Feb/March 2018 On the Minds of Moms by on the minds of moms

february march

twenty eighteen

the valley’s

for today’s

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HEALTHY,

here with you Essentia Health’s pediatric team is here to help keep your family happy, healthy and safe. When we see a new patient, it’s more than a visit, it’s the start of a relationship. Whether you’re scheduling a routine well-child check or something that requires a bit more attention, we’re here with you. Essentia Health-South University Clinic 1702 South University Drive | Fargo 701.364.8900 EssentiaHealth.org

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contents

in every issue food for thought . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 16 event calendar . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 18 shutterbug

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 22

oh by the way . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 34

contents

sections did you know

camps

must-have phone apps for parents . . . . . . . . 14

summer camps & activities 2018 . . . . . . . . . 28

gettin' through it

ready, set, grow

building a stronger, healthier heart: one womanâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s journey in preventing heart disease . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 24

what time is it? . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 42

contents

feature & profiles

mod mom profile kathleen bergseth . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 10

rad dad profile manix zepeda . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 30

cover story sally erickson courage to become more . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 36

contents

photo: ten little chickens photography | renee clasen

moms

on the minds of

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PUBLISHER DS Communication, LLC EDITORS Sheri Kleinsasser Stockmoe p: 701.306.1624 e: sheri@onthemindsofmoms.com Dani Parkos Fluge e: dani@onthemindsofmoms.com

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ADVERTISING Patty Nystrom p: 701.269.4180 e: patty@onthemindsofmoms.com Sheri Kleinsasser Stockmoe p: 701.306.1624 e: sheri@onthemindsofmoms.com

Park Christian School

KINDERGARTEN ROUND-UPS

A hands on event for children and their parents

Come meet our early learning experts

PHOTOGRAPHY Renee Clasen – ten little chickens photography Josette Hayes–exposures by j.linnea Scott Thuen-thuen studios DESIGN AND LAYOUT

Scott Thuen – thuen studios www.thuenstudios.com

AD DESIGN Casie Beldo Scott Thuen Tara Kessler Stephanie Drietz CONTACT mail: PO Box 190, Fargo, ND 58107 e: hello@onthemindsofmoms.com p: 701.297.2138 SUBSCRIPTION print www.onthemindsofmoms.com/subscribe digital issuu.com/onthemindsofmoms

COVER PHOTO BY Renee Clasen – ten little chickens photography

Mrs. Leedahl and Mrs. Ryding SFI-00574

Tuesdays, February 27 and March 20,

OTMOM MISSION STATEMENT On The Minds Of Moms Magazine is dedicated to providing parents of all ages a bimonthly resource they can trust. A fresh approach to traditional parenting publications, we are modern and inspiring while offering a community of local support and real-life advice for today’s family.

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On The Minds Of Moms contains views from across the parenting spectrum. These views do not necessarily reflect those of the publisher. All activities listed in these pages are at your own risk and require appropriate supervision. OTMOM is a publication available at all Fargo-Moorhead Hornbacher's, Family Fare, and Grand Forks–East Grand Forks Hornbacher's and Hugo's grocery store locations. Distribution also includes all partnering advertisers. Copyright 2018 All Rights Reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced without written permission from the publisher. On The Minds Of Moms is a trademark registered at the U.S. Patent and Trademark Office.

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athleen Bergseth grew up in Aberdeen, South Dakota, with three sisters and a brother. She made her way to Fargo and earned her B.S. in Psychology and a Ph.D. in Criminal Justice from North Dakota State University. Looking

back, it was a great move, considering Kathleen also met her husband of 17 years, Keith, while an undergrad. With three boys, Finn [8], Rory [4], and Lochlann [7 months], Kathleen, who formerly worked in management at a marketing firm and taught at NDSU, is now the self-proclaimed personal assistant, chauffeur, chef, counselor, activities and events coordinator, and primary rule enforcer for her little clan. When she isnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t snuggling her boys, Kathleen enjoys teaching sewing classes a few days a month at Modern Textiles.

photos: exposures by j.linnea | josette hayes

kathleen bergseth age 43, fargo.nd

mod mom

the movie i could watch over and over…

my husband would describe me as…

Love Actually

thoughtful and patient, someone who sometimes over commits [but always pulls it together in the end].

something i do for myself… I sew—clothes for the kids, gifts for loved ones, and things for our home.

boy moms understand… even the roughest and toughest boy has a sweet heart and a special love for his mom. And wrestling can be a great bonding activity!

something i rely on to keep my sanity… coffee, of course!

in the morning i wake by… three smiling kids. I don't even set an alarm when my husband is out of town.

i’m a valued customer at… I spend my fair share at Amazon [too convenient!] but I like to shop local when I can. Some favorites are Pout Baby & Kids, Unglued for gifts and decor, and Modern Textiles for fabric and inspiration.

Helping to

protect

what matters

most

Home • Auto • Business • Farm • Health • Life

wool, perhaps? We started out using wool pants as covers for cloth diapers and fell in love with the feel and functionality of good quality wool products. That has spread into scarves, sweaters, legwarmers, baby booties, blankets, etc.

Your Pe

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february • march twenty eighteen | on the minds of moms

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701-277-1710

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the one product i could be a spokesperson for…

mod mom the biggest personal change i’ve made since becoming a mama… we were older-than-average parents when we had Finn so we had to make a lot of adjustments from an adult-centered life. More than anything I think that parenting has made me more thoughtful of the impact of my decisions—big and small—on myself, the people that I love, and others as well.

one of the first things i want my sons to experience… small struggles and challenges when they are young to build confidence and independence. I try to welcome mistakes as learning experiences and help the boys learn to give themselves room to mess up and not be perfect.

food that puts me in a good mood… I never turn down a good cheese plate.

i want my kids to one day experience…

www.onthemindsofmoms.com

a strong bond as adults. I hope they will always be there for each other and that they will maintain strong relationships long after we are gone.

on the minds of moms | february • march twenty eighteen

in ten years i picture myself… sleeping more!

five things always in my car… lip balm, protein bar, phone, kids, and headphones.

the parenting trick i have learned from my husband is… to motivate the kids and reduce tension by calling out their progress at a task like a race announcer..."And Finn has taken the lead. He changed his shirt and put his pajamas away. Oh, but here comes Rory—he's right behind and he's already got his socks on..."

it amazes me that my boys… can turn anything into a competition, including brushing their teeth or falling asleep. My brain isn't wired that way, but it works for them!

We Sweat it Out Together

Our Partnership Sets Us Apart

did you know

must-have phone apps for parents

www.onthemindsofmoms.com

story by | kimberly blaker

arents have countless reasons to worry about their kids' safety from the time they're born right on through the teen years. Unfortunately, technology is a big culprit. Yet it can also serve to help keep kids safe. Many phone apps provide parents ways to monitor their kids' whereabouts both online and in the real world. Not to mention, there are plenty of other useful apps for families as well. But with 2.8 million apps on the market, where does a parent begin? 14

on the minds of moms | february • march twenty eighteen

The following is a selection of useful apps designed specifically for parents and families. Best of all, many of these apps are free. Screen Time Parental Control [android & iPhone/ free trial] This useful app provides parents a variety of controls to limit kids’ use of screen time. It allows parents to block apps and games at bedtime or during school hours. Parents can also push a button on their phones to time-out kids' phones when kids refuse to get off their phones as requested.

MMGuardian [android & iPhone/free] This monitoring app for pre-teens and teens allows parents to monitor and block text messages, apps, calls, and URLs. It also has configurations for limiting screen time. Cozi Family Organizer [android & iPhone/free or paid upgrade] Manage and share your family calendar between all devices to keep everyone in the loop. In addition to keeping track of schedules, it manages reminders, to-do lists, shopping lists, and recipes. Netspark Parental Control Light [android/paid subscription] Get powerful filtering with this app to protect your kids from harmful images, text, and video content. It also allows parents to set time limits for daily or weekly screen time. ToddlyTic [android & iPhone/free 30-day trial] This app is an excellent way to communicate with your child's daycare provider or teachers. It helps you stay on top of your child's attendance, grades, and more. You can also use this app to manage and make tuition payments to your child's school.

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Life360 Family Locator—GPS Tracker [android & iPhone/free] With this app you create “circles” of family members and friends. You can then view the location of any of your circle members on a map. The tracker will send you text alerts when your child arrives at or leaves a destination. ChoreMonster [android & iPhone/free] This app is a great way to gain kids' cooperation with chores. Kids can keep track of points they earn for completing tasks, which they use to pay for rewards such as video-game time, a special treat, or a family outing. Baby Monitor 3G [android & iPhone/$3.99] Monitor your baby with both video and audio and receive alerts when your baby awakens. You can see your baby even in the dark. It also tracks how often your baby wakes up and allows for replay of sounds. You can also press a button on your phone and talk to your baby. www.onthemindsofmoms.com

Wheel of Chores [android & iPhone/free] A great way to put some fun in chores: kids spin the wheel each day for a task to do and earn points based on the reward set. At the end of the week parents reward their kids with the amount of money they made, or kids can bank it. Kimberly Blaker is a parenting and lifestyle freelance writer. She also writes a blog, The Young Gma's Guide to Parenting at www.theyounggma.com.

february • march twenty eighteen | on the minds of moms

food for thought

chicken paisanos shared byâ&#x20AC;&#x201A;|â&#x20AC;&#x201A;kari klingsporn hitterdal

hicken Paisanos is my rendition of a popular menu item we used to order at a longclosed restaurant. I have no idea if what I make resembles the original recipe, but my family loves our version, nonetheless! This is really an un-recipe. Any of the ingredients you put in this dish can be increased or decreased according to your taste. The amounts I have listed are simply guidelines for all you rule-followers out there. For the rebels in the house: go crazy, trust your taste buds, and be creative! Regardless of whether or not you follow the recipe, this dish will turn out wonderfully every time and is super easy. And, if you have time, risotto is really yummy served alongside this dish, as it catches all the lovely sauce, but it is absolutely not necessary.

photo: thuen studiosâ&#x20AC;&#x201A; | scott thuen

you need: 2 1/2–3 1/2 lbs. cut up chicken, or an assortment of your favorite chicken parts 4–6 Italian sausage links, mild or spicy, per your preference 2–3 lbs. baby red or yellow potatoes--if larger, cut down to 1-1 1/2 inch chunks 2 medium-sized white or yellow onions, quartered 1 head of garlic, peeled, cloves left whole 2 red bell peppers, cut into 2-inch slices 1 orange bell pepper, cut into 2-inch slices 2 Anaheim peppers, thickly sliced 2 jalapeño peppers, sliced 1/3 cup chicken stock 1/3 cup vinegar OR white wine vinegar OR white wine Salt and pepper to taste Crushed red pepper flakes to taste [optional] 1 package Italian Dressing, such as Good Seasons brand, unprepared Freshly shredded parmesan cheese for serving

how to: Preheat oven to 375°. OPTIONAL STEP: In a large pan, heat 1 tablespoon olive oil over medium heat and lightly brown chicken, turning once while browning. In a glass 9x13-inch pan, arrange chicken, sausages, potatoes, onions, garlic, and all 4 types of peppers. You may want to put this into a large roaster or split the ingredients amongst two 9x13 pans if you veer toward the larger amounts suggested in the recipe. Pour the chicken stock and vinegar over the top of all the ingredients. Next sprinkle the salt and pepper to taste, crushed red pepper flakes [if using], and the entire package of Italian Dressing evenly over the top of all the ingredients. Bake, uncovered, until the meat temperature reaches 165° and the potatoes are done. Begin checking the temperature after 45 minutes; it may need up to 90 minutes, depending on whether or not you browned the chicken first and how crowded the food is in the pan. Serve with shredded parmesan and be sure to spoon some of the lovely sauce from the pan over your food. Delicious!

feeding your family TIP: Are you running in the door at 6:45 p.m. and freaking out because you have nothing planned for dinner? Quick! Turn on the oven to 425°! I have an idea for you! When I am in panic mode and do not want to serve--or eat--another frozen pizza, I have a secret weapon: a baguette! I keep a few wrapped in plastic in the freezer for desperate times. They thaw in a hurry--throw it in the oven while it is preheating until it is softened up enough to slice it in half. Then let your imagination take over! Dig through your pantry or refrigerator to find things to outfit your baguette. Bake your baguette at 425° for 8 minutes. Either put the toppings on and serve or dress the baguette as you wish and throw it back in until the cheese is melted and the ingredients are warmed through. Make an easy salad or serve fruit as a side. Here a few quick combinations toppers: • • • • • • •

Roast beef+cream cheese+thinly sliced red onion Avocado+bacon Fig jam+goat cheese+walnuts Hummus+olives Thinly sliced apples and Brie Ricotta cheese and roasted red peppers from a jar Cream cheese combined with a little chipotle pepper in adobo sauce topped with deli turkey • Easy bruschetta: chop a large tomato, place in a small bowl and add a splash of olive oil, maybe a splash of white wine

vinegar, salt and pepper. You can stop here if you want. If you are lucky enough to have basil, spinach, mozzarella, or parmesan cheese on hand, add some! • Ranch chicken: shredded chicken, turkey or ham, a dollop of ranch dressing, a slice of tomato. • Mediterranean Tuna: canned tuna, a little chopped onion, and roughly chopped olives, seasoned with a splash of olive oil and red wine vinegar. Add any fresh herbs you need to use up. • Pizza: pizza sauce, mushrooms, pepperoni, mozzarella or parmesan cheese.

Keep it yummy, keep it easy, and keep it interesting! Kari's passion for food, family, and fun has been with her since her upbringing on her beloved Big Floyd Lake near Detroit Lakes, MN. She earned Secondary Education degrees in both Social Studies and English from Concordia College in Moorhead, MN. She enjoyed a brief stint as a caterer and cooking instructor, but has proudly spent most of her motherhood as a stay-at-home mom. Her husband, Brent, and three children, Gunnar, Ava, and Ella, have all [mostly] been eager taste testers to whatever is on the table for dinner. However, these days, having three growing kids is providing new challenges of feeding everyone homemade and healthy meals, as well as giving her oven an intense workout most weeknights!

32nd Av S], 1:30pm-2:30pm, to experience a Childbirth Educator provide education on properly balanced nutrition [including key vitamins and minerals] to support a healthy pregnancy, the importance of sleep, foods to substances to avoid during pregnancy, guidelines surrounding proper weight gain trimester by trimester, as well as how to transition to a postpartum diet to support maternal recovery and breastfeeding. Register online.

february events

One Enchanted Evening Tickets on Sale 218.299.5340 www.moorheadparks.com

1, 6, 8, 13, 15, 20, 22 & 27

Safety Shoppe Car Seat Check www.sanfordhealth.org/ classes-and-events Statistically four out of five car seats are installed incorrectly. Are you sure yours is right? Don’t take a chance. Head to The Safety Shoppe [601 39th St N, Fargo] Tuesdays 10:45am-7:15pm or Thursdays 1:15pm-5pm. Events are free and open to the public. Space is limited and appointments are required. Please note that it will take a minimum of 30 minutes per car seat per car.

Prenatal Nutrition www.sanfordhealth.org/ classes-and-events

Back by popular demand, this February 24th evening for youth ages 4-12 and their families at Hjemkomst Center [202 1st Av N, Moorhead] features a grand march, dancing, refreshments, photos, and memories to last a lifetime. Semi-formal dress is encouraged. All are invited to attend the grand march; however, only ticketed couples will be allowed to stay afterwards for the dance. Tickets are $12 per person, and will be available for purchase beginning February 5th by calling the Moorhead Parks and Recreation office at 218.299.5340, or by visiting moorheadparks. com. A limited number of tickets will be available, so be sure to purchase yours early! The registration deadline is February 15.

Head to Sanford Southpointe Clinic [2400

5 & 12

S’mores & More on Ice www.fargoparks.com Come join us at S’mores & More on Ice for a night out with the family, 5pm-7pm at Kennedy Park [4501 42nd St S, Fargo] on the 5th and Bennet Park [1900 58th Av S, Fargo] on the 12th. Enjoy s’more supplies to cook your own, hot chocolate and music playing. The rink and warming house will be available to use during the event. Don't forget to bring your ice skates so you can skate to the music on the outdoor rink.

CCRI Polar Plunge www.creativecare.org The CCRI Polar Plunge is an event for the whole family! Plungers with a little courage, a warm heart, and a desire to support a worthy cause will be taking the icy dip to support people with disabilities. Head to CCRI [2903 15th St S, Moorhead], 4pm-6:30pm for horse-drawn carriage rides [free], campfires, and hot chocolate, in addition to the plunge entertainment. Admission is free!

8 & 24

LEGO Club 701.241.1495 www.fargolibary.org

provided to build, but make sure to bring your imagination!

Piece of Cake 701.551.6100 www.plainsart.org Ages 4-101 head to the Plains Art Museum [701 1st Av N, Fargo], 6pm-8pm and design a dreamy dessert in the form of a triangular slice of cake. Each cake slice will open, so you can store your treasures or even your favorite sweets inside. Decorate your cake with frosting, flowers, or your favorite superhero—anything that tempts your taste! Space is limited. Each family member must register for a spot. $15 members, $19 non-members. Register online.

9-11, 16-18 & 23-25

Kids Dream Family Film Series www.marcustheatres.com Grab the family and head to West Acres Cinema [4101 17th Av SW, Fargo] at 10am to view your favorite family flicks for just $3.00 [$2.75 Popcorns & Fountain Drinks too]! The Nut Job 2: Nutty by Nature, Captain Underpants: The First Epic Movie, & My Little Pony set to play!

All ages and abilities are welcome to come to the Moorhead Library [118 5th St S, Moorhead], 6pm-8pm on the 8th & 2pm-4pm on the 24th, and make their own Lego creation at our Lego Club. Supplies

Healthy Cooking: Valentine’s Day Chocolate Lasagna 701.234.2400 www.familywellnessfargo.org Come to Family Wellness [2960 Seter Parkway], 10am-11am learn how to make

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on the minds of moms | february • march twenty eighteen

701. 5 3 0 . 8 4 5 0 O R 1. 8 8 8 . 4 3 0 . 3 2 2 3

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an extra-special dessert to show your loved ones how much you care! $12 Members, $20 Non-members. Ages 5+, ages 5-7 must be accompanied by adult. Please register at least 48 hours in advance.

Hearts & Smiles 701.232.6102 www.childrensmuseum-yunker.org Join the Tooth Fairy at The Children's Museum at Yunker Farm [1201 28th Av N, Fargo], 10am-5pm, for a whole lot of fun with toothbrushes and your Valentine. Members free, Non-Members $5.

12 & 19

Heartsaver CPR/AED 701.364.1711 www.sanfordhealthemseducation.org The Heartsaver AED course, held at the F-M Ambulance Service [2215 18th St S, Fargo], 7pm-10pm, covers basic adult, child, and infant CPR, plus how to use an AED [Automated External Defibrillator]. Not intended for healthcare professionals. The staff of EMTs and nurses deal with life and death every day and bring their real-life situations to the classroom. $42 fee. The AHA certification is good for 2 years. Parent or legal guardian required to attend class with those under the age of 16. There will be no additional charge unless the parent/legal guardian wishes to receive a CPR Certificate along with the child. All payments for class are non-refundable and non-transferable. Register online.

Pint-Size Explorers Follow the Pack 701.277.9240 www.redriverzoo.org Happy New Year! 2018 is the year of the dog! Head to the Red River Zoo [4255 23rd Av S, Fargo] and celebrate with their relatives at the zoo, the Gray Wolves. Let’s learn how they interact as a pack, how they hunt, and how they are similar to our pet dogs at home. We will be making a glow-inthe-dark wolf-themed craft to celebrate the year of the dog wherever you go! Choose from a 10am-11:30am or 3pm-4:30pm session. Program fee: $15/members, $20/ non-members. Register online.

15-16 & 19

No School Kidz Zone 701.237.4805 www.cortsplus.org No School?! Head to Courts Plus [3491 S University Dr, Fargo], 8:45am-11:15am, for some fun activities including art projects, games, sports, and outdoor activities [weather permitting]. You can work out or run some errands while your kiddos stay busy! Open to members & non-members.

16-17 & 19

Spring Break Day Camp 701.237.4805 www.cortsplus.org Schools out! Head to Courts Plus [3491 S University Dr, Fargo], 1pm-4pm, for a

few fantastic days filled with entertainment and exercise. Activities include sports, games, movies, outdoor activities [weather permitting], art projects, and time on the indoor playground. Remember to bring your outdoor gear for some exciting outdoor games. Open to members & non-members.

february events

Babysitter Training 701.234.2400 www.familywellnessfargo.org This eight-hour American Red Cross Babysitting Course at Family Wellness [2960 Seter Parkway], 8:30am-5pm, is a hands-on way to learn everything you need to know about babysitting. Start your babysitting business on the right foot and learn how to be a safe, professional, and reliable sitter. Included in the course is American Red Cross First Aid and CPR Certification that is valid for two years. This course will teach you to be safe on the job, how to recognize an emergency, and how to handle it as well. $65 Members/$95 Non-members. Register online.

Kids’ Night Out [Parents’ Night Off] 701.237.4805 www.cortsplus.org Drop off your kiddos [ages 2 years old – 6th grade] at Courts Plus [3491 S University Dr, Fargo], 5pm-8:30pm for a fun night of superhero-themed games & crafts, pizza,

and a movie! Fitness Plus Members $10 for 1st child [$5/additional child], Fitness Members $12 per child, Non-members $21 per child. Don’t forget to reserve your spot by registering online!

Youth Ice-Fishing Derby www.fargoparks.com Bring your ice-fishing rod and try your luck at the annual Youth Ice-Fishing Derby, 1:30pm-3:30pm at the South Woodhaven Pond [4802 Woodhaven Dr S, Fargo], which is stocked with perch, bluegill, and northern pike. Holes will be pre-drilled for participants. This is a catch-and-release event for ages 15 and under. There is no entry fee and there will be free hot cocoa and t-shirts while supplies last.

college for

KIDS & TEENS www.onthemindsofmoms.com

June 11-14 | June 18-21 | July 16-19 | July 23-26

Registration opens February 13th! *Register for 3 classes and the 4th one is free! Learn more at mnstate.edu/collegeforkids Minnesota State University Moorhead is an equal opportunity educator and employer.

february • march twenty eighteen | on the minds of moms

$3.00 [$2.75 Popcorns & Fountain Drinks too]! The Boss Baby, The Emoji Movie, & The LEGO Ninjago Movie set to play!

5-9 & 12

march events

FPS Kindergarten Registration 701.446.1043 www.fargo.k12.nd.us/registration

1, 6, 8, 13, 15, 20, 22, 27 & 29

2-4, 9-11 & 16-18

Kids Dream Family Film Series www.marcustheatres.com Grab the family and head to West Acres Cinema [4101 17th Av SW, Fargo] at 10am to view your favorite family flicks for just

PATH

Calling all Kindergarteners for the 20182019 school year! Registration for Fall 2018 opens online February 1, 2018. Complete registration at home online any time or at computer kiosks in the office at each Fargo Public elementary school building on the following dates and times: 7:30am-4pm on the 5th, 7th & 9th or 7:30am-6pm on the 6th, 8th & 12th. Families MUST bring their child’s certified birth certificate, child’s current immunization record, and a document [i.e., current city utility bill or bank statement] that includes parent/guardian name and address to verify the correct neighborhood school. If you are unsure of your school boundaries, please call 701.446.1043.

Camp Carnival 701.234.2400 www.familywellnessfargo.org Camp Carnival at the Family Wellness Center [2960 Seter Parkway, Fargo], 5pm-7pm, is a fun, free, family event where you get to sample activities from our upcoming youth summer camps! Participants will get the opportunity to dip their toes into a little bit of each camp theme from sports to art, and even the wild wilderness. Come on by to see the sights,

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changing one life

CHANGES EVERYTHING

Families Making the Difference 877-766-7284 • www.pathinc.org

8 & 24

LEGO Club 701.241.1495 www.fargolibary.org All ages and abilities are welcome to come to the Moorhead Library [118 5th St S, Moorhead], 6pm-8pm on the 8th & 2pm-4pm on the 24th, and make their own Lego creation at our Lego Club. Supplies provided to build, but make sure to bring your imagination!

Celtic Festival www.fargoparks.com This festival features entertainment stages, several presentations about folk traditions of the past & present, activity booths, & Celtic foods at the Hjemkomst Center [202 1st Av N, Moorhead] 10am-4pm.

Clay Pet Portrait 701.551.6100 www.plainsart.org Ages 6-18 head to the Plains Art Museum [701 1st Av N, Fargo], 4pm-5:30pm and create a clay portrait of your pet! Bring a

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picture of your pet, a past pet, or dream pet to use as inspiration for your clay creation. $19 members, $24 non-members. Register online.

Teen Ceramics 701.551.6100 www.plainsart.org For ages 12-18, whether you are a beginner or have worked with clay previously, advance your skills in the medium of ceramics at the Plains Art Museum [701 1st Av N, Fargo], Mondays 6:30pm-8:30pm [March 12th-April 16th]. Build and refine your throwing and hand-building skills, learn new forms and techniques, and participate in constructive, collaborative evaluation of your work as a group. Basic glazing, staining, and slipping techniques will also be introduced. Class includes 25 pounds of clay, glaze materials, and firing. Tools and additional clay are available for purchase. $96 members, $120 nonmembers. Register online.

Butterfly Ball Ticket Sales 701.499.7788 www.fargoparks.com The very popular semi-formal Father/ Daughter Dance is back! Tickets go on sale starting at 8am ONLINE ONLY [https://tickets. completeticketsolutions.com/FPD/Online/]. Young ladies age 4-12 can create memories with dad, step-dad, uncle, grandfather, or other male role model at a magical evening

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explore with hands-on activities, and let your taste buds explode with carnival treats. Activities include: large bounce houses, family dance, obstacle courses, and much more. Summer camp registration will be available at a discounted, early-bird price. All ages welcome. Register at the front desk. Free for members and non-members.

on the minds of moms | february • march twenty eighteen

PATH

IDAHO A

FAMILY MEMBER

of music, dancing, photo opportunities, and more. Light snacks, dessert, and punch will be served. Butterfly Ball dance dates are April 13th & 14th, held at Avalon Event Center [2525 9th Av S, Fargo]. Dance will start 6:30pm and goes until 9:30pm.

Pint Size Explorers the Scoop on Poop 701.277.9240 www.redriverzoo.org Eww! Poop? Pint Size Explorers [ages 4-6 years old] head to the Red River Zoo [4255 23rd Av S, Fargo] and learn about why it’s important, how zookeepers can learn from it to take care of their animals, and how the zoo cleans up after the animals. After all, they don’t use toilets! With activities, tours, and examples this day will be filled with surprises. We will be creating our own special slime to commemorate our manure-filled day. Choose from a 10am-11:30am or 3pm-4:30pm session. Program fee: $15/members, $20/ non-members. Register online.

Safe & Sound www.sanfordhealth.org/ classes-and-events This class at Sanford [1711 Office Building Room 1-1, 1711 S University Dr, Fargo], 6:30pm-8pm, will inform participants about the best practices in safe sleep and nursery safety, as well as provide general baby-proofing tips. You won't want to miss out on this valuable information.

Plant Pots 701.551.6100 www.plainsart.org Ages 4-101 head to the Plains Art Museum [701 1st Av N, Fargo], 6pm-8pm and create a colorful pot to hold the next addition to your garden – indoors or out. Building from coils, create one plant pot and attach a base for holding water. Then, paint your new planter with colorful glazes. Space is limited. Each family member must register for a spot. $15 members, $19 non-members. Register online.

St. Patty’s Day Parade www.fmstpats.com Everyone is Irish today! Celebrate St. Patrick’s Day with a downtown Fargo parade.

Parents Night Out 701.234.2400 www.familywellnessfargo.org Need a night out? Drop your children [ages 2 weeks–9 years] off at Family Wellness [2960 Seter Parkway, Fargo], 5:45pm-8:45pm, for a date night or just a night to yourself! Pre-registration required; space is limited. Sign up by noon the Friday prior to the event. $12 Members/$18 Nonmembers

24 & 25

Bouncin’ Bash & More www.wfparks.org Ready, set, JUMP! This action-packed

weekend at Rustad Recreation Center [601 26th Av E, West Fargo] provides kids of all ages with hours of fun on inflatable games, obstacle courses, and more!

march events

29 & 30

No School Day Camp 701.237.4805 www.cortsplus.org Schools out! Head to Courts Plus [3491 S University Dr, Fargo], 1pm-4pm, for a few fantastic days filled with entertainment and exercise. Activities include sports, games, movies, outdoor activities [weather permitting], art projects, and time on the

indoor playground. Remember to bring your outdoor gear for some exciting outdoor games. Open to members & non-members.

30 & 31

Easter Eggstravaganza www.childrensmuseum-yunker.org Meet the Easter Bunny! Easter egg hunts and other great family activities at the Children’s Museum at Yunker Farm [1201 28th Av N, Fargo].

All event listings displayed within OTMOM are carefully selected to provide diverse options for families. More events found online at www.onthemindsofmoms.com/event-calendar. It is always a good idea to call ahead to confirm the information provided. Although it is not possible to list every event happening in the FM area, we encourage organizations to submit events for consideration to events@onthemindsofmoms.com

Registration for Fall 2018 opens online February 1, 2018 at www.fargo.k12.nd.us/registration Registration is a two-step process: online registration and document submission. STEP ONE: Complete registration at home online anytime or at computer kiosks in the office at each Fargo Public elementary school building on the following dates and times: March 5, 7, 9 from 7:30 a.m. to 4:00 p.m. or March 6, 8, 12 from 7:30 a.m. to 6:00 p.m. www.onthemindsofmoms.com

STEP TWO: Families MUST bring their child’s certified birth certificate, child’s current immunization record, and a document (i.e. current city utility bill or bank statement) that includes parent/guardian name and address to verify the correct neighborhood school. Child must be age 5 by July 31, 2018 to attend school in the fall. If do not know which school your child will attend, call 701.446.1043 or check online at www.fargo.k12.nd.us/boundarymaps.

february • march twenty eighteen | on the minds of moms

exposures by j.linnea

shutterbug

exposures by j.linnea

ten little chickens photography

exposures by j.linnea

ten little chickens photography

gettin’ through it

building a stronger, healthier heart

www.onthemindsofmoms.com

one woman’s journey in preventing heart disease

story by | jenny rackl

t was Mother’s Day and Shellie Ulven was ready for a great day with her family. She was starting to feel better after a drawn-out seasonal cold. As she prepared for the day, she experienced double vision after coughing and blowing her nose. She was young, healthy, and felt absolutely fine. But suddenly Shellie started seeing double. Confused by what could have brought this seemingly 24

on the minds of moms | february • march twenty eighteen

random symptom on, Shellie decided to wait and see if her vision would return to normal. But when the double vision hadn’t completely cleared by the following day, Shellie went to Sanford Urgent Care Clinic. After describing her symptom, the Sanford provider knew immediately that something was not right. Shellie’s double vision had been the result of a small stroke in her brain stem.

gettin’ through it Shellie was fortunate enough not to experience any long-term residual effects from her mild brain-stem stroke, but that didn’t satisfy her or her care team at Sanford Health. The team wanted to know why Shellie had the stroke in the first place. “Because I’m 46 and healthy, having a stroke didn’t make sense to the medical team,” Shellie explains. “So over the course of the summer I had tests and scans from the tips of my toes to the top of my head to figure out why I had that small stroke.” Measuring only a half-inch in diameter, the brain stem, where Shellie’s stroke occurred, controls all basic activities of the central nervous system, including breathing and motor control. A brain-stem stroke can present with complex symptoms ranging from double vision to vertigo, which are not always present in strokes occurring in other parts of the brain. The most common types of symptoms associated with strokes are facial drooping, arm weakness, and slurred speech. By the middle of the summer all the testing and scanning finally revealed an answer for Shellie’s mystery – she had a small hole in her heart, which she had been born with.

“To be a mom and to tell your children that you need to have open-heart surgery, that was probably the worst,” says Shellie. My kids are amazing, they asked great questions, were sad, scared, just like my husband, Jon, and I. We shared that my surgeon thinks this is going to make my heart even better. They were courageous through it all.”

If something doesn’t feel right—go ask the question.

After the open-heart procedure successfully repaired the hole in her heart, Shellie committed herself to working with Sanford Heart’s Cardiac Rehabilitation team. Exercise physiologists and nurses then worked

“I didn’t show any signs that I had a hole in my heart,” Shellie says. “And apparently my heart sounded really good when you listened to it.” According to the American Heart Association more than 1.3 million Americans alive today have some form of congenital heart defect. Roxanne Newman, MD, a cardiovascular and thoracic surgeon at Sanford Fargo Medical Center, recommended that Shellie have the hole in her heart closed before it could contribute to or cause any future health problems. But closing the hole meant that Shellie needed open-heart surgery – a complex operation even for someone with an otherwise healthy heart.

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“That was not what I was planning on,” Shellie says. “That’s when it got scary. Nobody should be doing that in their 40s, but I knew it was the right thing to do.” Although the surgery recommendation was unexpected, as a mother of two young children, Shellie wanted to invest in preventing future heart disease and any further strokes. Dr. Newman assured her that the surgery would be rewarding, providing a more secure foundation for her heart health into the future.

february • march twenty eighteen | on the minds of moms

gettin’ through it together to develop a customized cardiac rehabilitation program for Shellie.

February is Heart Month Sanford Health wants to help you keep your heart healthy and strong. Know the risk factors of heart disease. • Heavy alcohol use • Diabetes • Poor diet and nutrition • High blood cholesterol • High blood pressure • Obesity • Physical inactivity • Smoking • Stress

“It was a gift to be hooked up to a heart monitor and to walk on a treadmill and know that my heart was pumping fine.” Shellie says. “It was so reassuring. You just know your heart is doing what it’s meant to do.” After a procedure like open-heart surgery, cardiac rehabilitation is important for many reasons. With support and encouragement from rehab staff, patients learn how to be more active and make changes that can lead to a stronger heart. “The heart is a muscle, and just like any other muscle it needs exercise to get stronger and work more efficiently,” Sierra Lien, an exercise physiologist at Sanford Cardiac Rehab, explains. “This allows patients to return to the activities they love and will help prevent future heart events.” In addition to exercise, cardiac rehab focuses on educating patients about healthy lifestyle changes. The education focuses on all aspects of a healthy lifestyle – stress, diet and exercise, as well as other risk-factor modifications. “They’re so motivating and patient with you, yet they push you,” Shellie explains. “I don’t think that I could have tested these waters on my own, of taking on exercises and weights. They build a confidence in you to know that you’re okay.”

www.onthemindsofmoms.com

Rehab helped Shellie understand what she could and couldn’t do during recovery. She followed an exercise

on the minds of moms | february • march twenty eighteen

gettin’ through it program designed to help rebuild her strength, allowing her to return to an active life style of exercising, golfing, gardening, and playing with her family. “She always had a great attitude and a willingness to try new things,” Sierra says. “She was constantly working toward achieving her personal goals of returning to yoga and starting a strength-training program.” The cardiac rehab team emphasizes that exercise is important at any age. For women specifically, maintaining weight-bearing exercises after menopause is key. “Now I’m back to the person I was before and probably stronger,” Shellie says. “I have the strength and the energy back—and I have the confidence to know that my heart is okay.” As Shellie approaches her graduation from cardiac rehab, she emphasizes that women, and especially mothers, should keep a preventive mindset to be aware of warning signs and diligent about addressing them. Because she herself was more willing to investigate problems with her children’s health rather than her own, Shellie wants to encourage others to take charge and advocate for their own well-being. Investigating her double vision may have ultimately saved Shellie’s life. “I want to be healthy for myself and my family, and preventing heart disease is one way,” Shellie says. “Women need the courage to ask questions for themselves too. If something doesn’t feel right—go ask the question.”

www.onthemindsofmoms.com

february • march twenty eighteen | on the minds of moms

camps

school’s out…what to do summer camps & activities 2018

FAITH

www.onthemindsofmoms.com

Camp Good News Tired of kids at home during the summer with nothing to do? Camp Good News, an affordable Christian day camp for ages 6-12 in the Fargo-Moorhead area, has got plenty for your kids to do. Whether it is crafts, sports, robotics, gymnastics, or brand new detectives camp and more, Camp Good News would love to keep your children busy, all while teaching them Biblical principles and character traits. Each full day from 9am-4pm or half day 9am-1pm is jam-packed with fun, as well as a great opportunity to learn about the weekly activity. Camp Good News, sponsored by Child Evangelism Fellowship of Fargo-Moorhead, is hosted at local church near you. To check out our full schedule, get more info about camp, and to register, visit www.ceffm.org/camp or call 701.200.4865. FaHoCha Bible Camp This independent camp nestled beside South Lake Washington, 25 miles East of New Rockford, ND, offers a unique camping experience combining a fun filled family like atmosphere with life skill training, Bible study, and lots of activities including tubing and “The Blob”. All this from an encouraging, caring and loving staff! Some of their other great features include home cooked food, individual attention, affordability, and a focus on faith. For more information, please call 701.674.3211 or 701.351.4835. You can also visit www.fahocha.org or www.facebook.com/ Fahocha-Bible-Camp-115197148504702/.

on the minds of moms | february • march twenty eighteen

Inspiration Point Christian Camp + Retreat Center Located on Spitzer Lake, 90 minutes southeast of Fargo/Moorhead, Inspiration Point is a highly respected Christian camp and retreat center set in the lakes country of Minnesota. From our chef-prepared food service to our clean facilities, from the breathtaking setting on Spitzer Lake to the laughter that fills this place, it is all designed to provide time and space for people of all ages to experience and grow in the good gifts of God. Register online at www.ipoint.org or call 218.998.4572 for more information. Registrations paid in full by April 2 receive $30 early registration discount. Registrations paid in full by May 1 receive a $20 early registration discount. Camp Cherith Established in 1947 and residing on 280 stunning acres of lakes, woodlands, and rolling hills [32884 Camp Cherith Road, Frazee, MN], campers spend time outdoors, surrounded by the splendor of God’s creation. Camp Cherith is an interdenominational Christian camp with a two-fold aim: to introduce campers to a saving knowledge of Jesus Christ and to help them apply Christian principles to daily living. Just as Jesus looked at individuals and reached out to them Cherith staff seek to reach out to each camper and to provide them with an unforgettable Christ-centered experience. Campers participate in many activities from horseback riding to archery, sailing to waterskiing, and fishing to swimming in a place where love and concern are not just talked about but lived. Camps held June 18-August 4; $365/week. For more info contact Gerri [registrar@camp-cherith.com or 612.991.3124] or visit www. camp-cherith.com and register online.

camps DANCE Fairydell Day Camp This day camp at Red River Dance [2921 Fiechtner Dr S, Fargo] is for children who love fairytales and dancing! Each day dancers will read a story, enjoy a snack, make an art project, participate in creative movement, and learn a dance that fits to the theme of the day. Family and friends are invited to watch a mini Fairydell Performance held the last day of camp. Sessions run: June 12-14, 9am-12pm [ages 3-5] & 12:30pm-3:30pm [ages 5-7]; July 10-12, 9am-12pm [ages 3-5] & 12:30pm-3:30pm [ages 5-7]; August 14-16, 9am-12pm [ages 3-5] & 12:30pm-3:30pm [ages 5-7]. Cost is $100 per dancer. For more information contact Haylee Thompson [haylee@redriverdance. com or 701.280.0004] or visit www.redriverdance.com and register online. Momentum Dance Convention Founded in 2013, this event was created to bring top dance choreographers and instructors to the Fargo-Moorhead area from around the region. The day is jam packed with exciting dance classes for mini/junior, teen, and senior level dancers. Classes range from Ballet, Tap, Musical Theatre, Jazz, Contemporary, and more! Held July 21, 9am-6pm, at the beautiful Trollwood Performing Arts School, the convention is sponsored by Gate City Bank, Trollwood Performing Arts School, and Red River Dance & Performing Company. Register online at www.momentumdanceconvention.com. Dance Intensives Our dance intensives are designed to challenge dancers in an array of genres of dance. Styles include Ballet, Jazz, Tap, Lyrical, Hip Hop, & more! We offer dance intensives for beginner, intermediate, and advanced level dancers at Red River Dance [2921 Fiechtner Dr S, Fargo], August 7-9, 9am-2:30pm. Cost is $175 per dancer. For more information contact Haylee Thompson [haylee@redriverdance.com or 701.280.0004] or visit www.redriverdance.com and register online.

SPORT American Gold Gymnastics Offering classes for kids ages 18 months to 18 years. Classes develop physical awareness, work on coordination, balance, listening skills, fine and gross motor

1st visit

recommended

year

of age!

skills, and incorporate lots of fun! For more info visit www. americangoldgymnastics.com or call 701.280.0400. MSUM Dragons Swim & Dive Camp Located on the beautiful MSUM Campus in Moorhead, MN and in the state of the art Hulbert Aquatic Center in West Fargo these camps are open to competitive swimmers and divers ages 8 - High School Seniors. Swim Camp Week One: June 10-15; Swim Camp Week Two: June 17-22; Dive Camp Week One: July 29-August 3; Dive Camp Week Two: August 5-10. For more info contact 218.477.2313 or email msumswim@mnstate.edu, you can also visit http:// www.msumdragons.com/swim.

SELF Farmers Union Camp It’s like no other camp on earth, where city kids and farm kids have a blast just being themselves! Activities include water games, theme nights, sports, a campfire, talent show, games, skits, educational camp project, co-op store, and banquet. Camps are held at Wesley Acres [near Valley City] and Heart Butte [near Elgin] in June, July and August. Cost is $100 for four-day, three-night camps for grades 3-6; and $150 for five-day, four-night camps for grades 7-12. [These are Early Bird rates and camps fill up fast, so REGISTER NOW at ndfu. org!] Transportation provided. Scholarships often available. For more info, go to ndfu.org/youth/youth-camps, look up North Dakota Farmers Union Youth Program on Facebook or call 800.366.8331. YMCA Camp KODA Activities and Exploration Camp for youth ages 6-11, which includes field trips, science experiments, arts and crafts, swimming, horseback riding and more! Offered at two locations: Fercho YMCA [400 1st Av S, Fargo] and Schlossman YMCA [243 19th Av S, Fargo] with weekly sessions run June 4 - August 17. $175 for YMCA Cass Clay members, $215 for non-members. Registration stays open until the week of camp [unless it fills]. For more information, contact Luke Hommerding [701.364.4116 or luke.hommerding@ymcacassclay.org] or visit ymcacassclay.org/koda.

Comprehensive dental care for infants, children, and adolescents.

Dr. Chad Hoge, Diplomate,

American Board of Pediatric Dentistry

FARGO OFFICE

701-478-5439

4265 45th St S, Ste 202

Dr. Mikala Hoge,

GRAND FORKS OFFICE

American Board of Pediatric Dentistry

3990 S Columbia Rd

Diplomate,

www.onthemindsofmoms.com

Dakota Pediatric Dentistry, P.C. w w w. d a k o t a p e d i a t r i c d e n t i s t r y . c o m

701-746-1400

february • march twenty eighteen | on the minds of moms

he current Brooks Harbor Elementary principal in West Fargo, Manix Zepeda, was born in Masaya, Nicaragua, and moved to Miami, Florida, when he was seven years old. Manix made his way north, first attending college at

Valley City State University and graduating with a degree in Elementary Education. He then completed his Master’s in Educational Administration at North Dakota State University. With wife Jodi of 21 years, Manix enjoys watching sports, especially if it involves one of his three kiddos, Tanner [17], Caden [14], and Kiara [11]. By far the best part of the many hours spent coaching his kids’ sports teams has been friendships formed with the parents of his kids’ teammates.

photos: ten little chickens photography | renee clasen

manix zepeda age 43, west fargo.nd

our family motto… Live, Laugh, Love, Family.

the last time i did laundry… this is terrible to say: it has been a long time [insert great wife and kids here].

one life lesson i hope to instill in my students… to try your best and learn from each and every situation, whether it went well or not.

rad dad

if a date night is on the schedule my wife and i… we go out to a movie and dinner.

something i never expected when i became a dad… I grew up without one, as I was raised by a single mom, so each moment has been a teaching/learning moment for me. I hope that my boys turn out better than me as a father and improve…Zepeda 2.0!

my favorite movie… I love movies and have too many of them that I have enjoyed, but “Rudy” comes to mind each time.

my family would best describe me as… hardworking, fun, caring, and tough on us.

my coolest dad moment… without a doubt, the birth of my kids…the anticipation of meeting them was exciting to me and there was an adventure with each of them.

Abs not

bouncing back?? www.onthemindsofmoms.com

It could be Diastasis Recti Dysfunction & we can help!

701.364.APEX (2739) www.apexptwe ll ness.com 1420 9th St. E. Suite 401, West Fargo

february • march twenty eighteen | on the minds of moms

rad dad the most spontaneous thing i’ve ever done…

growing up i always knew…

moved to North Dakota from Miami, Florida…so many people ask me why. North Dakota is a great place to raise a family.

as silly as it seems, I wanted the American Dream, to have a home and family.

my favorite gas station goodie grab…

my mother, she was my rock!

growing up the smartest person i knew was…

coffee and cookies.

i hope my kids know i…

people might be surprised that i…

love them and will be there for them through thick and thin.

am a principal, as I like to have fun when outside of the workplace.

someday i want my wife to experience…

www.onthemindsofmoms.com

a honeymoon. We were young when married and did not go to a “real” honeymoon, so I owe her big time!

on the minds of moms | february • march twenty eighteen

we are

ONLINE, DIGITAL & SOCIAL

in moms purses B U T M O S T I M P O R TA N T LY

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with the most read magazine for parents in the red river valley EMAIL US FOR INFORMATION AT

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february • march twenty eighteen | on the minds of moms

oh by the way

co nfu ciu ss ay s

story by | deb uglem

www.onthemindsofmoms.com

y 2018 planner arrived. I always wait until the rush of the holidays is over before I really dive into the planning and goal setting. It has become quite a luxury for me. I guess I am old school, as I haven’t moved to an electronic calendar, but when I page through a fresh new planner it offers such hope for an exciting and ready-to-be-written year. I love turning the crisp pages and neatly filling in appointments, birthdays, and kids’ and hubby’s schedules. Yes, they don’t need reminding anymore, but it’s the mom in me. I just can’t stop. This year was no different. I had finally caught up on my sleep and the house had recovered from the lack of attention I had given it over the past two months. So I sat down with my new set of fine-tip drawing pens, in ten different colors, [another first-of-the-year luxury for me], and started filling in the fun stuff--family birthdays, weddings, and trips. I then moved on to my “to dos.” As I continued, a bit of anxiety came over me: the pages were filling up quickly. 34

on the minds of moms | february • march twenty eighteen

So many timelines and so many decisions to be made. This past year marked a significant change for this mom-became-business owner, so it’s a big year. My new adventure is picking up steam, and I guess I was hoping that Confucius was on to something when he said, “Choose a job you love, and you will never have to work a day in your life.” As I look forward to 2018 I am starting to question the validity of this philosophy. I reviewed the planner pages and there is nothing but work ahead of me, hard work. When I was working my so called “nine-to-five” jobs I dreamed of the freedom of having my own business. I envisioned myself floating from coffee shop to coffee shop looking smart in my casual but chic attire, carrying a beyond-adorable laptop bag, and making confident business decisions as I sipped Americanos. The reality is me sitting in a messy home office and suddenly realizing it is 2:00 p.m. and I have bed-head and I’m still wearing my pajamas. Which, I guess, when you take a minute to think, is the perfect outfit for agonizing over making the right business decisions and refilling a Keurig.

just a thought With the risk of sounding dramatic, I felt like I was slipping into a desperate funk. That’s when I had the big ‘ah-ha’ moment. I was at a family baby shower visiting with my aunt and filling her in on my business and the highlights of the past year and next steps. Then she asked me, “How do you know what to do?” It was an innocent question and I paused, then said, “You know what? I don’t. I guess I am just figuring it out as I go along. I am learning every day.” We spent the rest of the shower talking babies and ‘oohing’ and ‘aahhing’ over the latest and greatest baby gadgets, and then it hit me: I’ve had this excited anxiety before. Not knowing what to do and worrying about every decision I make. Not sleeping and finding myself in pajamas late into the afternoon isn’t new. I’ve been a mother for 24 years and motherhood is an unbelievable teacher. Over the years I have found myself agonizing over choices from toys to nannies to colleges. I have found myself up at night reliving conversations with my children on how to deal with good friends, teachers, and roommates. I set bed times, disciplined, and let things go, just hoping I did it right and second guessing myself at every turn. In

short, I didn’t know what I was doing, and I just figured it out as I went along. I made decisions based on my thoughts and feelings and my children’s needs. Making calculated decisions daily. And I know now that even when I was wrong I learned a great deal from that failure and so did my kids. In short, motherhood has been the hardest and most rewarding thing I have ever done, and I have to say it never felt like work. Maybe Confucius had a point. Motherhood felt more important than work and I loved every great and painful moment. So now, as my decision-making moves from feeding and bedtime schedules to business plans and growing a brand, I am going to attack this year head on and love every minute of it. Because if I can raise four pretty well-adjusted [in my opinion anyway] kids, I can do anything! Deb is a city girl from Finley, ND, and she and her husband, Tim, have called the Fargo-Moorhead area home for the last 15 years. She graduated from Drake University in Des Moines, IA, with a degree in Journalism and Mass Communications. Currently Deb’s day job is working on her next adventure and she welcomes the pleasant distraction that writing brings. She is mom to Jake [24], Tony [23], Nick [23], and Emily [21], and credits them for her inspiration. She fills her spare time with golf, HGTV, shopping, and Netflix.

Parenting

SESSIONS

Make plans to join us for a series of parenting classes intended to inspire, teach and build positive outcomes for parents and caregivers of children from birth to two year olds. Topics include: • Play & Milestones

• Emotional Health & Positive Discipline

• Self-Care for Moms and Fatherhood

www.onthemindsofmoms.com

• Nutrition

Sanfordhealth.org, Keyword: Kohl’s Cares 032000-00442 12/17 february • march twenty eighteen | on the minds of moms

courage to become more photos: ten little chickens photography | renee clasen

sally erickson

story by | sheri kleinsasser stockmoe

t was just before her 34th birthday. “I was depressed with my life,” Sally remembers. She sought the help of a counselor.

“Something’s gotta change,” she remembers confiding. “All people will say about me is ‘she had a house and she worked at Microsoft.’” Sally wanted things different. She wanted more in her future. But she’d have to take steps forward and trust the plan God had for her. She was ready.

courage to become more “I always wanted to write her a letter,” Sally Erickson says, as tears fill her eyes, recalling her desire as a little girl to communicate with her sister Melissa. Melissa was two years older than Sally and six years older than youngest sister Katie. Melissa passed away at the age of seven from cancer. Sally vividly remembers the Sunday afternoon the family realized something was wrong with Melissa. As the girls played in the living room of their home near Ada,

www.onthemindsofmoms.com

MN, Sally’s foot brushed the side of Melissa’s stomach. “It hurt her and you could feel a lump,” Sally recalls. Melissa would undergo surgery and subsequent chemotherapy treatments. “We'd pick her up every day for chemo treatments,” Sally says. “She was in first grade and we'd go to the school in the afternoon and her locker was the second orange one. I'd go get her jacket and we’d head to Miss Burton’s room to pick up Melissa and go to Fargo.” “I remember at the end my parents told me she was going to die,” Sally says as she wipes tears from her cheeks. “They were doing their best to prepare me. I can’t imagine how it was for them. My mom was under 30 and my dad right around 30. They were so young.” 38

on the minds of moms | february • march twenty eighteen

“Without the strength of the Lord, you could never make it through the death of a child,” Sally’s mom, Gail, says. Her parents were always willing to listen and talk about Melissa. “Talking about it at home was never prohibited, but I didn't talk about it because…well, I didn't want to make my parents sad. I didn't want to make my mom sad,” Sally says. “And I didn't talk about it much with other people because you become aware early on that it makes people uncomfortable. Looking back, I wish we

would have talked about it a little bit more, even through the tears. And like I said, I always wanted to write Melissa a letter. I should've.” becoming more Life kept moving forward. Sally attended Concordia College in Moorhead. Her senior year she completed an internship at Great Plains Software [now Microsoft] and after graduation accepted a position there. She bought a home in Kindred and loved to travel, especially with her partner in crime and younger sister, Katie. “I’ve been to amazing places like London and Japan,” Sally says. But she longed for more. “I was depressed with my life,” she says of how she felt before her 34th birthday. “I actually went and saw a

courage to become more counselor because I knew something had to change. All people will say about me is ‘she had a house and she worked at Microsoft.’ I didn't have a husband and kids… my life didn't look like what I wanted it to look like.”

What if she wrote a book about her experience? A book for children and parents that addressed some of things she went through and also placed her faith at the heart of it…what if?

There had always been two things she wanted to do… “My major in college was Business and English Writing to become. But did she have the courage to take the because during my freshman year we had to take steps to make them a reality? these discourse classes and one of my professors said I should be a writer,” Sally recalls. “I knew I was good, becoming an author but until she said that, I don’t think I really believed it.” To Sally’s surprise, many of the conversations she had

with her counselor ended up talking about Melissa. “With grief, there's no expiration date,” the counselor told Sally. “It can hit you at any time.”

Sally admits that while she did always want to write Melissa a letter, it seemed silly. “Because I'm a realist and know you can't send a letter to heaven,” she says with a laugh. But she did it anyway.

She wrote the book, decided to self-publish it, and now she needed the pages to come alive with illustrations. Here, childhood friend Ali Holley was the right person for the job.

“I bawled the whole way through it,” she says softly. “And then I just…I felt better.”

“I was scared and filled with excitement,” Ali says of being asked to illustrate such a personal and powerful story. A licensed counselor and art therapist, Ali currently works

“We shared a room and I just wanted to talk to her,” Sally remembers telling the counselor.

february • march twenty eighteen | on the minds of moms

www.onthemindsofmoms.com

“Well, why don't you write her a letter?” the counselor asked.

For years Sally has loved writing in rhyme. With her counselor’s encouragement, she wrote a children’s book about her childhood experience with Melissa’s cancer diagnosis and death. And she attended the annual Society of Children’s Book Writers and Illustrators’ conference in New York City to learn the ins and outs of writing and publishing a children’s book.

courage to become more as a mental-health professional specializing in infant and early-childhood mental health and art therapy. “I utilize art making, books, and toys in much of the work I do with children, families, and individuals.” Sally cut out lines of the story and put together what words she thought should go on each page and Ali added the art. Together Sally and Ali created Letters to Heaven: Sally’s story about cancer, heaven…and hope. “I wrote it for me because I just had to get it out,” Sally confesses. “But I also want it to help kids and families that have gone through the same experience.” Much like Sally, the book also has a strong faith. “I can't talk about death without talking about heaven and Jesus,” she explains. Sally’s best friend Janna Engel describes her introduction to Sally’s book. “Sally, myself, and my husband were meeting for supper and she brought a first draft for us to read. We were both crying at the table after we read it! Now, after reading her published book, I still tear up thinking about the loss of a sister, but there is the uplifting message of knowing we will meet again in heaven.” “The first time I read her book, I really cried,” Gail says. “The book is very real.” But her daughter writing a book doesn’t surprise her. “If Sally wants to do something she always finds the strength to do it, and does it.”

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waiting for a miracle With her counselor, Sally also talked about her desire to be a mother and the option of adoption. “Even though I thought about it I told her that I didn’t think I'd do it because my dad is a huge part of my life and it doesn’t seem fair that I would make the choice to say this child won't have a dad.”

drove home crying. You meet all the other couples that are trying to get approved too. And at first--before I went--I thought I was going to be meeting my competition, but then after meeting everybody and hearing their stories, your like 'oh, I hope they get a baby, too!’” The applicants also had to talk about how comfortable they were with open adoption. Open adoption is a form of adoption where biological and adoptive families have access to varying degrees of each other's personal information, as well as an option of contact. This was something Sally was very open to. “Because I'll be a single parent, the more people that love my kid the better,” Sally shares on her view of open adoption. “And everybody deserves to know where they came from.” All the paperwork was done and training completed… now she waited. becoming a mom March 13, 2013, Sally’s cellphone rang while she was at work. It was her adoption social worker. “I walk out of my cube and down the hall. And she starts telling me that there's a family that would like to meet me and the baby's already here.” Her heart raced. “I pretended to work for another hour and then came home,” she says with a laugh. The following week she would meet the parents of a sweet baby boy. Sally was nervous, to say the least. “I'm introverted and shy usually when I first meet people, but they are extroverts,” Sally says of meeting the couple. “They just started talking, and then we just kept talking, and it felt like we were old friends. We could've talked for hours.” It felt right for everyone. At the end of the meeting the couple told Sally they wanted her to be their baby boy’s mom.

The more she talked with her counselor, the more Sally realized adoption was very much on her heart. “I decided “I got my miracle…I got Luke.” I’d take the steps to do it and I figured it's going take a Sally had a week before she officially brought Luke home miracle,” Sally says of adopting as a single parent. “So if and the anticipation was almost suffocating. She also I get the miracle, I guess that means God's okay with it.” wondered how her small community and co-workers On her 34th birthday, Sally submitted her initial would react. “Because this is kind of unconventional,” application for adoption. “I started the process and they Sally acknowledges of being a single parent adopting. sent me more paperwork and I did that, but I wasn't in “I mean, only celebrities do this! It’s not heard of in any hurry. I decided I wasn’t going to stress about it.” Kindred, North Dakota! But everybody has been so gracious and supportive.” She then had to participate in a two-day training session. “It was very emotional,” Sally recalls. “And each night I “Absolute joy,” is how Katie describes Luke and the 40

on the minds of moms | february • march twenty eighteen

courage to become more impact he has had on the Erickson family. “I frequently say that we were so boring without him!” And her biggest priority is her red-haired, turning-fivein-March little boy. “I have no idea what I'm doing,” Sally confesses a sentiment all moms can relate to. “I don’t have it all together. I don't. But I've got a good network and I think single parents need that. And yes, I wanted to be married and have a family, but it didn't work out the way I had planned. But Luke is just awesome. And his birth parents are a part of our family. I wouldn’t change anything.”

Ali agrees. “I admire her drive to identify a dream and accomplish it. Both of these accomplishments, publishing a book and pursuing adoption, are things that would be easy to say you might want to do and then never move toward accomplishing, but Sally did!” And Sally isn’t done. She is currently writing I was Never in Your Tummy: Luke’s Adoption Story, which Ali will illustrate as well. “We plan to release it this year,” Sally says. “I’d also like to do some speaking related to both books and the lessons I’ve learned.”

becoming the change “We are very proud of Sally!” Gail simply says about Yes, you can still say Sally has a house and works at her daughter. Microsoft, but it doesn’t end there. She’s an author, Yes, she has accomplished a lot since first visiting her mom, and dream maker. And those closest to her will counselor and she hopes to teach Luke two important add that she’s strong, hard-working, determined, has lessons by her actions. “Have faith and go after your a heart of gold, and a deep faith. dreams,” she says quietly with a soft smile. “I’m so proud of Sally,” Janna says of her friend. “Not many Learn more about Sally and Ail and their upcoming books at www. of us follow through with our hopes and dreams. Sally SallyAndAli.com and purchase Letters to Heaven: Sally’s story followed through on her top two dreams…how cool is that? about cancer, death…and hope online at Amazon, Barnes & Noble, And it wasn’t easy, but she was patient and persistent.” or WestBowPress.com.

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Visit www.we-ortho.com or call (701) 293-5300 to take the next step towards a better smile. WE can do it.

february • march twenty eighteen | on the minds of moms

ready, set, grow

story by | sheri kleinsasser stockmoe

“S

o, how old was wee one Suzy when she whatever?” or “When did you start letting teen Ian do this-or-that?”…sound familiar? We spend lots of time wondering if our kiddos are on track and when we need to start something new. Here are a few areas to make sure you’re on time.

what time is it?

ready, set, grow

the World Health Organization recommends breastfeeding for two years.

wee ones [0–18 months]

“S

o let’s get this straight…you want me to just forget about the one thing that almost always brings me comfort, happiness, and literally makes me feel full inside? You’re crazy!” These would be the words of your wee one, if he could actually talk, when discussing the notion of weaning him from breastfeeding or his bottle.

moving to the bottle The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends breastfeeding throughout the first year of wee one’s life and then as long thereafter as mama and kiddo want. Regardless, at some point nursing will stop whether it is you or your wee one deciding. Skipping or shortening feedings are two ways to transition your wee one: • skip one Start cutting out one feeding every couple of days, substituting it with a bottle or cup, whichever is appropriate for the age of your wee one. This method allows your wee one a few weeks to adjust.

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on the minds of moms | february • march twenty eighteen

• shorten it Try shortening each breastfeeding session. With this method you will want to follow each session with a bottle or cup or solid-food snack, depending on which is most appropriate to your wee one’s development. cup here I come Moving to a cup, whether your wee one is coming from the breast or bottle, should begin around his first birthday. While this can be a difficult transition, introducing the cup early can help. Once your wee one is able to sit up and has started some finger food, let him play around with a cup. Start with a two- handled sippy cup with a soft spout. Yes, at first it will be nothing more than a toy, but he will become familiar with it and that’s the point. Then as he is moving to solid foods, start helping him with a real cup at mealtime.

you will have changed about 7,300 diapers by the time your tot turns two.

ready, set, grow

tots

[18 months–3 years]

hether you bought the cute little potty that makes music or the toilet-seat cover decorated with your tot’s favorite cartoon character, he still might not be as excited as you to get rid of the diapers. But just imagine that glorious day when that sweet little tot looks at you and says, “I need go potty!” bye-bye diapers…hello TP When it comes to potty training, most tots will get the hang of it between 18 months and three years. It’s really important to remember there is no correlation between your skill as a mother and when your tot is potty trained! Our tots are unique, sometimes stubborn, little creatures so don’t let the calendar dictate when potty training begins, but rather make sure you and your tot are ready:

Mama Signs • Your patience hat is firmly in place • Bribery materials [treats, stickers, etc.] are in high supply • Potty essentials [potty chair or toilet seat, training pants, etc.] are bought • Ready to be done with dirty diapers Once you’re committed to start potty training, make sure everyone is on board for a consistent approach to put the pee-pee in the potty. Keep your sense of humor and get excited for your tot when he does his duty. Remember you can’t force it and there will be some ‘accidents.’ It might not seem like it now, but you won’t be changing diapers forever!

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Tot Signs • Imitates going potty like a big kid • Verbally communicates other sensations like being hungry • Understands simple requests, such as "go get the blanket" • Begins to pull diaper off when dirty, or comes to tell you he's dirty • Able to pull clothes on and off • Stays dry for longer stretches [three to four hours]

february • march twenty eighteen | on the minds of moms

ages in a single kindergarten class can range as much as 18 months and developmentally those differences can range between three and eight years old mentally.

ready, set, grow

preschoolers [3–5 years]

ou can buy the backpack, the new shoes, crayons, pencils, scissors, and the cutest first-day outfit ever, but are they really ready for school-school?

ready for real school Starting kindergarten is a big step that requires more than being five [before August 1st in ND and before September 1st in MN] of the school-year start date]. Your preschooler’s ability to think logically, speak clearly, and interact well with other children and adults are important factors to being successful in school. If you’re the mama of a super child who excels on each front mentioned, you have no worries. But for the remaining 99.9% of us, we might have concerns. If your kiddo goes to daycare or a preschool, rely on the teachers there for

guidance. And remember, as moms, we are blessed with heightened intuition, so use it! You know your kiddo better than anyone else. Ask yourself these questions: • Can he listen to instructions and then follow them? • Is he able to care for himself, like hanging his coat and backpack or going to the bathroom by himself? • Can he recite the alphabet and count? • Can he hold a pencil and cut with scissors? • Does he show an interest in books and tries to "read" by telling a story based on the pictures? • Is he curious and wants to learn new things? • Does he get along well with other kids and is able to work in a group? • Does he share and know how to take turns? You might not answer YES to every question above, but if you answered yes or sometimes to all of them, your preschooler will likely do well in kindergarten. And if not, another year of preschool may be just what he needs.

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an estimated 45 million American kids play competitive youth sports

ready, set, grow

big kids [6–9 years]

o there’s soccer, football, baseball, karate, basketball, tennis, hockey, swimming, dancing, gymnastics, and just think how cute your big kid will be in the uniform! Our big kids have lots of options and it’s important to let them dip their toes in the sports pool and see what feels right.

you got a baller? Sports offer a ton of benefit for our big kids. They learn to work with their peers and coaches, discover the benefit of practice, and have the opportunity to challenge themselves in a safe environment. And let’s not forget the huge benefit of having fun while being physically active! Here are a few things to remember with your big kids and sports: • ready or not So when is the right time to start? Like everything else, it depends on the kid. You don’t want to start too early if your child isn’t physically

ready. You may just set her up for frustration. Last thing you want to do is turn her away from sports and being active. By age six or seven most big kids are ready physically and they’ll have the attention span needed to listen and grasp game rules. • which one Now that your big kid is ready, you need to pick a sport. The easy answer is to let him try the sport he is interested in. If your big kid isn’t sure, take into account his temperament and whether a team or individual sport would better suit him. • schedule watch There are lots of opportunities for your big kid to participate in sports and other activities. Keep a close watch on the schedule and make sure your big kid [and you] are able to enjoy the experiences you are exposing her too. There is only so much time in the day and no way to fit every single thing in.

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february • march twenty eighteen | on the minds of moms

ready, set, grow

the average onset of puberty is age 10-14 for girls and 12-16 for boys.

tweeners [10–12 years]

think we would all like to believe we didn’t go through puberty until we were Juniors in high school. Sorry, sista…that isn’t the case. While many girls get their first period around 12 or 13 years old, it can happen as early as nine [I know, freaks us out a little]. With the increased access to TV and the internet our kids will likely have information about puberty and relationships before we talk directly with them about it, and that information isn’t always reliable. everybody changes Seriously, when you consider all the changes associated with puberty, it feels like a warming statement on the latest prescription-drug commercial! Talk about scary!

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Here are some important considerations when talking about puberty: • timing It is especially important you talk to your daughters about menstruation before it happens. Girls will usually get their first period two to two-and-a-half years after they start puberty. Boys will generally enter puberty later, around 11 to 12 years, but again changes sexually can occur without needing to look older or have facial hair. • talking So what do you say? First, you want to be honest and explain that this happens to everybody. It’s also important to let them know that while everyone goes through puberty, it doesn’t happen at the same time. It’s also important to talk about the changes both genders go through. • tips A conversation about puberty probably gives you and your tween butterflies. Regardless of how uncomfortable you might feel, it is so important to keep the lines of communication open. It doesn’t have to be this huge birds-and-bees discussion. You can save that for another time. Stick to the changes they will experience and that they will get through it. Heck, they’ll have living proof right in front of them! Make time to talk with your tween and make it clear that you are always available for questions.

Sources:

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on the minds of moms | february • march twenty eighteen

one in three adolescents in the U.S. is a victim of physical, sexual, emotional, or verbal abuse from a dating partner

ready, set, grow

teens [13–18years]

o which would be worse: picking-up your tot from daycare to find out he bit the cute little girl with pigtails or having him come home 13 years later to tell you he’s going out Friday with the cute little girl who used to wear pigtails? For those with a teen under your roof, it might be a toss-up. While more serious relationships are reserved for the later teen years, ‘pairing off’ will start in the early teen years.

Proud mama of Seely and Shya, and wife to Van Halen super-fan Stu, Sheri is also co-founder of OTMOM. She believes in UND green, Jesus, burnt marshmallows make the best s’mores, coffee…lots and lots of coffee, she has the best mom and dad ever, and without a doubt EVERYONE has a story to share.

April 9-May 14 | 6 pm-7:15 pm each Monday

This series is led by our Grief Support Coordinators Ann Jacobson & Sonja Kjar. Space is limited. Pre-registration required. Call or e-mail today! 701.237.6441 www.boulgerfuneralhome.com

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february • march twenty eighteen | on the minds of moms

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the word Dating is basically a time of social experimentation. Sounds scary, but it is a time your teen will evaluate what type of partner appeals to him and learn how to negotiate a romantic relationship. Inevitably, when the subject of teen dating comes up, so does the topic of sex. There are a lot of different opinions on what should and shouldn’t be discussed with our teens regarding sex. We aren’t going to discuss ‘The Talk,’ but we are going touch on a few things related to dating safely: • monkey see, monkey do An elementary concept, but remember, your relationships and how your teen sees you treat and be treated, speaks louder than words. • NO! If ever in a sexual situation, teach your teen to communicate clearly and listen to what is said. ‘I’m not so sure,’ is not the same as a clear and firm ‘NO.’ No means no and when you hear it there is no persuading or proceeding. • conscience knows best Tell your teen to listen to his/her inner voice and trust his/her judgment. If

a situation makes him/her feel uncomfortable, it’s a situation he/she shouldn’t be in. • danger signs Our sons and daughters both need to know the signs of an abusive relationship and who they can talk to. Being manipulated, pushed or hit, verbally put down, isolated from other friends, or feeling threatened are all danger signs and your teen needs to know that is not love.

photo: exposures by j.linnea | josette hayes

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