a stay-at-home Dad when he became a parent. After a sudden daycare closure left them

without childcare for their baby girl Ava [14 months], Randy and wife Amanda were fortunate to learn Randy could change his work schedule to a weekend shift and become ‘daddy-daycare’ during the week. He admits this in itself has made the list of ‘never expected’ expand far greater than he ever thought. He never saw himself being interested in subjects like normal development, napping, feeding, and socialization with other kids; he also didn’t expect to enjoy it as much as he does. When Randy isn’t caring for critical patients through the skies over the region, he enjoys running, swimming, grilling, and vacationing with his family.

photos: caitlin killoran photography | caitlin killoran

randy johnson age 31, west fargo.nd

i’m not embarrassed to admit… I probably enjoy going to the pool more than Ava does. In fact, my wife and I were looking at having our honeymoon at a huge waterpark. I love being in the water, indoor or outdoor pool, it doesn’t matter.

the habit i would like to break… I consume massive amounts of Diet Mountain Dew daily. I am always trying to drink more water instead.

the one gadget i can’t live without… my grill! I could eat off the grill three times a day and be fine. It’s fast, easy, and most of the time involves some type of meat. I am tempted to try and grill a meatloaf this summer. I feel like I eat healthier on the grill.

i’m not a big fan of… waffles or pancakes; for some unknown reason, I have never liked them. These are probably the only two foods I am not a big of fan of; and I’m probably

rad dad

the only person I know who isn’t.

something i’m proud of myself for doing… I was able to finish a full marathon two years ago. It probably helped that I had a few friends to run with and my amazing wife cheering me on at the finish line. I have done a few smaller races since, when time allows.

my profession gives me… new and different challenges every day and has stretched my nursing skills far greater than I could have ever imagined. It gives me the opportunity to work with all types of patients, whether it is tiny babies just discharged from the hospital, to women with high-risk pregnancies, or patients in their 90s. It also gives me the ability to work with different types of patients and settings, from landing on the highway to transport a motor-vehicle-accident victim, to landing at a smaller hospital for a person

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august • september twenty fifteen | on the minds of moms

rad dad

having a heart attack or breathing problems. It more importantly gives me a huge sense of accomplishment to help others in life-threatening situations.

i wish i knew more about… vehicle repair. I can replace a tail light, tire, and change the oil, but that is about it. I am jealous of anyone who can tell what’s wrong with any vehicle by how it runs, sounds, or smells.

my daughter has my… mischievous side; her mind is always going! She takes great joy in getting into absolutely everything, and waiting for my reaction.

i could spend hours… outdoors with my family. From sitting in front of a bonfire, on my deck with a cold drink, on a patio somewhere, or on the hammock in the backyard. My wife and I dream of owning a lake home someday.

i’m a sucker for… documentaries on Netflix. I am fascinated by other people’s lives, backgrounds, and challenges. My wife is always amazed by what kind of weird reality TV I can be sucked into.

i’m a big believer in… a good work ethic in whatever you choose to do. I think it is important to be self-sufficient and work for what you have. I hope I can teach Ava to be a hard worker and take pride in a good work ethic as well.

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Pride in our PurPose

Early Childhood Family Education

Strengthening Families & Supporting Parents Call or go online for a list of our fall classes 218-284-3400 https://communityed.moorheadschools.org 42

on the minds of moms | august • september twenty fifteen

Crisis: Teenage Suicide by Abby Tow — Executive Director of Imagine Thriving

Teenage suicides are unthinkable events. Leaving devastated families, friends, and communities to pick up the pieces, a teen’s suicide often prompts questions of what signs were missed, what more could have been done to help stop it from happening. According to North Dakota Department of Health, suicide is the second leading cause of death among youth ages 15-24. The 2013 North Dakota Youth Risk Behavior Survey shows that 11% of Fargo area high school students had actually attempted suicide one or more times during the previous 12 months. 14% of students seriously considered suicide. While those statistics are frightening, teenage suicide is preventable, and Imagine Thriving is working to provide students, parents and schools with critically needed education and resources.

WHAT PUTS A TEEN AT RISK FOR A SUICIDE ATTEMPT? According to the American Psychological Association (APA), there are several factors which increase a teen’s likelihood for attempting suicide. Mental illnesses, like anxiety or depression, pose the largest risk factor for teens, followed by a history of substance-abuse problems (often used as self-medication or means of coping with a mental illness). These issues are made worse by other factors including bullying, sexual orientation confusion, interpersonal losses, family violence, and physical or sexual abuse.

WARNING SIGNS FOR SUICIDAL BEHAVIOR: • Talking about dying, or saying things like “I wish I wasn’t here,” “I wish I was never born,” “you’d be better off without me” or making mention of self-harm • Change in personality: Teens may become sad, withdrawn, anxious, or apathetic • Change in behavior: Lack of focus in school, work, routine tasks

• Change in sleep patterns: Insomnia, nightmares, oversleeping

COMMON MYTHS AND FACTS Myth: Non-fatal attempts are only attention-getting behaviors. Fact: For some people suicidal behaviors are serious invitations to others to help them live. Rather than punishing or reprimanding someone who has attempted, offer help and alternative solutions. All suicidal behaviors should be taken seriously. Myth: Most suicides occur with little or no warning. Fact: Most people communicate warning signs of how they are feeling. Warning signs may be direct statements, emotional reactions or behaviors. Myth: Talking about suicide with someone may give them the idea to complete suicide. Fact: Talking about suicide does not create nor increase the risk. The best way to identify those thinking of suicide is to ask them directly.

• Recent loss

Myth: Just because they talk about suicide does not mean they will go through with it. Fact: Almost everyone who completes suicide leaves clues or gives warning that they are thinking of suicide. All suicide threats should be taken seriously, no matter how casually said.

• Lack of hope for the future

Source: North Dakota Department of Health

• Change in eating habits • Acting erratically, harming self or others • Low self-esteem

A teen exhibiting these signs and symptoms is not necessarily suicidal, but if issues are severe or ongoing, parents should seek professional mental health assistance for their children. Source: American Psychological Association

HOW CAN YOU HELP A TEEN AT RISK OF COMMITTING SUICIDE? The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline is 1-800-237-8255, and provides immediate assistance for individuals in crisis situations, putting them in touch with the nearest available mental health care professionals.

Our children are in crisis. But there is hope. It begins with you.

The ImagineThriving.org Resources page hosts a list of mental health care facilities in the Fargo-Moorhead area. The site also provides additional resources and tips for opening up conversations with your children about what they might be going through. You can help local students imagine themselves thriving by donating at ImagineThriving.org.

imaginethriving.org

just a thought

what goes around, comes around

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story by | kathleen wrigley

eenage girls are extra-special creatures. Experts have widely studied the relationship between teen girls and their moms, and agree that this bond is one of the most complex of all familial relationships. Can I get an “A-A-A-MEN?” That is comforting. Seriously. I’m a trained and licensed child and family therapist. Goodie gum drops for me, right? Diplomas and titles don’t compare to hands-on experience for this hefty job. And all the training in the world won’t make this phase easier for either one of us—mom or daughter. 44

on the minds of moms | august • september twenty fifteen

The mother-daughter relationship is intense. Girls are designed differently than boys—not just their parts. Everything is different. According to an article by Dr. Carl Pickhardt in Psychology Today, “Adolescent girls have a more complicated sex role passage in the family than do sons, and moms are usually more intimately involved in this passage than dads.” OK. I’ll buy that. He goes on to say—and I’m having an out-of-body experience here as I remember this from graduate school coursework—“Over the course of adolescence, issues of ‘attachment versus separation’ and issues of ‘similarity versus differentiation’ are contested

just a thought by the young person to establish independence and individuality.”

innocently commented: “I love the polka dots.” Child #1 responds: “I.like.stripes.” I say, perhaps a bit too cheerily, “Oooohhh I like stripes, too.” Child #1 bites back, “I like Having a sense of humor about all this is a good start, plaid.” I smiled. She rolled her eyes. but oftentimes remembering our own teen years and understanding and appreciating where these kiddos This is her love language, People. are in their development is important to survive and Moms: A good sense of humor goes a long way. I LOL’d nourish this special relationship. [take that, Child #1] when we went on a family walk There are biological and social issues competing for recently. Child #1 purposefully tried to step on every attention. Teenagers generally want freedom from crack on the ground…to break her mother’s back. You family restraints. They need more time with friends and see, our youngest daughter, Child #3, who is full of more privacy. They also declare themselves different rainbows and butterflies at the innocent age of seven, from their younger selves or siblings, and they darn shucks and jives, tiptoes and two-steps when she walks. well want to be treated differently—like with reckless She is mindful of every crack and line in her path, abandon. They complain about rules and schedules and refusing to step on a single one of them. She would obligations, but those things provide safety and security. sooner sprain an ankle before stepping on a crack to Quite honestly, teens probably need more supervision break mommy’s back. Mommy’s still cool and fun in than a four year old. The stakes are higher. It’s their Child #3’s non-hormonal world. job to fight for freedom, and it’s our job to loosen the Big sister—Child #1—is amused and annoyed by her leash, a bit. It’s a fine line. And it is hard. For everyone. little sister and follows behind her, smooshing her Our oldest child, who will remain nameless per her Birkenstock sandal into every line and crack in the request, is a 14-year-old girl. A teenager. We will call cement. Birky-sandals used to symbolize peace and her Child #1, to protect her identity. Just for kicks, let’s try to see the world from our teenage daughter’s perspective, which is something like this: Most everything mom does is wrong. Mom is not fun or funny. Mom doesn’t understand or know what it feels like to be Child #1. Mom is not cool, and the harder she tries, the more ridiculous she looks. Mom is demanding [throwing dirty clothes in the laundry basket is ridiculously absurd], and she is out of touch. Sound familiar? Moms: Be strong. Be kind. You are fun. You are cool. Look around you. There are women all over the world who have survived the teen years with their daughters. Thank you, God, for providing these living, breathing examples of light and hope. We shall overcome.

It is important for us to recognize that these creatures like to have the last word. And it probably needs to be opposite of ours. Most of the time it’s harmless. Let it be. For instance, Child #1 and I stood in the check-out line at TJMaxx looking at the rolls of wrapping paper. I

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I try not to get discouraged when Child #1 enters the room, and I cheerfully greet her with: “Good morning, Honey. Your hair looks pretty when it’s wavy like that,” and she grunts at the abomination of such a comment, tying her beautiful mane up in a messy bun. Take that. r mobile app

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just a thought love, Man. Where is the love? I’ll tell you where the love is: It’s drowning in hormones, for now. But not forever. These stories are harmless, unless of course you count my feelings or ego being trampled on. I hear the same stories over and over again from other parents. They’re pretty universal. Change the color, the language, the dialect, the name of the child, and you will see that our Child #1 is a typical teenage girl. There’s a reason researchers and specialists say that the relationship between a mom and her teenage daughter is one of the most complex and challenging in a family. But don’t fret…There is a pot of gold at the end of this rainbow. We need to ride out the flood of this horrendous hormonal storm because in the end, the mother-daughter bond is like no other, and the friendship—after the hard work is done—can be satisfying and impenetrable. Look all around us. People have lived full and happy lives after raising a teenage girl. Isn’t that encouraging news?

comes around. Our little girls will never be little again. But they’ll return. In the meantime, let’s pledge to hold on to our senses of humor. Someday they’ll think we’re funny and cool again. And document your stories, so you can laugh at them later. I have great hope that Child #1 will appreciate this perspective when she’s raising her own sharp-tongued, strong-willed, quick-witted, smart Baby Girl, and she’s looking for the optimism and hope that only her own survivor mom can provide. Kathleen serves on a number of community and statewide boards, committees, and leadership councils, and enjoys volunteering in church, in her kids’ school, and community programs/events. Kathleen is passionate about victims’ rights and helping to promote balance and fairness in the criminal justice system. She is also deeply interested in advocacy, education, programs, and research relating to the protection of children. Fitness is an integral part of Kathleen’s daily routine and helps her sustain her own mental health! Kathleen’s column “ just a thought” has been a regularly occurring piece in “on the minds of moms” since 2009. This Philadelphia native is married to a fourth-generation North Dakotan and ND’s Lieutenant Governor, Drew, and proudly considers North Dakota her home. They have three children. Before becoming a mom, she was director for Bismarck’s Child Advocacy Center and was a speechwriter. Kathleen received a BS from Pennsylvania State University and completed her graduate studies at Temple University in Philadelphia.

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But we mustn’t falter. We must stand in support of one another, dodging the eye rolls and slammed bedroom doors. Be strong, Warrior Moms. What goes around,

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t h u e n s t u di o s . c o m

shannon bock

story by | sheri kleinsasser stockmoe

efore she entered the building she did a quick check. Shoes unscuffed, hair in place, no remnants of lunch in the teeth, shirt straightened and necklace adjusted. She was ready for this interview. Deep breath, open the door. “HI, I’m Shannon Bock!” she said with a big smile as she approached the receptionist. “I’m here for my interview.” With a perplexed look on her face, the receptionist replied, “Oh, honey I think you’re at the wrong place.” Shannon froze for a minute before laughing and apologizing for her mistake. She turned to leave but the receptionist had one more thing. “But we are hiring, too,” she said as she passed Shannon an application. Wrong place, wrong time? Well, maybe wrong time, but definitely not the wrong place.

photos: exposures by j.linnea | josette hayes

more than a job

more than a job Shannon laughs as she recalls the story of unintentionally stumbling into Creative Care for Reaching Independence [CCRI]. “They didn’t come up on my radar at the time,” she says regarding her 1994 job search in the FargoMoorhead area. CCRI, Inc., has a long history of caring for people with disabilities living in our community. This organization was the opportunity Shannon was looking for. While getting her two-year Occupational Therapy degree at NDSCS in Wahpeton, ND, Shannon began working as a caregiver in a group home and later became a supervisor. “I started working there simply because I had to pay for college. I needed money!” she says with a laugh. “I had no intent of staying in the field long term.” But that quickly changed. “I loved the work because I loved the people,” she explains. “When I saw the difference that my team and I could make every day working with our folks, I knew I didn’t want to do anything different. I want to work with people because I can touch a life simply by patting someone on the back or giving someone kind words.” For the last 20 years Shannon’s passion for CCRI’s mission, the people they support, and her team members has grown. She has taken on a number of roles, starting as scheduler, then moving to group home director, and then to operations director, before taking the lead as Executive Director in 2012.

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“I would describe Shannon as dynamic,” says Jody Hudson, CCRI Director of Development and Communications. “She is a master at wearing different hats but somehow they always coordinate and match—busy mom, community volunteer, industry leader, and an advocate for people with disabilities. Shannon makes it look easy.” Easy? Over the last two decades Shannon has earned her social work degree while working full-time, raised three daughters [Kaitlyn, 22, Kiara, 19, and Addi, 8], sent two of those daughters to college, witnessed countless hours of gymnastics, taken time for a date night here and there with her hubby John, has always been available for a friend, and helped create an organization where the average tenure of administrators is an amazing 16 years, and of the over 500 employees, 97% say they are proud to work at CCRI! Oh, and CCRI was recently named one of the top 150 places to work in Minnesota by the Star Tribune. How can accomplishing all that be easy?

on the minds of moms | august • september twenty fifteen

I wanted to know how she gets it all done…what can we all learn from this leader? leading: be an example Ask 8-year-old Addi what her mom does and she’ll tell you, “She’s the boss mom.” Everyone says her mom is the boss, so “boss mom” it is. Like all children, Addi is watching and learning. At a recent CCRI event, Shannon watched her pint-sized mini-me make her way through the sea of people, stopping at each table to chitchat. Some people she already knew, others she

“two of the major items i have learned from my mom are the concepts of dedication and passion,” kaitlyn says.

didn’t. “After she was done, I asked why she was doing that,” Shannon recalls with a smile. “And she said, ‘Well, I’m going to be you someday so I’ve got to talk to people because that’s what you do!’” Shannon pressed her for more details. “Her vision of what the boss does is talk to people to find out what they’re doing and how to make them happy.”

more than a job Yup, they are always watching, and Shannon can relate. Shannon’s oldest daughter, Kaitlyn, who is currently She got her first lessons in leadership in Carrington, ND, completing her master’s degree in Criminology at Bond on the corner of Main Street and Highway 281 working University in Australia, was a toddler as her mom beside her dad as his cashier in the family’s gas station worked full-time at CCRI while completing her degree and convenience store. “I had the opportunity every in Social Work. Shannon recalls Kaitlyn being her helper day to see firsthand how important it was to value when she would rock an infant Kiara, with a textbook your people and make sure they felt appreciated,” she in her lap, bottle propped under her chin, while doing recalls. “I remember thinking as a young kid about her best to highlight key facts in a semi-straight line. how impressed I was with the respect that people had “Two of the major items I have learned from my mom for my dad and knew I wanted to “grow up” to be like are the concepts of dedication and passion,” Kaitlyn him some day.”

says. “She has always been dedicated to the people CCRI serves and has taught me to work hard and if I dedicate myself to something I can do anything I want in life.” Daughter Kiara, a soon-to-be University of North Dakota sophomore, agrees with her sister, “The saying ‘do it with passion or don't do it at all’ is how my mom goes about everything in life.” august • september twenty fifteen | on the minds of moms

www.onthemindsofmoms.com

Talking to those who work with Shannon every day, it’s apparent she is filling her dad’s shoes. “She leads by example…walking her talk as a selfless service leader!” says Sue Lopez, CCRI’s Supported Living Services Director. “She ensures EVERYONE knows they count, their contributions matter, and they are important.”

www.onthemindsofmoms.com

more than a job

on the minds of moms | august • september twenty fifteen

from the moreinside than aout job Maybe the biggest sign of the positive impact Shannon’s hear it. “I view our team members as our number one work has on her children is the fact that both Kaitlyn customer, not our clients,” she says matter-of-factly. and Kiara have worked as caregivers at CCRI. “You “If our employees aren’t satisfied and loving their jobs know your mom is doing something amazing at work every single day when they come to work, what type when both of her daughters apply to the company!” of care are they going to provide? If they walk through Kaitlyn confirms. that door carrying a bunch of baggage, ‘oh I don’t want to be here, I don’t want to do this,’ they’re not going to We all need to ask ourselves…who’s watching me? provide the top-notch care that the people we serve deserve. As long as our employees are satisfied, happy, leading: it’s not about you and feel they’re in a good place with their jobs, then Supervising can be hard. Especially when challenging by virtue of that, our clients get the best care possible.” issues such as an employee’s work performance is in question. Shannon quickly found the key to supervising. “As long as I focused on the fact that it wasn’t necessarily about the person I was supervising but about the work that they were doing for the people they were with, I could address the tough situations,” she explains. “I had to think about each situation in the best interest of the people we were supporting. If I always kept that in mind on the supervising piece of it, it was easy.” At CCRI, Shannon keeps in mind the over 400 individuals they are privileged to provide services to in Clay County. “We work with truly the State’s most vulnerable citizens,” she says. CCRI supports people with Down syndrome, seizure disorders, autism, mental illness, cognitive disorders, and physical disabilities. “Our services are as unique as the people we support.” Shannon adds.

For Jody, Shannon’s ability to value the contributions of her entire team and recognize the potential of new ideas is what makes her a great leader. “She understands the importance of maintaining a highly competent and confident team and makes it a priority to be a part of our on-board training process that sets the tone for introducing new employees into a culture of caring,” Jody says. “Shannon leads them through an impactful teambuilding experience in which new team members can feel comfortable approaching our top leader in the future. By getting to know each new team member they are made to feel part of the CCRI family.” Another amazing quality Shannon has? “She’s crazy good with faces and names—I think she could greet most if not all of our 500-plus staff by name!” Jody says. And Shannon acknowledges that’s a fact. Positive relationships and an open door policy are things she strives for with all of her employees. She also empowers them to take ownership in their positions and engrains the three core principles for employees of CCRI: professionalism, person centeredness, and teamwork. These principles help employees throughout any given day, but also when they encounter a difficult decision.

in achieving that surprises many when they first august • september twenty fifteen | on the minds of moms

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CCRI caregivers provide services ranging from 24-hour care to help with daily living tasks such as budgeting, grocery shopping, assistance with medical appointments, and a multitude of other things tailored to the person’s interest, gifts, and abilities. CCRI also sponsors a number of group events such as Camp HERO, Superhero 5k [happening September 10th], the Polar Plunge for Giving Hearts Day, and Shannon’s personal favorite, “Our employees have to work independently a lot of the CCRI prom. the time and, while they receive the greatest training “It’s so awesome to see the couples’ big smiles, but it’s available, they work with people…and when you work even better to watch their families who never got to with people you cannot plan for absolutely everything see their son or daughter truly participate in prom the that’s going to happen,” Shannon explains. “Say someone’s way that they should have,” Shannon says. “To watch having a challenge in the community or what not, if the big smiles and tears running down their faces is we always think of person centeredness, is it in the so touching. Having the opportunity to do that for the best interest of the person; teamwork, is it what they families is a super cool thing.” would want for their team or the circle of people that support them; and from the professionalism standpoint, The people at CCRI are what keep Shannon going are they representing themselves best, their company and continue to stoke the fire of her passion. Helping best, their client best? It all weaves together.” them live their best lives is the priority, but her focus

more than a job Watching her mom work at CCRI has taught Kiara that “it is very important to put others first,” she says. “Helping others before you help yourself is something that not only makes you feel good, but it is rewarding as well.”

orientation. “I give them a little bit of my background and they’re always astounded that I’ve been here 20 years,” she says with a laugh. “I talk about the importance of their jobs and the impact that they can make.”

Shannon agrees. “Yes, our team members provide so much for the people we support, but we learn and gain from each of them as well—probably more than we ever teach them!” And for Shannon that is evident when people stop in to visit with her. “I know so many just because I’ve been here for a long time, but when they come in and tell me, “I got a new job and I’m so excited about it,” or “Do you like my haircut?,” or they come in and ask about my dog because they know I have a dog, it means so much to me. Seeing what they

Then Shannon asks each of the caregivers to create a CD cover that represents their personal goals, visions, dreams, everything they want in life; things that are important to them. As a group they share their creations.

i learned a lesson from my older kids when they were young. i gave too much to work and not enough to my kids

have the opportunity to do every day because of the support we provide is so rewarding.

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We have to ask ourselves…whom am I helping before myself? leading: you have to dream Tenacity. Always follow your dreams. If you believe it, you can achieve it. Shannon works to instill those qualities in her girls and they are a big part of her leadership style. “I’m not an ‘in-your-face’ type of a supervisor and I don’t like to leave things to chance,” she says. “I like to set the vision and help my employees set the goals for their departments.” Dreaming and goal setting is a big part of the culture at CCRI and that is made apparent right away at employee 54

on the minds of moms | august • september twenty fifteen

“Then I relate back to them that just as they all have different goals, visions, dreams, so do the people we support and each of our team members has the opportunity to make a difference. They are the folks either encouraging a person to dream or squashing it. Then I give them an overview of a few things that our team members have done to make that difference.” Stories like Mitchell, who at the age of 23 was in a terrible car accident that left him a quadriplegic. Much of Mitchell’s identity had been entwined in his physical abilities. He had been an athlete, an outdoorsman, a mechanic, a carpenter. For the past 8 ½ years at CCRI he has found new ways to gain back his independence and discover the potential lying below the surface of mobility. Mitchell graduated summa cum laude from NDSU, continues to hunt, and is currently an intern at CCRI. “Mitchell inspires me every single day!” Shannon says with a smile. Marilyn McMurray has known Shannon since high school and also had the opportunity to work at CCRI. “I always respected Shannon as a friend but having the opportunity to watch Shannon in a leadership role strengthened our friendship and also my respect for her as a leader,” Marilyn says. “When I think of Shannon, a Steve Jobs’ quote comes to mind: “Surround yourself with people who are crazy enough to change the world.” Shannon is changing the world and she is putting Moorhead and CCRI on the map.” We all have to ask ourselves…whose dreams am I building? leading: pick your priorities Like any mom, Shannon has had worries about balancing work and family. “Do I have regrets? My regret is not taking enough time for my older two kids when they were young; being so invested in work and not being invested in them,” she shares. “Did they have a bad life? No! They had a great life, but from a mom perspective I definitely missed things I wish I had been a part of, like when Kiara was playing soccer and she made her

more than a job

more than a job first goal. Was I there for that? No, I wasn’t there for that moment.” But Kaitlyn is quick to squash any mom guilt Shannon feels. “One of the major things I will always remember from my childhood is how supportive my mom was when it came to my extracurricular activities,” she says. “It didn’t matter if it was dance, gymnastics, or piano competitions, she always made sure she was there to support me and tell me how great I did. I can only think of a handful of competitions my mom missed out on in the 12 years I pursued those activities.” The 11-year difference in age between Kiara and Addi provided Shannon with perspective. “I learned a lesson from my older kids when they were young. I gave too much to work and not enough to my kids,” she confesses. “As I was climbing the ladder at work I’d think, “I have to do this or that because this will be good for me,” I didn’t do some things with my kids that I truly should have because I thought it was more important for me to be at work.” But that has changed. Shannon says it’s about prioritizing and knowing what is important. A typical day includes getting up early to take care of things around the house. Then she gets Addi up, off to school, and heads into work. Mid-afternoon she heads home to meet Addi getting off the bus and then gets her to her extra-curricular activities, and then Shannon heads back into the office until Addi’s practice is over.

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“I make it work in my work life,” Shannon says about prioritizing her family. “It’s finding that focus and finding what’s important. I watched so many parents, moms in particular, who feel like they have to work so much harder to be successful in their careers and to do that they have to sacrifice their families. But you don’t have to sacrifice. You can have it all.” How? Having a conscious awareness of finding your balance and asking for help when you need it. “I was never a person who liked to ask for help and after I realized that, you know what, I can’t do this all on my own, I have to ask for help, that’s why it all works out for me. Because sometimes, like my kids with gymnastics, they might have to go with another family for the front end of it and I’ll fly in later and be there for the competition and then come home after that. I have co-workers who would do absolutely anything for me. If I have to be gone for something for my family, they can step in

on the minds of moms | august • september twenty fifteen

at a moment’s notice and take care of everything. I’ve made sure to set up our work environment so if any one of us, not just me, needs to be gone for something, we can do that.”

i watched so many parents, moms in particular, who feel like they have to work so much harder to be successful in their careers and to do that they have to sacrifice their families. but you don’t have to sacrifice. you can have it all.

Another key for Shannon…taking care of Shannon. “I make sure and step back and think, not about the kids or the husband, but what do I need to be the best me possible, because if I’m not the best me then no one else around me can be their best either,” she says. We all live and learn and Shannon is always willing to lend her experience to others. “When I have an employee expecting a baby I like to sit down with him or her and ask, ‘What does life look like for you with work and your kids?’ Prioritizing work and family was one of the hardest lessons for me to learn. If I can spare other parents the guilt of feeling they weren’t a part of their kids’ lives like they should be, I’ll do it.” Andrea Ryan is the Human Resource Director at CCRI and has been able to use Shannon’s parenting experience to her advantage. “I often ask her for parenting advice, especially when it comes to navigating the school system, which was new for me this year,” Andrea shares. “She has also helped me to realize that it is okay, and

more than a job important, to step away from work and focus on home more if I need to.”

breaking ground on this beautiful 20,000 square-foot building that feels more like a home than office space.

We have to ask ourselves…are my priorities in order?

The building is a testament to CCRI’s core principles: person centered, professionalism, and teamwork. And Shannon lives those principles. As moms, we worry we aren’t doing it all right. Shannon worries too, but does she have to?

leading: you can, too Before we started our interview, I received a tour of the CCRI building. To say Shannon is proud of the building that was completed in May 2014 is an understatement. The things she is most proud of? “My mom is a prime example of the saying ‘hard work pays off,’” says Kiara. “She has worked so unbelievably #1—The artwork, which includes portraits of employees hard at not only work but at life to become the amazing and the people they support enjoying various events woman she is. She is such a well-rounded and beautiful and time together as well as amazing abstract art person…I am proud of her.” pieces created by a person they support. Everywhere you look is a beautiful tribute to the people of CCRI. “Shannon has worked very hard to accomplish her goals,” her mom, Jean Eggers confirms. And most importantly? #2—The capability they have to impact the community “She’s a terrific mother and wife!” by offering other non-profits and organizations meeting space to utilize as well as provide events for clients Kaitlyn agrees. “I think my mom is an excellent example and the community alike. The perfect opportunity to of an individual who is successfully running a great increase their impact and circle of influence. organization, but has also achieved the traits of being a fantastic mom. I am extremely proud to call her my mom.” #3—The opportunity for her team to have the space they deserve after reaching their financial goal and Any questions?

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ready, set, grow

story by | patricia carlson

t some point all parents dream their kiddo is the next Beyonce, Mozart, Johnny Cash, or Mick Jagger [or insert whatever super-famous musician you adore]. Chances are slim that’s actually gonna happen, but music may make your child smarter, kinder, better disciplined, and simply more fun to be around. Who doesn’t gravitate toward the gal playing guitar around the campfire or wish they were the go-to pop-culture music geek among their friends? The benefits of being exposed to music, exploring it together, and heck, even playing an instrument [or two or three] are too numerous to mention here, but there are some key things you can do to help develop your child’s budding musical tastes, abilities, and/or appreciation.

getting in tune together why music is good for all ofÂ you

ready, set, grow

the local library is a great resource to hear new music and learn about musicians. not only can you check out different kinds of music, you can also find a book about the composer or singer/songwriter.

wee ones [0–18 months]

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id you ever find yourself wailing it out with Janis Joplin or busting a rhyme to Whiz Kalifa during pregnancy? That’s a good thing, according to experts. Hearing is your baby’s first sense to be fully developed in utero, at 20 weeks. Hearing you sing along to your musical idols actually helps wire your baby’s brain for language and future sound engagement. Don’t worry about singing off-key, either. Your baby isn’t preparing to be the next Simon Cowell, but is instead concentrating on hearing language cues, patterns, and sounds, all things that help form his/her cognitive potential.

get moving Babies of any age love music; they especially love it when mom or dad moves and grooves with them. Baby music classes like those offered by Kindermusik are great ways to combine these things. From hearing, touching, and playing ‘instruments,’ to being encouraged to ‘sing’ and dance along, baby music classes help kick-start your peanut’s mental, physical, and musical development. At home, nursery rhymes are a great way to introduce movement and music to your little bundle of joy. The next time you sing “Itsy Bitsy Spider” to him, make sure to incorporate the hand movements. Or be sure to bounce your baby to the beat as you jam to Taylor Swift while cooking dinner. Your wee one will be experiencing rhythm and dance without even realizing it!

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pandora and spotify offer free music for your smartphone, tablet, or computer. they can be accessed virtually anywhere and have a huge variety of musical styles.

tots

[18 months–3 years]

hhh, the power of music. If you haven’t already discovered, music can make routine tasks like teeth brushing and picking up toys so much more enjoyable—for everyone. These little earworms may seem simple—a basic tune and clean rhyme—but they serve a major purpose. They make chores feel fun while simultaneously building your child’s music development. In some cases, ‘task’ songs may be the first full set of lyrics your child learns and remembers. What an achievement! barney and friends The most ubiquitous of these ‘task’ songs comes courtesy of that friendly purple dinosaur, Barney. Here’s a sampling: Clean up, clean up, everybody, everywhere Clean up, clean up, everybody do your share This one is great for brushing teeth [to the tune of ‘Row, Row, Row Your Boat’]:

You can even turn something that children at these ages find aggravating, like sharing, into a song. Sing these lyrics to the tune of ‘Are You Sleeping:’ Are you sharing, Are you sharing, Little ones, Little ones?

These song ideas come courtesy of a website called preschooleducation.com, but there are a ton of other ‘task’ songs available online if you do some simple research. One smart solution to incorporate these songs into your child’s daily activities is to print them out and attach them to the bathroom mirror [for teeth time] or playroom wall [for cleaning up] so that you incorporate letter recognition and, eventually, reading into your child’s musical development.

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august • september twenty fifteen | on the minds of moms

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Brush, brush, brush your teeth Gently round your gums. Merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily, Brushing is such fun!!

Sharing is caring, Caring is sharing, Be a friend! Be a friend!

ready, set, grow

no need to buy new. there are plenty of options like craigslist or local buy/trade/sell sites for finding secondhand instruments.

preschoolers [3–5 years]

usic should be a buffet for the ears and now is the time to dig in. Your kiddo will soak up any kind of music—from live performances to scratchy old albums, from arias to mariachi—like a sponge. Take advantage of free or cheap live performances: fairs and festivals, and local universities and high schools, often have decent performances. Watch concerts on television; PBS has a beautiful array of performances by groups like the classically trained vocalists of Celtic Woman, or you can borrow some concert DVDs from the library. Visit a musical instrument store so the kids can see, hear, and in some cases touch, instruments up close. You can also check out a music school to see budding artists in action.

learning to play All of this exposure may leave your tot wanting more. Don’t be surprised if he or she asks for lessons, but keep your expectations at a minimum. Most three year olds won’t be able to learn an instrument, but lessons can help them identify a beat, melody, or instrument. By the time your mini-Mozart is five, though, music educators say he or she should have a strong enough foundation to handle formalized music lessons. Piano and violin are the two most common debut instruments. Getting them to practice may be a drag, so don’t push it. Talk with the instructor about what he/she feels is best and work together to develop a plan to continually engage and challenge your child without setting him/ her up for failure.

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on the minds of moms | august • september twenty fifteen

prokofiev's "peter and the wolf" is a great way to learn to

ready, set, grow

identify instruments.

big kids [6–9 years]

our grade schooler is developing a strong sense of self, musically speaking, and whatever control you may have had over his or her tastes may be challenged. She may have traded in The Wiggles for Kelly Clarkson [not that that’s a bad thing], but don’t give up. One way to stretch your kid’s comfort zone is to grow yours. So, if you’re typically a metal head, give country music a try. Or if you love Motown, swap in some current R&B. We’re not saying you have to love it, but if you want your kid to expand his musical horizons [so you’re not stuck listening to Ariana Grande] then you better walk the walk. weave in classical Classical music is helpful in so many ways. It’s believed to have a positive impact on cognitive ability, mood, and overall health. Recent studies show that it helps lessen pain in children. Some experts say classical melodies improve sleep patterns, reduce stress, and make it easier to learn new information. In other words, it’s great background noise for homework.

Elementary school is the beginning of the foundation for developing positive study habits. Why not give your kiddo a leg up and play some classical music during nightly study time? Believe it or not, classical music is also very mathematical, incorporating 1/4 notes, 1/8 notes, 1/2 notes, whole notes, double rhythms, and triple rhythms. These notes and combinations all help create strong neuro-pathways through musical patterns that later add up to higher math skills. Even if your kiddo already shows an appreciation for music or talent for playing instruments, classical music may challenge her in different ways. Listen to a concert together and see if your big kid can identify the instruments being played. Compare how two different conductors lead the same piece of music. If anything, learning to play a classical piece of music will be tough enough. Classical is notoriously difficult to master and takes lots of time practicing. The discipline and time investment your child needs will certainly be an eye opener in our world of instant gratification.

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ready, set, grow

if your kiddo has expressed interest in trying a bigger instrument, now may be the time. he or she should be strong enough to handle a brass piece or a larger string instrument and have the stamina to match.

tweeners [10–12 years]

o you’ve invested almost a decade of time, money, cheerleading, and patience into encouraging your son to play the drums. Now he comes home from school one day and says he wants to quit. What do you do?

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First, realize you are not the only parent of a tweener who has faced this soul-crushing dilemma. It’s disappointing, frustrating, and maddening, for sure, but it is not hopeless. Next, have a talk with yourself, your partner [if you have one], and your son. Ask questions. LISTEN to the responses. Avoid discussing the matter with people outside your immediate home who will give you all sorts of ‘parenting’ advice. Stay true to you. Last, respect your decision. You are still the parent. You are still in charge. You are still the one who can see further into the future than your kid, and who knows a thing or two about regret. Even if your tween flies into a rage, respect yourself and your decision.

on the minds of moms | august • september twenty fifteen

options But know that you have options, and simply saying ‘yay’ or ‘nay’ to his request is not your only comeback. Here’s a few things to consider: • Create the right environment at home. Allow your child to play the kind of music that inspires her [even if you don’t like it]. Surround her with different versions of the song that she may be learning [did you know that The Ramones, Ella Fitzgerald, Israel Kamakawiwo’ole, and Eva Cassidy all performed ‘Over the Rainbow,’ the iconic song sang by Judy Garland in “The Wizard of Oz?”]. And ensure she feels comfortable practicing and isn’t teased about making mistakes. • Change the routine. Maybe it means challenging your son’s teacher to come up with something new to inspire your son to keep practicing. Maybe it means giving in and taking him to a concert in the city. Or taking him to watch another kid his age rock out on the same piece. Whatever you do to change the routine, you want to inspire your kid not to give up. • Don’t negotiate on practice. From greatschools.org: “Robert Cutietta, author of Raising Musical Kids and professor of music education at the University of Southern California, suggests having a set time for practice each day to avoid arguing with your child, who might say, ‘“I don’t feel like it now; I’ll do it later.’ If your child knows that at 4 p.m. everyday he is supposed to practice, there will be less need to nag. ‘It’s also OK to acknowledge that practice is not always a lot of fun,’ says Cutietta. ‘Music is not all fun. It’s hard work and there’s nothing wrong with that.’”

don’t be afraid to dig out your ‘classics.’ even though teens may pretend to shun your musical tastes, this is often the age they discover iconic bands like the beatles, the temptations,

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run dmc, and nirvana.

teens [13–18years]

f you haven’t already been having a blast blaring tunes, now is the time. Crank up the tunes while you’re doing dishes. Have an impromptu dance party during breakfast. The trick is to take turns sharing your music. While it’s a lot of fun, it’s also an important history lesson.

Patricia Carlson is a freelance writer who specializes in developing

Music is a journey of storytelling and poetry. Bob Dylan? It captures a moment in time. Elvis? Or a moment in society where someone felt the need to speak out. Tupac? It can teach us about love. Ed Sheeran? It can open your eyes to teenage struggles. Nirvana? Is simply fun. Glen Miller Band?

moms, and Lake and Home Magazine. When she’s not interviewing

As long as there have been humans, there has been music. That is one thing that—no matter how strained your relationship with your teen may get—you have in common. And if things get dicey for some reason, just change the song.

and writing strategic website content and email marketing materials for businesses across the country. Patricia’s roster of clients includes a diverse group of organizations from banks to fitness facilities; Redstone Federal Credit Union, Active Screening, i1Biometrics, Buzz360, and Fit Revolution, to name a few. Her editorial work appears in publications nationwide, including Minnesota Parent, FOP Journal, on the minds of sources, Patricia is enjoying breakfasts on the beach with her two young children. Keep track of her work at www.patriciacarlsonfreelance.com.

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