June/July 2018 On the Minds of Moms

june–july

twenty eighteen

the valley’s

for today’s

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contents

in every issue food for thought . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 18 event calendar . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 20 shutterbug

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contents

sections this & that family fun in the sun: summer recreation and activities for the whole family . . . . . . . . .14

gettin' through it when dad’s depressed . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 26

oh by the way a sports mom’s confession . . . . . . . . . . . . . 34

ready, set, grow hygiene 101: keepin’ it clean . . . . . . . . . . . . 42

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contents

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photos: ten little chickens photography | renee clasen

contents

feature & profiles

mod mom profile leann franklin . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 10

rad dad profile joel paulsen . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 30

cover story kelly krenzel the power of joy . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 36

moms

on the minds of

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PUBLISHER DS Communication, LLC EDITORS Sheri Kleinsasser Stockmoe p: 701.306.1624 e: sheri@onthemindsofmoms.com Dani Parkos Fluge e: dani@onthemindsofmoms.com

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PHOTOGRAPHY Renee Clasen – ten little chickens photography Josette Hayes–exposures by j.linnea Scott Thuen-thuen studios DESIGN AND LAYOUT

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AD DESIGN Casie Beldo Scott Thuen Tara Kessler Stephanie Drietz CONTACT mail: PO Box 190, Fargo, ND 58107 e: hello@onthemindsofmoms.com p: 701.297.2138 SUBSCRIPTION print www.onthemindsofmoms.com/subscribe digital issuu.com/onthemindsofmoms

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OTMOM MISSION STATEMENT On The Minds Of Moms Magazine is dedicated to providing parents of all ages a bimonthly resource they can trust. A fresh approach to traditional parenting publications, we are modern and inspiring while offering a community of local support and real-life advice for today’s family.

On The Minds Of Moms contains views from across the parenting spectrum. These views do not necessarily reflect those of the publisher. All activities listed in these pages are at your own risk and require appropriate supervision.

OTMOM is a publication available at all Fargo-Moorhead Hornbacher's, Family Fare, and Grand Forks–East Grand Forks Hornbacher's and Hugo's grocery store locations. Distribution also includes all partnering advertisers.

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F

rom a Spud to a Cobber, LeAnn Franklin is a Moorhead High and Concordia College graduate. She is mom to daughter Lauren, age 9 going on 19 [according to her mama], and wife to Mike since 2000. The same year she and

Mike were married LeAnn started her career in radio. In fact if LeAnn could read you these pages right now you would recognize her calm, soothing, happy voice as the weekday afternoon broadcaster on Life 97.9 FM. Eighteen years in the business and “I continue to love it!” LeAnn says of her career at Life 97.9. “The music and message are so uplifting! I never plan to retire from radio. It’s great to have a job that, although it’s work, it doesn’t really feel like work!”

photos: ten little chickens photography | renee clasen

leann franklin fargo.nd

mod mom

the last thing i say to my daughter at night is…

ways i bond with my daughter…

for the umpteenth time, “Go to sleep!”

she would say our trips to “Justice” are real bonding!

But I think our talks. Lauren always has big “life” questions for me.

my friends give me… grace, time, patience, and an occasional gift card to get a pedicure.

i’m a sucker for… chips and fresh, homemade salsa.

three things on my bathroom counter… only three? Detangling leave-in conditioner, Hair Chalk [it’s my daughter’s….really] and Dramatically Different Clinique Lotion.

one word that best describes my parenting style…

I have a tendency to be democratic…I’m pretty collaborative. Between her mom and dad, Lauren knows who the push-over is!

the woman i most identify with would be… that depends…some days I feel like I identify most

the most famous person i have met…

Oprah Winfrey, Olivia Newton-John, or Walter Mondale…who’s most famous?

something i long to do again someday… parasailing

when i was a little girl i wanted to grow up and be… a broadcaster!

Helping to

protect

what matters

most

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mod mom with Jesus’s friend Martha…way too busy with stuff.

And other days I identify more with His friend Mary… when I am able to simply be still.

i can’t live without… my faith in Christ. Not a day goes by without my dependence on Him!

the movie i could watch over and over again…

Groundhog Day—too funny!

my biggest mom challenge…

www.onthemindsofmoms.com

in the busyness of life, taking time to stop and pray and spend time together…to really focus on faith and family.

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on the minds of moms | june • july twenty eighteen

people are always surprised to learn i… sang at Carnegie Hall.

i want my daughter to grow up knowing... that Christ loves her more than I ever could and He proved that when He went to the cross and died for her and that He will never leave her.

Remember to listen to LeAnn on Life 97.9 FM weekdays 11am to 3pm

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this & that

family fun in the sun: summer recreation and activities

www.onthemindsofmoms.com

for the whole family

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on the minds of moms | june • july twenty eighteen

this & that story by | kimberly blaker

I

t's the season your kids have been waiting for, so how will you maximize the long lazy days of summer with your family? Celebrate the carefree season to its fullest with these outdoor activities and adventures your whole family will enjoy. back to nature trail blazing Head to a local, state, or national park and make a day of nature hiking. Before you go make a list of things for your family to find and identify, such as an oak tree, woodpecker holes, a garter snake, or a raccoon paw print. Carry a backpack with binoculars, sunscreen, visors or sunglasses, and plenty of water and snacks. Don’t forget your hiking shoes and a lightweight jacket in case the shade becomes cool.

Check out these great spots in North Dakota, www. ndtourism.com/best-places/13-fantastic-hiking-andbiking-trails-north-dakota, and in Minnesota, www. exploreminnesota.com/things-to-do/hiking. z is for zoo Summer wouldn’t be summer without a trip to the zoo. Visit the wild at one of the many zoos that have created natural, spacious settings for the animals, and teach your children the importance of these habitats.

Check the schedule for animal presentations, and don’t miss the petting zoo where youngsters can walk and talk with the animals and feed them from their palms.

Fun to be had at Fargo’s Red River Zoo, www.redriverzoo. org, Wahpeton’s Chahinkapa Zoo, www.chahinkapazoo. org, or venture a little further from home and check out

Bismarck’s Dakota Zoo, www.dakotazoo.org or Sioux Falls’ Great Plains Zoo, www.greatzoo.org. water, water everywhere beach bummin’ Load up the beach balls, buckets, and blankets, and get ready for a day on the lake at one of the many public swimming beaches in Minnesota lakes country [www.dnr.state.mn.us/state_parks/ starter_kit/beaches.html]. For added fun take along goggles, snorkels, and fins for underwater exploration. a trip downstream Canoeing is a fun-filled family adventure for all ages. Look for canoe rentals on a clear river and take a cool dip when the day heats up. Carry belongings such as wallet, keys, and snacks in a waterproof bag that floats since tips are not only common [although can easily be avoided if caution is exercised] but can be half of the fun. Give kids plenty of opportunities to paddle and steer. Locally check out River Keepers for Canoe and Kayak rentals [www.riverkeepers.org]. backyard water blast Plenty of cool fun can be had right in your own backyard. Make it a family tradition to have an annual water spree. Fill water balloons and

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june • july twenty eighteen | on the minds of moms

15

this & that play a game of catch, hook up the sprinklers for a cool game of tag, load up the squirt guns and super soakers and make sure everyone stays drenched. Then take a refreshing break in the wading pool. your own backyard under the stars Take full advantage of the peaceful summer nights and camp out in your backyard. Kick off the evening by watching the sun set, then build a bonfire [if it’s permitted in your area], roast marshmallows, and gaze at the stars. Bring out your guide to the stars and see what you can spot: the Little Dipper, Hercules, or Sagittarius. croquet champs Set up this outdoor game that the whole family can play. Then hold a summer’s-end family croquet match. Give handicaps to each family member based on their most recent scores for a game that’s fair to all. up, up, and away Is the wind hampering your fun? It won’t be for long. Make the most of that breeze and get your kite up in the air.

step right up Organize a backyard carnival to raise funds for your favorite charity. The whole family will have a ball putting on this event. Hang posters in local businesses and submit a press release to your local radio station and newspaper. Ask friends and neighbors to help man the booths and set up games such as a bean-bag toss or number wheel, a baked-goods stand, fortune telling, face painting, and refreshments. green thumbs Make summer gardening a family affair.

Ask each member to choose a favorite vegetable to plant. If you’re getting a late start, look for starter plants that have already sprouted. Work together to get the garden ready and plant it, then give each person his or her own responsibility for keeping it up: watering, pulling weeds, picking ripe produce, cleaning it and preparing it to eat or store. swiss family who? What’s a backyard without a hideout or special place to kick back? Little ones will thrill at building a tree house or fort. Older kids will look forward to a covered hangout, such as a gazebo, for visiting with friends. Whatever you build, have the whole family pitch in. Small children can feel a part

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“ My smile has brought out the model inside of me.”

Visit www.we-ortho.com or call (701) 293-5300 to take the next step towards a better smile. WE can do it.

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on the minds of moms | june • july twenty eighteen

this & that of the project by carrying small materials, dispensing nails, and occasionally swinging the hammer. out and about dancin’ in the street Summer abounds with fairs and festivals along riverfronts and in the streets. Enjoy live music, new foods, boating and ski shows, magic acts, and arts and crafts. Look for upcoming festivals in the entertainment section of your newspaper or pick up an event guide from your state travel bureau or chamber of commerce. batter up Family fun centers offer a variety of recreation for the whole family. Get ready to practice your batting swing, holler “fore,” speed around the race track, bump another boat, or have some wacky golfin’ fun.

Thunder Road in Fargo is the place to start, www. thunderroadfargo.com.

performing arts in the park Unwind listening to a summer concert in the park or taking in a movie under the stars.

These events are often under-publicized so contact area parks for a summer schedule. FM area park districts, www.fargoparks.com, www.wfparks.org, and www. cityofmoorhead.com/departments/parks-recreation, have an amazing calendar of events, big wheels and small Paved trails are popping up everywhere: in parks, along riverbanks, and even through town. Pull out your bikes and roller blades and take advantage of these smooth paths. For a better work out and to keep everyone moving at an equal pace, have small children ride bikes while older ones and parents push off on their blades.

Kimberly Blaker is a parenting and lifestyle freelance writer. She also writes a blog, The Young Gma's Guide to Parenting at www.theyounggma.com.

recycled treasures Join the craze and spend the day rummaging for treasures. This is a great way for kids to get the most out of their limited earnings and to teach them the importance of recycling and how to get the best value for their money.

www.onthemindsofmoms.com

june • july twenty eighteen | on the minds of moms

17

food for thought

photo: thuen studios  | scott thuen

cilantro lime rice shared by | kari klingsporn hitterdal

T

his isn’t the typical cooking method for rice. By simmering it with an open lid, not unlike a risotto preparation, the rice becomes a bit creamier than typical Tex-Mex rice. The finished product certainly packs a flavorful punch full of fresh flavors, so you could cut the cilantro, garlic, and lime in half, but I wouldn’t recommend it. Serve as a side for your favorite Mexican menu, use inside burritos, layer into a burrito bowl, or double the cilantro-lime purée and use half as a marinade for grilled fish or chicken served with cilantro lime rice, of course! prep time: 5 mins cook time: 20 mins total time: 25 mins

you need: 1 cup white rice 2 cups chicken stock [or vegetable stock] 1 cup cilantro, ends chopped off 2 limes, juiced 3 garlic cloves, peeled 1/2 teaspoon salt 2-4 tablespoons extra virgin olive oil how to: Heat up one tablespoon of the oil in a medium saucepan on medium-high heat. Sauté 1 cup of rice in the saucepan until lightly browned. Add 2 cups of stock and 1/2 teaspoon

salt to the rice. Bring the rice and stock to a boil. Reduce the heat to a light simmer, allow the rice to simmer until the liquid is absorbed, stirring occasionally, about 15 minutes.

Once the liquid is absorbed into the rice, turn off heat and cover, letting rice sit in its own steam for 5 minutes.

Meanwhile, while rice is simmering, add lime juice, garlic cloves, and 1-2 tablespoons oil in a blender. Whirl the ingredients together until well blended, adding a bit more oil if the cilantro and garlic aren’t finely chopped. Once the rice is finished steaming, add the lime cilantro mixture to the cooked rice and mix thoroughly, adding salt to taste.

Sprinkle some chopped cilantro on top if you wish and serve!

feeding your family TIP: There is a lot of talk lately in the media around eating less meat. This topic isn’t just buzz; the scientifically backed evidence support many reasons to eat less meat. We Upper-Midwesterners love meat. We eat lots of meat….perhaps too much? As a person with medical issues that ultimately forced me to give up meat 8 years ago, I’m here to tell you, it can be done, and food can still be enjoyed meat-free! After a long winter of roasts and stews, we are in the perfect season to experiment with eating less meat. Take your kids to one of the growing numbers of local farmer’s markets and let them choose vegetables and fruits to cook or grill. Encourage healthy habits by not making meat the main focus of meals- allow it to be a more healthily proportioned component of the meal. Just tweaking the amounts of meat consumed even just once a week will make a noticeable difference in your health, wallet, and our planet. Plus, any chance we can take to encourage trying new foods with our families is always a positive parenting move in my book!

Kari's passion for food, family, and fun has been with her since her upbringing on her beloved Big Floyd Lake near Detroit Lakes, MN. She earned Secondary Education degrees in both Social Studies and English from Concordia College in Moorhead, MN. She enjoyed a brief stint as a caterer and cooking instructor, but has proudly spent most of her motherhood as a stay-at-home mom. Her husband, Brent, and three children, Gunnar, Ava, and Ella, have all [mostly] been eager taste testers to whatever is on the table for dinner. However, these days, having a high schooler, a middle schooler, and a second grader is providing new challenges of feeding everyone homemade and healthy meals, as well as giving her oven an intense workout most weeknights!

june events

dogs and Pepsi products while supplies last. All are welcome! See you on the 5th at Roosevelt Park [1220 9th St N, Fargo],12th at Centennial Park [4101 25th St S, Fargo], and the 19th at Osgood School Park [5400 44th Av S, Fargo].

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Bookfest www.wfparks.org

3,10, 17 & 24

Healthy Moms for Healthy Babies www.sanfordhealth.org/ classes-and-events The Healthy Moms for Healthy Babies series at Sanford Southpointe Clinic [2400 32nd Av S, Fargo] will focus on giving you the tools to develop a healthy lifestyle now and to commit to lifelong changes.

Prenatal Yoga is offered 4pm-5pm.

5, 12 & 19

Party in the Park www.fargoparks.com

7, 14, 21 & 28

Park It! www.fargoparks.com Meet the Xcellent Art staff at the park and create take-home arts and crafts, 1pm4pm. The fun travels weekly to different neighborhoods. All supplies provided and different projects each week. See you on the 7th at Clara Barton Park [14516th St S, Fargo], the 14th at Village West Park [4415 9th Av Circle S, Fargo], the 21st at Elephant Park [100 19th Ave N, Fargo], and the 28th at Bennett Park [1900 58th Ave S, Fargo]. This is a FREE event. Adult supervision is required.

www.onthemindsofmoms.com

Join us in a different park each Tuesday night for an evening of family fun, 5:30pm-8pm.

Sing your favorite karaoke song, play in the bounce house, create a craft project, and get your face painted. Enjoy free hot

Get out and play…and read! This event brings the love of reading to a local park!

During this interactive evening at North Elmwood Park [500 13th Av W, West Fargo] 5pm-7pm, participants will read books, create crafts, meet a local author, and so much more! West Fargo Public Library will have books on site for families to check out and take home!

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on the minds of moms | june • july twenty eighteen

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Water Safety Day www.fargoparks.com Water Safety Day is a community initiative to increase water-safety awareness and to teach critical water safety skills to kiddos and their parents as we enter summer. Held 10am-11:30am at Davies Recreational Pool [7150 25th St S, Fargo], Island Park Pool [616 1st Av S, Fargo], Northside Recreation Pool [824 19th Av N, Fargo], Madison Pool & Splash Pad [1040 29th St N, Fargo], and Southwest Recreation Pool [1840 15th Av S, Fargo], events will include activities designed to teach kiddos to stay safe while having fun in the water, such as the “Throw, Don’t Go” strategy, back-floating skills, safe usage of life jackets, swim tests, general water safety skills, information for parents or daycares, and more! Admission to the event is free. Following the event, pools will open for the day at 1:00 pm [Island Park Pool at 1:30 pm] as scheduled with regular admission rates.

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Trout Fest www.fargoparks.com Youth age 15 and under will learn about fly fishing, casting, entomology, conservation, equipment demonstrations, and more at Trout Fest at Woodhaven North Park [4406 44th Av S, Fargo]. An awards presentation will follow the derby. Trout Fest is a catch-

and-release event. Bring your own rod and reel. Night crawlers are provided.

Complimentary Pepsi products available while supplies last. Adult supervision is recommended. Registration starts at 5:30pm with the derby beginning at 6:15pm.

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Bark in the Park www.wfparks.org Head to North Elmwood Park [500 13th Av W, West Fargo] 5pm-7:30pm with your pup and get ready for some fun! Awards will be presented to the Cutest Puppy, Best Groomed, Owner Dog Look-A-Like, Best Dressed, Best Trick, and most unusual breed. First place in each category will be eligible for Best of Show!

12 & 26

RiverArts www.moorheadparks.com There's always something to enjoy at Moorhead RiverArts, 5:30pm-8pm at Memorial Park [210 8th St N, Moorhead]!

Each night features free horse-drawn carriage rides, inflatable games, art and craft vendors, food, ice cream, hands-on activities, and more! All concerts begin at 6pm.

13

Father’s Day Craft www.courtsplus.org Still need a gift for Father’s Day? Stop by

Courts Plus Community Fitness [3491 University Dr S, Fargo], 5pm-7pm, and make one with your child. There will be projects available for all ages. Supplies will be provided. Watch your children be creative or participate with them !

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Midwest Kid Fest www.fargoparks.com Island Park [302 7th St S, Fargo] will be filled with music, laughter, and bright colors as children play and learn. All activities are FREE! The fest hosts 30 interactive educational booths, many carnival games, an entertainment stage, petting zoo, inflatables, and strolling entertainment.

Concessions are available for purchase.

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Block Party www.familywellness.org Do you have a little engineer age 3-9?

Head to Family Wellness [2960 Seter Parkway, Fargo], 5:45pm-7:45pm and will throw her curiosity into high gear as we create everything from tall towers to cars using blocks from the Imagination Playground. Drop your children off at Family Wellness for a date night or just a night to yourself as your child creates a one-of-a-kind masterpiece. Space is limited! Register online. $7 Members; $12 Nonmembers.

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Celebrate Father’s Day with your favorite father in the ceramics studio at Plains Art Museum [704 1St Av N, Fargo]! Create a pot, 1pm-3pm, while learning basic hand-building and decorating techniques.

Perfect for kids 6+ and their adult(s) who love pots that could hold popcorn, soup, or candy. This program is designed for an adult and child group to create ceramic projects alongside each other. Each adult and child will create a project and need to register individually for a spot. Members: $ 15.00; Non-Members $ 19.00. Register online.

Grab the family and head to Rendezvous Park [1055 32nd Av E, West Fargo], 5:30pm7:30pm for a performance of Slamabama, take a ride in the horse-drawn carriages, visit the petting zoo, learn basics of roping, and check out the barrel-car ride. Inflatable games and pony rides available for $2 each. Hotdog, chips, and beverage sold for $1/plate.

Pots with Pops www.plainsart.org

18 & 25

Movie Night in the Park www.fargoparks.com Bring a blanket, pillow, or lawn chair and enjoy a starlit night of fun at Island Park [302 7th St S, Fargo] on the 18th and at Trollwood Park [3664 Elm St N, Fargo] on the 25th.

Watch our special feature on an inflatable screen in the park. The movie starts when the sun goes down [approximately 9pm].

Free popcorn while supplies last.

Wild West Jamboree www.wfparks.org

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Community Play Day www.fargoparks.com Free Play for all ages at Rheault Farm [2902 25th St S, Fargo], 9am-11am and 1pm-3pm!

Play yard games, do a take-home craft, climb on the playground, and move to music outside in the sunshine! Daycares are welcome. Adult supervision is required.

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Kids Healthy Cooking: Patriotic Fruit Pizza www.familywellnessfargo.org

june events

30

Ride to Fight Suicide www.afsp.org/FargoRide Registration for the Fargo Ride to Fight Suicide will begin at 10am at West Fargo Harley Davidson [701 Christianson Dr W, West Fargo]. Proceeds benefit local and national suicide prevention and awareness programs of the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention. To register and to learn more, please go to afsp.org/FargoRide.

Bake a healthier cookie crust and top it with red, white, and blue fruit to honor our country’s Birthday! Ages 5-12 come to Family Wellness [2960 Seter Parkway, Fargo], 6pm-7pm, and have some cooking fun! $12 members; $20 non-members.

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21

july events

3, 10, 17, 24 & 31 Party in the Park www.fargoparks.com

Join us in a different park each Tuesday night for an evening of family fun, 5:30pm-8pm.

Sing your favorite karaoke song, play in the bounce house, create a craft project, and get your face painted. Enjoy free hot dogs and Pepsi products while supplies last. All are welcome! See you on the 3rd at Lewis & Clark Park [1807 16th St S, Fargo],10th at Clara Barton Park [1451 6th St S, Fargo], 17th at Village West Park with Dog Park [4415 9th Av Circle S, Fargo], 24th at Madison Park [3010 11th Av N, Fargo] and 31st at Bennett Park [1900 58th Av S, Fargo].

4

9, 23 & 31

Celebrate Independence Day with Bonanzaville [1351 Main Av W, West Fargo]! The day starts off at 7:30am with the Vietnam Veterans 5k/10k run/walk.

Village activities will run from 10am to 5pm and will kick off with a historic shooting of the anvil. These activities include train rides, horse-drawn wagon rides, bouncy houses, kid’s crafts, historical children’s games, face painting, a parade at 2pm, and an assortment of live demonstrations.

Fireworks show will start at 10:30 pm sharp!

Ages 5-12 come to Family Wellness [2960 Seter Parkway, Fargo], 6pm-7pm, and have some cooking fun! On the 9th use bananas to make healthy ice cream, frozen chocolate and nut butter bites, and a smoothie! On the 23rd dice a colorful assortment of fruits, and then top whole-grain waffles in a beautiful rainbow design! And on the 31st build your own sundae with homemade ice cream and a variety of fun toppings! $12 members; $20 non-members.

Bonanzaville 4th of July www.bonanzaville.org

4

5656Ooh & Ahh www.mhdmba.org The Moorhead Business Association hosts its annual fireworks display at Scheels Field on the Minnesota State University Moorhead Campus [1104 7th Av S, Moorhead]. Concert at 8:30pm followed by the fireworks at 10:30pm!

10 & 24

9 & 30

RiverArts www.moorheadparks.com

Movie Night in the Park www.fargoparks.com

There's always something to enjoy at Moorhead RiverArts, 5:30pm-8pm at Memorial Park [210 8th St N, Moorhead]!

Each night features free horse-drawn carriage rides, inflatable games, arts and craft vendors, food, ice cream, hands-on activities, and more! All concerts begin at 6pm.

Bring a blanket, pillow, or lawn chair and enjoy a starlit night of fun at Island Park [302 7th St S, Fargo]. Watch our special feature on an inflatable screen in the park.

The movie starts when the sun goes down [approximately 9pm]. Free popcorn while supplies last.

9, 12, 16, 19, 23, 26 & 30

10, 17 & 24

Fresh produce, berries, herbs, meats, jellies, flowers, hand-crafted items, and agriculture products will be available for purchase 3:30pm-6:30pm at the Rustad Recreation Center [601 26th Av E, West Fargo].

Ages 15+ come to Family Wellness [2960 Seter Parkway, Fargo], 6:30pm-8pm, and have some Paleo cooking fun! On the 10th reduce refined carbohydrates and

Farmers' Market & Beyond www.wfparks.org

support balanced blood sugar with a delicious paleo breakfast! We will be making pancakes, muffins, and other breakfast favorites. On the 17th discuss paleo substitutions in everyday cooking!

Pasta, breading, and breads are delicious but don’t support our optimal health. We will be preparing paleo substitutions for some of these dinnertime favorites. And on the 24th cut refined sugars and amp up the nutrient density of your favorite desserts while making lemon bars, brownies, and a coconut-milk ice cream. $12 members; $20 non-members.

Kids Healthy Cooking Class www.familywellnessfargo.org

10, 17, 19, 24, 26 & 31 Car Seat Check www.sanfordhealth.org/ classes-and-events

Adult Healthy Cooking: Paleo 101 www.familywellnessfargo.org

Statistically, four out of five car seats are installed incorrectly. Is yours installed correctly? Don’t chance it! Head to The Safety Shoppe [601 39th St N, Fargo]

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on the minds of moms | june • july twenty eighteen

where trained technicians will be available Tuesdays 10:24am-7:15pm and Thursday 1:15pm-5pm to teach parents, grandparents, and caregivers how to use and install their car seats correctly. You may bring your child with you if desired and the seat can be fitted to your child properly. The events are free and open to the public. Space is limited and appointments are required.

12

Dad’s Basic Training www.essentiahealth. org/classes-events This one-evening class at Essentia Health [3000 32nd Av S, Fargo], 6:30pm-8:30pm, is designed just for ‘Dads to be’ and is taught by an experienced Dad. Topics covered include: adjustments to fatherhood, how to support Mom, basics of infant care, the benefits of Rooming-In for you and your baby, the initiation of The Sacred Hour, and benefits of Skin-to-Skin. Classroom location will be posted on a sign in the main hospital lobby. Register online.

12, 19 & 26

Park It! www.fargoparks.com Meet the Xcellent Art staff at the park and create take-home arts and crafts, 1pm4pm. The fun travels weekly to different neighborhoods. All supplies provided and different projects each week. See

you on the 12th at Brunsdale Park [1702 27th Av S, Fargo], the 19th at Roosevelt Park [1220 9th St N, Fargo], and the 26th at Kennedy Park [4501 42nd St S, Fargo].

This is a FREE event. Adult supervision is required.

17

Hawaiian Beach Blast www.wfparks.org Dress in Hawaiian attire and say aloha to your neighbors while enjoying some summer fun! Bring a lawn chair and/or blanket to this evening of fun at Rendezvous Park [1022 32nd Av NW, West Fargo], 5:30pm-7:30pm.

18

Community Play Day www.fargoparks.com Free play for all ages at Rheault Farm [2902 25th St S, Fargo], 9am-11am and 1pm-3pm!

Play yard games, do a take-home craft, climb on the playground, and move to music outside in the sunshine! Daycares are welcome. Adult supervision is required.

19

Summer Splash www.moorheadparks.com Jump in for an afternoon of fun with free inflatable games, a diving contest, and so much more to help you stay cool at the Moorhead Municipal Pool [[800 19th St S, Moorhead], 2pm-4pm.

23

ArtNight www.wfparks.org Get out and create! This outdoor, all-ages event will feature local artists, food, yard games, free youth art projects and live music at Armour Park [2nd Av NW/5th St NW, West Fargo] 5pm-7pm. Sponsored by the Creative Plains Foundation and Dakota Playground.

july events

31

Scavenger Hunt www.wfparks.org Gather a team and check in at the Veterans Memorial Arena [1201 7th Av E, West Fargo] at 6pm. Pre-registration is recommended.

Enjoy a free hotdog, chips, and beverage before the hunt begins! Teams will be given a list of clues and sent out to explore the parks. At each location team members will need to capture their visit on camera to

show the judges when they return to the Veterans Memorial Arena. All teams who complete these tasks and return to the Veterans Memorial Arena by 8pm will be entered in a drawing for the Grand Prize.

All event listings displayed within OTMOM are carefully selected to provide diverse options for families. More events found online at www.onthemindsofmoms.com/event-calendar. It is always a good idea to call ahead to confirm the information provided. Although it is not possible to list every event happening in the FM area, we encourage organizations to submit events for consideration to events@onthemindsofmoms.com

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• Nutrition

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23

ten little chickens photography

shutterbug

exposures by j.linnea

exposures by j.linnea

ten little chickens photography

ten little chickens photography

exposures by j.linnea

when dad’s depressed

www.onthemindsofmoms.com

gettin’ through it

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on the minds of moms | june • july twenty eighteen

gettin’ through it story by | heather bjur

I

f you put a frog in a pot of boiling water, he’ll jump right out, or so the story goes. But if you put the frog in a pot and slowly turn up the heat, he’ll sit there and boil to death, unaware of the incremental temperature changes taking place in and around his body.

When you think about someone who is depressed, what comes to mind? Sadness, crying, loss of interest in normal activities, overeating or not eating much at all, oversleeping or not being able to sleep are common symptoms that most people associate with depression.

But when you think about this depressed person, who comes to mind? Is it a woman, or a man?

Those symptoms of depression are usually associated with women, and women are the ones who are more likely to go to a doctor or counselor for treatment of depression. But this doesn’t mean that men don’t experience depression, too. It just might look a little different.

Men in American culture are typically not socialized to pay close attention to their emotions and to be in

tune with their interior worlds. Why? It’s not “manly.”

They’ve been told, “Be tough, boys don’t cry.” And the weight of those words on a man’s heart often keeps him from feeling and connecting, leaving him with a gaping hole in his soul where his emotions should be.

So when the pressures of life become too great, the drive to provide is overwhelming, and the fear of failure follows him around he has no words to connect to the anguish, no means to escape the dark prison walls that seem to be closing in on him.

And the heat gets turned up.

But he doesn’t always know it. Like the frog in the pot with the heat slowly rising, a subtle, covert depression sets in, flying below the radar. What often begins to manifest are self-medicating techniques…hours in front of the TV or game console, late nights at work, or too many nights at the bar. To escape the increasing darkness inside, he goes for something to numb the pain, dull the itch, assuage the angst.

As his partner, you might notice his increased irritability

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gettin’ through it and frustration. He snaps at the toddler, kicks the dog, or gives you the silent treatment. Some days are better and then you wonder if it’s all in your head. But eventually the distance grows, the silence increases, and the tension rises.

Typically socialized to notice changing emotions, the women in his life might be an early warning alarm.

Wife, sister, or mom might ask some probing questions.

Questions he’ll often shrug off, not able to describe or identify the struggle within. “I’m fine,” is his customary answer. The relationship begins to suffer.

But it doesn’t look like depression! Not like the depression in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual that counselors and doctors use to diagnose mental-health disorders. That’s because this covert depression hasn’t manifested into overt depression yet. And it may not for years. Because in order for overt depression to show up, the feelings must be felt. If we numb-out and self-medicate, what one counselor has called “narcotizing,” the real depression will never be dealt with. The heat will continue to rise.

Men struggling with depression will often say that their primary emotion is frustration or anger. These are emotions that men are “allowed” to have in our culture.

Sadly, men have more “permission” to feel anger and frustration than any other emotion. Maybe what he wants is your undivided attention and a soft place to land in his relationship; but unfortunately that’s not often what he receives.

When I speak with women regarding their man’s apparent

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depression, they’re often bewildered and resentful. Not understanding what happened to the guy they married, they feel desperate to try to communicate. After repeated attempts to get through to him, they often end up resorting to harsh demands or verbal sparring matches. Believing he’s brushing them off purposefully, they sometimes grow bitter and withdrawn, feeling somewhat depressed themselves.

So what can be done to stop this awful downward spiral?

Is there any hope? There is, but first people have to know what they’re dealing with. It can be very difficult for a man to find words to describe his emotions, and if he believes he will be met with ridicule or shaming, he’ll never uncover what’s happening beneath the surface.

A good environment for healing is one that welcomes all emotions, even the really difficult ones. Give him permission to be wherever he is emotionally and try to meet him with compassion.

One tip I often tell clients is to “say what you see.” If you’ve been noticing changes for a while, it’s important to gently bring those up. It might sound something like this: “Honey, I’ve been noticing that you’ve been really quiet and withdrawn lately, barely interacting with the kids. It seems you’re checked out most of the time, with some sort of distraction in front of you, like the online gambling site I found on the computer yesterday. That doesn’t seem like you. Are you feeling okay? I’d love to listen if you want to talk.”

Sometimes things become more destructive. It’s not uncommon for a man who spirals into depression to

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gettin’ through it start drinking more than normal, or to spend more hours at work than he usually does. These are both avoidance tactics – if he spends time drinking at the bar with his coworkers, or if he’s working hard on a project at the office, the nagging darkness inside of him quiets down just a bit. However, it doesn’t stay quiet long, for once the project is over or he wakes up the next morning, he’s back to square one.

Another wonderful thing you can do is teach your boys and young men to navigate their emotions. Give them reminders that it’s okay to have hard feelings, and it’s normal to cry when you’re upset. Make it a clear family policy that “we talk about our feelings and any feeling is welcome.” Model this with your own life, being honest and open when you’re excited, grieving, angry, or annoyed.

We don’t have to give our children all the complicated details of what’s happening inside us, but sharing a bit can be immensely helpful. For a child to know that an adult can have a hard emotion without having a tantrum, a screaming match, or a sulking pity party is vital for growing emotionally healthy young adults.

Finally, if it seems that depression has been slowly sucking the life out of your man, talk to him about getting help.

There’s no shame in seeing a counselor or a doctor, trying some medication or some therapy, or both. Best practices indicate a combination of counseling and medication for optimal outcomes. It’s also a great idea for both partners to get some individual counseling, and maybe eventually couples’ counseling. Living with a depressed person is depressing, and it’s bound to take a toll on your relationship.

If you’re the wife or girlfriend of a guy who seems to be emotionally faltering, know that you don’t have to do this alone. You shouldn’t do it alone. I walk alongside women every week, helping them navigate the emotional and relational landscape of depression in their households.

Please don’t hesitate to reach out for help; these things rarely get better left alone. *This information is not meant to diagnose depression, only to help readers understand some of the possible scenarios involved with depression. This article cannot take the place of a face-to-face visit with your primary care provider or licensed counselor. As always, if you or someone you know feels like harming themselves or someone else, call 911 or your local healthcare facility immediately.

More information on Men and Depression can be found at my website—heatherbjur.com Originally from Iowa, Heather married a North Dakota boy and found herself being transplanted to what her Iowan friends jokingly call ‘the frozen tundra.’ While she doesn’t love the weather, she does love her career as a marriage and family therapist at Valley Christian Counseling Center in Fargo which is a source of profound fulfillment in her life. When she’s not in her counseling office, she can be found as a regular guest on KVLY’s North Dakota Today talking about healthy relationships and mental health issues, or on Life 97.9 discussing topics that affect the family. She’s lived most of the things she writes about and is thankful to be able to use the challenges and brokenness she’s faced to help others. You can find more of her writing at heatherbjur. com. At home, she finds herself outnumbered- the only girl in the midst of the guys- Chris, her husband of almost 14 years, her two sweet boys, Elijah [9] and Ezra [7], and golden retriever Judah.

www.onthemindsofmoms.com

Have You Registered for Kindergarten Yet? Register online at: www.fargo.k12.nd.us/registration Once online registration has been completed, families MUST bring their child’s certified birth certificate, current immunization record, and proof of residence(utility bill) to the school their child will attend.

Please call ahead of your visit to the school.

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29

B

orn and raised in Moorhead, MN, Joel Paulsen married his high school sweetheart, Nichole, 15 years ago. A civil engineer, Joel has spent the last 15 years working as a consulting engineer providing planning and engineering

services to cities, counties, state, and federal agencies. “I have a passion for helping people and I am blessed to be able to do that daily by working on projects that affect people, including clean water, sanitation, transportation, storm water, and flood control,” he says. This father of four, Keira [13], Trevor [11], Finn [9], and Ellie [7], also serves on the Moorhead City Council and when he isn’t spending time with family, working, or dedicated to public service, Joel enjoys spending time with a few Engineers Without Borders [EWB] chapters. He is the professional mentor for the EWB-North Dakota State University chapter and the president and founder of the EWB-Red River Valley Professionals.

photos: exposures by j.linnea | josette hayes

joel paulsen age 38, moorhead.mn

i’m a big fan of… hockey! I played some youth hockey growing up in Moorhead and I love the dedication and commitment the game requires. Like most sports, there are valuable life lessons that can be taught. I coach for both of my boys and try to use every opportunity to teach both the game of hockey and also those important life lessons. Last month we were at a tournament with my oldest son and our team was down 6-0 in the second period. Kids his age usually get pretty down at that stage and they really fall off a cliff mentally. The other coaches and I explained that they need to focus on fun, forget about the score, and just play hockey. To everyone’s surprise our team came back and won 7-6. The kids learned a very valuable life lesson—Never Give Up!

for me father’s day means… a celebration of positive male role models for the next generation. However, we are never too old to thank our own fathers, grandfathers, and great grandfathers. To me Father's Day is that special day of the year that you can celebrate all the hard work and insight that our fathers give us. A day of appreciation. I hope to spend mine surrounded by my kids doing something outside together!

worth the drive!

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growing up the smartest person i knew was… my father, Jim. He always had an answer for everything. He taught me everything I needed to know about cars, boats, and building construction.

Ask him any question about any of those topics and

he will know the answer. I think back to when I was small and had that wonder of amazement about how smart my dad is and how curious I was.

my kiddos have definitely taught me… that time is precious. As a young parent, people tell you all the time 'they grow up so fast!' I would say yes, yes, they do and honestly there were moments where I would think, 'I can't wait until they grow out of this stage!' However, now that I have a teenager that is dangerously close to being able to drive legally everything does really get put into perspective and you realize how fast they actually do grow

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like to garden. I am terrible at it, but I enjoy the spring time and planning out the garden and trying new plants. I have a time management problem with my garden though and the weeds usually win the battle. However, I usually end up with a good crop of tomatoes that I love to create homemade salsa from and can it for cold winter nights!

rad dad

rad dad up and how meaningful all the small moments are with them. The biggest thing they have taught me?

Slow down and enjoy the ride.

one of my wife’s best qualities is… my wife is amazing! She has so many awesome qualities. It always astounds me how she can keep the family running so flawlessly. She works part time as a Labor and Delivery nurse, and also as a Noonday Collection ambassador, which allows her the flexibility to do all things mom while helping people around the world. Without her organizational skills and unique ability to be in two places at once, I don’t know how we could function as a family. She is my rock of support and I deeply admire her!

i hope one day my kids…

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will donate their time and talents to people in need. The work that I have done through Engineers without Borders has changed my perspective on life greatly. Once I experienced poverty in Guatemala I could not turn a blind eye and walk away. I knew I could help, as much as I can, and even though it feels like such a small contribution to such a vast

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on the minds of moms | june • july twenty eighteen

problem, every little bit makes a difference. I hope to bring my children on a future project trip in Central America so they can experience the beauty of the land and people and realize how they can be a part of improving lives stuck in the cycle of extreme poverty. All my children have big hearts and I know they will do great things with their life!

in twenty years i will probably be… traveling with my wife! We love to travel and experience new adventures together. We both want to see the world, experience and learn from other cultures and give back where we can. Once the children are out of the house we have discussed moving to different locations for a period of time and immersing ourselves through our work and play.

my wife would say my best parenting quality is… being “Fun Dad!” Sometimes it causes issues when we are not on the same page but generally I think she likes to watch us all have fun! I want to make sure our kids know how to have fun and lighten up about all the little worries that life brings us.

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33

oh by the way

a sports mom’s confession story by | deb uglem

www.onthemindsofmoms.com

I

was sitting behind the glass at the YMCA swimming pool paging through the rolled-up magazine that had become a permanent fixture in my purse. I had learned it was nice to have several options to the pass the time.

This was before Instagram, Snapchat, and Twitter, so I had People, InStyle, and Real Simple. That’s when I overheard a mom say her daughter had just finished a private lesson to improve her flip turns and how it was for sure going to shave seconds off her times. I immediately scolded myself. Why didn’t I think of that? My daughter could certainly get better at her flip turns and who doesn’t want to shave a couple seconds off their 100-meter backstroke? Don’t worry, I talked myself down. My daughter was eight. It’s times like that when it hits you. Wait! Am I one of those crazy moms?

I confess: I probably am.

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on the minds of moms | june • july twenty eighteen

I am sure you have a mom in mind who fits the mold.

The mom who does nothing but drive to practices and games, buy sporting equipment, and think her kid is the best thing to happen to sports since Gabrielle Reece or Wayne Gretzky. I may be guilty. The fact is I love sports. I’m competitive and I think winning is fun. I have always wanted my kids to experience the joy I had competing. And, of course, they would build character and friendships, appreciate the power of hard work, and learn how to win and lose gracefully. So as a family we were all in. I had vowed to be the parent who was supportive but not over the top. The parent who cheers loudly for everyone and nods proudly when other parents comment on my kids’ play.

It seemed easy at first. I am not going to lie—when I was at my busiest filling roles as bus driver, cook, counselor, and coach, I was at the top of my game. We were on

just a thought time [most of the time], laundry was done [at least jerseys, anyway], and meals were in the crockpot. Not to mention my energy level was through the roof, and with the high amounts of adrenaline running through me at every game, it didn’t even matter that I wasn’t hitting the gym regularly. We were meeting and having fun with families that are now our life-long friends.

Then it happens. The intensity sneaks up on you. One day you’re smiling as you watch your kids lying in the middle of the rink eating ice shavings and the next thing you know you can’t sleep because they lost in overtime.

You are so invested you find yourself sitting on the bleachers arching your back as if you’re approaching for the kill. Every muscle in your body is tense as you brace yourself for a check. You look around to see if anyone noticed that you literally jumped for a block or that you rolled your eyes at the coach’s substitution.

That’s another thing that sneaks up on you: your brilliance. Suddenly you know everything about a game you never played. You try to separate your children’s accomplishments from your own, but you can’t. Their wins are your wins. Their losses are your losses.

I like to remember myself as the mom who had everything under control. I see myself walking into the rink, gym, or pool [insert any athletic forum, really] relaxed and not caring about win/lose records, just enjoying the moment. But the reality is I am also the mom who once told her 12-year-old to “bring it!” [It just fell out of my mouth. Not my proudest moment.] And if you add up travel time, money spent, and the amount of times we

double booked ourselves in the name of sport, some would find the numbers staggering.

My kids have made teams, missed cuts, and have been benched too many times to count and I wouldn’t change any of those experiences. Some of the best conversations I have had with them came after games.

They include tears, high fives, gut checks, and lessons in perseverance. There was also anger, disagreement, and disappointment. The constant was mom and dad listening, not always solving, but always involved. So completely invested that we could feel their excitement and, unfortunately, also the pain. The result is a closeness we wouldn’t have without these shared experiences.

I know I didn’t do everything right, or everything wrong, I just did my version and hope the scars aren’t too deep.

So as Billy Joel sings, “you may be right, I may be crazy.”

It’s odd now because I really can’t pinpoint when it ended.

The craziness slowed down and was simply gone one day. And when I look back I don’t miss the wins, awards, or recognition. I miss the chaos, excitement, talks, and car time. If asked to do it again, I’d say, “Bring it!”

Raised in Finley, ND, Deb has called the Fargo-Moorhead area her home for the last 17 years. A graduate of Drake University in Des Moines, IA, with a degree in Journalism and Mass Communications, she is currently founder and CEO of Jane Fifteen Thirty, a women's golf clothing line.

Deb loves the distraction that writing brings and thanks her children, Jake [24], Tony [23], Nick [23], and Emily [21] for inspiration. Deb and her husband Tim like to spend their free time with their kids and on the golf course.

www.onthemindsofmoms.com

june • july twenty eighteen | on the minds of moms

35

the power of

joy

photos: ten little chickens photography | renee clasen

kelly krenzel

story by | sheri kleinsasser stockmoe

H

er grandma’s yard was a masterpiece of blooming wonder. It also served as a classroom for Kelly Krenzel as a young girl. She remembers the smell of the fresh earth mixed with the perfume of the flowers, the kinks in her knees and back as she spent hours picking weeds, the dirt in her fingernails, and how it felt to receive a simple approving smile from grandma for a job well done.

Looking back, it taught her the benefit of hard work, the power and beauty in flowers, and the joy that comes from serving others.

Kelly Krenzel was very close to her grandma Freda. “She was very much like a mom to me,” Kelly says with a smile

the power of joy Originally from Bismarck, Kelly’s parents divorced when she was a year old. Every other weekend and six weeks in the summer Kelly and her older brother would stay with their dad and travel the 60 miles to Linton, ND to visit Grandma Freda.

“My Dad worked an overnight job,” Kelly explains. “So, during the summer, instead of hiring a babysitter to watch us all night and part of the day while he slept, we stayed with Grandma.”

the reluctant start July 2016, Kelly, a marketing and communications specialist at Hospice of the Red River Valley, and husband, Scott were busy settling into parenthood with then seven-month old son Henry. “I was clearly not getting a lot of sleep because I thought, 'I have this idea swirling around my head about a community project!'"

Her idea? Could she blend her love of flowers and her desire to help others? Could she repurpose donated flowers into individual bouquets to be given to people with the intent of simply spreading more joy? Sure, she loves flowers, but she already has a job and a family… crazy idea, right? Well, she told Scott anyway.

“She made me feel like the most special and loved little girl. She taught me how to cook—which I don't use that skill, my husband does all of the cooking,” Kelly says with a laugh. “But she taught me how to bake, she taught me how to iron, she taught me how to clean, and “I told her to run with it!” Scott recalls. “It totally fit her most significant to me, she taught me how to garden.” personality. Bringing joy to other people is Kelly.”

www.onthemindsofmoms.com

Freda’s yard was filled with flower beds. And beautiful flower beds don’t just happen. They need tending. On Monday Kelly and her grandma would start on one

end of the yard weeding flower beds and by Friday they would have covered the entire yard. “I'd rest for the weekend, and start all over again come Monday,” she says matter-of-factly. “But it was in those moments that she really stirred the servant-heart in me. It made her so happy, and the positive accolades she gave me, I just wanted to do nice things for her.”

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on the minds of moms | june • july twenty eighteen

Okay, but maybe she needed to talk to an expert. Kelly brought the idea to her dear friend, Christy Tehven, who is also the owner of Love Always Floral in Fargo.

“I told her to GO FOR IT!” Christy recalls. “The idea is brilliant and it solves a problem in our area while using current resources that would have otherwise gone to waste.”

Others to whom Kelly confided her idea had the same sentiment: “Why can't you do this?" They were right.

She could do it.

the power of joy “I'm not a florist. But I do know how it feels when someone simply recognizes my value as a human being,” Kelly quickly points out. “I love flowers and I love making people feel good.” more than flowers Kelly started Hope Blooms, which repurposes donated flowers by rearranging them into individual bedside bouquets and delivers them to community members in need.

Scott cleaned out the basement office of their home and set up two sawhorses covered with a piece of plywood to serve as a work station for Kelly. Christy started asking her brides if they would like to donate to Kelly’s cause. She also helped Kelly learn the basics of floral arranging.

“I just started accepting floral donations and would work on them when my son would sleep,” Kelly recalls of the early days of Hope Blooms.

Through it all Kelly has confirmed something she always knew…it's not just flower arranging; it’s about showing others that someone cares.

“No one should feel lonely,” she explains. “I believe it is a basic need for everyone to have that human acknowledgement and feel like you belong to something bigger than yourself. And everyone deserves to feel joy and to feel included.”

Kelly is passionate about letting people know they

matter and that they're not alone. Hope Blooms delivers to a variety of organizations in our area. “We bring flowers in for Hospice of the Red River Valley patients, nursing-home residents, memory-care residents, and assisted-living facilities,” she says. “We also bring flowers to the women at the YWCA Emergency Shelter; some of those women have never even received flowers a day in their life.”

june • july twenty eighteen | on the minds of moms

39

www.onthemindsofmoms.com

“I told a few friends about it, and the ones who expressed interest would come over and help me. And I cleaned out my canning supplies and started using those jars.

I would hand-write tags, ‘Have a wonderful day,’ and hand-cut them. It started as this passion project to bring a little extra light and love to our community,” she says.

“We built this completely from nothing.”

Hope Blooms has flourished via word of mouth, accepting flowers after business events, weddings, and working directly with florists and families. “We accept flowers from funerals, which has been a really beautiful experience,” Kelly explains. “Sometimes families will come in and we'll go through that process of repurposing the flowers together and then lining it up for them to make the deliveries. It can be a completely cathartic and healing experience for a family.”

the power of joy They have also teamed up with the Roger Maris Cancer Center and Valley Senior Service’s Meals-on- Wheels program. “We've made floral crowns for kids at Sanford Children's Hospital and then brought bouquets for their parents,” Kelly proudly says. “We have also delivered to people staying at the Ronald McDonald House and residents of The Perry Center, which is a maternity home for women.”

Thanksgiving morning the family helped deliver the bouquets to a local facility. “The first person who opened the door was this sweet lady named Joanne, and she had just lost her husband,” Kelly remembers. The woman was brought to tears. “She said to the family, ‘I got up today and didn’t know how I was gonna get through the day, and then you came here.’”

Danielle Teigen sees Hope Blooms as a reflection of the caring, generous person her friend is. “Hope Blooms is Kelly's way of giving the Fargo-Moorhead community a wonderful warm hug.”

Kelly remembers another delivery that contained only one bouquet with yellow roses. “The man who received that bouquet gave yellow roses to his wife, every week they were married, and he had recently lost her,” Kelly explains. “He never received flowers before, and when he did he received the bouquet with yellow roses. He was brought to tears.”

www.onthemindsofmoms.com

where they belong “I always say the flowers end up where they're supposed to be,” Kelly says with a sweet smile. And she has stories to confirm it.

The week of Thanksgiving 2016 a local family contacted Kelly. They explained their father had passed away suddenly from a heart attack and his adult children and wife wanted to donate the flowers from his funeral.

“I was still in my own basement, so I invited this family over to help and I just listened to their stories,” Kelly recalls. They talked about their Dad and husband, sharing stories and remembering things he loved.

“Maybe they're shedding some tears, but also sharing laughter and good moments. There is healing in that.”

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on the minds of moms | june • july twenty eighteen

Yep, they end up where they're supposed to be. officially growing August 2017 Hope Blooms became an official 501c3 nonprofit organization and recently moved out of Kelly’s basement into a temporary space provided by a donor. to a space provided by a donor. “I have an incredible working board of directors” she says, which includes her friends, Danielle serving as president and Christy as vice president. “This amazing group of women have helped grow Hope Blooms and helped set up a solid foundation.”

“I think Hope Blooms has been successful so far because

lessons from her thegreatest power ofrace joy of how authentic Kelly is about why she started the formed still causes Kelly to shake her head at the fact organization and what she hopes to do with it,” Danielle that she actually started Hope Blooms. says. “Kelly just wants to remind people that they “I'm just so apprehensive about things if I don't know the matter—how can you not support her and Hope Blooms? outcome,” Kelly confesses. “It's really amazing that I took Everyone wants to know that they matter, and Kelly this leap of faith. It’s a testament to my husband and the has found an incredibly beautiful way to do just that.” power of a sisterhood. I've got this fierce group of strong “I spend an average of eight to ten hours per week, female friends. It’s because of the people who surround depending on what it is that needs to be done,” Kelly you and build you up that things get done. And if it weren’t says of her time commitment to Hope Blooms. “Some for them, there's no way I would have had the courage weeks are more, depending on how many events we have to do this myself.” going on, but I arrange all the volunteer events, and line “I thank my lucky stars I get to be friends with this up all the volunteers who work to deliver the flowers incredible and brave woman,” Christy says. “Kelly has or pick up bouquet jars to reuse, among other things.” worked so hard to make Hope Blooms possible and And Kelly is quick to point out, “Everything is 100% as successful as it is. Her dedication to the cause is volunteer and donor driven. I see Hope Blooms as genuine because she knows each bouquet truly makes being the community's. It's not mine, it's not anyone's. a difference to someone and she gets you to believe It belongs to the community.” that each person can make a difference.”

Hope Blooms volunteers must be 18 years old, able to stand for long periods of time, and “You have to love people and want to share your joy and your heart with others!” Kelly says with a smile.

“I've found through this experience to just say yes to the things that terrify you, because quite often that's exactly where you should be,” Kelly says. “It's uncomfortable, and I don't like that. I wanna say no, but every time I've said yes, more beautiful things have happened, and I feel like this is leading me on the path to exactly where I'm supposed to be.

Looking back at the last two years, the success Hope Blooms has had, the people impacted, and the friendships

To learn more, make a donation, or inquire about volunteering, visit www.hopeblooms.org. june • july twenty eighteen | on the minds of moms

41

www.onthemindsofmoms.com

Some of Kelly’s favorite volunteers are her family. From her father-in-law picking up jars around town to her mother and mother-in-law preparing Mother’s Day bouquets for women at a local shelter, to her husband. “I wasn’t scared,” Scott says looking back at the prospect “Scotty was my first volunteer, and he was a volunteer— I of Kelly starting Hope Blooms. “We thought it would be didn't volun-tell him to do anything!” she clarifies this little side project, but it’s turned into more than with a laugh. “He’s been so supportive, he's just been that. Seeing Kelly’s commitment to Hope Blooms and incredible. Taking this step to start Hope Blooms has where it is today, I am just extremely proud of her.” opened up this whole different window of possibility Looking ahead, Kelly’s goal is to serve more people, and connection that I never would have had.” continue to grow, have a permanent home for Hope Scott admits he didn’t realize what Hope Blooms would Blooms, raise money for a delivery van, get more people turn into or the influence it would have. “Yes, Hope engaged, and impact her own son by her actions.

Blooms is about spreading joy, kindness, and empathy, “It's incredibly important to me as a mom to be able but the volunteers, the people doing the giving, experito teach the value of having a servant heart, like my ence those things as well and they want to be more grandma taught me at a very young age,” Kelly says. “I kind, they feel greater empathy. I’m so proud of Kelly want Henry to see a world of possibility outside of himself and what she has created.” and see that you can make a difference just by being one power of giving person and how much we can gain in return by giving.”

Grandma Freda passed away last year. “Yes, she knew about Hope Blooms,” Kelly says as tears fill her eyes.

“She was so proud of me. It meant the world to me to know she was.”

ready, set, grow

story by | sheri kleinsasser stockmoe

H

ygiene is defined as 1] a science of the establishment and maintenance of health or 2] conditions or practices conducive to health. So let’s get down and dirty and talk about keepin’ the kiddos washed, clipped, brushed, wiped, shaved, and smellin’ sweet…let’s talk personal hygiene.

hygiene 101: keepin’ it clean

ready, set, grow

A fingernail completely regrows in 4-6 months, while it takes 12-18 months for a toenail to regrow.

wee ones [0–18 months]

T

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here are lots of ‘unexpecteds’ when you finally have your wee one home. But who knew just the thought of trimming his nails could strike fear in the hearts of the best mommies on the block? Your wee one’s fingernails will grow quickly and will probably need to be trimmed weekly, while his toenails should only need a trim monthly. Here are some tips to calm your nerves and get those little digits trimmed: • timing After a bath can be a great time to cut wee-one nails. The nails will be softer and easier to cut and he should be relaxed from his recent soak.

Also consider cutting his nails when he is sleeping.

You’ll want him to be in a deep sleep—the kind of sleep where his arm is limp.

• tools Any project done right starts with the right tools, so get a clipper that is specifically designed for infants.

• teamwork As a new member of the wee-one-nailclipping club, have someone else hold your wee one so you can concentrate on the deed at hand.

The greatest fear of a first-time clipper is drawing blood. The best way to minimize this happening is to depress your wee one’s finger pad away from his nail as you cut. And with someone else holding him, you’ll have two hands to work the clipper and manipulate his finger.

• take it easy Remember, like every new thing you tackle, there is a learning curve. So take your time but give yourself a break if you do snip junior’s finger. If it happens, apply a little pressure and a dab of antibiotic ointment to the snip. Oh, and of course a little kiss never hurts!

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If your child is 3 years old or older call 218-284-3800 for an appointment.

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on the minds of moms | june • july twenty eighteen

Now Enrolling 3, 4 and 5 year olds!

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It takes just five seconds for a kiddo to receive third-degree burns from water that is 140 degrees Fahrenheit, which is often the set temperature on water heaters leaving the factory. Be

ready, set, grow

sure yours is set to a safe 120 degrees Fahrenheit.

tots

[18 months–3 years]

I

magine if you could read your tot’s mind…”So here’s the deal, mom…I’m a tot and there are some things I find completely revolting. It might be my car seat, going to bed, not letting me eat the plant, or what not. Trust that I will do everything in my power [i.e. cry, whine, scream, stomp, blow a gasket] to convey my feelings or at least make you miserable until you eventually give up.”

While our tots can make things challenging, there are a number of things you can’t just give in to when we are talking about hygiene. So what happens when your tot hates taking a bath? Keep these options in mind when bath time becomes medieval torture for you and that adorable tot: • the ol’ switcher-oo Try giving him a bath at a different time of the day.

• down size Your big tub might be a little intimidating for your tot, so try a smaller version you can put in the tub. This can offer your tot some needed security.

• look away Don’t let your tot watch the water drain out the tub. Who knows what’s down there and your tot doesn’t need to think he could succumb to the same fate!

• don’t force it Forcing your tot to take a bath when she is frightened is only going to make things worse.

Take some time between bath attempts, do some spot cleaning or a sponge bath, but don’t force it.

And one more thing to remember when it comes to bath time…lesson numero uno…DON’T LEAVE YOUR TOT ALONE IN THE TUB! And when bath time is over, drain the tub. You never want water standing anywhere your tot could fall into.

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45

www.onthemindsofmoms.com

State of the art 3D/4D HD Live non-medical ultrasound imaging see your baby in greater detail, find out the gender early, and commemorate the event with keepsake pictures and videos.

ready, set, grow

the average person spends 92 days on the toilet over the course of a lifetime

preschoolers [3–5 years]

O

ur preschoolers are learning independence, which is great. But they still need our help working to refine their recently learned hygiene skills. But how much should you help and when should they be going solo?

teeth tango You know the importance of a nice healthy smile.

Brushing up and down, back and forth, and in a circle takes some skill and may be difficult for your preschooler to master. But nonetheless, it needs to be done twice daily. If your preschooler isn’t a fan of brushing his pearly whites, try these tricks: • flavor-flave Variety is the spice of life, right? Try different non-fluoride toothpaste flavors and colors to entice your preschooler.

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46

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bottoms up Can you hear it? “Mom!!! I’m done!” This is your cue to run and wipe some tooshie. It is very important to remember your preschooler is still working on his fine motor skills and there is some coordination required to do this job. It is perfectly fine to help your preschooler, but you need to encourage him to try on his own as well. Consider keeping baby wipes or other wet-wipe alternatives close by for your preschooler. They are typically easier to use than regular toilet paper. It might take until the age of five or six for him to do a ‘good job’. So help your preschooler out, but don’t do it all for him. Just offer a helping hand.

When all else fails and your preschooler is struggling to gain more independence, create a chart. It’s amazing what a little construction paper and a sticker or two can do to promote a desired behavior.

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Now enrolling ages 1 - 4

• add some power Your preschooler might have an easier time brushing with a motorized toothbrush and they are really cool!

• inspector You know how important a healthy smile is. It can be a real confidence booster, so until you are confident he can accomplish the task correctly by himself, make sure you are very involved in your preschooler’s tooth brushing.

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on the minds of moms | june • july twenty eighteen

ready, set, grow

It’s not uncommon for kiddos to get viral illnesses 10-12 times a year and symptoms can last a week or more.

big kids [6–9 years]

H

ygiene is an important part of our daily lives… forever! Now is the time to teach our big kids why we do these daily tasks so we can ensure they grow happy, healthy, and never known as the smelly kid! clean 101 So you’ve been at this proper hygiene for a few years, but now you need to really teach your big kid the hows and whys: • the germs Now is the time to talk about germs.

Explain that germs try to get into our bodies and make us sick and proper hygiene helps us keep these tiny invaders away.

• the wash Washing our hands is the best way to combat germs. Explain the importance of washing if he coughs or sneezes, before eating or preparing foods, after using the bathroom, after playing outside or with an animal, and after visiting someone sick.

• the example The best way to teach proper hygiene is for you to be a model of good behavior. Remember

your kiddos are ALWAYS watching and learning how to navigate this world by studying you. resource for you The market is full of personal hygiene products for you and your kiddos. Are they all safe? Every mom should bookmark this website, www.cosmeticsdatabase.com.

This is the Environmental Working Group’s Skin Deep cosmetic safety database. They score cosmetics and personal-care products on a scale of zero to ten [the lower the score, the safer the product]. You can search by ingredient, company, or product. It’s easy to get sucked into marketing campaigns and product labels, but this site helps you get through all of that and find the safest products for you and your whole family.

It’s Elementary!

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www.onthemindsofmoms.com

For Children Ages 3-8

• Ear Training • Note Reading • Rhythm and Harmony • Keyboard and Singing

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june • july twenty eighteen | on the minds of moms

47

ready, set, grow

Shaving does not make hair grow back thicker. Heredity is the true culprit of hair growth speed, thickness, and color.

tweeners [10–12 years]

A

s your tweener dives into puberty there are numerous milestones achieved by each gender, but boys and girls alike will inevitably embark on…unwanted hair!

Today there are lots of options to remove unwanted hair. You’ve got waxing, plucking, creams, lasers, and what not. Well, we’re going old school and talkin’ razors.

Here are some shaving tips for your tweener: • timing −− for her Your tweener might be ready sooner than others to shave her legs, especially if her hair is dark rather than blonde. −− for him When your tweener begins to grow hair on his face, he will probably want to start shaving as soon as it begins to bother him or you!

We've got your back

www.onthemindsofmoms.com

Especially if your “back” involves pelvic pain, pre & postnatal care, bladder issues, or Diastasis Recti Dysfunction.

• the blade −− for her & him Options, options, options…and more options when it comes to razors for your tweener.

Let your tweener pick their blade of preference and other accessories such as shaving cream.

• the lesson −− for her Now, your tweener thinks she knows everything, so don’t be surprised if she doesn’t ask you for the how-to on shaving. If she does ask, keep it simple. Let her know to shave in the direction the hair grows, to take her time, and the importance of shaving with water and a good lather, whether it is soap or shaving cream. −− for him When your son first starts shaving he probably won’t need to do his whole face. Starting out he should shave in the direction his hair grows [with the grain]. Later, he can get a really close shave by going against the grain. Your tweener should shave about half an inch, rinse the razor, and repeat until finished. And, mom, we know you want to take care of your little boy, but there is no shame in asking a trusted male in your life to offer his expertise in this area.

Sources:

701.364.APEX (2739) www.apexptwe ll ness.com 1420 9th St. E. Suite 401, West Fargo

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on the minds of moms | june • july twenty eighteen

www.cdc.gov | www.chicagotribune.com | www.gillette.com www.pregnancyandbaby.com | www.askdrsears.com | www.kidshealth.org www.foot.com | www.kaboose.com | www.drgreene.com

ready, set, grow

there are over 250,000 sweat glands in a pair of feet

teens [13–18years]

P

icture it…you’ve been gone for the afternoon. You return home, open the front door and there it is!

Something horrible has happened…a squirrel, a rat, or other small, but larger than wanted, rodent must have died in the house while you were away. The smell is atrocious! But wait…no…it’s his shoes…AAAAHHHHH [bags dropped, hands to the face as you belt out your best psycho scream]!

It’s important to know that anxiety and different skin conditions can also be a cause of smelly feet. If you have other concerns, it is always a good bet to talk with your trusted physician.

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49

www.onthemindsofmoms.com

you smell dat?

If you want to describe something that smells really bad to someone, just say it smells like feet and you will immediately get a scrunched-up nose. Nasty! Your maturing teen is sweating more, which can include his feet. Here are some tips to keep your teen’s tootsies as sweet smelling as possible: • wash ‘em up If they stink, wash your feet. Your teen should be showering at least once a day, and make sure he doesn’t forget to scrub between the toes.

• keep it dry Excessive perspiration and moisture create a breeding ground for bacteria and are the top cause of smelly feet. Keep his feet as dry as possible by changing socks as needed and doing your best to dry shoes out before wearing again. Opt for white, cotton socks rather than other colors—some dyes can cause feet to smell as well.

• powder & spray it Try an over-the-counter foot spray or powder. These are designed to keep feet dry and kill fungi.

• ditch it When you have washed and dried and sprayed and the shoes still cause a gagging reflex, throw them away!

being a daddy’s girls is like having permanent armor for the rest of your life —marinela reka

photos: exposures by j.linnea | josette hayes

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