one study found 87% of 18-24 month olds & 91% of 30-36 month olds throw tantrums

We’veall been there. You’re at Target, the grocery store or a restaurant and your tot ticking-timebomb goes off. You feel the stares. You read their thoughts, “Control your kid, Lady!” Some avoid eye contact and others give you a sheepish smile that says, “I feel your pain, sista!” All you want is for your tot to realize you’re the boss! Good luck!

you make me so mad!

You tot wants to go, go, go and they are trying to investigate and control their environment. So, when you are telling him something that is contrary to his intentions, he doesn’t like it. There are typically two types of tantrums: frustration tantrums This tantrum is due to your tots inability to communicate. Your tot has developed his mental and motor skills, but his verbal skills are lacking. With this type of tantrum, your tot needs your empathy. Help him ‘tell’ you what he needs using his words and nonverbal cues. manipulative tantrums Our tots can be perfect button pushers! If he is using a tantrum to get his way, don’t fall for it. Ignoring his spectacle or walking away is the best way to teach him this behavior is not acceptable.

Do Your Part

So, what’s the magic recipe to curb tantrums…there isn’t one! But we can do our best to prevent as many as possible and defuse them as quickly as possible when they do happen:

• remember to stay calm Let your tot have the tantrum and don’t join in. A tantrum doesn’t mean your tot is ‘bad’ or you’re failing as a parent. So, deal with your own potential short fuse. A mature response from you will have a far better response from your tantrum throwing tot.

• figure out what lights the fuse Pay attention to triggers that prompt a tantrum. Even consider keeping a journal. How you effectively deal with a tantrum will differ between tots. Maybe a timeout is best, ignoring the behavior or maybe you leave the shopping cart in the aisle and head to the car with tot in tow.

• have a plan A tantrum is more likely to happen when he is tired or hungry, so plan ahead. One more stop on errand day right during prime naptime, probably isn’t a good idea.