Feb/March 2015 On the Minds of Moms by on the minds of moms

february ∙ march twenty fifteen

the valley’s modern resource for today’s parent

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JUST ONE THING

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contents

in every issue contributors .

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 10

otmom list . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 12 event calendar . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 20 shutterbug

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 34

food for thought

. . . . . . . . . . . . . 50

oh, by the way . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 80

contents

sections what’s on your mind?

resources

saying goodbye . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .18

what to do, what to do summer camps & activities 2015 . . . . . . . . . 54

shop talk understanding & interpreting your social environment . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 26

just a thought growing pains . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 56

body + being

ready, set, grow

downsizing? breast-reduction surgery & you . . 36

overflowing—organizing your kids’ stuff through the years . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 72

gettin' through it youth violence…is there a problem? . . . . . . . 40

contents

feature & profiles

mod mom profile jessica miller . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 14

mompreneur jessie evansonâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;gigiâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s cupcakes . . . . . . . . . 30

rad dad profile brad nordstrom . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 44

cover story together for changeâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;sarah olsgaard, amber neal, nancy jordheim, abby tow . . . . . . 60

T h e w a i t i s o v e r, i t ' s { F I N A L LY } t i m e ! We c a n ' t w a i t t o s e e y o u a t

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OTMOM MISSION STATEMENT On The Minds Of Moms Magazine is dedicated to providing parents of all ages a bimonthly resource they can trust. A fresh approach to traditional parenting publications, we are modern and inspiring while offering a community of local support and real-life advice for today’s family. On The Minds Of Moms contains views from across the parenting spectrum. These views do not necessarily reflect those of the publisher. All activities listed in these pages are at your own risk and require appropriate supervision. OTMOM is a publication available at all Fargo-Moorhead Hornbacher's, Sunmart, and Grand Forks–East Grand Forks Hugo's grocery store locations. Distribution also includes all partnering advertisers. Copyright 2015 All Rights Reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced without written permission from the publisher. On The Minds Of Moms is a trademark registered at the U.S. Patent and Trademark Office.

on the minds of moms | february • march twenty fifteen

contributors

got grit? the bravest people I know…

pat pobst fargo | nd what’s on your mind: page 18

My daughter Tricia has shown me determination after being diagnosed with Type I diabetes while in college. She is a loving mother of three small boys and refuses to let this diagnosis rule her life. She validates her role as a mom and wife with tenacity and courage. Matthew is a 27-year survivor of a childhood cancer called Rhabdomyosarcoma. He was only three when diagnosed with a tumor on his cheek and has tackled this challenge with bravery and courage. He adores his three nephews and anticipates their visits with enjoyment every summer.

kari klingsporn hitterdal fargo | nd food for thought: page 50 My friend Lori Fett Trosen. I could give you an impressive and lengthy list of her personal and professional accolades, but I think what really makes Lori a strong person is she has the bravery to be real. She thoughtfully yet unapologetically stands up for what she believes in. She celebrates her triumphs, but isn't afraid to share her weaknesses, too. To top it off, she became a mom and totally switched career paths to accommodate motherhood. I think we moms too often try to be supermoms. It takes a lot to get done what some of us accomplish in a day! But I think it takes an even stronger person like Lori to be the real, strong, and brave person that she is and I strive to be!

misty tomchuk fargo | nd shop talk: page 26 Although I know many people personally who have overcome seemingly insurmountable life struggles, the bravest group of people I know would have to be those immigrating to the United States in refugee situations. I recently was fortunate enough to have a conversation with a young man who had come to the US from Somalia, Africa. To come to a foreign nation, not being able to speak the language, and to be held to its expectations, rules, and customs…would be very difficult. I can’t imagine being a mother of small children, being forced to flee your home country, having those memories, and trying to move on in an unfamiliar land. To me, that is bravery.

dr. d’arcy honeycutt bismarck | nd body + being: page 36 The two bravest people I know are my sisters. My younger sister, Stacy, gave one of her kidneys to my late husband in 2003. She lives a fearless, unapologetic life. My middle sister, Allison, had a double mastectomy with immediate breast reconstruction. When she climbed up onto the surgical table she told everyone in the room, "This is the start of my healing." I still tear up thinking about her positive attitude.

deb uglem moorhead | mn oh, by the way: page 80 My Dad. He is always supportive, positive, and strong when he or any of his family is facing challenge, risk, adventure, or fun.

kathleen wrigley bismarck | nd just a thought: page 56 The men and women in the armed forces who protect our freedom and liberty are brave. Also the uniformed police and fire-fighters are brave. They're called "first-responders" because while the rest of us are watching from the sidelines or running away, they swallow their own fear and rush into dangerous, life-threatening situations. All of these heroes answer the call in bravery and sacrifice and they are the bravest people I will ever know.

patricia carlson naples | fl ready, set, grow: page 72 My cousins, Leslie and Allison, are facing life without both of their parents. Their father passed away more than a decade ago, and this year cancer took their mother. Leslie, who is only nine months older than I, spent a huge portion of 2014 raising her two young children alone while her husband was deployed. Allison is in the midst of bringing up three teenage boys, including a set of twins! To say that they are brave is an understatement. They are courageous, fierce, intelligent, devoted, funny, energetic, loving, supportive, determined, and infallible. Bravo ladies, you are my inspiration.

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otmom list

10 1966

years is the average time a bed mattress will double in weight from the accumulation of dust mites and mite poo. Who’s rushing out to purchase a new mattress? Ishy!

is the year the game “Twister” was introduced. Critics referred to it as ‘sex in a box.’ Fifty years later would we still consider it so?

sources: usaa magazine | www.all-that-is-interesting.com

Tobacco Companies Don’t Want You. They Want Your

www.onthemindsofmoms.com

KIDS tography newborn, child and family pho

701.219.0220 emilyzaunPhotography@gmail.com emilyzaunPhotography.com 12

on the minds of moms | february • march twenty fifteen

Today, in the U.S., 1,000 people will die from smoking and 3,000 kids will try smoking for the first time. If you don’t smoke by the time you’re 18, chances are you won’t. Tobacco companies know this, so they spend billions marketing to your kids every year. They call this recruiting replacement smokers. WE CALL IT CORRUPT.

BreatheND.com Brought to you by the North Dakota Center for Tobacco Prevention and Control Policy and Fargo Cass Public Health.

otmom list

percent of US households/ homes own a pet. Nothing like the feeling of unconditional love from a pet.

600

sodas on average per year are consumed by Americans. That breaks down to 2 cases a month or 1.6 cans per day. Are you sweet on soda?

Kindergarten Registration

Feb. 12, 16, 17 – 7:30 a.m. to 6:00 p.m. Feb. 13, 18, 19 – 7:30 a.m. to 4:00 p.m. Register at the school your child will attend. If you do not know which school your child will attend, please call 446-1043. If your child will attend Ed Clapp, please register at any of the following schools: Kennedy at Eagles, Lincoln, Lewis & Clark, Centennial or Kennedy Child must be age 5 by July 31, 2015.

Please be sure to bring: www.onthemindsofmoms.com

• Your child’s certified birth certificate. • Your child’s current immunization record. • A copy of a document that includes the child’s parent/guardian name and address (e.g., utility bill or bank statement).

701.446.1000

www.fargo.k12.nd.us february • march twenty fifteen | on the minds of moms

early five years ago, Jessica Miller had become someone she didnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t recognize. Worried about high blood pressure and over-all heart health, she no longer felt comfortable in her own skin. Jessica made a huge lifestyle shift,

joined Jenny Craig, and under the guidance and support of the program, Jessica rediscovered herself and her zest for life. Now, after losing 150 lbs., she has a new lease on life and has found her joy again. In her free time, Jessica, wife of Brian and mom to son Keith [11], remains active playing tennis, swimming, and exercising, enjoys game night with her family, movies, and reading. Despite her efforts and shedding the weight, Jessica has never lost her spirited personality, admitting she has always wanted to appear on Saturday Night Liveâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;she is still waiting for the call.

photos: rialee photography | lauren kupfer

mod mom

jessica miller

mod mom

age 45, moorhead.mn

my life motto is…

motto and there really is so much truth to that.

it's going to be OK! Where there's a will, there's a way.

i was surprised when i learned my body could...

all i really need...

endure swimming half a mile on a regular basis.

is love from my family and friends. Genuine love is priceless.

reading the Bible.

one day i wish i would finish...

never doubt... the power of prayer, your gut instinct, or intuitiveness.

this year i would love to try... to participate in the 5K Fargo Marathon.

i wish i could tell my younger self… don't be afraid to try new things! Trust yourself more when making decisions.

i will never forget when i was given...

EXCELLENCE

FAITH

LEARNING

SERVICE

the chance to be a mother.

sometimes i wonder if i am the only one who... thinks I'm on the wrong planet.

when i was a kid, i didn't realize how grateful i should be for... having all the free time to play with friends.

the one thing i will never change is... my silly and fun personality. many things, but Jenny Craig helped save my life. They provided me with a personal consultant I meet with weekly. They were my cheerleader, sounding board, and held me accountable. I’ve learned so many valuable skills and healthy coping techniques that remain with me every day. ‘Strive for Improvement, Not Perfection!” is one Jenny Craig

Faith, Learning, and Service The mission of Saint John Paul II Catholic Schools is to inspire exceptional student achievement by teaching the total person and fostering the following of Christ in an environment guided by the Gospel Spirit, as taught by the Catholic Church.

Currently accepting applications

www.onthemindsofmoms.com

i am grateful for…

A Community Inspiring Excellence Through

for Little Deacons (age 3) - Grade 12

FOR MORE INFORMATION OR PERSONAL TOUR Lori Hager, Admissions Director 701.893.3271 Lori.Hager@jp2schools.org

jp2schools.org february • march twenty fifteen | on the minds of moms

mod mom

i'd be lost without... my family and friends.

every woman needs... to accept herself so she can feel confident about who she is.

i'm not afraid to admit... I'm wrong or if I need help.

www.onthemindsofmoms.com

before

on the minds of moms | february • march twenty fifteen

before photos courtesy of jenny craig

after

a mother’s words: from the heart – for the heart.

Jodi Vance, Vicki’s daughter, pictured left says, “Don’t lose your mom to heart disease, get screened!”

icki Vance is grateful she took her mother’s advice. from zero to 400 or more. My number was 2,850.3, which And so is her daughter Jodi. The 63-year-old scheduled is off the charts.” a heart screen at the urging of her mother, not expecting After an immediate referral to Sanford Health cardiologist anything but a normal result. Vicki took this advice Taylor Dowsley, MD, Vicki was delivered more shocking from her mom (not pictured), ultimately saving her news. She had four arteries more than 90 percent blocked. life and extending time with her own daughter Jodi (pictured above). “I couldn’t believe it was possible, considering I had no symptoms at all,” she says. “How could I be walking “I have no family history of heart disease, and I wasn’t around, living my life with this going on inside me and experiencing any symptoms.” she says. “I do have not know it?” diabetes, but my blood pressure and cholesterol were both just fine. So scheduling a heart screen wasn’t a Following a quadruple bypass performed by Roxanne huge concern to me.” Newman, MD, cardiovascular surgeon at Sanford, Unfortunately, her heart screen results were far from normal. Vicki recalls what led her to make the appointment.

Vicki is living her life nearly exactly the same as before, including spending more time with her daughter. But she recognizes how close she was to not living life at all.

“I read a newspaper article about a woman who credited “Because I listened to my mother’s encouragement and a heart screen with saving her life,” she says. “I thought followed through with a heart screen, I am here today it was a great story, but wasn’t immediately driven to act. to share my story,” she says. “Maybe I can help save But my mom read the same exact article, and encouraged someone else’s life through my words.” me to get checked out.” During Vicki’s heart screen at the Sanford Center for Screening in April 2014, her initial results revealed no abnormalities. Because Vicki was diabetic, a cardiac CT scan was done to check for calcium deposits in the coronary arteries. “I was shocked at my results,” Vicki remarks. “The technician told me that my calcium score could range

For more information on heart screens please visit sanfordhealth.org, keyword: screening, or call to schedule your screen at (701) 23-HEART or (701) 234-3278.

what’s on your mind?

saying goodbye story by | pat pobst

www.onthemindsofmoms.com

wenty-nine years ago I kissed my daughter goodbye at the kindergarten door of Clara Barton School in South Fargo. It was the beginning of saying goodbye and learning the process of letting go which led up to the most difficult goodbye three-and-a-half years ago. This heart-breaking departure took place in the Minneapolis airport when Tricia, her husband Chad, and our two-year-old grandson, Henry, boarded a flight that would take them to Beijing, China. From there they would travel to Tianjin, where Chad would teach in the International School of China.

The day I dropped Tricia off for kindergarten was only an introduction to this process of saying goodbye. As 18

on the minds of moms | february • march twenty fifteen

a kindergarten teacher myself, I had to heed my own advice to parents: say goodbye quickly and with a cheerful smile. I couldn’t let Tricia know the emotions I was feeling, saving the tears for the drive to my school. I also knew I had to pull myself together because if I cried I would have 22 kindergarten students crying with me. I said a little prayer each time I thought of her that she would have good friends, a loving teacher, and a positive experience in the start of her school career. There have been many goodbyes in between that have taught me the process of letting go—a challenging lesson for me to learn. There were the natural events of letting go with the first sleep overs, summer camps, out-of-town volleyball games, driving the car without

what’s on your mind? us [and getting lost one of those trips and calling dad to get her home], graduation, and living in the dorm. There were the goodbyes that created more sadness, such as the time when she was eight and we said goodbye for most of the summer while her three-year-old brother, Oliver [Matty] underwent surgery, chemotherapy, and radiation at Mayo Clinic. Every day I sent something in the mail to let her know I was holding her close to my heart and that I was thankful for the family members who kept her busy in her activities. Another tender goodbye was the night I left her at the hospital as a young adult after she was diagnosed with Type I diabetes. I gained strength while I watched her be an advocate for herself and for her own health. There have been cheerful goodbyes, like the day she married Chad, and the joy my husband and I had in watching them establish their first home in Lakeville, MN. There were the goodbyes that made us proud when they traveled twice to China to teach English at a camp for children. And then I found myself saying goodbye to our brand-new baby grandson, Henry, after staying with them for a week in Lakeville to help in their fresh start of parenthood and my new role as a grandmother. I knew there was a possibility they would travel back to China to teach but nothing could prepare Butch and me for the day we received the call that they had been accepted to teach in the International School of China in Tianjin. There were countless emotions, sometimes anger, and most of the time sadness in knowing they would be gone a minimum of two years [which has now turned into four, and possibly more]. Butch has continued to reassure me that this is what parenthood is all about—letting go—and that there is nothing we can do but show them our love and be supportive of their decision.

This fall Tricia started the process of saying goodbye and letting go of Henry when he entered kindergarten at his dad’s school in Tianjin. Every morning she brings Henry to the bus stop so that he can board the big school bus for his commute. I hope I have been a good role model for her to know how to say goodbye quickly, with a cheerful smile, and to save the tears for her walk home. Originally from Grenora, North Dakota, Pat [a Concordia alumni] and husband Butch live in South Fargo. Pat taught in a private school for six years before taking a position with Fargo Public Schools for the past 27 years. She currently enjoys teaching kindergarten at Hawthorne Elementary. In her free time Pat cherishes the occasions she, Boppa Butch, and Uncle Matty can FaceTime with the grandsons in China. Oma Pat reads books to the boys for as long as they will sit and listen. When not FaceTiming Pat enjoys scrapbooking, card making, and stocking her Little Free Library.

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For several months our lives were consumed with putting the three of them on that plane. There were hugs, tears, giggles, and more tears. The biggest difference in saying goodbye this time, compared to sending Tricia off to kindergarten, was that I didn’t have to hide my sadness and could freely share my tears with her. In some way I found satisfaction and an inner peace in knowing that Tricia’s dad and I did something right to help her have the confidence to take on this opportunity of a lifetime with her husband and child by her side. In the time they have been gone, two more babies, Max and

Oliver [named after Uncle Matty], have been added to their family. We have been blessed with summer visits that provide me with certainty that there will be many more happy goodbyes to come. A.A. Milne in Winnie the Pooh says, “How lucky I am to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard.”

february events 5

Rhyming is an essential ingredient for reading. Let’s foster that skill by learning new rhymes while signing. New nursery rhymes each week for your kiddo [age birth to kindergarten entry]. Six Thursdays, 2/5-3/19 [no class 3/5], 8:45am-10:45am at Early Childhood Family Education [2410 14th St S, Moorhead]. $48 [$42 reduced fee for Moorhead School District residents].

Enjoy a snow-filled day of ski clinics, crosscountry skiing, snowshoeing, sledding, ice skating, horse-drawn sleigh rides, & a cardboard sled race at Lincoln Drive Park [120 Euclid Ave. Grand Forks] from 10am-4pm.

Nursery Rhyme Time in Sign 218.284.3400 communityed.moorheadschools.org

Cupid’s Dance Party Open Gym 701.365.8868 www.tntkidsfitness.com Let TNT Kid’s Fitness & Gymnastics [2800 Main Ave, Fargo] take care of your kiddos one evening while you relax and catch up with family and friends. Kiddos will enjoy floor games, climbing the rock wall, dancing, obstacle courses, trampoline time, our foam pit, and much more. The fun happens 7pm-8:30pm for ages 5-14.

new swag that’s way better than typical event gift bags. Make the investment… you deserve it.

Greenway Ski Day 701.746.2750 www.gfparks.org

otmomLIVE 701.306.1624 www.onthemindsofmoms. com/otmomlive Everything you love about on the minds of moms magazine is coming alive in a one-day event focused on you. Gather with us at the Radisson Hotel in the heart of Downtown Fargo to learn, meet, and hear from authentic inspiration contributors and real moms like you. Spend an afternoon in your choice of workshops that cultivate conversation about your needs, your kiddos, and your family. Enjoy an elegant meal [that you don’t cook!] complete with red velvet cake for dessert. End the night with laughs that make your abs burn, thanks to a nationally acclaimed comedian who keeps it real. Head home with some

Get out of the cold and take a cruise to Destination Anchor Island at Fargo South Indoor Pool [1840 15th Ave S]. Enjoy a Saturday afternoon in the Caribbean with music, water games, and prizes. Don't forget to grab yourself a tasty tropical treat while you relax by the water. $2 fee per swimmer.

8, 14, 15, 21, 22, 28 Open Gym 701.499.6060 www.fargoparks.com

Bring the kids to run out some energy at Open Gym. The community open-gym program is designed to provide free play for youth during a supervised time period. Locations and hours subject to change. For more information visit the website.

701. 2 82 . 2 8 9 8

w w w. w e s t f a r g o a n i m a l h o s p i t a l . v e t s u i t e . c o m 73 0 13 t h A v e n u e E , W e s t F a r g o* *soon to be 816 Meyer Drive, West Fargo

on the minds of moms | february • march twenty fifteen

Basic Training for New Dads 701.364.8100 www.essentiahealth.org This one-evening class at Essentia Health [3000 32nd Ave S, Fargo], 6:30pm-8:30pm, is designed for ‘Dads to Be’ and is taught by an experienced Dad. Topics include adjusting to fatherhood, how to support Mom, and basics of infant care. Classroom location will be posted on a sign in the main hospital lobby. Free event, register online

12, 13, 16-19

FPS Kindergarten Registration 701.446.1000 www.fargo.k12.nd.us Is your kiddo turning five by July 31, 2015? Time for kindergarten registration! Register at the school your child will attend 7:30am-6pm on the 12th, 16th, & 17th or

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State-of-the-art facility focused on the best care for cats and dogs

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Destination Anchor Island 701.499.7788 www.fargoparks.com

Your Pet’s Other 8 & 22

Opening July 2015!

Head to the Dr. James Carlson Library [2801 32 Ave S, Fargo], 1pm-3pm, for an informal, enthusiastic crafters’ group for novices and experts alike. If you are new to knitting or crocheting, we can teach you! All interested crafters are welcome. Free. Contact Lori West at 701.476.5977 or email lwest@cityoffargo.com for details.

Unraveled Crafters 701.476.5977 www.fargolibrary.org

events event calendar | february

7:30pm-4pm on the 13th, 18th, & 19th. Be sure to bring your child’s birth certificate, current immunization record, and a copy of a document that includes the child’s parent/guardian name and address [utility bill or bank statement]. If you do not know which school your child will attend please call 701.446.1043.

Family Date Night 218.284.3400 communityed.moorheadschools.org Join us at Early Childhood Family Education [2410 14th St S, Moorhead] for some Fridaynight fun as we kickstart the weekend. We will read, sing, and play the night away. As the evening comes to an end we will snuggle down with a bedtime story and good-night songs. This is a non-separating parent/child class for kiddos ages birth to kindergarten entry, 6:00pm-7:30pm, $6 [$5 reduced fee for Moorhead School District residents].

Paws for Reading 701.241.1495 www.fargolibrary.org

lend a furry listening ear to developing readers [grades 1-6] as they read out loud. Pre-registration is required. Call 701.241.1495 to reserve a 15-minute session with a furry friend.

Sweetheart Ball 701.232.3980 www.rmhcfargo.org Support the Ronald McDonald House of the Red River Valley at the Holiday Inn [3803 13th Ave S, Fargo], 6pm-midnight, with an evening featuring dinner, a live and silent auction, and dancing at this semi-formal event. Tickets are $75.

Awesome Art Afternoon 701.499.7788 www.fargoparks.com Love art, but hate the mess? Bring your kiddo to this interactive art program to have fun while building a variety of take-home projects. All creative materials will be provided. This program is free thanks to a grant from Xcel Energy. Adult supervision required. 1pm-3pm at Robert D. Johnson Recreation Center [1104 2nd Ave S, Fargo].

Reading therapy pets will visit the Main Library [102 3rd St N, Fargo] 1pm-3pm to

22 & 21

Vehicle crashes are the No. 1 cause of death for young adults ages 14-24! Help protect your young driver by enrolling him or her in Alive at 25, an interactive classroom course that encourages young drivers to take responsibility for their driving behavior to keep them safe on the road. All classes are held at Altru Psychiatry Center, Room 201 [860 S. Columbia Rd – Grand Forks] from 5pm-9:30pm. Registration is required.

Experience a night of joy and memories to last a lifetime for a special little girl and her escort at the 10th annual Daddy Daughter Dance at the Alerus Center in Grand Forks! This treasured event is for girls age 11 & under and their escorts [daddy, grandpa, or a favorite uncle]. Space is limited. Register online today!

Alive at 25 701.223.6372 www.ndsc.org

Football/Cheerleader Party Open Gym 701.365.8868 www.tntkidsfitness.com Let TNT Kid’s Fitness & Gymnastics [2800 Main Ave, Fargo] take care of your kiddos one evening while you relax and catch up with family and friends. Kiddos will enjoy floor games, climbing the rock wall, dancing, obstacle courses, trampoline time, our foam pit, and much more. The fun happens 7pm-9pm for ages 5-14.

Knight for a Princess 701.746.2750 www.gfparks.org

Youth Ice-Fishing Derby 701.499.6060 www.fargoparks.com Bring your ice-ﬁshing rod and try your luck at the annual Youth Ice-Fishing Derby, 12:30pm-2:30pm at the South Woodhaven Pond [4202 Woodhaven Dr S, Fargo] that is stocked with perch, bluegill, and northern pike. Holes will be pre-drilled for participants. Trophies will be awarded at this catch-and-release event for ages 15 and under. There is no entry fee and there will be free hot cocoa and t-shirts while supplies last.

for parents and students

Enroll Today | K-12th Grade Free busing in Moorhead. Shuttle available to and from West & South Fargo.

Half and Full Day K available.

RSVP at 218-236-0500

www.ParkChristianSchool.org

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PARK CHRISTIAN SCHOOL

february • march twenty fifteen | on the minds of moms

march events 1

1, 8, 14

Open Gym 701.499.6060 www.fargoparks.com Bring the kids to run out some energy at Open Gym. The community open-gym program is designed to provide free play for youth during a supervised time period. Locations and hours subject to change. For more information visit the website.

5–8

Sportsmen’s Show www.fargodome.com North Dakota’s largest sports show is back for 4 big days! The 50th annual Red River Valley Sportsmen's Boat, Camping &

Vacation Show will fill the FARGODOME with many tastes of summertime fun. Adults $7.50, Kids 6-12 $2.50, kids 5 & under free.

after all people on site have been helped. Tickets may be purchased Monday through Friday 8am-5pm.

5–7, 12–14, 19–21, 26–28

Parent's Night Out while the kids enjoy the YMCA! 4:30pm-9:30pm, Schlossman YMCA [4243 19th Ave S, Fargo], Grades K-6, $18 for members, $25 non-members. Registration is required.

Preschool Open Gym 701.365.8868 www.tntkidsfitness.com

Kiddos ages 12 months to 5 years can have a blast at TNT Kid’s Fitness & Gymnastics [2800 Main Ave, Fargo] during open gym. Thursday 11am-noon, Friday 10am-11am & Saturday 8am-9:30am. $6 per child or purchase $50 punch card worth 10 visits. For every 2 children 1 active helper is required.

Treasure Hunters’ Open Gym 701.365.8868 www.tntkidsfitness.com Let TNT Kid’s Fitness & Gymnastics [2800 Main Ave, Fargo] take care of your kiddos one evening while you relax and catch up with family and friends. Kiddos will enjoy floor games, climbing the rock wall, dancing, obstacle courses, trampoline time, our foam pit, and much more. The fun happens 7pm-8:30pm, for ages 5-14.

Saturday Fun Nights www.ymcacassclay.org/funnights

Child Passenger Safety Class 701.234.7233 www.sanfordhealth.org Are your kids riding safely? This class is designed to give participants knowledge about correct use of car seats. This class meets licensing requirements for Minnesota child care and foster care providers. Space is limited. Pre-registration is necessary. $30/participant.

Butterfly Ball Ticket Sales 701.499.7788 www.fargoparks.com The very popular semi-formal Father/ Daughter Dance is back! Tickets go on sale starting at 8:00am. Sold on a first-come, first-served basis at Robert D. Johnson Recreation Center [1104 2nd Ave S, Fargo] $16/person. Phone calls will be returned

Safe Kids 701.780.1856 www.safekidsgf.com Did you know that 4 out of 5 car seats are used incorrectly? Could your child's be one of them? Safe Kids Grand Forks, in partnership with Altru Health System and Rydell GM Auto Center, offers a monthly car seat check-up event on the second Thursday of each month. This event is from 4pm-7pm, free, and no appointments are necessary. Come to Rydell's and certified car seat technicians will check on your seat and ensure your children are riding safely.

School’s Out Day Camp 701.365.8868 www.tntkidsfitness.com If school is out for the day, come to TNT Kid’s Fitness & Gymnastics [2800 Main Ave, Fargo] to play, 7am-6pm! Our S.O.D.C. ensures that your kiddo [ages 5-14] will receive well over 60 minutes of physical activity, healthy snacks and a noon meal,

www.onthemindsofmoms.com

Families Making the Difference

A child needs you! Become a foster parent, Call today! Treatment Foster Care and Family-Based Services 701-280-9545 800-766-9321 www.pathinc.org

on the minds of moms | february • march twenty fifteen

events event calendar | march

quiet reading time, and creative/open play in the gym. Your kiddo is guaranteed to have a fun-filled day and meet new friends!

13 & 14

Cyber Bowl 218.233.6153 www.bowlingsunset.com

Enjoy late night bowling with colored lights and music for all ages at Sunset Lanes [620 Hwy 75, Moorhead] starting at 10pm. $9/person, all you can bowl.

St. Patrick’s Day Parade 701.364.9867 www.downtownfargo.com Everyone’s Irish for a day when FargoMoorhead celebrates St. Patrick’s Day in downtown Fargo.

Celtic Festival 701.499.7788 www.fargoparks.com This festival features entertainment stages, several presentations about folk traditions of the past & present, activitiy booths, & Celtic foods at the Hjemkomst Center, Moorhead 10am-4pm.

14 & 15

Fargo Ice Revue 701.499.6060 www.fargoparks.com Students from each of the Park District’s skate classes will present their annual Ice Skating Revue at the Coliseum [801 17 Av N, Fargo] beginning at 7pm.

18 & 30

Car Seat 101 for Expectant Parents 701.234.5570 www.sanfordhealth.org Are your car seats installed correctly? Don't take the chance! This class is designed for expectant parents and focuses on infant car seats for newborns. Make an appointment and be at the Sanford Office Building [1711 S. University Dr, Fargo] between 6:30pm-8pm. Space is limited. Pre-registration is necessary.

20–22

Participants will learn the ABCs of CPR, how to manage airway obstruction, and will receive an American Heart Association participation card. 8:30pm-9:30pm. Preregistration is necessary.

This weekend of inflatable family fun will take place at the Veterans’ Memorial Arena [1201 7th Ave E, West Fargo] and features many obstacle courses, giant slides, bouncy castles, Volcano Climb, Kiddie Land area, and more. Bring your friends and play laser tag. Concessions will be available. This event is open to all ages. Children 12 & under must attend with an adult. Open 4pm-8pm on the 20th, 10am-7pm on the 21st, 11am-4pm on the 22nd. $6/person.

Come dressed up for tea and bring your faborite teddy bear. Learn etiquette basics through fun games while enjoying bite-sized snacks and refreshments. From 10am-11am at Rheault Farm [2902 25th St S, Fargo]. Pre-registration is reguired. $6/child.

CPR for Family & Friends 701.234.5570 www.sanfordhealth.org

Riding on Angels’ Wings Fundraiser 218.359.0007 www.ridingonangelswings.org Head to the Hartl Building at the Red River Valley Fairgrounds and support Riding on Angels' Wings’ mission to enrich the quality of life for individuals with special needs through equine-assisted activities and therapy delivered in a safety-oriented , family-centered atmosphere. The fun starts at 6pm. Tickets can be purchased by calling 218.359.0007.

20 & 21

Knight for a Princess 701.746.2750 www.gfparks.org Experience a night of joy and memories to last a lifetime for a special little girl and her escort at the 10th annual Daddy Daughter dance at the Alerus Center in Grand Forks! This treasured event is for girls age 11 & under and their escorts [daddy, grandpa, or a favorite uncle]. Space is limited. Register online today!

Bouncin' Bash & More 701.433.5360 www.wfparks.org

Teddy Bear Tea Party 701.499.7788 www.fargoparks.com

20–22

Home Design & Garden Show 701.746.4536 www.forxbuilders.com Spring is right around the corner and there’s no time like the present to attend the Home Design & Garden Show event at the Alerus Center [1200 42nd St S, Grand Forks] on Fri – 4pm, Sat – 10am, Sun - 12pm. Kids can enjoy bouncy games, indoor playground and building area while you take in seminars, local chef demonstrations, and shop exhibitors.

22 & 23

Cosmic Bowling 701.499.6060 www.fargoparks.com Bring the whole family and enjoy bowling at its wildest times. Music and lights will add to the party atmosphere. Prizes will be given away throughout the event. 1pm-3pm at West Acres Bowl [3402 Interstate Blvd SW, Fargo] $9/person, pre-registration is required, and groups of 4 or 5 preferred.

27–29

El Zagel Shrine Circus 701.241.9100 www.fargodome.com High-wire and trapeze acts, clowns, bears, elephants, cotton candy, and much, much more! Check Fargodome website for show times and ticket info.

20 & 21

PRCA Rodeo www.fargodome.com Grab your boots and hat and head out to the action of bareback riding, barrel racing, steer wrestling, and bull riding. The rodeo is sure to keep you on the edge of your seat with excitement! Tickets: Adults: $30 Gold Buckle, $25 Reserved, $17 General admission, Kids 2-12: $30 Gold Buckle, $12.50 Reserved, $8.50 General Admission. Doors open at 6:30pm, action starts at 7:30pm.

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www.onthemindsofmoms.com

All event listings displayed within OTMOM are carefully selected to provide diverse options for families. It is always a good idea to call ahead to confirm the information provided. Although it is not possible to list every event happening in the FM area, we encourage organizations to submit events for consideration to events@onthemindsofmoms.com

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april events Child Abuse Prevention Month www.stopchildabusend.com www.pcamn.org Help strengthen families and prevent child abuse and neglect.

3&4

Easter Eggstravaganza 701.232.6102 www.childrensmuseumyunker.org Meet the Easter Bunny! Hop on over to the Extraordinary Egg Hunt at 11am, 1pm, & 3pm. Spring crafts, live chicks, and tons of other great family activities at the Children’s Museum at Yunker Farm [1201 28th Ave N, Fargo] starting at 10am.

Saturday Fun Nights www.ymcacassclay.org/funnights Parent's Night Out while the kids enjoy the YMCA! 4:30pm-9:30pm, Schlossman YMCA [4243 19th Ave S, Fargo], Grades K-6, $18 for members, $25 non-members. Registration is required.

Training to be Tremendous 701.277.9240 www.redriverzoo.org There are many reasons why zoo animals are trained. From 3:15pm-4:45pm, visit and discover how the Red River Valley Zoo [4255 23rd Ave S, Fargo] keeps their animals healthy through training and what techniques are used. Meet the Zoo Veterinarian and practice your skills with real blow darts, too.

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on the minds of moms | february • march twenty fifteen

Angel Auction www.catholiccharitiesnd.org Support Catholic Charities of ND by attending their Angel Auction, [formerly Purse & Quilt and More Auction] at the Hilton Garden Inn in Fargo. Featuring heirloom-quality quilts and fantastic purses, as well as service, sporting, and entertainment packages in both live and silent auctions. All proceeds benefit the Pregnancy, Parenting, and Adoption Services of Catholic Charities North Dakota. Tickets on sale now! Get involved! Contact Sarah Ries at 701.235.4457 or sries@catholiccharitiesnd.org for more info on donating a Quilt, Purse, or any other item for the Auction, or becoming a committee member or sponsor of this great event!

Cyber Bowl 218.233.6153 www.bowlingsunset.com Enjoy late night bowling with colored lights and music for all ages at Sunset Lanes [620 Hwy 75, Moorhead] starting at 10pm. $9/person, all you can bowl.

17 & 24

Friday Night Races 701.780.0999 www.rivercitiesspeedway.com Cheer on your favorite drivers while Outlaw Sprints, Late Models, Midwest Modifieds, and Street Stocks all compete for the checkered flag on one of the best 1/3-mile dirt tracks in the nation.

B.L.A.S.T. Babysitter's Day Camp 701.364.1704 www.fmambulance.com The initial course for teens and pre-teens on the responsibilities of caring for children. They will learn CPR and first aid for children, as well as diaper-changing techniques. They will also learn when to call 911 and what will happen if they do need emergency

events event calendar | april

assistance. The course is designed for young babysitters ages 11–15. Limited space. Register online.

Gigantic Rummage Sale 701.433.5360 www.wfparks.org

Over 185 vendors will be selling antiques, crafts, collectibles, closeout items, and garage-sale items at the Veterans’ Memorial Arena [1201 7th Ave E, West Fargo], 7am-2pm. Free parking. To register for a booth please contact the park office. Concessions will be available. $1 admission [17 & under free].

Gold-N-Motion 701.280.0400 www.americangoldgymnastics.com Don’t miss this opportunity to see why our local talent is considered some of the top competitive & show gymnasts in the country! Time TBD.

Enjoy late night bowling with colored lights and music for all ages at Sunset Lanes [620 Hwy 75, Moorhead] starting at 10pm. $9/person, all you can bowl.

Alive at 25 701.223.6372 www.ndsc.org

Car Seat 101 for Expectant Parents 701.234.5570 www.sanfordhealth.org Are your car seats installed correctly? Don't take the chance! This class is designed for expectant parents and focuses on infant car seats for newborns. Make an appointment and be at the Sanford Office Building [1711 S. University Dr, Fargo] between 6:30pm-8:30pm. Space is limited. Pre-registration is necessary.

Cyber Bowl 218.233.6153 www.bowlingsunset.com

Garden Party 701.499.6090 www.fargoparks.com Kids and parents, get in the gardening mood at this pre-summer event. Kids and parents will enjoy creating take-home garden arts and crafts and a Plant Petting Zoo at Rheault Farm [2902 25th St. S. Fargo] from 1:30pm-4:30pm. There will also be a bug hunt, face painting, plant walk, and more! Free admission!

24–26

KEM Shrine Circus 701.772.7125 www.theralph.com

Tickets are FREE for all children through 8th grade [with accompanying adult] and $14 for adults at the door [$12 pre-sale].

Unraveled Crafters 701.476.5977 www.fargolibrary.org

All interested crafters are invited to the Dr. James Carlson Library [2801 32nd Ave S, Fargo], 1pm-3pm, for some unraveled fun! If you are new to knitting or crocheting, they'll teach you!

Kids Are Our Business Breakfast 701.293.7273 www.raccfm.com Join the Rape and Abuse Crisis Center for breakfast at the Ramada Plaza Suites in Fargo at 7:30am & help out a great cause. Seating is limited, so call today for ticket information! Table & event sponsorships available. Pre-registration encouraged.

The KEM Shrine Circus returns to Ralph Engelstad Arena for three days of fun for all ages. Friday 3pm & 7pm; Saturday 10am, 2pm, & 7pm; Sunday 2pm & 6pm.

1-877 KIDS NOW 1-877-543-7669) low-cost/free health coverage www.healthystepsnd.com

Health Priority Today,

Future Success to Come!

www.onthemindsofmoms.com

Preventive medicine keeps our kids healthy today, but the benefits also include better school attendance, better grades, and a healthy future! february • march twenty fifteen | on the minds of moms

shop talk

understanding & interpreting your social environment

shop talk story by | misty tomchuk, med, ma

s members of a social species, humans depend on others for survival. Our teenagers are no exception. We have developed specialized brain functions to help guide us through these various social interactions. We use complex parts of our brains to combine the verbal messages [the literal meaning of what is being said in word choice, voice characteristics like tone and pitch, word flow, and speed] with the non-verbal messages [body language and facial expression] to make sense of our social environment. Unfortunately, there are times that the messages we receive aren’t what is meant by the other person at all! We often bring our own ideas and past experiences with the social environment [and the people in it] into our interpretation. This is where problems start unfolding. Rather than being overwhelmed by these mixed signals, it is best to focus on what we can do to interpret and positively interact with others.

understanding of social cues and inability to see a world outside of themselves, than the facts of the event itself. The good news is we can help them through these situations and train them to be more conscious, confident, and resilient individuals. Children who face difficulty understanding their social environment can become withdrawn, be overly emotional, and/or complain endlessly. All children are different; some may have a certain situation that piques this behavior, whereas for others, it seems to be true across the board. Assuming the worst, having difficulty identifying and talking about feelings, and perceived helplessness in resolving the issue are common stressors that make the situation seem worse than it really is. We can help our teens by using guided questioning to PROCESS the situation: • Plan to stay calm as a parent, remain impartial, and not get emotionally involved beforehand. • Have your child Re-tell the interaction as he remembers it, including feelings.

A common complaint of adolescents is being misunderstood. They want to be valued as individuals, feel powerful in their decision-making, experience wind in their hair as they race out the door to drive our vehicles, and ultimately be accepted for who they are—even if they don’t know quite who that is yet. As adults, we can look back at our experiences and remember the feelings of uncertainty as we developed into the people we are today. Common themes reoccur as we, the parents and caregivers, ask about the days of our children. Male or female, elementary, middle, or high school, it is the same. “Julie is such a brat, her and Jenny sat at lunch and talked about me all day. I know they hate me.” “Coach Johnson doesn’t know what he’s talking about, he is punishing me. I know I’m not going to play in the next game.” “Dad is such a jerk, he won’t let me have the car on Friday. I can’t wait until I move out!”

www.onthemindsofmoms.com

So, what is really happening here? Are Julie and Jenny really out to get our sweet little seventh grader? Does Coach Johnson hold resentments toward our 11th-grade football player? Are we as parents trying to destroy the social lives of our teenagers? Although bullying, favoritism, and domestic issues do arise and need to be taken seriously, what we are talking about here is influencing our children’s perception of events. What they experience has more to do with their developing february • march twenty fifteen | on the minds of moms

shop talk ReadingWritingFriendshiRated as One of The Top 50 Best MathematicsMusicArts Christian High Schools in America! SocialStudiesEnglishHis • GeographyLanguageM HistoryPlaytimeMathem • • aticsSocialStudiesHistory sFriendshipsSocialSkills • ReadingWritingFriendshi • WritingMathemMusic • ArtsSocialStudiesReadingWritingFriendshiMa thematicsMusicArtsRe SocialStudiesEnglishHis GeographyLanguageM HistoryPlaytimeMathem aticsSocialStudiesHistory sFriendshipsSocialSkills ReadingWritingFriendshi One school choice Pre-K through Grade 12. Small class sizes. Extracurricular activities, you can try them all.

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• Obtain specific reasons for his assumption: was something said a certain way, was there a look, or a particular action? • Cite any evidence or knowledge you have about how or why the other person might have acted that way: recent loss, chemical dependency, issues at home • Empathize without speaking badly about the other person: “I understand how you are feeling right now, that must be hard for you.” • Help problem solve for Solutions: taking a break from that friend, having the child talk to the person • Offer Support: “Can I help you connect with the person? Is there anything I can do that will help you feel better? Do you need a hug?

Be sure to stay connected and follow up with your child a few days after the event. More often than not, simply leading your child through this PROCESS will help him reflect on the situation, make him more conscious of the world around him, and become more confident and resilient in his interactions with others. If the issue seems persistent, feel comfortable talking to school personnel or getting a referral for counseling using this method. It works for adults too!

fun & relaxing social painting events

No artistic experience? None needed! Find your next painting party at

CreativelyUncorked.com

www.onthemindsofmoms.com

Public Events, Private Parties, Corporate Events and More!

Misty Tomchuk founded Wellness Ambitions, LLC, in the summer of 2013. Wellness Ambitions, LLC, is a wellness-consulting firm that specializes in social and personal wellness issues, education, project management, and trial consulting. Her mission is to help people find viable solutions to their problems. She has taught high school science, specializing in at-risk education, since 2006. Misty holds a few degrees from local universities. She graduated with a B.S. in Chemistry/Biochemistry from NDSU in 2002 and was awarded a two-year McNair Research Scholarship. She then continued to pursue graduate work in chemistry though 2004 and completed her Ph.D. coursework; then transferred into the field of Education to secure a M.Ed. in Science Education, graduating with honors from NDSU in 2009. Deciding to change fields once again, she moved on to psychology and graduated with a M.A. in Forensic Psychology in 2012 from UND. Her passion is focused on wellness, education, mediation, intervention, and advocacy.

Wellness Ambitions, LLC 701.799.3331 WellnessAmbitions.com WellnessAmbitions@gmail.com

110

on the minds of moms | february • march twenty fifteen

mammography Breast cancer has no place to hide.

At Edith Sanford Breast Center, our team of clinical care and research experts has joined together with one goal: to eliminate breast cancer once and for all. We are the only provider of 3D mammography in the Fargo metro area; giving you access to the latest in screening technology. 3D mammography can offer: • Earlier detection • Fewer additional tests • Reduced anxiety Choose expert Care. Choose sanford.

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Call (855) 35-EDITH (353-3484) or visit breastscreen.sanfordhealth.org to schedule your mammogram today.

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february • march twenty fifteen | on the minds of moms

pr A

country girl from rural Grand Forks, ND, Jessie Evanson [35] grew up a standout volleyball and basketball student-athlete, which took her to Mayville State University on scholarship. With a double major in Business

Administration and Computer Information Systems, drive and work ethic was never a question for Jessie. So while on a trip to Memphis, TN, to visit her sister, it wasn’t a surprise when she stopped at Gigi’s Cupcakes and fell in love with the cupcakes and business concept. Sparked with interest and experience with small business, Jessie began to dabble in the details of the franchise. In March of 2013, when her sister opened Gigi’s Cupcakes in Golden Valley, MN, Jessie spent time helping in the store, learning the sweet secrets of the franchise, and serving cupcake-crazed customers. Before long the pieces came together, and with the support of husband, Shaun, two boys, Carter [6] and Drew [2], family and friends, on October 31st, 2014, she opened her own Gigi’s Cupcakes storefront in Fargo, ND.

photos: caitlin killoran photography | caitlin killoran

mom reneur jessie evanson

mompreneur

gigi’s cupcakes

why decide to go with a franchise?

They had the best product and presentation.

have you always had a love of baking? Yes, I come from a family of bakers.

in three words describe gigi’s cupcakes? Frosting, Frosting, Frosting! We believe you can always take it off but never add it.

what one quality do you think is necessary to be a mompreneur?

Dedication; you need to be there and be dedicated to your work. When I am not at work, I am checking on the store constantly. My husband says he is a dedicated husband that now does housework, cooks, cleans, and takes care of the kids, haha.

what do you think it is about the cupcake craze? Everyone loves cake; I think of cupcakes as more of a traditional dessert with many flavors. You can have your own flavor and own piece of cake without having an entire cake.

is gigi’s cupcakes only cupcakes or do you offer other baked goods? We offer stuffed cookies, sugar cookies, cakes, cheesecakes, breads, pies, macaroons, and many more seasonal desserts.

is there a benefit to placing orders on line? Yes, we will have it ready for you, you can choose the time of pick up, and assures you the flavors you want, as we run out sometimes. You also pay up front so it saves time in the store.

No—well, maybe all the dishes.

what has been a welcome surprise about opening your doors? The amazing support of the entire region.

kkkk kkkk High quality care with kkkk a personal touch! kkkk kkkk 701.364.APEX (2739) www.apexptwe ll ness.com 550 13th Ave E, West Fargo

february • march twenty fifteen | on the minds of moms

www.onthemindsofmoms.com

do you have a least favorite part of the businesses?

Our therapists specialize in areas such as pediatric care, pelvic floor pain, manual therapy, and wellness programs to treat a wide variety of symptoms.

mompreneur what is necessary to keep your day running smoothly?

what is the most unique thing about you?

Everyone showing up to work and doing their job.

what is gigi’s best kept secret?

I am a highly competitive person with everything; it is a good and bad trait at the same time.

what tasty tidbits do you want to leave us with?

Well, it wouldn’t be a secret now would it?

what are the most requested flavors? Wedding Cake and Cookie Dough.

how do you make time for you? Sundays are my day off, so we have a fun day with the family. Starts out with church and watching football most of the day…I have football fanactics in my family! When you have two-year-old and sixyear-old boys, there really isn’t much time for you. I am sure one day there will but I am happy with my life now; this time will go by fast.

Every handmade little cake is baked using the freshest ingredients. Saigon cinnamon, Madagascar vanilla, farm-fresh creamy butter, hand-selected fruits and nuts, along with the smoothest cream cheese. We offer a seasonal menu with over 35 flavors and endless specials. Perfect for walk-ins or large catering events and weddings. We offer mini cupcakes daily by the dozen or large special orders, as well as customized decorations. We also have a decadent line of creamy Cheesecake cupcakes and amazing stuffed cookies. Hope to see you soon at Gigi’s Cupcakes!

away from the store, what might we find you doing? I am a homebody. I love to spend every second I am not at work with my kids. They are the most important thing in my life. I run my first grader to boy scouts, basketball league, flag football, or t-ball. He LOVES sports, we are a sports family. I am sure my two-year-old will be following in his footsteps.

is there one thing you vowed you would never do when you became a mom that you find yourself doing? With my first son I said my kids would never sleep with me, but with my second I gave in. He has been sleeping with me since he crawled out of his crib. He is a bed hog and kicks me all night.

1st visit

recommended

Gigi’s Cupcakes 1650 45th St. Ste. 103, Fargo 701.364.2253 www.gigiscupcakesusa.com/fargonorthdakota Follow on Facebook Mon-Tues. 10a-8p, Wed 10a-2p, Fri-Sat. 10a-8p Sun. 10a-5p

year of age!

Dr. Chad Hoge, Diplomate,

American Board of Pediatric Dentistry

Dr. Mikala Hoge, Diplomate,

American Board of Pediatric Dentistry

www.onthemindsofmoms.com

Dakota Pediatric Dentistry, P.C. w w w. d a k o t a p e d i a t r i c d e n t i s t r y . c o m comprehensive dental care for infants, children, and adolescents

on the minds of moms | february • march twenty fifteen

FARGO OFFICE

701-478-5439

4265 45th St S, Ste 202

GRAND FORKS OFFICE

701-746-1400 3990 S Columbia Rd

mompreneur

www.onthemindsofmoms.com

february • march twenty fifteen | on the minds of moms

shutter bug

rialee photography

caitlin killoran photography

exposures by j.linnea

emily zaun photography

shutter bug

exposures by j.linnea

caitlin killoran photography

emily zaun photography

tiny sprout portraits

body + being

downsizing? breast-reduction surgery & you

story by | d’arcy honeycutt, m.d., f.a.c.s.

et’s face it, as soon as we start to develop breasts, size becomes something on our minds. Too small, too big, or just right? Well, some would argue the answer to that lies in the eye of the beholder! But for some women, breast size isn’t a laughing matter and can be a contributing factor to physical limitations. Do you have questions regarding breast-reduction surgery? could my breasts be the cause? Breast reduction is a life changing surgery for some women with large breasts. Most women who have this surgery have bra-cup sizes of DD and higher and three or more physical symptoms associated with large breasts. Typical problems experienced by women with macromastia [excessive size of breasts] are: back, neck, and shoulder pain, shoulder grooves, poor posture, muscle-tension headaches, difficulty performing physical activities, rashes underneath the breasts, and pain requiring physical therapy or chiropractic treatment.

for some women, breast size isn’t a laughing matter and can be a contributing factor to physical limitations

Pride in our PurPose

Early Childhood Family Education

Strengthening Families & Supporting Parents Call or go online for a list of our winter classes 218-284-3400 https://communityed.moorheadschools.org

elim children’s center 701.271.1810

• 3534 University Dr S

www.elimcare.org/ecc

a ministry of elim care, fargo nd

loving.

learning.

growing.

Specializing in Families, Futures & Businesses Family Law · Divorces · Child Custody and Visitation · Child Support · Adoption · Collaborative Divorces · Mediation Estate Planning and Probate Business Law Krista Andrews 701.235.3300

kandrews@andersonbottrell.com

4132 30th Ave S, Fargo www.andersonbottrell.com

february • march twenty fifteen | on the minds of moms

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how is the procedure done? There are several ways to perform the reduction. The inferior pedicle along with the anchor scar is the most common technique used in the U.S. This technique entails an incision around the nipple, down the middle of the breast, and along the fold where the breast and chest meet [imagine a boat anchor or inverted T]. In this procedure, as well as in the medial pedicle, and superior pedicle procedures, the nipple retains its blood and nerve supply as excess breast tissue is removed and the breast is reshaped. For extremely large, pendulous [saggy] breasts, the nipple and areola may need to be removed and relocated to a higher position on the breast [free-nipple graft].

body + being Liposuction can also be used to reduce the breast, but it is best in post-menopausal women who don’t require a large reduction. The lift obtained is not as great as with other techniques. I have found liposuction to be a useful tool in breast reduction. I use it to reduce bulges in the armpit and lateral chest wall, and also to improve minor asymmetries. will there be scars? Yes. Scarring is permanent, and the scars can spread or hypertrophy. Also, numbness and problems breast feeding occur in about 30% of women. So, yes, there can be scarring and other concerns, much like any medical procedure, but breast reduction surgery is associated with a satisfaction rate in the high 90% range! Most women even notice an improvement in back and neck pain the night of surgery. what about my insurance? Insurance companies often pay for this surgery when it requires removal of a significant amount of breast tissue. The amount of tissue required for insurance payment is determined by each individual company,

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on the minds of moms | february • march twenty fifteen

relief from physical and emotional discomfort, an increased ability to exercise, and an expanded wardrobe of new styles to wear are just some of the benefits women report after breast-reduction surgery but is often based on the Schnur guidelines. Schnur is a method developed by a plastic surgeon for a study done to determine the number of women who had breast-reduction surgery for medical reasons only. The Schnur chart takes the height and weight of the patient to determine the body surface area [BSA]. The BSA is what determines the amount of breast tissue to be removed. This allows for less tissue to be removed from shorter women but more from heavier women. For instance, Blue Cross/Blue Shield of North Dakota requires a minimum of 200 grams be removed from each side and the presence of three or more symptoms for coverage of the procedure. It’s hard to appreciate the profound change in a woman’s life by just having several pounds of breast tissue removed. Relief from physical and emotional discomfort, an increased ability to exercise, and an expanded wardrobe of new styles to wear are just some of the benefits women report after breast-reduction surgery. Do you have other questions? We would be happy to answer them at Advanced Surgical Arts Center in Bismarck, ND. Call us at 701.530.8450. D'Arcy Honeycutt, MD, is one of only a few female plastic surgeons practicing in North Dakota. This mama of two grown children [a son at NDSU and a daughter applying to medical school at UND] has been in North Dakota over 16 years. Her practice consists entirely of cosmetic and breast procedures. Dr. Honeycutt, board certified in both general and plastic surgery, and her all-female staff work in a beautifully modern, yet comfortable, office and their ambulatory surgery center is accredited. She is also on staff at St. Alexius Hospital and UND. Please visit the video website at www.darcyhoneycutt.com, and be sure to like Advance Surgical Arts Center – Dr. D’Arcy Honeycutt on Facebook.

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february • march twenty fifteen | on the minds of moms

gettin’ through it

youth violence is there a problem? story by | sean brotherson

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remember the day my older brother came home from the bus stop after school with a black eye. He disappeared downstairs immediately, so I wasn’t sure what had happened. Then a near neighbor appeared with her young teenage son in tow behind her, asked to see my parents and brother, and then angrily brought her son forward to apologize for the fight that resulted in the black eye. That day I learned that incidents of violence among youth are often unexpected, upsetting, and clearly in need of adult attention. Most parents are likely to be upset when any type of violence occurs at home between siblings, in a neighborhood between youth, or at school between classmates. However, perhaps we should not be completely surprised when such incidents occur. In America today we live in

on the minds of moms | february • march twenty fifteen

a culture that often glamorizes violence and certainly elevates attention to it with everything from cage fighting to violence-soaked video games. But how common is youth violence and when does it typically begin? what is youth violence? “Youth violence” is a phrase that deserves description. Typically, violence can be defined as a specific behavioral act of aggression [verbal or physical] that is designed to injure, threaten, intimidate, frighten, or otherwise harm another person. Sometimes we struggle to define what is “youth violence” and what is just “kids being kids,” and so it is helpful to consider youth violence on a spectrum from teasing behaviors [less intense] to more severe actions such as fighting or assault. Dan Olweus, a prominent researcher on bullying and youth violence, notes that “a person is being bullied

gettin’ through it or victimized [by violence] when he or she is exposed, repeatedly and over time, to negative actions on the part of one or more persons.” Further, a child may not be targeted repeatedly for teasing or bullying, but even a single negative or violent incident can have lasting emotional costs and physical or psychological consequences. Common features of violence among youth include: • Physical intimidation, threat, or assault • Verbal harassment or attacks • Teasing in a harassing manner [rated #1 by youth] • Social exclusion or rejection from a group [rated #2 by girls] • Public or private humiliation and shaming [online bullying, etc.] • Renaming or name-calling • Gossip, harming or undermining relationships with others While direct types of violence such as pushing, hitting, or kicking another individual are often thought of when discussing youth violence, the types of behavior that include gossip, shaming, and social exclusion belong to a category known as “relational aggression” that is also quite common among youth. key features of bullying and youth violence We sometimes may believe that severe teasing, bullying, or some types of violence are not particularly serious among youth. However, it is more likely we think that way only as long as such actions do not hurt someone we know personally or love. Research on bullying and

youth violence in the United States and the Midwest shows some key findings: • The most troublesome period identified for bullying is the middle-school years [5th to 8th grade]; peer harassment increases after 3rd grade and diminishes following grade 10. • 80 percent of 8th to 12th graders felt bullied “at some point,” while 90 percent of 4th to 8th graders felt bullied “at some point.” • Bullying in the United States is thus most problematic during the 5th to 8th grade years [total occurrence and amount of trauma reported]. • It has been found that between 7 and 15 percent of the school-age population reports as “severely traumatized” by bullying. • Boys are more likely to perpetrate bullying toward others, regardless of the victim’s gender. • Students report the most disturbance in their social and emotional well-being as a result of being bullied, but also indicate school learning suffers. • Most bullying is verbal, including teasing, but younger males report physical bullying and females report social exclusion or rejection. • Students perceive differences in appearance, dress, social behavior, or social status as risk factors for being bullied; however, research does not suggest “bullied” students actually differ greatly on these items. • Students may express ideas supportive of bullying, such as blaming the victim, thinking that bullying could “educate” students about what is appropriate, that bullies have higher social status, and that being

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february • march twenty fifteen | on the minds of moms

gettin’ through it friends with someone who gets bullied will lower their own status. While it is not surprising that bullying and youth violence occur, the extent of it among students in middle and high school and its effects raise substantial concerns. What do youth identify as the reasons behind why they may be teased and harassed or bullied by others between the years of 4th grade and the end of high school? For both boys and girls, the reasons they identify are highly consistent. Boys indicate, in order, that the most common reasons for being victimized or bullied during these years are: [1] they did not “fit in,”[2] who their friends were, [3] physical weakness, [4] being short-tempered [more likely to disagree with others], and [5] clothing that they wore. In contrast, girls indicate that, in order, the most common reasons for being victimized or bullied during these years are: [1] they did not “fit in,” [2] facial or physical appearance, [3] who their friends were, [4] crying or being overly emotional, [5] being overweight, [6] clothing that they wore, and [7] getting good grades.

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Whatever the reasons may be that youth exclude others, give verbal harassment, or physically harm a peer, the need for adult supervision and guidance to minimize harm and teach appropriate social behaviors is critical for reducing the pain, harm, and humiliation that can occur due to bullying and youth violence. ideas and activities to prevent youth violence If youth violence is to be diminished and discouraged, what can parents and other adult community members do to prevent it from becoming a problem? • Organize opportunities for PTA groups, youth, and parents or the community to discuss bullying or youth violence and its consequences. Encourage the adoption of anti-bullying laws and policies within groups and communities. • Provide education for school faculty and administration, group leaders, students, family members, and the public on bullying and youth violence and its problematic consequences. • Share information about the negative effects of bullying and youth violence, including loss of respect, social and emotional difficulties, criminal behavior,

on the minds of moms | february • march twenty fifteen

and potential injury to others. • Establish clear consequences for violent or bullying behaviors and make it easy for young people or others to report such activities when they occur. Youth often do not report such things because they believe that adults will not take action when it is reported. • Take action and send a message that bullying or youth violence is taken seriously when it occurs. • Teach respect, emotional awareness, self-discipline, decision making, and compassion for others as approaches to building unity and belonging. These values and approaches contrast with disrespect, rudeness, belligerence, impulsiveness, and disregard for others’ well-being. • Set expectations that groups for youth will provide a positive atmosphere and activities that are positive and challenging, socially responsible, and respectful. Engage youth in positive activities to build relationships, such as community service or positive recreation. • Support all children who need to feel a sense of belonging and provide positive opportunities for inclusion in group activities. I once had the opportunity to interview Ed Lockwood, who was director of student activities for the Fargo Public Schools, and he emphasized, “We believe that if we want to change a behavior or culture, we have to change what we teach. What are we teaching? If we have parents or adults who are saying that it’s just ‘kids being kids’ or ‘I went through that as a kid,’ that paradigm of acceptance of bullying or hazing has to be changed. You can focus on cause-and-effect, but what we want to do is develop a pattern for teaching the right things.” I agree with the wise counsel shared by Ed Lockwood. Children will learn from adults and the environment that we create what kinds of behaviors toward others are acceptable. If we wish to discourage bullying or youth violence, then we need to teach that there is no place for such things in our homes, communities, and relationships with each other. Sean Brotherson, PhD, is a professor at North Dakota State University in child development and family science. He is married and the father of eight children.

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till often reminded by his siblings he is the baby of the family, Brad Nordstrom grew up on a farm near Hamilton, ND, with three older brothers and two sisters. With an Exercise Science degree and Masters’ thesis

published in the National Strength & Conditioning Research Journal, Brad is currently the owner of Maximum Performance & Fitness in Moorhead, MN. When he isn’t training clients and running his business, Brad enjoys fishing, camping, sports, and traveling. One of his goals for the coming year is to enjoy more date nights with wife of 18 years, Angie. He admits since becoming parents to Abby [11] and Levi [7] they have been few and far between—something all busy parents can relate to.

photos: rialee photography | sabrina kliniske

rad dad

brad nordstrom

rad dad

age 40, fargo.nd

i always feel compelled to act when…

you would never catch me…

I sense complacency! The moment we get complacent in any aspect of life is the moment we go backwards. Always strive for excellence; when you have a pitfall, fix the problem and move forward.

wearing a sweater!

the quirkiest thing about me… my ability to make up my own words to songs—ask my family or our clients and you’re bound to get a few laughs [or eye rolls].

one thing that can make any day better… a “HI DAD!” from my kids instantly changes my perspective on the day.

i wish i knew more about…

something every guy should have…

a nose-hair trimmer. You’ll be surprised how much easier it will be to breathe.

i would love to invent… a tear away film protectant for gym mats. Wiping mats all the time gets old. Wouldn’t it be cool to tear off a layer and the mat is ready for the next client?

i would one day like to travel to… Hawaii…and I am the first week of February! My wife wished to be on the beach for her 40th birthday so we decided to make it happen.

restoring cars. I am in the process of restoring a Chevy pick-up inherited from my dad, learning as I go.

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Love. Hope. Family. february • march twenty fifteen | on the minds of moms

rad dad i could spend hours… camping and fishing with my family…we just need to do this more.

a talent i wish i had… patience. Each year I am closer to acquiring that talent.

me into who I am today, instilling in me his work ethic and sense of humor. I miss him every day.

i want my kids to grow up knowing… the Golden Rule: treat others as you would expect others to treat you! If they can master this they will be successful in any adventure they choose.

the shoes that best describe me…

my wife and i always make time for…

cross-trainers. 14+ hours/day on my feet, good thing my feet don’t sweat.

hanging with our kids. We have movie nights, attend sporting events, and go camping in the summer. Angie and I don’t get much alone time but when we do it’s usually watching an hour of a favorite show together or discussing our day.

one thing on my bucket list… run MELT, our group personal training program, on a beach in Florida.

the day i would love to live again… the birth of my kids…most amazing experience anyone can witness!

my dad was right about…

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tequila, he told me it makes her clothes fall off. My dad was a man of few words…but his actions molded

on the minds of moms | february • march twenty fifteen

the funniest person i know… good question. In my eyes humor is determined through the interaction with an individual. I have many humorous conversations with family, friends, and clients and each one has their own unique trait that makes them funny.

Depression and Anxiety in Children by Abby Tow — Executive Director, Goetz Mental Wellness Initiative

Life is an emotional journey. Some days, months — even years — we are filled with happiness and hope, while others we spend feeling down and less energetic. And when anxiety and depression enter the picture, life gets downright complicated, especially when it affects children.

Signs and Symptoms

Unfortunately, depression and anxiety aren’t “adult problems.” One in eight children have depression or anxiety, according to the Anxiety and Depression Association of America, including 25 percent of Fargo area high schoolers.

• Difficulty concentrating

Detecting mental health concerns in children can be quite difficult. We might mistake a child’s anxiety for shyness, or depression for temper tantrums. Though many children do have strong personality characteristics, like being naturally introverted or more physically aggressive, for other children these are symptoms of a mind in distress.

• Depressed or irritable mood • Changes in sleeping habits • Change in grades, getting into trouble at school, refusing to go to school • Change in eating habits • Feeling angry or irritable • Mood swings

Why is anxiety and depression troublesome in children? Some of the first signs of mental health issues in children are decreased performance at school, refusal to attend school and acting out or retreating inward. These behaviors wreak havoc on children’s academic performance and further decrease their ability to make social connections.

• Feeling worthless or restless

Why is early intervention so important? Anxiety and depression profoundly affect our ability to function optimally. Getting a clinical diagnosis of anxiety or depression early is incredibly important so children can optimize brain development. An early diagnosis is particularly important if they are experiencing failing grades at school. Plus, the sooner anxiety and depression are detected, the less likely children are to experience the conditions again.

• Low self-esteem

How do you communicate with children experiencing anxiety or depression? Have an open-door policy. Ask questions about how they are feeling. What do their bad days feel like? What do their good days feel like? These questions will help you determine children’s distress level and when to seek professional help. What are the treatment options for children with anxiety and depression? There are many wonderful resources in our community that can help get children’s mental wellness back on track. These include: • School guidance counselor • Employee Assistance Programs (EAPs) • Mental health professional (therapist) • Family physician For more information, visit Imagine Thriving’s website at imaginethriving.org for a list of therapists, counselors and programs that support mental wellness in children and teens.

Our children are in crisis. But there is hope. It begins with you.

• Frequent sadness or crying • Withdrawing • Loss of energy • Thoughts of death or suicide If a child is experiencing one or a few of the symptoms listed it doesn’t automatically mean they have a problem. However, if symptoms last longer than a few weeks or months, it might be time to seek help. *Source: Anxiety and Depression Association of America

This message is brought to you by the generosity of GMWI donors. You can join the effort to lift up all children by donating to GMWI on Giving Hearts Day, join the GMWI Fargo Marathon Running Team, Cam’s Crew, or any day at imaginethriving.org.

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food for thought

photo: thuen studios | scott thuen

on the minds of moms | february • march twenty fifteen

food for thought

thai red curry shrimp soup shared by | kari klingsporn hitterdal

We are in the home stretch of winter and spring is just around the corner. To me, it is that time of year when I still crave homey tasting food like soup, but need to freshen up the flavor to remind me that warmer weather is on its way. This is my own recipe based off of a soup I ate at a restaurant years ago. I typically use shrimp, but cubed tofu, thinly sliced chicken, or even beef would work well in place of shrimp. This is almost entirely made up of ingredients I keep on hand. Ginger, lemongrass, and shrimp all come out of my freezer, while the chicken broth, red curry paste, fish sauce, coconut milk, sugar, and crushed red pepper are stocked in my pantry or refrigerator, leaving just zucchini squash, green onion, basil, cilantro, and limes for a short fresh list from the store. Don’t be afraid to amp up the soup with fresh or frozen vegetables, if you like.

need: 14 to 16 oz. chicken stock 1 small zucchini squash, cut into matchstick-size pieces [about 1.5 cups] 1 bunch green onions, bias cut into 1 ¼-inch slices 2 T grated fresh ginger 2 T minced lemongrass [can be found at local Asian markets in the freezer section] ¼ t crushed red pepper [optional] 12 oz. shrimp, peeled and deveined 1 14 oz. can coconut milk 2 T fresh shredded basil 1-3 T red curry paste, to taste 1-2 T brown sugar Fish sauce and lime, about 2 T each, or to taste Lime wedges and cilantro for garnish

how to: 1. Bring broth to a boil. 2. Add zucchini, green onion, ginger, lemongrass, and crushed red pepper. Return to a boil, reduce heat to a simmer. 3. Simmer uncovered, 3 minutes, stirring occasionally. 4. Add shrimp. Simmer, uncovered, 1-3 minutes, until the shrimp is opaque. 5. Add coconut milk, curry, brown sugar, basil, fish sauce, and a squirt of lime juice. Heat through, just a few minutes. Do not let boil! 6. Taste and adjust seasonings to your liking. Garnish with lime wedges and cilantro. serves 4-6

food for thought

kitchen & cooking essentials

story by | kari klingsporn hitterdal

www.onthemindsofmoms.com

t’s no secret I love to cook and could spend all day planning and cooking dinner. But I am a mom with a family who would like to eat dinner at a reasonable hour. So, I also like my shortcut go-to pantry items and kitchen appliances to make a healthy and satisfying dinner, fast and easy. One thing I have learned the hard way is to always buy the best quality I can afford, whether it is food or appliances. You are going to be much happier with your outcomes in the kitchen when you have good-quality tools to help you along. Here are

on the minds of moms | february • march twenty fifteen

my absolute favorites, tried and true, go-to gadgets, and convenience foods. food processor I know this is a beast of an appliance, but the value it adds in my kitchen more than makes up for the precious cabinet space it uses. This is not an appliance to skimp on; buy the best quality you can afford! Spending a little more now might pay off for decades, even generations: I have my mom’s high-quality processor from the 70’s that still works amazingly well. Food processors are great when you need to chop things in a uniform size [something I am not very good at by hand], whirling

food for thought together dips lightning fast, blending dough for baking, and grating cheese or vegetables quickly and not having to sacrifice skin off your fingers on the grater. My all-time favorite thing I have made in my food processor was baby food for my kids for pennies a serving! seapoint farms: veggie blends organic with edamame eat your greens This brilliant frozen blend of edamame, spinach, green beans, broccoli, and asparagus is a workhorse in my kitchen. I use it in fried rice, pasta dishes, soups, stir fries, Thai curries, casseroles, or as a simple side sautéed with a bit of soy sauce. Although this brand is my absolute favorite frozen vegetable blend I’ve tasted, any good frozen vegetable blend like this is great to keep on hand. When you’ve run out of fresh vegetables, frozen veggies are something healthy and easy to add to whatever you’re making for dinner. The best part about this veggie blend is that everything is cut in nice bite-size pieces, so you have no additional prep work! good-quality blender A great blender will puree soups and sauces easily, make healthy smoothies for breakfast, or blend pancake batter fast. From experience, let me tell you to bite the bullet and buy the best-quality blender your budget allows. rice cooker Take the guesswork out of making rice -- you really can’t ruin it in a rice cooker! Also, you can use your rice cooker for more than rice or steaming vegetables. Search the internet and you will find all kinds of uses

for your rice cooker. From baking bread to making cake, a rice cooker can be used much like a slow cooker. frozen raw shrimp Frozen raw shrimp thaws under a stream of cool water from your faucet in no time. It can easily be grilled, roasted in the oven, or stir fried, and then added to rice, pasta, and veggies. Stock up on “E-Z Peel” frozen raw shrimp when you see it on sale so you are ready to go when you’re in a pinch and need to make a meal in a hurry. In my book, shrimp is one of the most versatile food items that comes from the freezer and still tastes fresh! garlic press The garlic press works well for recipes that call for chopped garlic. Using a garlic press is way easier than peeling and chopping garlic by hand—especially when you have a lot of garlic you need to get through! tomato paste in a tube If you are buying the small cans of tomato paste and using only a few tablespoons of tomato paste for a recipe, only to throw the rest out, you need to stop! Tubes of tomato paste are ideal for recipes that only require a tablespoon or two—which almost always seems to be the amount my recipes call for. You simply squeeze the tomato paste out of the tube, replace the cap, and pop it in the fridge for the next use. They do not go bad quickly, and you have no more nasty cans and waste! The brand I really like to use is “Cento,” which is easily found in local grocery stores.

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february • march twenty fifteen | on the minds of moms

food for thought rubber scrapers A one-piece rubber scraper [or spatula] is the way to go! I always have about a half a dozen of them in my kitchen utensil crock that I keep right next to my cooktop. A variety of sizes makes them a great dependable tool, whether I am sautéing veggies, scraping pancake batter out of my blender, or scraping off plates before I put them in the dishwasher. The one-piece design is more hygienic than the two-part scrapers with the plastic head and the wooden handle. The two-piece designs can harbor all kinds of nasty stuff in the seams, are harder to clean, cannot be thrown in the dishwasher, and come apart easily. baguettes Buy fresh baguettes and store them in the freezer! I don’t bake much, especially bread. But a nice baguette fresh out of the oven is a great accompaniment to many meals. They can be used for a killer grilled cheese in a pinch, too. I like “New French Bakery” brand not only for the overall taste, but also because they freeze easily in the plastic wrappers they’re sold in.

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husband and kids My husband is a great sous chef, even an excellent cook in his own right, and one of my favorite things is cooking with him.. If we turn on some good music and maybe have a festive beverage while we cook, it is great quality time together that can almost pass as a date! The kids aren’t able to do everything my husband does in the kitchen, but finding ability-appropriate tasks for them to do really makes dinner prep and clean up go so

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on the minds of moms | february • march twenty fifteen

much faster. I’ll take any chance I get to spend quality time with my husband and kids. Recruit your family to help you out and enjoy some time together, too! clutter be gone My final go-to piece of advice is, get rid of all the unnecessary clutter in your kitchen. Are you really ever going to use the citrus sprayer your mom gave you for Christmas last year? Not all single-use appliances and gadgets are bad, but be realistic about what you use and what sits there for years taking up space. Keep only items you use frequently actually in your kitchen so you can make the best use of the space in your kitchen. Things you like to have, but maybe only use once or twice a year, such as a slow cooker, can be kept in a storage closet, out of your precious cabinet real estate. It’s all about making the most of your time and money, so although having great gadgets and products in the kitchen can be useful, I think it is also just as important to NOT have things in your kitchen that waste your time, money, and space. Kari's passion for for food, family, and fun has been with her since her upbringing on her beloved Big Floyd Lake near Detroit Lakes, MN. She earned Secondary Education degrees in both Social Studies and English from Concordia College in Moorhead, MN. She enjoyed a brief stint as a caterer and cooking instructor, but has proudly spent most of her motherhood as a stay-at-home mom. Her husband, Brent, and three children, Gunnar, Ava, and Ella, have all [mostly] been eager taste testers to whatever is on the table for dinner. However, these days, having a high schooler, a middle schooler, and a first grader is providing new challenges of feeding everyone homemade and healthy meals, as well as giving her oven an intense workout most weeknights!

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what to do, what to do… summer camps & activities 2015 FAITH Miracle Bible Camp MBC is a non-denominational Christian youth camp in "God's Backyard," a beautiful setting on Woman Lake in central Minnesota. MBC offers a full range of activities including swimming, fishing, canoeing, kayaking, campouts, archery, air rifle, ball sports, and nature education. We provide a fun and enriching environment in which kids can get to know the Creator. A small ratio of staff to campers ensures each child gets personal attention; staff undergo background checks and are trained to enhance safety and improve effectiveness. Your camper will come home with happy memories and a closer walk with God. Weekly youth camps are offered in June and July. Registration is open on-line now [www.miraclebible.com] or call for a mailed brochure and registration form. Inspiration Point Christian Camp + Retreat Center Located on Spitzer Lake, 90 minutes Southeast of Fargo/Moorhead, Inspiration Point offers an action-packed Christian camp experience for students in grades 1-12. Inspiration Point is known for its well-trained staff dedicated to quality service and care, modern accommodations, and excellent food service. Family camps are also available. Register online at www.ipoint. org or call 218.998.4572 for more information.

SPORT American Gold Gymnastics Offering classes for kids ages 18 months to 18 years. Classes develop physical awareness, work on coordination, balance, listening skills, fine and gross motor skills and incorporate lots of fun! For more info, www. americangoldgymnastics.com or 701.280.0400. British Soccer Camp Offering Introductory to Advanced Camps, July 20-24 for kids 3 years to 16 years old at the Kennedy Fields [4501 42nd St S, Fargo]. Coaching provided by British soccer coaches, 1 hour to all-day options, free jersey and ball, lots of fun! Register now through June 5. For more information visit www.fargosoccer. org or contact Matt Noah, matt@fargosoccer.org or 701.866.1949 Camp Summer Splash At Camp Summer Splash our campers will experience a variety of water activities. Campers, ages 6-11, will learn new swimming techniques and water safety. From swimming and diving to creating waves at the water park campers will have an outstanding time with new friends and staff. Come create a splash this summer at Family Wellness [2960 Seter Parkway, Fargo] August 3-7, from 9am-4pm [before and after care available]! Family Wellness and YMCA Members: $175/ Nonmembers: $195. Registration opens March 1st. For more info, contact Matt [701.234.7001 or matthew.melchior@ sanfordhealth.org] or visit www.familywellnessfargo.com/ schedules/.

Dragon Swim Camp Improve your swimming skills June 14-19 or June 21-26 on the MSUM campus in Moorhead, MN. Our camps focus on technique improvement for already proficient swimmers and fun. Swimmers will work on all four strokes, starts, turns, race strategy, motivation, and dryland training. Camp fee: $475/Resident $375/Commuter Register by March 15th and get a discount on your camp registration fee! Registration open until camp is full. For more information, contact Katie Diiro at diiro@mnstate.edu or visit www.dragonswimmingcamps.com. School’s Out Day Camp Our goal at TNT Kids Fitness and Gymnastics [2800 Main Ave, Fargo] for No Bummer Summer is to get students physically active and teach kids how to make healthy choices. We accomplish this by utilizing our gymnastics facility to the max, along with area parks, and pools at our weekly camp sessions. Our goal is building character, increasing confidence, and engaging in a healthy lifestyle. For more information contact Adam [701.365.8868 or adam@ tntkidsfitness.org] or visit tntkidsfitness.org. Super Summer Sports Camp This sports camp is packed with fun for campers of all ability levels, ages 6-11. Campers will learn and play sports of all sorts in a positive and encouraging environment at Family Wellness [2960 Seter Parkway, Fargo] June 8-12, from 9am-4pm [before and after care available]. This camp will focus on teamwork, sportsmanship and giving your best effort at all times. Campers will learn new skills, make new friends and have a blast exploring new sports and activities. We will cap the week off by going to a Red Hawks baseball game! Come join our Super Summer Sports Camp to start your summer out with a Homerun! Family Wellness and YMCA Members: $175/ Nonmembers: $195. Registration opens March 1st. For more info, contact Matt [701.234.7001 or matthew.melchior@sanfordhealth.org] or visit www.familywellnessfargo.com/schedules/.

SELF IAM I CAN Summer Camp for Girls 2015 marks the 25th year of the "I AM I CAN" Summer Camp for Girls, a day camp held at the Academie Agencie in downtown Fargo. This camp is designed to be a fun and learning-filled week [M-F from 10am-5pm] where the camper will develop her self-confidence and self-expression. The camp is open to girls ages 9-13, running June 22-26 and Aug 3-7. The seminars and events are age appropriate and include but are not limited to, attitude, social graces, table etiquette, visual poise and presentation, modeling, fitness, confidence- building, skincare, and wardrobe. To register call 701.235.8132 or visit www.academieagencie.com. Camp Family Wellness Camp Family Wellness will provide an exciting, hands on learning environment filled with activities and

resources healthy choices. Campers, ages 6-11, will have the opportunity to take age appropriate Family Wellness fitness classes, healthy cooking classes, and create their own fun projects. This camp will also provide our campers with a variety of activities in the gym and our swimming pool at Family Wellness [2960 Seter Parkway, Fargo] July 13-17, from 9am-4pm [before and after care available]. Brighten your summer with Camp Family Wellness! Family Wellness and YMCA Members: $175/ Nonmembers: $195. Registration opens March 1st. For more info, contact Matt [701.234.7001 or matthew.melchior@sanfordhealth.org] or visit www.familywellnessfargo.com/schedules/. ND Farmers Union Camp At North Dakota Farmers Union camps, attendees learn about the cooperative business model by organizing and operating their own store and selling snacks, beverages, and camp souvenirs. Campers are educated on real-life issues affecting their generation through hands-on lessons in volunteerism, government, cultural diversity, legislative process, mock trials, and patriotism. Held at Wesley Acres [near Valley City] and Heart Butte [near Elgin], sessions start June 14th and run through August 7th. 4 day, 3 night camps for grades 3-6: $75 cost; 5 day, 4 night camps for grades 7-12: $125 cost. Transportation provided. Registration starts March 1st. For more information, call 800.366.8331 or visit www.ndfu.org/youth-camps.php or www.facebook.com/ NorthDakotaFarmersUnionYouth. YMCA Camp Cormorant Enjoy the spirit and tradition of Camp Cormorant! Get the full camping experience with camps such as Water Ski, Adventure, Cooking, Horsemanship, Fishing, Ropes Course, Wilderness, Basketball, Canoe Trips, and more! Weekly Sessions run June 14 - August 14 for ages 7-15. For more information visit www.campcormorant.org. Register by March 28th for $25 off!

DANCE Fairydell Day Camp This day camp at Red River Dance & Performing Company [2921 Fiechtner Drive S, Fargo] is for children 3–5 years of age who love fairytales and dancing! Each day dancers will read a story, enjoy a snack, make an art project, participate in creative movement, and learn a dance that fits to the theme of the day. Family and friends are invited to watch a mini Fairydell Performance held the last day of class. Sessions run 9am-noon on June 1-3, July 6-8 and August 10-12. Camp fee: $75 per student/camp. For more information, contact 701.280.0004, info@redriverdance. com or visit www.redriverdance.com. Dance Mania Day Camp This is a camp for children 5-7 years of age who are constantly on the move! This Red River Dance & Performing Company [2921 Fiechtner Drive S, Fargo] camp is designed for children who are especially interested in Hip Hop. Dancers will warm up to fun upbeat kids' music, learn how to stretch, enjoy a snack, make a cool project, and learn a Hip Hop routine. Family and friends are invited to watch a mini Dance Mania Performance held on the last day of class. Sessions run 9am-noon on June 1-3 and July 6-8 and 12:30pm-3:30pm August 10-12. Camp fee: $75 per student/camp. For more information,

contact 701.280.0004, info@redriverdance.com or visit www. redriverdance.com. Momentum Dance Convention Held at Trollwood Performing Arts School [801 50th Ave SW, Moorhead], this is a jam-packed day of dance, with conventional classes in ballet, tap, lyrical, contemporary, jazz, musical theater, hip hop, and modern. Momentum was created to bring more dance opportunities and top regional talent to the Fargo-Moorhead area, spreading the love of dance in an innovative, collaborative way. Session runs July 25 & 26. For more information, email momentumdanceconvention@ gmail.com or call Red River Dance & Performing Company at 701.280.0004 or visit www.momentumdanceconvention.com.

EXPLORATION College for Kids College for Kids is a summer camp program for children ages 6 to 18, held on the beautiful MSUM campus in Moorhead, MN June 8-11, June 15-18, July 13-16, and July 20-23. Expert instructors teach classes that encourage exploration, adventure, and creativity while cultivating young people’s understanding and appreciation for a variety of topics. Art, nature, science, technology, space exploration, fitness and sports, writing, and more! Registration opens February 16. For more information visit www.mnstate.edu/collegeforkids or contact Shireen Alemadi at cfk@mnstate.edu. Creative Builders Camp If your child likes a challenge and is always wondering “why?” come find out at Family Wellness Creative Builders Camp. Children, ages 6-11, will be able to create and experiment with a variety of fun hands on science and engineering projects designed for kids at Family Wellness [2960 Seter Parkway, Fargo] July 20-24, from 9am-4pm [before and after care available]. Come explore why and how at Creative Builders Camp! Family Wellness and YMCA Members: $175/ Nonmembers: $195. Registration opens March 1st. For more info, contact Matt [701.234.7001 or matthew.melchior@sanfordhealth. org] or visit www.familywellnessfargo.com/schedules/. Fine Arts Camp Shakespeare, Picasso, and Mozart all had to start somewhere! Find your inner artist while exploring a variety of fine arts. Kids will have the freedom to express themselves through art, music and even acting. This summer camp will have you cheering for an encore at Family Wellness [2960 Seter Parkway, Fargo] August 10-14, from 9am-4pm [before and after care available]! Family Wellness and YMCA Members: $175/ Nonmembers: $195. Registration opens March 1st. For more info, contact Matt [701.234.7001 or matthew.melchior@sanfordhealth. org] or visit www.familywellnessfargo.com/schedules/. Wild Wilderness Camp Explore the world around you this summer during the Wild Wilderness Camp. Kids, ages 6-11, will learn about different animals, climates, and even survival skills. Come find your wild side at Family Wellness [2960 Seter Parkway, Fargo] June 22-26, from 9am-4pm [before and after care available]! Family Wellness and YMCA Members: $175/ Nonmembers: $195. Registration opens March 1st. For more info, contact Matt [701.234.7001 or matthew.melchior@sanfordhealth. org] or visit www.familywellnessfargo.com/schedules/.

just a thought

growing pains story by | kathleen wrigley

www.onthemindsofmoms.com

e have a teenager. Our daughter, Quinn, is 13. Teens are private, so I’m careful to respect her confidentiality. I don’t talk or post about her [publicly] without her consent. I have her blessing for this article, so here it goes…

The teenage years are laden with emotions—for both parents and their children. Like many of you, Drew and I are revisiting our adolescent years through our children, and trying our best to navigate the storm. For most teens, this stage is saturated with high

on the minds of moms | february • march twenty fifteen

waves and oodles of growing pains. Do you remember adolescence? I bet if I surveyed 100 people and asked if they’d re-live 13 all over again, 100 people would politely tell me where to go! If developmental growth spurts aren’t enough of a load, there’s a tug-o’-war to balance the newfound responsibilities and independence that come with budding adulthood and a child’s world of play, freedom, and dependence on parents. Change is hard. And everything—inside and out—is different for them, from schoolwork, to social and

just a thought home expectations, and to their physical appearance. These kids are evolving right before our eyes. And while there are days and moments that leave all of us [teens and parents] exasperated and wondering if this stage is permanent, the transformations occur in a series of rapid succession. Don’t blink. You’ll likely miss something.

qualifying time, and earned a spot at regionals. I sat in the stands wringing my sweaty hands, willing her every stroke to do her best. And she did. She cut time, and had two of her best races, but missed qualifying by just hundredths of a second. Every millisecond counts.

I held my breath and clenched my clammy fists. When she finished, she ripped off her goggles and looked up The angst and pains of growing are valid. to the timing board for validation. While still in the pool, she dropped her head in disappointment and the Teenagers have a bit of a reputation, and it’s too bad. tears came. I immediately recited my consoling pep talk: Because if we look past the mood-swings, eye-rolling, “But you improved your time, and swam your heart out.” stomping around, and curt responses, we can see just Or, “Great job, Honey. You had an awesome season, and how neat these kiddos are. It’s tricky, I know. But just have four more years ahead of you.” as they physically mature, so does their potential and possibility. I’m fairly certain our daughter, Quinn, is a typical 13 [almost 14] year old. She’s curious and nosy, loves to listen to adult conversations, then peppers us with questions about all she’s heard. She is silly and sarcastic, but sensitive, too. Quinn is so certain she knows best, and always up for a spirited debate. Teens explore their newfound social world, and care deeply about their appearance and approval from peers. Quinn is experimenting with mascara wands and clothes that stretch beyond her basketball shorts and tennies. These kids want to extend their arms wide, pushing parents away, yet need our hugs and presence for reassurance and security. Despite how they react, they want barriers and non-negotiable rules. It makes them feel safe. Much to parents’ dismay, teens typically know more about the world than we think, or want to believe. Often, teens have bad timing. They’re egocentric. That’s not meant to be a knock. It’s a fact and part of normal development. Quinn is usually ready to talk when there are 15 other things tugging at me, or when my eyelids are fighting to stay open at midnight.

Quinn is in eighth grade and just finished her second season of swimming on the high school team. She practiced hard, sometimes twice a day, and set high goals for herself this season: to qualify for high school state swim as a middle-schooler. She came close to a

Then I remembered: teens need space. She needs to cry and to absorb her disappointment in her own way. She didn’t look up at me. Instead, she gathered hugs and encouragement from her peers and coaches before she could bring herself to find my gaze in the stands. I sniffed back tears—for her—and stayed in my seat, waiting for her cue, when all I really wanted to do was dive in and hold her. After too many minutes, she looked up and found my forced smile and I held two thumbs up for her. She nodded and inhaled so deeply that I could see her chest swell, forcing tears away before turning back to the pool and her teammates. She couldn’t wallow for long. She needed to dig deep, to gear up for another event—which ended in the same way: a personal best, but our eighth grader fell just a smidgen short of qualifying for the state high school meet. february • march twenty fifteen | on the minds of moms

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There are moments during this developmental stage that we catch an image of the adult she’s morphing into. Drew and I are learning that when we loosen our grip on our baby girl, we witness—firsthand—the shift from little to big girl.

do you remember adolescence? i bet if i surveyed 100 people and asked if they’d re-live 13 all over again, 100 people would politely tell me where to go!

just a thought The next day we went for a long drive, just the two of us. She cried and I listened. Disappointment, defeat, and envy all competed for her attention. My niece—and Quinn’s best bud—Gracie [also 13] qualified for state [insert loud, celebratory whistle!]. Quinn was genuinely thrilled and proud of her cousin, but also a little envious of her success. Growing pains are both complex and essential. Parents can nudge towards a path, but ultimately it is the individual who decides the course to victory—whether it’s in the pool, on the court, in the classroom, or on the streets. After Gracie qualified, I got a message from my sisterin-law, responding to an earlier text from Quinn. I scrolled back to read the conversation thread. In it Quinn congratulated her cousin, offered her new fast-skin suit for Gracie to compete in, and gave the combination to her locker in Bismarck for Gracie to use at the state swim meet. Quinn and a couple of her friends—other teammates who didn’t meet their qualifying times—went to the event, sat in the stands,

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Things didn’t turn out the way Quinn hoped, but she made the best out of the way things did turn out. And at the team banquet her coaches presented her with the “Awesome Attitude” trophy for exemplifying an upbeat, positive attitude throughout the season. This glimpse of her character gives us unlimited optimism for her future, even if her eye-rolling makes us dizzy in the meantime. Growing pains. They’re real. And they hurt. Parents get the bonus of experiencing adolescence all over again as we cheer [and pray] from the sidelines, while watching our children sprout from tiny tots to almost-adults, knowing too well that stretching is uncomfortable, but required for full growth. Kathleen serves on a number of community and statewide boards, committees, and leadership councils, and enjoys volunteering in church, in her kids’ school, and community programs/events. Kathleen is passionate about victims’ rights and helping to promote balance and fairness in the criminal justice system. She is also deeply interested in advocacy, education, programs, and research relating to the protection of children. Fitness is an integral part of Kathleen’s daily routine and helps her sustain her own mental health! Kathleen’s column “ just a thought” has been a regularly occurring piece in “on the minds of moms” since 2009. This Philadelphia native is married to a fourth-generation North Dakotan and ND’s Lieutenant Governor, Drew, and proudly considers North Dakota her home. They have three children. Before becoming a mom, she was director for Bismarck’s Child Advocacy Center and was a speechwriter. Kathleen received a BS from Pennsylvania State University and completed her graduate studies at Temple University in Philadelphia.

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and cheered wildly, waving homemade banners. They epitomized good sportsmanship.

on the minds of moms | february • march twenty fifteen

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together for change story by | sheri kleinsasser stockmoe

an you imagine how it would feel to want more than anything to help your struggling child, but not knowing how to do that, and then finding a helping hand to walk you through every step of the way? And for a child struggling with mental illness, can you imagine how different his future would be if given the gift of early intervention? Can you imagine? Well, Sarah Olsgaard, Amber Neal, Abby Tow, and Nancy Jordheim are done imagining… they’re part of the team making it happen. the need Two years ago Beth* was diagnosed with depression and anxiety. “I’ve definitely had it longer than I’ve been diagnosed,” the personable, articulate high school senior shares. And her mother, Jackie,* agrees. “I think anxiety has always been there,” Jackie explains. “Even in second grade, I remember the teacher saying at her conference, ‘She’s such a good little citizen, she's so friendly, she's such a good listener, but she's so hard on herself.’ We'd tell Beth to ‘relax’ and ‘just chill out.’ But her brain was telling her, ‘I need more, I need to be better, I have to be perfect.’” Anxiety and depression are common mental illness disorders. Approximately four million children and *names changed for privacy reasons

adolescents like Beth live with serious mental illness. The result of the World Mental Health Survey is startling: it found that in high-income countries, like the United States, fewer than half of adolescents with a mental health problem receive treatment. “We need to view children holistically,” says Abby Tow, executive director of Goetz Mental Wellness Initiative [GMWI]. “It’s our responsibility as a community to help each other and to create a better environment for students. Great society change comes from united communities.” Using their time, career, talents, and experiences, Nancy, Amber, Sarah, and Abby are helping drive a grassroots community effort to educate and remove barriers to students’ mental wellness through GMWI and its action project called Imagine Thriving. “There's a quote that goes like this: ‘If you're able to reach your goals and dreams alone, you haven't dreamed big enough,’" says Stephanie Goetz, president and founder of GMWI. “At GMWI and Imagine Thriving we dream really, really big! We absolutely need these women 100%. GMWI and Imagine Thriving are far bigger than just one person and these women prove that.” Sources: nimh.nih.gov/health/publications/anxiety-disorders-inchildren-and-adolescents/index.shtml national.deseretnews.com/article/1947/depression-in-adolescentsis-increasing-these-are-the-signs-that-can-help-you-fight-it.html who.int

together for change

www.onthemindsofmoms.com

the facilitator

Nancy Jordheim has always been a worker. This mama of two grown sons has been in education her entire career with stints as a counselor, principal, and administrator. It’s not surprising that as retirement from Fargo Public Schools loomed she had no plan to be idle. “I am a faithful person and I decided I was going to listen hardest to the first invitation to make a difference that came to me with regard to being retired,” she states matter-of-factly. That first thing came in the form of a request. “I had a vision in mind for how I could play a part in bridging

on the minds of moms | february • march twenty fifteen

the gap between students struggling in our schools and the mental health professionals who could help them,” says Stephanie. She asked Nancy how she could offer financial assistance to young people for medications and doctor appointments that might not be available to them otherwise. Could it be done? Nancy was going to help find the answer. “I pulled together three counselors, one from an elementary, middle, and high school,” she recalls. “In that meeting, those counselors told us about multiple needs, ‘We really have kids that need transportation

together for change to get to places they can’t get to; families don’t always know how get help; often by the time we talk with a student, they are at the highest level of crisis.’” As a counselor herself, Nancy knew when an individual is at the highest level of crisis, it’s the hardest to be logical and obtain help. “Our counselors do wonderful things, amazing things. They help a lot of kids; the majority of kids,” she says. “But it became clear that our counselors needed more resources.” Looking for the opportunity to provide a couple hundred dollars to students in need suddenly morphed into a much larger opportunity…an opportunity to educate… an opportunity to intervene sooner…an opportunity to help…an opportunity to provide a focus on mental wellness in our schools. GMWI was taking its first steps toward reality. “I think the biggest thing educators have in common is they want to make a difference in the future, and the future is the young people that we serve,” Nancy says. “That’s why you see educators give incredible amounts of time, money and emotional energy—because they know it makes a difference. When they run up against a roadblock, they get scared, worried and look for more resources, more opportunities, more things that can help young people be the best they can be.” In February 2013 Nancy joined the GMWI board. Together the board started to craft what GMWI would entail. The main goal would be providing students and their parents/guardians with information needed to thrive. To do this most effectively GMWI needed to partner with

special from Jordheim family

the schools and mental health professionals to offer early intervention and assistance to students and families. Using a program founded in the St. Cloud, MN, school district as a template, GMWI started making its own tweaks. “The model in St. Cloud is very crisis centered,” Abby says. “We really wanted a focus on education, prevention, and access to care.” Programming would include three key areas: an Access to Care Fund, to help defray the financial cost of mental health care for families in need; Student Wellness Facilitators, funded by GMWI and employed by the school districts with a focus on finding the appropriate mental health help outside of the school for students dealing with mental health issues; and creating mental health awareness and understanding by educating students, parents, and the entire community to recognize the signs and symptoms of those suffering with mental illness, the help available, while dispelling the stigma of mental illness. The plan was in place; now they needed funding, which could only come from community donations. Two days before Giving Hearts Day 2013 [a 24-hour online give-a-thon hosted by Dakota Medical Foundation and Impact Foundation] GMWI was launched and participated in the annual fundraiser. According to Nancy, “The train left the station!” The community response was amazing. They had the initial funding and they could now move forward. In January 2014 the first Student Wellness Facilitator accepted a position in the Fargo school district.

together for change

www.onthemindsofmoms.com

the frontline

Amber Neal knew she wanted to be a social worker, but the road to get there took some time. After graduating from North Dakota State University she got married and moved to Grand Forks. Working at a local psychiatric hospital there provided her first exposure within the mental health profession. The couple later moved to West Fargo and Amber took a position as a case manager at Luther Hall, a residential treatment center for adolescents in Fargo. “I really liked the adolescent population,” she says. “That's where I'd like to be. Adolescents versus adults? I choose adolescents.” While she was working at Luther Hall, her marriage ended. “I was like, ‘I’ve got to do something,’” she remembers. 64

on the minds of moms | february • march twenty fifteen

This single mom to Hayden, now 10, and Hudson, now 6, decided it was time to go to school and get her Masters in Social Work. “I finally took that leap, because I was forced to...I had to! I was the only income provider in my home.” While Amber may have felt “forced” to get her masters, it’s obvious it is the profession she was destined for. In January 2014 she was hired as the first Student Wellness Facilitator for the Fargo school district. Amber is a school employee whose salary is provided by GMWI. Her position is the first of its kind and she has taken an invaluable role in modifying the St. Cloud model and creating a program that fits the needs of our community’s students, families, and schools.

together for change As a Student Wellness Facilitator, Amber is able to dig deeper into a student’s life. “The student’s suffering often comes out in school terms like truancy, failing grades, and whatnot. But lots of times after they come to us and we do the assessment, we find more,” she explains. “There's a lot going on in these kids' lives that sometimes teachers don't know. We’re able to provide education to the students and staff and work one-on-one with the students and their families to get them to the care they need.” As Amber can attest, there is no such thing as a “typical” day in social work. Her day includes meeting with students, parents, and community mental health providers. She may be providing education to elementary students about taking care of themselves. She may be meeting with a student who has been referred to her by a school counselor. She may be attending an appointment with a student and mental health professional. Or she may be helping parents navigate the intimidating paperwork required to get their child the help he needs. Regardless of the task, the focus is the same. “I always tell my parents and the kids, at the end of the day our goal, all of us together, is to help a student be successful and a family be successful,” she states. “There are resources out there that can help people thrive and be successful, but sometimes navigating and finding the appropriate things needed can be hard. We are lucky, because we get to help them do that. Bottom line, help is possible. Sometimes you just need another person to help you and support you.” This fall additional Student Wellness Facilitators were added, a second in the Fargo school district and one in Moorhead Area Public Schools. When the proper funding is secured, West Fargo Public Schools will have one as well. Research has found that mental illness can contribute to higher alcohol, tobacco, and illicit substance use, adolescent pregnancy, school dropout, and delinquent behaviors. With each of our metro school districts having a Student Wellness Facilitator as dedicated as Amber, we can be confident our kids will get the help they need when they need it. “We always say meet them where they're at,” Amber says with a smile. “We have to be available when they're available. If Mom is working, and they can't meet until 4:30 or 5, then we have to be available then. We don't work traditional hours by any means and we're definitely not sitting at our desks all day long. We're

out and about, and over the summer we have time to help with students and families because, obviously, May 31st their mental health needs don’t end. We get to bridge that summertime gap, too.” Attending the Conference on Advancing School Mental Health solidified for Abby a huge reason why GMWI is finding success in our schools. “We are incredibly lucky to have the school district leadership and the school counselors we have,” she states. “People at the conference couldn’t believe what we are doing in collaboration. It’s ground breaking. Our students are viewed as more than just test scores. That doesn’t happen everywhere.”

from the for together inside change out

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the professional

GMWI launched its community action project, Imagine Thriving, in the summer of 2013. The mission of Imagine Thriving is to educate students, parents, and the community about mental wellness. Because they are entirely funded by community donations and grants, marketing and spreading the word of their mission and needs is critical to continuing the good work they are doing. Sarah Olsgaard, mama to Dylan [4] and Bergen [10 months], and an account manager at Flint Communications, has turned a work project into so much more. “Two summers

on the minds of moms | february • march twenty fifteen

ago Flint started a pilot intern program,” Sarah states. “We’ve always taken interns on randomly throughout the year, but we've never really had a program for them. We thought it would be great to have them work hands-on with a non-profit so they could get a really great agency experience.” With Sarah’s guidance and expertise, seven interns started work on the Imagine Thriving website, logo, and supplemental marketing materials, such as brochures. “We helped get the brand off the ground,” she proudly says.

together from thefor inside change out As Sarah worked, the Imagine Thriving mission took root with her personally. “I really believe in what they do,” she says. “I don’t have kids in school yet, but as a mom, to hear that some of these children who are struggling are getting dismissed as being naughty or misbehaving or just not caring about school or academics...that’s heartbreaking to me.” And the statistics speak volumes. “One in ten Fargo area high school students have attempted suicide! That is so alarming! And really quite sad.” she says. “Education is key to erasing the stigma of mental illness and getting these kids the help they deserve. Imagine Thriving is that first line of defense.” Abby sees Sarah as a trusted resource to offer an objective recommendation and ideas on ways to raise awareness. But as much as Abby sees Sarah giving to Imagine Thriving, Sarah sees it the other way. “This organization, I feel like more than anything, has educated me. I’ve learned more from them than they’ve probably learned from me. They’ve opened my eyes to some really important things.” Sarah’s involvement with Imagine Thriving wouldn’t be possible without her company’s willingness to give back. “I’m grateful to work for a company that really values different organizations that make up our community.” Flint isn’t alone. Other companies and their employees in the Fargo-Moorhead area have given to Imagine Thriving. Donations through Bell State Bank’s Pay It Forward Fund allowed for the student board to host the first Imagine Thriving community and family event at Rheault Farm this past October. The Imagine Thriving Student Board is a group of volunteers representing local high schools. They educate other students, community groups, and businesses about overcoming struggle and thriving. Beth joined the group after attending her first meeting. “I love it!” Beth says with a smile. “I am super passionate about the message. We're not just having meetings and talking about things. We're going out into the community and educating people to know what these mental illnesses are and how you can get help and that getting help shouldn't be scary and it's not something you should be ashamed to talk about. There's nothing wrong with you!” Beth and her Student Board peers also understand this education is something we all can benefit from. “This

is important because it affects everyone. If you have a brain this can affect you or affect someone you know! Everyone knows someone who has been affected by mental illness. What makes us different is we're not necessarily suicide prevention. We are trying to help the step before that.” Beth understands that personal donations are what drive Imagine Thriving. “I think people need to know this is making a change,” she says. “They want to know that their money is going to do something good. I can tell them it's personally made a huge positive effect in my life and I can't even imagine how many other kids’.”

together for change

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the perspective

Abby, mama to Ava [14] and Beckett [5], was working at a local nonprofit when the opportunity to become Executive Director of GMWI came available. “I have a passion for the work here,” she states. Why? Abby takes a deep breath and continues, “When I was in high school, I struggled with anxiety. Eventually it snowballed into depression. It was horrifying. I didn't understand what was going on. I just thought I was bad; like a bad seed; morally wrong. I had very good friends. I came from a good family. I didn't look like somebody who would be struggling. My teachers liked me, so they ignored that I was skipping. I could pass my classes without good 68

on the minds of moms | february • march twenty fifteen

attendance. Then it became very apparent, I had to drop out before I was expelled for truancy. My parents brought me to a doctor. I remember this huge ah-ha moment when he showed the list of anxiety symptoms. I understood, "There's nothing wrong with me as a person, I had a chemical imbalance, and it was making me feel this way." There was so much healing, just in that instant, knowing that I wasn't a bad person.” While Abby and her family recognized her anxiety and depression were out of her control, it didn’t erase the stigma of mental illness. “It was incredibly embarrassing.” she recalls. “If I would have had cancer at that

together for change age, my parents would have been supported by friends and family. Instead it was a big secret. Relatives didn't know. We all lied to people about what I was doing, why I didn't graduate, or that I did graduate.” Imagine Thriving is creating change. “I feel like there is an absolute reason why I went through what I went through,” she says. “I feel like I've come full circle, and there is a lot of healing in it. I know there are students who won't ever get to the point where I was because of what Imagine Thriving is doing. That brings me a great deal of peace.” The future vision of Imagine Thriving includes an expanded presence in our metro-area schools, additional support for parents and guardians, fine-tuning the existing model and expanding the initiative to other schools in our area. “Everything that has happened to this point, the three Student Wellness Facilitators, the Imagine Thriving education piece, the Student Board, the Access to Care Fund, the support groups that are starting now, all of that is because of this community,” declares Abby. “It is a direct result of the kindness and generosity of moms, dads, grandmas, uncles, and businesses in this community. The expression ‘It takes a village to raise a child’ is entirely true.’” And you and I can continue to make all of this possible.

just imagine thriving “Imagine what that looks like and what that feels like for a young person,” Abby implores. “We want everyone to be able to imagine themselves thriving, and there are so many who literally cannot envision what it would look like or feel like to be successful. Everyone has the potential…and deserves to have the resources available so they can thrive." The feelings associated with watching her daughter struggle with anxiety and depression are impossible for Jackie to fully describe. “It isn’t easy,” she says as she chokes back tears. “She’s my baby and I just want to make it go away. I'm sure some parents don't want to ask for help or talk to their friends or anything because they're either embarrassed or wondering ‘what did I do to cause this?’ There's always that guilt; moms feel guilty about everything. But sometimes you can’t make it go away on your own.” Just like you wouldn’t let your child sit and bleed when she needed stitches, you shouldn’t overlook or dismiss the signs of mental illness. The Goetz Mental Wellness Initiative and Imagine Thriving are here to help. It’s up to us to keep this focus and response on mental wellness in our community.

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february • march twenty fifteen | on the minds of moms

together for change

10 essentials to thriving Thriving isn’t about being perfect; it doesn’t mean you don’t have problems. Thriving is the ability to get through struggle and grow, without hurting yourself, without becoming stagnant, without cutting, without turning to drugs and alcohol. Thriving is about getting through it, becoming strong and growing from the experience. The Essentials to Thriving by Dr. Read Sulik give all of us the skills to overcome stress and trauma, to IMAGINE THRIVING! Incorporate this in your life and your child’s. SLEEP Create a regular sleep schedule for your child that is consistent. EAT Provide your child [or encourage older child to seek out] a healthy, well-balanced diet with few processed foods and the right ratio of healthy proteins, fats, and carbohydrates. MOVE Encourage your child to move! Take a walk! Throw a ball around! Staying physical improves the body’s “recovery time” during moments of over-stimulation and anxiety. BREATHE Remind your child to breathe. Teach them about diaphragmatic breathing—with practice, it calms the body and mind.

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THINK Teach your child to welcome positive thoughts. Break the cycle of negativity. Encourage them to try and slow racing thoughts. SPEAK Help your child find the right words to communicate their innermost thoughts and feelings. Be gentle and

on the minds of moms | february • march twenty fifteen

encourage them to share with you or give them your permission to speak with another trusted adult. CONNECT Engage and support. Check in with your child. Text them a “Hello! I’m thinking about you!” or take them out for a hamburger. They want to be with you more than they will admit. BUILD Help the child or teen build experiences that are meaningful and do not overstimulate. Positive experiences will open young minds to all the wonderful possibilities the world holds for them. Plus you will create lifelong memories. TEND TO THE SPIRIT Encourage your child to find activities that help them find their peace. Whether it’s art, nature, faith, music, athletics, writing, reading, or meditation. These kinds of things help to create mindfulness that will grow the child’s sense of self and inner wellbeing. Meditation, the practice of mindfulness, is especially helpful and highly effective treatment for anxiety and depression. SEEK Help your child SEEK THRIVING and know when to seek help if your child is struggling. “If things are getting in the way of your child thriving, of achieving their optimum potential, that’s why there are adults in the world. Help them navigate through,” says Dr. Read Sulik. For more information and valuable resources, visit: www.ImagineThriving.org.

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Connect with North Dakota farm women at: facebook.com/CommonGroundNorthDakota february • march twenty fifteen | on the minds of moms

over flow ing

ready, set, grow

ff u t s â&#x20AC;&#x2122; s d i rk u o y g n i rs z a e y e h organi t through

ready, set, grow

story by | patricia carlson

Have you ever: • Nearly died from the pain caused by stepping on a random Lego piece? • Wasted an entire day sorting through mismatched socks, mittens, shoes, and anything else that’s supposed to be a pair? • Been involved in a hit-and-run with a bicycle in your garage? • Just bagged it all up in frustration and dropped it off at the nearest charity [only to kick yourself months later when you realize your child’s baptism gown was among the chucked stuff]? Keeping track of, organizing, and, inevitably, storing your kids’ ‘stuff’ is one of the most annoying and aggravating aspects of parenthood. Unfortunately, up until a certain age, kids really can’t be held responsible for neatly packing away their most-treasured items. Just getting them to put away their clean, folded clothes is enough of a battle. There is an easier way. We promise. Check out these tried and true sorting and storing tips so your precious items don’t get the slip and you stay sane.

ready se wondering where to put all of your wee one’s onesies? try hanging a cloth shoe organizer in the closet. these organizers typically have six “shelves” to use up and since onesies don’t weigh much, you don’t have to worry about it collapsing.

wee ones [0–18 months]

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his age is all about clothes, clothes, and more clothes. If you’re new to mothering, your baby’s room probably features freshly folded onesies, neatly stacked blankets, and adorable layettes properly stowed in drawers. Some of them may even still have tags on them. This is the most blissful time in your baby’s closet, trust us.

do the dirty work You may be tempted to just move the bins and boxes to the basement, attic, or garage. Out of sight, out of mind, right? Don’t. Properly caring for and managing your baby’s clothes takes work. At the very least, you will need to follow these three steps to stay ahead of the game:

they grow up so fast The most difficult task of organizing and storing your wee one’s outfits is how quickly she will outgrow her clothes. Sometimes you’re lucky if you get your child to wear it once before it’s tossed in the ‘too small’ pile. It’s even worse if you plan on keeping the clothes for another baby down the road. Soon, that gorgeous nursery that you so painstakingly and lovingly organized for your precious bundle’s arrival is overflowing with bins and boxes full of teeny, tiny outfits.

1. launder, then sort All of the clothes you need to store should be clean and sorted by size. We’re not just talking the size it says on the tag. By this point, you’ll realize that not all 3 – 6 months clothes are created equal. Use your mom judgment and place all similarly sized pieces in piles. Keep outfits together and just do your best with those pesky socks. 2. make a donation pile Do you seriously need to keep every item your baby wore or are there some pieces that really are past their prime? Use your own discretion, but consider donating them to a local charity. If the clothes are still in great condition and you simply don’t want them, you might consider becoming a consignor at a children’s re-sale shop. 3. store items in clear, labeled, airtight totes You might be tempted to grab whatever bin is on sale at the local big-box store, but a clear bin with a click-lock lid is the way to go. You’ll always be able to see what’s inside and your items will stay safe and dry in case of an emergency. Don’t forget to write the size of the clothes on the bin’s label!

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on the minds of moms | february • march twenty fifteen

set grow ready, set, grow

buy a label maker! these dynamic gizmos make corralling items a snap. type in a topic, print it out, and then secure it to your storage bin, shelf, or drawer. at roughly $30, it’s a wise investment with many returns!

tots

[18 months–3 years]

t’s a toy-riffic time to be a tot! There are so many cool gizmos and gadgets for kiddos these days. From retro wooden gems to high-tech tablets and everything in between, chances are toys will be scattered in nearly every room of your house. Don’t be afraid to set some guidelines with your youngster about how to use his toys and how to put them away. Although he may not be able to follow through with all of your directions, doing a nightly ‘clean up’ together is a great way to get everyone on the same page. bins, bins, and more bins One of the biggest challenges of organizing toys at this age is the sheer variety of playthings you’ll have. From arts and crafts items to building blocks, it’s easy to feel overwhelmed when your tot moves from one activity to the next every ten minutes or so. The strategy here is to compartmentalize the toys and encourage your

child to pull out one activity only after helping you clean up the previous activity. This doesn’t always work, but when things do end up in a giant toy pile you’ll be better prepared to re-organize them. Again, grab your clear, lock-tight bins [you’ll need a variety of sizes] and get sorting. How you store them beyond that is up to you. Some people love to put the bins into a high-end toy storage chest while others simply stack them in a nearby closet. You just want to make sure that they’re accessible so your kids can put them away and feel proud of themselves. keep it simple One other piece of advice; don’t waste time looking at all the ‘organizing’ hacks on Pinterest. Most of them are highly impractical and will just frustrate you when they inevitably fail.

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ready se if you’re starting from scratch, check out the container store website – stat! this retail storage chain has everything you can possibly imagine [at every price point] to keep things tidy. www.containerstore.com

preschoolers [3–5 years]

be a change agent If you’re already aces at this, bravo! Hopefully your kiddo has already noticed and performs little acts of kindness daily to keep her toys in tip-top shape. But if cleaning up is a challenge, NOW is the time for both of you to become better at caring for your cargo. YOU, the parent, need to be a role model for the behavior you expect.

It’s important to remember that children like the feelings associated with completing a task, and they need to experience these feelings to grow into confident adults who feel they can overcome challenges. It may be hard to see it now, but these early life lessons are helping develop your child’s self-esteem, accountability, and determination.

We have just the right tips to kickstart your routine: • invite him to join you If you’re going to put away your clothes, ask your child to join you. Give him an easy task like pairing socks and then say you’ll repay the favor in his room. • be specific “Clean your room” can have lots of meanings to a four-year-old. Do you mean grab the vacuum? Or put my books on a shelf? Instead of barking a generic order, get detailed. For example, “Could you please pile all your stuffed animals in that corner?” Now he knows exactly what items you want picked up and where they should be placed. • make it a party! Who says cleaning up has to be a chore? Play DJ and blast some high-energy tunes to invigorate you and your kiddo. Even better, challenge your little one to finish a task before the song is over!

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ere’s the hard truth. If you’re a slob, your kid will probably be one, too. If you don’t make your bed, your preschooler won’t. If you leave your dirty clothes on the floor, so will she. If you let the sink pile high with dishes, your son will do the same. If you don’t make yourself accountable for caring for your things, how on earth do you expect your preschooler to learn the importance of taking care of her toys?

on the minds of moms | february • march twenty fifteen

set grow the average american throws away about 65 pounds of clothing per year. source: environmental protection agency

big kids [6–9 years]

his is a big transitional time for the toys your tyke likes. Gone are the pre-school-based learning toys and in come lots of early reader books, high-tech gizmos and toys of a thousand pieces [we’re looking at you, Legos]. With the influx of more sophisticated stuff, it’s time to gather your kids for a purge. Whether you’re planning a garage sale or consigning or donating to a charity, getting rid of old toys is a crucial component to winning the storage and organization war. teach giving You may be tempted to go it alone, but this is a great opportunity to talk with your kids about those who have too much stuff and kids who have too little and how your kids can help. You may be surprised at their compassion and generosity when they realize they can make a younger child happy simply by donating a toy they used to play with.

Don’t forget the important last step: involve your children in the garage sale, consignment, or donation. They will learn new skills no matter which route you

clothes call While you’re at it with the toys, why not give your kiddos’ old clothes the same treatment? Again, this can turn into a great bonding experience with your children as they comb through the teeny, tiny outfits their once teeny tiny bodies fit into. Encourage them to keep a few items that they really like or envision sharing with their own kids one day. Otherwise, the lesson about the haves and have-nots applies here, as well. And if your kids are curious about the environment too, there is a definite consumption factor you can include.

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After giving your kids a bin, try these two methods to get them to pitch in to the cause: • Ask them to pick out a specific number of toys to donate. • Tell them they can keep two toys from the bin and the rest will be donated.

choose and will walk away feeling like they made a difference that day.

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february • march twenty fifteen | on the minds of moms

ready se if you haven’t started using cloud-based storage for your kids’ movies, music, pictures, and even books, now is the time to start. cloud storage offers immediate off-site housing for all the things we used to stuff into entertainment centers

tweeners [10–12 years]

y this age, your kids should know a thing or two about responsibility. Maybe you have a weekly chore chart that helps your children keep track of who’s doing what and when. Or you dole out an allowance or reward to them when certain things get done. However you go about reinforcing their positive behavior, make sure you actually check their work and that your expectations are met. A reward for a mediocre effort doesn’t help them as they creep toward adulthood.

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make good on your investment One of the easiest ways to help your child be accountable for his possessions and his actions is to designate specific areas for specific items. Make a rule that if items are not put back in these areas your child will lose the

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on the minds of moms | february • march twenty fifteen

privilege of using them; this goes for everything from sports equipment to idevices. The idea here is twofold. One, your investment won’t get destroyed. Two, your child will learn a consequence for a poor decision. It may not be easy to follow through with this at first, but you deserve to have a neat home where the things you worked hard to provide are treated with respect.

set grow the average dorm room is roughly 12-by-19 feet. split between two people [there will be a roommate], that adds up to just 114 square feet of living space per person.

teens [13–18years]

gh. Just thinking about your daughter leaving for college leaves you sick to your stomach. The empty house. The quiet nights. The lingering smell of yummy scented body lotion. Then, when you’ve finally moved her into her dorm room, the reality hits. Your daughter has a LOT of stuff. What are you going to do with it all? Some of you may decide to keep it all and leave it right where it is. That’s cool. Others may push a few belongings aside and use it as a guestroom. That’s fine, too. But somewhere along the line, you’re going to need to pack up the 18 years of your kid’s life and store it somewhere. Where do you even begin?

Patricia Carlson is a freelance writer who specializes in developing and writing strategic website content and email marketing materials for businesses across the country. Patricia’s roster of clients includes a diverse group of organizations from banks to fitness facilities: Redstone Federal Credit Union, Active Screening, i1Biometrics, Buzz360, and Fit Revolution, to name a few. Her editorial work appears in publications nationwide, including Minnesota Parent, FOP Journal, On The Minds of Moms, and Lake and Home Magazine. When she’s not interviewing sources, Patricia is enjoying breakfasts on the beach with her two young children. Keep track of her work at www.patriciacarlsonfreelance.com.

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trinkets and toys Believe it or not, but these reminders of a time gone by may still be some of the most important possessions your child owns. Remember Andy in “Toy Story 3”? He just couldn’t bear the thought of Woody, Buzz, and the whole crew going to live somewhere else. Treat these things with kid gloves. And get back to your bins. As you wrap each item in packing paper, write it down on a sheet of paper. Then when you’ve tucked the last trinket away, tape the list to the side of the bin with clear packing tape. If packed properly, most bins filled with toys and trinkets should be able to be stored in an attic or garage. Bins filled with stuffed animals, however, should be kept where humidity is less of an issue.

example, anything related to school or sports, like a letterman’s jacket or a band windbreaker, should be kept together. Likewise, any clothes you think your teen has outgrown should be binned together. Label everything clearly and, one day when you and your home-from-college kid are ready, go through everything for the keep, toss, donate ritual. You should be pretty good at that by now, right?

clothes If your kid left it behind, there’s a good chance he doesn’t want it anymore. But do yourself, and him, a favor and separate things into more manageable groupings. For february • march twenty fifteen | on the minds of moms

oh, by the way

a new year… again story by | deb uglem

www.onthemindsofmoms.com

backward instead of forward. I’m taking a cue from our next “holiday” [or at least from the movie inspired by the holiday]. February is here and so is Groundhog Day.

ere we go, folks. A fresh start, a new day, the next chapter—all things we tell ourselves as we move into In the spirit of looking backwards, here is your short the New Year. I started the year the same way I always history lesson. The celebration of Groundhog Day began do, with high hopes and anticipation for…well, I don’t with Pennsylvania's earliest settlers. They brought know. This year I was stumped. I had come up empty. Nothing. Zero. Goose Egg. What is 2015 going to bring for with them the legend of Candlemas Day, which states, me? I had been wracking my brain over the last couple "For as the sun shines on Candlemas Day, so far will the snow swirl in May…" That is a pretty fancy way of weeks. What great adventure or unbelievable change saying if Phil the groundhog sees his shadow there will will I be making? What crazy feat is going to wow my be six more weeks of winter weather. If he does not see friends and impress my children? Oh, the possibilities his shadow there will be an early spring. In short, you are endless and sometimes a little overwhelming. Now, could be stuck in the same spot for the next six weeks. I had come up with the usual suspects. You know, the Fun, cute story for children, right? good old standbys. For instance, exercise, eat better, read more, keep up on laundry…blah, blah, blah. But I remember how my kids loved it. When they were in grade it is in the quiet, slow pace of the New Year that I school they would run into the house yelling and, dare realize I am going to look at 2015 differently. I am going I say, almost excited about the fact that Punxsutawney 80

on the minds of moms | february • march twenty fifteen

oh, by the way Phil had seen his shadow. I would reply with a deep sigh and silently think, “Seriously? Six more weeks! I can’t do this another six weeks.” It seemed like every year that little guy saw his shadow. It was like a slap in the face. The winter boots, hats, wet socks, and running noses had hit their quota and I just wanted spring, or maybe just a change of any kind. I don’t know if it is seasonal affective disorder, boredom, or a severe case of mom-itis, but as a mom I feel like I have been living Phil’s Groundhog Day verdicts for years. That’s right, I’m a female Bill Murray. It is easy to get lost in the day-in and day-out activities that moms go through. Get the kids up, feed them, get them to school, clean the house, make dinner, get the kids to bed, get up the next morning and repeat. Don’t get me wrong, I am not making light of my role through the years. I know it has been very important and I have cherished the fact that I have had the opportunity of being a mother. But this time of year the question always arises. What will I accomplish next? What is going to be the thing that leaves my mark on the world? What will break through and become my new routine, my new passion? You can find numerous articles on how a mom can avoid the “Groundhog Day effect.” Get a new hobby, take time for yourself, or exercise. All are great ideas and I am sure they work. Well, here’s my idea. Time to live in the shadows [how’s that for a little Groundhog Day humor?]. Sometimes the best action is a reaction. Bill Murray made his way through the same day until he changed enough to make it perfect. For fun, so-called experts

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analyzed the film to determine just how long that would take. In total they calculated it took Bill 12,395 days. That computes to 33 years and 350 days to get one day right. So there you go. We aren’t perfect and practice does make perfect. So I am going to take 2015 and look back on what I have done in the past year, month, week, and day and see if I can reach that perfect day. No matter how routine it is. I am going to learn from the leftovers instead of getting mad that no one ate. I am going to cherish the warm hug I receive for finding that missing glove. I am going to recognize the “ah ha” moments, even if they come after I forget about a dentist appointment. I am not crazy, I know there will be days when I am stuck in a rut and frustration sets in and I want to punch Ned [hit Redbox on your way home and pick up Groundhog Day if you need a reminder]. However, as I am sitting here putting the final touches on an article that probably could have possibly, maybe, been submitted a couple days earlier, it becomes very clear to me that I can learn daily. I will make a note to work on my procrastination. Because I know in my life as a mom I will get to try again—probably tomorrow. Raised in Finley, ND, Deb has called Moorhead her home for the last 13 years. A graduate of Drake University in Des Moines, IA, with a degree in Journalism and Mass Communications, she is currently Marketing & Communications Director for Wanzek Construction. Deb welcomes the pleasant distraction that writing brings and thanks her children, Jake [21], Tony [20], Nick [20], and Emily [18] for inspiration. Deb and her husband Tim like to spend their free time with their kids and on the golf course.

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