august– september
twenty nineteen
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contents
in every issue
food for thought . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 14 event calendar . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 16 shutterbug
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contents
sections gettin’ through it budgeting for your family’s future: create an accurate budget that works for you . . . . . . . . 22
resources connect, find help, get answers, make a difference . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 30
ready, set, grow ol' school remedies . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 42
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contents
contents
feature & profiles
mod mom hope floberg . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 10
rad dad jean paul mansour . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 26
cover story lynn kotrba hope over fear . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 32
photo: ten little chickens photography | renee clasen
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moms
on the minds of
www.onthemindsofmoms.com
PUBLISHER DS Communication, LLC EDITORS Sheri Kleinsasser Stockmoe p: 701.306.1624 e: sheri@onthemindsofmoms.com Dani Parkos Fluge e: dani@onthemindsofmoms.com
ADVERTISING Patty Nystrom p: 701.269.4180 e: patty@onthemindsofmoms.com Sheri Kleinsasser Stockmoe p: 701.306.1624 e: sheri@onthemindsofmoms.com
PHOTOGRAPHY Renee Clasen – ten little chickens photography Josette Hayes–exposures by j.linnea Scott Thuen-thuen studios DESIGN AND LAYOUT
Scott Thuen – thuen studios www.thuenstudios.com
AD DESIGN Casie Beldo Scott Thuen Tara Kessler Stephanie Drietz CONTACT mail: PO Box 190, Fargo, ND 58107 e: hello@onthemindsofmoms.com p: 701.297.2138 SUBSCRIPTION print www.onthemindsofmoms.com/subscribe digital issuu.com/onthemindsofmoms
COVER PHOTO BY Renee Clasen – ten little chickens photography
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OTMOM MISSION STATEMENT On The Minds Of Moms Magazine is dedicated to providing parents of all ages a bimonthly resource they can trust. A fresh approach to traditional parenting publications, we are modern and inspiring while offering a community of local support and real-life advice for today’s family. On The Minds Of Moms contains views from across the parenting spectrum. These views do not necessarily reflect those of the publisher. All activities listed in these pages are at your own risk and require appropriate supervision. OTMOM is a publication available at all Fargo-Moorhead Hornbacher's, Family Fare, and Grand Forks–East Grand Forks Hornbacher's and Hugo's grocery store locations. Distribution also includes all partnering advertisers. Copyright 2019 All Rights Reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced without written permission from the publisher. On The Minds Of Moms is a trademark registered at the U.S. Patent and Trademark Office.
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019038-00539 6/19
H
ope Floberg was born and raised in Fargo. While a freshman at Fargo North, she met Chris who was a year older. On a ride home with a mutual friend, neither spoke a word to each other. Luckily, Chris had the good sense to call
her later that night. Twenty-seven years later, 19 years of marriage and 4 beautiful kids, Hailey (15), Brooklyn (12), Ellie (9), and Easton (2), are evidence enough that phone call was worth it! The current VP, IT Marketing and Training at NAU Country Insurance Company, Hope thrives on growing teams and mentoring new employees and learning from their experience, but most importantly, she’s proud to show her children that with a good education, lots of hard work, and drive, you can do anything.
photos: exposures by j.linnea | josette hayes
hope floberg age 41, moorhead.mn
i spend “me time” by doing… lists! I know, it sounds like a task, but if I can sit quietly without interruption and create a list for schedules for the week, chores to be done, grocery items to be picked up, or even a TO DO, I am happy. I love planning and I love lists.
from a young age i knew…
They are both married and each has three additional children of their own. It has been a whirlwind of emotion, adapting, and being appreciative for the family that I never knew and now have the opportunity to share my life with. Was it easy to be open to all these changes? No. But seriously, how lucky can one person be to grow up an only child and end up with 10+ sisters and brothers as an adult. Try to explain that to your young children.
the kid snack i am most likely to eat… fruit snacks. I love them! I love them!
growing up, i… was determined to be famous. I was going to work in television and theatre—that was my dream. After high school, I studied at NDSU and MSUM, and received a double major in Mass and Speech Communications with an emphasis on Film and Television production. When I was done with school, I was off to New York to fulfill my dream of working at MTV. Let me tell you how fabulous that was! I was a Production Assistant and got to work with some of the top music stars at the age of 22. It was amazing! However, leaving behind my mom, Chris, and friends and family made me want to come back home and find something closer.
five things on my bathroom counter right now… toothbrush, Clinique face lotion [the yellow stuff], deodorant, tweezers [we cannot all be flawless], and lipstick.
if i could change anything from my wedding day it would be… to take more time and cherish the individuals that were there celebrating the day with us. I remember being so caught up in the moment with Chris and our friends and dancing and everything that goes along with the day, that I feel like I overlooked spending more time with my Grandparents, or my parents, or august • september twenty nineteen | on the minds of moms
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www.onthemindsofmoms.com
Unfortunately, my birth mom was not able to care for me and put me up for adoption. I was adopted on August 18th, 1977 by a wonderful family, Mike and Connie Hulne, that was unable to have children of their own. By the time I was two, my parents had divorced, and I was raised solely by my mom. I was always aware that I was adopted and always aware that God specifically picked my new family for me for a very important reason. My mom was obviously a single parent and worked upwards of three jobs at a time to care for our small family. She did not have a lot of time to be home with me, but when she was home, she made the most of our time. She was an inspiration to me. She grew up in foster care and never had a mother or father that cared for her. Her education was cut short at a young age because of her living situation and bouncing between foster home to foster home, which is why she could never get that high paying job. All she wanted in her life was to have a family of her own, one that she could truly love and dedicate her time to and then she was dealt with the blow of not being able to have children. That is why I know I was meant to be hers, we were meant for each other. I admired her, and I was so thankful that I was blessed to be her daughter. Although I grew up an only child, my mom did foster care for teenage girls when I was older and I have been so lucky to have some of these beautiful girls become part of our family, one, in particular, has been with our family for over 10 years and is truly a sister to me. Not to mention, as I got older, I had the opportunity to meet both of my birth parents, who are amazing individuals.
mod mom
mod mom my family that traveled to be there. A few years after our wedding day, our best man passed away, although he was front and center that day, I would do anything to go back to that day and just hug him.
long watching volleyball, basketball, or sometimes I even get outside and watch softball. I love being with my kids and watching them excel in things they are passionate about. Plus, I love my mom friends!
something i admire, but would never do…
the most fulfilling part of my job…
I admire all risk takers. I admire the people that will skydive, or bungee jump, or deep-sea dive! Not for me! I am an overthinker!
I am passionate about how our company truly makes a difference in the lives of farmers, but on a day to day basis, I love to lead. I love watching my team members thrive and grow. It is empowering!
my mom taught me… By watching my mom’s struggles, I learned the importance of education and being a strong woman, and I knew that I wanted to be successful in my life and career. I also knew that there were no boundaries to love and that I wanted to be a mother that had time to be present at my children’s activities, be present in their day to day lives, and be involved in activities that better my community [PTAC, Volleyball Board Member, Yearbook Designer, lots of volunteering.
the best advice i can give my kids is… you are in control of your attitude and your feelings. You can make the best of a situation by having the right mindset. Do not let anyone take that control away from you. It is powerful!
my ideal day would be spent…
www.onthemindsofmoms.com
scrapbooking with my girlfriends [however that never happens], on a beach with my girlfriends [dreaming], who am I kidding? I love to be in a school gym ALL day
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on the minds of moms | august • september twenty nineteen
three words my kiddos would use to best describe me… loving, over-protective, and nosey! [I am always full of questions]
the parenting trick i have learned from my husband is… choose your battles.
the habit i hope my kids don’t inherit from me… always having to have the last word.
i love a good… laugh. There is nothing better than a true belly laugh!
one thing i vowed i’d never do when i had kids that i find myself doing… constantly boring them with stories of “when I was younger...” However, now I cherish those stories from my mom!
...but
I Love paying Full Price!
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food for thought
photo: thuen studios  | scott thuen
cowboy caviar shared by | otmom
B
eat the heat with this easy and versatile summer recipe. Cowboy caviar is a fresh, healthy and delicious option for potlucks, picnics, or pool parties. And don’t be afraid to experiment by substitute ingredients to your liking. Serve it as a dip with pita chips, garish chicken tacos or mix it into a green salad for a meal. what you need: [salsa] • 1 small red onion • 4 bell peppers [orange, yellow, red, green] • 3 Roma tomatoes • ½ cup cilantro • 1 can black beans • 1 can black eyed peas • 1 can corn [marinade] • ½ cup oil [canola, olive or vegetable] • 1 cup apple cider vinegar • ½ cup sugar
how to make it: 1. Dice fresh vegetables and combine with all remaining salsa ingredients in a large bowl. 2. Combine marinade ingredients on the stove and heat until sugar dissolves. Let cool completely. 3. Once marinade is completely cooled, pour over salsa. 4. Let salsa marinade overnight and drain the next day.
5, 8, 12, 15, 19, 22, 26 & 29
august events
Farmers' Market & Beyond 701.433.5360 www.wfparks.org Fresh produce, berries, herbs, meats, jellies, flowers, hand-crafted items & agriculture products will be available for purchase 3:30pm-6:30pm at the South Elmwood Park parking lot [501 13th Av W, West Fargo].
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Parent’s Day Out www.familywellnessfargo.org
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German Folk Festival www.fargoparks.com Spend the day celebrating all things German at Rheault Farm [ 290225th St S, Fargo]. Enjoy food, demonstrations, entertainment, and more from noon-5pm.
4
Children’s Day & Hawkeye’s Birthday www.fmredhawks.com
6
Kid’s Healthy Cooking: Fruit Rainbows with a Pot of Gold www.familywellnessfargo.org Come to Family Wellness [2960 Seter Parkway, Fargo], 6:30pm-7:30pm, and experience a festive array of fruit is ideal to help kids learn more about colors, shapes, and basic cutting skills. Join us and strike your own “Pot of Gold”. Ages 5+; $12 Members/$20 Nonmembers.
www.onthemindsofmoms.com
Come out to Newman Outdoor Field [1515 15th Av N, Fargo]to cheer on the FM RedHawks as they take on the Chicago Dogs and celebrate Children’s Day and Hawkeye’s Birthday sponsored by Sanford Children’s! Inflatables in the playground sponsored by Games Galore. 1pm start.
Need to get stuff done? Drop off your kids in the Family Wellness childcare [2960 Seter Parkway, Fargo] from 10:30am-1:30pm for some time to get stuff done without your little helpers. Ages 2 weeks – 9 years old. Please bring nut-free snacks, diapers, or any other care necessities needed. Sign up by noon on Monday prior to the event. $12 Members/ $18 Nonmembers.
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on the minds of moms | august • september twenty nineteen
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Night to Unite www.wfparks.org West Fargo Police Department is hosting the annual Night to Unite at North Elmwood Park [500 13th Ave W, West Fargo], 5pm-9pm. Come and celebrate our community and check out Police & Fire Demonstrations, FM Ambulance, Roll-Over Simulator Demo, TaeKwonDo Demonstrations, Police K-9 Demonstration [Officer Orr and ToSti], helicopter tours, free ice cream floats and cotton candy, dance performances, meet local mascots and more! Food vendors will be on site.
6 & 13
G.O.T. Gather on Tuesday www.fargoparks.com Celebrate summer at a different park each Tuesday night for an evening of family fun. The fun starts at 5:30pm. Enjoy the movie Mary Poppins Returns at Island Park [302 7th St S, Fargo] on the 6th and the music of Kicks Band of Fargo Moorhead Trollwood Park [3664 Elm St N, Fargo] on the 13th.
6, 13, 15, 20, 22, 27 & 29 Car Seat Check www.sanfordhealth.org/ classes-and-events
Statistically, four out of five car seats are installed incorrectly. Is yours installed correctly? Don’t chance it! Head to The Safety Shoppe [601 39th St N, Fargo] where trained technicians will be available Tuesdays 10:24am-7:15pm and Thursday 1:15pm-5pm to teach parents, grandparents, and caregivers how to use and install their car seats correctly. You may bring your child with you if desired and the seat can be fitted to your child properly. The events are free and open to the public. Space is limited and appointments are required.
7
Kids’ Flicks @ Fargo Theatre www.fargotheatre.org Head to the Fargo Theatre {314 Broadway, Fargo] for a showing of UglyDolls at 10am & 1pm. $3 seats and a $2 soda & popcorn.
7 & 15
12
20
This class at Family Wellness [2960 Seter Parkway, Fargo], 6:30pm-8:30pm, is designed to help caregivers and parents connect and grow with their children. During this class you learn: Bonding with your child, normal toddler behaviors and challenges, and tantrums. Free and open to the community. Register online.
This class at Family Wellness [2960 Seter Parkway, Fargo], 6:30pm-8:30pm, is designed to help caregivers and parents connect and grow with their children. During this class you learn: What babies need from dads, new dad emotions, healthy relationships, and the importance of selfcare. Free and open to the community. Register online.
Looking for something fun to do before school starts? Head to Courts Plus [3491 S University Dr, Fargo] 5:30pm-7pm for this FREE carnival! Enjoy carnival games, inflatables, arts & crafts, water games & more! This is for children of all ages and open to the Public.
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Toddler Series: Positive Parenting www.familywellnessfargo.org
Park It! www.fargoparks.com
Parenting Series: Fatherhood www.familywellnessfargo.org
Bark in the Park www.wfparks.org
Playground Carnival www.courtsplus.org
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Infant Series: Emotionally Healthy Children www.familywellnessfargo.org
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Meet the Park It! staff at Centennial Park [4101 25th St S, Fargo] and create take-home arts and crafts, 1pm-4pm. The fun travels weekly to different neighborhoods. All supplies provided and different projects each week. Adult supervision is required.
Bring your dog in this fun and family-focused dog show at North Elmwood Park [500 13th Ave W, West Fargo], 5pm-7:30pm.! Awards will be presented to several categories and area pet vendors will be on site to visit with. Free hotdogs and pop available while supplies last.
This class at Family Wellness [2960 Seter Parkway, Fargo], 6:30pm-8:30pm, helps caregivers and parents connect and grow with their children. During this class you learn: Help baby feel loved, comforted and accepted, why feeling loved is so important, and comforting a crying baby. Free and open to the community. Register online.
8 & 18
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24 & 25
Stepping back in time and enjoy 80’s classic E.T. at Heritage Garden and Amphitheater [corner of Woodlawn Park Drive & 6th Av S, Moorhead]. The movie begins at dusk. Popcorn, blankets, and bug spray provided. 1980’s era costumes encouraged! Art activities and popcorn start at 8pm, movie at sundown.
Bring your friends and indulge yourself! Spend a day at Island Park [302 7th St S, Fargo] shopping in the shade! Find unique items, enjoy excellent food, and listen to great music from 10am-5pm.
8 & 25
This class at Family Wellness [2960 Seter Parkway, Fargo], 6:30pm-8:30pm, helps caregivers and parents connect and grow with their children. During this class you learn: Why feeling loved is so important, Mental Health versus Physical Health, emotional needs and coping and learning different emotions. Free and open to the community. Register online.
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Adult Healthy Cooking: Summertime Desserts www.familywellnessfargo.org
BLIC S C
LS
Let’s cool down with some tasty and healthy desserts at Family Wellness [2960 Seter Parkway, Fargo], 6pm-7:30pm! We will be making paleo ice cream and lemon and berry cheesecake bites. For ages 15+. $12 Members/$20 Nonmembers. Register online.
PU
OO
All ages and abilities are welcome to come make their own Lego creation at the Moorhead Public Library [118 5th St S, Moorhead] Lego Club, 6pm-8pm on the 8th & 2pm-4pm on the 25th. Supplies provided to build, but make sure to bring your imagination!
Toddler Series: Emotionally Healthy Children www.familywellnessfargo.org
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Lego Club www.larl.org
Island Park Show www.fargoparks.com
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The Healthy Moms for Healthy Babies series at Sanford Southpointe Clinic [2400 32nd Av S, Fargo] will focus on giving you the tools to develop a healthy lifestyle now and to commit to lifelong changes. Prenatal Yoga is offered 6pm-7pm on the 8th and 4pm-5pm on the 18th.
80’s Movie Series: E.T. www.plainsart.org
FA R G
Healthy Moms for Healthy Babies www.sanfordhealth.org/ classes-and-events
august events
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Babysitting Training www.familywellnessfargo.org
The 2019-20 school year starts on August 22. Parents/guardians of all Fargo Public Schools students need to complete/update their children’s annual registration forms online. Access to these online forms is through the FPS PowerSchool site. For more information, call 701-446-1000 or visit www.fargo.k12.nd.us august • september twenty nineteen | on the minds of moms
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www.onthemindsofmoms.com
This eight-hour American Red Cross Babysitting Course held at Family Wellness [2960 Seter Parkway, Fargo], 8am-5pm, is a hands-on way to learn everything you need to know about babysitting. Start your babysitting business on the right foot and learn how to be a safe, professional, and reliable sitter. Included with the course is American Red Cross First Aid and CPR Certification that is valid for two years. This course will teach you to be safe on the job, how to recognize an emergency, and how to handle it as well. $65 Members/$95 Nonmembers.
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B.L.A.S.T. Babysitting Camp www.sanfordhealthemseducation.org
september events
Babysitting Lessons and Safety Training is the initial course for teens and pre-teens on the responsibilities of caring for children. Held at the F-M Ambulance Service [2215 18th St S, Fargo], 9am-3pm. Participants will learn CPR and first aid for children, as well as diaper-changing techniques. They will also learn when to call 911 and what will happen if they do need emergency assistance. The course is designed for young babysitters ages 11–15. Limited space. Register online.
3, 5, 10, 12, 17, 19, 24 & 26
7
Car Seat Check www.sanfordhealth.org/ classes-and-events
Self-Care for Moms www.sanfordhealth.org/ classes-and-events
Statistically, four out of five car seats are installed incorrectly. Is yours installed correctly? Don’t chance it! Head to The Safety Shoppe [601 39th St N, Fargo] where trained technicians will be available Tuesdays 10:45am-7:15pm and Thursdays 1:15pm-5pm to teach parents, grandparents, and caregivers how to use and install their car seats correctly. You may bring your child with you if desired and the seat can be fitted to your child properly. The events are free and open to the public. Space is limited and appointments are required.
This class at Sanford University [2801 S University Dr, Fargo], 9:30am-11:30am, is designed to help caregivers and parents connect and grow with their children. During this class you learn about the importance of self-care, postpartum emotions, and healthy relationships. Register online.
9
B4 Baby www.sanfordhealth.org/ classes-and-events Nothing is more exciting than thinking about life with a new baby. But along with that joy can come questions about
pregnancy, labor, birth and life with baby. Let Sanford Women’s help you prepare at B4 Baby at Sanford Medical Center [5225 23rd Av S, Fargo], 6:30pm-8pm, a free, open house event offering practical advice in a fun and relaxing environment. You’ll meet with our team of experts ready to help you prepare for pregnancy, parenting and everything in between. You’ll have the opportunity to: learn about nutrition and fitness during pregnancy; receive information about provider options, cost and expenses; speak with a birth designer; tour the Family Birth Center. Come anytime 6:30pm-8pm.
10
Infant Massage [Nurturing Touch] www.sanfordhealth.org/ classes-and-events This class at Family Wellness [2960 Seter Parkway, Fargo], 6pm-7:30pm, teaches caregivers how to massage their infants. Massages can improve circulation, help infants relax, regulate sleep patterns, stimulate digestive system and may relieve colic or gas. It also can improve communication, attachment and bonding between caregiver and infant, and caregivers may feel more confident in understanding their baby's cues. The class provides a hands-on experience for babies and their caregivers. Bring your baby. Register online.
11
Keeping your Baby Safe around Pets www.sanfordhealth.org/ classes-and-events
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on the minds of moms | august • september twenty nineteen
A lot of people’s pets are their first babies. So what do you do now that you’re expecting? Come to Sanford Health [2801 S University Dr, Fargo], 6:30pm-8pm, and learn how to safely introduce your pet to your baby and vice versa. Bringing your new baby home is a very exciting time for families but, this time can potentially be confusing or frightening for your pet. Taking time to prepare yourself and your pet before the baby comes home is an important step for a safe and rewarding child-pet relationship. Register online.
12
Healthy Living as a Single Parent www.sanfordhealth.org/ classes-and-events Every family is unique, with many reasons and situations that result in single parenting, co-parenting or one-parent family dynamics. During this class at Sanford
Health [2801 S University Dr, Fargo], 6:30pm-8:30pm, we discuss how to create and maintain a healthy lifestyle as a single parent including: Self-care; Work and family life; Child-care options; Finances; Co-parenting; Understanding your child's needs; Communication; Relationships; and so much more! Register online.
12 & 28
Lego Club www.larl.org All ages and abilities are welcome to come make your own Lego creation at the Moorhead Public Library [118 5th St S, Moorhead] Lego Club, 6pm-8pm on the 12th and 2pm-4pm on the 28th. Supplies provided to build, but make sure to bring your imagination!
14
Fall Rummage Sale www.wfparks.com Head to Veterans Memorial Arena [1201 7th Av E, West Fargo], 7am-1pm, for some treasure hunting! $1 per person, 17 and under free.
14
Stroll Along the RedFundraiser Walk and Silent Auction www.bdand.org The Bleed Disorders Alliance of North Dakota [BDAND] is very excited to be having their 4th Annual Stroll Along the Red - Fundraiser Walk and Silent Auction on at the Main Shelter in Lindenwood Park [1905 Roger Maris Dr, Fargo], 11am-1:30pm. Enjoy a fun 1-mile walk, music, snacks, silent auction, and other festivities happening before and after the Walk. All proceeds raised by the BDAND Walk will support the mission to enhance the quality of life for everyone within the bleeding disorders community by providing programs and services for education, advocacy, and emotional and financial support. BDAND is a non-profit organization created to bring together individuals and families from North Dakota and Northwest Minnesota who are affected by bleeding disorders. Many bleeding disorders such as hemophilia are rare, affecting only 1 in 7500 male babies. However, the most common bleeding disorder that affects both women and men is von Willebrand Disease and affects up to 1% of the US population. Each bleeding disorder has its own range of severity, as some people have bleeding every day or week, some, every month, and others maybe only with procedures or trauma. Hemophilia, von Willebrand Disease, and other bleeding disorders are life-long conditions and
All event listings displayed within OTMOM are carefully selected to provide diverse options for families. More events found online at www.onthemindsofmoms.com/event-calendar. It is always a good idea to call ahead to confirm the information provided. Although it is not possible to list every event happening in the FM area, we encourage organizations to submit events for consideration to events@onthemindsofmoms.com
currently, there is no cure, and treatment to manage these chronic disorders can be extremely stressful and expensive.
21, 22, 28 & 29
This class is geared towards dads or anyone in that role. Register in the 24th week of pregnancy or beyond.
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Head to Rheault Farm [2902 25th St S, Fargo], 10am-5pm, and celebrate the changing seasons! Bring the whole family to this free event. Free activities include: Our straw bale maze, visiting with our strolling clown, adding your leaf to our Gratitude Tree, and playing our carnival games such as Pumpkin Tic-Tac-Toe, Football Toss, Mini Golf, Plinko, and more! Make sure to stop by our Pumpkin Patch with over 1,000 pumpkins for sale. It's the best place for a family photo op or to pick out the perfect pumpkin to bring home. Purchase an Activity Pass and take part in even more fall festivities such as: Making a fall art project, face painting, decorating a mini pumpkin, making caramel apple slices, and horse-drawn carriage rides.
24
Walk to Fight Suicide www.afsp.org/fargo Join us for the Fargo/Moorhead Out of the Darkness Community Walk, 2pm-4pm at the Scheels Arena [5225 31st Av S, Fargo]. Proceeds benefit local and national suicide prevention and awareness programs of the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention.
15
German Kulturfest www.hcscconline.org Spend the day at Hjemkomst Center [202 1st Av N, Moorhead], 10am-4pm, celebrating German cultural heritage of past immigrants and of contemporary Germany with a combination of old arts and modern performances and demonstrations.
20-22
West Fest www.westfargond.gov Craft fair, family fun, music, food, grand parade and much more in West Fargo!
Fall in Fargo www.fargoparks.com
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New Dad’s Playbook www.sanfordhealth.org/ classes-and-events This class at Sanford University [2801 S University Dr, Fargo], 6:30pm-8:30pm, is for first time Dads. Learn how to properly care for your newborn and what to expect those first few days. Connect with other new Dads and hear from an “experienced” father on what he wishes he had known!
september events
Pregnancy & Infant-Loss Support Group Hospice of the Red River Valley [www. hrrv.org], in partnership with Harlynn’s Heart [www.harlynnsheart.org], offers an ongoing pregnancy and infant loss support group, meeting the fourth Tuesday of each month from 6:30pm-8pm at Hospice of the Red River Valley [1701 38th St S, Fargo]. Please use the west door. This is an ongoing support group for anyone who has experienced the death of a baby through pregnancy loss, stillbirth, or in the first year of life. The purpose of this group is to provide compassionate grief support, understanding, and resources to bereaved parents while allowing them to share their grief in a safe place with others who are experiencing a similar journey. This group is free and open to the public. For more information or questions, call 800.237.4629 and ask for the bereavement department.
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Reel Movies for Real Needs www.marcustheatres.com Sometimes it is difficult or uncomfortable for families with special needs children to attend movies together. West Acres Cinema [4101 17th Av SW, Fargo] offers a welcoming and comfortable environment - lower sound, lights up - where families with children who need accommodations will be able to share the experience of seeing family friendly films at a theatre. Be there at 10:30am to see Abominable.
Guiding Couples to Lasting Love www.onthemindsofmoms.com
august • september twenty nineteen | on the minds of moms
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exposures by j.linnea
shutterbug ten little chickens photography
ten little chickens photography
ten little chickens photography
exposures by j.linnea
exposures by j.linnea
www.onthemindsofmoms.com
gettin’ through it
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on the minds of moms | august • september twenty nineteen
gettin’ through it
budgeting for your family’s future: create an accurate budget that works for you story by | kimberly blaker
S
ixty percent of today's families rate their finances as poor to fair, according to a 2015 report by Pew Research Center. Yet, a 2013 Gallop Poll found only one-third of Americans prepare a budget. It's no wonder, as the Federal Consumer Information Center points out, millions of Americans, especially middle-income families, are in financial distress because of their debts and spending habits.
Without a budget, even some of the savviest parents find raising a family an ongoing financial struggle. When finances are tight, creating and using a budget is important to both preventing financial difficulties and attaining financial security. It can make the difference in being able to save for family vacations, kids' college funds, or retirement.
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calculate monthly expenses Budgeting consists of determining your income and expenses, making necessary adjustments to your cost of living, and following your budget religiously. The first step in creating a budget is to determine your monthly income and expenses. One of the biggest problems, besides failing to follow a budget, is the failure to include all expenses. It's an easy oversight with costs that don't occur on a regular schedule, such as vacations, gifts, auto maintenance, clothing, august • september twenty nineteen | on the minds of moms
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gettin’ through it and extracurricular activities. Bills paid quarterly or annually, such as life and homeowners insurance or property taxes, are often forgotten as well. Another error is the temptation to budget for the best-case scenario with fluctuating bills such as gas and electricity. So be sure to determine the average cost over a 12-month period, or budget for the high side. Finally, little day-to-day expenses are frequently overlooked. Over the course of a month, these add up to a heap of change. This includes allowances, eating out, buying a newspaper, school lunches, pet expenses, entertainment, or stopping for a pop or candy bar. Other overlooked expenses include replacing a toaster, repairing the garbage disposal, and the countless other repairs and replacements over the course of a year. Brainstorm and create categories for all these types of expenses to include in your budget. Now determine your monthly expenditures for bills that fluctuate from month-to-month by adding up the previous year’s bills. Add 5% to account for inflation. Then divide by 12 to get a monthly average. For categories like gifts or clothing, calculate what you spend in a full year. When totaled for the whole family, this is often an eye-opener. Under this category, include back-to-school shopping, outerwear, footwear, underwear and socks, sportswear, summer clothing, work wardrobe,
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and casual wear. Add the total expense for the year. Then divide by 12 for your average monthly expense. determine monthly income Determining your monthly income is simple if you work the same number of hours each week and receive an hourly wage or salary. Just multiply your weekly take-home pay by 4.3 weeks since there are just over 4 weeks in a month. If your income varies because of commissions, overtime, or self-employment, calculate your average weekly pay, then multiply it by 4.3. balance your budget To determine the difference between your monthly income and expenses, add up each column individually. Then subtract total expenses from total income. Hopefully, you're earning more than you're spending. If so, you can create a savings plan for your child’s college fund, make additional deposits to your IRA, or increase your emergency savings. If you have a negative difference, you’ll need to cut costs. Place a check mark next to each item you can't reduce. This might include mortgage or rent and fixed loan payments. Next, from the items that don't have a check mark, determine which are unnecessary, and begin cutting or
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gettin’ through it reducing. Your cable connection might be a good place to start. The vast number of channels offered by cable companies often keep kids glued to the TV. The benefits of not having cable might help justify cutting the cost. Other items you can reduce include dining out, entertainment, vacations, and gifts. You might also be able to reduce some of the essential categories such as clothing, grocery, and miscellaneous expenses. First, determine how much you must spend to have your needs met. Then continue cutting and reducing until your budget balances, or preferably, has a positive balance to cover savings, emergencies, and miscalculations. Keep in mind when making reductions you need a realistic, detailed plan you're able to stick to. You might devise a plan to reduce several costs rather than completely eliminate a couple, thereby avoiding the temptation to break the budget. Or vice versa. Just be sure to think it through. don't get sidetracked The final step in budgeting is to stick to it. That's where it’s easy to go astray. To remain within your budget, track
unfixed expenses such as vacations, entertainment, clothing, gifts, and miscellaneous. Buy a ledger and label a separate page for each category. When you dine out, log the expense to ensure you don’t go over your allotment by month's end. Also keep in mind, when extra cash is floating around, it’s tempting to assume the money's available to spend. Remember, your budget is based on averages. This means the extra $100 or $1000 sitting in your bank account must be available to cover another expense down the road, such as property taxes or back to school shopping. Attaining financial security requires self-discipline to live within your means. By setting up an accurate budget and sticking to it, you’ll not only avoid debt and financial hardship but the stress that usually accompanies it. Kimberly Blaker is a freelance parenting and lifestyle writer. She also writes content and blog posts on a broad range of topics for businesses in a variety of industries and is an expert in on-page SEO. Find her at kimberlyblaker.com.
SERIOUSLY FUN GYMNASTICS! www.onthemindsofmoms.com
august • september twenty nineteen | on the minds of moms
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B
orn and raised in Chicago, Jean Paul Mansour and his three older sisters were raised by a single mom. Jean Paul describes himself as a “typical city kid who ran around the neighborhood playing baseball and basketball with
friends.” After serving as a paramedic/firefighter in the Chicagoland area, Jean Paul moved to Fargo in 2012 where www.onthemindsofmoms.com
he now works as an emergency room nurse at Sanford. When he isn’t spending time with his wife Jen [they’ve been married almost 14 years] and their two daughters, Grace [13] and Maren [11], you can find Jean Paul cooking, fishing, or enjoy a round of golf.
photos: ten little chickens photography | renee clasen
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on the minds of moms | august • september twenty nineteen
jean paul mansour age 42, fargo.nd
if i could live any time in history, it would be during… back to the 50’s when life was simpler. Family was the focus, big Sunday dinners and no cell phones!
rad dad
growing up the smartest person i knew was… a childhood friend’s father, Bill. He was a navy office & railroad executive. He was level-headed and always had an answer for me.
my idea of solitude involves…
as i’ve gotten older, i’ve gotten better at…
sitting in my backyard, listening to Dave Matthews & watching my kids play.
learning to relax more & not sweat the small stuff.
growing up i always knew…
what true love really is.
I wanted to be married with a family.
people are always surprised to find out i…
my kiddos have definitely taught me… one of my wife’s best qualities is… her positively. She is always glass half full.
wanted to become a Catholic priest when I was younger.
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august • september twenty nineteen | on the minds of moms
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rad dad hands-down, my all-time favorite movie is…
if money were no object, i would…
Ace Venture Pet Detective—it brings back great memories of lots of laughs with good friends.
start a free community kitchen.
in twenty years i will probably be… retired!
I love them unconditionally and will support them always.
i’m a big fan of…
my biggest pet peeve…
good food from anywhere.
is when people do not have common manners
i really admire people who…
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put family first and respect each other.
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on the minds of moms | august • september twenty nineteen
i hope my kids know…
See. Capture. Compel. We bring a fine arts background, graphic design expertise and years of commercial advertising experience to seeing, capturing and compelling. And it all comes with that special something, the spark, that will set your company, product or service apart.
a dver tising ph otog raphy & vide og raphy august • september twenty nineteen | on the minds of moms
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www.onthemindsofmoms.com
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resources
connect, find help, get answers, make a difference
Pregnancy, Parenting and Adoption Services [PPAS] The PPAS program provides decision-making counseling, parenting support, and adoption services to those facing unintended pregnancies. For expectant parents who choose to parent their child, PPAS provides resources to help them prepare for their new baby. For more information, call 701.235.4457, email info@ catholiccharitiesnd.org, or visit www.catholiccharitiesnd.org. Post-Adopt Support Group Any ND adoptive family or any ND family providing guardianships is invited to attend this group meeting. If you have questions, please email postadopt@pathinc. org or call 701.551.6349. Visit our website [www.ndpostadopt. org] for meeting times across the state of North Dakota. Jeremiah Program Empowerment. Education. Success. It is what Jeremiah Program was built on, what participants strive for, and what the program helps participants achieve. At Jeremiah Program low-income single mothers make a commitment to completing a post-secondary education, launching a successful career, and creating stability and prosperity for their children—all while living in our affordable, safe, housing environment. For more information, call 701.361.3873, email fargomoorhead@jeremiahprogram.org or visit www. facebook.com/JeremiahProgramFargoMoorhead. Hands & Voices Hands & Voices A non-profit, parent-driven organization dedicated to supporting families of children who are deaf or hard of hearing without bias around communication modes or methodology. What Works for your Child is What Makes the Choice Right™ Contact us for more information at 701.484.1605, contact@ndhandsandvoices.org, or visit www. ndhandsandvoices.org.
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Red River Moms of Multiples Second Tuesday of each month. For more information visit www.rrvmothersofmultiples.weebly.com. Children's Consultation Network Provides access to early childhood mental-health screening, assessment, and consultation, develops and distributes children's mental- health resources, provides community education, seeks to diminish stigma, and facilitates collaborative efforts related to children's mental-health services, especially for children ages 0-8. For more information, 701.526.1565, or www.rvcscc.org. Gigi’s Playhouse A Down-syndrome achievement center providing resources, specialized teaching, and support to individuals with Down syndrome, their families, and the community. All programs are free. For more information call 701.551.7529 or visit www.gigisplayhouse.org/fargo.
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on the minds of moms | august • september twenty nineteen
Parent Professional Learning Network The Parent Professional Learning Network is a Parent Navigator Team with Family Voices of North Dakota. It offers an opportunity for parents of children with special needs and the professionals who work with them to come together to learn and grow. For more information email parentproflearningnetwork@gmail.com. The Compassionate Friends Second Thursday of each month, 7pm at Faith Lutheran Church [127 2nd Av E, West Fargo]. Offering grief support after the death of a child. For more information email chapterleader@tcffargomoorhead.org, call 701.491.0364 or visit www.tcffargomoorhead.org/. MOMS Club of Fargo/Moorhead IR, ND Provides monthly activities, playgroups, special projects, and support for local moms. This group is open to moms and their children in the F-M area. For more information contact momscluboffm@gmail. com or visit www.facebook.com/MomsClubFargo. Harlynn’s Heart Providing multiple services, resources, and comfort to parents, families, and friends who have or will experience perinatal loss. For more information, visit www. harlynnsheart.org or email info@harlynnsheart.org. Catholic Charities ND Counseling Professional and confidential counselors provide services to individuals, couples, and families dealing with relationship issues, stress or anger management, and a variety of other issues. We work with most insurances, EAP’s, and have a sliding-fee scale for those who don’t qualify for other resources. For more information call 701.235.4457, email info@catholiccharitiesnd.org, or visit www. catholiccharitiesnd.org. Red River Valley Asperger-Autism Network Child Caregiver Support Group Every Tuesday from 12pm-1pm at Olivet Lutheran Church [1303 S University Dr, Fargo]. For additional information visit www.rrvan.org. Pregnancy & Infant-Loss Support Group Hospice of the Red River Valley [www.hrrv.org], in partnership with Harlynn’s Heart [www.harlynnsheart.org], offers an ongoing pregnancy and infant-loss support group which meets the fourth Tuesday of each month from 6:30pm-8pm at Hospice of the Red River Valley [1701 38th St S, Fargo]. Please use the west door. This is an ongoing support group for anyone who has experienced the death of a baby through pregnancy loss, stillbirth, or in the first year of life. The purpose of this group is to provide compassionate grief support, understanding, and resources to bereaved parents while allowing them to share their grief in a safe place with
resources others who are experiencing a similar journey. This group is free and open to the public. For more information or questions call 800.237.4629 and ask for the bereavement department.
tion contact Kara Woodbury Fladland, LPCC 701.234.4111, or visit www.sanfordhealth.org/classesandevents/ClassDetail/ cb9a7533-e6f9-41cb-b562-3a7c0fc46f45.
FM Autism Support Group Second Friday of each month from 7pm-9pm at YMCA Downtown [401 1st Av S, Fargo]. For more information visit www.facebook.com/ FM-Autism-Support-Group-171027578792.
Survivor of Suicide Loss Third Thursday of each month. Provide a safe, accepting, and supportive environment and opportunity to talk openly. For more information contact Mary at 701.219.4110 or afspnd@gmail.com.
North Dakota Home-School Association Providing information on the North Dakota home-school law, contacts for area support groups, a free downloadable Home-School Packet, convention information, the current statement-of-intent form, and thoughtful articles on various aspects of private, parent-directed home education. Visit www.homeschool-life. com/nd/ndhsa for more information.
Birthright Pregnancy testing, counseling, prenatal, and parenting education, maternity and infant clothing, emergency supplies of diapers and formula and labor support. All services are free and confidential. To volunteer or donate contact 218.477.1977 or www.birthright.org.
HOPE, Inc. Provides a year-round sports and recreation program for children and young adults ages 2-23 with mobility challenges. We are family-centered and provide extra equipment so the ENTIRE family can play! Contact Adair at 701.866.9002 or adair@hopeinconline.org for more information or visit www. hopeinconline.org. Rape & Abuse Crisis Center Crisis intervention, advocacy, and counseling services to all persons who have been victims of domestic violence or sexual abuse. Volunteer or donate. Call 701.293.7273 or visit www.raccfm.com. Eating Disorders Monthly Family & Friends Support Group If you have a loved one with an eating disorder, you are invited and encouraged to attend this support group dedicated to providing a comfortable, supportive, and confidential environment where you will be provided with information about eating disorders and tools to aid in your loved one’s recovery. This group is open to friends, parents, partners, caregivers, and adult children. Registration: for more informa-
PATH of North Dakota An organization offering a more personalized approach to foster care. For more information www. pathinc.org or 701.293.9968. Gluten Intolerance Group of Fargo/Moorhead GIG of F/M holds gatherings for education, fellowship, and support for those living with Celiac Disease, Gluten Intolerance, or Gluten Sensitivity. You do not need to be a paid member of this group to attend any meetings. For more information visit www.gluten.org/ localbranches/fargo-moorhead/?state_id=333. MOMS Club of West Fargo Offers support, activities, and friendship for moms who work at home full or part time. For more information visit www.facebook.com/MOMSClubWestFargo or email momsclubofwf@yahoo.com. For more listings, visit www.OnTheMindsOfMoms.com/support. To submit a group or resource for consideration to be posted on our website, email information to info@onthemindsofmoms.com. OTMOM does its best to keep information accurate, but organizations are responsible for providing updated information. It is always a good idea to call ahead to confirm the information provided.
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hope over fear
photos: ten little chickens photography | renee clasen
lynn kotrba
story by | sheri kleinsasser stockmoe
I
t’s always there. She’s lived with the knowledge of this horrible disease for over three decades. Her odds are 50-50. She keeps moving forward, but she can’t shake it. It’s always there. It’s heavy. It’s scary. She can’t change her genetics, but she can create change because there is always hope.
hope over fear
hope over fear Lynn Kotrba was in the fourth grade in East Grand Forks when her mom was diagnosed. “I have a couple of memories of my mom before she was sick, but most of my memories are of her sick,” Lynn shares. Lynn’s mom, Margaret, was diagnosed with Huntington's disease, which is a progressive brain disorder. “The way I describe it, Huntington's is similar to Parkinson's, Alzheimer's, and MS all in one,” Lynn explains. “It's just bad, all around.” Huntington’s is caused by a single defective gene. This defect is inherited from a parent with Huntington's and because the defect is “dominate” anyone with the defective gene will eventually develop the disease. Symptoms of Huntington’s typically present themselves in a person’s 30s or 40s, and there is no cure. Margaret was 40 when her symptoms began. The youngest of six, Lynn and her sister, who was seven years older, were the only kids still at home. Her dad was the chief of police and as Margaret’s symptoms progressed, he struggled with deciding how to care for his wife and provide for his family. He turned to the family’s priest for guidance. “He called Father Jerry, told him he didn’t know what to do, but thought he would have to take my sister out of school so she could take care of our mom,” Lynn says. “Father Jerry said, ‘no, you're not going to do that, we'll figure something out.’”
Sister Imelda would make the six-block trip each day for three years until Margaret entered a nursing home in Crookston, MN. Sister Imelda then moved to the convent in Crookston and would visit Margaret each day in the nursing home until Margaret’s death six months later. Lynn was in eighth grade. She was thirteen and now
august • september twenty nineteen | on the minds of moms
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A short time after that, Father Jerry called to let the family know there was a nun who was going to come and take care of Margaret. “We lived about six blocks from school, and Sister Imelda lived at the convent, and she would walk over every day, get there at seven in the morning, and then we would go to school and work, and she would stay, take care of mom, make supper, and take care of everything. Then she'd walk home at the end of the day, and never let my dad give her a ride. She always wanted to walk. Even when it was below zero, she wanted to walk,” Lynn remembered with a smile. “She was an angel in our lives.”
hope over fear lived with the fact that she and her siblings could be living with the same disease that has no cure.
can show up later. It can show up earlier. But normally it's between 35 and 45. I'm 44. I hate my birthday.”
making a difference “After my mom died, I very much wanted to become a doctor and cure Huntington's,” Lynn remembers. Her junior year of high school, she entered a program where students could shadow medical professionals at the local hospital and see if the medical field as a career fit. Lynn quickly realized it wasn’t for her, and like every young person her age she was trying to find her place, but she was also dealing with the reality that Huntington’s disease could be an inevitable part of her life.
“I told Jason years ago, I don't want to do much for my birthday until I get to like 50,” Lynn continues. “It's just this number in my head that, if I'm going to have it, I'm going to know between 35 and 45. That's just always the way I've thought. It's kind of silly. But when you watch your mom and sister go through such a horrific disease and they both died when they were 49, it’s hard to celebrate getting older and potentially closer to a diagnosis.”
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“There were times while I was in high school where I don't really think I suffered from depression or had mental health issues, but I looked at what my dad had gone through and thought I don't ever want to put a husband through what my dad went through,” Lynn shares. “There were times when I thought if I find out I have Huntington's I would either kill myself or become a nun. Totally the wrong reason to become a nun, but I just did not want anyone to go through what we had watched my dad go through. For so many years, just taking care of my mom and what it did to him. But then I met Jason and that went out the window!”
Even while being at risk, Lynn has chosen to keep moving forward in her life. She and Jason have been married 22 years and have seven kids, Autumn [15], Hannah [13], Shawn [11], Joe [10], Olivia [9], Ella [7], and Ava [5]. Jason has been principal at Holy Spirit Elementary school in Fargo for 17 years and Lynn has been with Lutheran Social Services in Minnesota as a foster care counselor for nearly 20 years.
“I think people who are at-risk for Huntington's, for some, it's the end of the world to them. They're angry, and they don't like their life, and they don't want anyone to know or they're keeping a secret, or they're not doing what they really want to do in life because ‘what if I really do have Huntington's?’ They're holding back from “I tried to date her in seventh grade, but she didn't want who they really could be, just always waiting for the shoe to fall,” she says. “I just think, you can't do that. anything to do with a seventh-grader,” Jason says with a laugh. “Her confidence and the fact that she was And there were times when Jason and I thought, should beautiful, and still is, is what made me fall in love with we have kids? Because what if I do have Huntington's? her. By February of her senior year and my junior year Well, now I think, what if we would have made that rolled around I just knew she was the right one for me.” decision? These seven blessings that wouldn't be here? And then I think, how are they going to bless the world?” Lynn knew Jason was the right one for her too. more than a home at risk reality In January 2015 the Kotrba family of nine were looking Huntington’s disease would make another ugly appearto either move or expand their existing home, when ance in Lynn’s family with the diagnosis and death of they found a north Moorhead farm that immediately her oldest sister Lisa. “After my mom died, it was like felt like their forever home. After a different offer was Huntington’s was this big white elephant in the room initially accepted, Lynn and Jason decided they would that everyone ignored, and no one wanted to talk about, stay in their existing home. Five months later their and then my sister got sick. It was hard for us, but we realtor called to let them know the farm was available always knew that we were all at risk.” again. June 15, 2015, they closed on their farm. The Lynn, two of her brothers and other sister have not following Sunday the family enjoyed a grill-out at their new home. “Jason said to me, there's a reason God been tested for Huntington’s. “One brother has been tested and he does not have it,” Lynn says. “My mom wanted us to have this place, we have to figure out how and sister were both diagnosed around the age of 40. to bless others,” Lynn recalls. She felt it too, but how? Normally Huntington’s shows up between 35 and 45. It
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on the minds of moms | august • september twenty nineteen
“We both kept thinking about it. What can we do? Since we got married, we’ve always wanted to do some sort of
hope over fear
hope over fear camp to help people, but we didn't know what kind of camp. “Well, I'm kind of persistent,” Lynn says with a smile. “So Then in 2017, I started having these visions of sheep and I kept bugging them. Every week or two I would email kids in our forest. I know it sounds crazy,” Lynn says with and I sent them my full family history of Huntington's.” a smile. “At first I didn't say anything to Jason or anyone.” It worked. Lynn got a call back that the organization But they were vivid. Finally, she confided in Jason. had reconsidered and they would give the Kotrba’s “See what happens when you open your eyes and ears ten sheep to get their flock started and they could be and you listen to God?” her husband responded. “God involved in their research. has been speaking to you and you haven't been listening Things continued to fall into place. The framework of and now you are.” their farm camp was done. Their sheep were coming, a friend and attorney by trade, helped Lynn fill out all “At first I was kind of mad,” Lynn admits. “I've been going to Catholic school all my life and you're telling the sea of paperwork to create their non-profit. Janelle me this right now that I’m not listening? But Jason has Gergen, a childhood friend stepped up to offer logo and had visions like that for years and I've always told him website design, marketing and PR help, another friend I wish I could hear God like he does.” Was she hearing lent her gift of photography. Him now? Harvest Hope Farm was a reality, just six-months after She kept having these visions. Sheep and lots of kids, Lynn’s first vision. more than just their kids and a road in their forest. “God has just sent all these people to us,” Lynn says. What about a farm camp? They could teach kids about “It's just amazing. Everyone's done everything pro bono the outdoors, where their food comes from and they for us. We haven't even asked. We just expected to pay can pay it forward by donating the produce grown, for stuff and people said no, we'll just do it pro bono.” and maybe they could get some more animals besides the chickens they already had. Was that a good idea? Jason agrees. “God keeps opening doors for us. We are
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Lynn decided to bounce the idea off her friend Dr. Kim Vonnahme, a doctor of animal science at NDSU. “I got goose-bumps when she said how they wanted to use their farm to give back to the community,” Kim remembers. And she wanted to be a part of it. “As an Iowa farm girl, and being a scientist in the area of agriculture, I was so excited to share my joy and knowledge of agriculture with young children! How could I not want to jump on board?” Jason and Lynn continued brainstorming their farm camp and establishing a non-profit. Then Lynn’s niece sent her a story about a Mankato, MN family that were raising sheep that could be used in Huntington’s disease research. The story lead Lynn to Shepherd's Gift: GM1 for HD [www.theshepherdsgift.org] in South Dakota, whose mission is to promote a treatment for Huntington's disease and other neurological diseases and disorders using sheep. GM1 is a naturally occurring molecule found in all mammals but is deficient in Huntington’s, Parkinson's and Alzheimer's patients. GM1 research has shown great promise in animal models to reverse the devastating symptoms of Huntington’s disease. Lynn immediately got in contact with Shepherd’s Gift but was told they weren’t looking to set up any new farms.
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on the minds of moms | august • september twenty nineteen
blessed and thank everyone for their support of Harvest Hope Farm. To whom much is given, much is required!” the flock While the Kotrba’s had no idea how to care for sheep or how to lamb, Lynn wanted the chance to impact Huntington’s disease. “We were like the blind leading the blind, we had no clue,” Lynn confesses with a laugh. Ten pregnant sheep came to the Kotrba’s farm April 2018. They didn’t carry the GM1 gene, but the ram they were bred with did. So, some of the lambs born would carry that gene. “The lambs that carry this GM1 gene, overproduce a glyco-sugar that people with Huntington's Disease are deficient in,” Lynn explains. “If the lamb gets the positive gene from dad and from mom, then they're able to be used for research.” The Kotrba’s keep only the gene-positive females because they are breeding the gene in. From their initial flock, six females were positive and will be bred this fall with a gene-positive ram. The lambs then born with the positive gene from this breeding are then bought by the research team in South Dakota where they are harvested and their liver is used to make the medication used in the research.
hope over fear
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august • september twenty nineteen | on the minds of moms
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hope over fear Research is in the third of five mouse trials. “Everything is going the way it should go,” Lynn says. After the mouse trials, human trials should begin. “I just feel so much more hope,” Lynn says of having their sheep herd. “I feared Huntington's, every day. But now that we are actually a part of the cure, I can feel that hope in me. And the kids do too. We were eating supper one day and one of the kids said, ‘you know what mom if you got Huntington's disease your cure is right here in our backyard.’ Yeah, it is!” a ripple effect “All of this with Harvest Hope Farm has been so good for all of us,” Lynn says. “For me, for Jason, for the kids, just to be able to take this negative thing in my life that was so very negative and to turn it into a positive, an impact, and help others is amazing.” Harvest Hope Farm runs completely on donations. They will be hosting their annual fundraiser on September 8th, but donations are accepted year-round. You can also sponsor a sheep for $300 per year. “I admire that Lynn is compassionate, hard-working and a dreamer,” Janelle says. “She is not afraid to love big and express her pursuits of all things great and glorious!” Kim agrees. “Lynn is the most selfless person I know—I am always in awe about how she happily takes things on to help out her community. She always approaches you with a smile and a friendly hello! She opens her heart and her home whenever it is needed. We are blessed to have her in our community!”
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The second annual farm camp is nearing completion. Fourteen “city kids,” ages 6-13, have been getting their hands dirty each week, tending their gardens and animals, and learning lessons of the farm and more. “The growth we've seen in so many of them is amazing. We have a couple of girls who, initially, were scared to do stuff and now they're right in there. Their confidence is just growing.” And Lynn is quick to graciously acknowledge Harvest Hope Farm is where it is because of numerous volunteers and its board of directors. “Harvest Hope Farm is about so much more than the Kotrba family,” Lynn says. “It is about a group of people who said yes to a calling. A group of people, who are all active in their own lives, with their own families and careers, a group of people who believed in the mission of bringing hope to others through Harvest Hope Farm.” 40
on the minds of moms | august • september twenty nineteen
a calling of hope When Lynn’s son Shawn was baptized, Sister Imelda brought him a stuffed lamb, which he has loved through his childhood. “I had said to Jason just think of that. Sister gave this to Shawn after caring for my mom, and now we have sheep that will potentially cure Huntington's disease. Coincidence? I don't know.” Looking back, Lynn sees many blessings in all she has experienced. What would she tell that young girl that lost her mom and sister to such a horrible disease? “Don't Give Up. Step Up. Change the world one person at a time. Be kind. Be you. Know your why and don't let other people change it. Enjoy every moment. Don't live for the what if's. Doing the right thing, is always the right thing, no matter how exhausted it may make you. Live your best life always. No matter how bad things may seem, they can get better and you will always have people there to support you. Say I love you and mean it.” And looking forward? “In the next 5-10 years Harvest Hope Farm will be nationally impacting the cure for Huntington’s disease,” Jason proudly says. “Our farm camp will also be giving kids an opportunity to learn and give to others through the growth of food. The sheep heard will be one of the region’s largest.” Jason’s answer doesn’t surprise Lynn. “He is just the eternal optimist, and ever faithful, and totally, 100% supportive of everything.” Lynn also hopes to be working full-time with Harvest Hope Farm. “I found my reason. I have found my purpose in life now that we're doing this,” Lynn says with a smile. “Before I had a purpose of being a mom, and doing what I do for my job, but something was always missing. I just kind of always felt like there was something more for me to be doing than what I was doing.
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Janelle can only look at her friend Lynn and Harvest Hope Farm with awe. “A woman whose life and family has been profoundly altered by a horrid disease wakes up each day and humbly chooses to embrace hope over fear. Even amidst heartache and struggle, there are ways and reasons to look beyond our own sufferings to make a difference in this life so that others' burdens can be lessened.” “Now, I'm 100% fulfilled,” Lynn says with a soft smile. To learn more about Harvest Hope Farm visit www.harvesthopefarm.org. august • september twenty nineteen | on the minds of moms
41
ready, set, grow
story by | sheri kleinsasser stockmoe
Y
ou’re a reasonable mama. You don’t rush to the ER with every sniffle or scrape your kiddo has…or are you? Of course anytime you have concerns about the wellbeing of your kiddo, consult your trusted physician, but in this issue’s Ready Set Grow we’re going to chat about some home treatment options for common kiddo occurrences. Sit back, learn something and dream about what you’ll do for numero uno with all the insurance co-pay money you’re going to save!
ol’ school remedies
ready, set, grow
diaper rash is especially common between 8 to 10 months of age
wee ones [0–18 months]
Y
our wee one’s skin is so perfect…until you take off that diaper to reveal a bright red, chapped bottom! No one wants their wee one to resemble one of those redbottomed monkeys on the National Geographic channel!
red bum be gone Most every wee one gets a diaper rash, so don’t beat yourself up or assume something is wrong when they happen. But some rashes can be more severe than others and some wee ones are more prone to getting them. You can do your best to decrease the likelihood of rashes by first changing diapers frequently, especially getting to the poopy ones ASAP! Then you need to make some changes if necessary:
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on the minds of moms | august • september twenty nineteen
• new duty catcher All diapers are not created equally. They fit differently, absorb differently and have different fragrances and what not. Your sensitive little bum might need a little trial and error to find the right one. Also, consider using cloth diapers. And when it’s diaper laundry day, add 1/2 cup of vinegar to the rinse cycle. This helps remove alkaline irritants. • wipe it…wipe it good Stuffs gotta be gone and dry. Make sure all remnants of diaper surprise are removed and that little bum is dry as the Sierra desert. Also, consider giving that bum some breathing room and get a little fresh air before slapping on that diaper right away. • consider h2o When it comes to wipes, make sure they are unscented or just use water. Do your best to take the irritation out of everything that comes in contact with that sweet, little bum. • defensive measures If rashes seem to be a common occurrence consider using one of the creams or pastes on the market to give your wee one a barrier of defense. And just like diapers, it might take some trial and error to find the one right.
in the mid-1950’s Harvard researchers determined nearly 90% of 24-month-olds in the US were successfully potty trained, but since disposable diapers were launched in 1961, the average age has increased to between 36 and 38 months
ready, set, grow
tots
[18 months–3 years]
P
otty time is a big deal for your tot. “Do you have to go potty?” “Come on, let’s go potty.” “Yay, you went potty!” Lots of daily focus it spent on when he goes and what he did. So, not being able to go can throw a real wrench in potty plans.
It’s important to do your best to relieve constipation when it hits as it can become a self-perpetuating problem: tot gets constipated…it hurts to go…tot doesn’t want
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Early Learning Center • 218-284-3800 august • september twenty nineteen | on the minds of moms
45
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times are hard It is very common for tots to experience constipation or times of infrequent or unusually hard #2-s. And every tot’s “normal” bowel movement pattern is different. Some tots go daily, others weekly. If you notice changes in normal patterns, stools that are hard and small or large and knobby, he is straining on the toilet or is holding in poop because it’s going if he goes, his tummy is bloated and/or sore or he starts having accidents with runny #2-s, it’s time to take some action: • wash it out If your tot isn’t drinking enough fluids, the colon steals water from waste material and gives it to the rest of the body. Pushing the fluids can help get things moving. • get movin’ Being active helps with digestion and gets the bowels moving. So get your tot out to play and run around. • p’s for…yep…poop! Consider natural laxatives like the four P’s: prunes, peaches, plums, and pears. Eat ‘em, drink ‘em diluted or straight up and see if everything works its way out.
to go…tot holds on…stool gets harder, larger and more painful to pass. This is a bad cycle to get into. As you treat constipation also take into consideration your tot’s diet and what is currently happening in his life. Make sure he is getting enough fresh fruits, vegetables and whole grains. And lastly, be aware that emotions can have an effect on intestinal function. If there is anything creating stress for your tot, it can cause constipation as well.
ready, set, grow
during cold and flu season alone, 59% of surfaces in your home can be contaminated with the flu virus [and it can survive for more than 48 hours]
preschoolers [3–5 years]
S
he can catch flying phlegm in a single bound…snot is no match for her…airborne germs can’t get through her defenses…puke? Give me a break! She’s super mom! Cold and flu season is no match for her!
here a yack, there a cough, everywhere a puke The best offense for cold and flu season is a good defense. Instill healthy habits in your kiddos early [regular exercise, good nutrition, adequate sleep and proper hand washing]. But as hard a good mama will try it’s inevitable your preschooler is going to catch something. Regardless of the symptoms, no mama likes seeing their kiddo sick. And if at all possible, we prefer to not give them medicine, but not at the expense of
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on the minds of moms | august • september twenty nineteen
them being uncomfortable. Here are some treatment options for what ails ya: • sour throat How about a little lemon with your honey. Lemon juice dries up congestion and honey offers a soothing coating. Mix together a tablespoon of each and microwave about twenty seconds or until it is warm [not hot]. Have your preschooler drink slowly, about a teaspoon at a time. Remember that honey is not for kiddos under 12-months-old. • cool a cough Turn to a cool-mist humidifier when your preschooler has a nagging cough. Moist air helps ease coughing and congestion. Don’t forget to clean your humidifier frequently as it can be a breeding ground for mold and bacteria. The last thing you want to do is spew gunk into the air…keep it clean! • get comfy When your preschooler isn’t feeling well, get them comfortable. Push the fluids [water, juice, warm soups] to prevent dehydration, get plenty of rest and consider pain relievers as needed. Keep in mind that the use of over-the-counter pain relievers, such as acetaminophen [Tylenol] or ibuprofen [Advil, Motrin] are not recommended for kiddos under age two and it is extremely important to read the label of any and all cold medicine you give your preschooler to ensure overdosing doesn’t occur.
more kiddos ages 5 to 14 are seen in emergency departments for injuries related to biking than any other sport
ready, set, grow
big kids [6–9 years]
T
here’s no stopping a big kid at play. Runnin’ and jumpin’ is usually followed by random collisions resulting in some much-needed mama first-aid.
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a dash of this & a touch of that Bumps, bruises and scrapes are a rite of passage for our big kids and their love of activity. When a hug and kiss aren’t enough to put them on the mend, try some of these fixes for common battle scars: • spicy stops Gotta nosebleed? Start by keeping your big kid’s head upright and pinch his nostrils together for several minutes. Then sprinkle a pinch of ground cayenne pepper [yes cayenne pepper] on a wet cotton swab and dab the inside of it on the area that is bleeding. This spice helps clot blood and has been used as such by cultures around the world. And surprisingly it doesn’t sting like you might expect. • cool reducer Sure, you’ve seen the spa scene where the client is relaxing with two perfectly placed cucumber slices on their eyes. Well, there’s a reason…cucumbers are great for reducing mild swelling. Keep a few slices in the fridge and apply as needed. Then when they start to warm up, swap ‘em out with a new batch from the fridge. • black eye away The best treatment for a black eye is ice and a lot of it the first 24-48 hours. You’ve probably heard or seen the old raw steak to the eye treatment. It isn’t the raw meat that does the trick; it’s the coldness of the steak. A cold pop is just as
effective. The thing to remember when applying ice or another cold object is to not put pressure on the eyeball. • bruise be gone What a beautiful color show a bruise can provide. If you want to help that bruise heal a little faster, consider busting out the cayenne pepper again. Mixture one part cayenne pepper and five parts melted Vaseline, mix and cool and then apply once a day.
august • september twenty nineteen | on the minds of moms
47
ready, set, grow
in most cases, warts will disappear on their own in 6 months, but in severe cases, they may never disappear and can multiply
tweeners [10–12 years]
I
t’s in every house, can fix most anything and is MacGyver’s best friend. What is it? Duct Tape, baby! And now you have another use!
creepy, crusty Let’s face it, no one wants a wart. And as your tweener puts more and more attention on the reflection in the mirror, it’s safe to say a wart isn’t on the list of “musthaves.” Warts are a type of infections caused by one of the 100 viruses found in the human papillomavirus [HPV] family. They can occur anywhere on the body but are commonly seen on the hands and feet. Warts can be spread from one person to next by touching the wart or using shared items such as a towel. The good news is many people have a natural resistance to
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on the minds of moms | august • september twenty nineteen
HPV. The bad news? Others are more susceptible and get warts easily. So, what do you do with a wart? For warts on your face or other [below the belt] areas, go to the doctor. For those found on your hands, fingers, knees or feet, treating at home can be successful. There are a number of over-the-counter wart treatments you can try or you can turn to the junk drawer and give duct tape a shot: 1. place a small piece of duct tape over the wart and leave it on for six days [if the tape gets icky or comes off, just reapply] 2. remove the tape and soak the wart is in water for a few minutes 3. then, use an emery board or pumice stone to remove dead skin 4. apply a new piece of duct tape and repeat the process until the wart is gone The duct tape method can take up to two months, but it’s great because it is painless. Why does it work? The experts aren’t exactly sure, but one theory is that the duct tape, and what it’s made of, irritates the wart and stimulates the immune system to fight off the virus causing the wart. Worth a try!
Sources: www.parents.com | www.askdrsears.com | www.webmd.com www.mayoclinic.com | www.homemademedicine.com | www.safekids.org
caffeine makes the chances of suffering from severe PMS symptoms 4x’s greater
ready, set, grow
teens [13–18years]
S
he’s sweet, kind and so much fun to be around. But there is something lurking, something dangerous and terrifying…your teen with PMS! When that hormone train comes roaring into the station and derails right in the living room for no rational reason, no one is safe and everyone is heading for cover! we feel your pain There is a tricky hormone dance happening within your teen that we mama’s know all too well. Most of the time estrogen and progesterone are in perfect step, but once a month one can start stepping on the toes of the other and balance is no more. Estrogen takes the lead and your teen is left feeling anxious and irritable. More progesterone and she’s feeling depressed and fatigued. No fun for anyone when things are out of balance. Here are some tips to help your teen combat the hazards of being a woman: • 1200mg will do Taking about 1200 milligrams of calcium can lessen symptoms of PMS such as bloating and cramping. Also consider limiting caffeine,
sugar, artificial sweeteners, processed foods and hydrogenated fats from your diet. • fiber up Eating additional fiber [and drinking plenty of water] can help the body get rid of excess estrogen and eliminate toxins. Not to mention fiber is also great at making you feel full, which can help ward off PMS cravings for not such healthy foods. • vitex anyone Also known as Agnus Cactus or Chastetree or Chasteberry or Monk's Pepper, Vitex is a plant that’s use has been dated back to Hippocrates in the 4th century B.C., and clinical studies have found it to lesson pesky PMS symptoms. In a nutshell, Vitex works through the hypothalamus-pituitary axis to restore the balance between estrogen and progesterone. Clinical studies have shown a reduction in headaches, breast tenderness, bloating, fatigue, cravings for sweets, as well as feelings of anxiety, irritability, depression and mood swings. • gym time Exercise is a great reducer of PMS symptoms. Just another reason to get your teen moving.
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august • september twenty nineteen | on the minds of moms
49
hope is being able to see there is light despite all the darkness. —desmond tutu
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