preschoolers [3–5

Maaa-uum!

She hit me….Maaaa-uum! He took the puzzle…Maaaa-uum! She said a bad word…sound familiar? Tattling can be annoying and you might feel like a broken record of “stop tattling!” to tell or tattle

No one likes a tattletale, but there are times we want our preschooler to tell us about inappropriate behavior. So, we need to let her know the difference between tattling and reporting.

Tattling is when your preschooler is telling an adult about the actions of another child with the sole intention of getting that child in trouble. Reporting is telling an adult about the actions of another child with the intension of getting help for someone in danger or a harmful situation. Make it clear that you do not like tattling, but situations where someone could get hurt need to be told to an adult. Use relevant, real life examples of dangerous/ harmful behavior. Not waiting your turn isn’t the same as playing in the street or swimming without a lifejacket. tattletale

So, why does your preschooler tattle on her siblings or playmates? She might be looking for attention [I know the reason for most any naughty behavior, but still true], trying to gain power or control of her situation or she might even be expressing her moral responsibility to call out all the rule breakers. Think about it, you…the all knowing person in charge…have explained it is wrong to not hang up your coat. This injustice must be pointed out!

How you react to tattling is very important. You need to make the tattling useless. Either ignore the tattling or let your preschooler know the issue at hand doesn’t need to concern them [“You don’t need to worry about Jay’s coat”] or they don’t need to concern you [“Talk to Jay about his coat, not me.”]. It’s also very important not to reward the tattler by punishing the other child. Tattling won’t last forever and soon your preschooler will learn the world isn’t so black and white and they can navigate some of the rough waters.