How do I keep my sh*t together? DURING ISOLATION
WORKING AT HOME WHILE RAISING YOUR KIDS TIPS AND ACTION STEPS FROM PARENTING EXPERTS ACROSS THE WORLD
Welcome
Hey Parents, I get it, this is hard! You are no longer just parenting - you are parent, chef, manager, teacher, principal, entertainment director, and safety officer - and you are probably still working a full-time job from home!
Finding the positives during isolation is not always easy and that is why I have reached out to my community of Parent Coaches to provide us with a quick self-care tip - something we can put into action right now. This is not a one-size-fits-all list of tips. Please pick and choose what will work for you and your family.
Our community of Parent Coaches are here to support you and each one has offered a free 30-minute confidential call to help you through this time. Together we are stronger - so stay close and connect when you need us! XOXO Jennifer Founder of ParentCoach.Club
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TIP # 1
f l e s r u o Toss Y a Line Claire Cetti, Parent Coach for MOMpreneurs
Toss Yourself a Line, Times are tough right now and it can be SO easy to get caught up in the moments of frustration, overwhelm and chaos of it all. “Tossing yourself a line” is to add a phrase or word to your current line of thought when you are having a hard time that elicits hope and possibility for you in the moment. Some words to add might be “right now” or “yet” at the end of your thought / emotion / sentence. "I can’t afford this...RIGHT NOW." "I am so angry this isn’t working....YET" "I am frustrated with my child.....RIGHT NOW” Adding “right now” or “yet” can help put an end in sight to your frustration, negative thought or emotion you are fully in at the moment. It will provide you the strength to walk through the tough moment and out the other side into a more calm and re-connected state.
About Claire Cetti, Claire is a mama of 4 and has been working with parents for over 10 years both at a college health and counseling center and as a PCI Certified Parent Coach®. Claire helps MOMpreneurs and couples feel more in control, calm and connected with their kids and within their family. She does this through 1x1 coaching, group coaching and workshops.
Connect with Claire here for a FREE 30 minute call.
TIP # 2
d n a f l e s r u o Y m l a C Connect Tia Fagan, Certified Parent Coach Specializing in Transitions
Calm Yourself & Connect, In quarantine you may be feeling more overwhelm, frustration, or anger with yourself, your child/teen, or your partner than usual. Practice this 3-step process to access your inner calm and re-connect. Remember P.E.A.s on Earth…or should we say P.E.A.s during Quarantine! 1. P: Pause Take 3 deep breaths (inhale for a count of 3, exhale for a count of 7). After 3 deep breaths, identify the most prominent feeling you are experiencing? Your Feeling: ____________ 2. E: Explore What may your child/teen need from you right now? Child/Teen’s Need: _______________ 3. A: Action What is the action step you can take to connect now that you have identified your own feeling and your child/teen’s need? Some ideas - being playful, giving space, making a snack, going for a walk, active listening, a hug, etc. Action Step: _________________
About Tia Fagan. Tia Fagan is a Conscious Parenting MethodTM Certified Coach that specializes in supporting families navigate transitions by guiding them through a 5-step process that helps them S.H.I.F.T. from surviving to thriving. Tia’s passion is helping parents strengthen relationships, increase connection, and improve communication with their children of all ages. Coaching and support can be done virtually or in person.
Connect with Tia here for a FREE 30 minute call.
TIP # 3
r u o y e s Choo Battles Dana Baker-Williams, Parent and Teen Coach
Choose your Battles, One tip that my clients love that works beautifully is Step Away From the Stove—your kid being the stove. Would you move closer to touch a burning stove? You step away, so you don't get burned! So if your child or teen is in a bad mood or pushing your buttons, walk away. Don't engage; choose your battles because not everything is worth the pain. So be flexible when you can and avoid setting rules your kids can't easily follow. A chronically messy teen might have real trouble immediately maintaining a spotless bedroom. So if that's not crucial to you, let it go. Remember, you can always close his door.
About Dana Baker-Williams. As a parent coach I’m here to support you and help you parent through any challenges with confidence and calm. My mission is to help you connect and bring laughter and joy back into your home. I take a practical, positive approach to parenting which means no added stress, guilt or pressure. Because no matter how hard we try, none of us is a prefect parent.
Connect with Doreen here for a FREE 30 minute call.
TIP # 4
s s e n d n i K h t i w k a e Sp e c i o h C a and offer Kim Muench, Parent Coach
Speak with Kindness and offer a choice, So much of our lives have changed in the past few weeks, we’re all feeling a loss of control to some degree. Yet even with the extreme change of schedule and pace, there are still things that need to get done, right? Here is the best way I have found to ask my kids (any age) to do something that they likely won’t want to do. It’s all in the presentation. These four little words always make things go much smoother. Ready…here they are: Would you be willing; this is better than “Please” better than “Do this now!” Would you be willing is a kinder approach and helps them believe they have a choice in the matter. For example: (said with sincerity), “Would you be willing to set the table or to make the noodles for the spaghetti?”
About Kim Muench. Kim Muench, Jai Institute for Parenting Certified Parent Coach, is a mother to five kids ages 15-32. She works with parents of adolescents, especially those raising kids with mental health or substance use challenges. Supporting and encouraging moms and dads to parent with intention and guidance rather than fear and control, her work is done through one-on-one coaching via Zoom.
Connect with Kim here for a FREE 30 minute call.
TIP # 5
r u o y t s Adju s n o i t a t Expec Sonja Montiel, College Confidence
Adjust your Expectations, THE STRUGGLE: Parents are confused and worried about how distance learning will impact their students' future opportunities. As schools adjust their curriculum, families feel like they are winging it. TIP:Follow these 3 tips to regain control of your teen's learning experience and expectations at home: #1: Take it day by day...and work with what you have. Everyone knows resources and time is highly limited, and families are doing their best. #2: This term will not be graded...schools and colleges worldwide understand that this term is an exception, and will not be emphasizing grades or test scores for this term. #3: Stay connected...with your school district and local colleges to get a pulse about how they are supporting students.
About Sonja Montiel. Sonja has 20 years of college admissions experience being an admissions officer for the University of California system, leading a private high school's counseling department, and running her own practice as an independent college counselor. Through counseling and courses, Sonja builds meaningful connections between parents and their teens as they navigate college admissions and other options after high school.
Connect with Sonja here for a FREE 30 minute call.
TIP # 6
e g r a h c e R Aparna Venkataraman, Parent Coach
Recharge, When we tap into what our minds and bodies need - we feel recharged! 3 quick ways to recharge: 1) LISTEN: Place your hand on your heart and close your eyes - listening to your heartbeat gives yourself that feeling of warmth, comfort, oxytocin, and you are tuned inward to honor your own body's support system 2) SMELL: Inhale a scent: Whether it is an essential oil, fruit or fresh air - using your senses sends a signal to your brain that you want to feel relaxed (florals and herbs, uplifted (citruses and mints invigorate) or even balanced (trees help us to feel supported and steady) 3) TOUCH: Hands-on activities such as playdough, baking, creating collage art, or anything that uses your fine motor skills (hands and fingers) release stress - just the sensation of a new material helps you feel great because you are in creation mode!
About Aparna Venkataraman. With 15 years of experience guiding families in schools, hospitals & non-profits, Aparna Venkataraman is a parent coach, meditation teacher, motivational speaker and essential oils educator - she loves to help families find and feel more flow, joy and ease! Her areas of expertise are: self-care, mindfulness, communication and creative sensory activities
Connect with Aparna here for a FREE 30 minute call.
TIP # 7
Breathe Janet Taylor, Parent Coach
Breathe, This tip comes in handy when the "wrong" emotions want to take over what we know we want to be saying. In yoga it is called box breathing, but also referred to as tactical breathing or 4 by 4 breathing. It is also a great tip to share with your children and they can practice it when they are anxious, stressed, overwhelmed or angry. 1. Inhale deeply through your nose for a count of four. 2. Hold that same breathe for another count of four. 3. Slowly exhale through your mouth, contracting your stomach for another count of four. 4. Hold your empty breathe for a count of 4.
About Janet Taylor. I have a 6 step program to support parents dealing with a child who is self-harming. This program has been put together from the experiences I have lived through over the last 7 years with my oldest daughter. I have made it my mission to ensure no parent have to deal with this situation alone. Ever.
Connect with Janet here for a FREE 30 minute call.
TIP # 8
p a M d n i M n u F y l i Fam Sharon Roberts, Dyslexia Coach
Mind Map, Looking for a fun and creative way for your family to “get it together�? Mind mapping may be the answer. Tony Buzan, the creator of mind mapping, claims his methods are most conducive to creative thinking and memory as the curvy colourful lines dotted with images are more easily absorbed. Begin with a picture for your central idea. An image is worth a thousand words, and keeps you focused. You have a stronger recall of images. Make your branches curved rather than straight-lined. Curves is immensely satisfying and pleasing to our brains. Each main branch should have its own colour as colours have been proven to form strong association with words and concepts and create stronger neural paths when forming memories and new concepts. Connect your main branches to the central image and connect your second- and thirdlevel branches to the first and second levels because your brain works by association. It is incredibly powerful to link two (or three, or four) things together as it creates new neural pathways in your thought process.
About Sharon Roberts. Sharon helps children with learning differences learn to focus and find success in life. She does this by offering an online, drugfree, creative 5-day proven program.
Connect with Sharon here for a FREE 30 minute call.
TIP # 9
Pray Doreen Steenland Christian Parent Coach
Pray, Our brains are wired to detect threats and protect you from the threat!
Your brain is doing what it was created by God to do! God created your brain, your emotions and has given you direction as to how to manage them! You can manage the way your brain is reacting and take your thoughts captive in obedience to Christ, even in the midst of stress! Take Captive your Thoughts in obedience to Christ: 1. Pause, Pray, breathe deeply. 2. Notice and Discover what situations trigger your reaction. 3. Discover what part of your body is giving you clues (neck, shoulders, stomach, chest?) 4. Ask internal questions: What am I feeling right now? What is the wise response? What is beneath the surface? Remember: ONE thing you can control is YOUR OWN THINKING. God promises peace for the one who chooses to place their gaze on Him! Phil. 4:4-9
About Doreen Steenland. Doreen is a Christian parent coach for parents of teens & tweens at Living Full Life Coaching. She empowers parents to connect with and successfully launch their teens in spite of the drama, helping Moms find themselves in the process. Ride the Waves Mama parenting membership is open for enrollment!
Connect with Doreen here for a FREE 30 minute call.
TIP # 10
e t a t i d e M Casey O'Roarty, Parent Coach
Meditate, What is keeping me sane during this weird time of quarantine and uncertainty is taking time to nurture me. Many of us go to the gym or exercise to work out our bodies... I find that a practice of stillness and meditation is the workout I need to work out my mind. And isn't the mind working overtime these days??? This practice increases our ability to be aware of our emotional experience, and create the pivot we want to be more in response and less in reaction. How to Meditate: 1. Decide what the best time of day is for you to take time alone 2. Sit comfortably with your eyes closed 3. Bring your attention to your breath 4. Notice the thoughts and beliefs that pull at your attention, and come back to focusing on the sensation of breathing 5. Do this for however long you want 6. Trust that this practice matters
About Casey O'Roarty. Casey O'Roarty is a Positive Discipline Trainer, Coach, Podcast host, wife and mother to two teens that teach her every day the importance of her meditation practice. She supports parents all over the world on their journey of becoming ever more evolved humans as they navigate the path of raising kids.
Connect with Casey here for a FREE 30 minute call.
TIP # 11
y o J d n Fi Sheri Gazitt, Parent Coach
You C.A.N. find Joy, C-CREATE the time and space for joy. When you or your kids are feeling overwhelmed, it can be easy to try to schedule and control everything. It’s important to include a time for goofing off and having downtime that can turn into moments of joy. A-When your kids are feeling silly and happy, it’s important to ALLOW that organic moment to happen. The silly moments boost their happy brain and let them get through the next assignment or to combat the big feelings. N-NOTICE the small joyful moments. It might be the hummingbird flying by or the belching contest in the next room. There are small joyful moments that happen every day. You just have to notice them. What is a joyful moment that happened today? How did you feel in that moment?
About Sheri Gazitt. Coach Sheri is dedicated to helping teens and parents through the difficult ups and downs of adolescence. She advocates for teen mental wellness by advising foundations, appearing on TV and Radio shows, and writing for magazines. Coach Sheri also provides private coaching for teen girls and their parents who need help finding their inner joy, taming stress, claiming their confidence, and navigating friendships.
Connect with Sheri here for a FREE 30 minute call.
TIP # 12
a r t n a M Have a Jane Evans, Parent Coach
Have a Mantra, During this time of uncertainty your wonderful brain may be playing up a bit! Fortunately, your body is your best resource for creating a calm moment. Regularly place your hand gently on it - the heart area can be soothing. Breathe slowly in through your nose and imagine that air floating down to your toes. Breathe out slowly through your mouth and let the air and all your emotions go. Say to yourself a soothing phrase, "I am safe, I am safe" can be a good one.
A simple practice like this is vital to your mental, emotional and physical wellbeing. It tops all of them up gently and effectively. Do it when you wake up, in the shower, any old time so your whole system learns it and welcomes it. Then it will become a wonderful tool for these uncertain, often draining times as a parent, and for the rest of your days.
About Jane Evans. Every parent Jane has ever worked with has taught her something. Every interaction with every child and young person Jane has cared for and worked with has too. You deserve this expertise from Jane's 26 years of direct work and learning on the job and from her all she has learned from the studying the amazing work of a range of world experts in brain and body science. Well-known as an author of children's books covering complex topics like living in a stormy home to how brains work.
Connect with Jane here for a FREE 30 minute call.
TIP # 13
1 2 3 4 5n w o D m l Ca Cai Graham, Parent Coach
5-4-3-2-1 Calm Down, This is a great exercise to use when your mind is in chaos and you’d like to calm things down a bit. It’s really effective when your are feeling : Overwhelmed Anxious Big Emotions Nervous
What you need to do is calm the confusion in your head, so that you can think more clearly.
This exercise is FAST and EASY.
5 : List 5 things that you can SEE. Look around you. 4 : List 4 things that you can TOUCH; that are within your reach. 3 : List 3 things that you can HEAR. NOTICE : That your mind is calming down? 2 : List 2 things that you can SMELL. 1: List 1 thing that you can TASTE. Well Done! Just sit and assess your thoughts and feelings. NOTICE : That because you put the brakes on your old way of thinking - that you are feeling calmer and more in control.
About Cai Graham. Cai Graham is a Parenting & Teen Coach, Speaker and Amazon #1 bestselling author of The Teen Toolbox. Cai specializes in supporting families overcoming obstacles; including communication issues, loss and trauma, so that they can enjoy a brighter future.
Connect with Cai here for a FREE 30 minute call.
TIP # 14
s i t a h w e c Noti r u o i v a h e b e h t d n i h be Ashley Seling, Parent Coach
What's behind the Behaviour, Your child isn’t misbehaving, they’re finding a way to BELONG. Here’s a few top needs based on unfavorable behaviors: Annoying behaviors and/or excessive whining Child is looking for attention. Involve child usefully in tasks. Give hugs and spend quality time together without distractions. Defiance Child is looking for power. Give them choices and let them help make decisions on things that affect them. Seeking revenge Child is hurting. Listen and validate hurt feelings to help your child feel heard and a sense of belonging. Help your child brainstorm ideas to feel better. Lack of motivation/Not taking action Child feels like giving up. Simplify tasks and show child small steps. Tell your child you have faith in their abilities.
It is much easier to heal the belief behind the behavior instead of the behavior itself!
About Ashley Seling Ashley Seling is a Certified Parenting Educator and New Mom Coach. She mentors’ moms to cultivate a stronger relationship with themselves and their children to create happy homes + childhoods. Using her four-step process, she guides moms to balance being kind and establish healthy boundaries with their children, so they become respectful and successful in their lives.
Connect with Ashley here for a FREE 30 minute call.
TIP # 15
y l i m a F d l Ho s g n i t e e M Leslie Josel, ADHD Academic Coach
Hold Family Meetings, Have a family meeting every evening to go over everyone’s schedule for the next day. How to hold a Family Meeting: Create an agenda where everyone can add their topics (we post ours on the fridge) Assign a different Chairperson each meeting Assign someone to take notes Start with a positive and end with a fun family activity Show respect and allow each person to speak Involve everyone Family Meetings create life-long social skills including: listening skills problem-solving skills teamwork building skills communication skills and much more!
About Leslie Josel, Leslie Josel is an academic/life coach for teens and college students with ADHD and the principal of Order Out of Chaos. She is the creator of the awardwinning Academic Planner: A Tool for Time Management.ÂŽ A respected resource on ADHD and executive functioning in students, Leslie speaks and conducts workshops to parent and educator groups on a variety of topics facing students today.
Connect with Leslie here
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