Feb/March 2019 On the Minds of Moms by on the minds of moms

february– march

twenty nineteen

the valley’s

for today’s

Save time and Shop online YOU CHOOSE

Get started at hornbachers.com

This is what a good day looks like.

ORTHOPEDICS LIKE NOWHERE ELSE Here, our hobbies become our work, and our work becomes our passion. But when joint pain keeps us from doing what we love, it can affect our entire way of life. That’s why we meet these challenges head on — one by one, day after day. So whatever your good day looks like, we’ll find it together. Get started now — call 701-364-HURT or visit EssentiaHealth.org. 32nd Avenue Clinic Orthopedics & Sports Medicine 3000 32nd Avenue S | Fargo

Walk-In Clinic Hours: Monday-Friday 8:15-11:30 am and 1:30-4:00 pm

contents

in every issue food for thought . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 14 event calendar . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 16 shutterbug

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 20

contents

sections gettinâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; through it women & ADD: the hidden disabilityâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;what you need to know about attention deficit disorder . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 22

just a thought one day at a time . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 28

did you know north dakota reading corps: benefiting students & tutors . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 32

ready, set, grow you did what!?!? . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 42

contents

feature & profiles

mod mom profile latana peasland . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 10

cover story lindsay opp dreams to reality . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 34

moms

on the minds of

A family friendly night out.

Y U be Y U

www.onthemindsofmoms.com

PUBLISHER DS Communication, LLC EDITORS Sheri Kleinsasser Stockmoe p: 701.306.1624 e: sheri@onthemindsofmoms.com Dani Parkos Fluge e: dani@onthemindsofmoms.com

COPY EDITOR Charlotte Berg

ADVERTISING Patty Nystrom p: 701.269.4180 e: patty@onthemindsofmoms.com Sheri Kleinsasser Stockmoe p: 701.306.1624 e: sheri@onthemindsofmoms.com

PHOTOGRAPHY Renee Clasen – ten little chickens photography Josette Hayes–exposures by j.linnea Scott Thuen-thuen studios DESIGN AND LAYOUT

Scott Thuen – thuen studios www.thuenstudios.com

AD DESIGN Casie Beldo Scott Thuen Tara Kessler Stephanie Drietz CONTACT mail: PO Box 190, Fargo, ND 58107 e: hello@onthemindsofmoms.com p: 701.297.2138 SUBSCRIPTION print www.onthemindsofmoms.com/subscribe digital issuu.com/onthemindsofmoms

COVER PHOTO BY Renee Clasen – ten little chickens photography

SFI-00574

Dinner, silent auction, games + more! Kids ages 7+ welcome with adult.

OTMOM MISSION STATEMENT On The Minds Of Moms Magazine is dedicated to providing parents of all ages a bimonthly resource they can trust. A fresh approach to traditional parenting publications, we are modern and inspiring while offering a community of local support and real-life advice for today’s family. On The Minds Of Moms contains views from across the parenting spectrum. These views do not necessarily reflect those of the publisher. All activities listed in these pages are at your own risk and require appropriate supervision. OTMOM is a publication available at all Fargo-Moorhead Hornbacher's, Family Fare, and Grand Forks–East Grand Forks Hornbacher's and Hugo's grocery store locations. Distribution also includes all partnering advertisers. Copyright 2018 All Rights Reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced without written permission from the publisher. On The Minds Of Moms is a trademark registered at the U.S. Patent and Trademark Office.

atana Peasland grew up in the small town of Sheldon, North Dakota southwest of Fargo with her two sisters, Missy and Lakken, brother Chris, and parents Tammy Boeder, who still lives in Sheldon and the late Virgil Boeder. A

NDSCS Wahpeton Wildcat alum, Latana received her degree in Computer Science and then moved to Sioux Falls for her first job. While in South Dakota she met Brian her husband of 15 years now. Moving back to Fargo to be closer to family, Latana is the Help Desk Manager at Flint Group and mama to three boys, Chay [10] and seven-year-old twin Jace and Jenner. Away from her IT duties at work and chasing after her boys, Latana loves to do interior design.

photos: exposures by j.linnea | josette hayes

latana peasland age 41, fargo.nd

one word that best describes my parenting style… encouraging

the woman i most admire is… my mom. She is the most selfless person I know. She’s kind hearted, patient, nurturing, independent, strong and family oriented. I can always count on her to be my biggest supporter and an amazing grandma to my boys.

I want my kids to one day experience… the amount of unconditional love that I have for each of them as a parent.

only boy moms understand… the amount of energy, noise level, and constant need to wrestle in the house.

growing up i always wanted to… work in the medical field. I wanted to be a nurse, paramedic or an ultrasound technician.

Helping to

protect

what matters

mod mom

i can’t live without my… cell phone

the movie i could watch over and over again… Dirty Dancing. I was a big Patrick Swayze fan.

one thing i long to do again someday… travel

my biggest mom challenge… having enough time in the day

i spend “me time” by… shopping and watching Netflix.

Helping students read with confidence & pursue their dreams! Helping Students Overcome Dyslexia, Mathematics and Language Comprehension Difficulties 2912 15th Street S, Suite C Moorhead, MN 56560 218.359.0505 ReadingTherapyCenter.com

most

www.onthemindsofmoms.com

701-277-1710

Remediation of Reading, Comprehension, Language & Math Disabilities for Children & Adults

www.tciteam.com

Home • Auto • Business • Farm • Health • Life february • march twenty nineteen | on the minds of moms

mod mom

people are always surprised to learn i…

my boys can best be described as…

am a mom to twins and that I don’t cook. I like to bake but I don’t cook.

energetic, adventurous, athletic. When they get home from school or practice they are downstairs playing hockey or outside playing.

i’m proud of my family’s ability to…

www.onthemindsofmoms.com

juggle school, homework and continue to do the sports that we all love.

on the minds of moms | february • march twenty nineteen

the quality of i most hope by boys have is… knowing right from wrong. I want my boys to avoid doing the wrong things and have the strength to do the right things even when it’s difficult.

...but

I Love paying Full Price!

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food for thought

new favorite salmon recipe

photo: thuen studiosâ&#x20AC;&#x201A; | scott thuen

shared by | kari klingsporn hitterdal

or some, cooking fish is intimidating. I get it. It’s delicate and a lot less forgiving than ground beef. But, a simply cooked slab of fish is so rewarding if you know a few easy tricks to make it amazing. My sister and brother-in-law, interesting and clever cooks who always bring something exciting to the table, shared this recipe with me last summer. Now, it’s our new favorite preparation that is a fast and flavorful punch to add into your recipe rotation year ‘round. You can cook the fish once it’s marinaded any way you want- on the grill right on the grates or on a baking sheet in the oven are great. I am sharing how to cook your salmon in foil packets in the oven, which delivers incredibly moist and flavorful results every time and is pretty much foolproof to execute. The key is not over cooking it- use your meat thermometer, please! It’s great for guests and it is even doable for a not-so-crazy weeknight! you need: ½ cup soy sauce or liquid aminos ½ cup fresh orange juice or good quality store bought (fresh lemon juice can also be used) ½ cup honey 1-2 tablespoons Sriracha sauce, or to taste 4 fillets of salmon, 5-8 ounces each, depending on how big of eaters you are feeding! how to: First, make the marinade by mixing together the soy sauce, orange juice, honey and sriracha well in a small bowl. Place the fish fillets in a shallow non-reactive pan just large enough to fit all of the fish in, overlapping slightly if necessary. Pour the marinade over the fish, leaving to marinate at least 30 minutes or all day in the refrigerator. If you don’t have time

to let it steep, no problem! When you are ready to bake the salmon, preheat oven to 375°. Next, cut 4 pieces of foil into 12 inch sections- large enough to make sure you have enough foil to wrap around the fish with plenty of extra on each end to twist shut the ends. Place one fish filet in the center of each lightly oiled foil sheet lengthwise, adding some of the marinade juices on top, and quickly fold over the two sides sides not too snuggly, overlapping the fish, attempting to not let the liquid run out of the foil packet, and seal the seams tight! Simply twist the ends of the of the packets to seal the fish fillets. Place the foil packets on a half sheet baking pan, seams up, and bake for about 20 minutes until the salmon reaches internal temperature of 145°, checking after 15 minutes in the oven. Once the fish has reached 145°, remove from oven and relish the flavors! Serves 4.

feeding your family TIP: I never used to know how much meat or fish to buy when planning meals my family. I don’t like to spend too much money on groceries, I don’t like waste, and I don’t love leftovers for days and days. How much does a recipe really mean when it proclaims a serving amount? Here’s my quick calculation based upon the recipe above to help you through the process of knowing how much fish or meat you really need. When a recipe tells me it serves 4, I assume that means 4 adults. Standard fish/meat servings are usually 5-6 ounces per person. However, I usually count a kid’s portion as about half of an adult amount, so, probably 3 ounces per kid will cut it. And, for my husband, well, he can usually eat a full 8 ounce fish serving, as opposed to the standard serving of 5 to 6 ounces. So, if my family of 5 is eating our new favorite salmon recipe, for instance, I’ll need 8 ounces for my husband, 5-6 ounces each for me and my teenage son, and 3 ounces each for my younger two daughters: Totalling 26 ounces. It’s usually spot on to know exactly how much fish or meat we need for any recipe, and I don’t end up overspending nor do I have to feel guilty about throwing leftovers out! Kari's passion for food, family, and fun has been with her since her upbringing on her beloved Big Floyd Lake near Detroit Lakes, MN. She earned Secondary Education degrees in both Social Studies and English from Concordia College in Moorhead, MN. She enjoyed a brief stint as a caterer and cooking instructor, but has proudly spent most of her motherhood as a stay-at-home mom. Her husband, Brent, and three children, Gunnar, Ava, and Ella, have all [mostly] been eager taste testers to whatever is on the table for dinner.

class ends with a deep guided relaxation to help restore the body at this changing time.

One Enchanted Evening Tickets on Sale www.moorheadparks.com

february events

3, 10, 17 & 24

Healthy Moms for Healthy Babies: Prenatal Yoga www.sanfordhealth.org/ classes-and-events The Healthy Moms for Healthy Babies series at Sanford Southpointe Clinic [2400 32nd Av S, Fargo] will focus on giving you the tools to develop a healthy lifestyle now and to commit to lifelong changes. Prenatal Yoga is offered 4pm-5pm and focuses on breathing and safe sequences which can help ease labor and delivery. A Certified Prenatal Yoga Instructor will take you through a basic routine. Our prenatal structure encourages movement into optimal birthing positioning, as well as strengthening and softening the pelvic floor to make for a safe labor and works muscles that mom will need in the early stages after baby has arrived. Our yoga

Back by popular demand, this February 23rd evening for youth, ages 4-12 and their family at Hjemkomst Center [202 1st Av N, Moorhead] features a grand march, dancing, refreshments, photos, and memories to last a lifetime. Semi-formal dress is encouraged. All are invited to attend the grand march; however, only ticketed couples will be allowed to stay afterwards for the dance. Tickets are $12 per person, and will be available for purchase beginning February 4th, by calling the Moorhead Parks and Recreation office at 218.299.5340, or by visiting moorheadparks.com. A limited number of tickets will be available, so be sure to purchase yours early! The registration deadline is February 14th.

4 & 11

S’mores & More on Ice www.fargoparks.com Come join us at S’mores & More on Ice for a night out with the family, 5pm-7pm at Kennedy Park [4501 42nd St S, Fargo] on the 4th, and Centennial Park [4101 25th St S, Fargo] on the 11th. Enjoy s’more supplies to cook your own, hot chocolate and music playing to enjoy. The rink and warming house will be available to use

during the event. Don't forget to bring your ice skates so you can skate to the music on the outdoor rink.

5, 7, 12, 14, 19, 21, 26 & 28

This nine-hour American Red Cross Babysitting Course at Family Wellness [2960 Seter Parkway], 8am-5pm, is a hands-on way for ages 11+ to learn everything you need to know about babysitting. Start your babysitting business on the right foot and learn how to be a safe, professional and reliable sitter. Included in the course is American Red Cross First Aid and CPR Certification that is valid for two years. This course will teach you to be safe on the job, how to recognize an emergency and how to handle it as well. $65 Members/$95 Non-members. Register online.

Safety Shoppe Car Seat Check www.sanfordhealth.org/ classes-and-events Statistically four out of five car seats are installed incorrectly. Are you sure yours is right? Don’t take a chance. Head to The Safety Shoppe [601 39th St N, Fargo] Tuesdays 10:45am-7:15pm or Thursdays 1:15pm-5pm. Events are free and open to the public. Space is limited, and appointments are required. Please note that it will take a minimum of 30 minutes per car seat per car.

Red Cross CPR, First Aid and AED Combo Class www.familywellnessfargo.org Ages 15+ Prepare for the unexpected and gain the knowledge and skills needed for effective leadership in the event of an emergency! This course at Family Wellness [2960 Seter Parkway], 6:30pm-10:30pm will prepare you to recognize and care for a variety of first aid, breathing, and cardiac emergencies involving infants, children, and adults. Topics include how to recognize and manage an emergency situation, basic first aid, standard emergency care procedures and administration, CPR, AED, and more. After completion of this class, you will be certified for two years in Red Cross CPR, AED, and First Aid for adults, children, and infants. $44 Members/ $95 Nonmembers Register online.

Purses for a Purpose www.thenextstepnd.com

BE A PART OF THE TRADITION ENROLL NOW 2019-20 SCHOOL YEAR

Providing exceptional faith-based education while inspiring excellence. www.onthemindsofmoms.com

3 yr old Little Deacons - 12th Grade For information or a tour call 701-893-3271 jp2schools.org

HOLY SPIRIT ELEMENTARY

NATIVITY ELEMENTARY

SULLIVAN MIDDLE SCHOOL

TRINITY ELEMENTARY

SHANLEY HIGH SCHOOL

on the minds of moms | february • march twenty nineteen

Join the Next Step ND for its 2nd annual Purses for a Purpose event, 6:30pm-8:30pm at Atonement Church [4601 S University Dr, Fargo], which serves victims of human traffic in the FM area. Funds raised will bridge the gap to help victims get back on their feet and into the community. New purses collected will be filled with personal items, a note of prayer, and later distributed to shelters who assist trafficking victims. Event includes dessert, tea and coffee, a formal program, free will offering, and a raffle. This event is in conjunction with the national movement "End It" to end trafficking.

Babysitter Training www.familywellnessfargo.org

Healthy Cooking: Heart Shaped Vegie Pizza www.familywellnessfargo.org Come to Family Wellness [2960 Seter Parkway], 1:30pm-2:30pm learn how to make healthy veggie pizzas that will melt your heart! $12 Members, $20 Non-members. Ages 5+, ages 5-7 must be accompanied by adult. Please register at least 48 hours in advance.

Pint Size Explorers: What’cha Takin About? www.redriverzoo.org Ages 4-8, head to the Red River Zoo [4255 23rd Av S, Fargo] and let’s Talk about our Takin. Roam around the zoo and get a closer look at our Szechuan Takin and how they survive in the wild at high elevations. From horn to hooves, we will explore ways animals are able to climb up and live in a mountain! Choose from a 10am-11:30am or 3pm-4:30pm session. Program fee: $15/members, $20/ non-members. Register online.

CCRI Polar Plunge www.creativecare.org The CCRI Polar Plunge is an event for the whole family! Plungers with a little courage, a warm heart, and a desire to support a worthy cause will be taking the icy dip to support people with disabilities. Head to CCRI [2903 15th St S, Moorhead], 4pm-6:30pm for horse drawn carriage rides [free], campfires, and hot chocolate in addition to the plunge entertainment. Admission is free!

Adult + Child Workshop: Ceramic Birdhouses www.plainsart.org

14 & 15

Ages 4-101 head to the Plains Art Museum [701 1st Av N, Fargo], 9:30am-noon and decorate your yard, porch, or patio with a functional bird house. Each group will work together to create one ceramic birdhouse. After construction, you can decorate your birdhouse with flowers, bugs, and other spring décor. Each house will have an opening in the back so that you can clean it out for a new family of birds each spring. Perfect for children 4+ and their adult[s]. One project per family group; please register once for the entire group. $26 members, $32 non-members. Register online.

Preschoolers ages 3–5 can learn about their world through science activities and stories that provide a little knowledge and a lot of fun! Class available 11am-noon at Dr. James Carlson Library [2801 32nd Av S, Fargo] on the 14th or at the Main Library [102 3rd St N, Fargo]. Space is limited, and pre-registration is required. Call Children’s Services at 701.241.1495 or register online.

Little Squirt Science www.fargolibary.org

14 & 23

LEGO Club www.larl.org All ages and abilities are welcome to come to the Moorhead Library [118 5th St S, Moorhead], 6pm-8pm on the 14th & 2pm-4pm on the 23rd and make their own Lego creation at our Lego Club. Supplies provided to build, but make sure to bring your imagination!

25-28

Drop off your kiddos [ages 2 years old – 6th grade] at Courts Plus [3491 S University Dr, Fargo], 5pm-8:30pm for a fun night of superhero themed games & crafts, pizza, and a movie! Don’t forget to reserve your spot by registering online!

Calling all Kindergarteners for the 2019-2020 school year! Registration for Fall 2019 opens online February 1, 2019. Complete registration at home online anytime or at computer kiosks in the office at each Fargo Public elementary school building on the following dates and times: 7:30am-4pm on the 25th & 27th or 7:30am-6pm on the 26th & 28th. Families MUST bring their child’s certified birth certificate, child’s current immunization record, and a document [i.e. current city utility bill or bank statement] that includes parent/ guardian name and address to verify the correct neighborhood school. If you are unsure of your school boundaries, please call 701.446.1043 or check online at www. fargo.k12.nd.us/boundarymaps.

F-M Moms Offering Moms Support [MOMS Club] meets the third Friday of every month at the Moorhead Public Library [118 5th St S, Moorhead] at 10am. Join other moms and kids for weekly playgroups, community events, and volunteer opportunities. For more information go to facebook.com/ MOMSClubFargo or momscluboffm@ gmail.com.

Bring your ice-fishing rod and try your luck at the annual Youth Ice-Fishing Derby, 1:30pm-3:30pm at the South Woodhaven Pond [4802 Woodhaven Dr S, Fargo], which is stocked with perch, bluegill, and northern pike. Holes will be pre-drilled for participants. This is a catch-and-release event for ages 15 and under. There is no entry fee and there will be free hot cocoa and t-shirts while supplies last.

FM MOMS Club facebook.com/MOMSClubFargo

No School Day Camp www.cortsplus.org Schools out! Head to Courts Plus [3491 S University Dr, Fargo], 1pm-4pm, for a few fantastic days filled with entertainment and exercise. Activities include sports, games, movies, outdoor activities [weather permitting], art projects and time on the indoor playground. Remember to bring your outdoor gear for some exciting outdoor games. Open to member & non-members.

bers, $22 non-members. Register online.

Kids’ Night Out [Parents’ Night Off] www.cortsplus.org

Youth Ice-Fishing Derby www.fargoparks.com

Water Color Cats www.plainsart.org Ages 6-18 head to the Plains Art Museum [701 1st Av N, Fargo], 4:30pm-6pm and gather inspiration from Laurel Burch’s cat paintings to create a regal cat watercolor painting. Investigate watercolor and resist painting techniques, color theory, and composition to create a colorful feline masterpiece. Space is limited. Each family member must register for a spot. $16 mem-

FPS Kindergarten Registration www.fargo.k12.nd.us/registration

Teen Photography www.plainsart.org Ages 12-18 head to the Plains Art Museum [701 1st Av N, Fargo] and expand your image-making skills through a series of exercises designed around the photographer’s creative tool box. Technical aspects of digital photography as well as composition, elements of design, and more will be highlighted. Downtown Fargo’s build environment will provide the backdrop for your photographs. As a group, we will work through construc-

february events

tive critique, discuss editing, and help each other build diptychs [two images presented side-by-side]. Class dates are February 26, March 5 and 19, April 2, 9, and 16, 4:30pm-7pm. $96 members, $120 non-members. Register online.

Butterfly Ball Ticket Sales www.fargoparks.com The very popular semi-formal Father/ Daughter Dance is back! Tickets go on sale starting at 8am ONLINE ONLY. Young ladies age 4-12 can create memories with dad, step-dad, uncle, grandfather, or other male role model at a magical evening of music, dancing, photo opportunities, and more. Light snacks, dessert, and punch will be served. Butterfly Ball dance dates are March 29th & 30th, held at Avalon Event Center [2525 9th Av S, Fargo]. Dance will start 6:30pm and goes until 9pm.

www.onthemindsofmoms.com

february • march twenty nineteen | on the minds of moms

march events

1&4

FPS Kindergarten Registration www.fargo.k12.nd.us/registration Calling all Kindergarteners for the 2019-2020 school year! Registration for Fall 2019 opens online February 1, 2019. Complete registration at home online anytime or at computer kiosks in the office at each Fargo Public elementary school building on the following dates and times: 7:30am-4pm on the 1st or 7:30am-6pm on the 4th. Families MUST bring their child’s certified birth certificate, child’s current immunization record, and a document [i.e. current city utility bill or bank statement] that includes parent/guardian name and address to verify the correct neighborhood school. If you are unsure of your school boundaries, please call 701.446.1043 or check online at www.fargo.k12.nd.us/boundarymaps.

3, 10, 17, 24

Healthy Moms for Healthy Babies: Stress & Anxiety Management www.sanfordhealth.org/ classes-and-events The Healthy Moms for Healthy Babies series at Sanford Southpointe Clinic [2400 32nd Av S, Fargo] will focus on giving you the tools to develop a healthy lifestyle now and to commit to lifelong changes.

Expecting and preparing for a new baby is very exciting but can also bring a lot of stress and anxiety for expectant parents. There are a lot of natural, simple things that can be done to manage this stress and anxiety during this time. In the Stress & Anxiety Management session, 2:30pm3:30pm, you will learn more about these management strategies, as well as what you can do if you feel you can’t manage your stress and anxiety on your own.

9, 16 & 30

No School Kidz Zone www.cortsplus.org

Camp Carnival www.familywellnessfargo.org Camp Carnival at the Family Wellness Center [2960 Seter Parkway, Fargo], 5pm-7pm, is a fun, free, family event where you get to sample activities from our upcoming youth summer camps! Participants will get the opportunity to dip their toes into a little bit of each camp theme from sports to art, and even the wild wilderness. Come on by to see the sights, explore with hands on activities, and let your taste buds explode with carnival treats. Activities include: large bounce houses, family dance, obstacle courses and much more. Summer camp registration will be available at a discounted, early bird price. All ages welcome. Register at the front desk. Free for members and non-members.

5, 7, 12, 14, 19, 21, 26 & 28

Celtic Festival www.fargoparks.com

www.onthemindsofmoms.com

This festival features entertainment stages, several presentations about folk traditions of the past & present, activity booths, & Celtic foods at the Hjemkomst Center [202 1st Av N, Moorhead] 10am-4pm.

Kids Dream Family Film Series www.marcustheatres.com Grab the family and head to West Acres Cinema [4101 17th Av SW, Fargo] at 10am to view your favorite family flicks for just $3.00 [$2.75 Popcorns & Fountain Drinks too]! Captain Marvel, Wonder Park, & Dumbo are set to play!

11 & 12

No School?! Head to Courts Plus [3491 S University Dr, Fargo], 8:45am-11:15am, for some fun activities including art projects, games, sports, and outdoor activities [weather permitting]. You can workout or run some errands while your kiddos stay busy! Open to member & non-members.

11 & 12

Spring Break Day Camp www.cortsplus.org Schools out! Head to Courts Plus [3491 S University Dr, Fargo], 1pm-4pm, for a few fantastic days filled with entertainment and exercise. Activities include sports, games, movies, outdoor activities [weather permitting], art projects and time on the indoor playground. Remember to bring your outdoor gear for some exciting outdoor games. Open to member & non-members.

Pint Size Explorers: Otter Fun www.redriverzoo.org Everyone knows the zoo otters like to play, but you otter join in on the fun and see how they do it! Pint Size Explorers [ages 4-6 years old] head to the Red River Zoo [4255 23rd Av S, Fargo] and see how otters play all year round, just like us. Rain, shine, or even snow nothing slows them down from having fun outside. Today is dedicated to playing games like otters and seeing how the otters play a little more closely. Choose from a 10am-11:30am or 3pm-4:30pm session. Members $15, non-members $20. Register online.

Healthy Living as a Single Parent www.sanfordhealth.org/ classes-and-events Every family is unique. There are many reasons and situations that result in single parenting, co-parenting, or one-parent family dynamics. During this class, 6:30pm-8:30pm at Sanford Health [2801 S University Dr, Fargo], you will discuss how to create and maintain a healthy lifestyle as a single parent including: self-care, work and family life, child-care options, finances, co-parenting, understanding your child's needs, communication, relationships, and so much more!

All event listings displayed within OTMOM are carefully selected to provide diverse options for families. More events found online at www.onthemindsofmoms.com/event-calendar. It is always a good idea to call ahead to confirm the information provided. Although it is not possible to list every event happening in the FM area, we encourage organizations to submit events for consideration to events@onthemindsofmoms.com

on the minds of moms | february • march twenty nineteen

Kinky Boots www.fargodome.com Grab your friends and head to the FARGODOME [1800 N University Dr, Fargo] for the 7:30pm showing of Kinky Boots! Kinky Boots is Broadway’s hugehearted, high-heeled hit! With songs by Grammy® and Tony® winning pop icon Cyndi Lauper, this joyous musical celebration is about the friendships we discover, and the belief that you can change the world when you change your mind. Inspired by true events, Kinky Boots takes you from a gentlemen’s shoe factory in Northampton to the glamorous catwalks of Milan.

14 & 23

LEGO Club www.fargolibary.org All ages and abilities are welcome to come to the Moorhead Library [118 5th St S, Moorhead], 6pm-8pm on the 14th & 2pm-4pm on the 23rd and make their own Lego creation at our Lego Club. Supplies provided to build, but make sure to bring your imagination!

FM MOMS Club facebook.com/MOMSClubFargo F-M Moms Offering Moms Support [MOMS Club] meets the third Friday of every month at the Moorhead Public Library [118 5th St S, Moorhead] at 10am. Join other moms

and kids for weekly playgroups, community events, and volunteer opportunities. For more information go to facebook.com/ MOMSClubFargo or momscluboffm@ gmail.com.

Certification that is valid for two years. This course will teach you to be safe on the job, how to recognize an emergency and how to handle it as well. $65 Members/$95 Non-members. Register online.

23 & 24

Need a night out? Drop your children [ages 2 weeks – 9 years] off at Family Wellness [2960 Seter Parkway, Fargo], 5:45pm-8:45pm, for a date night or just a night to yourself! Pre-registration required; space is limited. Sign up by noon the Friday prior to the event. $12 members, $18 non-members.

Ready, set, JUMP! This action-packed weekend at Veterans Memorial Arena [1201 7th Av E, West Fargo] provides kids of all ages with hours of fun on inflatable games, obstacle courses and more! Don’t miss out on Kiddie Land, a special area set up just for kids ages 6 and under!

Parents Night Out www.familywellnessfargo.org

St. Patty’s Day Parade www.fmstpats.com Everyone is Irish today! Celebrate St. Patrick’s Day with a downtown Fargo parade.

Babysitter Training www.familywellnessfargo.org This nine-hour American Red Cross Babysitting Course at Family Wellness [2960 Seter Parkway], 8am-5pm, is a hands-on way for ages 11+ to learn everything you need to know about babysitting. Start your babysitting business on the right foot and learn how to be a safe, professional and reliable sitter. Included in the course is American Red Cross First Aid and CPR

march events

Bouncin’ Bash & More www.wfparks.org

Teen Art Club: Street Art with Hideuhs www.plainsart.org Ages 13-18 head to the Plains Art Museum [701 1st Av N, Fargo], 5pm-7:30pm and learn street art, led by local street artist Hideuhs. Teen Art Club is a workshop series for teens where artists will lead a studio workshop in a specific artistic medium of their choice. The format will follow a traditional studio class with teaching artist demonstrations followed by work time. All materials are included in the registration cost. Members $22, non-members $28. Register online.

Adult + Child Workshop: Garden Gnomes www.plainsart.org Ages 6-99 head to the Plains Art Museum [701 1st Av N, Fargo], 10am-11:30pm and build a garden gnome full of personality. Will your gnome boast of your favorite sports team or your favorite hobby? Each gnome will be appropriate for summer outdoor displays or for staying inside all year long. For children 6+ and their adult[s]. Each participant should register for a space. $19 members, $24 non-members. Register online.

Parenting

SESSIONS

Make plans to join us for a series of parenting classes intended to inspire, teach and build positive outcomes for parents and caregivers of children from birth to two year olds. Topics include: • Play & Milestones

• Emotional Health & Positive Discipline

• Self-Care for Moms and Fatherhood

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• Nutrition

Sanfordhealth.org, Keyword: Kohl’s Cares 032000-00442 12/17 february • march twenty nineteen | on the minds of moms

ten little chickens photography

shutterbug exposures by j.linnea

ten little chickens photography

shutterbug

exposures by j.linnea

ten little chickens photography

exposures by j.linnea

gettin’ through it

women & ADD:

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the hidden disability—what you need to know about attention deficit disorder

on the minds of moms | february • march twenty nineteen

story by | kimberly blaker

According to Sari Solden, in her book Women with Attention Deficit Disorder, “Almost all women find that life today is complex, upsetting or frustrating, but they are still able to meet most of [life’s] demands reasonably well…. For women with untreated Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD), however, the demands of daily life can be crippling. It cripples their self-esteem, their families, their lives, their work and their relationships.” ADD, also known as Attention-Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (AD/HD), affects between three and five percent of the population. However, adult ADD, especially as it appears in women, often goes unrecognized. characteristics of add in women The symptoms of ADD are many. Some are more commonly seen in women and opposite the more recognized symptoms, making detection unlikely and diagnosis difficult. Each person’s experience is unique. While there is a multitude of characteristics, most women with the disorder don’t have every symptom. Instead, each woman has a mixture severe enough to impair some areas of life.

Other women with ADD may find clutter and disorganization an incredible distraction. These distractions, coupled with the responsibilities of everyday life, lead to mental disorganization as the scattered brain struggles to store, weed out, and organize in a logical fashion. For these women, being tidy and organized equals survival. This trait, when coupled with difficulty

some of the symptoms commonly seen in women, partially taken from attention deficit disorder in adults by dr. lynn weiss, are as follows: Difficulty completing tasks or following through on plans Difficulty shifting attention Excessively shifting from one activity to another Difficulty concentrating on reading Impatience Frequent preoccupation in thoughts and not hearing when spoken to Difficulty sitting still or excessive fidgeting Sudden and unexpected mood swings Interrupting in conversations, speaking without considering consequences Hot tempered Need for high stimulus www.onthemindsofmoms.com

mental vs. physical disorganization For women struggling with this disorder, disorganization is common and often a serious problem. They may be unable to organize their homes, offices, or lives. To outsiders, this disorganization is not always visible. Women who lead professional lives may have assistants, secretaries, and cleaning services to assist them. Some may have a partner who compensates for their organizational dysfunction. Those without such assistance may have such clutter and disarray that others wonder how she manages.

symptoms of ADD

Forgetfulness Low tolerance for frustration Tendency toward substance abuse

february • march twenty nineteen | on the minds of moms

gettin’ through it shifting attention, may lead to over organizing to the point it engulfs one's life. hyperactivity vs. hypoactivity Women with ADD can be at either end of the spectrum, either hyperactive or hypoactive (underactive). Hyperactive women may go at full speed until they crash from the overload. Family life can also suffer with a hyperactive mother. She may be unable to sit and play games or read to her children unless she finds the activities stimulating. If a hyperactive mom does manage to sit for an activity, she may fidget or feel anxious. Many women with ADD are at the other extreme. They’re hypoactive, unable to muster the energy to do much of anything. These women are often unable to keep up with life’s many demands such as maintaining a home, participating in family activities, staying in touch with friends, even holding down a job. This symptom is often perceived as laziness by outsiders and even family who may not understand. This misperception creates problems for the hypoactive woman and affects her self-esteem. inattention vs. hyperfocusing Women with ADD struggle with the inability to regulate attention. This doesn’t mean they can never maintain attention. The ability to focus for most with ADD is based on interest and whether the activity is stimulating. Many women daydreamed through school. Yet the subjects or activities they found fun and interesting didn’t pose such a problem. Adult life may be the same.

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Hyperfocusing, the opposite of inattention, also poses problems and can coexist with symptoms of inattention. While it may be difficult to focus on some things, a woman may hyperfocus on that which interests her and be unable to shift. Hyperfocusing can last for hours, days, and longer and makes it difficult to break for important matters. Meals are forgotten. Family members may carry on conversations and not be heard. Hyperfocusing puts a strain on the family. If a hyperfocused woman does manage to pull away, she may wander aimlessly and forget what she is doing. impatience and impulsivity Standing in lines, sitting in waiting rooms, and being placed on hold for lengthy waits drives some women with ADD to the brink, so they may avoid these situations altogether. These women may be impatient either visibly or internally or act impulsively. Minor nuisances can cause major agitation. Other women with this disorder are able to maintain their composure yet still feel anxious and annoyed. Women with ADD may also be impatient about life and events. She may plan her whole education or life in one day and need for it to happen immediately. She goes into things full swing rather than step-by-step. This can result in a change of heart after much investment or feeling spread too thin with too many goals to achieve. Impulsiveness is seen when women with the disorder act or speak without thinking. This often leads to trouble by spending impulsively or jumping into relationships and even marriage. Some struggle socially and interrupt conversations or blurt things out they later regret.

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on the minds of moms | february • march twenty nineteen

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gettin’ through it mood Mood swings, being overemotional, or easily frustrated is another problem. For some women, having ADD is like being on an emotional roller coaster. Extreme shifts in mood sometimes lead to a misdiagnosis of bipolar disorder, though the two can coexist. Women with ADD are frustrated by the slightest aggravations. A simple mistake seems a major ordeal and may result in anger, storming off, and dropping a task altogether. If interrupted in the midst of something, a woman may become irritable and annoyed.

research indicates that add is a neurobiological disorder with a strong genetic link

Misdiagnosis Studies show the incidence of ADD in men and women are nearly identical, says Kathleen Nadeau, Ph.D., co-author of Understanding Women with AD/HD. The most common reasons that women with ADD don’t receive the diagnosis, she explains, include the following: • Their doctor diagnoses the depression that often accompanies ADD, but misses the ADD itself. Women, more often than men, have coexisting anxiety and depression that must be treated as well. • Women who are more hyperactive, hypertalkative, and impulsive may be misdiagnosed with Bipolar Disorder. • Many doctors still look for ADD signs typical of boys and don’t understand that ADD symptoms in females may not appear until puberty or later due to hormonal fluctuations. When girls enter puberty, during PMS, and as estrogen levels drop in perimenopause and menopause, the symptoms of ADD often worsen. • Girls tend to try harder in school, so their ADD patterns are masked or overlooked by teachers.

Depression, although not a symptom of ADD, often coexists or is a result of the debilitating disorder. Depression in the ADD woman may stem from lack of self worth because she is unable to hold down a job or adequately care for her family. It may result from not achieving up to her potential because of attention problems in school or an inability to stick with anything. It also sometimes comes from feeling overwhelmed, a feeling that can dominate the life of a woman with this disorder.

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the cause of add Research indicates that ADD is a neurobiological disorder with a strong genetic link. According to the nonprofit organization Children and Adults with Attention DeficitHyperactivity Disorder (CHADD), complications during pregnancy, labor, and delivery, exposure to nicotine or alcohol during fetal development, or a number of other environmental factors may also play a role in the development of ADD.

february • march twenty nineteen | on the minds of moms

gettin’ through it treatment options Several treatments are available for ADD. The most effective is prescription medication. A multitude of stimulant and nonstimulant medications are available.

where to find help An accurate diagnosis and appropriate treatment is important to reducing symptoms so finding a qualified provider is essential.

Behavioral therapy is also beneficial both for coming to terms with the lifelong disorder and to relieve negative coping behaviors. Coaching is useful for learning new skills and strategies for structuring life. Because ADD is neurobiological, therapy and coaching work best in conjunction with medication.

before spending much time in

Several ineffective treatments are being marketed as well. Treatments that are suspect, according to CHADD, include dietary plans such as the Feingold Diet, vitamin and mineral supplements, anti motionsickness medication, Candida yeast, EEG Biofeedback, Applied Kinesiology also known as Neural Organization Technique, and Optometric Vision Training, to name a few. Often, excessive claims are made about these treatments, citing a few favorable responses or studies that don’t hold up to scrutiny.

the diagnosis and treatment process, compile a list of questions to ask the provider to ensure he or she has a clear understanding of the disorder

Kindergarten Registration Registration for Fall 2019 opens online February 1, 2019 at:

www.fargo.k12.nd.us/registration

Registration is a two-step process: O

OO LS

FA R G

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STEP ONE: Complete registration at home online anytime or at computer kiosks in the office at each Fargo Public elementary school building on the following dates and times: February 25, 27, March 1– 7:30 a.m. to 4:00 p.m. February 26, 28, March 4 – 7:30 a.m. to 6:00 p.m.

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STEP TWO: Families MUST bring their child’s certified birth certificate, child’s current immunization record, and a document (i.e. current city utility bill or bank statement) that includes parent/guardian name and address to verify the correct neighborhood school.

Child must be age 5 by July 31, 2019 to attend school in the fall. If do not know which school your child will attend, call 701.446.1043 or check online at www.fargo.k12.nd.us/boundarymaps

on the minds of moms | february • march twenty nineteen

gettin’ through it Before seeking a diagnosis, read recommended books for a better understanding of the disorder and the diagnosis and treatment process. Women with ADD are often misdiagnosed or the severity of their complaints is dismissed. Having a better understanding of the disorder will help in finding a qualified, knowledgeable provider. Before spending much time in the diagnosis and treatment process, compile a list of questions to ask the

provider to ensure he or she has a clear understanding of the disorder and appropriate treatments. If you don’t feel comfortable with a physician’s responses, seek help elsewhere. Kimberly Blaker is a freelance writer and the author of a kid's STEM book, Horoscopes: Reality or Trickery? containing fun experiments to help kids understand the scientific method and develop critical thinking skills.

recommended books on ADD • Women with Attention Deficit Disorder: Embrace Your Differences and Transform Your Life (2012) by Sari Solden, MS, MFCC

• Attention Deficit Disorder in Adults 4th edition: A Different Way of Thinking (2005) by Lynn Weiss, Ph.D.

• Help for Women with ADHD: My Simple Strategies for Conquering Chaos (2017) by Joan Wilder

• Attention Deficit Disorder in Adults Workbook (2012) by Lynn Weiss, Ph. D.

• Journeys Through ADDulthood: Discover a New Sense of Identity and Meaning While Living with Attention Deficit Disorder (2004) by Sari Solden, MS, MFCC

• You Mean I’m Not Lazy, Stupid or Crazy?! The Classic Self-Help Book for Adults with Attention Deficit Disorder (2009) by Kate Kelly and Peggy Ramundo

• Driven to Distraction: Recognizing and Coping with Attention Deficit Disorder (2011) by Edward M. Hallowell, M.D. and John J. Ratey, M.D.

• The Queen of Distraction: How Women with ADHD Can Conquer Chaos, Find Focus, and Get More Done (2014) by Terry Matlen M.S.W.

• Delivered from Distraction : Getting the Most out of Life with Attention Deficit Disorder (2009) by Edward M. Hallowell, M.D. and John J. Ratey, M.D.

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february • march twenty nineteen | on the minds of moms

just a thought

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e y m i a t d a e t n o a 28

on the minds of moms | february • march twenty nineteen

just a thought story by | kathleen wrigley

eal-life mysteries are for the birds. Yet writers and producers make a killing [pun intended] on crime thrillers and psychological mystery movies and novels. Humans are drawn to the adventure of obscurity and uncertainty. I remember being in high school and craving bedtime, where I lay under the protective covers until the wee hours of the night feeding my insatiable appetite to be scared half out of my wits reading Steven King novels. We spend an insane amount of money to sit on the edge of our recliner seats—wide-eyed, heart-pumping—watching cryptic, suspenseful movies at theatres. But in real life, unless you’re a Navy Seal or a secret agent, most of us prefer predictability and reliability. We rely on answers and authenticity. Unknowns frighten us and are certain to paralyze us if we live with expectation of certainties. It is a gift and maybe even an art to live in the present without worrying about what may or may not be looming around the corner, waiting to shake us to our core, bring us to our knees. My mom constantly reminds me to live like Uncle Bob, a decades-long recovering alcoholic and a faithful, beautiful human being. Sobriety was a daily choice for Uncle Bob. He knew he had to live in the present reality with certainty in knowing that every day is a new day, a fresh start. He did not envision sobriety a year, or 30 years, ahead. Years ago I watched Uncle Bob take his last earthly breath. He died peacefully, after a valiant battle with cancer, because he lived peacefully. His legacy is how he survived and thrived by taking one

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We don’t have to look too far in either direction to see evidence of people around us living this way. This fall our family attended the funeral of a 16-year-old child, Caleigh, whom I taught in Sunday School and have kept in tight contact with through the years. Caleigh was eight when she was diagnosed with a brain tumor. We watched this child and her family live to their fullest potential every single moment of every day. They hungered for answers but knew that trying to unravel the mystery of the whys and hows of her illness would waste precious time. She fought hard. She also lit up any room she entered. There were Facebook posts of Caleigh in her last days, singing from her hospital bed. Her light shone regardless of how scared and sick and sad she felt. In the same way, our community has watched 17- yearold Hunter Seifert and his family live in the reality, and not the mystery, of his cancer diagnosis for three years. Hunter is a junior at Shiloh Christian. All three of his siblings attend Shiloh, and both of his parents are teachers at Shiloh. Hunter’s mom is our youngest daughter, Harper’s, fifth-grade teacher, and his dad teaches our two high schoolers. We pray daily for this boy’s healing. Our entire school watches this family show up, every day, living their reality. I have stood at the end of a hallway, watching through tears, as Hunter used crutches to walk to his classes because the chemotherapy drugs made his legs too weak to hold him. He shows up and will not allow the mystery of this illness to prevent him from living a substantive and purposeful life. I watch this family in awe. Each of these warrior kids and their families show us how to live in the present. I mentioned our ten-year-old daughter, Harper. Doctors have called her “a mystery” after a battery of clear and normal brain scans and tests. Let me begin with the punchline: she is fine. On August 30 2018, hundreds of people boarded a Delta airplane in Bismarck for a 5:00 a.m. departure. Twenty minutes into the short, quiet, dark flight to Minneapolis, I could feel Harper’s body go rigid and stretch out. She was lying across my lap, asleep. Seconds later, she began to shake. She was in a full-blown, first-time-ever seizure, and I was in full-blown panic. I screamed for help. My husband, Drew, and our two other children, february • march twenty nineteen | on the minds of moms

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day at a time and not allowing the uncertainties of life overwhelm him and stop him from living.

just a thought Quinn and Patrick, were scattered about the plane. I could hear Drew calling out through the darkness for medical help while I held her. Passengers prayed out loud. A Bismarck pediatrician, Dr. Kathy Anderson, happened to be traveling with her three children, and assisted immediately. When Harper started turning blue and was unresponsive—unbeknownst to us at the time, but apparently not an unnatural occurrence during a seizure—this hero mom breathed in Harper’s mouth to jumpstart her body. We were trapped in a metal tube 30,000 feet in the air. It was, by far, the most terrifying experience of our lives as parents. The Delta crew and passengers remained calm and supportive. The pilots got the go-ahead to make an emergency landing, or at the least a quick one, without alarm or panic. The flight attendants were so caring and kind. They kept the entire cabin of passengers composed. The Delta crew was unbelievable, and we will never forget them. The pilots landed the plane safely and the emergency EMT and fire rescue were waiting to assist on the ground. By the time the plane landed Harper was alert and scared. She insisted on walking off the plane, with our assistance, to the EMTs waiting for her. We spent the morning and early afternoon in the Minneapolis Children’s Hospital, where she was examined by three different doctors. Hours later, they cleared her to continue with our travels, which seemed utterly abnormal and mystifying to us. I preferred to bubble wrap her and drive seven hours back to our home in Bismarck. Instead we shouldered on and had a memorable, family-filled weekend visiting and touring Penn State.

Rarely do we pray for no answers, right? Humans want solutions. We yearn to know the whys and the hows. I desperately prayed for no answers, because the answers seemed too much to bear. Back in Bismarck Harper bravely withstood a brain MRI with contrast and an EEG, among other neurological testing. All tests indicate that our Harper has a normal and healthy brain. She has had no further seizures or scares since that August 30th, 2018, 5:00 a.m. flight. She slept on our bedroom floor for months. She’s afraid of having another seizure in her sleep and being alone. And, I can’t blame her. I have only just recently slept through an entire night, without getting up to check on her and pray over her. We are slowly transitioning her back to her bedroom, one day/sleep at a time. The doctors have called Harper a “mystery.” But what is very clear and evident is the love and protection and prayers we felt by the Delta flight crew, the passenger pediatrician [a/k/a my new best friend], and the passengers on-board flight No. 1870. We will never forget how these kind and calm professionals helped our baby girl and our family. It’s also not a mystery to see the evidence of how good and kind people are in times of hardship. I have long since outgrown my enthusiasm for mysterious novels. I awake every day choosing to live, faithfully, moment by moment, like Uncle Bob, Caleigh, Hunter and their families do, to not look too far into the unknowns of tomorrow, but to show up for this life and to resolve to be my best, one day at a time.

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did you know

north dakota reading corps: benefiting students & tutors

story by | otmom

www.onthemindsofmoms.com

year of service in exchange for a stipend and education award. Tutors come from all walks of life, this year many of them are parents, retirees, or college students.

ince 2010, ND Reading Corps has combined the power of national service through AmeriCorps with literacy science to help struggling readers transform into confident “Most are looking for something part-time as they serve three or four hours a day on days school is in session,” students. “The program partners with school districts Jolene says. “Many don’t have experience working in to place trained tutors in schools to work one-on-one during the school day with Kindergarten through third education but are interested in making an impact in grade students who are scoring below their grade level their community and we provide the needed training in reading,” Jolene Garty, Director of Student Services, to prepare them to deliver the required strategies to ND Reading Corps, says. “With support from district help students become better readers.” staff, tutors work with students 20 minutes a day, five “I have three kids and have been a stay at home mom days a week using research-based literacy interventions for 18 years,” Solveig Overturf, first year ND Reading until students graduate from the program.” Corps tutor at Bennett Elementary in Fargo, says. “I have had some part time jobs along the way but being a ND Reading Corps offers benefits to students and tutors mom has always been my focus. This year my youngest alike. Here is how ND Reading Corps can help your young started kindergarten and it was time for me to start reader and how you can be a part of ND Reading Corps. back to work. I wanted something that would allow qualifying students me to be home before and after school for my kids. ND Like other reading services in schools, students qualify Reading Corps’ schedule has been a perfect fit for me for Reading Corps based on their reading scores. ND and my family.” Reading Corps works with students scoring below proficiency, but not low enough to receive additional Solveig also had a personal connection to ND Reading Corps. “My oldest daughter struggled with reading. reading support that the district has. “Our goal is to catch these students before the gap is so big that they She was fortunate enough to be in ND Reading Corps,” Solveig explains. “She just needed that one on one need more intensive help,” Jolene explains. support and encouragement. She has since become ND Reading Corps is currently in the Fargo, Jamestown, an avid reader and reading is one of her favorite past West Fargo, Northern Cass, Bismarck, Kidder County, times. She still talks about how much her tutor helped and Carson school districts. Additional school districts her. I saw firsthand how important this program is and in the state can elect to partner with ND Reading Corps I am so grateful to have the opportunity to help my to host the program in their elementary schools. students find a love for reading.” the tutors ND Reading Corps tutors are part of AmeriCorps, a national service program where individuals commit to a 32

on the minds of moms | february • march twenty nineteen

Jackie Knodle, a former Physical Therapist, turned stay-at-home mom the past seven years, found herself

did you know in the same place as Solveig as she looked to get back the results into the workforce when her youngest child starting With over 5,000 students served, ND Reading Corps school. “It was important to me that whatever I chose to helps close the achievement gap and moves children do was a good fit for my family's schedule,” the second- from “learning to read” to “reading to learn.” Last year, year tutor at Brooks Harbor Elementary in West Fargo 77% of students who completed service with Reading explains. “ND Reading Corps was a perfect fit in that Corps had above target growth rates and were catching regard. Even better though, it incorporated something up to their grade level targets. I have always personally been very passionate about, While Solveig, Jackie, and Sandy see the statistical literacy and reading. As a parent, I have always felt improvements in their students, they see even more strongly about the importance of literacy and having in their students…and themselves. strong foundational reading skills. To be able to help students develop these skills while serving as a Reading “I love seeing the progress each student makes,” Solveig Corps tutor was a great opportunity.” says. “Their confidence starts to shine and their reading begins to soar. It is so exciting when a student reaches Sandy Conroy worked in a psychiatric care unit for their goals. Each student is unique and discovering how almost 25 years prior to retiring and becoming a Readings to support each one is so rewarding.” Corps tutor at Legacy Elementary in West Fargo this school year. “Becoming a Reading Corps tutor has been Jackie agrees with Solveig’s comments. “It is amaza good fit for me. I like how it provides me with a way to ing to see their reading skills and especially their give back to my community by working with children!” confidence grow. I also love to see students' feelings towards reading change. Seeing a student who once become a tutor disliked reading, develop a love for reading is priceless. Tutors serve three or four hours a day at one school Serving as a ND Reading Corps tutor has been a great throughout the school year. They work with a caseload opportunity for me to regain confidence in my skills of students each day for 20 minutes on specific literacy and develop new skill sets after being away from the skills that need improvement including letter names, workforce for a while. The ND Reading Corps staff are letter sounds, blending sounds into words, comprehension, very supportive and encouraging and it has been a and expression. Tutors receive support from a coach great experience for me.” at their school and the Reading Corps Master Coach who is a literacy expert. “It’s very rewarding,” Sandy says of her work. “I love to see the smiles on the faces of children as they learn “We are fortunate to have so many wonderful tutors who to become good readers!” are great at encouraging and motivating the students they work with,” Jolene says. “ND Reading Corps provides all of the training on the literacy strategies we use and has multiple layers of coaching support so experience working with kids and an interest in making a difference are two of the most important qualities our tutors have, we can help take care of the rest!”

“I have been so impressed with the wonderful training provided for this program,” Solveig says. “The guidance and assistance from my fellow tutor, internal coach, master coach and ND Reading Corps has been fantastic and so appreciated.”

ND Reading Corps is successful through their partnerships with school districts and through support by funders like AmeriCorps, United Way of Cass Clay, and the Otto Bremer Trust.

february • march twenty nineteen | on the minds of moms

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Each spring Reading Corps begin accepting application for tutors for the upcoming school year through their website: www.ndreadingcorps.org. Interviews are completed at the host school and selections are made in time for a three-day training in August.

lindsay opp

story by | sheri kleinsasser stockmoe

hey’d known each other a long time, but had only been dating a few months as they lay on his apartment floor dreaming of the future.

“So, what do you wanna do?” he asked his girlfriend. “What are your goals?" She thought for a bit and replied, “You know what, I would really love to be an art teacher." She held her breath waiting for his response. Did it sound nuts? I mean it was a dream, not like she thought it would happen, right? "Well, what's stopping you?" he asked without an ounce of disbelief in it being possible. All the things in her life she looked at as roadblocks were still there, but was it really possible? Could it be more than a dream? What was stopping her?

dreams to reality photos: ten little chickens photography | renee clasen

dreams to reality “Having him has been amazing,” Lindsay Opp says of her five-year-old son Raiden. “But the whole journey of having him, with his father and everything, was not a good thing.”

“He is the most caring, charismatic, hardworking, talented, lovable person,” Lindsay says about her now husband of a year and a half. “Looking back there were all these little nuggets that lead us to where we are today.”

Lindsay was nineteen when she found out she was pregnant. “We were high school sweethearts, together for four years,” she shares about Raiden’s birth dad. “Basically, he got really into drinking and drugs after high school.”

fear aside Lindsay remembers the spark in her that was lit during the conversation with Christian as they lay on his apartment floor dreaming of the future. Sure, she always thought being an art teacher would be the best job, but as soon as she said it, she let the excuses flood in.

And he became abusive. But leaving wasn’t easy. “He just had this hold on me, that’s hard to explain. It was “I had applied for college before, and then on the very hard,” Lindsay says. She tried leaving several times registration date I chickened out,” she says. “I guess I but returned on promises of change and the desire to had this idea of college that it's hard, it's expensive and make it work for Raiden. But things only got worse. you're going to get yourself into a lot of debt.” “Things got so bad and I knew I didn’t want this to be “I'm a young mom. Where would I find the time? Who my son's role model." would watch Raiden?” Lindsay remembers rebutting. “It's hard,” Lindsay continued. “I didn’t want to break up “We'll make it work," Christian assured Lindsay. my family. But at the end of the day, if that person isn't a good role model for your child, why stay?” Lindsay was always drawn to the arts, whether it be moving forward “I moved back home and was working at Subway as the assistant manager just trying to work full-time to be able to support Raiden,” Lindsay shares. And then she started dating Christian.

participating in dance for twelve years or tagging along to work with her mom as a young girl and drawing to pass the time. Art has been important to Lindsay.

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“Every aspect of the arts, I just adored,” she says. “I was always one of those kids in school where the art room was my home. Like, if I didn't have anyone to sit with at “We've known each other since middle school,” Lindsay lunch, the art room was where I went to eat lunch and says with a smile. “We've always been friends of friends, I would just do my thing in there. The art room was my but we were never really close or anything.” safe place and I want to offer that safe place to kids.” As friends gathered to celebrate Lindsay’s twentieth The more they thought about it and the more Christian birthday, Christian attended too. “We really hit it off encouraged her, Lindsay decided to follow her dream and and things went great from there,” Lindsay says. applied for college. She was accepted at Minnesota State Christian says Lindsay is a friendly, fun person who is University Moorhead [MSUM] and this time she wasn’t “contagious to be around,” he adds with a smile. backing out. She had the support and encouragement. “I had just graduated from Mstate, started work as an “When I first met Lindsay, I immediately saw tremendous Electrician full-time the week I graduated school, and opportunity ahead for her that she didn’t see for herself,” that same month I started dating Lindsay,” Christian says Caryn Neary, Christian’s mother. “When she spoke says. “When Lindsay and I started dating, some people of becoming an art teacher, I right away remembered my in my life defiantly turned their heads at me consider- childhood where art was the most favored and peaceful ing I was 19 and Raiden was a month shy of his first period of the school week. It showed me as a child that birthday, and Lindsay was a mother at 20. Trading a I can create something of value that is a representation lifestyle that could be the single life or party life for a of who I am and that it’s OK to be who I am, no matter family life, that young, to some people seemed like a what the outcome of the art work was or what others very bad idea.” thought of it. My art teachers and mother always received my projects with praise and encouragement But it seemed right to Lindsay and Christian and the to express myself which produced a very confident couple didn’t look back. feeling inside that I carry today. If someone believes 36

on the minds of moms | february • march twenty nineteen

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february • march twenty nineteen | on the minds of moms

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dreams to reality

on the minds of moms | february • march twenty nineteen

lessons from her dreams greatest to reality race

in who you are and accepts you for who you are, there is nothing stopping you from becoming successful in whatever you do.” “I was so nervous,” Lindsay recalls of her first days on the MSUM campus. “MSUM isn't that big of a campus, but it's bigger than what I was used to!” There were times it was tough but the support she had from those around her was invaluable. “Christian has definitely been my cheerleader and there to watch Raiden through the long nights when I was gone in the art studio or writing a paper. And Caryn, without her, I wouldn't have been able to do it. She watched Raiden the entire time I went to school. She's so supportive, such an encourager.”

starting, Lindsay received her degree. “It felt really good,” she says with a smile. “As long as you have a really strong support system I think anything's possible. You're going to feel guilty and you're going to feel like, at times, it's easier to just give up, but don't. You'll get through it. And don't feel guilty, because in the long run, that sacrifice that you're making is bettering your life and your child's life. So, in the end, it's worth it.” “If you apply yourself daily to your cause or goal, you will succeed most when you humble yourself and seek knowledge from other positive influences or sources that will assist you with achieving your goals,” Caryn says. “It takes a team to win a football game. It also takes a team to raise children and graduate from college. Without parents, teachers, and friends who support and cheer us on, we will lose hope quickly and give up. When you have those cheerleaders on the sidelines, telling you that you can do it, it produces the hope and encouragement to endure and persevere.”

february • march twenty nineteen | on the minds of moms

www.onthemindsofmoms.com

“I knew Lindsay had a lot to offer people in life and since I was in love with her, I wanted her to reach her full potential,” Christian says. “I had a very positive experience in the Fargo public school system growing always her priority up and I had a lot of excellent teachers who shaped me into the person I am today. I completely felt like “She provides a safe and secure environment for her son and the children she teaches. She also puts her her becoming a teacher was what she was meant to son first instead of putting her own needs first,” Caryn do, and I felt there are generations of kids out there who will be better off having her as their art teacher.” shares of her daughter in-law. “The first thing a parent needs to learn is how to teach a child, as a child isn’t Caryn also sees the profession Lindsay has chosen born with the knowledge to survive or take care of perfectly aligning with her. “Many of us do the same themselves. They watch us each day and Lindsay has things every day and we tire of it quickly because we been a successful mother because she provides her are not expressing who we are or our inner passion. son the love and time that children need to be healthy, If you look deep inside, there is a passion inside us both physically and mentally.” all. Lindsay will be successful in teaching art because she is passionate about it. She’s a good role model to “In the beginning, I wanted him to still have a relationship with his. But you know, he just proved himself to not follow as many of us are collecting a paycheck at a job be able to handle it,” Lindsay says of Raiden’s birth we don’t like instead of picking a career where our gifts dad. “I'm gonna try with you, but you need to meet and talents can meld alongside our passions.” me halfway, and if you can't handle this, then I'm not Her course work and student teaching experience only gonna try with you.” solidified that her dream of being an art teacher was meant to be. December 2018, four and a half years after

dreams to reality

And when Christian began dating Lindsay he knew he wasn’t just dating her.

I was going to be in his life, I wanted to prioritize his needs above my own, and her own.”

“Raiden has always been a blessing to everyone that has met him, and it was a privilege then and is a privilege now to spend time with him,” Christian says. “I always viewed them, since the beginning, as a package deal. I have always had a family attitude towards them.”

May 2017, Lindsay and Christian got married. February 2018, Christian adopted Raiden. “When I adopted Raiden, I felt very content and over joyed to have the law recognize how I have felt for a very long time about my son. My family and friends also adopted Raiden into their hearts as their family for many years now, and it felt like a victory for all of us to have that happen. Having the law protect the rights of our family was a gift.”

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That family attitude is important to Christian. He has personal history to fall back on.

“I feel like people often view children as an extension of levels of success themselves and their own legacy, and therefore really Looking into the future, Lindsay sees herself teaching struggle with the idea of loving a child as their own high school art. “When I was at Sheyenne High School that isn't biologically theirs,” Christian says. “I was the student teaching, I woke up every day just pumped.” only boy in my High School who took child development She loved the energy of the students and being able to class, who didn't have a child, and have always wanted to have kids. I have always viewed kids as a child of connect through art and her personal experiences. “I God before they were a child of their parents, and thus think students have this idea in their head that teachers I have never ruled out the idea of being open minded are perfect, that they did everything the right way,” to dating a single mom. My dad passed away when I Lindsay says. “And from me having to go through harder was ten, and my mom married my stepdad Jim when circumstances, it's a lot easier for me to relate to kids dealing with hardship and trauma of some sort. I can I was 13. The difference Jim has made in my life is immeasurable. I was so much better off for having him relate. Life isn't always fair. But it's you that makes the as a Father in my teenage years. I could of very well decision of what you do with it. You either make it a ended up dead or in prison if it wasn't for him. Jim's crutch or you use it to push you forward.” biological father also stepped out of his life at a very To say Christian is proud of his wife is an understatement. early age and was absent most of his life. His mom He is proud and grateful of what his wife’s experience married my grandpa Al when he was at a similar age has offered their son. “Striving to be successful and to when he came into my life and became a fantastic obtaining a college education despite being in a situation father figure to him. Raiden has as strong of a Father/ that would make it seem like that wasn't possible, was Son lineage as anyone could hope for. For one reason or setting the example for our son,” Christian acknowledges. another, he is the third son to be adopted in this lineage “Children typically don't listen as much as they imitate. of boys with single Mom's and absent Fathers. Going It is a lot easier to tell people they should take risks into the relationship, I knew the dynamic would not and make hard decisions because it will pay off in work unless I loved her child, I hate to say it like this, the long run than it is actually being in that situation but almost more than her. Parents need to prioritize and showing grace and perseverance despite having their children's needs above their own needs, and if self-doubt.”

on the minds of moms | february • march twenty nineteen

dreams to reality

www.onthemindsofmoms.com

february • march twenty nineteen | on the minds of moms

ready, set, grow

story by | sheri kleinsasser stockmoe

ave you ever had one of those days [maybe weeks or months] where you just had to scratch your head? It doesn’t make sense, you didn’t plan for it, and you sure as heck never asked for it! But there it is staring you right in the face, taunting you, “come on, mama… are you woman enough to handle this?” Oh, yeah you got this, but that doesn’t mean you don’t want to still scream at the top of your lungs, “You did what!?”

you did what!?!?

ready, set, grow

on average, poop is 75% water and 25% solid matter

wee ones [0–18 months]

our little exploring Indiana Jones is ready for adventure and you do your best to clean, sanitize and protect. A shriek of terror is the only reasonable response when your wee one comes around the corner looking like he just devoured a Hersey bar, but you know…that’s not chocolate!!!

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that aint food Once our wee ones are able to coordinate grabbing objects, they immediately make their way to his mouth. This is completely normal as he is simply exploring and learning. His mouth has many more nerve endings per square millimeter than any other part of his body. And he can control his mouth and lips much sooner than

on the minds of moms | february • march twenty nineteen

the fine motor skills needed for in-depth evaluation of objects with his hands. With his mouth he can learn such things as the texture, taste, shape, and temperature of objects. So, since it’s inevitable he is going to put things in his mouth, it’s your first responsibility is to make sure your home is as safe as possible and you evaluate any and all choking and dangerous items. But as diligent as you are to create a safe place, something unsavory, that should not…repeat…should not ever, ever make its way to the food hole will…like #2! If your wee one does a little taste test on his own diaper surprise [excuse me I just threw-up a little in my mouth], remember: • relax As gross as it is, the odds are in your wee one’s favor that he will grow up without any ill effects from his poop escapades. So don’t get crazy. Start by getting him cleaned up with soap and water and do your best to rinse out his mouth. Then you want to try to prevent such activity from happening again. Make sure his diaper fits correctly and if he likes to weasel his way out of his diaper at nap time or during the night, consider slapping on a onesie and see if the little Houdini can get out of that. • hello doc Again, your wee one shouldn’t have any problems, but it is poop! If he develops a fever, stomach pain or diarrhea in the days or weeks to follow, call your physician. Lastly, any time your child eats something they shouldn’t, don’t hesitate to contact poison control [800.222.1222] for their guidance

1 in 5 children will bite and around half will hit at some point in their tot years

ready, set, grow

tots

[18 months–3 years]

our cute little tot is becoming so self sufficient. He can express what he wants and what he doesn’t want or like. Of course the “what he doesn’t want or like” expression isn’t always expressed constructively. If you have ever taken a swift backhand from your tot you know he can pack a wallop! Behavior issue or next budding Muhammad Ali?

Be patient. Getting your tot to stop hitting won’t happen overnight, but remain consistent. And lastly, make sure you are a good model of appropriate behavior. It can be very frustrating and embarrassing when your tot hits another child, adult, or you. Remain calm and address the situation in a firm manner.

Ages 6 weeksrs a e y 4 1

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jab, cross, uppercut A tot that likes to hit can be very frustrating, but it isn’t uncommon. Our tots are still mastering the art of communication and using his hands to throw, push, and hit allow him to express what he can’t do verbally. So normal, yes, but that doesn’t mean it is behavior that you can just ignore. Here are some tips to help curb your tot’s desire to hit: • buck stops here Take action right way when the hitting happens. Ignoring it can signal it’s OK to hit. • no eye for an eye If hitting is what you are trying to stop, then why would you spank? Spanking says it’s OK to resolve a situation using your hands. Stay away from it. • is this what you mean There are times your tot will be simply trying to get your attention. Tell him “we don’t hit” and show him how to ask for help or what it is he wants. If he is hitting out of anger or frustration, give him the words to express those feelings. • now, not then Pay close attention to when your tot hits. Are there any triggers? Is he tired or hungry?

Is he in a large group or not? Finding the situations that prompt him to hit can allow you to address the behavior more effectively. • outa here When he does hit, remove him from the situation right away. Tell him, “No hitting. Hitting hurts.”

ready, set, grow

did you know your nose and ears continue growing throughout your entire life?

preschoolers [3–5 years]

sn’t your preschooler so smart? ABCs, animal sounds, and days of the week are no match for your Brainiac. And he is such an investigator, learning all the time. And many of life’s puzzling questions turn into real life experiments like, “I wonder if this pea would fit in my nose?”

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yep, it fits As funny as some situations can be, lodged items in your preschooler’s nose or ear are a serious problem. Infections and long-term damage can occur. You want to address the situation right away, but you also don’t want to make things worse. Here are some first aid tips for when items make their way into small preschooler

Moving Forward Together

Early Childhood Family Education Probstfield Center for Education 2410 14th St. S., Moorhead

on the minds of moms | february • march twenty nineteen

orifices they have no business being in: • really First, remain calm. Like every other situation you can think of, if you freak out, your preschooler is going to follow right along. Keep it under control. • get it If you can see the object and your preschooler is calm enough to sit still, you can try to remove it. Do not use a sharp object or cotton swab. You don’t want to push the object further in the ear or nose or cause more damage. For items in the ear, have your preschooler tilt his head to the side the object is on and while gently pulling his ear up and out, have him shake his head [again, gently]. Gravity may be enough to get the object out. For items in the nose, you can start with trying to blow it out while applying pressure to the unaffected nostril. For both the ear and nose, if the object is close to the surface and easily seen, you can try to get it with a blunt tweezer. But again, be extremely careful so you do not push it in further. • you’re never going to believe it doc Vegetables, popcorn kernels, marbles, toys, candy…your doc has probably heard it all. If you aren’t able to remove the object or there are signs of other damage [bleeding, foul odor, hearing loss, tenderness] head to your trusted physician for extraction.

more than 51 million school hours are lost each year due to dental-related issues

ready, set, grow

big kids [6–9 years]

ig kids are going to run. They’re going to jump. And they are going to crash and burn! Cross your fingers they quickly learn the life saving technique called the tuck-n-roll before becoming the spitting image of an all-star hockey player sporting a toothless grin!

Experience Oak Grove! FALL ENROLLMENT IS OPEN

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tooth for tat As the mama, we are the booboo fixer. Someone gets hurt? You find [da-da-ta-da] The Mom! Now, I don’t know about you, but I can handle pretty much any low level 911 event my kiddos can throw at me, but tooth injuries freak me out. Have you ever chipped a tooth and felt the searing pain of cold air hitting it? Makes me clinch my jaw just thinking about it! So, what do you do when one of those pearly whites is in trouble? Never fear The Mom is here: • just a ding If your big kid chips a tooth and it isn’t really bothering him, you don’t need to rush to the dentist. Fixing a chip typically requires a simple cosmetic procedure. If there is pain, give your dentist a call. • crack-boom-bah Now if your big kid cracks or busts off a tooth, time for a little tooth professional time. While there are times a cracked tooth isn’t obviously seen, it can sure be felt. Pain while chewing and sensitivity to temperature can be symptoms of a crack.

• outta here Knocking out a tooth requires some quick action. Start with taking care of the missing tooth. Do NOT touch the root if possible and gently rinse it off with saline solution or milk [tap water can be used as a last resort]. Next you want to re-implant the tooth back in the socket ASAP if possible. More and more cells on the roots of the tooth die with each minute it isn’t re-implanted. So, get it back in place and have your big kid bite down on a gauze pad to keep it in the socket and head to the dentist. Can’t replant the tooth or worried your big kid will swallow it? Put the tooth in a glass of milk and make way your way to the tooth doc!

Call 701-373-7114

www.oakgrovelutheran.com

february • march twenty nineteen | on the minds of moms

ready, set, grow

a study on cheating at MIT concluded that copying homework can lead to lower grades

tweeners [10–12 years]

ure you have expectations for your tweener. Do well in school. Be kind and respectful. If you’re going to cheat, don’t get caught…wait, not so much? Good, that is the correct answer.

www.onthemindsofmoms.com

to cheat or not to cheat If you ask your tweener if cheating is wrong, he’ll say yes. But what if “everyone” is doing it? Technology has made it extremely easy for “everyone” to cheat. Sure old school cheating is alive and well, but technology can sometimes be its own worst enemy. Cell phones can take pictures of tests and then be emailed to a friend. The internet provides an opportunity to plagiarize on

virtually every topic imaginable. So, does your child really know what cheating is? Talking to your tweener about cheating is important: • aint yours If it isn’t your answer, your words or your thoughts…it isn’t yours! Cheating can seem like a victimless crime, because he isn’t hurting anyone, well except your tweener! Cheating himself is a crime. • do as I do Cheating doesn’t just happen in the classroom and it isn’t just our tweeners we need to worry about. Make sure you are modeling appropriate behavior. No lying, stealing or cheating for you too, mama! • not just help Letting a friend copy his answers on a worksheet isn’t helping. It’s cheating. Make it clear that he needs to do the work and so do his friends. • a is for effort Yes, we want our kids to be motivated and ambitious, but not at the expense of being honest and trustworthy. Pressure to get high grades can prove to be too much for your tweener. Emphasize the importance of doing his best rather than just focusing on the end grade. • do the crime If your tweener is caught cheating, don’t try to justify his actions. You want to teach him to not lie, but to be honest and accountable… even if everyone else is doing it!

Sources: www.parents.com | www.colgate.com | www.kidshealth.org www.teenhelp.com | www.parenting.com | www.washingtonpost.com www.babycenter.com

on the minds of moms | february • march twenty nineteen

in 2016, 49% of teen deaths from motor vehicle crashes occurred between 3pm and midnight and 53% occurred on Friday, Saturday, or Sunday.

ready, set, grow

teens [13–18years]

ure you’ve talked about the responsibility of being behind the wheel. Don’t speed! Look both ways! Yield to the right! No stinkin’ cell phone! But are you sure you have covered all your driving bases? God forbid they ever get in an accident, but do they know what to do then?

Stress the importance of always having his license with him as well as the current registration and proof of insurance in the vehicle. And the hardest part of being in an accident for your teen? Probably calling you! But mama’s gotta know! Let him know that after the police, you’re his next call.

www.onthemindsofmoms.com

smash…now what No one wants to think about their teen being in an accident, but better to be prepared to handle such a situation than to be a hysterical mess, babbling incoherently to mama on the phone, right? Here are some basic tips to share with your driving teen: • breath in, breath out Rule #1 in most ever situation… remain calm. Freaking out won’t help the accident go away. If possible, move your vehicle to the side of the road and turn the hazard lights on. • please don’t go Make it very clear to your teen that you DO NOT leave the scene of an accident! Things need to be resolved with the other driver and/or police. Leaving the scene of an accident is considered a hit and run and can only make a bad situation worse. Now if the accident is a mere fender bender and the other vehicle is unattended, say in a parking lot, instruct your teen that the right thing to do is to write a note including his name and number, place it on the car’s windshield and take some pictures of the damage. If your teen is in an accident where the other driver tries to leave, instruct him to do his best to get a description of the vehicle as well as the license plate number. • you ok If your teen is hurt or anyone else in the vehicle is hurt, stay put. If someone is injured they

should only be moved by medical personnel unless staying in the vehicle could create further injury. And call 911! • hello officer Calling the police is the next responsible move for your teen after an accident. They can help with any injuries as well as the accident itself. • he said she said Don’t discuss who’s fault the accident is with the other driver. Let the police handle this and write up an accident report. • nice to meet you It’s always a good idea to exchange names and phone numbers with the other driver as well as any witnesses to the accident. Also consider taking pictures of the damage.

february • march twenty nineteen | on the minds of moms

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