June/July 2017 On the Minds of Moms by on the minds of moms

june – july

twenty seventeen

the valley’s

for today’s

s e i r r e h C ! y t i r for Cha The 35th Annual Cherries for Charity Event is Coming Soon!

Cherry Almond Coffee Cake INGREDIENTS • 1/2 cup + 2 tablespoons Wild Harvest Organic Light Brown Sugar, divided • 1 tablespoon Wild Harvest Organic Ground Saigon Cinnamon • 1 (15-18 ounce) package vanilla cake mix • 1 1/2 cups Wild Harvest Organic Frozen Dark Sweet Cherries, chopped • 1 1/2 cups Wild Harvest Cherry Vanilla Granola • 1/3 cup sliced whole natural almonds DIRECTIONS In small bowl, combine ½ cup sugar, cinnamon and 1 tablespoon water; mix to combined. Set aside. Prepare cake mix according to package directions; Dollop batter with cinnamon mixture and gently fold into batter. Transfer to a greased 13x9-inch baking pan. Top with cherries. In medium bowl, combine granola, almonds and remaining 2 tablespoons sugar; sprinkle over cherries. Bake in a preheated 350°F oven 35-45 minutes or until knife inserted into center of cake comes out clean. Remove from oven; cool.

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contents

in every issue

contributors .

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 9

food for thought . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 12 event calendar . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 20 shutterbug

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 24

oh, by the way . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 40

contents

sections

gettin' through it tongue thrustâ&#x20AC;Śwhata? the correlation of your tongue and teeth position . . . . . . . . . 26

shop talk exhaustion does not have to be the mommy norm . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 30

just a thought mastering life . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 32

ready, set, grow mommy, i want a puppy! what you need to know before choosing a family pet . . . . . . 50

contents

feature & profiles mod mom profile vivian fellman . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 10

mompreneur katherine kiernanâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;sterling grace . . . . . . . . . 16

rad dad profile emerson ehlis . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 36

cover story joe flugeâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;resistance is persistence . . . . . . . 42

moms

on the minds of

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PUBLISHER DS Communication, LLC EDITORS Sheri Kleinsasser Stockmoe p: 701.306.1624 e: sheri@onthemindsofmoms.com Dani Parkos Fluge e: dani@onthemindsofmoms.com

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ADVERTISING Patty Nystrom p: 701.269.4180 e: patty@onthemindsofmoms.com Sheri Kleinsasser Stockmoe p: 701.306.1624 e: sheri@onthemindsofmoms.com

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Ria Czichotzki – rialee photography Caitlin Killoran–caitlin killoran photography Scott Thuen – thuen studios www.thuenstudios.com

AD DESIGN Casie Beldo Scott Thuen Tara Kessler Stephanie Drietz CONTACT mail: PO Box 190, Fargo, ND 58107 e: hello@onthemindsofmoms.com p: 701.297.2138 SUBSCRIPTION print www.onthemindsofmoms.com/subscribe digital issuu.com/onthemindsofmoms

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OTMOM MISSION STATEMENT On The Minds Of Moms Magazine is dedicated to providing parents of all ages a bimonthly resource they can trust. A fresh approach to traditional parenting publications, we are modern and inspiring while offering a community of local support and real-life advice for today’s family. On The Minds Of Moms contains views from across the parenting spectrum. These views do not necessarily reflect those of the publisher. All activities listed in these pages are at your own risk and require appropriate supervision. OTMOM is a publication available at all Fargo-Moorhead Hornbacher's, Family Fare, and Grand Forks–East Grand Forks Hornbacher's and Hugo's grocery store locations. Distribution also includes all partnering advertisers. Copyright 2017 All Rights Reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced without written permission from the publisher. On The Minds Of Moms is a trademark registered at the U.S. Patent and Trademark Office.

contributors

it just isn’t summer without… kathleen wrigley bismarck | nd just a thought: page 32 Our traditional trip to the New Jersey beach with my family, and lake weekends with our North Dakota family. Summer is all about family bonding.

phyllis magelky fargo | nd gettin’ through it: page 26 The birds. I talk to them and laugh at them when they fight. The hummingbirds are a special favorite because they are so territorial.

patricia carlson naples | fl ready, set, grow: page 50 Well, I live in Florida now so I enjoy an endless summer. It’s fabulous! But I would have to say that summer wouldn’t be what it is without my kiddos. I love the time I get to spend with them and the freedom we have to explore life together.

annie schlecht wimbledon | nd shop talk: page 30 My kayak. I am a fish and I love to be in or on the water.

deb uglem fargo | nd oh by the way: page 40 Family, golf, and patios. Our summer wouldn't be complete without a family throw-down badminton tournament and the August reunion. Golf is my game of choice all summer long and I can't live without some late-afternoon patio time. Since our move downtown we now refer to Rhombus Guy's rooftop as "our" patio. Bring on summer!

kari klingsporn hitterdal fargo | nd food for thought: page 12 Relaxed schedules. I put great value in time away for the whole family from the daily grind that consumes the school year. It's a healthy balance for us and I still believe in children [and adults!] finding ways to entertain themselves outside of constant planned time and activities. I know that is not a popular path to follow, but I also know we all enjoy our time together, and that's what truly matters for my family.

orn and raised in China, Vivian Fellmanâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s parents and younger sister still live in her hometown of Zunyi, China, which has a mere population of seven million! With a degree in International Trade from Tianjin Polytechnic

University, Vivian moved to Beijing, the capital city of China, in 2001. She worked in sales and marketing areas for multiple international companies, including Canon and Mercedes-Benz. While attending a birthday party a friend introduced her to Jeff, an American studying Chinese and teaching English in Beijing, and the rest is history! Vivian and Jeff have been together for 13 years, married for seven, and have two beautiful boys, Edward [3] and Patrick [1]. In addition to spending time with her family, Vivian loves to work out, sing karaoke, and shop online.

photos: caitlin killoran photographyâ&#x20AC;&#x201A; | caitlin killoran

vivian fellman age 37, fargo.nd

one word that best describes my parenting style… optimistic.

my definition of a mod mom is… intelligent and kind; able to demonstrate taking responsibility for your own behavior.

i find relaxation in… having a glass of red wine with friends.

i want my kids to experience… international life adventure. I would encourage them to travel to as many countries as they can to experience different cultures of people around the world.

mod mom

one thing i long to do again someday… travel back to Europe.

my biggest mom challenge… being patient.

time with my husband is usually spent… watching our favorite Netflix shows together.

outside of my family, i am passionate about… teaching cycling classes.

i spend “me time” by doing… online shopping, although I don’t really buy lots of stuff. Just browsing, technically.

the best part of my day… snuggling with my boys before they go to bed.

the quality i admire most in my husband… his kindness and his compassion for people.

people are always surprised to learn i… am not an American citizen. Or that my hometown city’s population is 46 times more than the population of the Fargo/Moorhead area and I still call my hometown a “small city.”

i find strength in… working out.

i can’t live without my… Chapstick!

the movie i could watch over and over again… www.onthemindsofmoms.com

Love Actually.

june • july twenty seventeen | on the minds of moms

grilled shrimp with mango salsa served with thai-style peanut sauce and steamed jasmine rice

photo: thuen studiosâ&#x20AC;&#x201A; | scott thuen

food for thought

shared by | kari klingsporn hitterdal

t’s officially grilling season! For many, standing outside enjoying a still-warm evening and tending the grill in anticipation of a delicious and carefree meal is the epitome of summer living. The ease of preparation and execution of grilling is what makes summer outdoor cooking the best! Our favorite foods to grill are things that are interesting but still easy and relaxed. Influenced by a meal we ate years ago at our all-time favorite restaurant, the former Sarello’s in Moorhead, MN, Grilled Shrimp with Mango Salsa served with Thai-style Peanut Sauce and Steamed Jasmine Rice is my husband’s most requested grilled summer meal. It has become a favorite summer dinner essential for celebrations, dinner parties, and a go-to when we are feeling the need for something tasty and quick. Don’t be intimidated by trying something new: there’s almost nothing easier or faster than grilling shrimp and chopping ingredients for salsa! We usually serve this with an easy-to-make Thai-style peanut sauce and steamed rice. The salsa and peanut sauce recipes are wonderful on shrimp, but are also awesome paired up with fish, grilled chicken, pork loin or chops, and even beef. This recipe would be a great change-up to celebrate the dads in your life and impress your husband with your mad grilling skills on Father’s Day. Happy Father’s Day to all the dads out there and cheers to grilling season!

mango salsa

thai-style peanut sauce

you need: 1 small red onion, chopped and rinsed 1/4 cup fresh lime juice 1 large ripe mango, peeled, pitted, and chopped 1 small red bell pepper, membranes and stem removed, chopped 1/4 cup cilantro, chopped 1 large clove garlic, finely minced 1/4 cup fresh or good-quality pulp-free orange juice 1 jalapeño, finely chopped [if you want less heat, remove the membranes] salt and pepper to taste

This is a mild, tasty, and easy sauce you can use as a condiment for anything grilled!

how to: Combine the red onion with the lime juice in a large non-metal bowl. Allow to sit for at least 10 minutes to deflame the onion. Add the rest of the ingredients to the onion-lime mixture. Salt and pepper to taste. Eat within 24 hours of preparation.

how to: Combine together all ingredients EXCEPT lime juice in a medium saucepan over low heat. Add 1/2 cup hot water. Whisk together well. Allow to simmer on low for about 15 minutes. Stir in lime juice. Serve warm. Store in refrigerator up to one week.

you need: 1 cup coconut milk * 1/2 cup creamy peanut butter 1 1/2 Tablespoons brown sugar 1 Tablespoon fish sauce * 1 Tablespoon soy sauce 1 Tablespoon Thai Massaman curry paste * 1 teaspoon curry powder 1 Tablespoon fresh lime juice *found at Asian markets and some grocery stores

food for thought feeding your family TIP:

grilled shrimp you need: 1 pound shrimp, completely thawed if previously frozen, preferably still in the shell. 1 Tablespoon sherry vinegar, or any vinegar 2 Tablespoons extra-virgin olive oil Salt and pepper to taste how to: Heat the grill to medium-hot. Mix together the oil and vinegar and add the shrimp, liberally seasoning with salt and pepper. Allow to sit in the oil-vinegar mixture for a few minutes. Shake off excess liquid and grill for 2 minutes directly on the grill rack for larger shrimp, or use a grill pan if using smaller shrimp. Turn shrimp over and grill on the other side for an additional 1-3 minutes, just until the shrimp become completely pink. Take them off immediately and serve with steamed jasmine rice, peanut sauce, and mango salsa. Make sure to serve with an empty plate to toss the discarded shells onto!

I get asked all the time how I didn’t end up with picky eaters. While there is no foolproof way to end up with kids who will eat almost anything, I do think there is one thing that has really worked for getting our kids to try different things: it’s all about the sauce for our family! Sauces are a good way to introduce new tastes in small doses and many children like dipping foods as well. For instance, if you know some of little Rosie’s favorite things to eat are peanut butter and chicken, encourage her to try some “Magic Peanut Butter Sauce” [aka Thai-Style Peanut Sauce] ON her chicken. This will allow her to explore new flavors without going outside of her familiar palate. If she loves it, the next time serve the peanut sauce with a meat she is not as sure about—maybe some grilled shrimp—and work your way to expanding her palate from there. It can take time and effort, but patience, persistence, and finding the tastes and textures that your little ones like are the key to exploring and expanding children’s palates. Kari's passion for food, family, and fun has been with her since her upbringing on her beloved Big Floyd Lake near Detroit Lakes, MN. She earned Secondary Education degrees in both Social Studies and English from Concordia College in Moorhead, MN. She enjoyed a brief stint as a caterer and cooking instructor, but has proudly spent most of her motherhood as a stay-at-home mom. Her husband, Brent, and three children, Gunnar, Ava, and Ella, have all [mostly] been eager taste testers to whatever is on the table for dinner. However, these days, having a high schooler, a middle schooler, and a second grader is providing new challenges of feeding everyone homemade and healthy meals, as well as giving her oven an intense workout most weeknights!

BE A PART OF THE TRADITION Enroll now for 2017-18 school year

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We are a community that inspires excellence through faith, learning, and service. 3 yr old Little Deacons - 12th Grade For information or a tour call 701-893-3271 jp2schools.org HOLY SPIRIT ELEMENTARY

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on the minds of moms | june • july twenty seventeen

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Join us this summer! $1 Hot Dog Mondays

Firework Fridays!

Check out our full promotions schedule at www.fmredhawks.com

FAMILY 4 PACK ONLY $35! 4 Reserved Tickets 4 Cloverdale Kids Meals Any Home Game Sunday through Wednesday Good for all ages! Includes hot dog, chips, and small pop Must redeem at least 1 day prior to game. Must present coupon at time of purchase. Not valid with any other offers or dicounts. Online Promo Code: MOMS. Expires 8/31/17.

1515 15th Avenue North, Fargo 701-235-6161 WWW.FMREDHAWKS.COM

“R

eal Estate was definitely NOT what I thought I would do for a career,” Katherine Kiernan confesses as she looks back at her professional career. Originally from the small southeastern Minnesota town of Wanamingo, she has

degrees in Hotel, Restaurant, and Tourism Management, as well as Business Administration and Psychology. Katherine entered the banking world in the Minneapolis area as a Personal Banker and eventually worked her way up to Branch Manager and Private Banker for high net-worth clients. Then when her daughter Eva [now 6] was just 15-months old, Katherine and her hubby Kelly received “the surprise of a lifetime” with news of the pending arrival of their twin boys, www.onthemindsofmoms.com

Jack and Owen [now 4]. With their family expanding, the Kiernans made the move to Fargo to be closer to Kelly’s family. Katherine remained in the banking industry, this time in Human Resources, but she missed the customer interaction she previously had. After some persistent nudging from a family friend, Katherine decided to give real estate a chance and “low and behold…I found what filled my professional soul!”

photos: caitlin killoran photography | caitlin killoran

on the minds of moms | june • july twenty seventeen

katherine kiernan

sterling grace, fargo.nd

what is the one quality you have that makes you a successful realtor? I care [sometimes too much, if you ask some of my peers!]. I care to the point that the regular 90-to-100-hour work weeks never bother me as long as all of our clients and employees are happy, healthy, and well taken care of. I care about the outcome for every single client I interact with. I want to see people living their best and most thriving life possible and if I can assist with that by helping them get settled in a safe and happy home then I am fulfilled!

did you have to make any professional sacrifices when you became a mom? Yes. With my three little people I want to provide the greatest example possible. They are my everything. They are the reason I run like I do in an effort to build a lasting legacy they can take on as theirs one day and build it to be everything and so much more than what I will do with my time on earth. As a

mom preneur

mom, there are still many social norms and stigmas that continue to exist. I can’t begin to tell you how many times I have been told that my career should slow down or I should work less or be home so much more. The best piece of advice I received, however, came from MSUM President Ann Blackhurst while attending United Way’s 35 Under 35 Women’s Leadership Course in 2015. She talked of the pressure she received being a single mom and having a son to raise but having such incredible professional goals. Ann stated, “To give up my professional pursuits and dreams to accommodate the stereotype expectations of what a mom should be would have made me less of a mom because that would have made me less of a person. My professional pursuits are what drove me to be the best version of myself possible and in achieving that I was an even better mom!” She finished by saying that now as a grown man her son continually tells her how much better

www.onthemindsofmoms.com

Love Hope Family

june • july twenty seventeen | on the minds of moms

mompreneur he feels he is as a person and how much love and respect he has for her because of who she always was and the example she set for him. I have taken that with me daily and truly believe I am an even better mom because of the amazing opportunity we have been granted with our business and the examples it allows me to set for my kids. We get to show them every day how women are strong and can move mountains, that treating people well every single time always pays off, and that when you truly dedicate yourself and pour your heart into anything, you can physically pick up mountains and make them move!

is there one woman in your life who has been an inspiration to you? Yes, my Grandma Eva. She was the most honest, sincere, kind, and giving person I have ever known. She had to navigate many storms in her life and her fierce loyalty, dedication, and authenticity never wavered. In addition to sharing her love with so many, she single-handedly walked me through some of the darkest days of my life and her love and commitment to me never wavered. It was because I had

her that all of the good parts of my soul and heart were formed and that I was able to come out on the other side of things and grow the life we now have.

how do you balance work and being a mom? I think it all comes down to prioritizing. I prioritize what is a non-negotiable and what is optional. The first and foremost priority I have is ensuring the safety, security, and well-being of my family. I am incredibly lucky to have the hubby I do, as he believes in my dream and oftentimes takes on the Mr. Mom role as well as the daddy role to be sure that the business can thrive as well as the family! But what is most important to me is that my kids get one-on-one time with me. Unfortunately, that may mean I have to turn away a meeting with a client in the evenings or on the weekends on occasion; but, luckily, our clients are amazing and so supportive when I need to do this because they know how much my family means to me!

do you have any advice for budding mompreneurs? Be intentional in getting to know yourself. Know what drives you and truly understand your “Big Why.” In business this will be the foundation that will support you when days may get tough and things don’t go as planned. Once you have armed yourself with this knowledge…BUILD!!! Don’t ever let anybody tell you your dream is too big, your time is too limited, or you are undeserving of making magic happen!

what is the #1 lesson you want every client to learn?

www.onthemindsofmoms.com

They have the choice to decide! I have heard hundreds of times that clients have been unhappy with their agent, or they felt pressured into purchasing the wrong home, or their transaction was a mess… this is YOUR journey! If there is something not clicking or you are feeling unsettled, ask for assistance! Every single person involved with your home buying/selling journey should make you feel at ease and knowing at your core that they are there for you and have only your best interests at heart.

what is the biggest misconception of the real estate industry? Oh goodness…that it’s easy! I can’t begin to tell you how many times I have heard what a cushy job we have and how much fun it must be to look at pretty houses all day. While it is SO FUN working 18

on the minds of moms | june • july twenty seventeen

with clients and seeing beautiful homes all day long, there is so much that goes on behind the scenes that people simply couldn’t imagine unless they work in the industry. It is incredibly complex, sometimes scary, oftentimes intense…but I love every moment, regardless!

701.306.8303 4575 23rd Ave S, Ste 400, Fargo www.findfargomorrheadhomes.com

june events 6, 13 & 20

Party in the Park www.fargoparks.com Join us in a different park each Tuesday night for an evening of family fun, 5:30pm-8pm. Sing your favorite karaoke song, play in the bounce house, create a craft project, get your face painted, and take home a balloon animal. Enjoy free hot dogs and Pepsi products while supplies last. All are Welcome! See you on the 6th at Roosevelt Park [1220 9th St N, Fargo], the 13th at Clara Barton Park [14516th St S, Fargo], and the 20th at Osgood School Park [5400 44th Av S, Fargo].

Community Play Day www.fargoparks.com

on the playground, and move to music outside in the sunshine! Daycares are welcome. Adult supervision is required. Special guest Dakota Kid making balloon animals!

Dive into Summer www.moorheadparks.com Kick off the summer with a night of family fun at the Moorhead Municipal Pool [800 19th St S, Moorhead], 6:30pm-8:30pm! Enjoy free open swim and water games, hotdogs, chips, and pop [while supplies last], and enter for a chance to win prizes! Children 8 years of age and under must be accompanied and supervised by an adult.

8, 15, 22 & 29

Park It! www.fargoparks.com Meet the Xcellent Art staff at the park and create take-home arts and crafts, 1pm-4pm. The fun travels weekly to different neighborhoods. All supplies provided and different projects each week. See you on the 8th at Village West Park [4415 9th Av Circle S, Fargo], the 15th at Brunsdale, [1702 27th Av S, Fargo], the 22nd at Bennett Park [1900 58th Av S, Fargo], and the 29th at Roosevelt Park [1220 9th St N, Fargo]. This is a FREE event. Adult supervision is required.

Parents and children can get a refresher on water safety skills as we kick off summer at the Fercho Y [400 1st Av S, Fargo], 10am-11:30am! We will teach parents appropriate supervision of kids and how to help someone in trouble. We will be doing swim tests on kids for our pool specifically. Instructors will also be in the pool to practice back floating and swimming back to a wall if a child falls in.

Grab your super hero and head out for a night at the RedHawks baseball game [1515 15th Ave N, Fargo] for a 7:02pm start! Win prizes, enjoy $1 Cloverdale hotdogs, and bring in your Family Fare receipt of $25 or more and get a pair of General Admission tickets free.

Water Safety Day www.ymcacassclay.org

Trout Fest www.fargoparks.com Youth age 15 and under will learn about fly fishing, casting, entomology, conservation, equipment demonstrations, and more at Trout Fest at Woodhaven North Park [4406 44th Av S, Fargo]. An awards presentation will follow the derby. Trout Fest is a catchand-release event. Bring your own rod and reel. Night crawlers are provided. Complimentary Pepsi products available while supplies last. Adult supervision is recommended. Registration starts at 5:30pm with the derby beginning at 6:15pm.

DivorceCare www.fargohope.irg Hope Lutheran Church North Campus [2900 Broadway, Fargo] offers this support group for those experiencing divorce or separation.

Free Play for all ages at Rheault Farm [2902 25th St S, Fargo], 9am-11am and 1pm-3pm! Play yard games, do a take-home craft, climb

Super Hero Night www.fmredhawks.com

WF Park’s Dog Show www.wfparks.org Head to North Elmwood Park [500 13th Av W, West Fargo] 5pm-7:30pm with your pup and get ready for some fun! Awards will be presented to the Cutest Puppy, Best Groomed, Owner Dog Look-A-Like, Best Dressed, Best Trick, and most unusual breed. First place in each category will be eligible for Best of Show!

13 & 27

RiverArts www.moorheadparks.com There's always something to enjoy at Moorhead RiverArts, 5:30pm-8pm at Memorial Park [210 8th St N, Moorhead]! Each night features free horse-drawn carriage rides, inflatable games, art and craft vendors, food, ice cream, hands-on activities, and more! All concerts begin at 6pm.

we w& e www.onthemindsofmoms.com

“ My smile has brought out the model inside of me.”

Visit www.we-ortho.com or call (701) 293-5300 to take the next step towards a better smile. WE can do it.

on the minds of moms | june • july twenty seventeen

Father’s Day Craft www.courtsplus.org Still need a gift for daddio? Stop by Courts Plus Community Fitness [3491 University Dr S, Fargo], 5pm-7pm, and make one! This free event will offer projects for all ages. Supplies will be provided. Watch your kiddos be creative or participate with them!

Midwest Kid Fest & Teddy Bear Parade www.fargoparks.com Island Park [302 7th St S, Fargo] will be filled with music, laughter, and bright colors as children play and learn. All activities are FREE! The fest hosts 30 interactive educational booths, many carnival games, an entertainment stage, petting zoo, inflatables, and strolling entertainment. Concessions are available for purchase. Teddy Bear Parade registration starts at 10am at the main entrance of Dike West with the parade following at 10:30am.

19 & 26

Movie Night www.fargoparks.com Bring a blanket, pillow, or lawn chair and enjoy a starlit night of fun at Island Park [302 7th St S, Fargo] on the 19th and at Trollwood Park [3664 Elm St N, Fargo] on the 26th. Watch our special feature on an inflatable

screen in the park. The movie starts when the sun goes down [approximately 9:15pm]. Free Pepsi products and popcorn while supplies last.

win prizes, enjoy $1 Cloverdale hotdogs, and bring in your Family Fare receipt of $25 or more and get a pair of General Admission tickets free.

26–29

Wild West Jamboree www.wfparks.org Grab the family and head to Rendezvous Park [1055 32nd Av E, West Fargo], 5:30pm7:30pm for a performance of Slamabama, take a ride in the horse-drawn carriages, visit the petting zoo, learn basics of roping, and check out the barrel-car ride. Inflatable games, and pony rides available for $2 each. Hotdog, chips, and beverage sold for $1/plate.

StreetsAlive! www.fmstreetsalive.org Get out and get moving down the streets of Downtown Fargo-Moorhead [210 Broadway, Fargo], noon-5pm! Bring friends, family, and neighbors to walk, run, pedal, stroll, or skate together on blocked-off roads. Stop along the way for activities, booths, and more!

Harry Potter Night www.fmredhawks.com Head out for a night of Harry Potter fun at the RedHawks baseball game [1515 15th Ave N, Fargo], 7:02pm start! First 500 fans receive a pair of Harry Potter glasses. Dress as your favorite character for a chance to

june events

Pepsi Appreciation Day @ the Pool www.fargoparks.com Free admission all day at the pool 1pm-5pm & 6pm-8pm. Free Pepsi products and hot dogs will be served at the beginning of the first session while supplies last. Head to Island Park Pool [616 1st Av S, Fargo] on the 26th, the Northside Recreation Pool [824 19th Av N, Fargo] on the 27th, Southwest Recreation Pool [1840 15th Av S, Fargo] on the 28th, and Davies Recreational Pool [7150 25th St S, Fargo] on the 29th.

CCRI SuperHero 5K Fun Run & SideKick Youth Run www.CreativeCare.org The villains will tremble as hundreds of superheroes running faster than speeding bullets descend upon Gooseberry Park [100 22nd Av S, Moorhead] for CCRI’s SuperHero 5K Fun Run & SideKick Youth Run. SideKick Youth Run starts at 6:15pm with the SuperHero 5K Fun Run following at 6:30pm. There will be a costume contest, free picnic, and family activities. Make your miles count while supporting kids and adults with disabilities. SuperHero support makes the difference between a house and a home, a van ride and an adventure,

a gathering and a celebration, an existence and a life. Join us to provide opportunities that help people with disabilities achieve their potential and thrive as members of our community.

Go Hawaiian for Hospice www.hrrv.org Choice Financial [4501 23rd Ave S, Fargo] invites the community to “Go Hawaiian for Hospice!” Join us for the 5th annual luau lunch from 11am – 1pm. For a suggested donation of $5, attendees will feast on a pig roast, baked potato, fresh pineapple, Hawaiian Punch, and a frozen treat. All proceeds directly benefit Hospice of the Red River Valley. See you at the luau!

You don’t have to be extraordinary

just family.

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877-766-7284

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june • july twenty seventeen | on the minds of moms

july events

6, 13, 20 & 27

11–16

Meet the Xcellent Art staff at the park and create take-home arts and crafts, 1pm4pm. The fun travels weekly to different neighborhoods. All supplies provided and different projects each week. See you on the 6th at Jefferson West Park [1904 4th Av S, Fargo], the 13th at Clara Barton [1451 6th St S, Fargo], the 20th at Elephant, 100 19th Av N, Fargo], and the 27th at Kennedy Park [4501 42nd St S, Fargo]. This is a FREE event. Adult supervision is required.

Head to River’s Bend Park [2548 1st St E, West Fargo] for some fun being crafty, 4pm-6pm! Create various take-home art projects. All ages welcome, kiddos under 12 require an adult to accompany them!

It's that time again! Go get some family fun at the fair. For daily events check online.

Park It! www.fargoparks.com

Bonanzaville 4th of July www.bonanzaville.org It’s an old fashioned 4th of July celebration at Bonanzaville [1351 Main Av W, West Fargo]. A BBQ picnic, train rides, and so much more! Tour the pioneer village and come for the parade.

Community Play Day www.fargoparks.com Free Play for all ages at Rheault Farm [2902 25th St S, Fargo], 9am-11am and 1pm-3pm! Play yard games, do a take-home craft, climb on the playground, and move to music outside in the sunshine! Daycares are welcome. Adult supervision is required. Special guest Dakota Kid making balloon animals!

Art in the Park www.wfparks.org

B.L.A.S.T. Babysitting Camp www.sanfordhealthemseducation.org Babysitting Lessons and Safety Training is the initial course for teens and pre-teens on the responsibilities of caring for children. Held at the F-M Ambulance Service [2215 18th St S, Fargo], 9am-3pm, participants will learn CPR and first aid for children, as well as diaper-changing techniques. They will also learn when to call 911 and what will happen if they do need emergency assistance. The course is designed for young babysitters ages 11–15. Limited space. Register online.

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Best Friend

Visit us at our new state-of-the-art facility! 816 M e y e r D r i v e , W e s t F a r g o w w w. w e s t f a r g o a n i m a l h o s p i t a l . c o m

on the minds of moms | june • july twenty seventeen

Bring a blanket, pillow, or lawn chair and enjoy a starlit night of fun at Island Park [302 7th St S, Fargo]. Watch our special feature on an inflatable screen in the park. The movie starts when the sun goes down [approximately 9:15pm]. Free Pepsi products and popcorn while supplies last.

10 & 31

Waterama www.fargoparks.com Spend an afternoon, noon-3pm, having fun with water at Madison Park [3010 11th Av N, Fargo] on the 10th and Clara Barton [1451 6th St S, Fargo] on the 31st. Play water games and do all sorts of activities that involve water and getting wet!

11–16

Gooseberry Park Players presents Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat www.gooseberryparkplayers.org With theatrical hits such as “Close Every Door,” “Go, Go, Go, Joseph,” and “Any Dream Will Do,” Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat by Tim Rice and Andrew Lloyd Weber is one of the most enduring musicals of all time and a hit for the entire family. Gooseberry tells this timeless story in a new modern light at the Center for the Arts, MSUM.

11, 18 & 25

BEST FRIEND

for her

Request an appointment online!

Movie Night www.fargoparks.com

Your Pet’s Other

THE BEST CARE

701 .282.2898

10 & 31

Red River Valley Fair www.redrivervalleyfair.com

balloon animal. Enjoy free hot dogs and Pepsi products while supplies last. All are welcome! See you on the 11th at Westgate Park [2700 Southgate Dr SW, Fargo], the 18th at Bennett Park [1900 58th Av S, Fargo], and the 25th at Trollwood Park [3664 Elm St N, Fargo].

11 & 25

RiverArts www.moorheadparks.com There's always something to enjoy at Moorhead RiverArts, 5:30pm-8pm, at Memorial Park [210 8th St N, Moorhead]! Each night features free horse-drawn carriage rides, inflatable games, art and craft vendors, food, ice cream, hands-on activities, and more! All concerts begin at 6pm.

13–16

14, 15, 18-22 & 25-29

Enjoy the annual Mainstage Musical production featuring our local young talent. Head to the beautiful Bluestem Amphitheater [801 50th Av S, Moorhead] for an evening of entertainment under the stars. Show starts at 8:30pm each night.

Dress in Hawaiian attire and say aloha to your neighbors while enjoying some summer fun! Bring a lawn chair and/or blanket to this evening of fun at Rendezvous Park [1022 32nd Av NW, West Fargo], 5:30pm-7:30pm.

Enjoy the movie “Trolls” inside the Moorhead Sports Center [324 24th St S, Moorhead], 1pm-3pm! Bring your own chairs and blankets. Free pop and popcorn will be available, while supplies last.

Jump in for an afternoon of fun with free inflatable games, a diving contest, and so much more to help you stay cool at the Moorhead Municipal Pool [[800 19th St S, Moorhead], 2pm-4pm.

Trollwood Presents Disney’s Beauty and the Beast www.trollwood.org

“Trolls” Afternoon Movie www.moorheadparks.com

july events

Hawaiian Beach Blast 701.433.5360 www.wfparks.org

German Folk Festival www.fargoparks.com

Summer Splash www.moorheadparks.com

Dance to traditional German music produced by German/American bands at Rheault Farm [2902 25th St S, Fargo]. Explore German displays, presentations, and crafts. Free admission. German/American foods available for purchase.

Downtown Fargo Street Fair www.downtownfargo.com It’s that time again! Time to head Downtown for the annual Street Fair.

All event listings displayed within OTMOM are carefully selected to provide diverse options for families. More events found online at www.onthemindsofmoms.com/event-calendar. It is always a good idea to call ahead to confirm the information provided. Although it is not possible to list every event happening in the FM area, we encourage organizations to submit events for consideration to events@onthemindsofmoms.com

Rachel Ness, MD, FAAD Board Certified Dermatologist

Serving Fargo for 9 Years. Same Location. Same Great Care. New Name.

DERMATOLOGY • DERMATOLOGIC SURGERY • LASER PROCEDURES • COSMETIC SERVICES

www.onthemindsofmoms.com

Nikki Welk, PA-C

Learn more at: heart.org/healthierkids

4141 31st AVE S, SUITE 103, FARGO • 701.478.8780 • fargoderm.com

june • july twenty seventeen | on the minds of moms

shutterbug

exposures by j. linnea

rialee photography

exposures by j. linnea caitlin killoran photography

rialee photography

caitlin killoran photography

rialee photography

gettin’ through it

tongue thrust…whata? the correlation of your tongue and teeth position

story by | phyllis magelky

www.onthemindsofmoms.com

ongue thrust swallow…the words keep going over and over in your mind as you replay the consultation with the orthodontist for your 7-year-old daughter. You went into the appointment to get a plan for braces to straighten her teeth, but learned she needs therapy for a tongue thrust swallow first or her teeth might move again after the braces are removed. What is a tongue thrust swallow? Why haven’t you heard it before? What do you do to fix it? Who can help you?

A tongue thrust swallow, also known as a reverse swallow, is called an Oral Myofunctional Disorder [OMD] by

on the minds of moms | june • july twenty seventeen

professionals working in the field. OMD is an abnormal lip, jaw, or tongue position during rest, swallowing, or speech. The most important characteristic of a tongue thrust swallow is where the tongue rests when the person is not eating, talking, or drinking. The correct position of the tongue is to rest up against the palate [roof of the mouth]. The jaw is closed and the lips are also closed in a correct rest posture. When the tongue rests against the teeth or between the teeth, this steady constant rest posture of the tongue on the teeth causes the teeth to move, also called malocclusion. how’d this happen OMDs are typically caused by either a noxious oral habit, such as thumb sucking, a history of upper respiratory

gettin’ through it problems, or an unidentified tongue and/or lip tie. In any of these circumstances, the mouth is typically open so the tongue cannot rest in the palate. The tongue thrust swallow is part of the OMD and involves the forward movement of the tongue when a person swallows. The correct movement of the tongue is for the tip to elevate to the roof of the mouth and have a type of wave movement to press the food back to the swallow reflex located on the back of the tongue. The tongue should NEVER move forward or between the front teeth when swallowing. tongue thrust swallow & more Disorders that are also associated with OMD include sleep-disordered breathing and temporal-mandibular joint disorders. In the case of sleep-disordered breathing, Stanford has found that apnea events decrease by 50% in adults and 62% in children when oral myofunctional therapy is used as an augmented therapy to treat sleep apnea. now what? So now you understand a tongue thrust swallow better, who should you hire to do the therapy? Currently, Oral Myofunctional Therapy is within the scope of practice for Registered Dental Hygienists [RDH] and Speech Language Pathologists [SLP]. However, please know that neither RDHs nor SLPs receive any training in their traditional education to treat OMDs. If they have no training beyond their typical degree and are doing Oral Myofunctional Therapy, they are using a

published program that does not explain the intricacies of the disorder. We have had people referred to our office in orthodontic relapse who had received Oral Myofunctional Therapy prior to completion of the first set of braces, but it was obviously not done correctly. Currently, there is no licensure for Orofacial Myologist, so you must do some research to ensure you choose a provider with the knowledge to build a successful program for you or your child. When choosing a provider ask the following questions: 1. Have you taken a 28-hour course on Oral Myofunctional Disorders and Therapy? 2. How many patients have you treated? 3. Do you use a published program exclusively for all patients you treat with OMDs or do you develop individual programs unique to the patient's needs? the program details What is involved in an OMT program? The child and parent attend a weekly therapy session where past oral motor movements are observed to ensure the child has mastered them, then new exercises are given to train more advanced skills. The program begins with

to book a session, visit caitlinkilloranphotography.com C

www.onthemindsofmoms.com

june • july twenty seventeen | on the minds of moms

gettin’ through it just exercises for the mouth, then moves to proper swallowing skills and habituation. Progress is dependent on the family’s compliance to the weekly lessons and the severity of the OMD. If you have further questions about tongue thrust swallow or other OMDs, contact us at Dakota Orofacial Myology [701.364.9070, www.DakotaOrofacialMyology.com] to talk with one of our six trained orofacial myologists who can assess if further treatment is needed and what treatment is required. Oral Myofunctional Therapy is a time and money commitment in the training. But if you think about the cost of a set of braces, the investment in the muscles needed to support the corrected

1st visit

of age!

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recommended

year

occlusion is important to reduce the opportunity for orthodontic relapse, which could require a second set of braces. As one Certified Orofacial Myologist said “You wouldn’t buy a Porsche and then take it to a quick lube place for an oil change.” Dakota Orofacial Myology is the only clinic with specially trained therapists in orofacial myology therapy. So call the experts to help you and your family. Phyllis is a wife, mother, and owner of Dakota Orofacial Myology. Dakota Orofacial Myology provides services in the areas of: OMD, Autism Spectrum Disorders, swallowing and feeding, thumb/finger sucking, sensory integration disorders, picky-eater difficulties, articulation, motor planning, developmental speech delay, hearing disorders, and auditory processing disorders.

Comprehensive dental care for infants, children, and adolescents. Dakota Pediatric Dentistry, P.C. w w w. d a k o t a p e d i a t r i c d e n t i s t r y . c o m Dr. Chad Hoge, Diplomate,

American Board of Pediatric Dentistry

Dr. Mikala Hoge,

GRAND FORKS OFFICE

American Board of Pediatric Dentistry

3990 S Columbia Rd

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on the minds of moms | june • july twenty seventeen

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shop talk

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exhaustion does not have to be the mommy norm

story by | annie schlecht

magine your infant, toddler, or preschooler sleeping through the night, in his or her own bed, from 7pm to 7am, without the dreaded bedtime battle. Imagine all that you could do with three hours of peace and quiet each night…bubble baths, a work out, catch up on the last season of Game of Thrones; the list is endless!

on the minds of moms | june • july twenty seventeen

shop talk Too good to be true, you say? Let me introduce myself. I’m Annie Schlecht, founder of Zen Sleep Consulting, and I’ve accomplished this very feat with my own children. Before I became a sleep consultant, I clearly remember the feelings of exhaustion and desperation as I bounced, rocked, and shhhhed my baby girl during her frequent night wakings. Praying for her to close her eyes and go back to sleep as I sobbed along with her. I distinctly remember calling my one-year-old a ‘jerk’ at one point because I was so tired. What kind of mother was I? Who calls their sweet child a ‘jerk’? I decided to become a sleep consultant so that I could help other sleep-deprived families avoid this kind of frustration. The sleep-consulting industry is growing around the globe; however, I’m the first one in the state of North Dakota. When people ask me, “What exactly do you do?” I typically tell them that hiring a sleep consultant is no different from hiring a personal trainer at the gym. Rather than dead lifts and bench presses, I teach children the skills they need to fall asleep and stay asleep so they get quality rest. I have a Master’s Degree in Occupational Therapy from the University of North Dakota and have extensive training in infant/toddler development and sensory integration. Pairing my professional background with my personal experiences as a mother provides a double dose of awesomeness, as I can offer plenty of factual information as well as the emotional support that parents need during the sleep-training process.

The parents who seek out my services come with varying needs. Some are being proactive and hoping to get their child on a good sleep schedule before problems occur, while others are calling frazzled and sleep deprived. Consultations take place within your home or virtually via video chat. During this time, I assess the bedtime routine and the environmental components that may be affecting your child’s ability to sleep. I create a personalized plan based on your child’s needs. I then educate and coach parents as they teach the child how to have a peaceful relationship with bedtime and sleep throughout the night. I then check in with the parents daily as they implement the plan to address any issues that arise and to offer support. Consider these three basic tips for helping your child get good-quality sleep: • Develop a calm and structured bedtime routine. • Avoid screen time one to two hours before bed. • Put your child to bed awake. Because sleep is one of the main pillars of health, I want EVERYONE resting well. Although my focus has been on pediatrics, I work with clients of all ages. I have several strategies that can help you get the rest you need. We ALL deserve to “sleep like a baby”. To learn more, visit www.ZenSleepConsulting.com or Zen Sleep Consulting on Facebook. I offer free 15-minute sleep assessments for interested parents, which can be booked on the website. I can also be reached at 701.215.0025 or by email, annie@ZenSleepConsulting.com.

www.onthemindsofmoms.com

june • july twenty seventeen | on the minds of moms

just a thought

mastering life www.onthemindsofmoms.com

story by | kathleen wrigley

recently finished my first year of graduate school, for the second time in my life. Many moons ago, in a land far, far away, I earned a Master of Social Work from Temple University in Philadelphia. I was the ripe age of 23. Fresh out of undergrad and in college mode, the transition was easy into graduate school. I worked hard for those initials behind my name, MSW. 32

on the minds of moms | june • july twenty seventeen

Fast-forward several years and a marriage that brought me from the city to the prairie, I landed a job as a child therapist and an advocate for children in North Dakota. I was testifying in criminal cases as an “expert” advocate witness on children’s behalf. How brazen of me. Then.I.Had.Kids. And I stayed home to raise them while we cheered, supported, and encouraged my husband as he climbed through the ranks of his high-profile career.

just a thought The fancy initials that defined me, professionally, were insignificant for real-life as a mom. I studied child development, for Pete’s sake. Shouldn’t that type of degree be valuable for parenting? I’ve watched—with envy—episodes of National Geographic where African women wrapped in loins cloths hoe earth and farm the land in bare feet while their infant babies feed off them. Isn’t that supposed to be the most natural thing in the world? Breast-feeding had me in tears with bleeding nipples and frozen bags of peas and cabbage stuffed in my “unnaturally” over-sized bra. The constant cackle of my colicky baby had me crying with her and testing every swaddling, rocking, carrying gadget ever invented, to no avail. Motherhood is hard and holy work. There are no vacations. No smoke or bathroom breaks. No promotions or financial bonuses for a job well done. Your heart and soul are transformed. Forever and always. I was home full time with my kids for 15 years. I never expected to be. In fact, I broke up with a guy in college who once told me he wanted a wife who would be a stay-at-home mom. Good one, Jerk. Later. Not me. I've got plans.

I wanted to work. I wanted to contribute financially and carve my professional path. But life seldom turns out exactly as we plan. Given the demands of my husband’s career, and the financial opportunity it afforded, I was blessed with the choice and found joy and purpose in being a stay-at-home mom. Moms earn their graduate-level studies in parenting the old-fashioned way. We grow into it and sacrifice everything from hygiene to sleep in the process. I nursed and raised three babies. I brushed their barely-there infant teeth-buds morning and night, methodically, before it ever occurred to me to clean the fuzzy sweaters off my own fully-grown choppers. I knew I’d mastered the nursing thing after I breast-fed a three-week-old, Harper, in the back room at a political convention full of suited men, without any of them knowing I had a child under my own suit coat. I have slept sitting up and holding hands with my toddler son who suffered from terrible night terrors. I didn’t dare leave his side. What if the monsters came back and I wasn’t there to protect him? Mommy’s hand was his secret weapon.

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just a thought It was my high honor to be his sword, for protection. If only it were that easy, forever. I will never regret one day of staying home with my babies. Life takes us to places we never dreamed would be our reality. And just when you feel you’ve mastered your work and you have protected them from the bad stuff, life happens and you’re left feeling vulnerable, trudging through uncharted territory, So here I am. Life has brought me full circle. I’m back at work, outside of our home, as a school counselor at our kids’ school. And, 46 years old, I am back in graduate school for the second time, trying to master school counseling this time. I am a mature student. I come to class with laugh lines, hot-flashes, gray roots, saggier skin, and perspective. My house is dirtier than usual. My laundry piles are taller than two of my children. And I’m tired. And, not to be too braggy, I have a 4.0 GPA so far. I’ve also managed to master the “freshman 15” pounds, plus 5 because more is expected at the graduate level. I don’t have the freedom to work out or train for marathons as often as I did in my past life, and my appetite is as voracious as a co-ed. That makes for a bad metabolism and a weighty scale. I am collecting boxes of diets and weight-loss products. I try a new one for a week. Then I get hungry. I could open a weight-loss clinic and sell my products, if the school counseling gig doesn’t work.

Nevertheless, I am powering through my days as a mature graduate student and welcoming the all-nighters, better known as insomnia that seems to come naturally with middle-age, so that I can research, write, and read endless empirical studies. Yes, life is certainly uncertain. And every plot twist comes with, unexpected opportunities, if you look hard enough. The best part of my new journey is that I get to work with other people’s children and families again, now as a mom. I have found purpose and promise working outside my home. Someday I’ll fit into my old clothes. But for now, I think I’ll buy new pants to fit in to my new skin, keep grinding away at the books, teach my kids how to cook and do laundry, and watch them with pride as they master the courage to support their mom as she spreads her wings. Fitness is an integral part of Kathleen’s daily routine and helps her sustain her own mental health! Kathleen’s column “ just a thought” has been a regularly occurring piece in “on the minds of moms” since 2009. Kathleen is a Philadelphia native, and has called North Dakota her second home for the last 18 years. Before becoming a mom, she was director for Bismarck’s Child Advocacy Center and was a speechwriter. Kathleen received a BS from Pennsylvania State University and completed her graduate studies at Temple University in Philadelphia. Currently, Kathleen is a graduate student at the University of Mary, pursuing a second master’s degree, this time in School Counseling.

Have You Registered for Kindergarten Yet? Registration is open online at: www.fargo.k12.nd.us/registration

O FA R G

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BLIC S C

Once online registration has been completed, families MUST bring their child’s certified birth certificate, current immunization record, and proof of residence(utility bill) to the school their child will attend or the district office. Please call ahead of your visit to the school to ensure they are staffed. Child must be age 5 by July 31, 2017. Check to see which school your child will attend at www.fargo.k12.nd.us/boundarymaps or call 701.446.1043

on the minds of moms | june • july twenty seventeen

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june • july twenty seventeen | on the minds of moms

merson grew up on the family farm near New England, ND, and is the only one of Ronald and Janetâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s five children who did not return to farming after graduating from college. This University of North Dakota alum went on to

dental school at Boston University. He worked as a general dentist at the Veterans Affairs Hospital in Minneapolis prior to completing his orthodontic specialty training at the University of Colorado. You can now find Dr. Ehlis doing what he loves as an orthodontist at WE Ortho [www.we-ortho.com], offering Invisalign, SureSmile, and braces for children, teens, and adults. Married to wife Katie for five years and enjoying every minute of 3-year old son, Porter, the Ehlis family will grow by one this summer with a baby girl scheduled to debut in July. Away from WE Ortho and time with his family, Emerson enjoys downhill skiing, hunting, fishing, golf, and cheering for UND hockey, the Dallas Cowboys, and Manchester City.

photos: rialee photography | ria czichotzki

emerson ehlis

age 35, west fargo.nd

for me father’s day is about... quality time. Growing up, my extended family would play softball with more than enough aunts, uncles, and cousins to field two teams, so the outfield was packed. Currently it changes year to year, but I anticipate some intense Hot Wheel racing with Porter and some time on the river in Bismarck with family.

my easy meal of choice… Mac n’ Cheese

i love my profession because... of the opportunity to change lives through smiles. Sometimes those smiles are created with treatment, but other times they are byproducts of our interactions!

rad dad

to ourselves. We regularly have nights out with friends for dinner and drinks, but I’m pulling out my calendar because it’s been too long!

i have to admit... I’m an incredibly bad bowler. My wife consistently beats me at bowling. And she reminds me of it, whenever possible. I was embarrassed, but now that I’ve shared it, I think I’ve disarmed the situation!

my kids would say i... ”should be playing Legos and cars.” —Porter circa 8:45pm on a Monday.

one of the first things about my wife that i fell in love with was... our conversation. We first met at a Rotary social she organized and I told my friend I would marry her the first night we met. He told me “good luck with that.” Not being a Rotarian at the time, I suddenly felt a strong philanthropic drive to join, and it all worked out from there.

the most completely perfect day i could imagine would consist of...

www.onthemindsofmoms.com

at this stage of life, a morning at Disney with breakfast with characters to entertain Porter and way too much food to entertain me, followed by a few rides with absolutely no lines. Then somehow skiing with Porter and Katie in the afternoon, with date-night dinner and drinks to close. And maybe shoot a pheasant somewhere along the way.

the tv show i can’t miss… House of Cards. Thankfully it’s on Netflix!

if a date night is on the schedule, my wife and i... honestly, the question gives me pause because I cannot remember the last time we had a night just june • july twenty seventeen | on the minds of moms

rad dad

if my life were turned into a movie, the actor to play me would be… John Krasinski. He’s funny, approachable, and plays characters of integrity.

www.onthemindsofmoms.com

i believe what makes me a good dad… being supportive while encouraging independence. It’s sometimes hard to distinguish the lines, but my hope is for my kids to feel capable of attempting anything fearlessly while looking for help when needed… even if it’s pulling up pants after using the potty!

the subject i wish i knew more about… how to raise a little girl! My staff continually tell me a girl is going to hold me in the palm of her hand, but I question the physics of that arrangement.

on the minds of moms | june • july twenty seventeen

something i admire but would never do… climb Everest. It’s seems pretty high.

something else you should know about me… there’s a mischievous elf that often follows me to work and the little guy really likes to hum along to Britney Spears, the Spice Girls, and many other sinfully decadent 90’s tunes. To make his questionable preferences in music even worse, he has little shame in singing along. The strange thing is that when anyone else seems to hear him, they never see him. Sometimes they think that I’m singing along to Destiny’s Child, Whitney, or his favorite, Maroon 5. It’s embarrassing—for him, that is—and while I’m typically able to keep him out of any serious situations, when the good times roll, he really has little self-control.

rad dad

www.onthemindsofmoms.com

june • july twenty seventeen | on the minds of moms

oh, by the way

happy anniversary soulmate? story by | deb uglem

www.onthemindsofmoms.com

nce upon a time on an August night I was standing in a Quonset in a small North Dakota town [yes, a Quonset, where else are high school dances held?]. That is when I saw him across the room. I thought we made eye contact, so I waited. The radio station disc jockey cranked out an 80’s rock song and then another and as curfew was drawing dangerously close I thought “now or never.” So I walked across the room and asked the guy in the Alabama sweatshirt to dance. As luck would have it a slow rock ballad was next on the playlist. We had at least four minutes together before my friends grabbed me off the dance floor and we ran out of the building. The only way to make this more like Cindarella would be if one of my hot-pink jelly shoes fell off as I

on the minds of moms | june • july twenty seventeen

left. By chance, we found ourselves in the same place at the same time a couple days later. And that is how I met my soulmate. The rest, as they say, is history. This is a big summer for us, thus the reminiscing. June marks our 25th year of wedded bliss. I have always believed in soulmates. The idea of your one and only just makes me happy and hopeful. What’s interesting is my soulmate doesn’t believe in soulmates. Over 25 years ago, we sat in our church to complete our final hurdle before we walked down the aisle. If I remember right it was close to a hundred-question “test” to see if we were compatible. The priest said we did relativity well [we did get the green light to get married, so there’s proof]. Only a couple questions tripped us up. One of them revolved around stories of fate and soulmates, and if we believed in a one true love. Let me explain:

oh, by the way hubby actually thinks that if he hadn’t met me he would have married someone else. What the what? I am just someone he married? I wouldn’t say we had a fight; we did, however, discuss how he got that question wrong. It is a debate we still have today. So how do you define a soulmate? With a quick Google search, of course. Descriptions are filled with romantic gestures and unbelievable connection. My young self totally loves these definitions. However, time, kids, and actually living with hubby makes my younger self’s certainty a little fuzzy. For instance, you would think that my life would mirror a romantic comedy, considering I married my soulmate. Well, let me tell you I haven’t been whisked away on a jet to the opera, I have never been serenaded with Peter Gabriel’s In Your Eyes, and I can guarantee you hubby has never said that I complete him. I also don’t get flowers, candy, or sweet love notes. This leads to the question, what do soulmates do? Well, in my house, among other things, snore, watch a lot of golf, don’t pick up socks, and make fun of my obsession with the show Fixer Upper. I am sure all of you know about three guys who can do this, too. Maybe the hubby has a point? Nah! Right when I am going to give up on the idea of soulmates I’m reminded when he fills my car with gas or sneaks back into the room for a morning kiss goodbye. Somehow, he knows the perfect time to send me a funny Bitmoji, and, not to mention, he’s a great dad. So as I break this soulmate thing down from a fundamental perspective, I am not

saying I agree with him, but at a minimum my definition has certainly evolved. It has changed from romantic grand gestures to kindness and a shared sense of comfort. He doesn’t complete me but he does make me feel completely special and I try to do the same. Webster describes a soulmate as someone who understands your temperament no matter what is happening in your life. My hubby has done just that since I met him. So I guess it’s official: the 25-year debate is over. I answered the compatibility question right and he got it wrong! Happy anniversary from your soulmate, or, as you like to put it, the person you married. Deb is a city girl from Finley, ND, and she and her husband, Tim, have called the Fargo-Moorhead area home for the last 15 years. She graduated from Drake University in Des Moines, IA, with a degree in Journalism and Mass Communications. Currently Deb’s day job is working on her next adventure and she welcomes the pleasant distraction that writing brings. She is mom to Jake [23], Tony [22], Nick [22], and Emily [20], and credits them for her inspiration. She fills her spare time with golf, HGTV, shopping, and Netflix.

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june • july twenty seventeen | on the minds of moms

resistance is persistence photos: rialee photography | ria czichotzki

joe fluge

story by | sheri kleinsasser stockmoe

t seems like every day we wake to a story of another tragic loss of a young person due to addiction. Even without firsthand experience, all parents can sympathize with the struggle of wanting only the best for a child and the feeling of helplessness that must be physically and emotionally overwhelming when a parent can’t “fix” the addiction. Joe Fluge hates hearing these stories, too. He doesn’t have the answer for addiction, but he has the expertise to make a difference in the addiction war ravaging our community.

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resistance is persistence A graduate of Fargo North, class of 1996, Joe still resides north of Main Avenue with his wife of 12 years, Kate, and their three daughters, Samantha [10], Stella [6], and Haddie [5]. For over ten years Joe worked with the Cass County Drug Task Force. “Taking drugs off the streets is a big deal to me,” he says. Currently he is regional manager for the Drug Reduction Program for the

advocate Joe has always been a dog guy. He has rarely had any extended time when he didn’t own a dog. Growing up he was affectionately called the dog whisperer for his uncanny ability to connect with his four-legged friends. Over the last eight years Joe had been training dogs as a hobby, focusing on obedience and hunting skills.

National Guard Bureau, as well as a private investigator.

Approximately one year ago, he got the opportunity to broaden his training abilities, learning on location from master trainers at Bullocks K9 Academy in North Carolina. “I was there for six weeks,” Joe says. “We did about 50 hours a week of canine drug-detection training, obedience, tracking, and decoy training for both law enforcement and personal protection dogs and for building searches.”

Joe sees the epidemic of drug use in our community and, considering his investigating background, acknowledges that he tends to look at these situations differently than many do. “I draw timelines all the time,” Joe says of his investigative work, always looking before the current situation to truly understand it. “How did this person get to this point? Where did it go bad? But you know what’s consistent about each one of those kids that are dying anywhere from 20 to 26 years old? They grew up here. They went through our school systems. These are our kids.” Joe’s found a way to combine his professional experience with a hobby and turn his passion into a way to help our kids, parents, and community combat this drug problem. He wants to be at the front end of the timeline providing a spark that leads to positive outcomes for our youngsters. And he’s doing it with Urban K9. 44

on the minds of moms | june • july twenty seventeen

Joe came back to Fargo and established Urban K9. “The goal is to take the drugs out of the schools, colleges, businesses, treatment facilities, people's homes,” he explains. Joe and his dog can search virtually anywhere and they are fast and effective. A dog’s sense of smell is at least 10,000 times more acute than a human’s. That means a dog can detect a teaspoon of sugar in the amount of water it takes to fill two Olympic-sized pools. A specially trained detection dog like Joe’s can also search an area four times faster than a human can.

resistance is persistence “He wants to help make the community a safe place for our kids to grow up in. Not just our own daughters, but for all the kids in our community,,” Kate says. “And when he puts his mind to something, he doesn’t quit!” Parents, business owners, rehab centers, school and college administrators, anyone committed to having a

Joe wants to be in the way of anyone abusing drugs further or being introduced to drugs for the first time.

educate “We’re dealing with a billion-dollar cartel pushing drugs in,” Joe says. “They need our 12-year-olds. They need

them to start on marijuana. They need to get them hooked on prescription pills; cartels love that. Because when the pills aren’t there, guess what the kids will do? Heroin. And the guys in the big cities, Chicago, Milwaukee, the pipeline, they love our addicted kids. The drug dealer from Minneapolis in the hotel room doesn’t care that he just sold to this 22-year-old who is now going to sell to your 14-year-old. He doesn’t care one bit. Neither does that 22-year-old, because he’s gotta support his habit. He knows if he gets this kid he's got steady income to support his heroin habit. Good kids are getting sucked in, taken down the wrong path and their lives changed forever." Drugs are in our schools. That doesn’t just mean there are kids going to school who are drug users. It means that actual drugs are physically within our schools. Just do a quick google search of “drugs in Fargo schools” and you’ll see headlines from the last year detailing issues such as fentanyl use within West Fargo schools. june • july twenty seventeen | on the minds of moms

www.onthemindsofmoms.com

drug-free establishment can call Joe, day or night, for a random search, the cost of which starts at $150. Joe and his dog can search bedrooms, cars, parking lots, hallways, classrooms, bags—you name it. And if Joe’s dog finds anything, it is up to the responsible party who requested the search to take action. “Because I’m a private investigator, my searches are not public record,” he explains. “Everybody has a drug policy, yet nobody wants to abide by it. If we find something it is up to the person or organization to call law enforcement and/or follow through on their drug policy. Our kids should not have to worry about drugs being at school. An addict working to get sober shouldn’t have to encounter drugs in treatment. A parent doing everything they can should be confident there are no drugs in their home or vehicles. I’m more than willing to help people that need it. I’m an advocate.”

But to really take this monster down at the knees, Joe has strong words of advice, “If we want to beat this, WE have to do something to beat it!”

resistance is persistence Isn’t that unimaginable? Yes, but sadly it’s reality and an area Joe desperately wants to change. “It's a deterrent,” Joe says of his random searches. “It's used to keep the drugs out. We take the drugs out of our schools, then we take it out of the homes. And now we're starting to fight the war on drugs, privately.” Joe is adamant that we can’t rely on law enforcement alone to win this war. “Fargo Police Chief Todd is spot on about what needs to happen,” he says. “Private people need to step it up. Parents need to step up, the community needs to step up, the schools need to step up.” Joe is ready to step up. communicate The mayors of Fargo, West Fargo, Moorhead, Dilworth, and Horace have formed The Blue Ribbon Commission on Addiction, which is a local initiative responding to the opioid crisis and the larger issue of addiction in our community. Working on prevention, treatment, and recovery will be the focus of the Commission. It will include individuals and organizations ranging from our city and state governments to law enforcement, to healthcare professionals, to policy makers, and private citizens. There will also be three expert panels, one including Joe.

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“I kind of talked myself into it,” he says with a smile. “I sat in the front row when the mayors announced the Commission and asked a ton of questions. And, after the fact, every time there was a story about another overdose I would send an email to the Commission contact guy saying, ‘Here’s another one you guys talked about saving.’ I was pretty blunt.” Joe’s persistence made an impact and he gladly accepted a position on the Health Promotion/Disease Prevention Expert Panel. He’s ready to have input on the questions he posed that first night of the Blue Ribbon Commission announcement: What are we doing about keeping the drugs out of the schools? What are we doing about the kids now addicted? What about the parents who don't know what to do anymore? Joe is also ready to make an impact beyond drug detection. passionate “It's huge. It's a good accomplishment,” Joe says of the satisfaction he receives working with dogs. Reflecting on his own positive experience, Joe decided to start a youth dog-training program within Urban K9 called K9 Crew. 46

on the minds of moms | june • july twenty seventeen

resistance is persistence

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june • july twenty seventeen | on the minds of moms

resistance is persistence “It's a redirection, it's about getting kids involved in something,” Joe explains. “The therapeutic part of dogs is pretty crazy.” Studies have found the benefits of dog companionship to include such things as dog owners being less likely to suffer from depression; people with dogs have lower blood pressure in stressful situations than those without pets; and playing with a dog elevates a person’s levels of serotonin and dopamine, to name a few.

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The K9 Crew is teaming up with Sheyenne River Kennels to provide kids the opportunity to care for dogs [their own or one at the kennel] as well as learn the skills to train them appropriately. Kids will be expected to maintain kennels, meet program expectations for hours trained, be drug free, do their best in school, and work hard. Upon completion of the program they will be have learned a variety of dog training techniques that they can use to train dogs on their own for a hobby or for an income and they will have gained much more than that. “There's a lot of confidence building,” Joe says of the program. “We teach them sacrifice and commitment. If we can teach them those two things, the rest falls into place.”

on the minds of moms | june • july twenty seventeen

“We are here to help, not to judge,” Kate says of K9 Crew. “Kids can come from the best upbringing but make one bad choice or have one traumatic event that takes them down a dark path, and it’s a hard cycle to get out of. As a parent, you want to give your kids the best shot at the game of life, but things can happen that are out of our control and you feel so helpless. K9 Crew offers a skill-building program for at-risk youth in a safe, structured environment that will foster positive decision making and build relationships. It’s not just for kids who are affected by drugs, but also kids struggling with self-esteem issues, depression, bullying, and so on.” “A lot of parents have lost a lot of good kids. We’re losing the fight. Why are we losing? We have the perfect capability to win. There's no reason that we should lose our kids. So let's start something new,” Joe says. “Then maybe a mechanic sees this and starts a program where kids can wrench on trucks or bikes. Let’s give these kids an outlet, engaging with them in real-life scenarios, so we can actually build on them. We're here to make sure they get through this section of their lives. Piece by piece we develop these kids. It doesn't happen overnight.”

resistance is persistence motivate Like us all, it hurts Joe to see the young lives that have succumbed to drug addiction. He looks at his three girls and knows they aren’t immune. That’s part of his motivation. “I'm not just looking at today’s high-school kid. I’m looking at my five-year-old and her class, it's not just right this present day. I want our schools and community safer and I’m doing the youth program for the kids who aren't going to graduate for another 13 years.” And Joe’s committed to being a positive change in the war on drugs, regardless of how many questions he has to ask our city leaders, how many emails or calls he has to make, or how many times he hears a school isn’t ready for his services. “He is so passionate about getting drugs off our streets, and about training dogs and giving them a job, that when he figured out what he wanted to do and it involved both of those things, I was so happy for him and gave him my full support,” Kate says of Joe starting Urban K9. “It’s taken some sacrifice, but it’s worth it.” Reflecting on the last two years, Kate is most proud

of her husband’s determination. “He has faced quite a few obstacles in the process of starting Urban K9 and founding K9 Crew, but he hasn’t let them slow him down.” “For me resistance is persistence,” Joe says with a smile. “I'm going to keep plugging away. And I'm not shy, you know? I don't sugarcoat a lot of stuff. I know there's a drug problem, I worked on a drug task force for tenand-a-half years. We need to change things. That's the whole idea of Urban K9. The drug detection and youth program are about changing things from how we’ve been doing them. Because what we’ve been doing isn’t working! We need to change. We are that change. We are going to save a lot of kids.”

For more information on Urban K9 or K9 Crew, contact Joe at 701.799.3130 or visit www.urbanK9.net

www.onthemindsofmoms.com

june • july twenty seventeen | on the minds of moms

ready, set, grow

story byâ&#x20AC;&#x201A; |â&#x20AC;&#x201A; patricia carlson

ogs and cats may be the most popular pets in American homes, but that doesnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t necessarily mean these furry friends are the right fit for your family.

There are many things to consider before making a commitment to bringing a cat, cockatoo, or even hermit crab, into your home: finances, time, allergies, and added responsibility are just a few. Some of the biggest factors to focus on revolve around your child: How old is your kid or kids? Do they have any medical or behavioral issues? What type of temperament does your tot have? Have they ever been afraid of an animal before?

mommy, i want a puppy! what you need to know before choosing a family pet

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more than half of dog-bite injuries occur at home with dogs who are familiar to us. —centers for disease control and prevention

wee ones [0–18 months]

hen bringing a new pet into the home, a slow, closely supervised introduction is best. Keep the first few introductions brief and only continue with them if both your baby and pet are content.

slow and steady Just as siblings can get jealous of a new addition, so can Fido, the family dog. He’s had your attention all to himself and now there is a loud, smelly, Alpha baby competing for your love and affection. At best this may make your pet anxious or nervous; at worst, animal behavior can be unpredictable or nasty. A child, even a sleeping baby, should never be left unsupervised with a pet. Please use extra caution once your wee one is mobile. Don’t forget that as your child scoots about, his face will be nearly eye-level with your pet’s [if you have the kennel-or habitat-free kind].

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pets such as reptiles, amphibians, rodents, ferrets, or baby chicks should not be allowed in your kitchen or other food-prep areas.

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—www.emedicinehealth.com

tots

[18 months–3 years]

ogs are energetic and have wet, sloppy tongues. Cats are soft and cuddly. Hamsters are hysterical. Snakes are scaly and exotic. Parrots are colorful and playful. No wonder, then, that many toddlers naturally gravitate toward animals. Before you let your child near an animal or introduce a new family pet, however, there are some practical safety precautions to take and teach your tot. model behavior Talk with your tot about what a LOUD voice is compared to a quiet voice, and what a fast movement looks like

compared to a slow movement. It’s really important to be a good human role model for your child. Allow an animal to sniff you without making exaggerated arm, hand, or leg movements. If the animal appears calm and relaxed, and you are calm and relaxed, slowly extend your hand to pet the animal’s shoulders or back. Practice this with your tot. Tots are not going to remember all of this in the excitement of meeting an animal for the first time, but with routine and gentle reminders they’ll get the hang of it.

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if you feel threatened by an agitated animal, stand still with your hands at your sides and avoid direct eye contact. never scream and run. —www.emedicinehealth.com

preschoolers [3–5 years]

mpulse control is still a challenge at this age. Things like grabbing, biting, and yelling can lead to flare-ups between pre-school pals, but these can usually be dampened by an on-point teacher or parent. When things like ear twisting, tail pulling, cat smacking, and

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hamster squeezing occur with pets, however, animals may react instinctually and display protective behavior. warning signs Some pets kindly take the abuse, others get scared and run away. Unfortunately, you may not know which kind of pet you have until something upsets them. Children at this age should be taught to recognize why and when a pet is getting agitated. Teasing is a no-no. As is bothering pets while they eat, sleep, or are with their babies. Signs that a pet is irritated include prickly fur, pushed-back ears, growling, bared teeth, hunched posture, and lack of eye contact. Believe it or not, these warning signs are fairly universal across a variety of species.

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child psychologists have found that pets are very comforting to kiddos and actually help them develop empathy. —www.seatletimes.com

big kids [6–9 years]

hether a pet is new to your family or you’ve had one for a while, this is the time for your kiddo to pitch in and help care for the creature. We’re not saying to let your six-year-old take your pet bunny for a solo jaunt around the neighborhood, but it is okay to require your big kid to clean bunny’s abode. Here’s some other things kids can do to help care for the family pet: • feeding and watering • scooping and changing litter • walking the pet with adult family members • helping with bath time • brushing fur • comfort the animal if it is ill or injured [with adult supervision] • clean the crate, kennel, or habitat

healthy example You can also start using your pets as examples for healthy living. Discussing and exemplifying healthy diets, exercise, love, and proper care for a pet is an

excellent way to teach kids about the basics of a healthy life. Research presented in the American Journal of Public Health shows that children in dog-owning families spend more time being physically active than children without dogs.

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tweeners [10–12 years]

his is often when children start to lead busy lives. Soccer practice and piano lessons mean more time away from the family pet. Not only could the animal feel a bit neglected and start to ‘act out,‘ but kids may let their care-taking duties [outlined above] slide. It’s completely okay to remind your kids about their responsibilities regarding the pets and set some consequences if they don’t follow through, especially if your kids were an active part in the decision process to get a family animal. on the pet path Sometimes, you may have a kid who becomes extremely

interested in animals and animal care through having a pet. What a cool result from your family’s investment! This is an excellent age for kids to start volunteering or shadowing an animal professional [call your vet!] if they have a strong interest in animals or animal care as a career. Most Fargo-Moorhead animal shelters or care facilities allow kids to volunteer with a parent or guardian. 4-H is also a terrific opportunity for kids to learn about smaller farm breeds or large-animal care like livestock and horses.

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approximately 6.5 million companion animals enter U.S. animal shelters nationwide every year. —www.aspca.org

teens [13–18years]

dog’s average life span is 10–13 years. A cat’s is 14–16 years. A well-cared for indoor rabbit’s is 7–10. A captive iguana’s is 10–12 years. Why are we telling you all this? Because if you brought your family pet into the fold during your child’s early elementary school years, there is a good chance the pet will pass away when your kids are teenagers. help them cope A pet’s passing will be difficult for your entire family, but it may hit your teen especially hard. This pet was probably your kid’s first real best friend. This pet greeted your kiddo every morning and after school. This pet saw him through awkward middle school years and may have offered comfort and companionship that you never saw. Losing this pet might be his first experience with the death of a loved one.

From scripted television programming and investigative journalism to corporate blogging and email marketing campaigns, Patricia Carlson of Patricia Carlson Freelance does it all. An award-winning writer and editor, Patricia has produced, written, and edited programs for ESPN Radio, History Channel, and Hallmark Channel. Her editorial work

Sources: ·· pets.thenest.com/signs-agitated-dog-11543.html ·· www.emedicinehealth.com/child_safety_pets-health/article_em.htm ·· www.aspca.org/animal-homelessness/shelter-intake-and-surrender/pet-statistics ·· www.cesarsway.com/dog-behavior/biting/dogs-children-and-safety ·· www.cdc.gov/features/dog-bite-prevention/ ·· www.canidae.com/blog/2014/11/ five-ways-having-a-pet-teaches-a-child-responsibility/ ·· healthypets.mercola.com/sites/healthypets/archive/2014/11/14/10-petownership-life-lessons.aspx ·· ajph.aphapublications.org/doi/abs/10.2105/AJPH.2009.188193?hits=10&FIRSTI NDEX=0&searchid=1&author1=Owen+Christopher&resourcetype=HWCIT&RES ULTFORMAT=&sortspec=relevance&maxtoshow=& ·· middleearthnj.wordpress.com/2012/10/02/teens-coping-with-the-death-of-a-pet/ ·· kidshealth.org/en/parents/pet-death.html ·· rainbowsbridge.com/grief_support_center/grief_support/chrildren_and_petloss.htm

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Here’s where it gets tricky. Teens are still figuring out how to handle extreme emotions and they don’t always process things the way we—adults—would like them to. Some teens may appear to overreact, while others might not show any outward emotion. Both can be aggravating when you’re grieving, too. A simple, loving conversation to let them know that you’re available to talk if they want to, but that you understand if they'd rather turn to friends at this time, is a compassionate way to handle the situation.

appears regularly in publications nationwide and she also develops and writes strategic website content and inbound marketing materials for businesses. Patricia earned a master’s degree in journalism from the Medill School of Journalism at Northwestern University and is also a proud alumna of Wheaton College in Massachusetts. When she’s not interviewing sources, she’s questioning the antics of her two young children, partner, and senior-citizen cat. Connect with Patricia on LinkedIn.

be faithful in small things because it is in them that your strength lies. â&#x20AC;&#x201D;mother teresa

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