PARENTCOACH MAGAZINE - Spring 2023

PARENTCOACH

KIDS' MESSY ROOMS: LAZINESS OR WEAK SKILLS?

WHY KIDS

CHEAT: A PARENT'S PERSPECTIVE PRIORITIES, VALUES, OR NEEDS

FIND

A Parent Coach Parent Coach

WELCOME

Welcome, my friend!

I am so happy to see you here...thank you for spending a few minutes with us! Can you believe this is our Winter edition already? Where does the time go?

How are you managing these days? You know, parenting is probably the hardest thing I have ever done. Some days I get it right, and well, some days I don't.

I put together this community of Parent Coaches to help me with the days I don't get it right. Their ideas and guidance give me space to find tools and strategies to connect with my kids and find calm in my home, but it isn't just that...they also remind me that my bad days don't define me, and I am definitely not alone.

I hope you find their words and ideas helpful. I know I do. But let me back up a bit. Do you even know what a Parent Coach does? If not, you are in the right place to explore what a Parent Coach can do for you and your family. To me, they are everything!

Keep reading because I will:

tell you what a Parent Coach can do for your family introduce you to Parent Coaches from around the world share advice from these trusted Parent Coaches give you the next steps if you need help right now

We aren’t here to preach and tell you what to do - we are here to love and encourage you on your journey - your unique journey. See you inside, you awesome parent, you!

Jennifer XOXO

Jennifer McCallum, Mom, and Founder of the Parent Coach Club

THANK YOU!

I don't even know where to start when I think about how grateful I am to be here, with you, doing what I love, day in and day out!

This issue is all about the people that help us help our kids to grow into the independent, incredible adults they are destined to be.

I am lucky enough to work with the best Parent Coaches from across the world as they make it their life mission to transform families from chaos to connection.

Please join me as I celebrate each and every one of them in this special issue!

And, if you are raising or working with kids and struggle with anything, please reach out to these Parent Coaches...they are here for you!

Jennifer McCallum Founder of the Parent Coach Club

Are you a Parent Coach? Consider becoming a Parent Coach Club Member!

We meet for monthly Mastermind Calls, Case Study Calls, and Business Training sessions where you gain the skills to grow your business along with others doing this valuable work

https://www.jenmccallum.com/jointheclub

YOUR PARENTING PATH TO PEACE

1 S T E P 3

IDENTIFY WHAT YOU NEED

Take time to identify what is holding you back from peace in your home.

2

S T E P S T E P FIND A PARENT COACH TRANSFORM YOUR LIFE Transform your life and relationships. Implementing just one small idea can have a huge impact in your life.

Find a Parent Coach. Our Parent Coaches specialize in all areas from tantrums to paying for college and everything in between.

WHAT IS A PARENT COACH?

Parent coaches are experts trained to handle many different parenting issues...

...with positive, practical solutions. Unlike therapists who treat diagnosed mental health conditions, parent coaches are consultants who provide tools, activities, guidance and support to parents and families.

A parent coach can help you individually or in a group setting by giving you the means to help you and your child:

Successfully achieve your parenting goals by asking the right questions

Implement a step-by-step action plan to handle challenges

Find new possibilities by sharing new perspectives and strategies to shift behaviour and family dynamics

Parent coaches offer proactive yet practical solutions to a long list of parenting issues, including:

Behavioural concerns

Family changes or crisis

Self-care

Child development

Mental health

Positive parenting practices

As you can see in the articles in this magazine, they specialize in these topics and many more. Find a Parent Coach to give you and your family the help you need. We are one click away!

Parent coaches offer proactive yet practical solutions

OUR STORY

By Jennifer McCallum, Founder of the Parent Coach Club

I guess you could say I was a typical first-time mom. I wanted to do it all perfectly and never mess up. I wanted to show the world that I could do it all and do it well.

And then my first child was born.

That was almost 25 years ago.

Bringing home our baby was terrifying. I was lost. I was tired. I was frustrated. I needed help but I didn't know where to go to get it. I had trouble with everything - breastfeeding, dealing with the lack of sleep, maintaining my relationships and having enough confidence to know what I was doing was right...the whole gambit!

At the time, I was sent home from the hospital with bags and bags of pamphlets and fliers. I was expected to sift through and find the resources I needed. Well, this tired mom couldn't find them at all..there were so many pamphlets to go through and each time I would call a listed organization, they would send me to another one. It was like a wild goose chase just to get a straight answer.

There was no Google to go to when I needed help with one specific thing like breastfeeding, first foods for baby, diapering, and daycare

We ended up back in the hospital with our new baby a few days after the birth.

It was a traumatic experience for all of us and thanks to the fabulous nurses, we were able to make it through and leave a few days later with a healthy baby

Fast forward a few months later when I found it difficult to find information about things like: cloth diapering, organic food, community playgroups, and daycare options I felt like it was a full-time job to research all the choices I had to make as a parent, and in the process was saddened by the time I was missing out on just enjoying my new baby.

How could I help other parents? Maybe a pamphlet would help...one that listed all the community resources –something like the phone book (remember them?) but just for parents???

I called the maternal newborn care units at the local hospitals and asked them if they would hand out a pamphlet of resources if I put it together Without question, they agreed That pamphlet ended up being a 100-page book!

That first year, with a toddler and 5 month-old baby, we delivered our first edition of the books to the hospitals as promised

For 18 years, I printed parenting resource books that went to every new parent after their baby was born. 16 of those years I also printed a School-Age edition for parents of kids starting school. I expanded to new cities and before I knew it, we had printed 59 editions!

What a ride.

I spent the next two years researching in a fog of worry, stress, confusion, and the ever-present overwhelm.

I tried to go back to work and wondered if I would ever find any work as rewarding as raising my baby It seemed like life had gone on for everyone else and I was still trying to figure out this new mom gig and failing

And then, one day, it became clear what I needed to do I needed to help other new parents so they didn't have to go through what I did

There had to be a better way...and I knew I wasn't alone. If I was going through this, there must be other parents out there who had the same trouble finding information.

"THERE HAD TO BE A BETTER WAY...I KNEW I WASN'T ALONE."

JENNIFER MCCALLUM

And, then my kids grew up and became teens. It was yet another stage I wasn't prepared for.

When my first baby was born, I created resource books...when the first two kids entered school, I created a school-age book...but teens...this was a whole new area to navigate...and I wasn't ready!

I felt like I was always the last one to the party the party of understanding teens

I struggled with the everyday things that teens go through, not willing to give up control, and adding a lot of stress, shame, and guilt, onto both my teens and myself

In the midst of this, we also adopted twins

I knew I needed to be better than I was. I knew that if I just had the key to the answers, I would be the best mom ever. I had four kids counting on me now.

That is when I discovered Parent Coaches. They changed my life.

I began working with them and my relationship with my kids became better. I also felt better about myself and that forward positive motion really does create more peace at home. They gave me tools and strategies to use to build our relationship. In fact, one small idea created the biggest impact....and I got this in a 30-minute chat with a Parent Coach!

At the same time, I was also pivoting my business and wondering what I could do next to continue to help parents, without printing thousands of books each year Google was a much better, environmentally friendly way to find resources now

The answer was right in front of me. Parent Coaches! I could help Parent Coaches grow their business so they could help more parents, like me.

But, there was a problem - not many parents had even heard of what a Parent Coach could do for their family.

Now, this is a very short overview of how we got here It was not easy and some days I even wondered if I was cut out to be a mom. There is a link below if you want to read more, but I want to leave you with one thing to consider....

What do you want your relationship to be like when your kids are adults?

I wanted mine to be better, and thanks to Parent Coaches, this is exactly what I got. My kids are now 24, 21, 16, and 16. I may be a bit biased, but I think they are the best kids in the world and I am grateful that I worked with Parent Coaches so I could be the mom they needed me to be. It's a work in process, but I am getting there!

I set out with one main mission: Create awareness of Parent Coaches so that families could find the joy and peace that we were experiencing.

XOXO Jennifer

KIDS' MESSY ROOMS: LAZINESS OR WEAK SKILLS?

by Leslie Josel - ADHD Academic Coach

Q: Are My Kids’ Messy Rooms a Sign of Laziness or Weak Executive Functioning Skills?

Q: “I’m guilty of spoiling my kids. When it comes to cleaning their bedrooms, organizing their closets, and putting away toys or school supplies, I’ve always been by their side, helping or doing the work. Now that they are 11 and 14, I realize my actions have been unhelpful. If I tell them to ‘clean the basement’ or ‘clean your room,’ they get so overwhelmed that it never gets done. How can I teach them to be more self-reliant? I need to stop coddling them, and they need help knowing what to do.” — MomGuilt

Hi MomGuilt:

I’m thrilled to be answering your question as we spend a lot of time in our Order Out of Chaos community discussing how best to support and scaffold our children with ADHD and executive function challenges.

To truly understand what challenges your daughters may be facing, you need to understand the concept of “executive age,” which is a person’s age based on how their brain works. Individuals especially children with executive dysfunction are, on average, approximately 30% behind their peers in executive age. Though your daughters are 11 and 14, their executive ages might be 8 and 10 ½, respectively, if they have organization, activation, or working memory challenges. Just because they are “old enough” to perform the tasks you described doesn’t mean they have the skill set to do so.

You ask how you can help your daughters be more self-reliant. My answer is two-fold.

Improve Executive Functioning Skills by Going Beyond “Clean Your Room”

First, ask yourself if your daughters understand what you want them to do and if they know how to do it. Requests like “clean your messy room” or “organize your closet” may be too vague for them to truly know what it is you are asking them to do. I always tell parents that a request with more than one interpretation is too overwhelming for their child’s brain. The more you ask them to figure out, the more bogged down with decisions they will be, and therefore, the less likely they will be to activate on their own.

So, you need to be as clear as you can with your instructions. Break them down into bite-sized, manageable tasks that leave no room for misinterpretation. What does that look like? Instead of “clean your room,” try these specific directions:

Place books on the bookshelf

Move clothes from the floor to the laundry hamper

Bring laundry hamper to the laundry room

Bring dirty dishes to the kitchen sink

Put dirty dishes in the dishwasher

Take trash to the outside bin

Put school supplies on the desk

You get the idea. Step-by-step instructions and visual prompts will help your daughters remember what they need to accomplish.

Want to have some fun with it? Take photos of them doing each step and post those, so they can see how to move through the tasks.

Solve a Messy Room by Understanding Learning Styles

Second, ensure that the organizing system you’re employing works for your daughters. Every person learns in a slightly different way. Some people like visual prompts; others need to hear instructions; and others need to perform the act to lay down the learning. There is never one right tactic or answer. The important takeaway is that organizing methods that work for you may not work for your daughters.

To truly teach your daughters self-reliance, you must understand how they learn best, so they can develop systems and strategies to organize their space and stuff in a way that works for them!

To do so, first, take a step back, observe what seems to be working well for them in other areas of their lives, and build from there. Look for clues! Do they color-code their school supplies? Do they prefer open shelving so that they can see all their stuff?

Next, ask questions that will bring solutions to light. Start with, “What system might work best for YOU?” If they need to see their stuff, so they know it exists, then remove the closet door! If folding clothes isn’t their thing, replace the dresser with clear bins or baskets where they can easily toss in t-shirts, jeans, socks, and underwear. If they detest hanging up clothes on hangers, ditch the rod in the closet and put up hooks or shelves.

3

Parenting Tips to Scaffold Executive Functioning Skills

Here are three rules of thumb I follow with my young clients who have weak executive functioning skills:

Clear is king. In other words, what they can’t see doesn’t exist. Well-labeled, clear bins and baskets in their bedrooms and the basement will give your daughters a natural way to receive visual reminders regarding the physical locations of all their stuff.

Take a tour of their rooms through their eyes: Sometimes, we don’t realize that our children with ADHD aren’t cleaning and organizing their spaces the way we’d like because they simply can’t. Eliminate roadblocks by taking a tour of their rooms at their eye level. Are the dresser drawers too hard to open? Can they reach the bookshelves? Does the closet door open easily? Is there enough space for everything? Once you establish what they can and cannot do and make everything accessible for them, the cleaning will come much easier.

Use music as a motivator: Use music to play “Beat the Clock,” a game where children can earn rewards or prizes by accomplishing set goals in a specific amount of time. Make a quick playlist of a few favorite songs to use as a timer and have them tackle either their room or a designated space before the music stops.

Good Luck!

Kim Muench

Parenting Adolescents

Wanda Robichaud

Toddler and Preschooler Hitting

Michele Shilvock

Managing Complex Behaviors

Jiani Lim

Offering Choices

worried? struggling? looking for answers?

WHAT I LEARNED ABOUT WHY KIDS CHEAT: A PARENT'S PERSPECTIVE

By siah Fried

“Well, I’m not saying I cheat all the time, but I do feel the pressure to get straight A’s. In fact, I am willing to stand up at a school board meeting and explain to them why, we, as students would like to see individual rankings done away with. Because we are ranked! We are well aware of our ranking amongst our peers. We are constantly competing,” the high school freshman running the meeting says this passionately as I enter my first meeting with students and faculty as the Challenge Success Representative for our local high school.

A teacher leaned over to the new freshman mother and said, “Don’t worry, freshman are not aware of the rankings."

“Yes they are, Mr. Kravitz,” he says earnestly. “Yes, they are! I always knew what my ranking was and so did every other kid I knew since freshman year.”

These were the responses to a teacher’s comment about wanting to address, “Very creative and out of control cheating issues that high schools are experiencing.”

One reason I volunteered to be the Challenge Success Representative was due to my concern with the mental health of my own students at the local community college. For the last 16 years, I had been watching the mental health in my students continue to decline. At the time of this meeting, the mental health epidemic had not been declared. As a Health, Nutrition and Women's Health professor at the local college, I would make sure my students understood mental health.

the poor mental health partially due to increased pressure on them to overachieve. A couple of principals did respond and I even met with one.Although, I offered multiple ideas, programs, parent panels, curricula to help them implement, no one wanted to touch this topic.

Many years later, as I write this article, I know the two main answers why no one wanted to prioritize the mental health of our students at this time. One reasons was an unspoken (but later an official admitted) fear that interference with the current high achieving academic record could impact the high test scores. At the time, I don't think people uninvolved in health truly understood how unhealthy our kids had become as they chased "success". The other reason was that mental health still was very stigmatized at this time so the school district didn't want to admit kids in their schools and community were afflicted. There was an uneducated and naive belief that mental health didn't exist in their town or in their home.

What I found so refreshing at this meeting was the authentic manner that the students and teachers exchanged their thoughts. I admired the honesty, respect, and thoughtfulness of this conversation between students and adults. I understood very well the power of discussing the actual problem that you want to address with the people who are most afflicted. I was in awe of the articulate and mature manner the students addressed these issues with their teachers and administrators. How wonderful that they felt comfortable to speak so honestly to them about such important issues! I respect the teachers and administrators for allowing such an interaction to take place.

You don’t have to agree with the opposing side, but if you truly want to see change happen, you need be unafraid to speak your truth and you need to always remain respectful (disagree strongly or not) and listen to the opposing side. I was so impressed with the progress that this committee made after just one meeting.

I sat, wide eyed, holding my breath as the first girl had opened the discussion so candidly about cheating. I looked around the room, waiting for the vice principal or teachers to hand cuff her or at least write her name down. In my days in school, we would never be so bold to admit such a thing to administration. Of course, it wasn’t done at such creative measures either. We never discussed the drastic methods students must have been employing for the teacher to call them “creative and out of hand”. I am still curious.

The open and honest atmosphere amongst this group reminded me of discussions shared by my health classes and myself when we would discuss an article about The Price of Privilege. I used the article as an introduction for the lengthy discussion that always ensued after reading it. A lot of candid sharing would take place in the classroom and we would discuss the reality of the pressure students today feel to overachieve. The true experts in this area are the students themselves.

The main inspiration behind the controversial book I wrote, Tales from Swankville, was the students with whom I shared these frank discussions. I heard repeatedly from readers that the student quotes that open each chapter were very compelling. I have yet to find a kid who isn’t feeling the intense pressure weighing on them in one way or another. I also found that many of my students may not have felt overly stressed themselves but always could relate to it through a friend, sibling, neighbor or classmate. In other words, they are all very aware of the stress and pressure. Thus it doesn’t surprise me that at the first meeting I attend at this high school forum for students and administration, that cheating is the topic. I am surprised at the courage these students had to admit to it and even boldly pointed out to the school administration that the intense amount of tests and homework contributed to their desire to cheat because their workload was simply too much.

Cheating is happening at an alarming rate and in ways parents of my generation could not even imagine. Kids are under so much pressure to have an impressive resume that many are athletes and high achieving academics. They may play an instrument and feel they must take a minimum of two AP classes. They also need to volunteer or create a patent for something for some colleges to look at them. In all honesty, could you fit in the hours you need to study for one AP class let alone any other class? Thus to get the grades they are expected to get and to stay on that sport team, they just may need to cheat. Is this how we want our next generation to feel? They won’t know any other way to handle all of their pressure, but to take short cuts at any cost.

According to some students, many parents know about this, but turn their cheek.Other students claim their parents do their homework or projects to help them out. After all, an adult knows all too well that it’s not humanly possible to excel at such high levels in music, sports, academics, social causes and relationships without something having to give. Some parents and students will keep up the façade of excellence at great lengths What is all of this doing to kids physically and emotionally now and down the road?

Three Tips for Protecting Children and Teens from Serious Harm

By Kate Garzón, M.Ed. Guided Parenting Support - GPS®, LLC

One of the things I hear most often from parents is "I want my kids to be healthy, and I want them to be safe." The list of things that parents worry about is long and terrifying, and when those long-term worries are combined with the day-to-day details of keeping children and teens fed, clean, laundered, chauffeured, entertained, homework finished, and the household generally running, it's very easy to get so swept up in the "how" of parenting that we lose the "why."

The "why," of course, is because humans are hardwired for attachment, connection, and the evolutionary drive to carry on the species. We’re wired for relationships. We now have plenty of data that tells us that at least one supportive, trusting, consistent relationship with a caring and reliable adult is the most important protective factor against all of the really scary stuff that parents worry about. That's it. ONE really strong relationship with a reliable and supportive adult

However, in order to be that adult protective factor, children and teens need to see you as their safe place. They need to trust you as someone who has kept their word, who has consistently held firm boundaries in a loving way, and who is capable of knowing how to help them problemsolve no matter how deep they've dug a hole, and no matter how overwhelmed and scared they feel.

These relationships don't happen overnight, they require continuous investment on the part of the adult, and they erode more quickly than we realize unless we actively strive to be someone that children and teens want to spend time with. So, how do we ensure that children and teens want to spend time with us?

Here are three quick tips for improving and growing safe, supportive, trusting, loving relationships between parents and kids/teens:

"Find the Fun"

When you're in the middle of the chaos of raising children and teens, it can be really easy to lose the fun. However, if you think about the people that you choose to spend your limited and valuable free time with, it's usually people with whom you have fun. Favorite co-workers? The ones you can laugh with. Favorite childhood family member? Your hilarious aunt who made life seem like a game. If you want to strengthen your relationships with your children, finding the fun is a great first step! It doesn’t have to be grand gestures or expensive events; simply look for the small ways to infuse more laughter and joy into everyday activities.

"Notice Your Interactions"

When kiddos are teeny, almost everything they do elicits delight from the adults around them. We applaud their smiles, their coos, the first time their spoon actually finds their mouth, their first steps, the funny and silly and clever things they do As they get older, though, we focus more on their grades, manners, and the state of their room and those delighted interactions become fewer and farther between. Before long, much of what adults say to children and teens comes in the form of an instruction, a reminder, or "feedback" that feels a lot like criticism. Try observing the things you say to your kids and teens for a day, and notice how much of it is positive, loving, encouraging, silly, and joyful or…not so much

If the scales are weighing heavily in favor of neutral or negative, actively look for ways that you can cut back on the criticism and increase the kindness in your interactions.

"Drop the Rope"

While correction and redirection are inevitable parts of the parent-child relationship, when we focus more attention on correcting than we do on connecting, it can easily turn life into a tug-of-war over every little issue. When the adult drops the rope, it simply isn't a tug-of-war anymore. Ask yourself, what can you let go of because it just doesn't matter in the long term? And when you can't "let go" because it's a safety, hygiene, respect, or other vitally important issue, how can you use affection, playfulness, laughter, and connection to disrupt their expectations in a positive way to redirect the behavior, rather than issuing a command or a consequence? You'll be surprised at how much easier it is to get cooperation, and how much better you'll feel about the interactions.

These three tips for building relationships are also three tips for protecting your children and teens from serious harm over their lifetimes, because your loving, safe, trusting, reliable, supportive and fun relationship with them IS their best protective factor. So go out and have some fun!

Julia Ferguson

How to Ask New Questions to Engage our Adolescents

Ashley Ladouceur

Stop Yelling and connect with your young kids

Cindy Brown

Growth Mindset and SocialEmotional Learning

5 ways to help your child with challenging behaviors

Routines for Parents of Children with Special Needs

Supermom

in 2 minutes or less!

Mary Kirchgestner

Mary Peterson Cook

Deborah Porter

Syndrome

WHEN YOU NEED HELP

FIND A PARENT COACH

Gone are the days of shame when you mention 'your therapist'. If you are having a difficult time dealing with all the stresses of the world, seek help from one of the many qualified parent coaches and counsellors in your area. WHERE

w h a t i f t h e a n s w e r t o y o u r l i f e a n d b u s i n e s s

s u c c e s s w a s

H U M A N

C O N N E C T I O N

If you are a Parent

If you are a Parent Coach

COLD & FLU SEASON

IS IT A FEVER?

When your child is sick they may have a fever. If you think your child has a fever, use a thermometer. Your child has a fever if their temperature is above the number listed here:

PRINT pthis age

Claire Cetti

Power Struggles

Jennifer Boudrye

Parenting Teen Conflict, and LGBTQIA+ Teens

Aparna Venkataraman

Breathwork

Lalaine Frankel

Sibling Relationships

Kate Garzon

Approaching Behaviour with Curiosity

Taylor Ross

How to Select a College

Essay Coach

Phinnah Chichi

Communicating with your Tweens and Teens

Dale Troy

Preparing for College

REINFORCEMENT...

IT IS NOT A BAD WORD

EachandeverydayIhavetheprivilege ofworkingwithsomanyincredible educatorsandparentsasthey navigatethecomplexitiesofdiverse learnersandchallengingbehavioursin children.Inrecentyears,Ihaveseena shiftintheparentingworld,onewhere parentsaremadetofeelshamefor usingreinforcementtomotivate childrenandaretoldthatusing reinforcementisproblematicand lessensanypotentialforintrinsic motivationtodeveloporsustain.

Eventhoughtherearedecadesof researchthatwouldsayotherwise, thesemessagescontinueanditisfor thisreasonIfeltcompelledtowritethe article

Manyprofessionalshaveoversimplified theuseoftoolstomotivatechildren, eventhoughweknowthatbehaviours aresoverynuancedandlayeredby behaviourcomplexitiesand neurodivergentchildren.Formany childrentheintrinsicmotivationis simplynottherewhenothersmake requeststothem.Thesemightinclude requestsaboutpersonalcare, regulation,socialengagementand curricularparticipationtonameafew.

Whenadultstakethetimeto understandwhatachildvaluesand wherevalueisnon-existent,they becomemuchmoreequippedwitha deeperunderstandingforwhyachild mayormaynotdosomethingand howtotheninsertextrinsicmotivation tohelpsupportskilldevelopment

M I C H E L E S H I L V O C K , M . E D . B C B A

Why reinforcement is not a bad word when it comes to parenting

This is often very apparent for neurodivergent children, children with a diagnosis of ADHD, Autism, Oppositional Defiance Disorder, Anxiety, Learning disabilities and more, as these children often are not motivated intrinsically to the same degree, presenting with more narrow value fields. Why are values important? Well it is in a child's values that their intrinsic motivation lies. If they hold high value for a task or behaviour then they are far more likely to perform it without the need for anything external, but if the value is low or non-existent, then motivation is also low and the benefits of inserting external forms of reinforcement become very high.

How reinforcement is used is very important, in part because it can also be overused and not faded out when warranted, thus where it's bad reputation originates from. It's not reinforcement itself that is the problem, but rather the missteps in implementation that many adults encounter. To improve the effectiveness of reinforcement here are a few considerations and tips.

1) Be behaviour specific in your praiseavoid the "good jobs," because frankly what do they mean? Instead hone in on what the child is doing that is desired.

2) Utilize natural forms for praise / reinforcement where you can. If a child is successful then consider letting them transition to the next, or continue the activity vs. stopping to make a grand gesture.

3) Provide praise to the effort NOT the outcome all the time.

Research has shown that it's when the big people emphasize the end vs. the effort that you end up with children heavily dependent on outward praise to do things and unwilling to try things that might be hard for fear of failure.

4) When starting an extrinsic form of reinforcement, focus first on a high rate of delivery and a more immediate approach of reinforcement delivery that follows right after that desired behaviour.

5) Be realistic with what you are expecting from a child. Even the best reinforcement is not likely to provide lasting positive change if the target behaviour is not developmentally inlined or realistic

6) Keep the delivery of reinforcement consistent so that the value in completing the task builds momentum.

7) Be sure to include your child in identifying what they are most motivated by, make delivery fun where you can.

So the take away for the anyone reading this article, don't be afraid to embrace the positive power of reinforcement and the value it holds in supporting the skill development of many diverse learners And if you don't find you are needing them for your child, that is ok too, but let's not shame others for using tools that are backed by decades of research in the fields of child development and behaviour science and more. Extrinsic reinforcement helps, where the internal desire / drive is to present.

WHAT ARE YOUR PRIORITIES, VALUES & NEEDS?

Aparna Venkataraman, Beauty in Parenting

When a mom comes to me overwhelmed and is stressed over ALL of the things, we do 3 things:

Take a few deep breaths

Talk about how it’s okay and natural to feel this way

Go through what’s at the forefront of your mind AND how to communicate this to others:

What is my real top need right now?

What am I making a priority each day?

What do I value as a parent? What does my partner or child value (and do they match up)?

I say this because I want to help you, as a parent coach and mindfulness teacher, to take something off of your plate. That can be:

A little task you do everyday that can be simplified

The need to check your phone or social media

ALL the time - or maybe even a FB group you can connect with less

Something that your partner or even a child (or if they’re siblings) can help you out with more often - you never know until you try!

Check out the picture on the left - my coaching clients have realized that they really NEEDED things like community, peace, organization and beauty (yes, looking good!) in their lives and so they made it a PRIORITY over time. Success and ease come in many forms :)

I hope this gives you insight into ways you can have an easier day!

Amy Saloner

Nutrition

Anita Prendergast

Massage to reduce stress

Geraldine Esemezie

Self-Esteem

Aisha Nayyar

Managing Meltdowns

Amy Stone

Blending Families

Beaven Walters

Highly Sensitive Children

Dr. Juliet Marciano

How to Shift your Parenting Mindset

Cai Graham

Anxiety

Our BEST Parenting Advice in 2 minutes or less!

We are here for you!

It has been 2 years since the beginning of the pandemic and it may not be over for some time yet. If you are wondering how to navigate life right now, please know that we are here for you. Our community of qualified Parent Coaches are ready to support you and walk with you through this challenging time. Reach out to them for a free 30-minute confidential call here!

Some Ideas to support your family during the pandemic...

Hold Family Meetings weekly to stay connected and talk about what you like and what you don't like about your time together during the pandemic

Create a contract to include items you want to keep as you move out of isolation Have everyone from the family sign it Once the world opens up fully again you may forget the things that you liked; writing it down will help keep you on track

Be careful. Encourage your kids to continue to wash their hands frequently for at least 20 seconds

Notice how often they are touching their face and help them recognize when they are doing this

Be kind. Not everyone will be ready to integrate into 'normal' activities Never judge or shame someone that is not ready to interact and participate in daily life activities like they did before the pandemic

Stay in touch with your older kids that will be heading back to college or university These are unprecedented times and they will be doing their best to 'get back to normal' but may need your support to navigate their emotions

Think about how you were not prepared for this pandemic and make a decision to be prepared if it happens again Pandemic-proof your work, stay healthy, and create a savings account and put money away each month for emergencies such as this

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If you are struggling with how your life has been affected by the pandemic, reach out for support. Our Parent Coaches can help you work through a range of emotions. They specialize in everything from newborn care, to college success, from toddler tantrums to marriage support and more. Most offer a 30-minute free confidential chat to help you through life during and after the pandemic.

Together we will be stronger and more prepared for our new and improved postpandemic lives. Just don't forget that you have all the power and control to create what that life will look like. It is, and always has been, in your hands. Sending love and strength and wisdom to you all! We have learned so much and now it is time to collectively make sure we live our best lives - in our own unique way!

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