december january
twenty sixteen•seventeen
the valley’s
for today’s
Making the season
Sweeter
Peanut Butter Cup Christmas Trees Ingredients:
1 Snack size Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups 2 mini peanut butter cups 1 Hershey’s Kiss
Decorating Icing - any color Rainbow Sprinkles Miniature Star Sprinkles
Bag and give as a cute gift or serve on a cookie platter for the holidays.
Get more holiday recipes, digital offers & more at hornbachers.com
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contents
in every issue contributors .
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 9
event calendar . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 20 food for thought . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 24 shutterbug
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 26
oh, by the way . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 40
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contents gettin' through it
sections
making holidays happy‌amidst sensory abundance . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 28
did you know how a new treatment can restore your feminine health . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 32
body + being be mindful‌be enough . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 42
just a thought seasons of change . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 46
ready, set, grow disney world at any age . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 58
36
contents
feature & profiles mod mom profile katie lorenz . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 12
mompreneur angie kuznia— titan homes inc. . . . . . . . . . . 16
rad dad profile chris yokom . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 36
cover story molly klein—choose your adventure . . . . . . . 50
50
moms
on the minds of
we are
online digital & social in purses
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PUBLISHER DS Communication, LLC EDITOR Dani Parkos Fluge
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ADVERTISING Mary Klabo p: 218.791.2848 e: mary@onthemindsofmoms.com
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DESIGN AND LAYOUT
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AD DESIGN Casie Beldo Scott Thuen Tara Kessler Stephanie Drietz EDITORIAL CONTACT e: hello@onthemindsofmoms.com
INFORMATION mail: PO Box 190, Fargo, ND 58107
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OTMOM MISSION STATEMENT On The Minds Of Moms Magazine is dedicated to providing parents of all ages a bimonthly resource they can trust. A fresh approach to traditional parenting publications, we are modern and inspiring while offering a community of local support and real-life advice for today’s family. On The Minds Of Moms contains views from across the parenting spectrum. These views do not necessarily reflect those of the publisher. All activities listed in these pages are at your own risk and require appropriate supervision. OTMOM is a publication available at all Fargo-Moorhead Hornbacher's, Family Fare, and Grand Forks–East Grand Forks Hornbacher's and Hugo's grocery store locations. Distribution also includes all partnering advertisers. Copyright 2016-2017 All Rights Reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced without written permission from the publisher. On The Minds Of Moms is a trademark registered at the U.S. Patent and Trademark Office.
contributors
if i could give my kids one gift it would be… melissa dahl hawley | mn body+being: page 42 the gift of courage to turn towards self-acceptance. When they go through the many challenges that life will present, may they be kind to themselves. This will help them to continue to learn and grow.
sarah meinhardt west fargo | nd gettin’ through it: page 28 an eternal light of the deep, heartfelt feeling of love you have when your baby is born, or when you're passionate for your significant other. Love is the basis of all that is good. From love comes joy, inner peace, forgiveness, patience, growth, health, caring, kindness, acceptance of differences, support for one another, constructive problem solving with a win-win attitude, and bringing value to each and everyone's life. I wish for my children and my clients to always know and feel love, and to know I love them.
kathleen wrigley bismarck | nd just a thought: page 46 to rely on their faith in good times and in bad. To celebrate, to share, and to carry them throughout all the days of their lives.
deb uglem fargo | nd oh by the way: page 40 emotional intelligence. That's the first thing. It is a skill to last a lifetime. You can't put a price on the knowledge of your own and others’ emotions. I want my kids to empathize and understand in all situations. You can however, put a price on phone upgrades and that is the second gift I would give to my children. A broken phone always comes at the wrong time!
patricia carlson naples | fl ready set grow: page 58 how to be problem solvers. Whether it’s a disagreement over a toy, a flashlight that isn’t working, bills that need to be paid, or a challenge at school or work, I wish my children could learn how to accept, tackle, and solve a problem. And when they feel they can’t do it, to know it’s okay to ask for help!
tamra schue-garburg west fargo | nd did you know: page 32 if I could teach my kids one thing it would be compassion. The gift I would want them to have is a drive to make a positive difference in the world.
kari klingsporn hitterdal fargo | nd food for thought: page 24 to have an understanding of the importance of failure. Life is not perfect, it is not fair, and it is not meant to be lived in fear of failure. Some of the best learning moments in life come from mess-ups and heartache in times of dread and lost hope. The idea of living the perfect life, being perfect, and expecting nothing but perfect promotes an unrealistic view of real life's moments of challenge- the truly meaningful moments of life that give us character, empathy, and experience to mold us into better people!
otmom list
28
sets of LEGOs are sold every second during the Christmas season. Seems about right!
31
the number of hours Santa has to deliver gifts, taking time zones into account. Santa’s got those reindeer booking because they have to visit 823 homes per second to make Christmas morning happy for all the good boys and girls!
5,800
the average number of ER visits attributed to holiday decorating injuries. Is it just me or does that seem low?
“Treating patients like family and friends is their specialty!” S.J., Facebook Review
Our reviews tell you more about us than we ever could. Find us on Facebook to see more of what our patients are saying about the five-star comfortable and modern www.onthemindsofmoms.com
care they receive! We look forward to meeting you and caring for your smile. PAUL FREDRIKSON, DDS PC
RYAN NYGARD, DDS
3011 25th Street South, Suite 1 Fargo, North Dakota 58103 701.280.0088 • www.smilecareteam.com
www.facebook.com/SmileCareInFargo
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on the minds of moms | december • january twenty sixteen-seventeen
FAMILY AND COSMETIC DENTISTRY
otmom list
50 1836 5,000,000
Americans finished their holiday shopping before the end of summer in 2015. Who in the world are these crazy people?!?!
states grow Christmas trees. Yep, every state including Hawaii. Talk about an All-American product.
the year Alabama became the first US state to officially recognize Christmas as a holiday. Christmas wasn’t declared a federal holiday until June 26, 1870.
sources: www.realsimple.com | www.verticalresponse.com www.factretriever.com
www.onthemindsofmoms.com
december • january twenty sixteen-seventeen | on the minds of moms
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T
his proud farm girl grew up in Tower City, ND, the big sister to Justin and Kristen, under the watchful eyes of strong parents who instilled the faith of God and importance of a hard-work ethic. Katie’s childhood consisted of hours
driving tractors and combines when not in school or competing in athletics, but when it came time to choose a career, doing anything that didn’t involve getting dirty at the farm seemed like a great choice. Katie attended the University of Mary in Bismarck on a track and field scholarship and earned a Bachelor’s degree in Radiation Science. She felt a calling to help cancer patients and continued her education, participating in the Radiation Therapy Graduate Program at the University of Iowa. Married to Korey for nine years, the couple make their home in Casselton with their three kiddos, Kash [8], Konnor [6], and Kollyns [2]. In a twist of fate, Katie was given the opportunity to return to the agriculture industry as Regional Sales Manager with Stine Seed. Now she can work from home and relive her youth getting her hands dirty in the farming industry. She absolutely loves it…who would've guessed?!
photos: caitlin killoran photography | caitlin killoran
katie lorenz age 31, casselton.nd
growing up i always wanted to be… a veterinarian. An animal lover at heart, I grew up having hamsters, ferrets, rabbits, dogs, and cats. Now, having a home of my own, I couldn’t imagine letting any of those rodents live with us! One dog—a goldendoodle named Tebow—is enough!
i could be considered an expert in… how to drive, just ask my husband!
mod mom
she made to make sure we had the things we needed.
people can’t believe i... have my pilot’s license. It has always been a dream of mine and last year I decided it was time to go for it. There is no time like the present to get out of your comfort zone. My favorite hobby now is to hit the open skies and enjoy the view. My father is also a pilot and my favorite flying partner!
my best work-family balance tip includes… to not stress over dinner. Although I enjoy making healthy meals for my family, time is always tight and I may order in or make a box of macaroni and cheese more than I'd like to admit. To me, taking the time to go for a quick family bike ride on a gorgeous fall evening is time better spent. More importantly, taking the time to sit down together at the table is precious, whether it’s over pizza or something I slaved hours in the kitchen putting together!
one thing boy moms understand is… roughhousing and just how instantly it can go from giggles to tears.
ten years from now i hope my daughter knows…
to book a session, visit caitlinkilloranphotography.com C
to believe in herself! Set goals and shoot for the stars! You are capable of anything you put your mind to.
my girlfriends give me… www.onthemindsofmoms.com
a reason to get dressed up and hit the town. We love to try the newest fine dining establishments and there is always laughter to accompany!
my mom taught me... that dreams don’t work unless you do. She worked as a registered nurse for nearly 30 years. I remember her working many weekends and holidays growing up. Now, as a mother myself, I realize the sacrifices
december • january twenty sixteen-seventeen | on the minds of moms
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mod mom my favorite christmas memory… taking a trip to Arizona to see Grandma and Grandpa as a child. Family trips really do make the best memories.
my best mom quality is… being active with my kids. There is nothing I enjoy more than spending time doing physical activities with my family. In the summer months we enjoy being outside—especially on the water at the lake. Winter season has us acting like gym rats and hitting the slopes when we can.
the one thing every working mom has to have… is quality 'me' time. Working full time while being a wife and a mom to three young kids makes me realize how precious alone time really is. I strive for an hour a day of exercise, although sometimes I can only squeeze in a 6am tenminute walk with the dog. I cherish those quiet moments and it gives me time to clear my head before the craziness of the day sets in.
i never thought i would be that mom that… repeated everything my mother said to me growing up.
being a mom has taught me… to be thankful each and every day for the blessings God has given me.
my career gives me… the freedom to take a child with me to work for the day! I am very fortunate to work for a family owned and valued company that gives me the flexibility to be a mom.
the best advice i ever got…
www.onthemindsofmoms.com
‘to raise a child who is comfortable enough to leave you means you've done your job. They are not ours to keep, but to teach how to soar on their own.’ [Author Unknown]. Unfortunately, I only get to keep my children within arms’ reach for 18 years. I want to raise them to be kind, hard-working people so they succeed in the 60+ years they have ahead of them.
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on the minds of moms | december • january twenty sixteen-seventeen
Healthy Friendships Become
Life Long Relationships Thank You for Five Years of Togetherness and Wellness
A
ngie Kuznia and her Stephen, MN, high-school sweetheart, Jayson, have been married for 21 years. For the first ten years of their marriage Angie stayed home with the couple’s three kiddos, Tanner [21], Taylor [18], and Greta [16],
while teaching aerobics on the side. In 2002 the Kuznias decided to build a home for their family. “I have always had a passion for design, so I decided I would design the plan and build it,” Angie says. “I enjoyed the process so much that I decided to form Titan Homes and built the first model home in 2005.” The model sold immediately in spite of a slowing housing market at the time. Angie attributes her early success to her unique approach to design at the time that included www.onthemindsofmoms.com
mudrooms with lockers and message centers, white trim and white interior doors, and many other details that people were not seeing anywhere else in town. In 2012 Jayson left the mechanical engineering field to join Angie at Titan Homes, which now also includes two designers on staff. Angie also has her real estate license and works with Chase Realty. Away from construction and real estate you can find Angie completing her latest craft project, cooking new recipes, baking sweet treats, gardening, and spending time with family.
photos: karianna photography | kari breker
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on the minds of moms | december • january twenty sixteen-seventeen
angie kuznia titan homes inc.
how did you choose the name titan homes? I was trying to find something that sounded successful. This name just stuck in my mind.
what do you enjoy most about your career? All of the people I get to work with, from the subcontractors to the customer. It is so exciting seeing a project come together.
what changes have you seen in your craft? The market is ever-changing. The biggest change I see since we began is that people have more options to look at to get what they want. Pinterest, Houzz, Instagram all offer great ideas. Most people come in with a clear vision of what they are looking for.
mom preneur
have gotten feedback from past clients and they describe us as a joy to work with that made the building process easy.
how unique is it for a woman to own a construction business? It is incredibly unique. When I started, there were very few, if any, other women in leadership positions in the Fargo-area construction industry.
what qualities do you hope your children see in you through your work? I hope my children, especially my two girls, see that anyone can do anything when you put your mind to it and work hard.
what are some of your favorite features to add to a home? My trademark has always been the mudroom area. I started with lockers and message centers from the beginning. As a busy mom myself I knew what an important area of the home this is. It offers so much organization. Also, every plan I design, I design as if I were moving into it myself. Our plans make sense.
what has been your focus as you have grown your business?
www.onthemindsofmoms.com
My focus has been to keep up to date with new ideas and incorporate them into our homes. Also, we are very customer focused. Most of our business growth has been from referrals of previous customers. We work hard to ensure that the customers’ needs are met and that they are completely satisfied with their home. We also have the plan and numbers all figured out up front so they are not dealing with constant add-ons throughout the build. Lastly, our build time is four months and we rarely have ever pushed out a closing date. This sets us apart from our competition. We are very organized through the entire process so everyone is on the same page.
how would your clients describe titan homes? We are very hands on, honest, and organized. We december • january twenty sixteen-seventeen | on the minds of moms
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mompreneur what is the biggest compliment a client can give your team? Referring us to their family and friends.
how would you describe titan homes’ design style? Our design style is very family friendly. We don’t limit our style to contemporary or traditional or other styles like that. We like to focus on the family and what is important to a busy and active lifestyle.
what is the best part of being a mompreneur? There are several. The first is being able to set my own hours and schedule. This allowed me to be able to work around my kids’ schedule so that I could be at home before they left for school and home after school. When times get really busy, I can work from home and still be around to support my family. The second is having a real sense of accomplishment. I can see my company grow and take great satisfaction in knowing that I started this from the ground up.
what is the hardest part of being a mompreneur?
work and family. Owning your own business means that there is always something to do. Likewise having a family means that there is always something to do. Keeping the balance is all about time management.
what mompreneur lesson have you learned that every mom starting a business should know? Don’t be afraid to ask questions and don’t be afraid to make mistakes. As long as you are honest and hardworking, things seem to come together.
701.793.6917 4631 40th Ave S, Fargo info@titanhomesonline.com www.titanhomesonline.com
The hardest part of being a mompreneur is balancing
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on the minds of moms | december • january twenty sixteen-seventeen
701-280-9545 800-766-9321 www.pathinc.org
3
december events
KID QUEST: Cut + Press www.plainsart.org Cut, ink, press, and rub your own collagraph print alongside artists in the Hannaher’s Print Studio at the Plains Art Museum [704 1st Av N, Fargo], 1pm-4pm! Experiment with surface levels and textures through this unique printmaking process. This event is free and open to the public.
3, 4, 7-11, 14-18, 21-23 1-31
Lindenwood Park Lights www.fmsertoma.com Drive through Lindenwood Park [1905 Roger Maris Dr, Fargo] and view holiday-light displays sponsored by local businesses from 5:30-10pm. $6 per car, $5 with canned good, and $10 for buses or limos.
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Christmas on the Prairie 701.282.2822 www.bonanzaville.org Enjoy beautifully decorated Bonanzaville and cookie decorating, Christmas carolers, horse-drawn wagon rides, music, desserts, and photos with Santa. 10am-5pm.
Santa Village @ Rheault Farm 701.499.7788 www.fargoparks.com
Santa & Mrs. Claus take over the village at Rheault Farm [2902 25th St S, Fargo] with elves, live reindeer & sleigh rides! December 3 & 4 1pm-7pm, 7-9 4pm-7pm, 10 & 11 1pm-8pm, 14-16 4pm-7pm, 17 & 18 1pm-8pm, 21 & 22 4pm-8pm, and 23 1pm-8pm. FREE admission with canned goods, toy, or cash donation.
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Mr. Claus Class 701.499.7788 www.fargoparks.com Calling ages 4-10 to RDJ Rec Center [1104 2nd Ave S, Fargo], 6:30pm-8pm, interested in making a gift for dad, uncle, or grandpa. By the end of class you’ll have a special Christmas gift to share. $15 fee and be sure to register by December 5.
December 8 at 11 a.m. Ramada Plaza & Suites, Fargo Advance tickets: $20 At the door: $25 Enjoy hot, delicious, bottomless bowls of soup from local restaurants.
www.onthemindsofmoms.com
Keep the bowl as a reminder of your support!
marchofdimes.org/bowlsfargo Stephanie Chimeziri 701.552.9181 schimeziri@marchofdimes.org 20
on the minds of moms | december • january twenty sixteen-seventeen
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Gingerbread & Jingle Bells 701.232.6102 www.childrensmuseum-yunker.org Head to The Children's Museum at Yunker Farm [1201 28th Av N, Fargo], 10am-5pm, for some Holiday fun with Santa’s Elves. Members free, Non-Members $5.
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Kids Healthy Cooking: Santa Pancakes 701.234.2400 www.familywellnessfargo.org Come make a special Holiday breakfast at Family Wellness [2960 Seter Parkway, Fargo], 10am-11am! We will prepare whole-grain pancakes with adorable Santa faces made from strawberries and whipped cream! $10 Members, $18 Non-Members. Ages 5+ [ages 5-7 need to be accompanied by an adult; up to 2 kids per adult]
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FAMILY FUN WORKSHOP: Print + Give Workshop www.plainsart.org Prepare for gift-giving season at this Print + Give family workshop at the Plains Art Museum [704 1st Av N, Fargo], 1pm-3:30pm! Join Amanda Heidt in the Hannaher’s Print Studio and print your own inspired wrapping paper and cards for the holiday season. For families & art explorers of all ages,
$10 per participant. Registration covers the cost of printing up to five cards and one 3ft x 3ft square of wrapping paper.
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Skate with Santa www.wfparks.org Grab your skates and head to Veterans Memorial Arena [1201 7th Av E, West Fargo], 7pm-8pm, and see how Santa is doing while skating to Christmas music during this fun and FREE event! Enjoy a free refreshment during this fun event. Skate rental is not available.
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Mrs. Claus Class 701.499.7788 www.fargoparks.com Calling ages 4-10 to RDJ Rec Center [1104 2nd Ave S, Fargo], 6:30pm-8pm, interested in making a gift for mom, aunt, or grandma. By the end of class you’ll have a special Christmas gift to share. $15 fee and be sure to register by December 8.
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Photo Manipulation www.plainsart.org Take a simple black and white portrait to the next level by collaging your portrait on colorful background at the Plains Art Museum [704 1st Av N, Fargo], 4pm-5:30pm! Inspired by the artwork of Jodi Webster, we will learn how the addition of colored
drawing to black and white photography can turn your photographs into unique art. $24 non-member, $19 museum members.
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Wreath Making 701.499.7788 www.fargoparks.com Create a seasonal wreath at Courts Plus Community Fitness [3491 University Dr S, Fargo], 6pm-8pm, using various materials. For ages 8-teens, you will learn the basics before making your unique wreath. All supplies provided. $15 fee and be sure to register by December 10.
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Gingerbread Houses 701.476.5978 www.fargolibrary.org Teens [ages 11-18] can decorate and eat their own gingerbread house in the Fargo Library annual gingerbread house program! 4pm-5pm at the Dr. James Carlson Library [2801 32nd Av S, Fargo] on the 13th or the Northport Library [2714 Broadway N, Fargo] on the 15th. All materials will be provided. Pre-registration is required. Registration opens December 1.
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MOMS Café www.facebook.com/MomsClubFargo momscluboffm@gmail.com Come to the First Congregational Church of
O
Holiday Parents’ Night Out 701.293.9622 www.ymcacassclay.org The Y wants to help ease your holiday worries by offering you a night out, kid free! While you’re away your kiddos, ages 6 weeks-11 years, will enjoy Christmasthemed games in the gym, have access to our Xerzone and Kids’ Gym, and be able to enjoy our Playstation at the Fercho Y [400 1st Av S, Fargo], 5pm-8pm! Y Members $15 for first child, $10 additional, non-members $25 for first child, $15 additional. Register online or call.
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Winter Wonderland www.wfparks.org Come hang out with Santa and Mrs. Claus during this fun FREE event at the Rustad Recreation Center [601 26th Av E, West Fargo], 2:30pm-4:30pm! Santa’s Elves will be on hand helping participants make cards to send to area Veterans, complete a craft project, and serving Hot Chocolate and
december events
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Pottery on the Wheel: Unbound the Round www.plainsart.org Not all bowls and plates are round. After throwing a pot on the wheel, participants will be encouraged to squish, pinch, toss, trim, and tweak their creation into various shapes at the Plains Art Museum [704 1st Av N, Fargo], 4pm-6pm! $24 non-member, $19 museum members.
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Camp Snow Day! 701.234.2400 www.familywellnessfargo.org School’s out so let’s heat up your winter break this year at Family Wellness [2960 Seter Parkway, Fargo] with a week-long, full-day camp for kids. Winter camp will provide kids [ages 6-11] with high-energy activities, arts and crafts, and even the chance to splash in the pool! Every day is a spectacular snow day at Family Wellness! $175 Members/ $195 Non-Members.
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LEGO Design Contest 701.476.5978 www.fargolibrary.org Kiddos ages 3-12 head to the Main Library [102 3r St N, Fargo] and show off your LEGO designs. Entries will be accepted between 2pm-3pm, and the judges will announce the winners at 4pm. Prizes will be awarded in different age groups. For contest guidelines and more details, visit online. Guidelines and details will be available starting December 1.
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New Year’s Eve Party @ the Y 701.293.9622 www.ymcacassclay.org Enjoy fitness activities, fun themes, wacky games, healthy snacks & family fun, 1pm2:30pm at the Fercho Y [400 1st Av S, Fargo]! FREE & open to the public!
BLIC S C
OO LS
FA R G
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cookies. Other activities will include face painting, inflatable games, and sleigh rides. Thank you to the WF VFW and Auxiliary for sponsoring this event!
H
PU
Fargo [1101 17th Av S, Fargo], 10am-11:30am for the monthly meeting for MOMS Club of Fargo/Moorhead IR, ND. Enjoy time with other moms, snacks, playtime for children and an opportunity to learn more about the club. This event is free and open to moms and children in the Fargo/Moorhead area.
www.onthemindsofmoms.com
As evidence of Fargo Public Schools’ commitment to our families and community patrons, we offer the 2015-16 Annual Report, so you may learn more about the students, staff, programs, and results achieved by our District. Thank you for your continued support as we serve the citizens of Fargo by providing its students an excellent educational experience. Access the full document at www.fargo.k12.nd.us/AnnualReport
december • january twenty sixteen-seventeen | on the minds of moms
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january events 5
Architecture and Light www.plainsart.org Explore how architects use engineering and math to create buildings and models at the Plains Art Museum [704 1st Av N, Fargo], 4pm-5:30pm! Drawing from Don Falkner’s Architecture in Clay exhibit, plan, design and build a clay architectural luminary out of air-dry clay. Light up your building with an LED light. $24 non-member, $19 museum members.
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KID QUEST: Our Town www.plainsart.org
Test your imagination to its limits at the Plains Art Museum [704 1st Av N, Fargo], 4pm-5:30pm! After blowing ink on canvas to create curved and jagged lines, we will search for animals and figures in our lines and then highlight them with paint. $24 non-member, $19 museum members.
12 & 13
Little Squirt Science 701.241.1495 www.fargolibrary.org Preschoolers ages 3-5 are invited to learn about their world & science at this event geared just for them. Science activities and stories will provide a little knowledge and a lot of fun for youngsters! 11am at the Dr. James Carlson Library [2801 32nd Av S, Fargo] or 6:30pm at the Main Library [102 3rd St N, Fargo] on the 12th or 11am at the Main Library on the 13th. All materials provided. Space is limited; pre-registration is required. Register online or call for details.
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A New Year’s Barnyard Quest 701.277.9240 www.redriverzoo.org Parents go enjoy a night out while your kids [ages 3-12 & must be potty trained]
www.onthemindsofmoms.com
Explore the architecture of the Museum and ceramic models in the exhibition Architecture in Clay at the Plains Art Museum [704 1st Av N, Fargo], 1pm-4pm! Imagine and build your own community using clay, then work together to create a collaborative city out of wood and clay. This event is free and open to the public.
Blown Away by Abstraction www.plainsart.org
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on the minds of moms | december • january twenty sixteen-seventeen
come celebrate the new year with our farm friends at the Red River Zoo [4255 23rd Av S, Fargo] starting at 6pm. Sheep with four horns, chickens with crazy feathers and cows of all sizes. It’s a celebration every day at the New Children’s Zoo Farm. Children will go on a quest to see rare barnyard animals that are getting harder to find. Adventures take energy, so a light snack will be provided. Pickup is any time before 9:30pm. Members $20 first child, $10 each additional child, Non-Members $30 first child, $15 each additional child. This is a consistently SOLD-OUT event, so pre-registration is required.
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Muffins & Juice with Mother Goose 701.232.6102 www.childrensmuseum-yunker.org Head to The Children's Museum at Yunker Farm [1201 28th Av N, Fargo], 10am-5pm, and spend some time with Mother Goose. Members free, Non-Members $5.
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FAMILY FUN WORKSHOP: Family Clay Day www.plainsart.org Parents, kids, grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins! Come enjoy an evening together creating with clay and learn about youth and family programs at Plains Art Museum
[704 1st Av N, Fargo], 1pm-3:30pm! Students will use the pinch-pot method of handbuilding to create a piggy bank and then will personalize the bank with hats, clothes and accessories. For families & art explorers of all ages, $10 per participant. Registration covers the cost of creating, glazing, and firing of up to two objects.
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Blizzard Bash www.fargoparks.com Head to Scheels Arena [5225 31st Av S, Fargo], 1pm-5pm, for a free event complete with a matinee movie, open skate, & much more! Pepsi products and popcorn will be provided while supplies last.
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In Their Shoes 701.365.8868 www.tntkidsfitness.org Spend an inspiring evening supporting the 8th Annual ‘In Their Shoes’ event. Help bring awareness and support to All Children with All Abilities in our community. The event features live and silent auction, special guests, wine-and-gift-card pull.
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MOMS Café momscluboffm@gmail.com www.facebook.com/MomsClubFargo Come to the First Congregational Church of
Fargo [1101 17th Av S, Fargo], 10am-11:30am, for the monthly meeting for MOMS Club of Fargo/Moorhead IR, ND. Enjoy time with other moms, snacks, playtime for children and an opportunity to learn more about the club. This event is free and open to moms and children in the Fargo/Moorhead area.
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WF Best Chili Cook Off www.wfparks.org Do you think you have the best chili in West Fargo? Fill a crock pot full of your secret recipe and see how it stands up to others’ in town! Registration starts at 2:30pm with Judging starting at 4pm. This fun event is hosted by the WF VFW and is followed by an evening of fun, including BINGO and a live band. You must be 21+ to attend and participate in this event.
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Fargo Force 701.356.7656 www.fargoforce.com It’s Hometown Heroes Night at the rink! The team will wear custom military jerseys that will be auctioned off live following the game with all proceeds directly benefitting a local hometown-hero project. Come on out and support the Force and our Hometown Heroes.
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Pottery on the Wheel: Super Bowl Soup Bowls www.plainsart.org January is a month of new beginnings, wintery fun, and, of course, the Super Bowl! Head to the Plains Art Museum [704 1st Av N, Fargo], 4pm-6pm and celebrate January and keep warm in the midst of winter with a super bowl soup bowl. $24 non-member, $19 museum members.
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A Team-Up Quest 701.277.9240 www.redriverzoo.org Parents go enjoy a night out while your kids [ages 3-12 & must be potty trained] learn about a pack of wolves, a town of prairie dogs, a scurry of squirrels at the Red River Zoo [4255 23rd Av S, Fargo] starting at 6pm! Working together as a team makes everything easier. Come learn about ways animals work together and communicate to complete difficult tasks. Children will go on a quest to see which animals work together to hunt, make
homes, and take care of their families. Adventures take energy, so a light snack will be provided. Pickup is any time before 9:30pm. Members $20 first child, $10 each additional child, Non-Members $30 first child, $15 each additional child. This is a consistently SOLD-OUT event, so pre-registration is required.
january events
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Frostival www.frostival.com Embrace the cool of winter with 3 days of outdoor events such as snow golf, kickball, cardboard-sled races & familyfriendly events.
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Create some winter magic by bringing the whole family out to this semi-formal dance affair at the Avalon Events Center [2525 9th Av S, Fargo], 6:30pm-9pm. Let it snow outside while you dance the night away at this fantasy land. The evening will consist of music, dancing, and refreshments. A professional photographer will be available to take your family photos.
Crazy Hair Day 701.232.6102 www.childrensmuseum-yunker.org Head to The Children's Museum at Yunker Farm [1201 28th Av N, Fargo], 10am-5pm, and find some crazy hair characters and create your own crazy hair. Members free, Non-Members $5.
Frozen Fantasy www.fargoparks.com
All event listings displayed within OTMOM are carefully selected to provide diverse options for families. More events found online at www.onthemindsofmoms.com/event-calendar. It is always a good idea to call ahead to confirm the information provided. Although it is not possible to list every event happening in the FM area, we encourage organizations to submit events for consideration to events@onthemindsofmoms.com
WHERE TRADITION AND EXCELLENCE GO HAND IN HAND We are a community that inspires excellence through faith, learning, and service. www.onthemindsofmoms.com
3 yr old Little Deacons - 12th Grade For information or a tour call 701-893-3271 jp2schools.org HOLY SPIRIT ELEMENTARY
NATIVITY ELEMENTARY
SULLIVAN MIDDLE SCHOOL
TRINITY ELEMENTARY
SHANLEY HIGH SCHOOL
jp2schools.org december • january twenty sixteen-seventeen | on the minds of moms
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quick & easy
chicken wild rice soup
food for thought
shared by | kari klingsporn hitterdal
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his recipe makes me so happy every time I make it! It tastes like it’s been cooking all day, but really it can be ready to eat in the time it takes the rice to cook. Its versatility makes it a nice break from traditional holiday fare, an easy weeknight meal, or an excellent addition to a holiday buffet. Using precut vegetables available in the produce department, precooked and chopped chicken from the deli, and faster-cooking soup-grade wild rice shaves off precious minutes spent preparing this quick and easy chicken wild rice soup.
you need:
how to:
1–2 cups prepared wild rice, cooked according to directions on package [use soup- grade rice-it cooks in less time than regular wild rice] 4 cups chicken stock 2 Tablespoons extra virgin olive oil 2 cups chopped white onion 1 cup [2-4 stalks] chopped celery 8 ounces sliced mushrooms 1 cup shredded carrot 1 large clove garlic, minced 3/4 pound cooked chicken, roughly chopped or shredded [I buy rotisserie chicken that has been taken off the bone, skinned, chopped, and is ready to go from the deli case at the supermarket] 4 Tablespoons butter 1/2 cup flour 3/4 - 1 cup half and half 1 teaspoon salt 1/2 teaspoon white pepper 1/2 - 1 teaspoon curry powder 1 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper 1/2 cup sliced toasted almonds [optional]
Heat oil in large pot over medium high. Sauté onion, carrot, mushrooms, and celery until softened. Add garlic and sauté until fragrant - about one minute. Add flour and stir well to coat the vegetable mixture. Add butter and allow to melt, again coating the vegetables well. Add chicken stock and let come to a simmer, allowing the broth to thicken slightly. Add salt, white pepper, black pepper, curry powder, wild rice, and chicken. Cook until chicken is heated through. Turn heat to low and add half and half. Do not let soup simmer again once the half and half is added. Adjust seasonings to taste. Garnish with toasted almonds if desired. Kari's passion for food, family, and fun has been with her since her upbringing on her beloved Big Floyd Lake near Detroit Lakes, MN. She earned Secondary Education degrees in both Social Studies and English from Concordia College in Moorhead, MN. She enjoyed a brief stint as a caterer and cooking instructor, but has proudly spent most of her motherhood as a stay-at-home mom. Her husband, Brent, and three children, Gunnar, Ava, and Ella, have all [mostly] been eager taste testers to whatever is on the table for dinner. However, these days, having a high schooler, a middle schooler, and a second grader is providing new challenges of feeding everyone homemade and healthy meals, as well as giving her oven an intense workout most weeknights!
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michelle warren photography
expressions by ashton photography
caitlin killoran photography rialee photography
michelle warren photography
exposures by j. linnea
caitlin killoran photography
rialee photography
expressions by by ashton photography expressions ashton photography exposures by j. linnea
gettin’ through it
making holidays happy… amidst sensory abundance story by | sarah meinhardt
www.onthemindsofmoms.com
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oliday traditions include a plethora of sensory and emotional experiences. Parties, winter winds, snow piles, savory hot-cooked meals, decadent deserts, seasonal music and performances, gift giving and receiving…the list goes on and on. No matter the season, in nanoseconds our ever-working brain absorbs information, analyzes it, and relays response instructions back to the body. Usually the sensory experience is pleasant and nonthreatening. Ah, the thought of fresh baked cookies or homemade chicken soup makes me feel the yummy in my tummy. When it’s not a pleasant or 28
on the minds of moms | december • january twenty sixteen-seventeen
non-threatening situation, our immediate reactions are usually appropriate. With icy roads we need to diverge from our normal path and to think about the route to work. Or a fire in the kitchen means get to safety fast and call 911! This message system is called Sensory Integration, or Sensory Processing. We all have this mechanism, as well as variances in how we interpret and respond to sensory experiences. Some of our senses may be particularly well developed and others less developed. For example, a person can have extremely acute taste receptors and identify every ingredient in a recipe
gettin’ through it never before tasted. This same person can have a poor sense of his body in space, or his body in relationship to objects. So he’s a fabulous chef, but strikes out every time at bat. This is fine, but what happens when our sensory receptors elicit more than a strike out and reach troublesome status? sensory processing disorder When the processing of sensory experiences leads to disruptive behaviors, it’s called a sensory processing disorder. We can have a sensory processing disorder and have the ability to engage in socially appropriate manners. However, when the sensory processing disorder erupts in challenges for the individual, and thenceforth everyone around him, that’s when the sensory processing disorder becomes an urgent issue of concern. Holidays can be very hard on families of a child with a sensory processing disorder that includes strong behavioral responses. Frequently a child with strong sensory aversions has a full meltdown and needs to be removed from the room where all are gathered. Unfortunately, friends and relatives rarely understand the specific event or the magnitude of daily stress parents endure. holiday eating problems Picky eating can be problematic and can be a sensory processing disorder rather than normal childhood power struggles. With the holidays and all the festivities, extensive restrictions of what a child will eat can create a difficult quandary. After all, our social world
1st visit
recommended
at
1
year
of age!
revolves around eating! A child’s refusal to eat anything but chicken nuggets [or whatever food it may be] and there are no chicken nuggets to eat at the event can result in a tired, irritable child. This may lead to one of those embarrassing and frustrating meltdowns, along with raised eyebrows and frowns of judgmental relatives or friends. So what’s a parent to do? This not only affects the child who’s dealing with a world where our awesome sensory wonders are actually painful, but it affects the whole family and all in the social environment. There are many options for your child to learn self-regulation, but it takes time. The holidays are upon us and there’s not much immediate time. The options that may work for you and your child need to be carefully thought out, planned for action, and implemented. But even now, you can take one small step by one small step. Change is an evolution, and it can feel like a revolution! Assess for what works and what doesn’t, read, and learn to understand your child more. Recruit support from professionals, your spouse, and those who care about you and your child. At your child’s level of development, involve him in learning the “skills” needed to acquire a sense of peace and control. The techniques learned and used to help your child require a lifestyle change, in essence. They need to become part of your daily regimen. The following are things you can incorporate with your child to help him with a food sensory processing disorder. move it move it The most effective evidence-based calming “tool” is
Comprehensive dental care for infants, children, and adolescents.
Dr. Chad Hoge, Diplomate,
American Board of Pediatric Dentistry
FARGO OFFICE
701-478-5439
4265 45th St S, Ste 202
Dr. Mikala Hoge,
GRAND FORKS OFFICE
American Board of Pediatric Dentistry
3990 S Columbia Rd
Diplomate,
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Dakota Pediatric Dentistry, P.C. w w w. d a k o t a p e d i a t r i c d e n t i s t r y . c o m
701-746-1400
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gettin’ through it exercise. Understandably, commanding your child to “exercise” during a fit isn’t going to calm him. During these episodes usually time alone, somewhere safe and supervised, is needed. Exercise completed daily detoxifies us of the stress chemicals in our body that lead to anxiety, anger, and explosive responses to aversive sensory experiences. In occupational therapy we call this “heavy work.” For children, we make this play that incorporates lots of physical movement. Integrate exercise/physical play when your child is most cooperative and energetic. The exercise can be building a snowman, or running and sliding in the snow, or making snow angels. Outdoor air and sunshine as many days of the week as possible has added value. Plan outdoor activities for at least 20 minutes at a time when possible. However, any amount helps. When outdoor play isn’t permissive, turn on music and jump and dance, or roll and wrestle on the floor. Rolling up tightly in blankets and plopping on pillows and couch cushions can help physiologically “nourish” the child seeking impacts and constant fidgeting and touching of everything. Walking around with a
PARK CHRISTIAN SCHOOL
Kindergarten Round-ups A hands on event for children and their parents
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PARK CHRISTIAN SCHOOL
Come meet our early learning experts. Mrs. Leedahl & Mrs. Ryding
Thursday, January 19 and Tuesdays, February 28 and March 21
5:00 - 6:00 pm RSVP at
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on the minds of moms | december • january twenty sixteen-seventeen
backpack weighted with books or cans of soup can be a constructive indoor play activity. Pretend to go to grandma’s house, hiking, or hunting, carrying no more than 10% of your child’s body weight initially in order to systematically build postural strength and not create poor body mechanics or injury. Increase the weight by a few ounces every week or two, again to develop strong, upright posturing. Overloaded backpacks can lead to rounded shoulders and hunched backs. This hinders the development of diaphragmatic breath support. Proper breathing is important. Pushing items works well, too. Again, encourage the physical activity for or at least 20 minutes, daily, when possible. in & out Chest breathing is a response of anxiety. Deep belly breathing actually stimulates our happy and calming brain chemicals. At least 90% of serotonin [our happy and calming biochemical] is produced in our guts. Deep breathing is scientifically proven to aid in calming and is also proven to aid digestion. It increases the hydrochloric acid necessary to break down food particles and aid in nutrient absorption. Saying a prayer of gratitude is a great way to encourage deep breathing before a meal. The whole family can raise their arms overhead to help stretch their cores for deep breaths to improve and encourage a sense of relaxation prior to digging in. keeping it down Children with feeding aversions often have digestion and elimination issues. When I began chemotherapy for cancer, one of the first things advised was to never eat my favorite foods until I knew I wasn’t going to regurgitate. Once a food is upchucked, you’ll never want to eat it again. How sad to destroy one of the luxuries of life! This was an enlightening discovery. I could name foods I had once liked and didn’t know why I didn’t like them anymore, only to remember the flu followed eating those foods. How many of our children with problematic eating spat up the foods due to gastric reflux as a baby, or a hyper-sensitive gag response when they were just beginning to take solids, and the well-intended parent or care-giver continued to present those foods at many feedings? Not so good. dietary concerns How do we reduce or avoid sugar when holiday feasting includes a plentitude of cookies and candy? Certainly this isn’t the time to deny your child of such sweetness. Instead of refusing, provide nutrient-dense foods in any way your child will consume them. Try masking
gettin’ through it nutrient-dense vegetables and protein in smoothies, casseroles, juices, and soups. Bake cookies, pie, or cake just prior to serving the main meal so the sweet aroma can overtake the scents of broccoli or other foods of dislike. You can also promise a small piece of desert for every bite of nutritious food. Begin the meal with an appetizer of roasted carrots, broccoli, or green beans with butter, a favorite dip, or guacamole or avocado slices for essential fatty acids. Keep the portion small to not overwhelm your child. One half of a baby carrot or green bean may appear doable. A whole one or quarter-cup serving may be met with absolute defiance. explore Practice sensory exploration and observation of foods outside of meal time or at the beginning of the meal. Talk about the shapes of foods, the colors, and the smells. Let your child touch the food with his fingers and talk about the textures. Touch receptors of our fingers are much like the touch receptors within our mouths. When learning to touch the foods with their fingers, children gain confidence and fortitude to touch them with their lips, teeth, tongues, and then eventually to bring them into their mouths and possibly chew them. Allow your child to spit out the food instead of insisting he swallow the newly received food from the get-go. Obviously, these are activities to do in the privacy of your home or in “Food School” with Great Kids Therapy or another feeding program. Arriving at this level of intake of the food can take weeks. For the child to at least allow it on his plate by your next holiday gathering may be a huge accomplishment.
sleep on it With a regimen of intense exercise, nutrient dense food intake, including essential fatty acids, fiber, healthy carbs, and water, sound and restorative sleep often follows. Ample sleep is as crucial as any of the above suggestions for mood stability, learning, and raised threshold of responses to those elements to which your child may be especially sensitive. “Sleep hygiene,” as it’s called today, incudes a routine for preparing for bed. Turn off screens and darken the lighting two hours before bedtime. Be mindful of how much time a nice warm bath, flossing and brushing your child’s teeth, donning PJs, cuddling/massage, talking, and reading stories takes to bring your child to a sleepy state. Allow for this time every evening as part of the routine, to minimize resistance, overtiredness and stress. If you have concerns about your child’s sensory processing, please contact us at Great Kids Therapy [www. greatkidstherapy.com or 701.205.4194] and schedule a free screening today for occupational therapy and/or speech therapy! We focus on overcoming obstacles so your child’s individual strengths shine through. Sarah is the founder of Great Kids Therapy and the clinic’s director of Occupational Therapy. She has 35 years of experience as an Occupational Therapist with a specialization in pediatrics for over 28 years, including 6 advanced certifications and around 2,000 hours of continuing education. Sarah has clinical experience in a variety of pediatric settings such as: neonatal intensive care, private practice early intervention, mainstream preschool and elementary education, developmental centers [non-inclusion charter schools for disabled children], and outpatient hospital treatment. Sarah is a cancer survivor, an exercise and healthy eating enthusiast, as well as a wife and mother of three children.
NEW YEAR. N E W CO N FI D E N C E . THERE ’ S NO BE T TER TIME TO LO O K A N D FE E L YO U R B E S T.
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At Altaire Medical Spa, we believe that true beauty begins within. We can help bring out your natural radiance with our full selection of professional spa services and state-of-the-art products. Our certified team is dedicated to helping you enhance your natural beaut y so you’ll feel fresh, confident and ready to take on a brand new year. STOP IN TODAY AND RECEIVE 10% OFF SERVICES DURING YOUR FIRST VISIT!
5257 27 th Street South Fargo, ND 58104 info@altairemedspa.com 701.356.5503 A LTA I R E M E D S PA . C O M
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did you know
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how a new treatment can restore your feminine health 32
on the minds of moms | december • january twenty sixteen-seventeen
did you know story by | tamra schue-garberg, dnp/fnp-c
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here’s a health issue affecting women across the world. It’s impacting their confidence, their intimacy, and their day-to-day functions. I’ve seen it leave them feeling inadequate, frustrated, and even ashamed, like they’re less of a woman than they used to be. It’s a heartbreaking problem that’s unfortunately common: decrease in pelvic floor health. If you identify with this issue, you’re not alone. Up to 50% of women suffer from some form of urinary incontinence. Up to 30% of young adults even report urinary issues. Vaginal atrophy can often be the cause of urinary issues like incontinence and infections. Over 53 million women in the United States alone report suffering from vaginal atrophy—the thinning, drying, and inflammation of the vaginal walls due to a decrease in estrogen. It’s my passion to help women look and feel healthy and confident, both inside and out. That’s why I’m so excited to share with you a life-changing new treatment that won’t just relieve the symptoms you suffer from every day, but can COMPLETELY restore your feminine health. We’re now offering this treatment to women throughout our community at Altaire Medical Spa, and it’s already provided many people with results they never imagined they’d experience. It’s our brand new diVa™ laser treatment. what is diVa? diVa is a laser treatment that’s unlike any other. It
Dr. Jennifer Sabourin
uses the world’s first and only revolutionary Hybrid Fractional Laser [HFL] technology, which delivers two laser therapies at once to deeply and safely resurface your vaginal tissue. And the best part? It’s quick, comfortable, and involves absolutely no downtime, which makes it an incredibly convenient solution to your intimate challenges.
Give Yourself A Holiday Gift BRING THIS AD IN FOR A FREE CLASS STARTING IN JANUARY 2017*
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I can help with neck pain, headaches, middle back pain, rib pain, lower back pain, sciatica, pregnancy pain. I treat all ages. I use manual adjusting techniques, activator, and the drop piece. I am in network with most insurances.
diVa is a laser treatment that’s unlike any other. it uses the world’s first and only revolutionary hybrid fractional laser technology, which delivers two laser therapies at once to deeply and safely resurface your vaginal tissue
fargo.cyclebar.com 3163 Bluestem Drive Suite 106 West Fargo, ND 58078
701.232.2738 · 1411 32nd St. S. in Fargo, ND december • january twenty sixteen-seventeen | on the minds of moms
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did you know Because of this breakthrough HFL technology, I can customize the diVa treatment to address your unique needs and produce the results you desire. Altaire is proud to be the first medical spa in the upper Midwest to provide this technology to the women in our area who want to renew the feminine health they feel they’ve lost. With the diVa laser we have taken the treatment one step further. At Altaire we offer all of our laser treatments with PRP [platelet rich plasma]. This increases collagen stimulation and helps with the healing process. We also offer the O-Shot® to help with urinary incontinence and sexual dysfunction.
they said it diVa is a real treatment that helps real women. This is just some of the great feedback I’ve received from my diVa patients: “I had the diVa procedure at Altaire Medical Spa for some incontinence issues after having my two kids. The progress after my first laser treatment was very noticeable. My overall experience was great!” – T.T. “I had an adhesion that was very painful. After just one diVa treatment, I noticed it was gone.” – A.G. “I went running after my diVa treatment and for the first time since having my kids, I didn’t have to wear a pad.” – Anonymous “I am so thankful for the diVa procedure. Even after my first treatment I no longer had to wear pads in fear of urine leakage.” – B.M.
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Call Altaire Medical Spa at 701.356.5503 to schedule your diVa treatment!
who is an ideal candidate for diVa? Women of all ages may find that diVa is the solution they’re looking for, whether they’re pre- or post-menopausal. I’ve seen wonderful results in a variety of women, from those who have experienced usual aging or life events to those who have suffered from additional conditions: • stress urinary incontinence the unintentional loss of urine triggered by physical movement such as coughing, sneezing, running, or heavy lifting • vaginal childbirth stretched vaginal walls, perineum, and surrounding tissues, resulting in diminished vaginal health and function • menopause reduced estrogen production caused by aging or other life events like a hysterectomy • vaginal atrophy includes symptoms like dryness, burning, discharge, itching, urinary tract infections and incontinence • dyspareunia friction or injury that can be caused by the penetration of the vagina during sexual activity • chemotherapy often causes early menopause symptoms like vaginal dryness, tightness, and thinning why should you consider diVa? There are so many benefits to the diVa treatment. Start with the fact that each treatment only lasts three to five minutes and involves no surgery, no anesthesia, and no downtime. You can stop by during your lunch break and get back to work in no time! It’s also safe, hygienic, and comfortable, with no adverse effects. The results are proven—in recent clinical studies of over 100 women, 85% said they would recommend diVa to a friend. These are just some of the intimate health benefits diVa can provide: • Restore vaginal pH balance
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on the minds of moms | december • january twenty sixteen-seventeen
did you know • • • • •
Tighten the vaginal canal and shrink tissues Improve bladder control and reduce leaks Increase natural moisture Improve sensation Prevent recurring infections
improve your intimate health diVa can truly change the way you live. I’d love to help you feel healthier, more confident, and more feminine with just one treatment. If you’re interested in learning more about how diVa can treat your unique challenges, call 701.356.5503 to schedule consultation with me at Altaire Medical Spa. It’s time you start feeling more like YOU again.
Altaire Medical Spa 701.356.5503 5257 27th St S, Suite 1, Fargo altairemedspa.com Tamra Schue-Garberg is an ANCC [American Nurses Credentialing Center USA] board-certified doctor of nursing and family nurse practitioner specializing in cosmetic dermatology at Altaire Medical Spa. Bringing together the art and science of cosmetic dermatology, Tamra uses FDA-approved products and clinically studied noninvasive procedures to restore skin to a healthy, natura,l and radiant glow. She conducts a variety of noninvasive skin rejuvenation procedures, including the diVa laser treatment. Tamra grew up in Fargo, North Dakota, and is the mother of two girls.
There Is Life Beyond Addiction…
Hope starts here Ho
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Providing compassionate substance abuse and mental health counseling. 701.293.5429 | drakecounselingservices.com Offices in Fargo, Grand Forks & Detroit Lakes
december • january twenty sixteen-seventeen | on the minds of moms
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A
lifelong Fargo resident, Chris and his wife of 16 years, Codi, are able to field their own basketball team with their brood of five: Caleb [14], Luke [12], Jayne [10], Mark [10], and Brynn [8]. A Jamestown College Alum, Chris
worked for Gremada Industries until 2004. “Our first two kids are 17 months apart.” Chris says. “When Codi went back to work after our second child was born, we were in the walk-in clinic four times in five days with sick kids. That was the defining moment for our family, and I became a stay-at-home dad.” And the Yokums haven’t looked back. In his free time, Chris loves to hunt, ski, and do whatever his kids are into at the moment.
photos: caitlin killoran photography | caitlin killoran
chris yokom age 39, fargo.nd
rad dad
the habit i wish i could break…
success to me is..
being a “Hobby Hopper.” I am still working on mastering a cold-coffee brew, along with a mere 30 other hobby whims.
getting a match in the game Memory. When did that game get so difficult?
my kids are so lucky to…
nonstop entertainment that we don’t have to pay for. When you have five kids, most days are a party of controlled chaos!
have their best friends as their siblings. We have five kids in a six-year age range.
having five kids can best be described as…
one person i really admire…
my kids have taught me…
Guy Fieri from Diners, Drive-Ins and Dives. What a gig! Traveling across the 50 states trying out different restaurants!
how uncool I can be at times. Suggesting a sweatshirt and perhaps pants when there is snow on the ground is “uncool,” and I also don’t Dab well.
the best christmas gift i ever received… the gift of content traveling kids, allowing Codi and I the chance for adult conversation. Thank you, Santa, for the five iPads! We can now drive for hours with zero complaining, except Jayne saying as we pull into our destination, “We are here already? I have hardly played any games.”
the best word to describe adoption is… humbling. Our daughters are the perfect fit for our family, and we had absolutely nothing to do with it. It is humbling to be patient and to trust in the promise of perfection to complete your family.
people are always surprised to hear i… I didn’t have grey hair before marriage and kids [just saying].
my favorite meal is… www.onthemindsofmoms.com
any meal when we sit down and eat as a family of seven, but, that being said, a pulled pork sandwich [that I smoked on my generic Green Egg] with coleslaw over the top and sweet-potato fries may qualify as my favorite.
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rad dad
my perfect day would include…
my wife and i agree…
12 inches of fresh powder in Bozeman, MT, all five kids magically having their ski/snowboard boots on, and all five kids having themselves at the chairlift ready to get on.
that once the kids fly out of the nest, we are going to downsize. With five kids, we figure there has to be at least one kid willing to invite us over for Christmas.
the greatest invention ever made has to be…
don’t sweat the small stuff. We consider it a victory if all five kids have shoes on [not necessarily tied] when we leave the house and if we don’t arrive embarrassingly late to things hoping for seats for seven!
YouTube. With the power of YouTube I have kind of learned to play guitar, kind of fixed the noisy washing machine, kind of cooked the perfect steak, and kind of trained our dog. YouTube has given me a wealth of knowledge and enabled me to be a kind of expert in a lot of areas.
www.onthemindsofmoms.com
my best dad quality has to be… I am very good at hide and seek. Our kids hide their hats, gloves, coats, sweatshirts, water bottles, etc., at local venues. I then go and seek them out at lost-and-found tables and bins. The kids have provided me ample opportunity to perfect my skill over the years. No need to bring up that I once found my own Nike hooded sweatshirt at the Longfellow lost-and-found table.
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on the minds of moms | december • january twenty sixteen-seventeen
the best advice i can give a new dad…
being a stay-at-home dad was an easy decision because… it was the best fit for our family. It helped simplify our lives to have one of us available whenever the kids needed us. Me staying home has given us the ability to slow down and enjoy the adventure.
before becoming a dad, i never could have imagined… how amazing, joyful, and happy the world looks when you see it through the eyes of your children. This dad job is truly a better gig than Diners, Drive-Ins and Dives.
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oh, by the way
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resolutions story by | deb uglem
H
ere I am again staring down the new year for the 46th time. It always teases with promise and opportunity with its ‘sky is the limit’ attitude. There are all kinds of things I should be deciding. What is my theme for the year? What are my dreams and goals? How will I improve myself? What am I going to stand for and 40
on the minds of moms | december • january twenty sixteen-seventeen
accomplish in 2017? Well, while everyone is finalizing resolutions [way to go, by the way], I am avoiding the normal diet, exercise, and more-sleep commitments. I am flipping this new-year thing upside down and I have decided to put in writing what I am going to officially ignore or refuse to do in 2017.
oh, by the way Let’s start with simplifying my life. I bought a book about minimalism and I actually read it. I should have known I was doomed by the amount of time I spent finding a book about minimalism written by a person who literally admitted that she loved stuff. I guess you could say my heart wasn’t in it. The book talked about decluttering your home, mind, and soul. Strong advice. But I like my busy schedule of friends, family, and road trips. I love magazines filled with decorating ideas and future purchases stacked throughout my house on end tables and ottomans. And, if I’m honest, my soul overflows with happiness as I fall into bed after a hectic and way-too-busy eventful week. In short, I say to life—bring it, bring a lot of it! Also, no way am I limiting my use of social media. I have read the articles that social media gives you a warped sense of reality. I’ll tell you right now I love skimming through Facebook in the evening. I unintentionally friend people, like, and share things I probably shouldn’t, but I really enjoy being informed of milestones in my friends’ lives. Twitter has become my news source and it’s crazy how Instagram and Snapchat make me feel like I see my kids two to three times a week, even though they’re hundreds of miles away. The cool factor pushes it over the top. I totally feel hip contributing to any social media platform with memes, catchy comebacks, and hashtags. I will admit I am not great at this [yet] but, I’m working on a legendary hashtag that I am sure will be trending soon. #resolutionrefusal [okay, that needs some work!].
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At the top of my list of don’ts: I refuse to let my kids grow up. I know it’s impossible to stop, however, I can control my actions. My kids are in college and doing very well ‘adulting.’ They are happy and healthy, but
My plan this New Year’s Eve is to celebrate my new-found disregard of first-of-the-year declarations. I will ring in the new year sipping sparkling wine, listening to Auld Lang Syne, reflecting on 2016, and toasting 2017. I can’t wait to NOT get things done! Raised in Finley, ND, Deb has called the Fargo-Moorhead area her home for the last 14 years. A graduate of Drake University in Des Moines, IA, with a degree in Journalism and Mass Communications, she is currently Marketing & Communications Director for Wanzek Construction. Deb welcomes the pleasant distraction that writing brings and thanks her children, Jake [23], Tony [22], Nick [22], and Emily [20] for inspiration. Deb and her husband Tim like to spend their free time with their kids and on the golf course.
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I have officially been an adult for years, but I have decided I will not act my age in 2017. I will continue to, on occasion, stay out too late with friends and go to work tired. I will continue to buy the jeans, sweaters, and boots that reflect my style, not necessarily my age. I will laugh too loud. I know that efficient adults schedule, organize, and plan every daily detail to ensure productivity. I’m committed to not overdoing this aspect of my life. Don’t get me wrong, I understand the importance of “to-do” lists, but I will not overdo the “to-dos.” I will increase the number of childish texts with Bitmoji influence I send to my brothers and sister and continue to ask my mom and dad for help.
I have this way of not letting them ‘adult’ around me. When they are home or when I visit I slip right into mommy mode. I ask if they are hungry, need help with laundry, and if they have done their homework. I pick up their rooms and unload the dishwasher and—you want to know the kicker?—I don’t mind! So this year I will continue my motherly tasks, hug them too long, worry too much, and stare with pride and tears in my eyes as they walk into adulthood.
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body + being
be mindful… be enough
shifting There is a paradigm shift happening. The movie “Bad Why are we striving for others to see our goodness as Moms,” blogs, and posts of mothers voicing, ‘we are parents? Why can it be so painful to admit that we don’t not perfect,’ ‘we can get things “wrong” and still be want to be with our kids all the time, and that we are “good,”’ are slowly making their way into mainstream exhausted sometimes, or that we love our careers and social media. Our desire to identify with the idea of value their importance in our lives too? Why? being a “good mom” is just as strong as our ability to identify with being a “bad mom.” This is part of how our We need to look no further than Facebook and Instagram brains are wired; we only know things by comparison. to see what other moms are doing with their kids. You We are constantly walking around wondering if we know the feeling that hits your stomach or tightens your can trust our environment and others. This is rooted throat when you slowly hear the words ‘I’m not enough’ in our survival instincts. If we want to be loved and creep into your thoughts. Oftentimes social media accepted by others, then we need to do what is socially portrays an unrealistic perspective of how parenting appropriate and acceptable to others. is. These types of images share the same message: ‘life looks like this.’ The reason this is so detrimental to our Societal and cultural norms often dictate what it means ability to support each other is because we are relating to be a “good mom.” As parents we carry shame about to one another from a social comparison lens. Which our ability to parent in the best way, as well as being means we are comparing our own worth as parents mothering, which are actually two different concepts. with the projection of others. Even if that projection Our ability to parent relates to setting rules and expectais not entirely true. tions as well as guiding our children. Mothering relates
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story by | melissa dahl, ms, lpc, msctt
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body + being to our ability to nurture and care for the emotional needs of our children. Women carry both types of shame around parenting, however, mothering shame is stronger. Judgement is placed on both traits equally. My concern is that we are beginning to swing too strongly one way or the other. Our views about parenting and mothering are becoming polarized [separated into opposing groups]. Polarization can happen when there is too much pressure from one way of being. The natural alternative is to move to the entirely opposite end of the spectrum. The result may be short-term relief. It might sound something like this, “I don’t have to be a perfect parent. In fact, I can be the opposite and it’s okay.” I would like to suggest an in-between. How do we find the balance in parenting and upholding the expectations around this very tough and demanding job? be in it We start by recognizing how hard the job of parenting is; we are then being mindful. Then we recognize that all parents struggle with parenting; this is common humanity. Finally, we offer ourselves kindness and acceptance towards the challenges that parenting and mothering our children bring; this is compassion. With mindful self-compassion we can begin to take care of ourselves in the journey of parenting. When we are aware that we are struggling we can stop to ask ourselves, ‘what do I need right now’? We call this a self-compassion break. By offering ourselves what we need in our daily lives and relating to our moment-to-moment experience we
do not feel as overwhelmed about the pressures and obligations that parenting naturally brings. Why is this kind of self-care so important? Because if we do not slow down and become mindful of what is too much, we will continue to be run by external guidance and expectations. We will stop asking others for support and we will become isolated, burnt-out, and focused on the negative parts of our lives and ourselves. The lens will begin to narrow and the possible alternative to parenting will be to shut down. self-compassion Taking a mindful self-compassion break when we are struggling can offer us space to recognize what we need so that we may truly respond to the people we love. Also, we are able to relate to ourselves honestly so we may begin to say ‘no’ when things are too much and our schedules are too busy. We may also begin to recognize our own self-care needs and begin to prioritize this as important too. When it is safe enough to ask ourselves ‘what do I need right now?’ the answers we hear may surprise us. The polarization gap of “good mom” and “bad mom” can slowly be reduced when we stop placing parenting ideals as the top priority. What would happen if our top priority were to offer ourselves kindness when we are struggling and then respond to our own needs, which may be rest, unplugging, and reconnecting with our own values. We shift from an external framework to an internal understanding of what parenting means to us. We would no longer be afraid of being imperfect,
www.onthemindsofmoms.com
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body + being because we would recognize that perfection is only an ideal of the projected perfect self, deeply rooted in the desire to be accepted by others. When we move away from shaming and being critical of ourselves and our abilities to parent, then we can become more open to others’ shortcomings to mothering or parenting in a certain way all the time. We let up on the pressure, and truly begin to support one another. We need three things to do this: mindfulness, a sense of common humanity, and the ability to offer acceptance and kindness to ourselves and to one another.
mindful self-compassion course Research has shown that self-compassion greatly enhances emotional well-being. It boosts happiness, reduces anxiety and depression, and can even help maintain healthy lifestyle habits such as diet and exercise. Mindful Self-Compassion is a skill that can be learned. The eight-week Mindful Self-Compassion course facilitated by Melissa Dahl at The Center of Mindful Healing [23 4th St S, Moorhead] will help you learn to: • Practice mindfulness and self-compassion in your daily life • Handle difficult situations and emotions with greater ease • Motivate yourself with kindness rather than criticism • Transform challenging relationships • Use tools to manage caregiver fatigue • Practice the art of savoring and selfappreciation
www.onthemindsofmoms.com
The next course begins Thursday, January 5, 2017. To enroll please visit www.thecenterformindfulhealing.com or contact Melissa at melissa.dahl@thecenterformindfulhealing.com.
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Becoming polarized in our parenting is not a sustainable option. However, supporting and connecting with one another is. Rather than saying, “I would never do that,” we might begin to say, “Just like me.” Melissa Dahl, MS, LPC, MSCTT, is founder of The Center for Mindful Healing, located in downtown Moorhead. She is working towards bringing mental wellness into our community by offering classes on mindful self-compassion. As a trained teacher of mindful self-compassion Melissa believes it is becoming increasingly important that we learn to cultivate compassion skills and use them in our daily lives.
www.onthemindsofmoms.com
december • january twenty sixteen-seventeen | on the minds of moms
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just a thought
seasons of change www.onthemindsofmoms.com
story by | kathleen wrigley
I
’ve been blessed to be a stay-at-home mom for 15 years. From the day each of our three kids was born, I was fortunate to be home with them. I had the flexibility and freedom to pursue my passions through volunteering in our community, church, and the kids’ school activities. I’m incredibly lucky to have had these years, and I don’t regret any professional pursuit I’ve left aside. But like nature, life has seasons of change, cycles of patterns, phases and transitions. Sometimes, like a 46
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snow storm, change comes in terms of a challenge. And other times it’s just a natural evolution. Either way, change is inevitable and brings enormous opportunity and growth. A season of change arrived [for me] when a career opportunity opened at our kids’ school, and I decided to go for it. I’ve dreamt about a job like this. So here’s my new season: it’s a blizzard of epic proportions. I’m now the school counselor and I’m a full-time [evening] graduate student at the University of Mary, in Bismarck. Double whammy.
just a thought As challenging as this journey is, it has enlivened my spirit. I’m busier than ever, and I love it. I feel more free and stronger than I have in a long time. I’m humbled by the trust I’ve been given, and these students make me a better person. That said, this transition has proved a gigantic learning curve for our family. I’ve been at their beck and call from the womb. They’re supportive and proud and they’re stretching their arms [and sometimes stomping their feet] around our change. We’re learning and growing together. And, slowly, the kids are adapting to mom’s new season and busy schedule. I expected to feel remorse for the change I’m inflicting on my kids. But I haffta be honest. I’m surprised to admit I have zero mom-guilt. Zip. Zilch. No tears. None. I mean, there have been tears. Just not mine. They say hindsight is 20/20. I’m sharing the top five situations with you that I didn’t adequately prepare my kids for when I went back to work and school. Perhaps hearing our circumstances might help you or someone you know.
Number One: Like anything new, there’ve been lots of “firsts.” For instance, for the first time ever, I burned dinner and I wasn’t even home. Don’t get me wrong, I burn dinners frequently, but I’m usually there for it. On my first day of work, I ran home to put a fixed hot dish in the oven for my family. I know. Considerate, right? I had to run back to school for evening meetings. My husband came home from work to a house filled with smoke. The kids didn’t think to take dinner from the oven. Hello. That’s when I realized how steep our learning curve was. This was going to be a season of tremendous change. Note to self: set the timer on the oven. Number Two: We’ve had to learn to think ahead, be prepared and organized. I am in classes from 5:00-10:00 pm. I’d already been in class when Quinn [15] realized she’d left her backpack in my car. She called and texted for me to bring it home to her. She was in a panic because she had homework to finish. Unfortunately for her, and unlike the students of her generation, we’re not permitted to have cell phones out or read text messages while we’re
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just a thought in class. She had to get a ride and come find me in my class to collect her backpack. In her admittedly frustrated state, she told me how she “hates my new life.” Okay. I’m a counselor and didn’t laugh out loud, but truth be told: I giggled inside. She’s growing and learning to think ahead and be better prepared. That’s a good thing. Number Three: Harper loves seeing mommy during the day at school. She and her 3rd grade posse gather in my office every morning before heading off to the classrooms. They are generous with their sweet hugs and high fives. But if I had to start the first few days of school over again, I’d tell these cutie pies not to open my closed office door and swarm in for a hug. A closed door means I’m in a confidential meeting. Now I get little notes shoved under my door when it’s closed. I should’ve prepared for some separation-anxiety from my baby. She’s always had 100% access to her momma. It might’ve been a good idea to school her on professional etiquette.
www.onthemindsofmoms.com
Number Four: Okay I’m airing our dirty laundry here, but this love train came to a screeching halt when I told the kids they were responsible for folding and putting away their own laundry now. I laughed out loud and completely offended Patrick after he asked me, “How many more years are you gonna be working outside the house?” He told Drew his laundry’s either dirty or wrinkled because even if it’s clean it sits crumpled in a basket for
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days. I guess I didn’t fully prepare them for the extra workload they’d have to carry. Number Five: Our priorities have changed pretty significantly. We’re stretching the definition of a home-baked meal to include frozen pizzas and frozen peanut butter and jelly Uncrustables—yes, 25 seconds in the microwave absolutely counts as homemade. And a clean house is over-rated. Harper’s been using her pointer finger to practice her cursive on the layers of dust on our furniture. I call this multi-tasking. Go with the flow, people. Go with the flow. What I didn’t prepare myself for was the heartfelt, sincere support I’d receive from my family. We’re a team, and they’re my biggest cheerleaders. This season is shaping our character and stretching our comfort zones. Cheers to our season of wrinkled clothing, frozen pizzas, dusty furniture with finger-signatures, and humongously, explosive, empowered hearts. Fitness is an integral part of Kathleen’s daily routine and helps her sustain her own mental health! Kathleen’s column “ just a thought” has been a regularly occurring piece in “on the minds of moms” since 2009. Kathleen is a Philadelphia native, and has called North Dakota her second home for the last 18 years. Before becoming a mom, she was director for Bismarck’s Child Advocacy Center and was a speechwriter. Kathleen received a BS from Pennsylvania State University and completed her graduate studies at Temple University in Philadelphia. Currently, Kathleen is a graduate student at the University of Mary, pursuing a second master’s degree, this time in School Counseling.
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www.onthemindsofmoms.com
CounterTops & Memories
molly klein
story by | sheri kleinsasser stockmoe
I
t’s inevitable that life throws us curve balls, places a speed bump the size of Mt. Everest in our path, or transforms a nice straight path into a fork in the road with a decision to be made. Molly Klein’s been there. She’s made choices to swing for the fences, tackle the mountain one step at a time, and embrace the positive in each decision she’s made. For Molly it’s simple: “Nothing changes if nothing changes.”
choose your adventure photos: michelle warren photography | michelle warren
choose your adventure As the three of us sit down for the interview, there’s a burning question on Molly’s mind. “How did you come to this…to asking me to do this?” I motion to Dani, my friend and OTMOM co-founder, and she smiles and says, ”You’ve been on my radar for quite a while.” Dani has known Molly for about four years. “You’re a real woman who is just positive and motivating,” Dani explains. Molly still isn’t buying it. But over the next two hours, I get to know Molly and her story of transformation…physically, personally, and professionally. I’m totally buying it. determination This Moorhead High alum admits she has a dominant personality. “When I was younger I looked at it as a negative, like I’m this big bully or something,” Molly confesses. “But now I take a lot of pride in that. Yeah, I’m a dominant personality. I’ll get stuff done. Don’t mess with me.” And when she sets her mind to something… watch out! In December 2005 Molly decided she was going to run the half marathon. “It was the second year of the Fargo Marathon and everybody kept saying it was such a great race, so much fun…blah, blah, blah,” she remembers. “I thought, ‘Yeah, I could do that. I’m going to run the half marathon.’ Never mind the fact that I hadn’t run since high school. I’m going to run it and it’s going to be great. Wait, I’m 294 pounds? Well, I’m going to run 13 miles...watch it…it’s going to happen. I’m going to finish it.”
www.onthemindsofmoms.com
Molly started running using the Couch to 5k program. “Then I decided if I was going to put in this much time and energy, I’d better eat decently too,” she says of her effort to monitor what she ate to fuel her body. A couple months into her training, a friend asked Molly to join a local health club where she had won a membership. Molly jumped at the prospect of running inside and avoiding the wintery conditions of outside training. She would religiously follow her program, lift weights, and watch what she ate until race time in May.
remembers thinking. “When I look back at it now, there is no way I was happy. Not at all. I was so uncomfortable in my own skin. I think I had a different mental image of what I looked like compared to what I actually looked like. I don’t think I realized I was as big as I was.” Molly met her goal. She finished her half marathon in three hours. “I was pretty proud of myself,” she says
when i look back at it now, there is no way i was happy. not at all. i was so uncomfortable in my own skin.
with a smile. “And I just kept things moving forward from there.” What started as a self-imposed declaration turned into 130 pounds lost to date…and an unexpected career change. teacher to trainer Molly maintained a focus on physical activity while working as a preschool teacher and taking care of her family, which expanded to include two boys. She continued running, monitoring her diet, and taking group fitness classes at her health club.
“In five months, I lost 35 pounds. I was feeling great,” Molly says. While her initial focus wasn’t to lose weight, looking back her perspective has changed. “My first son “I need you to teach this class,” the group fitness director told Molly matter-of-factly after class one day. Molly’s comes along, and I was the heaviest I’d ever been my first thought was disbelief and a resounding N.O. “At entire life. But I had myself convinced I was happy. ‘I have a cute husband, this cute kid, friends, a good job, first I thought she was kidding,” Molly says with a laugh. The administrators at the club could see Molly’s yeah I wear a size 24, but I don’t care…it’s fine,’” Molly
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choose your adventure natural athletic ability and her sincere personality that resonated with clients. “You do know I’m a preschool teacher in real life?” Molly remembers asking. They knew, and they were serious about their offer. “I feel like things always happen for a reason,” Molly says. “When things present themselves, you have to go.”
“I did that for a couple years until the time came where I was able to pull the plug on teaching,” Molly says of the decision to go full time at Total Balance Fitness in North Fargo seven years ago. “It’s funny how, by that time, teaching had run its course anyway with some of the administrative stuff. Again, this career change was presenting itself, and I needed to look at it a little
Jeanne Kritzberger has known Molly for eight years. They first met working at the same preschool. “When Molly switched careers from teaching preschool-aged
children to becoming a personal trainer and group fitness instructor she became a happier person,” Jeanne remembers. “It was because she was doing something she loved to do. She’s worked hard to get where she is at right now.” Small chunks. That’s Molly’s advice for making a change in your life. “Moms especially spend too much time trying to be everything for everyone all the time. That doesn’t work,” Molly says. “Start here, take care of you, and then work your way out, because benefits will only happen if you take it in small chunks and work from you out. That’s what I tell people when we’re talking about nutrition or exercise, but it applies to all parts december • january twenty sixteen-seventeen | on the minds of moms
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www.onthemindsofmoms.com
So she said yes to being a group fitness instructor. The health club paid for Molly’s certification training and she began leading classes ranging from kick boxing to weight-training circuits…and she loved it. She continued teaching preschool, but also began learning more about nutrition and personal training.
harder. I could see working at the club was working the way I needed it to work so, I quit, started full time, and here I am.”
www.onthemindsofmoms.com
meant to be
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choose your adventure of life. And it’s important to remember there isn’t just one solution for a problem, there’s many. Take your time. It’s one thing at a time...small chunks.”
negative begets negative. if you’re constantly living in a world of negativity, it just feeds itself. it’s a downward spiral.
will just feed more positivity, and then those crappy situations don’t seem so bad.” Moving past her divorce, Molly and John remained friends. “I started trying to set him up with all my friends,“ she says with a laugh. “I’d tell my friends, he’s smart, he’s funny, he’s got a good job…come on!” Luckily none of those set-ups stuck and eventually Molly started seeing John through different eyes. “I think I was finally in a place where I was ready to move on,” she says of starting a relationship with John. Jeanne saw a change in her friend with this new love. “She opened up and became an even better person than she was before John,” Jeanne says. “Molly found someone in John who is very similar to her. They are both outgoing people, super funny, and enjoy having a great time. I’m glad I’m able to call them two of my best friends.”
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John describes his wife of one year as hard working, full of energy, and loyal. And what does he really admire about Molly? “Her passion for what she loves,” he says. “Whether it’s her friends, partner, children, job, coworkers a new path or clients, everyone gets her maximum amount. And “Ian’s my oldest, he’s 12. The middle one is Cooper, he just turned 12, and Cade is nine. Ian and Cade are mine, she’s tenacious. I admire that. She’ll stick to her guns [even if she knows I’m right, which was twice, for the and Cooper’s my step-son, he’s my bonus,” Molly says with a smile. “They’re crazy kids, and they’re amazing. record]. She’s stubborn for all the things she loves. She’ll go to the wall for what she believes in and she’ll Ian and Cooper are why John and I are together. They became best friends, and then John and I became friends.” be the first one to jump into the fray to defend a point, a person, or an idea.” “When I was separating and getting a divorce, he was in next level the background,” Molly says of John. “The only thing he “No! You’re insane! I’m not going to do it.” That was could do every once in a while was ask, ‘how are you Molly’s reaction when her friend, and boss, asked her doing?’ and say, ‘fix it, fix it, fix it...you guys need to fix to train with her for a fitness bodybuilding competition. it, because it’s easier to fix than tear apart.’” “Have you seen me in a bikini?” Molly remembers asking. John’s advice was from experience, being divorced “No, you haven’t, because I won’t put one on! You’re not himself, but Molly couldn’t fix it. “Getting divorced, I going to get me on stage, you’re just not!” never wanted! Are you kidding? No, I was in it to win But she kept thinking about it. Why not try? What was it,” she says. “But there was a bigger plan. Sometimes her hesitation? “I’ve always done everything naturally, you have to make those yucky choices to take the better obviously. I ran a half marathon, and I watched what I adventure road. You’ll get there, it just takes a little bit.” ate. That’s how I continued my whole entire losing 130 And you have to look for the best in all situations. pounds,” Molly says. “I just watched what I ate, and I “Negative begets negative. If you’re constantly living in figured out how to navigate and make changes to it a world of negativity, it just feeds itself. It’s a downward so it wasn’t calorie based, because as I was educated, spiral,” Molly says. “If you can just focus on being I knew that that was only going to last so long, then I positive, even in the crappiest situation, if you can pull had to shift gears.” a positive out of it, it will create an upwards spiral. It
choose your adventure Yes, the bikini was an issue and the inability to hide any troubled areas Molly was self-conscious about. “The only thing left for the areas that are problems is surgery, and I’m not interested in that. Mostly because
if you can just focus on being positive, even in the crappiest situation, if you can pull a positive out of it, it will create an upwards spiral. it will just feed more positivity, and then those crappy situations don’t
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seem so bad.
I’m a big baby, and I don’t want to be in pain,” she says with a grimace and laugh. “I don’t like ouchies, no thanks! Then I thought, ‘maybe this is the key. Maybe this is the next step up. Maybe this is what I need to clear up my stomach that has extra skin, or make my underarms a little bit better. Maybe I should just see what I can do.’” Molly decided to give it a shot. She started a training regimen under the watchful eye of a competition coach. June 20, 2015, Molly put on her bikini and took the stage.
person. If you don’t like me, then it’s probably your issue, not mine. I just took that out with me on the stage.” And being onstage wasn’t as bad as she anticipated. “I was nervous, and I was shaking,” Molly admits, “but I watched a girl down the line from me, her whole entire body was just shaking.” John assured his wife she looked cool as a cucumber. And Jeanne knew her friend would succeed. “When Molly set out with the goal of competing in bodybuilding I knew she had the strength and determination to finish what she started,” Jeanne says. “She had her struggles but she fought through them and came out a stronger person in the end.” After her competition, Molly felt great. Both physically and emotionally. And then she received the best complement from a fellow competitor. “Is this your first competition?” she asked. While Molly assumed the answer was obvious, she acknowledged it was her first and waited for an onslaught of advice, but that wasn’t the case. “You have such stage presence. You owned it. Your stage presence is amazing. You walked out there like you’ve done this a million times and it was no big deal,” the woman gushed. This was the affirmation Molly hungered for. “My jaw completely hit the floor,” Molly remembers. “I wanted to hug her so tight, but I would have gotten spray tan all over her!” “I felt great because I knew this was just the start!” Molly says of that first competition, but she also sees how focusing on herself benefits not just herself. “If I am feeling good here,” she says motioning to her heart. “Then everybody benefits. The moms who talk about, ‘I don’t have time for myself. I don’t have time for this. I can’t go do this. I can’t focus on myself,’ I think those are the people that really need to take a step back, because you aren’t going to be able to be the best you that you can be unless you’re taking care of you first. This is home base, and all these other bases out here, you can take care of them best when you’re functioning at your best. My husband will totally attest to this.”
Molly doesn’t see herself backing off on taking care of “These are small, little suits,” she says with a smile.” her body any time soon. “I think change is definitely When you have some extra skin…I was like, tuck, tuck, good. For me, I think there’s still so many different tuck…It was nerve-racking! But I was like, ‘well, here it things that I haven’t tried yet that could maybe push is.’ I always tell people I don’t care what other people those limits and push me a little further,” she says. think of me, because I really don’t. I think I’m an okay “Nothing changes if nothing changes.”
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choose your adventure Crystal Larson started working out with Molly a little over a year ago and the two quickly became close friends. “I knew she was my kind of person,” Crystal says of her friend who has taught her more than the benefits of cardio and strength training. “She lives her life in a positive manner and never stops. Not everything is rosy all the time, but she doesn’t stop and dwell on it. She accepts the moment and continues on. I think there is an incredible energy that guides Molly through her life and she doesn’t fight it. She stops and thinks to herself, ‘hmmm…well, okay, then’ and moves on to the next moment. She has tremendous faith that life will work out the way it is supposed to.” pick your path “Molly sees the value in different experiences and is not afraid to step outside of her comfort zone,” John says. “She encourages that for the kids as well. To try new experiences and to be open to new ways of thinking. To allow oneself to be vulnerable and thus broaden your horizons and become a more well-rounded individual.” “We like to read the Choose Your Own Adventure books,”
Molly says of her boys. “If you pick one path, it takes you this way. If you pick another path, it takes you this way. On this path, there’s two more choices. There’s so many different solutions to things. No choice is necessarily wrong. All of them can be right.” She’s right. Whether you choose to run a half marathon, lose 130 pounds, change careers, end a marriage, open yourself up to a new love, or step outside your box and compete in a bodybuilding competition…it’s the right choice. “I’m a firm believer in everything happens for a reason,” Molly reiterates. “Really, when I look back at what has happened in my life, it was leading me down the road that I’m supposed to head down. You have to know the road will work itself out. I think everybody can pick their own adventure. I really do.” What are you waiting for…choose your adventure! Proud mama of Seely and Shya, and wife to Van Halen super-fan Stu, Sheri is also co-founder of OTMOM. She believes in UND green, Jesus, burnt marshmallows make the best s’mores, coffee…lots and lots of coffee, she has the best mom and dad ever, and without a doubt EVERYONE has a story to share.
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disney world at any age
ready, set, grow
story by | patricia carlson
I
t’s one of the most magical places on earth, yet many of us don’t have Disney World on our “must-visit” family vacation lists. Things like cost, travel time, possible child meltdowns, and the sheer magnitude of Disney’s main park in Orlando, Florida, are often the major reasons behind a decision to avoid tackling the ‘Mouse.’ Well, we are missing out. Disney World, when planned with careful thought and consideration to your most important vacation needs, is a wonderful place to spend time with your family. Here are our most user-friendly tips, broken down by age, to help you and your kiddos enjoy Mickey Mouse and Co.
ready, set, grow
disney has four theme parks [two in the U.S., one in france, and one in china] and a cruise line
wee ones [0–18 months]
L
et’s be honest here. If you’re bringing your baby to Disney World, it’s really about you. Your little bambino ain’t gonna remember a thing about the Magic Kingdom, but you will make some memories and have the pictures to prove it in his baby book. Maybe, though, this is the first of many trips you’re hoping to make to Disney World as a new family. If that’s the case, go to Disney’s main website, www. DisneyWorld.com, and create a family account under the My Disney Experience. Enter in some basic information for everyone in your party and you’re registered to buy tickets, make reservations at resorts and restaurants, and book special events. If you’re staying at a Disney Resort, everyone will get a MagicBand [a bracelet]
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that acts as your hotel room key, park admission, and ride ticket. It also links to your credit card so anyone approved on your account [there are age restrictions] can make purchases. Basically, the MagicBand eliminates the need for you to carry room keys, ride tickets, and money so you can more easily enjoy your time at Disney. Your baby will also get his own MagicBand but doesn’t have to wear it. keep your cool If your baby still fits into a carrier like an Ergo or a sling, bring it. You will do a LOT of walking at Disney and it can get hot in an infant car seat/stroller combo. Also bring an umbrella or parasol that you can hold or attach to your stroller.
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on the minds of moms | december • january twenty sixteen-seventeen
karissaschmollcounseling.com 218-512-1144
ready, set, grow
why buy snacks when you can bring them? pack a small lunchbox filled with your favorite munchies and water and you’ll save a bundle.
tots
[18 months–3 years]
T
he best times [read: least crowded] to visit Disney World are when school is in session. Lucky for you, your tot is probably only in daycare or preschool, where attendance requirements are a bit more lax. Take advantage of this and schedule your Disney trip sometime between Thanksgiving and Christmas [Hello! Perfect present!] or in May. Trust us, you do not want to navigate any of Disney’s four theme parks [Magic Kingdom, Epcot, Disney’s Hollywood Studios, and Disney’s Animal Kingdom] with unpredictable and squirmy tots when it’s high season.
pack light Packing can be a real problem at this age. Kids require so much stuff that you may be tempted to say, ‘screw it, let’s bring it all’ to stave off any tantrums. Don’t. Stick to the basics like clothes and diapers and only pack toys that will keep them occupied on the airplane. You can also rent strollers [single and double] and reserve pack ’n plays, so no need to schlep that stuff either.
Dreams
Make sure you receive important school district information. Register your pre-kindergarten child at https://communityed.moorheadschools.org and select Community Census or call 218-284-3400.
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Constructing
ready, set, grow
the campsites at disney’s fort wilderness resort are the least expensive place to stay at disney world.
preschoolers [3–5 years]
K
ids are bonkers for Disney by now, which makes this the BEST age for a multigenerational vacation. Princesses are real! Star Wars is real! You mean I can meet Doc McStuffins and Miles from Tomorrowland in person!!!???
So get the grandparents on board and make it a true family vacation. With that many people, though, you may be thinking cha-ching! Yes, it will be spendy, but if you rent a villa you can better budget your vacay. Villas come with multiple rooms and bedrooms [most fit up to five adults, although some have room for up to nine adults]. That means everyone has space to spread
out [important for grandparents who may not be used to the volume and high-spirited antics that accompany living with kiddos] and it’s easier to split the cost. Villas also come with a kitchen, so you don’t have to eat out. This is key. Food is expensive at Disney and although those character meals sound like a good idea, you’ll be forking over way too much cash for food that your kid’s fork never touches because she’ll be fawning over Minnie Mouse. So don’t bother with restaurant reservations with kids these ages, order your groceries online ahead of time and have them delivered to your villa when you arrive. Google how to do this and plenty of blogs will point you in the right direction.
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ready, set, grow
don’t forget to pack hats, sunglasses, and sunscreen! no matter the time of year you visit, you’ll need them.
big kids [6–9 years]
I
t’s ride time. By these ages, most kiddos are tall and brave enough for all of Disney’s rides, even the most fearsome roller coasters. Hours-long queue times, however, can ruin their—and therefore your—day.
allows you to skip the long line and queue up in the much-shorter FastPass+ line instead. It also reserves your spot at shows based on time, helping you better plan and navigate your time in the park.
This is where planning and perspective come in. Explain to your big kid that he may not get to experience every ride he wants to in a given day, but that you’re willing to help him by getting to the park as soon as it opens [i.e., he needs to wake up early] and choosing which rides he wants to FastPass+.
You can access your FastPass+ through the My Disney Experience portal and reserve which rides you and your kiddos want to go on in advance. When you get to the ride, simply swipe your MagicBand at the FastPass+ lane and voila! - you’re good to go.
fastpass+ A FastPass+ comes with every theme park admission and allows you to lock in one, two, or three selections per person per day at a single park. A FastPass+ can be used for rides, shows, or other events and can be booked starting 60 days prior to the start of your vacation. It
Oh! Want to change a ride on the fly? Make sure to download the My Disney Experience App. You can alter your FastPass+ selections from the convenience of your own mobile phone.
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ready, set, grow
want expert help planning your trip? google “authorized disney vacation planner” and take your pick from these free travel agent sites.
tweeners [10–12 years]
T
here are two places you want to head when your children reach the too-cool-for-school age. The first is Disney’s Hollywood Studios. This is where you’ll walk among replicated movie sets, learn how to wield a lightsaber as a Jedi master, and face your fears at The Twilight Zone Tower of Terror™. If your tweener’s more into watching than doing, you’re in luck. Two of the most entertaining shows that Disney has to offer are here: “For the First Time in Forever: A Frozen Sing-Along Celebration” and “Indiana Jones™ Epic Stunt Spectacular!” Both will leave you breathless but for entirely different reasons.
wet & wild You might need a break from theme parks and from each other at this age. That’s when you should head to Disney’s Typhoon Lagoon Water Park where you can all cool off. Tweeners love this park because it offers surfing lessons in a state-of-the-art wave pool. It’s not cheap but it will earn you major points with your moody middle schooler.
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college students who love the ‘mouse’ should check out the paid internship opportunities through the disney college program.
ready, set, grow
teens [13–18years]
I
f this is your first family trip to Disney World, you may feel overwhelmed by the sheer size of the parks and wonder if it’s safe for your teen to explore alone. Totally understandable. But don’t automatically eliminate this option and hold the reins too tight. There are things to consider—your child’s maturity, ability to read maps, street smarts—that should all factor into your decision. have phone, will roam In this case, cell phones are a great thing. Not only can you call and text each other, but you can also activate the ‘Share My Location’ feature on many smart phones. Picking a designated meeting spot and time can also soothe any worries you may have. We’re not saying
exploring alone is the right move for every teen, but it may give him - and you - some breathing room on a well-deserved family vacation. From scripted television programming and investigative journalism, to corporate blogging and email marketing campaigns, Patricia Carlson of Patricia Carlson Freelance does it all. An award-winning writer and editor, Patricia has produced, written, and edited programs for ESPN Radio, History Channel, and Hallmark Channel. Her editorial work appears regularly in publications nationwide and she also develops and writes strategic website content and inbound marketing materials for businesses. Patricia earned a master’s degree in journalism from the Medill School of Journalism at Northwestern University and is also a proud alumna of Wheaton College in Massachusetts. When she’s not interviewing sources, she’s questioning the antics of her two young children, partner, and senior-citizen cat. Connect with Patricia on LinkedIn.
Sources: wdwprepschool.com | www.mouseketrips.com disneyworld.disney.go.com | cp.disneycareers.com/en/default/ www.mouseplanet.com/9024/Letting_Children_Go_By_Themselves disneyunder3.com/ disneys-magic-bands-and-your-infant-or-toddler-do-they-have-to-wear-them/
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