Self-car e is the best care

Self-care is the best care

“Come with me by yourselves to a quiet place and get some rest.” —Mark 6:31

During His ministry, Jesus faced endless requests for help and healing. It was difficult for Him to escape the crowds wherever He went, and even when He sought respite, people would literally run to Him for His healing touch. But Jesus didn’t let His infinite compassion exhaust His finite strength—or that of His disciples. Seeing that they didn’t even have a chance to eat, He told them, “Come with me by yourselves to a quiet place and get some rest” (Mark 6:31). Jesus knew His disciples were in for the long haul. After He went to the cross, they would have to continue His ministry. Aware of their physical and emotional limits, He wanted them to pace themselves.

Caregiving is a marathon, not a sprint. Our role as a caregiver could last many years if we’re taking care of an elderly parent, or a lifetime if it’s a child. Our days may also be long if our daily routines revolve around people who need constant care and attention. Like the disciples, we too need to pace ourselves. First, consider this truth: the best gift you can offer in caregiving is your own health. When you take good care of yourself, you will be more able to take care of others. So don’ t get burnt out. Learn to recognise your own physical and emotional limits, and avoid stretching yourself to breaking point. Some practical things you can do: • Make sure y ou get enough rest and r espite.

The “P’s” of self-care

• Prayer. Keep turning to God, the ultimate source of strength. • Pause. Take a break. Remember that while you’re pausing, God is still working on your loved one. • Plan. Anticipate problems and scenarios where possible, so that you will be better prepared should they arise. • Play. Do something you enjoy. It’s okay to have fun. • Physical activity. Keep fit and stay healthy. Physical exercise produces chemicals in the body called endorphins, which improve your mood and help to counter depression. • Problem solve. When problems arise, focus on solving them. Don’t waste your time or energy on assigning blame, it’ll just make you more upset. • Praise. Find reasons to keep thanking God for His provision, such as your home, your family, or your job. Nurture a thankful heart. • Perseverance. Pace yourself. And thank God for the opportunity to look after your loved ones; they are moments to be cherished.

• Pa y attention to your own medical needs. • Eat a hea lthy diet and get sufficient ex ercise.

• Take r egular breaks, like a few hours off eac h day or week, to do something you enjo y.

• Kee p up relationships with your frien ds. • Consider joining support groups; they can provide you with much-needed encouragement. • Tap r espite care services or ask a friend or rela tive to take ov er watching your char ge for a few hours each week. • Ask for help as you find creative ways to expand your support network. One of the hardest things for a caregiver to recognise is that we are not indispensable. Many of us fall into the trap of thinking that we’re the only ones who can care for our loved ones. This can in turn raise their expectations for us to be there for them all the time. We need to ask ourselves: If we’re the only one caring for them, what would happen to them if something happens to us? Veteran gerontologist Dr Helen Ko urges caregivers to avoid setting unreasonable standards for themselves. “Good enough is good enough,” she says. “God does not expect us to be perfect caregivers. He only expects us to be faithful caregivers.”

Lord, teach me how to let go of my own standards and other people’s expectations as I learn to care for myself. Grant me the creativity to find ways to recharge and relax, and the wisdom to take care of this holy temple that You have given me. I pray for Your divine strength to uplift me physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually.