tara kessler

age 31, fargo

being a single mom gives me a greater appreciation for…

My family. They have always been unconditionally supportive of me, but since I became a single mom, they have been my lifeline. I don’t tell them enough, but I appreciate them so very much.

if I could have been born with any talent it would be…

To sing. I love music and I love singing, I just wish I were good at it! Brody has inherited my love of music and I’m holding out hope that he can carry a tune.

three online blogs I read daily…

Seth Godin [my idol], Dooce [a fun “mom” blog], Swanson Health Products [gotta read my own!] the greatest giggle my son has given me…

One day we were talking about “Grandma Ronnie” [my maternal grandmother]. Brody said, “Grandma Ronnie is my great grandma, but Grandma Carlotta [my mother] is my best grandma.” the TV show I hate to admit I watch… my family gives me… the company most likely to hire me as product spokesperson…

Keeping Up with the Kardashians. Enough said.

Support. I don’t know where I’d be without my family. They are Brody’s father-figures, sibling stand-ins and surrogate moms. Even though they are his extended family, they are his whole family.

Aquaphor from Eucerin. It’s the only thing that works for my lips in the winter. [My confession: I’m a lip blam junkie…I’ll try ANY new lip balm, but I always go back to what works: Auqaphor.] my idea of a good date… if I had $500 to shop in one store in town it would be… one thing I would hate to run out of…

Laughing. Real laughing, not the polite or nervous kind. If laughter is genuine, it makes a date good.

Barnes and Noble. I could spend hours at B&N and never get bored! Books, coffee and Wi-Fi—it’s like a mini-vacation!

Yo-J. It’s a yogurt and juice drink that Brody loves [and it’s really healthy]. We took a vacation to the Virgin Islands last spring and they don’t have Yo-J. I ended up making my own for a week and it just wasn’t the same. [Just ask Brody!]

my favorite easy meal…

Koshi Blueberry Waffels and Turkey Bites. It’s “Brody-friendly”, packed with protein and he’ll eat it anytime.

five things I always keep in my car…

Cell charger, lip balm, juice box, animal crackers and gum.

something I rely on to keep my sanity…

My friends. They are fun, help me to maintain perspective and they are very understanding of my restrictions and limitations. Being a single mom means last minute availability and last-minute cancellations. I’m very lucky to have such amazing friends!

being an identical twin, the best advice I would give other moms of twins…

Remind your twins to appreciate each other because they are lucky to have one another. Also encourage them to make an effort to have separate friends, activities and interests. Learning to be an individual in a world that wants them to be one unit [i.e. “the twins” vs. “Tara or Heather”] is a very important life lesson that is easier learned when young.

for the sexes… marathon training

story by | kathleen wrigley

My husband, Drew, and I are about to embark on a journey. We’ll enter our adventure with vigor, nervous excitement, logs, and journals full of important numbers. There will be fun, but also some blood & chaffing, lots of sweat and laundry, lost toe nails and, for me, some tears. Mission objective: 4 months of training for and completing the Fargo marathon this spring. If all goes as planned, some mix of optimism and determination will carry us over that finish line in the Fargodome on May 22nd!

We share many things: love, respect, values, family & household responsibilities, a love of running, diaper, sick-child and middle-of-the-night-nightmareduties…you get the point. But, sharing has its limits, and our approach to training for and finishing this event will, most-assuredly, be vastly different.

For one thing, Drew runs alone. In fact, he’d rather be beaten to a pulp with his own leg than run with a group. The “loner” is always prepared. His long runs are crafted in a careful, methodical, border-line obsessive manner. He charts his course. He drives the course to calculate the mileage and plants water at specific mile markers. A hand-made, laminated, mile-by-mile pace chart is secure, but accessible in his cap, to keep him on measured tempo. It’s odd, yes, but impressive, and I watch him in bemused awe.

My prep time isn’t as interesting and is much less time consuming. I wake up and layer, ready to face the elements. My satellite mileage watch tracks my distance and pace. I need gum to click and clack my way through the unmarked course. Occasionally, usually around mile 15, regret sets in for my lack of preparation, but I swallow hard and relieve the regret through conversation. I rarely run alone. I need “wing-men” to run on my right side because of my visual difficulties. Besides, I believe there’s strength in numbers. I’ve been a member of three running groups [FB’s, Women High on Running, and Red River Runners], and have made life-long friends through these enterprises. I have gained a reputation of talking people through their 20 milers, if not burning up the course. I tell stories and people listen. Everyone has a talent! Plus, it makes the time go by faster, and

I’m a stay-at-home mom, so it’s the only time people listen to me!

Scheduling for the longer, more arduous runs gets complicated when both mom and dad are training for 26.2 miles of fun. For my part, I’m a morning person. So, my mornings begin at 5, with a training run. As a mom, there are few hours to get a workout, without imposing on the kids’ schedules. Besides, Drew and I can’t both be gone at that hour! Someone needs to be sleeping peacefully, warmly bundled up in a fetallike position protecting our children, for Pete’s sake! Thank you, honey.

Drew prefers to do his long runs on Sunday…afternoons…after church. Perfect timing…for him. Many nights during the week his daily, shorter runs are late in the evenings, around 10 or 11. Ugh. No thanks! I’d have talked myself out of it by then! He’s a determined bugger.

Ahhh, then there’s the post-run ritual. That’s where it gets interesting between the sexes…when I walk in the door post-run, the house is just beginning to bustle. I climb up the stairs, exhilarated and so eager to share the details with Drew: bathroom stops, combating the aches and pains, sharing my pace and my route, and hoping there’s time for a shower. I want him to live this moment with me, you know. Really travel this journey by my side.

Not Drew. Nope. He stumbles in the door, hustles past whomever’s closest, still listening intently to segments of the Rush Limbaugh show that he’s downloaded on to his iPod. We know, from experience, what daddy needs. He needs water, a shower and some

Advil. Then, he breaks out the freezer baggies filled with ice. He settles himself on the floor with the ice carefully placed, and cozies up to the Sunday paper. In his defense, he is older, and needs these recovery rituals.

At any rate, our approaches may be different, but, our goals are the same. Our triumphs are unremarkably glorious to us. Similarly, whether you aim to finish 3 or 26.2 miles, it’s your race and yours alone. What an opportunity, and the experience of a lifetime!

And, whether you’re a boy or a girl, a mom or a dad remember this: “the pursuit is the reward!” So, run, sprint, gallop, walk, shuffle, wheel, saunter or hobble across that finish line!

Finally, don’t forget to smile and throw your shaky arms in the air to document your victory for the photographers, like I will! Or, cross that line, quiet and proud with a side grin and a quick glance down at your watch, like Drew. However you get there, victory awaits!!

See you in the Dome!

Kathleen and Drew Wrigley are two of the featured runners for this year’s Fargo marathon. Check out their blogs: www.fargomarathon.com.

Kathleen is running this year’s marathon in an attempt to raise money and awareness for brain aneurysm research and cutting edge treatment options for brain aneurysms, insuring the very best care for patients and their families

Please consider making a tax-deductible charitable donation to: www healtheast org/ foundation/foundation-donation html and click on the link: National Brain Aneurysm Center & St Joseph’s Neurosciences Fund to donate Please specify “In honor of Kathleen Wrigley”