Feb/March 2016 On the Minds of Moms by on the minds of moms

february march

twenty sixteen

the valley’s for today’s

Save time

and shop online at hornbachers.com

Here with you means

“Someone is

always

there for us.” Jackie, Essentia MyHealth user

Jackie is a new mom with lots of questions about the health of her baby, Lucas. At Essentia Health, we’re working to deliver more innovative, connected and convenient care to our patients. For Jackie, that means being able to send a message to her care team with her uncertainties or schedule an appointment through MyHealth at any time. To learn more about MyHealth visit EssentiaHealth.org

contents

in every issue

contributors .

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 8

event calendar . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 18 shutterbug

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 28

oh, by the way . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 38 food for thought

. . . . . . . . . . . . . 40

contents

sections

shop talk

did you know

gettin' through it

getting to the heart of it: change is possible & heart of behavior is here to help . . . . . . . . . . 10

calm the stress monster with mindfulness . . . 34

learning: how’d they do that? . . . . . . . . . . . 30

what to do, what to do… summer camps & activities 2016 . . . . . . . . . 22

just a thought live like howard . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 46

ready, set, grow steam 101—what every parent needs to know about this innovative concept . . . . . . . . . . . 58

contents

feature & profiles

mod mom profile diane hahn . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 14

mompreneur josette hayes—exposures by j.linnea . . . . . . . 24

rad dad profile greg mccormick . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 42

cover story

www.onthemindsofmoms.com

liz hannig—limitless . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 50

on the minds of moms | february • march twenty sixteen

moms

on the minds of

Spring? We’re looking forward to Fall!

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PUBLISHER DS Communication, LLC EDITOR Dani Parkos Fluge

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St. Joseph’s School Enrollment for 2016-2017 is open now

Schedule a tour with Andrew at (218) 233-0553 or ahilliker@stjoesmhdschool.com Visit us anytime at www.sjs-saints.com

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OTMOM MISSION STATEMENT On The Minds Of Moms Magazine is dedicated to providing parents of all ages a bimonthly resource they can trust. A fresh approach to traditional parenting publications, we are modern and inspiring while offering a community of local support and real-life advice for today’s family. On The Minds Of Moms contains views from across the parenting spectrum. These views do not necessarily reflect those of the publisher. All activities listed in these pages are at your own risk and require appropriate supervision. OTMOM is a publication available at all Fargo-Moorhead Hornbacher's, Family Fare, and Grand Forks–East Grand Forks Hugo's grocery store locations. Distribution also includes all partnering advertisers. Copyright 2016 All Rights Reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced without written permission from the publisher. On The Minds Of Moms is a trademark registered at the U.S. Patent and Trademark Office.

contributors

“the last time i stepped out of my comfort zone…” darcy simonson fargo | nd gettin’ through it: page 34

Stepping out of my comfort zone keeps me moving in the right direction, so I do it often, especially in my work. Recently I began recording my Life Lover’s Living Room video series. I am not a fan of being in front of cameras or being the center of attention, but the videos are something I think will help positively shift people’s perspectives, so I’m doing it.

deb uglem fargo | nd oh, by the way: page 38 The last time I stepped out of my comfort zone came on December 4th, 2015, which was moving day. See article on page 38!

kari klingsporn hitterdal fargo | nd food for thought: page 40 I am totally athletically inept. So, unfortunately, any time I try a new workout or get on a treadmill is an opportunity for me to step out of my comfort zone. This makes physical fitness a big problem for me. I wish I had a love of sports, but it is just not my thing!

kathleen wrigley bismarck | nd just a thought: page 46 I’m stepping out of my warm and cozy comfort zone by Chairing a statewide effort called “Marsy’s Law for North Dakota” which would elevate the protections and fundamental rights of crime victims [and their families] to the same constitutional level of criminal defendants—without diminishing the criminal’s rights in any way. Most people have no idea these rights are not already in place. I know I didn’t. When we know better, we must do better. Taking our personal experiences and using them to help and lift others forces us out of our comfort zones. It’s all part of growth and change. #Marsy’sLawforNorthDakota

crystal henderson barnesville | mn did you know: page 10 I try to step out of my comfort zone everyday! I have learned and continue to learn to embrace new experiences and face my fears, no regrets. The last time I stepped out of my comfort zone was wearing a Gatsby style hat. I received many compliments on it and look forward to wearing it again.

patricia carlson naples | fl ready, set, grow: page 58 I don't have a comfort zone. I'm willing to try most anything!

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did you know

getting to the heart of it

www.onthemindsofmoms.com

change is possible & heart of behavior is here to help

on the minds of moms | february • march twenty sixteen

did you know story by | crystal [ringenberg] henderson, m.s., bcba, laba

our mama instincts tell you something isn’t “right.” Sure, all kids have times when they exhibit unwanted behaviors, whether it is refusal, temper tantrums, aggression [hitting, kicking], talking back, negotiating, or eating problems, to name a few. But your gut tells you there is more here. You want to help him or her correct this behavior, but how? Where do you turn? Is there help out there? Yes! Heart of Behavior is ready to help. Let’s get to the heart of it! what is heart of behavior? Heart of Behavior is a Fargo-based company consisting of behavior-trained professionals, including Board Certified Behavior Analysts, who provide professional behavior consulting for parents, caregivers, educators, agencies, and schools. Consultation is available to those experiencing development and behavior concerns in their child or student [ages 1 to 18]. Services are centered to meet the individual needs of the child across all areas of development and environments using ABA. what is aba? ABA [Applied Behavior Analysis] is a science of human behavior that is widely recognized as safe and effective. It has been endorsed by a number of states and federal agencies, including the U.S. Surgeon General. Improving behavior requires decreasing one behavior and replacing it with another behavior. ABA methods

teach what to do through positive reinforcement and an understanding of motivation to meet the child's individual needs. ABA breaks behavior skills down into steps. Each skill includes a series of behavior steps. Mastering each step is necessary for independence with a skill. For example, when learning to read, first you learn the alphabet song. Then you identify each letter. Next you say and then learn the sound of each letter. Finally you make and read words. If a child exhibits problems with reading, a Heart of Behavior professional first assesses if it’s a skill deficit or a motivational deficit. Meaning, does the child have the skill, but is not motivated to demonstrate the skill? Now a specialized plan can be devised that targets the behavior to be learned. does a child have to be diagnosed with a behavior disorder before going to heart of behavior? No. A clinical diagnosis or referral is not needed. Heart of Behavior provides services to all children, including those with Attention Deficit Disorder, Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder, Autism Spectrum Disorder, Oppositional Defiance Disorder, Down Syndrome, anxiety, social/emotional disorders, challenging behaviors, and, again, children who have no clinical diagnosis. We specialize in behavior and we know everyone is capable of learning. Our sessions seek improvement of socially significant behaviors, including communication, social skills, academics, and reading, as well as adaptive living skills such as gross and fine-motor skills, toileting, dressing, eating, personal self-care, domestic

www.onthemindsofmoms.com

february • march twenty sixteen | on the minds of moms

did you know skills, and work skills. Also, with the proven success of ABA-based treatment, many insurance companies cover ABA services. Check your policy for specifics. are parents involved in their child’s sessions? Absolutely! Parents play a necessary and critical role in their child’s program. Studies show that children whose parents are actively engaged in the process make measurable gains. First, no one knows the child better than the parents; the parents provide critical and insightful information that will help guide the ABA program. Second, parents are able to continue to prompt and reinforce their child through his or her various daily activities—an essential component to generalizing skills.

www.onthemindsofmoms.com

Sessions occur wherever the target behavior[s] occur and where the replacement behaviors need to be learned. For example, in the home, grocery stores, public restrooms, restaurants, school, after-school activities, etc. Services are designed to give parents, caregivers, and educators the tools of what to do and say to reinforce healthy behaviors in the child.

on the minds of moms | february • march twenty sixteen

Sessions are designed specifically for the child’s needs and may consist of interviews, assessments, training on the behavior plan, conducting 1:1 sessions, meetings to analyze data, and updates to programs and procedures.

behavior is not about being “perfect”; rather, it’s about learning together the individual needs of the child and how to successfully guide him or her to learn what to do. what changes can parents expect after working with heart of behavior? Each child’s individual success is shown in a variety of ways. It may be sharing in a laugh when she or he learns

did you know to tell a joke, a look of encouragement as she or he learns to express emotions safely, or a smile when the child completes a task independently. Improved self-confidence, a willingness to try new things, improved performance at school, increased independence with daily routines, and healthy friendships/relationships are all signs of success. And these changes aren’t limited to just the child, but are experienced in the whole family and/or classroom! Behavior is not about being “perfect”; rather, it’s about learning together the individual needs of the child and how to successfully guide him or her to learn what to do. When you see behavior success as small steps, there is success in every moment! can heart of behavior help my child? At Heart of Behavior we understand your fears, hopes, anxieties, and dreams about your child’s development and behaviors inhibiting her or him from reaching their full potential. Our competent professionals, with a variety of experiences and years of practicing the science of ABA, work collaboratively with parents, family members, and other professionals as a team to meet the individual

and unique needs of each child. We understand it takes practice, repetition, and a positive, supportive team to teach and enhance healthy behaviors for a happy life! Visit Heart of Behavior’s website [www.heartofbehavior. com] or Facebook page for more information and contact us to set up an appointment. Crystal [Ringenberg] Henderson, M.S., BCBA, LABA, Heart of Behavior founder, brings over 17 years of experience in educating, training, and creating behavior success for children, families, and professionals. Heart of Behavior has a team of Board Certified Behavior Analysts and other professionals with a variety of experience, education, and behavior training to meet your needs.

218.329.5609 info@heartofbehavior.com www.heartofbehavior.com

Kindergarten Registration Registration for Fall 2016 opens online February 1, 2016 at:

www.fargo.k12.nd.us/registration

FA R G

BLIC S C

Registration can be completed at home online anytime or at computer kiosks in the office at each Fargo Public elementary school building on the following dates: February 22, 24, 26 – 7:30 a.m. to 4:00 p.m. February 23, 25, 29 – 7:30 a.m. to 6:00 p.m.

Child must be age 5 by July 31, 2016 to attend school in the fall. If you have questions or do not know which school your child will attend, check online at www.fargo.k12.nd.us/boundarymaps, call the school office, or call 701.446.1043.

february • march twenty sixteen | on the minds of moms

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Once online registration has been completed, families MUST bring their child’s certified birth certificate, current immunization record, and proof of residence (utility bill) to the school their child will attend to finalize registration.

iane grew up on a grain farm near Gardena, North Dakota [ten miles south of Bottineau], and was number three of four sisters. There were only six kids in her class until high school. She attended the University of North Dakota

and is currently a Program Coordinator and single mom to daughter Kooper [13], grown stepdaughter Stephanie [23], and Grandma to Mia [18 months]. Diane is no stranger to hard work but does find joy in reading, fishing, snowmobiling, lake time with family, watching her daughter’s horse shows, the Vikings [although she struggles admitting this], and taking in her nephew’s baseball games [Go, Jimmies!]. She likes a good movie, a juicy steak [and honestly admits she can’t grill one to save her life], and some good OLD country music. She’s an optimist, claims she’s a terrible baker but a fairly decent cook, and is always up for an adventure, like the time she experienced hypothermia while lost in the wilderness on horseback…in Arizona.

photos: caitlin killoran photography | caitlin killoran

diane hahn horace.nd

mod mom

i am super passionate about…

i have always wanted to…

raising my daughter to be a well-rounded, kind, grateful, courageous person with the confidence to speak her truth.

live in the country. Although I did live for years in the city, I have always been a farm girl in my heart.

i would do anything to avoid…

my laugh. It’s kind of loud and obnoxious. Growing up, my sisters called it a “cackle.” I used to be selfconscious about it, but now I embrace it!

hurting someone I care about.

my personal motto/mantra is… be in the moment—appreciate and fully experience where you are and whom you’re with right now.

i wish i could tell my younger self… trust and listen to your little inner voice. It rarely steers you wrong.

greatest mistake i ever made… riding lessons and leasing a horse for my daughter. It was probably not a wise choice at the time because I was in no position financially for that responsibility. But the joy, enrichment, life lessons, and special friends we’ve made, and countless other wonderful things it has brought to my life, and especially my daughter’s life, are immeasurable.

something that inspires me every day… my daughter’s poems. She is a talented writer [like her aunt]. I have several of my favorites framed and in my room where I see them every day.

something quirky about me…

i find it necessary to… have advance notice of visitors so I have time to tidy up my house. I’m not a fan of the “drop in!”

G-onld-

Motion

A Gymnastics Spectacular

April 17th ~ 3:00 ~ Scheels Arena

all families really should experience… regular “unplugged” time together, away from electronics.

what i have learned most about raising a daughter… is you have to listen as much to what she DOESN’T tell you as to what she does. Ask questions to pick her brain and figure out what is going on with her, even if it annoys her. And it WILL annoy her!

www.onthemindsofmoms.com

i can always find peace in… church.

HOME OF THE FM ACRO TEAM & AGG COMPETITIVE TEAMS WE OFFER CLASSES FOR AGES 18 MONTHS - 18 YEARS | BOYS & GIRLS www.AmericanGoldGymnastics.com

701-280-0400

february • march twenty sixteen | on the minds of moms

www.onthemindsofmoms.com

mod mom

erts in tk p reatik x kkkk E e ng h T r o c o o l n F ditions elvic kinPk k k kk females, males, kidsk ! kk kk&k kkkkkk kkkkkk kk k k Learn more at kk www.apexptwellness.com kkkkkk kkkkkk 701.364.APEX (2739)

1420 9th St. E. Suite 401 West Fargo

on the minds of moms | february • march twenty sixteen

my all-time favorite movie is… hard to pick just one, but “Legends of the Fall” is high up on my list.

i couldn’t live without the support of… my sisters, the small circle of amazing women I am fortunate to call my friends, and my parents. Being a single parent is sometimes challenging and there have been so many times my family and friends have stepped in to provide support in whatever form is needed. I am SO grateful and blessed!

i never thought i… would have kids. I had my daughter later in life—I think I would have been a train wreck as a parent in my younger years! I am thankful that God had his own set of plans for me.

best advice to my younger-self… don’t miss out on opportunities because you are afraid to fail. I still struggle with this but try to remind myself to “feel the fear and do it anyway” [my favorite Susan Jeffers quote].

if i could live one day over again it would be… our family white-water rafting adventure in Colorado.

Winter Carnival 1874K-35

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february events

Enjoy a snow-filled day of ski clinics, crosscountry skiing, snowshoeing, sledding, ice skating, horse-drawn sleigh rides, a cardboard sled race at Lincoln Drive Park [120 Euclid Av, Grand Forks] from 10am-4pm.

Support the Ronald McDonald House of the Red River Valley at the Holiday Inn [3803 13th Av S, Fargo], 6pm-11:30pm, with an evening featuring dinner, a live and silent auction, and dancing at this semi-formal event. Tickets are $75.

8 & 11

This one-evening class at Essentia Health [3000 32nd Av S, Fargo], 6:30pm-8:30pm, is designed for ‘Dads to be’ and is taught by an experienced Dad. Topics covered include adjusting to fatherhood, how to support Mom, and basics of infant care. Classroom location will be posted on a sign in the main hospital lobby. Free event, register online.

Go Red Day www.gorednd.com Heart disease kills 1 in 3 women in North Dakota, but it is highly preventable. Support a heart- healthy lifestyle & wear red all day!

5&6

Monster Jam 701.241.9100 www.monsterjam.com

Car-Seat Safety 701.364.8100 www.essentiahealth.org Did you know that 8 out of 10 car seats are installed incorrectly? Car-seat safety class is a one-hour class with up-to-date car-seat recommendations and car-seat laws. It is suggested you attend this class as early as 6-7 months of pregnancy. Class is open to parents, grandparents, or caregivers and is taught by a Certified Car-Seat Technician. You do not need to bring your car seat with you to class. Registration is required. Class is held at Essentia Health [3000 32nd Av S, Fargo] from 6:30pm-8:30pm and is free.

www.onthemindsofmoms.com

Watch your favorite Monster Trucks racing and ripping up a custom-designed track at the Fargodome [1800 N. University Dr, Fargo]. Always a fan favorite, but remember your ear plugs.

Greenway Ski Day 701.746.2750 www.gfparks.org

on the minds of moms | february • march twenty sixteen

Basic Training for New Dads 701.364.8100 www.essentiahealth.org

Giving Hearts Day www.dakmed.org/giving-hearts-day

Awesome Art Afternoon 701.499.7788 www.fargoparks.com Love art, but hate the mess? Bring your kiddo to this interactive art program to have fun while building a variety of takehome projects. All creative materials will be provided. Adult supervision required. 1pm-3pm at Robert D. Johnson Recreation Center [1104 2nd Av S, Fargo].

Sweetheart Ball 701.232.3980 www.rmhcfargo.org

Happy Valentine’s Day Chocolate, flowers…and your sweetie!

Friends & Family Night 701.356.7656 www.fargoforce.com Come on out for Friends & Family Night at Scheels Arena [5225 31st Av S., Fargo] and watch the Fargo Force Hockey team take on Omaha Lancers. Did we mention your favorite Star Wars characters will be on hand? Ticket packages are available. Puck drops at 7:05pm.

14 & 28

19, 20, 26 & 27

Head to the Dr. James Carlson Library [2801 32 Av S, Fargo], 1pm-3pm, for an informal, enthusiastic crafters’ group for novice and expert alike. If you are new to knitting or crocheting, we can teach you! All interested crafters are welcome. Free. Contact Lori West at 701.476.5977 or email lwest@cityoffargo.com for details.

Experience a night of joy and memories to last a lifetime for a special girl and her escort at the annual daddy-daughter dance at the Alerus Center in Grand Forks! This treasured event is for girls age 16 & under and an escort [daddy, grandpa, or a favorite uncle]. Space is limited. Registration begins December 1, 2015.

15 & 16

If school is out for the day, come to TNT Fitness [2800 Main Av, Fargo] to play! The S.O.D.C. ensures your kiddo will receive well over 60 minutes of physical activity, healthy snacks, and a noon meal, quiet reading time, and creative/open play in the gym. Guaranteed to have a fun-filled day and meet new friends!

Ladies, no art-smarts required! It’s the art of socializing! Come paint “Color of the Night” with friends at UCC Congregational Church [1101 17th Av S, Fargo], 6:30pm-9pm. It’s guaranteed to bring out creativity, fun, and laughter! Appetizers, desserts, and beverages will be provided! Pre-registration

Unraveled Crafters 701.476.5977 www.fargolibrary.org

School’s Out Day Camp 701.365.8868 www.tntkidsfitness.org

Knight for a Princess 701.746.2750 www.gfparks.org

Painting, Hors d’oeuvres & Desserts 701.781.0042 www.galleryonthego.net

& payment are required. Under Fundraiser button, then click MOMS Club of F/M-IR. Only $30 per person! 50% of funds benefit MOMS Club of Fargo/Moorhead-IR, whose goal is to support other mothers, families, & our community. Questions, please contact Penelope@galleryonthego.com

february events

26-28

Home & Garden Show 701.232.5846 www.hbafm.com Spring is in the air…well, almost. Think warm weather and home ideas while visiting exhibits for remodeling, landscaping, and building at the Fargodome [1800 N University Dr, Fargo].

Youth Ice-Fishing Derby 701.499.6060 www.fargoparks.com

at the annual Youth Ice-Fishing Derby, 1:30pm-3:30pm at the South Woodhaven Pond [4202 Woodhaven Dr S, Fargo], which is stocked with perch, bluegill, and northern pike. Holes will be pre-drilled for participants. This is a catch-and-release event for ages 15 and under. There is no entry fee and there will be free hot cocoa and t-shirts while supplies last.

Bring your ice-ﬁshing rod and try your luck

All event listings displayed within OTMOM are carefully selected to provide diverse options for families. It is always a good idea to call ahead to confirm the information provided. Although it is not possible to list every event happening in the FM area, we encourage organizations to submit events for consideration to events@onthemindsofmoms.com

www.onthemindsofmoms.com

february • march twenty sixteen | on the minds of moms

march events

Kiddos ages 5 years to14 years can have a blast at TNT Kid’s Fitness & Gymnastics [2800 Main Av, Fargo] during open gym, Friday from 7pm-9pm., $10.00 per participant, and will include a snack and craft. Theme TBD.

Come dressed up for tea and bring your favorite teddy bear. Learn etiquette basics through fun games while enjoying bitesized snacks and refreshments. From 10am-11am at Rheault Farm [2902 25 St S, Fargo]. Pre-registration is required.

Parents can have a great night out while the kids enjoy a wild time at the Red River Zoo [4255 23 Av S, Fargo], 6pm-9:30pm, with a night full of fun, games, and activities! Children will go on an Eggcellent Adventure, learning about eggs and the animals that lay them through games, activities, and a trip through the zoo. Adventures take energy, so a snack will be provided. RRZ Members: $20 first child, $10 each additional child, Non-Members $30 first child, $15 each additional child. This is consistently a SOLD-OUT event, so pre-registration is required.

Open Gym 701.365.8868 www.tntkidsfitness.com

Saturday Fun Nights www.ymcacassclay.org/funnights

Child-Passenger Safety Class 701.234.7233 www.sanfordhealth.org Are your kids riding safely? This class is designed to give participants knowledge about correct use of car seats. This class meets licensing requirements for Minnesota child-care and foster-care providers. Space is limited. Pre-registration is necessary. $30/participant.

3—6

Sportsmen’s Show www.fargodome.com North Dakota’s largest sports show is back for 4 big days! The 51st Annual Red River Valley Sportsmen's Boat, Camping & Vacation Show will fill the FARGODOME with many tastes of summertime fun. Adults $7.50, Kids 6-12 $2.50, kids 5 & under free.

Parents’ Night Out while the kids enjoy the YMCA! 4:30pm-9:30pm, Schlossman YMCA [4243 19 Av S, Fargo], Grades K-6, $18 for members, $25 non-members. Registration is required.

All American Girl Tea Party www.altrusafargo.com All moms, grandmothers, aunts, sisters, daughters, friends and of course dolls are invited to this annual fundraising event held at Atonement Church [4601 S University Dr, Fargo], 2pm-4pm. Enjoy tea sandwiches, fruit, desserts, lemonade and of course tea. There are activities for all ages and chances to win amazing door-prizes and drawings. And don't forget your dolls! Purchase your tickets at www.altrusafargo.com.

Teddy Bear Tea Party 701.499.7788 www.fargoparks.com

An Eggcellent Adventure www.redriverzoo.org 701.277.9240

5, 6, 12, 13 & 19 Open Gym 701.499.6060 www.fargoparks.com

Bring the kids to run out some energy at Open Gym. The community open-gym program is designed to provide free play for youth during a supervised time period. Locations and hours subject to change. For more information visit the website.

Safe Kids 701.780.1856 www.safekidsgf.com Did you know that 4 out of 5 car seats are used incorrectly? Could your child's be one of them? Safe Kids Grand Forks, in partnership with Altru Health System and Rydell GM Auto Center, offers a monthly car-seat check-up event on the second Thursday of each month. This event is from 4pm-7pm, free, and no appointments are necessary. Come to Rydell's and certified car-seat technicians will check on your seat and ensure your children are riding safely.

11 & 12

Cyber Bowl 218.233.6153 www.bowlingsunset.com Enjoy late-night bowling with colored lights and music for all ages at Sunset Lanes [620 Hwy 75, Moorhead] starting at 10pm. $9/person, all you can bowl.

Celtic Festival 701.499.7788 www.fargoparks.com This festival features entertainment stages, several presentations about folk traditions of the past & present, activity booths, & Celtic foods at the Hjemkomst Center [202 1 Ave N, Moorhead] 10am-4pm.

PARK CHRISTIAN SCHOOL

Kindergarten Round-ups For parents and students

www.onthemindsofmoms.com

February 2 March 7

5:00 – 6:00 pm

RSVP at

218-236-0500 Enroll today. K–12th grade

Free busing in Moorhead. Shuttle available to and from West and South Fargo.

on the minds of moms | february • march twenty sixteen

PARK CHRISTIAN SCHOOL

ParkChristianSchool.org

12 & 13

Fargo Ice Revue 701.499.6060 www.fargoparks.com Students from each of the Park District’s skate classes will present their annual Ice Skating Revue at the Coliseum [807 17 Av N, Fargo] beginning at 2pm.

St. Patrick’s Day Parade 701.364.9867 www.downtownfargo.com Everyone’s Irish for a day when FargoMoorhead celebrates St. Patrick’s Day in downtown Fargo.

CPR for Family & Friends 701.234.5570 www.sanfordhealth.org Participants will learn the ABCs of CPR, how to manage airway obstruction, and will receive an American Heart Association participation card. 6pm-8pm. Pre-registration is necessary.

Butterfly Ball Ticket Sales 701.499.7788 www.fargoparks.com The very popular semi-formal Father/ Daughter Dance is back! Tickets go on sale starting at 8am ONLINE ONLY. Young ladies age 4-12 can create memories with dad, step-dad, uncle, grandfather, or other male role model at a magical evening of

music, dancing, photo opportunities, and more. Light snacks, dessert, and punch will be served. Butterfly Ball dance dates are April 9, 15, and 16, held at Avalon Event Center West [2525 9 Av S, Fargo]. Grand March starts at 6pm. Dance will start immediately following Grand March and goes until 9:30pm.

Riding on Angels’ Wings Fundraiser 701.793.5153 www.ridingonangelswings.org Head to the Hartl Building at the Red River Valley Fairgrounds and support Riding on Angels' Wings’ mission to enrich the quality of life for individuals with special needs through equine-assisted activities and therapy delivered in a safety-oriented, family-centered atmosphere. The fun starts at 6pm.

18—20

Ice Show 218.798.7248 The Annual Ice Show at the Moorhead Sports Center [324 24 St S, Moorhead] features skaters who participate in Moorhead Parks and Recreation's Learn to Skate and Advanced Skater programs. This show is a variety of music and performances featuring skaters from the tots' level up to the most experienced senior skaters with intricate footwork and jumps. Performances will be held on Friday and Saturday at 7pm, and Sunday at 1pm. Tickets are available

at Moorhead Parks and Recreation [M-F, 8am - 4:30pm] and at the door beginning one-and-a-half hour before each show.

18—20

march events

Bouncin' Bash & More 701.433.5360 www.wfparks.org This weekend of inflatable family fun will take place at the Veterans’ Memorial Arena [1201 7 Av E, West Fargo] and features many obstacle courses, giant slides, bouncy castles, Volcano Climb, Kiddie Land area, and more. Bring your friends and play laser tag. Concessions will be available. This event is open to all ages. Children 12 & under must attend with an adult. Open 4pm-8pm on the 18th, 10am-7pm on the 19th, 10am-4pm on the 20th. $6/person.

Awesome Art Afternoon 701.499.7788 www.fargoparks.com Love art but hate the mess? Bring your kiddo to this interactive art program to have fun while building a variety of take-home projects. All creative materials will be provided. This program is free thanks to a grant from Xcel Energy. Adult supervision required. 1pm-3pm at Robert D. Johnson Recreation Center [1104 2 Av S, Fargo].

School’s Out Day Camp 701.365.8868 www.tntkidsfitness.org If school is out for the day, come to TNT Fitness [2800 Main Av, Fargo] to play! The S.O.D.C. ensures your kiddo will receive well over 60 minutes of physical activity, healthy snacks, and a noon meal, quiet reading time, and creative/open play in the gym. Guaranteed to have a fun-filled day and meet new friends!

25 & 26

Easter Eggstravaganza 701.232.6102 www.childrensmuseum-yunker.org Meet The Easter Bunny! Dye eggs, create spring crafts, and hop on over to the Egg Hunts at 11am, 1pm, & 3pm at Yunker Farm Museum [1201 28 Av N, Fargo]. Kids ages one and under and members are free!

For a Home Building EXPERIENCE Above All the Rest! “Urban Prairie Homes was truly a wonderful building experience for us! They found ways to work within our budget and keep the look we wanted in our home. By far our dream come true!” - Kurtis & Katie

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february • march twenty sixteen | on the minds of moms

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Contact: Jenny Schuster 701.729.5851 | JennySchuster@ParkCompany.com Park Co. Realtors 28 N 10th St, Fargo, ND 58102

camps & activities

what to do, what to do… summer camps & activities 2016

FAITH FaHoCha Bible Camp An interdenominational camp nestled beside South Lake Washington, 25 miles East of New Rockford, ND, we offer a unique camping experience combining a fun filled family like atmosphere with life skill training and Bible study. All from an encouraging, caring and loving staff! Camp dates include: June 12-17 – Varsity Camp [ages 16-18], June 19-24 – Middler Camp 1 [ages 10-12], June 26-July 1 – Jr. Varsity Camp [ages 14-16], July 6-8 – Beginner Camp 1 [ages 8-10], July 10-15 – Middler Camp 2 [ages 10-12], July 17-22 – Jr. High Camp [ages 12-14], July 24-27 – Beginner Camp 2 [ages 8-10]. For more information, please call 701.674.3211 or 701.351.4835 or visit www.fahocha.org. Inspiration Point Christian Camp + Retreat Center Located on Spitzer Lake, 90 minutes Southeast of Fargo/Moorhead, Inspiration Point offers an action-packed Christian camp experience for students in grades 1-12. Inspiration Point is known for its well-trained staff dedicated to quality service and care, modern accommodations, and excellent food service. Family camps are also available. Register online at www.ipoint. org or call 218.998.4572 for more information. SPORT American Gold Gymnastics Offering classes for kids ages 18 months to 18 years. Classes develop physical awareness, work on coordination, balance, listening skills, fine and gross motor skills and incorporate lots of fun! For more info, www. americangoldgymnastics.com or 701.280.0400.

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Camp Summer Splash At Camp Summer Splash our campers will experience a variety of water activities. Campers, ages 6-11, will learn new swimming techniques and water safety. From swimming and diving to creating waves at the water park campers will have an outstanding time with new friends and staff. Come create a splash this summer at Family Wellness [2960 Seter Parkway, Fargo] August 1-5, from 9am-4pm [before and after care available]! Family Wellness and YMCA Members: $175/ Nonmembers: $195. Registration opens March 1st. For more info, contact Matt [701.234.7001 or matthew.melchior@ sanfordhealth. org] or visit www.familywellnessfargo.com/ schedules/. Diving Camp at MSUM Improve your diving skills July 31-August 5 or August 7-12 on the MSUM campus in Moorhead, MN. Open to competitive divers who are looking for a new experience using dry-land equipment, 3 meter boards, and high quality coaching. Contact 218.477.2313 for more information. Spectacular Sports Camp Spectacular Sports Camp will explore the wide world of sports at Family Wellness [2960 Seter Parkway, Fargo] August 15-19, from 9am-4pm [before and after care available]. From soccer to racquetball campers, ages

on the minds of moms | february • march twenty sixteen

6-11, will experience all aspects of the game in a positive and encouraging environment. This camp will focus on teamwork, sportsmanship and giving your best effort at all times. Join the Family Wellness team this summer at Spectacular Sports Camp! Family Wellness and YMCA Members: $175/ Nonmembers: $195. Registration opens March 1st. For more info, contact Matt [701.234.7001 or matthew.melchior@sanfordhealth.org] or visit www.familywellnessfargo.com/schedules/. Super Summer Sports Camp This sports camp is packed with fun for campers of all ability levels, ages 6-11. Campers will learn and play sports of all sorts in a positive and encouraging environment at Family Wellness [2960 Seter Parkway, Fargo] June 20-24, from 9am-4pm [before and after care available]. This camp will focus on teamwork, sportsmanship and giving your best effort at all times. Campers will learn new skills, make new friends and have a blast exploring new sports and activities. Come join our Super Summer Sports Camp to start your summer out with a Homerun! Family Wellness and YMCA Members: $175/ Nonmembers: $195. Registration opens March 1st. For more info, contact Matt [701.234.7001 or matthew. melchior@sanfordhealth.org] or visit www.familywellnessfargo. com/schedules/. Swim Camp at MSUM Improve your swimming skills June 12-17 or June 19-24 on the MSUM campus in Moorhead, MN. Open to competitive swimmers age 8 through high school. Our camps focus on technique improvement for already proficient swimmers and fun. For more information, contact Katie at diiro@mnstate.edu. SELF Camp Family Wellness Camp Family Wellness will provide an exciting, hands-on learning environment filled with activities and healthy choices. Campers, ages 6-11, will have the opportunity to take age appropriate Family Wellness fitness classes, healthy cooking classes, and create their own fun projects. This camp will also provide our campers with a variety of activities in the gym and our swimming pool at Family Wellness [2960 Seter Parkway, Fargo] July 13-17, from 9am-4pm [before and after care available]. Brighten your summer with Camp Family Wellness! Family Wellness and YMCA Members: $175/ Nonmembers: $195. Registration opens March 1st. For more info, contact Matt [701.234.7001 or matthew.melchior@sanfordhealth.org] or visit www.familywellnessfargo.com/schedules/. Camp Foley Grow grit. Investigate independence. Kids converge on Camp Foley each summer from all over the world to put aside their phones and computers and work on face-to-face social skills, all the while trying new activities and taking risks in a safe, kid-friendly environment. With over 80 years of combined experience, the Camp Foley directors run a seasoned program

camps & activities that has been in operation for over 90 years. Whitefish Lake in North Central Minnesota offers the perfect backdrop for kids to reconnect with nature and learn from each other. Choose from 1, 2, 3 and 4 week sessions June 22-August 17. For more information, contact Alli [alli@campfoley.com, 218.543.6161] or visit www.campfoley.com. Camp Foley is an American Camp Association accredited camp. Camp Heroes for Youth with Diabetes Camp Heroes is flying in this summer to provide your child with an exciting opportunity to explore new heights at Family Wellness [2960 Seter Parkway, Fargo] August 8-12, from 9am-4pm [before and after care available]. This camp is designed for children, ages 6-11, with diabetes to help them explore healthy opportunities through hands-on learning and play. Grab your cape, put on your mask and let’s blast off with Camp Heroes! Family Wellness and YMCA Members: $175/ Nonmembers: $195 I AM I CAN Summer Camp for Girls 2015 marks the 25th year of the "I AM I CAN" Summer Camp for Girls, a day camp held at the Academie Agencie in downtown Fargo. This camp is designed to be a fun and learning-filled week [M-F from 10am-5pm] where the camper will develop her self-confidence and self-expression. The camp is open to girls ages 9-13, running June 20-24 and August 1-5. The seminars and events are age appropriate and include but are not limited to, attitude, social graces, table etiquette, visual poise and presentation, modeling, fitness, confidence, building, skincare, and wardrobe. To register call 701.235.8132 or visit www.academieagencie.com. ND Farmers Union Camp At North Dakota Farmers Union camps, attendees learn about the cooperative business model by organizing and operating their own store and selling snacks, beverages, and camp souvenirs. Campers are educated on reallife issues affecting their generation through hands-on lessons in volunteerism, government, cultural diversity, legislative process, mock trials, and patriotism. Held at Wesley Acres [near Valley City] and Heart Butte [near Elgin], sessions run June through August. 4 day, 3 night camps for grades 3-6: $100 cost; 5 day, 4 night camps for grades 7-12: $150 cost. Transportation provided. Registration starts March 1st. For more information, call 800.366.8331 or visit www.ndfu.org/youth-camps.php or www.facebook.com/ NorthDakotaFarmersUnionYouth. YMCA Camp Cormorant Enjoy the spirit and tradition of Camp Cormorant! Get the full camping experience with camps such as Water Ski, Adventure, Cooking, Horsemanship, Fishing, Ropes Course, Wilderness, Basketball, Canoe Trips, and more! Weekly Sessions run June 12-August 12 for ages 7-15. www. campcormorant.org. Register by March 30 for $25 off! EXPLORATION

Family Wellness Camp Imagination This camp will provide an exciting, hands-on learning environment filled with activities and healthy choices. Campers, ages 6-11, will have the opportunity to dive into their imaginations through art projects and theatrical play. This camp will also provide our campers with a variety of activities in the gym and our swimming pool. Dream big with Family Wellness Camp Imagination at Family Wellness [2960 Seter Parkway, Fargo] July 18-22, from 9am-4pm [before and after care available]! Family Wellness and YMCA Members: $175/ Nonmembers: $195. Registration opens March 1st. For more info, contact Matt [701.234.7001 or matthew.melchior@sanfordhealth. org] or visit www.familywellnessfargo.com/schedules/. Wild Wilderness Camp Explore the world around you this summer during the Wild Wilderness Camp. Kids, ages 6-11, will learn about different animals, climates, and even survival skills. Come find your wild side at Family Wellness [2960 Seter Parkway, Fargo] July 25-29, from 9am-4pm [before and after care available]! Family Wellness and YMCA Members: $175/ Nonmembers: $195. Registration opens March 1st. For more info, contact Matt [701.234.7001 or matthew.melchior@sanfordhealth. org] or visit www.familywellnessfargo.com/schedules/. NUTRITION Camp Fuel This camp will help dispel myths and media messages targeted at youth about nutrition, activity, body image and acceptance to promote a positive self-image and understanding of how our bodies use the “fuel” we eat and burn. Kids, ages 8-12, will have the chance to create a health promoting media message, tour local media stations, and much more all while being active, making friends, improving self-esteem, and having fun at Family Wellness [2960 Seter Parkway, Fargo] July 11-15, from 9am-4pm [before and after care available]! Family Wellness and YMCA Members: $175/ Nonmembers: $195. Registration opens March 1st. For more info, contact Matt [701.234.7001 or matthew.melchior@sanfordhealth. org] or visit www.familywellnessfargo.com/schedules/. Creative Cooking Camp Creative Cooking Camp is here to test your culinary skills. In this camp we will focus on creating healthy recipes and enhancing your skills and knowledge within the kitchen. Each child, ages 6-11, will be able to learn hands-on skills that will help bring out their inner chef. Come test your taste buds this summer at Family Wellness [2960 Seter Parkway, Fargo] June 6-10, from 9am-4pm [before and after care available]! Family Wellness and YMCA Members: $175/ Nonmembers: $195. Registration opens March 1st. For more info, contact Matt [701.234.7001 or matthew.melchior@sanfordhealth. org] or visit www.familywellnessfargo.com/schedules/.

february • march twenty sixteen | on the minds of moms

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College for Kids & Teens College for Kids & Teens is a summer camp program for students K-12, held on the beautiful MSUM campus in Moorhead, MN, June 13-16, June 20-23, July 11-14, and July 18-21. Expert instructors teach classes that encourage exploration, adventure, and creativity while cultivating an understanding and appreciation for a variety of topics including: science, art, technology, nature, writing, fitness and more!! Registration opens February 17. For more information visit www. mnstate.edu/outreach or contact Shireen at cfk@mnstate.edu.

Creative Builders Camp If your child likes a challenge and is always wondering “why?” come find out at Family Wellness Creative Builders Camp. Children, ages 6-11, will be able to create and experiment with a variety of fun hands-on science and engineering projects designed for kids at Family Wellness [2960 Seter Parkway, Fargo] June 13-17, from 9am-4pm [before and after care available]. Come explore why and how at Creative Builders Camp! Family Wellness and YMCA Members: $175/ Nonmembers: $195. Registration opens March 1st. For more info, contact Matt [701.234.7001 or matthew.melchior@sanfordhealth. org] or visit www.familywellnessfargo.com/schedules/.

osette [45] grew up with her family and attended high school in Pelican Rapids, Minnesota. After getting married, finishing college, and starting her nursing career in Fargo, ND, at Sanford Health, Josette and her husband Shane

made their home in Moorhead, MN, where they are currently raising their three children, Maverick [16], Marina [14], and Liza [10]. In 2009 Josette got her first camera and quickly fell head-over-heels in love with photography. It became her passion and her life revolved around taking pictures and learning as much as she could about it. What started out as a hobby for Josette became her part-time business for a few years while still working as a nurse, and in 2015 she stepped away from nursing to run her now full-time successful photography business.

photos: exposures by j.linneaâ&#x20AC;&#x201A; |â&#x20AC;&#x201A; josette hayes

josette hayes

exposures by j.linnea

what is your background in photography? It all started in 2009 when I got my first fancy digital camera. My goal was to use it to take better everyday photos of my children. Right away things clicked [pun intended!] and I started teaching myself how to use it beyond just the auto mode. I found Clickin’ Moms, an awesome forum for photography enthusiasts, both hobby based and those who were in business. I took a few online classes and bought myself a great book at Barnes and Noble called “Understanding Exposure”. From there, learning just sort of became an obsession, and my passion and skills grew very quickly as I mastered using my camera in manual mode and started learning composition, lighting, and exposure through practice, practice, and more practice.

mom preneur

business, you can keep on working practically around the clock. There is always more editing to do, more galleries to send out, more marketing to do, more education to do, more accounting, etc. And your work can be done from home. For me personally, I am working on refining my hours, and setting better boundaries, so that I allocate certain hours to my business and the rest of my time can be spent with my family. It’s so easy to blur those lines.

what is your favorite photography accessory? My 85mm portrait lens. It’s my go-to, hands-down

what inspires you the most in the photography profession? What inspires me has definitely evolved over the years as I learn more and gain more experience, but at this point in my journey, I would say light. Light is everything. I am a seeker and chaser of light, and continue learning all that I can about it and how it interacts with the subjects that I am photographing.

how do you think your work has made a difference?

what has been the biggest challenge in owning your own business?

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The nature of photography, in and of itself, I feel makes a difference. Capturing a moment in time is something so special. You can literally freeze time, right then and there. My work allows me to give the timeless gift of photographs to my clients, friends, and family.

ndsu.childvisionlab@ndsu.edu or call (701) 231-5495 or visit www.ndsu.edu/centers/cvcn/labs/balas.

The biggest challenge for me is finding and keeping the balance between work and my family. When you own your own business, especially a photography february • march twenty sixteen | on the minds of moms

mompreneur favorite lens for all of my outdoor sessions and it gives me the most dreamy images for my clients when I’m working in great light.

growing up what did you want to be? When I was a kid I wanted to grow up and be a pediatrician. I did end up working in medicine and loved caring for sick people, but then the photography bug bit me!

what is your favorite session to shoot? My favorite session isn’t really of a certain age or gender, but rather what I call my “golden-hour” sessions. Those are done primarily in the late spring, summer, and fall, and are held during the last one to two hours before the sun sets. The light is so beautiful during that time of day. It’s warm, soft, and it envelopes whomever I’m photographing, adding so much to the final images. I’ve often been told my images from the golden hour are dreamy, and that is exactly what I strive for in those sessions.

how do you make time for you? A couple times a month, my husband and I go out

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together on a date night. Being with him always brings me joy. I know it sounds so cliché, but he really is my rock in all aspects of life and after nearly 19 years of marriage, we still enjoy each other’s company very much.

when not behind the camera what might we find you and your family doing? Well, from May to September we are lake people; every weekend you can find us pontooning, and spending time with other family. In the winter months the girls and I like to shop and enjoy a good long day of retail therapy when we can, while the guys love movie time. But nothing beats a nice dinner out as a family and quality veg time at home.

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shop talk

learning:

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how’d they do that?

photos: ndsu

on the minds of moms | february • march twenty sixteen

shop talk story by | ndsu psychology department

o you ever look at your children and wonder how they learn so much so quickly? Dr. Benjamin Balas and Dr. Erin Conwell in the Psychology Department at NDSU are conducting research to figure out how kids learn to recognize the people and objects around them and how they understand the things that people say to them. How do kids learn to tell happy faces apart from sad faces? If they’re looking at a new toy, how do they use their vision to work out if it’s going to feel bumpy or smooth? When they hear a new word, how do they decide what it means? How do they interpret different kinds of sentences? Children’s experience with different kinds of faces and words, sentences, and objects affects how good they are at solving these kinds of problems. In the Balas lab and the Conwell lab, Ben and Erin study how experience changes the way kids’ brains use different kinds of information for recognizing people and objects and also how it affects the guesses children make about what words and sentences mean. tools of the trade How do the researchers work out what a child’s brain is doing to recognize something? One tool they use is a technique called electroencephalography [or EEG] that allows them to listen in on the brain’s activity while infants and children are looking at pictures or listening to sentences in the lab. An EEG cap contains a set of small sensors that sit on top of a person’s head

and record the electrical signals that brain cells make when they’re sending signals to each other. In the lab, researchers can pick out an EEG cap that’s just the right size for a baby or young child, put it on the child’s head, and listen to what different parts of the brain do when children see pictures of different kinds of faces and objects or hear certain kinds of sentences. Most experiments only take a few minutes, and kids can get a picture of themselves wearing some awesome EEG sensors when they’re done! what you lookin’ at? There are a lot of great things about using EEG to study what kids can do. First, it’s a safe method that can be used with newborns, young children, and adults, which makes it easier to understand the way the brain changes over many years. Second, it helps researchers find out what very young kids can do even though they’re too small to do a task on a computer. Finally, it’s always fun to be able to show parents and other caregivers what their child’s brain is doing. EEG is just one tool Ben and Erin use to understand how children learn, though. Another way to understand what children think about the world is to use eye tracking to study where they look when they hear a sentence or view a scene. In some of the studies in Erin’s lab, children are asked to follow silly instructions [i.e., “Give the lion the cheese.”] or watch videos with unusual actions [such as using a conveyor belt to

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Love. Hope. Family. february • march twenty sixteen | on the minds of moms

shop talk move animals] and then researchers see what parts of the scene children were looking at during different points in time. Children and adults make anticipatory eye movements, meaning they look where they think something is going to happen, which tells researchers what predictions they’re making as they listen to a sentence or watch a movie. this or that? Sometimes, both labs also use low-tech methods, like asking children to make a choice between two options [i.e., “is this person happy or sad?”], sort cards into piles, or fill in the last word of a story. Even something as simple as which choice kids make when something is

ambiguous can tell researchers a lot about how they’re learning and what they expect to be true about the world. Both labs are always happy to show parents what they’re learning about child development and the brain through their research, and they love answering questions about how kids learn all the wonderful things they can do. The labs have studies for children of all ages, from infants to ten years old. For more information on their studies or to find out how your child can participate, please visit their websites. https://www.ndsu.edu/centers/ cvcn/labs/conwell/ or https://www.ndsu.edu/centers/ cvcn/labs/balas/

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gettin’ through it

calm the stress monster with mindfulness

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story by | darcy simonson

please, homework to tackle [after a long day in school, no less], loneliness, bullies, hormones, issues at home, and to top it off, monsters under the bed [hey, they could be real].

Children have little to stress about, some think, but I don’t agree. Their partial list of stressors might include parents to appease, siblings who tease, teachers to

I’ve been known to lecture about how our thoughts shape our reality, how we choose to feel stressed or not, or how when we worry we only attract more to worry about, because I believe it. But if you haven’t yet explored these philosophies, they probably won’t

dults have good reason to stress, or so we think. There are bills to pay, demands at work, schedules to meet, partners to consider, hungry children at our feet, isolation, and the list goes on and on.

on the minds of moms | february • march twenty sixteen

gettin’ through it

do you any good when you or your child is smack in the middle of a stress attack. What you need is relief NOW, and the best way to find it is exactly that—by staying present in the NOW. Stress is real, and some of it purposeful. If you are walking down the street and a hungry lion is heading toward you, stress signals it’s time to flee. Fortunately, we don’t come across as many hungry lions as we once did in the evolution of our species. But in today’s busy world, people operate much of the time with a degree of constant or acute stress. Perceived threats come in the form of things like money worries, heavy demands, responsibilities, body issues, and media-perpetuated fear for our safety. These stressors may not have fur and claws, but they still have teeth. The damage stress creates when it takes a bite out of our peace is witnessed in our bodies, relationships, and life, whether we’re experiencing it at age five or fifty-five. I’m going to give you a tool that, when practiced, will not only help relieve stress now, but can protect you and your child from falling prey to acute stress in the future. mindfulness Mindfulness is a buzzword these days, which thrills me, but what is mindfulness and how can it make a difference in your or your child’s life? Mindfulness is simply being present in the moment. When we are in the moment, we’re not stressing about

what has happened in the past or what might happen in the future. The present moment is the only thing we truly have any power to influence. Even if that moment is not what we’d like it to be, when we fully experience and process it [feel the feelings] we can deal with it NOW so that it won’t haunt us in the form of stress-producing fear, shame, doubt, guilt, and so forth. Below are a few ways you can begin to incorporate mindful-living into the fabric of your family. Although I have written them as adult-led activities to do with children, these exercises are for all ages. Practice these techniques for your benefit, as well for your children’s. walk quietly Initiate a practice of walking through the neighborhood, the park, or wherever you can in silence. Listen to the sounds along the way and notice the people or animals that cross your path. Feel the weather on your skin, the terrain beneath your feet, the smells that waft by your nose. When you begin this practice, I suggest that after the walk you and your children have a quiet discussion about what they noticed, and how it felt to walk in silence, present to everything around them. Eventually, there will be no need for discussion. Presence itself will be enough. sense inside Play a body-sensing game with your children. Sit quietly, close your eyes, and scan your body for sensations from the top of your head to the tips of your toes. Invite them to notice how their bodies feel on the inside. Do they feel bubbles in their tummies, ringing in their ears, sour, sweet, or bitter tastes on their

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gettin’ through it tongues? Do parts of their bodies feel uncomfortable, and what can they do to relieve it?

feel feelings To heal, one must feel. Invite your children to tell you how they feel, and what it feels like to feel that way, WHEN they are feeling it. Help them to see that emotions are fleeting and that they can experience and let them go safely and supported.

taste the moment Mindful eating entails complete presence with one’s food. It allows room at the table for gratitude, enjoyment, nurturing, sensitivity to being satisfied, and sensual awareness of flavors and textures. Unfortunately, generations of people have been taught It is an excellent way to prevent a habit of what I call that it is somehow unsafe to feel, which, frankly, makes speed-eating, an unfortunate manner of eating many me feel sad. Stuffing emotion is enormously stress over-scheduled children are spoon-fed from the time producing and will only cause one to burst at some they enter school, if not before. Mindfully eating can point. For you and your children’s sake, be mindful of prevent over-eating or habitual eating, too. It can give your words. Phrases passed down through the ages children the awareness within which to make better such as “grow up, act your age,” “toughen up,” and the choices. To begin, encourage your children to notice dreaded “big boys [or girls] don’t cry,” obviously encourage textures and tastes. Help them find the words to bring children to stuff their emotions. Then there are more their experience to life, such as salty, bitter, and crunchy. subtle ways of encouraging children not to feel, such Put your forks down between bites and focus on what as “don’t let it bother you,” “everything will be okay,” the body is feeling and when it is truly satisfied. Mindful “it’s not as bad as you think.” Everything will be okay eating will help your children develop a positive mental when children [and adults] first allow themselves to relationship with food, as well as physical, eliminating fully explore how and why they are feeling an emotion stress and stress hormones such as cortisol. Their minds and can come to understand it, accept it, and let it go. and bodies will digest better without stress.

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gettin’ through it Encourage your children [and yourself] to recognize an emotion in the very moment it arises, allow it, and express it in a safe manner so that they can process it and let it move through them, rather than store it within them in the form of anger, hurt, hate, fear, etc., which results in stress. mindfulness starts now Stress and worry are often habits, and, like all habits, can be broken. It takes some resolve, but once you and your family begin to practice mindfulness, consciously controlling your thoughts and directing them back to the present moment, the benefits will make the effort worthwhile. Model mindfulness, being fully present in the moment, and witness a sweeter, calmer connection within you, your child, and between you and your children. Eventually, mindfulness will replace stress as your new go-to and acute stress will dissolve, making room for inner peace, acceptance of what is, and living a life you love. Darcy Simonson is a Fargo native, graduate of MSUM, Relationship Consultant, Life and Spiritual Mentor, hypnotherapist, meditation teacher, and the author of To Love Your Life; Release What Was, Embrace What Is, and Become Wildly Wonderful You. Through in-depth self-examination, observation, artistic and intuitive abilities, and training in hypnotherapy, stress management and other healing modalities, Darcy has guided thousands of people to explore their mental, physical, and spiritual makeups, and make positive changes. Her favorite life-work has been raising her three sons, ages 25, 21, and 17, who bravely blaze their own trails.

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big

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he New Year usually has everyone dreaming of bigger and better things. I, to the contrary, am welcoming 2016 in a small way. And this smaller view is turning into one of the biggest adventures I have taken to date. That’s right; the big downsize is happening. Sounds funny doesn’t it, like jumbo shrimp, pretty ugly, or definitely maybe. Oxymoron aside, my husband and I made a decision almost six months ago to downsize from our home and move into an apartment. We are close to hitting our one-month anniversary in our new place and I have learned that the smallest move we have ever made is one of my biggest challenges. I don’t want to speak for my family [mainly my husband] but their biggest obstacle, I am sure, is dealing with me. More specifically, my roller coaster of emotions.

and realized there were a lot of empty rooms and a whole lot of quiet. Discussion, more discussion, and then the big decision. The “For Sale” sign went up and we started to trim down. At first it was easy. It began with the kids packing heavy for college. They took beds, dressers, area rugs, and couches. I packed up dishes, pots, and pans. I think I even gave them bags of groceries from the pantry. I wouldn’t need them because I was now living the carefree smaller life. Apparently in my mind this translated to not needing noodles or sauce anymore. I think at one point I even offered up my crock pot [that’s just plain crazy. Thank goodness they didn’t take it!]. It was as if I was starring in my own version of Pay it Forward. That may be a little dramatic—I probably wasn’t making the world a better place. But, in my defense, the kids’ apartments were really taking shape.

It began with the end, so to speak. Our youngest graduated from high school and we looked around

I guess I was just plain feeling good about it and, dare I say, I was actually feeling hip. I can totally live in an

story by | deb uglem

www.onthemindsofmoms.com

on the minds of moms | february • march twenty sixteen

oh, by the way apartment downtown. Doing all the cool stuff that people do when they downsize. I had visions of buying modern furniture, sitting at coffee shops, and strolling through interesting stores as we decided where to have dinner. Who knew that it would result in the same furniture, using the Keurig [still cool], and finding a new gas station? I had already given most of my stuff away to the kids and I felt like a guest on that old TLC show Clean Sweep. We even had a city dumpster in the driveway. This is where my nervous reality took over and I actually started acting like a real guest on Clean Sweep. You know, the crazy guest that would start crying when she looked at an old handbag or birdcage? I would see my husband carry something very precious and heading in the direction of the dumpster and I would start yelling. Of course we needed to keep that flat volleyball and practice hockey pucks. The guy had gone rogue! I even dug some things out of that dumpster that he managed to throw without my knowledge. How could he not see the importance of stickers, high-school papers, and summer camp T-shirts? He probably snuck by me when I was taking pictures of pictures and texting them to the kids with “do you remember this?” captions. I am sure they thought mom was losing it but they played along and sent a cute emoji back.

friends stopping by like old times, visiting about the future, and finding places for everyone to sleep. Could it be the smaller the space the closer we are? Maybe. Yes. Absolutely! As I was visiting with the kids’ friends one of them said, “The squad isn’t ready for the big downsize.” Wow! I love “the squad!” I smiled and said I wasn’t sure if I was ready either but we were going to be fine. Home is truly where the heart is. So the lesson I have learned over this adventure, hold tight to the past [firm grip on storage-garage key] and hang tighter to the people who get you through change. Whatever 2016 brings, you embrace the future, hold tight to the past, and enjoy the present. Here’s to a Happy New Year! Raised in Finley, ND, Deb has called Fargo—Moorhead area her home for the last 14 years. A graduate of Drake University in Des Moines, IA, with a degree in Journalism and Mass Communications, she is currently Marketing & Communications Director for Wanzek Construction. Deb welcomes the pleasant distraction that writing brings and thanks her children, Jake [22], Tony [21], Nick [21], and Emily [19] for inspiration. Deb and her husband Tim like to spend their free time with their kids and on the golf course.

My rollercoaster of emotions took another 180 and we were back on track. It’s strange how I calmed down, much in part due to the compromise my husband and I came up with during that month of sifting through our items. Here’s the compromise: I started packing everything from the boys’ first hockey sticks to a little girl’s team swim cap and he simply ignored that it was happening. All I can say is he is a brilliant man! The result is an over-packed storage unit and a parents’ basement that has never been more full. It worked. I was back on track and ready for our downtown adventure.

www.onthemindsofmoms.com

Of course my husband was still excited and now almost giddy about the move. I am sure it has more to do with not worrying about snow removal than my more practical concern about closet space or lack thereof. When it was all said and done we moved with a desk, chair, couch, and bed. I felt excited, like anything could happen. It is truly a good way to start a new year. A clean slate, a trimmed-down closet, literally no baggage. The kids came home for the holiday and although we were a little cramped in our space I totally enjoyed their february • march twenty sixteen | on the minds of moms

black bean and cheese enchiladas shared by | kari klingsporn hitterdal

n my quest to find recipes that are interesting, I choose those with the least amount of processed ingredients and that are relatively simple to make. These black bean and cheese enchiladas are a family favorite and fit the criteria I consider when planning meals. Side note: do not be intimidated by the DIY enchilada sauce. It is worth the little bit of effort required beyond the usual can opener for canned enchilada sauce. Enjoy this late winter jolt of flavor!

you need:

how to:

black bean filling 2 cups shredded cheese [I prefer Monterrey jack and/or white cheddar] 3 cups black beans [or 2 cans, drained and rinsed] 2 large cloves garlic, chopped or put through a garlic press 2 teaspoons cumin 1 ½ tablespoons red chili powder cayenne pepper to taste [optional]

1. Combine all the ingredients for the black bean filling together in a large bowl. Set aside. 2. For the red enchilada sauce, melt butter over low heat in a medium saucepan. 3. Add flour to melted butter and combine well, cooking until golden. 4. Stir in broth and whisk until thoroughly combined. Add seasonings. 5. Cook at medium low for 10 minutes, stirring occasionally. 6. Turn heat down to low and allow sauce to simmer for 5 minutes. The sauce will be slightly thickened. Remove from heat, allow to cool slightly. 7. Dip tortillas into sauce. 8. Add a few tablespoons of the bean and cheese mixture, roll, and place into 8x10 baking dish. 9. Pour remaining sauce over the top of enchiladas and top with 1 cup cheese. 10. Bake at 350° for 20–25 minutes.

red enchilada sauce 2 tablespoons butter 3 tablespoons flour ¼ cup red chili powder 3 cups vegetable stock ¾ teaspoon salt or to taste 1 large clove of garlic, crushed 1 teaspoon Mexican oregano 1 teaspoon cumin cayenne pepper to taste [optional] other ingredients 6 large or 10 medium flour tortillas or 12 corn tortillas 1 cup shredded cheese

Optional ideas for serving: salsa, lettuce, sour cream, chopped tomato, avocado, or onion. These enchiladas can easily be made vegan by omitting the cheese and substituting two cups sauteed onion, red bell pepper, or spinach. Meat can also be added by cutting the beans down to 1 cup and adding 2 cups of cooked ground beef or shredded chicken. Make a little extra for future meals…black bean and cheese enchiladas freeze well!

food for thought

feeding your family TIP: Do you worry about your child’s diet and nutrition like I do? Here’s a trick I learned when my oldest was a toddler that I try to employ whenever I am feeling like my kids haven’t been eating the best. Keep some of your child’s favorite vegetables cut up and ready to eat and have a hummus or homemade healthy dip at the ready. Remember the pre-chopped options in the produce department to save yourself some time. I don’t know about your kiddos, but mine have always been more excited to eat something if it is cut into interesting shapes or served on a fun plate. Vegetables ready to eat are also nice to have on hand because you have something ready for an after-school snack! This is also a great trick if you need to buy yourself time because dinner isn’t quite ready and the kiddos are famished. Even if they don’t eat much dinner, at least they filled up on something healthy. Cut yourself some slack, busy mama, and make it easy. Kari's passion for food, family, and fun has been with her since her upbringing on her beloved Big Floyd Lake near Detroit Lakes, MN. She earned Secondary Education degrees in both Social Studies and English from Concordia College in Moorhead, MN. She enjoyed a brief stint as a caterer and cooking instructor, but has proudly spent most of her motherhood as a stay-at-home mom. Her husband, Brent, and three children, Gunnar, Ava, and Ella, have all [mostly] been eager taste testers to whatever is on the table for dinner. However, these days, having a high schooler, a middle schooler, and a second grader is providing new challenges of feeding everyone homemade and healthy meals, as well as giving her oven an intense workout most weeknights! photo: thuen studios | scott thuen

Fargo Shanley High School and Arizona State University Graduate, Greg is a big believer in God’s mercy and love. He and Angie, wife of 18 years, together for 26 years, have three kiddos, Zach [13], and twins,

Jake and Paige [10]. When Greg isn’t busy as an Estimator/Project Manager for Northern Improvement Co. [highway construction], you can find him with his family going to their lake cabin rental, playing Nerf Hoop, and hitting tennis balls.

photos: caitlin killoran photography | caitlin killoran

greg mccormick

rad dad

age 41, fargo.nd

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children, and live in San Diego.

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have been to the NBA Finals, Super Bowl, World Series, and Rose Bowl.

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my first ever job… sweeping the shop at Northern Improvement, pulling nails from wood forms, and tying reinforcing steel.

I’m a terrible singer and a Philadelphia 76ers fan.

funniest person i know…

three things on my bucket list…

my son, Zachary.

go to Wimbledon in England, meet our great-grand-

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rad dad

my favorite saying… never mistake activity for achievement [John Wooden].

weirdest thing i’ve eaten… Lik-m-Aid Fun Dip.

i can do without… meatloaf, beef stroganoff, and squash.

something i’m excited about… watching our twins grow and how their relationship develops.

the coolest thing about my wife… she gets all my inside jokes because of our history.

my TV channel of choice… www.onthemindsofmoms.com

DirecTV 720 for the Atlanta Braves. My dad, mom, brother, and sister all love the Braves.

the last time i was really nervous… the November North Dakota Department of Transportation bid letting.

my biggest claim to fame… my only claim to fame is 1993 ND High School Class A State Champion in the 800 Meter Dash.

on the minds of moms | february • march twenty sixteen

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just a thought

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live like howard 46

on the minds of moms | february • march twenty sixteen

just a thought story by | kathleen wrigley

on several cylinders, including reminding me of my father-in-law, Howard Wrigley. Howard was one month shy of his 80th birthday when he died [suddenly] in July.

arper Wrigley [our youngest child] is seven years old. Like most kids her age, she is full of joy. She loves to sing and is tirelessly chatty. Her teenage siblings swing between encouraging and enjoying her to shushing and stifling her enthusiastic presence. She stopped trying to figure out their pendulum and oftentimes is content to sing and talk to herself. She was helping me clean bathrooms when I overheard a conversation she was having…with herself. Straddling the tub to scrub the wall, she said, “Ooooo, don’t slip, Harper. Don’t slip. But…that’s life. Gotta take risks in life.” I never did outwardly acknowledge her private conversation, but my heart swelled.

By the time this article hits the stands, our New Year’s resolutions will be either in full swing or in our rear-view mirrors, just another memory. I don’t usually make ambitious resolutions, and never share them publicly. Neither, to my knowledge, did my father-in-law. He didn’t require much. He didn’t say much, either, unless he had something on his mind. He never shied from sharing his opinion. He simply lived. Quietly but boldly. He stretched outside his comfort zone and took risks. My 2016 promise is to live more like Howard Wrigley.

Like you, I’m trying to catch my breath from the frenzied holidays. I’m under the gun of a hard deadline to get this column written and edited before the magazine goes to print. I’m never without “thoughts” for possible column ideas. I have a collection of sticky notes and journal entries and text messages to myself with potential topics. And I had other ideas for this one, but I couldn’t shake overhearing Harper’s conversation about “taking risks in life.” It kept tugging at me. It hit

Howard had a tremendous presence in our lives. I’m blessed to have had a loving relationship with my fatherin-law. I realize this isn’t everyone’s good fortune. And I am cautious to write about him, because he wasn’t my dad. His three grown children and his wife of 59 years eulogized him at his funeral and throughout their adult lives, each in their unique way and in ways no one else could. So I tread lightly, but I can’t resist the constant nudge to share him, especially since overhearing Harper’s

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just a thought comment, “gotta take risks in life,” and knowing what a kick Grampa would’ve gotten hearing it. Howard’s absence is hard. There is a gaping hole. His guidance and common-sense advice is sorely missed. The unconditional love he had for his family reverberates through us, individually and collectively. Howard Wrigley had a soft heart for helping people, from the refugees that Grama Gloria brought home, to the Scouts, the church, and the children at Shriners Hospitals. Howard worked hard, but had fun. He was a successful businessman because he took risks. Sometimes his plans worked, sometimes they didn’t. He learned from falling short and always got up and tried again. And up until his last earthly breath—which he drew at his favorite fishing getaway in the Canadian wilderness and in the arms of his oldest son—Howard Wrigley lived. Mightily. Howard’s blood pulses through little Harper’s veins: “gotta take risks in life.” I could almost feel the warmth of Howard’s smile at hearing little Harper, living like Grampa. Of course Howard’s influence is tangible in each of his three children, Blake, Tanya, and my husband, Drew.

Parents are directly connected to their children, and Gloria and Howard were and are enmeshed in their children’s lives. But you know a person has lived a life so consequential when—in his earthly absence—his impact thrives and ripples through to the next generation, through our marriages, and through whole communities. Grampa’s legacy is etched in each of his grandchildren. The oldest grandchild, Maxwell Howard, bears his name and his keen engineering and mathematical skills. Quinn [our oldest daughter] is fearlessly loyal and breathtakingly determined. Just like her Grampa, Quinny is protective of her family. My nephew, Jack, is an idea man, like Grampa. He is bold, unafraid to be himself. Gracie, my niece, sets goals and works her tail-end off to achieve them. She is strong-minded, like Grampa Howard. Patrick Daniel Howard [our son], also bears Grampa’s first name, and will carry the Wrigley surname—no pressure, Sweet Boy. Patrick has Grampa’s soft heart and has the same twinkly, kind, light-blue eyes. And then there’s the littlest grand: Harper. Harper is genetically predisposed for fun. Like Grampa Howard, Harper makes life interesting. She is good-natured. She will take risks in life. She’ll fall—and smile, regroup, and get back up, just like Grampa Howard. Unlike her Grampa, Harper made a New Year’s resolution. She vows to “Work out. Every.Single.Sunday. No matter what.” Not Fridays. Not Mondays. Just Sunday.

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on the minds of moms | february • march twenty sixteen

As for me, I told my family I want to live like Howard Wrigley lived. I will love and protect my family. I will enjoy this life and have fun. I promise to take risks and work hard for things that matter to me, and to help other people along the way. And when I fall, I’ll pull myself up. Just like Grampa Howard taught us to do. What a magnificent and ever-present life! Kathleen serves on a number of community and statewide boards, committees, and leadership councils, and enjoys volunteering in church, in her kids’ school, and community programs/events. Kathleen is passionate about victims’ rights and helping to promote balance and fairness in the criminal justice system. She is also deeply interested in advocacy, education, programs, and research relating to the protection of children. Fitness is an integral part of Kathleen’s daily routine and helps her sustain her own mental health! Kathleen’s column “ just a thought” has been a regularly occurring piece in “on the minds of moms” since 2009. This Philadelphia native is married to a fourth-generation North Dakotan and ND’s Lieutenant Governor, Drew, and proudly considers North Dakota her home. They have three children. Before becoming a mom, she was director for Bismarck’s Child Advocacy Center and was a speechwriter. Kathleen received a BS from Pennsylvania State University and completed her graduate studies at Temple University in Philadelphia.

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liz hannig

story by | sheri kleinsasser stockmoe

myriad of questions crossed Liz’s mind as she entered the room hand in hand with her soon-to-be kindergartener. Would her daughter fit in with the other kids? Would the teacher be ready to tackle the challenges ahead? What if someone made her little girl feel bad? Only time would tell. The open-house event began with the teacher asking the young students to spread out on the carpet and sit in a circle. The children followed instructions, swiftly moving into a spot. Then there was a loud thud! It was Annie. “That’s my leg,” said the spunky five-year-old matter-of-factly as she shrugged her shoulders and motioned to the prosthetic leg lying in the center of the circle. Liz’s heart swells with the memory of her sweet girl embracing who she is. Yep, that is her Annie and she isn’t embarrassed or shy about what makes her unique and special. This is exactly what Liz hopes she is teaching her daughter.

limitless “My friends tell me on a frequent basis that I ‘married up,’” leg; foot is completely gone," Liz remembers hearing Troy says with a smile as he talks about his wife of the doctor say. 15 years. “And I totally agree with that statement!” “With tear-filled eyes Liz looked at me and we both knew These high school sweethearts married shortly after our family would have a long difficult road ahead,” Troy graduation and moved to Fargo, where Liz began her recalls. “Like any parents we only wanted the best for career at Dakota Montessori School and is currently our baby and we were both initially struck with fear the coordinator of the infant/toddler program. for what struggles Annie might have to overcome “Liz has an incredibly strong work ethic,” says Julia throughout her life.” Jones, Director of Dakota Montessori School. “She has The ultrasounds were so detailed that the lenses in always given 100% to her students and their families. Annie’s eyes could be seen, as well as the all the teeth She brings so much positive recognition to our school.” buds in her mouth. The doctor also determined there “I love my job very much,” Liz says as she talks about were no abnormalitied to Annie’s brain, spine, or facial the joy of taking care of babies and toddlers each day. structure. This was great news. When they had been married four years, the Hannigs were ready for their own baby. “I had one of those really easy pregnancies with Brooklyn,” Liz shares about her first daughter. “Nothing, not one thing, went wrong along the way or with the delivery.” Liz and Troy had no reason to expect anything different with their second pregnancy four years later. “I was very excited,” Liz remembers. “I was four or five weeks along and telling everyone in the world I was pregnant! I told my family and everyone at work, thinking this pregnancy would go just like the first.”

Liz remembers crying the entire time the tests were done. The doctor left to give Liz and Troy some time to themselves. Upon his return he provided some valuable perspective. “He told me, ‘You can be sad about this, and you need to grieve. It's a foot and it's a leg, but your daughter's going to be just fine so you need to stop being upset,’” Liz says. “He basically told me to put on my big-girl panties because there's things we can do. He said she's going to get a brace, she's going to get a prosthetic, and she's going to be just fine. He helped me realize, I need to stop. I need to be mom now.”

Liz returned home, began doing research, and found Shriners Hospital for Children. Per their website, they are “committed to providing the best care for children in our unexpected specialty areas of Orthopaedics, Burn Care, Spinal Cord In the first 13 weeks of her pregnancy, Liz began Injury, and Cleft Lip and Palate, regardless of a family’s hemorrhaging on two different occasions. Medical ability to pay.” Liz filled out the appropriate paperwork staff feared she was having a miscarriage and she was placed on bedrest. “I remember praying a lot saying, and Annie was accepted the month before she was born. "Whatever it takes, I want to keep my baby,"” Liz says baby annie as tears fill her eyes. On June 27, 2009, baby Annie entered the world. “On her right she had a severely clubbed foot,” Liz explains. “On Over the next several weeks things improved while her left side she was born with no fibula bone and an Troy and Liz anticipated their 20-week ultrasound. The couple found out they were having another daughter, underdeveloped foot, so her leg is very thin. And when she was about four or five months old they discovered Annabelle [Annie for short], “But the technician was she also had hip dysplasia [misalignment of the hip having a hard time seeing the legs,” Liz recalls. “The joint] on the left side as well.” doctor told us she had never experienced this and not

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But things would be much different.

seeing the legs could be a sign of other problems, like mental-handicap issues, or issues with the eyes and lenses, and we needed to see a specialist." A specialist from Sioux Falls came to Fargo to perform a number of 3D ultrasounds, each taking three to four hours. “Yep, you're definitely missing some bones in her

on the minds of moms | february • march twenty sixteen

Three days after being released from the hospital, Liz and Troy made their first of hundreds of trips to Shriners Hospital in Minneapolis with six-day-old Annie. By chance, there was a camp happening for amputee children. Liz was drawn to two young boys in the camp. Both were around ten years old and appeared to have

limitless similar amputations to their lower legs. Liz watched as one boy walked with arm crutches and the other ran and jumped with no assistance. Liz asked their doctor what made the boys different? “He said, ‘The difference is parenting,’” Liz recalls. “He explained that the boys had the exact same situation regarding their amputations, but the parents of the boy with crutches did everything for this child and he never had to work hard, while the other parents told their child,

At 11 months, with no chance of reconstruction, it was determined that Annie’s underdeveloped left foot needed to be amputated, which required she be in a body cast for eight weeks during recovery. In the last two years she has also undergone reconstruction of her left hip and right foot. And every nine months she requires a new leg prosthetic to accommodate her growing body. All tolled, Annie has had seven surgeries, countless hours of therapy, and is currently on her eighth prosthetic.

photos: liz hannig

Liz and Troy were prepared to provide everything they could to help their daughter maximize the gifts she has, but it hasn’t been easy. Annie has gone through numerous castings and braces in an attempt to correct her right clubbed foot and left-hip dysplasia. She received her first prosthetic at three months, which was the smallest prosthetic Shriners Hospital had ever made.

Through it all Annie has been a trooper and her mother helps her defy the odds. “The doctors told us when she was a baby that she'd probably never crawl, because you need your toes to crawl,” Liz says. “I teach small children, so I know how important crawling is for many reasons. Annie had an occupational therapist at the time who worked with her every week and I worked february • march twenty sixteen | on the minds of moms

www.onthemindsofmoms.com

'Nope, you can do it. We know you don't have two legs, “It's really hard seeing your child in pain, obviously,” but you can do it. We'll figure out a way.' That stuck with Liz states with tears in her eyes as she recalls all the me. Annie can do it; she can do anything. I just have to procedures Annie has endured. “When they give an have faith in her that she can do it. As hard as it is not 11-month-old Valium, it's awful. The full hip reconstruction to baby your child and make excuses for her…you can't.” when she was three…that was a tough, tough surgery.”

willing to hear limitless

for more information visit: Team Annie Hannig on Facebook Shriners Children’s Hospital www.shrinershospitalsforchildren.org

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on the minds of moms | february • march twenty sixteen

limitless with her very hard. She crawled at nine months and was walking by 17 months with her prosthetic.”

Troy and Liz can rest assured they are doing right by both of their daughters.

And what was it like to see Annie walk? “Amazing, it was awesome…it IS awesome!” Liz says with a sweet smile. Seeing her daughter achieve success has also been inspiring.

“I love my family because they always pick me up when I fall,” says 11-year-old Brooklyn. “They are always there for me, care about me, protect me, and love me so much. I can only repay them with my love.”

teamwork Annie says her mom makes her happy because she loves and cares for her and “Mom runs marathons for me because of my leg,” says the sweet, brown-eyed girl.

changes Over the last six years, Celeste Ertelt, Liz’s mom, has watched her own daughter in awe. “Annie's journey has made us all stronger and Lizzy has a strength that keeps her going no matter what the problem is…she is much stronger and braver than her mother!” Celeste says proudly. “Lizzy has become a strong advocate. She isn’t afraid to ask questions or state her opinion.”

The Hannigs created Team Annie as a way to raise money and awareness for Shriners Hospitals. “We started Annie in the kiddie marathons to show her that yeah, we might have to walk it, but at least you can do it. You have to be proud that you can do it!” Liz says. The goal behind Team Annie is simple…no excuses. “I want her to know

you can do whatever you want to do, you just have to try. Hey, Mommy's not a runner, and I ran! I know how important it is to show her you can do it if you try."

“But you can't be non-confrontational when you have a child with a disability,” she says. Celeste can easily find an example of her daughter’s ability to take on a challenge when it warrants. “Recently, Lizzy and Troy's family were required to change healthcare insurance providers. Lizzy stayed up one night and read the coverage booklet from beginning to end. She found out that it only covered one prosthetic per amputee per lifetime!” Liz couldn’t believe this was right. “Mama Bear came out!” she says with a laugh. First, she turned to social media support groups to see if a situation like this had

february • march twenty sixteen | on the minds of moms

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Being a team is exactly how the Hannig family has always approached Annie’s journey. “While I was pregnant I did a lot of reading on raising siblings of children with disabilities,” Liz shares. “I never wanted Brooklyn to feel like she didn’t get enough attention. We have worked very hard to make Brooklyn as much a part of this as we are. She's been to every doctor's appointment and surgery. And we really focus on keeping things even-steven. If Annie gets to do something special, then we do something special for Brooklyn. She's a very good big sister.”

Liz believes that most people who know her would agree she is a non-confrontational person by nature.

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limitless happened anywhere else. “I heard it had happened in New York, and my heart dropped at the prospect this could actually happen, because prosthetics are very expensive,” she says about the prospect of insurance not helping Annie when a new prosthetic is required every nine months until she is about 15 years old. “It's amazing to me that initially this policy was written that way and there were people who thought it was fine.”

for new parents having a child with a disability. “I did not have a very good experience in the hospital after having Annie,” Liz shares. “The nurses and doctors just weren’t prepared for what she was born with. There was a lot of talking and what felt like gawking and individuals quick to voice assumptions and possible diagnoses she might have had. It didn’t feel like there was a lot of compassion being given.”

Shriners Hospital assured Liz they would help the Hannigs with the cost of upcoming prosthetics. "It's not that I don't want to use that, but that's not what Shriners is there for,” she says. “They need to keep going. They don't need to give me everything.” So Liz went to work. She spent hours on the phone and filled out paperwork while reaching out to the insurance company, North Dakota Disability Services, and state officials. All the while she made it clear she was willing to do everything in her power to bring awareness to the situation, if that’s what it took to bring about change.

Liz approached the hospital and spoke to some nurses about her experience and how awful it made her feel. “I have been able to do some work with March of Dimes and some of the local nursing directors to teach them what is and what isn’t appropriate to say to people who have children born with disabilities.”

“One day a head policy writer for the insurance company called Lizzy and thanked her, saying it was something they had missed in the coverage plan and that it would be changed,” Celeste says, proud of the change her daughter facilitated. Liz has also done her part to improve the experience

on the minds of moms | february • march twenty sixteen

In addition to raising funds through Team Annie, Liz also supports the Shriners Hospital by doing public speaking and thanking any Shriner she comes in contact with. “It is a phenomenal organization, and unfortunately people don't know about it until they need help. I didn't know until I had a child in need, but the Shriners do amazing things for all sorts of different disabilities.” Knowing the benefits of a good support system, Liz has undergone training to be a parent support for other parents through Family Voices of North Dakota and for amputees’ parents at Shriners Hospital in

limitless Minneapolis. “You need support, that's going to be a major thing,” Liz recommends for parents facing the birth of a child with a disability. “Get as much support as you can going into it, because it's tough. I am very blessed to have co-workers, friends, and family who get me through this.”

each time for the Hannigs. Liz is the designated driver home while Troy and the girls fall asleep. She gets a coffee, puts on her sunglasses, and, as her passengers sleep…”I cry almost every single time,” she say. “Sometimes they're happy tears, and sometimes they're sad tears that Annie has to go through this. If I could change places with her, I would, but I can’t.”

“Take things a day at a time!” Troy adds as advice for parents. “Don't worry about things that can happen in No, she can’t change places, but those around Liz can the distant future, because we have very little control easily see the positive lessons she is teaching not only over most things that far out. Instead, take things one her daughters but everyone she is in contact with. challenge at a time and before you know it you will “Liz took what was a frightening, unexpected medical pull through things that you never thought you or diagnosis head-on,” says Julia. “Her positive spirit has your family could survive. And don't feel sorry for carried her through many dark days. I am very proud yourself! It’s easy to dwell on problems, but feeling sorry of her ‘we can do this’ attitude. Disability? Nothing for yourself doesn't help you come up with solutions. stops you from achieving your goals. You may have to Instead, count your blessings! Focus on the positive go about it a different way, but there is no limit!” aspects of your situation. Things could always be worse So don’t be surprised when you see Annie Hannig and there are definitely other people out there who running, swimming, jumping on trampolines, skiing, have been in your shoes, too.” or doing a million other activities with no fear or selflessons consciousness…her mom taught her that. The return trip from Shriners Hospital is pretty typical

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ready, set, grow

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f you haven’t heard of STEAM yet, trust us, you will know all about it soon. Not only is the philosophy sweeping its way through K–12 education systems across the country, schools in our region have already started the process of increasing STEAM learning opportunities for students. Plus, the concept will have a major impact on the careers our children will be exposed to and expected to fill. Consider this: the U.S Department of Commerce estimates that jobs in science, technology, engineering, and math [these, in addition to art, are STEAM’s core components] will grow 17 percent by 2018—nearly double the growth for non-STEAM fields. By 2018 the U.S. will have more than 1.2 million unfilled STEAM jobs because there will not be enough qualified workers. But STEAM is not all number crunching, coding, graphic design, and robotics. It’s actually really fun and can be incorporated at any age. Here’s why we love STEAM!

1 0 1 stea m what every parent needs to know about this innovative concept

ready, set, grow

seven teachers from fargo public schools middle-school level technology and engineering departments recently completed pltw’s gateway curriculum training for the design and modeling course.

wee ones [0–18 months]

efore you think about handing your baby a circuit board, let’s get some background.

STEAM first started out as STEM. The idea and acronym [which, some say, was coined by a former president of Winona State University in Minnesota] is roughly traced to the early 2000s. The initial program, says an article in Education Week Teacher magazine, was “…designed for a specific purpose—to integrate and apply knowledge of math and science in order to create technologies and solutions for real-world problems, using an engineering design approach.”

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stem or steam? Several years after its inception STEM programs across

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the country were asked to consider adding arts to their curriculums. The debate is still ongoing among educators and STEM backers. Early adopters of STEM programs say that art is already incorporated into the program and doesn’t need an acronym to prove it. A recent article in The Forum, however, noted that the idea for STEAM “… has gained support from the North Dakota Department of Public Instruction, which funded a recent STEAM conference and will develop a website that refers to the acronym.” So, for the sake of this article, we’re going to incorporate arts and call it STEAM. It should be known, also, that Moorhead, Fargo, and West Fargo school districts take STEAM programs seriously. West Fargo launched its STEAM program back in 2011 [although the district, like the others, still refers to it as STEM]. Moorhead provides STEAM exploratory classes for all middle school students and offers STEAM electives for high school students. STEAM is a massive part of Fargo’s new strategic plan, details of which were first released in May 2015. All the districts have partnered with Project Lead The Way [PLTW], the nation’s leading provider of K–12 STEAM programs, to introduce STEAM into the schools and ensure local teachers are being certified to teach the curriculum. During a STEAM class in the metro area students might design a playground and furniture using Autodesk® design software or may use the VEX Robotics® platform to design, build, and program real-world objects such as traffic lights, toll booths, and robotic arms. Kinda cool to think that your little bambino will be designing and programming robots when he/she’s in school, isn’t it?

want more ideas? check out an early childhood family education [ecfe] class in moorhead. awesome steam concepts perfect for

ready, set, grow

your toddler are incorporated into almost every class!

tots

[18 months–3 years]

elieve it or not, you can actually start introducing STEAM concepts at home with your tot. No, we don’t mean teaching your tot to hack into your neighbor’s Netflix account. We’re talking science experiments you can do at home together! ooey-gooey fun Since kids are naturally curious about the world around them, why not let them learn with some hands-on fun? Here’s several STEAM-oriented science projects we love: coffee filter color mixing Put a coffee filter on top of a paper towel and let your child drip some yellow food coloring from an eye dropper onto the filter. Then have him top it off with some blue food coloring. Watch what happens! Be sure to ask him about the colors that he sees and find out if he can think of something in nature that shares the same color.

礀䠀攀愀氀琀栀䈀攀栀愀瘀椀漀爀猀

眀眀眀⸀栀攀愀爀琀漀昀戀攀栀愀瘀椀漀爀⸀挀漀洀匀攀爀瘀椀渀最一漀爀琀栀䐀愀欀漀琀愀愀渀搀眀攀猀琀攀爀渀䴀椀渀渀攀猀漀琀愀⸀ 䌀栀攀挀欀甀猀漀甀琀漀渀氀椀渀攀Ⰰ 愀渀搀氀椀欀攀甀猀漀渀䘀愀挀攀戀漀漀欀℀

milk plastic Heat up one cup of milk until it’s hot [not boiling]. Pour it into a separate bowl and then add four teaspoons of vinegar. Stir and watch the milk become lumpy. Then strain it and let cool. You can then take the remaining gunk and mold it into any shape you want. It’s like modeling clay, except it will become hard as a rock when it dries.

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䤀猀礀漀甀爀挀栀椀氀搀⼀猀琀甀搀攀渀琀猀琀爀甀最最氀椀渀最㼀䠀攀愀爀琀漀昀䈀攀栀愀瘀椀漀爀挀愀渀栀攀氀瀀⸀ 匀攀爀瘀椀挀攀猀愀琀栀漀洀攀Ⰰ 猀挀栀漀漀氀愀渀搀椀渀琀栀攀挀漀洀洀甀渀椀琀礀⸀

water magnification Locate a cardboard oatmeal container, plastic cling wrap, a rubber band, and a few small toys. Secure the cling wrap over the top of the container with a rubber band. Have a grown-up cut a hole in the side of the container big enough so a hand can fit through holding one of those small toys. Finally, pour some water into the top of the cling wrap and let your tyke take a look at how big the toys look now!

ready, set, grow

got a little coder on your hands? check out scratchjr, a free ipad app that helps children as young as five learn to code.

preschoolers [3–5 years]

ids these ages love their screen time. Why not turn their daily iPad ritual into a STEAM session with these awesome apps? Even though they’re not free [running about $4 each], they’re waaaayyyy better than another episode of Sofia the First.

sid’s science fair Based on the popular PBS Kids cartoon, this app teaches your preschoolers about nature, patterns, and time. Charts help them visualize data and chronology exercises help them learn cause-and-effect. They won’t even know they’re learning!

app-tastic! odd bot out Your preschooler needs to help Odd, the one-eyed robot, escape from his factory’s recycling bin! Your kiddo will guide Odd through 100 unique rooms filled with puzzle games, like building a bridge, designing a car, and hitching a ride on a robotic centipede. thinkrolls 2 Physics, logic, and trial and error—these are the cornerstones of Thinkrolls 2. Your munchkin will take his/her Thinkroll through a series of vertical mazes by moving the objects around them, or escaping through wormholes. This game is great for building determination because there is always more than one solution.

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ready, set, grow

javascript, html, php are some of the most popular coding languages.

big kids [6–9 years]

here has been much attention given to the fact that women are still grossly underrepresented in the STEAM fields. Exact percentages are hard to pinpoint, but most estimates show that women make up only between 10 and 30 percent in these fields. It’s disappointing, to say the least, and disturbing on a grander scale. Not just for gender reasons, although discrimination against girls for ANY reason is disturbing. No, it’s disturbing because women make up half the earth’s population—that’s a lot of brainpower that could be enriching everyone’s lives and shaping the future of our existence. Not only does STEAM need girls, girls need STEAM, too. The question arises, though, how do you cultivate your grade school girl into thinking she can run the [science] world?

Second, embrace her curiosities. For some reason, many people expect boys to be into insects, poop, and other “gross” things. But these things are curiosities to all kids. If your daughter shows an interest in bugs,

Three, learn a new language. We’re not necessarily talking about another spoken language [although that’s a great idea, too]. In this case, we’re talking code—or the languages spoken by computers. Women and girls make up half of all tech consumers, yet are largely uninvolved with the development of tech. Learning code is the first step toward changing that. Don’t worry if you don’t know where to get started. There are lots of coding apps available for self-teaching, and more coding camps are popping up around the metro.

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Sometimes it’s about who’s there for you when you need them most. www.onthemindsofmoms.com

the world is her laboratory First, don’t assume your daughter CAN’T do things. Just because you feel or experience limitations as a grown up doesn’t mean she feels the same way. She may not notice—yet—that girls are still steered toward predominantly female-driven careers like teaching or nursing. You don’t have to point that out to her—yet. But when she does start to notice—and she will—that’s your cue to start addressing inequality, and, more importantly, brainstorming ways together to change it.

go with it. Your job is not to steer the ship, but to help her navigate and learn about the world around her.

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ready, set, grow

steam is core component to 21st century learning, something the fargo public school district emphasizes.

tweeners [10–12 years]

iddle school is often the first real introduction children to have to STEAM. It may come in the form of a requirement or an elective or an opportunity to participate in an after-school program or camp. If your kids have the chance to participate in a STEAM program, take it. Even if they’re not totally interested in science or engineering, these are the skills they need to be learning to not get left behind. Why? More school curriculums will be focusing on STEAM-related courses, and these are the types of majors or jobs that will be most in-demand once kids begin thinking about college and a career. Perhaps most important, though, is that STEAM incorporates genius methodologies that combine multiple subjects into one holistic learning experience. the right balance The subjects that make up STEAM—science, technology, engineering, art, and mathematics—are not treated as mutually exclusive components. Rather, they are

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integrated, overlapped, and meshed so that one cannot exist without the other. THIS is the reason why STEAM works so well with middle schoolers. As their brains develop kids these ages are trying hard to determine their interests, which often relate to what they’re good at. How often have you heard a 7th-grade girl complain, “I’m not good at math.” Or a 6th-grade boy strut, “Reading is for girls.” And then they just want to give up on it. With STEAM, subjects are woven together so that’s it’s virtually impossible for any kid to single out one subject and say he’s no good at it. This, in turn, prevents his self-esteem from taking a hit, which, as we all know, is a major piece of adolescent development. Studying and observing first, without the fear of getting something wrong, encourages confidence and risk-taking in the classroom. Sources: ·· http://www.todaysparent.com/kids/technology/stem-apps-for-kids/image/7/ ·· http://www.edweek.org/tm/articles/2014/11/18/ctq-jolly-stem-vs-steam.html ·· http://www.inforum.com/news/education/3726222-gaining-steam-artsproponents-push-programming-within-k-12-schools ·· http://www.fargo.k12.nd.us/education/page/download.php?fileinfo= RlBTX1N0cmF0ZWdpY19QbGFuXzIwMTUucGRmOjo6L3d3dzYvc2No b29scy9uZC9mYXJnby9pbWFnZXMvZG9jbWdyLzM2NTBfZmlsZV8xOD AyMl9tb2RfMTQzNzY2Mzg5OC5wZGY=&sectiondetailid=1 ·· http://fargopublicschools.areavoices.com/tag/steam/ ·· http://www.todaysparent.com/kids/why-girls-need-stem/ ·· http://fargopublicschools.areavoices.com/2015/09/04/stem-school-first-forteachers-then-for-students/#sthash.JAj3xRWs.dpuf ·· http://www.todaysparent.com/family/activities/fun-science-experiments-for-kids/ ·· https://www.commonsensemedia.org/app-reviews/sids-science-fair ·· http://www.forbes.com/sites/jordanshapiro/2014/08/06/your-five-year-oldcan-learn-to-code-with-an-ipad-app/ ·· http://blog.iat.com/2014/12/29/25-stem-education-apps-you-need-in-2015/ ·· http://www.ndstem.org/?page_id=430 ·· http://gfmedc.com/living/education/stem/ ·· https://www.ndsu.edu/coe/k_12_outreach/stem_k_12_fallspring_offerings/

want to learn more about steam in north dakota?

ready, set, grow

check out http://www.ndstem.org

teens [13–18years]

f your teen is already halfway through high school and you’re worried about his/her exposure to STEAM concepts, don’t worry. In addition to schools [both public and private], there are plenty of other places to look for STEAM programs. libraries When is the last time you or your teen stepped foot into one of our awesome public libraries? These places are filled—FILLED—with STEAM concepts. From chess clubs [logic and strategy], to origami [geometry and art], to Lego design contests [ummm, every STEAM category] to mint-making [yes, you read that right… like mints…that you eat], the public libraries in our region are the perfect place to practically exercise your STEAM muscles.

north dakota stem network The ND STEM Network is a valuable resource to learn more about the efforts being made statewide to incorporate STEM principles into our schools. Your teen can read about museum exhibits that incorporate STEAM and view and sign up for upcoming STEAM events at a variety of locations, like non-profits, religious organizations, and research labs. Patricia Carlson, known as Tricia, is a freelance writer who splits her time and talent between Content Marketing and editorial journalism. Don’t ask this Medill School of Journalism grad to choose which one she loves more! She’s been writing professionally for more than a dozen years; check out LinkedIn for a roster of clients, past and present. When she’s not interviewing sources or researching trends, she’s living a fast-paced Florida life questioning the antics of her two young children, partner, and mischievous cat. You can learn more about Tricia at www. patriciacarlsonfreelance.com.

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ndsu The College of Engineering at North Dakota State University offers a host of STEAM programs for kids from kindergarten through 12th grade. Your high schooler can choose from after-school programs, one-day events, or morning sessions, depending on the time of year and her/his interest. One of the best ways to get involved is to join a team in one of the competitions like BEST [Boosting Engineering, Science, and Technology],

Robotics, or TEAMS [Tests of Engineering Aptitude, Mathematics, and Science].

february • march twenty sixteen | on the minds of moms

T he cure for a cold world is a warm heart.

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