PARENTCOACH - Summer 2023 Magazine

PARENTCOACH

TEACH A LESSON OR EXTEND KINDNESS TO ADHD TEEN?

THE IMPORTANCE OF PRESENCE IN PARENTING 20 SELF AFFIRMATIONS

FIND A Parent Coach Parent Coach

WELCOME

Welcome, my friend!

I am so happy to see you here...thank you for spending a few minutes with us! Can you believe this is our Winter edition already? Where does the time go?

How are you managing these days? You know, parenting is probably the hardest thing I have ever done. Some days I get it right, and well, some days I don't.

I put together this community of Parent Coaches to help me with the days I don't get it right. Their ideas and guidance give me space to find tools and strategies to connect with my kids and find calm in my home, but it isn't just that...they also remind me that my bad days don't define me, and I am definitely not alone.

I hope you find their words and ideas helpful. I know I do. But let me back up a bit. Do you even know what a Parent Coach does? If not, you are in the right place to explore what a Parent Coach can do for you and your family. To me, they are everything!

Keep reading because I will:

tell you what a Parent Coach can do for your family introduce you to Parent Coaches from around the world share advice from these trusted Parent Coaches give you the next steps if you need help right now

We aren’t here to preach and tell you what to do - we are here to love and encourage you on your journey - your unique journey. See you inside, you awesome parent, you!

Jennifer XOXO

Jennifer McCallum, Mom, and Founder of the Parent Coach Club

THANK YOU!

I don't even know where to start when I think about how grateful I am to be here, with you, doing what I love, day in and day out!

This issue is all about the people that help us help our kids to grow into the independent, incredible adults they are destined to be.

I am lucky enough to work with the best Parent Coaches from across the world as they make it their life mission to transform families from chaos to connection.

Please join me as I celebrate each and every one of them in this special issue!

And, if you are raising or working with kids and struggle with anything, please reach out to these Parent Coaches...they are here for you!

Jennifer McCallum Founder of the Parent Coach Club

Are you a Parent Coach? Consider becoming a Parent Coach Club Member!

We meet for monthly Mastermind Calls, Case Study Calls, and Business Training sessions where you gain the skills to grow your business along with others doing this valuable work

https://www.jenmccallum.com/jointheclub

YOUR PARENTING PATH TO PEACE

2

1 S T E P 3

IDENTIFY WHAT YOU NEED

Take time to identify what is holding you back from peace in your home.

S T E P S T E P FIND A PARENT COACH TRANSFORM YOUR LIFE Transform your life and relationships. Implementing just one small idea can have a huge impact in your life.

Find a Parent Coach. Our Parent Coaches specialize in all areas from tantrums to paying for college and everything in between.

WHAT IS A PARENT COACH?

Parent coaches are experts trained to handle many different parenting issues...

...with positive, practical solutions. Unlike therapists who treat diagnosed mental health conditions, parent coaches are consultants who provide tools, activities, guidance and support to parents and families.

A parent coach can help you individually or in a group setting by giving you the means to help you and your child:

Successfully achieve your parenting goals by asking the right questions

Implement a step-by-step action plan to handle challenges

Find new possibilities by sharing new perspectives and strategies to shift behaviour and family dynamics

Parent coaches offer proactive yet practical solutions to a long list of parenting issues, including:

Behavioural concerns

Family changes or crisis

Self-care

Child development

Mental health

Positive parenting practices

As you can see in the articles in this magazine, they specialize in these topics and many more. Find a Parent Coach to give you and your family the help you need. We are one click away!

Parent coaches offer proactive yet practical solutions

OUR STORY

By Jennifer McCallum, Founder of the Parent Coach Club

I guess you could say I was a typical first-time mom. I wanted to do it all perfectly and never mess up. I wanted to show the world that I could do it all and do it well.

And then my first child was born.

That was almost 25 years ago.

Bringing home our baby was terrifying. I was lost. I was tired. I was frustrated. I needed help but I didn't know where to go to get it. I had trouble with everything - breastfeeding, dealing with the lack of sleep, maintaining my relationships and having enough confidence to know what I was doing was right...the whole gambit!

At the time, I was sent home from the hospital with bags and bags of pamphlets and fliers. I was expected to sift through and find the resources I needed. Well, this tired mom couldn't find them at all..there were so many pamphlets to go through and each time I would call a listed organization, they would send me to another one. It was like a wild goose chase just to get a straight answer.

There was no Google to go to when I needed help with one specific thing like breastfeeding, first foods for baby, diapering, and daycare

We ended up back in the hospital with our new baby a few days after the birth.

It was a traumatic experience for all of us and thanks to the fabulous nurses, we were able to make it through and leave a few days later with a healthy baby

Fast forward a few months later when I found it difficult to find information about things like: cloth diapering, organic food, community playgroups, and daycare options I felt like it was a full-time job to research all the choices I had to make as a parent, and in the process was saddened by the time I was missing out on just enjoying my new baby.

How could I help other parents? Maybe a pamphlet would help...one that listed all the community resources –something like the phone book (remember them?) but just for parents???

I called the maternal newborn care units at the local hospitals and asked them if they would hand out a pamphlet of resources if I put it together Without question, they agreed That pamphlet ended up being a 100-page book!

That first year, with a toddler and 5 month-old baby, we delivered our first edition of the books to the hospitals as promised

For 18 years, I printed parenting resource books that went to every new parent after their baby was born. 16 of those years I also printed a School-Age edition for parents of kids starting school. I expanded to new cities and before I knew it, we had printed 59 editions!

What a ride.

I spent the next two years researching in a fog of worry, stress, confusion, and the ever-present overwhelm.

I tried to go back to work and wondered if I would ever find any work as rewarding as raising my baby It seemed like life had gone on for everyone else and I was still trying to figure out this new mom gig and failing

And then, one day, it became clear what I needed to do I needed to help other new parents so they didn't have to go through what I did

There had to be a better way...and I knew I wasn't alone. If I was going through this, there must be other parents out there who had the same trouble finding information.

"THERE HAD TO BE A BETTER WAY...I KNEW I WASN'T ALONE."

JENNIFER MCCALLUM

And, then my kids grew up and became teens. It was yet another stage I wasn't prepared for.

When my first baby was born, I created resource books...when the first two kids entered school, I created a school-age book...but teens...this was a whole new area to navigate...and I wasn't ready!

I felt like I was always the last one to the party the party of understanding teens

I struggled with the everyday things that teens go through, not willing to give up control, and adding a lot of stress, shame, and guilt, onto both my teens and myself

In the midst of this, we also adopted twins

I knew I needed to be better than I was. I knew that if I just had the key to the answers, I would be the best mom ever. I had four kids counting on me now.

That is when I discovered Parent Coaches. They changed my life.

I began working with them and my relationship with my kids became better. I also felt better about myself and that forward positive motion really does create more peace at home. They gave me tools and strategies to use to build our relationship. In fact, one small idea created the biggest impact....and I got this in a 30-minute chat with a Parent Coach!

At the same time, I was also pivoting my business and wondering what I could do next to continue to help parents, without printing thousands of books each year Google was a much better, environmentally friendly way to find resources now

The answer was right in front of me. Parent Coaches! I could help Parent Coaches grow their business so they could help more parents, like me.

But, there was a problem - not many parents had even heard of what a Parent Coach could do for their family.

Read

Now, this is a very short overview of how we got here It was not easy and some days I even wondered if I was cut out to be a mom. There is a link below if you want to read more, but I want to leave you with one thing to consider....

What do you want your relationship to be like when your kids are adults?

I wanted mine to be better, and thanks to Parent Coaches, this is exactly what I got. My kids are now 24, 22, 17, and 17. I may be a bit biased, but I think they are the best kids in the world and I am grateful that I worked with Parent Coaches so I could be the mom they needed me to be. It's a work in process, but I am getting there!

Jennifer

our full story & lessons learned

I set out with one main mission: Create awareness of Parent Coaches so that families could find the joy and peace that we were experiencing.

XOXO

THE IMPORTANCE OF PRESENCE IN PARENTING

By siah Fried

Can you recall a parenting situation you approached when you weren’t present? What happened? What worked? What didn’t?

One of the most useful tools I have discovered, through the coaching certification program, through Jai Parenting Institute is the Peace Process. I use it to help parents deal with any challenging situation. The first step is presence. Since we live in a world full of distractions, it is easy to think we are offering our kids our full attention when we aren’t really doing so. The practice of presence allows us to be 100% present for our child so we can meet them in the very moment they most need us. When we are truly present for our kids, we can approach any parenting challenge with a more calm state of mind to help them problem solve creatively. The next time you have a challenging parenting situation try to take a second or minute (depending on the urgency) to pause and take a deep breath, put the phone down and all other distractions aside. If you try to be the most prepared possible for any parenting situation by being calm and open, it can be an important teachable moment for both of you .

After being present, we are more able to connect to feelings and needs. Give it a try! For many of us, it will take practice. Remember to have grace for yourself because we can’t do it perfectly all of the time.

These are the words from the Empathy and Emotional Connection step that resonated with me and are a helpful take away: “No need to FIX, CHANGE, or SAVE our children from their feelings, their conflicts, or their growth moments. From presence and inner safety, we can simply BE with our children, and ourselves in our emotions, feelings, and needs.” Jai Institute for Parenting.

This is one of the best pieces of parenting advice I have received and can offer to others.

20 SELF AFFIRMATIONS for Mommies of young kids

By Sohni Fahad Parenting Ups and Downs

I am a good mom, doing my best to raise my children with love and care I am allowed to take breaks and prioritize my own needs as well.

I am capable of handling the challenges that come with parenting.

I am allowed to ask for help and support when I need it

My children love and appreciate me, even if they don't always show it.

I am doing important work as a mother and it is valued.

I am patient and understanding with my children, even when it's difficult.

I am allowed to set boundaries and say no when I need to.

I am a positive role model for my children and they look up to me.

I am grateful for the opportunity to raise my children and watch them grow.

I am taking care of myself so that I can better take care of my family.

I am not perfect, but I am enough for my children.

I am deserving of self-care and time for myself.

I am patient with myself and allow myself grace when things don't go as planned.

I am a source of comfort and safety for my children.

I am creating happy memories and experienced for my family

I am allowed to make mistakes and not be too hard on myself.

I am teaching my children important life skills and values.

I am a good listener and communicator with my children.

I am grateful for the joy and love my children bring into my life.

Kim Muench

Parenting Adolescents

Wanda Robichaud

Toddler and Preschooler Hitting

Michele Shilvock

Managing Complex Behaviors

Jiani Lim

Offering Choices

worried? struggling? looking for answers?

MOBILE APP RECOMMENDATIONS

Cozi Family Organizer

Cozi is a popular family organization app that helps parents manage schedules, appointments, and to-do lists for the whole family It allows you to create and share calendars, set reminders, and assign tasks. The app also includes a shared shopping list, recipe box, and a journal for capturing memorable family moments.

Khan Academy Kids

Khan Academy Kids is an educational app for children aged 2 to 7. It offers a wide range of interactive activities, books, and educational games that cover various subjects such as math, reading, language, and social-emotional learning. The app provides a curriculum-aligned content and encourages independent exploration and learning in a fun and engaging way.

TEACH A LESSON OR EXTEND KINDNESS TO ADHD TEEN?

by Leslie Josel - ADHD Academic Coach

Q: Should I Let My Teen Suffer the Consequences of His Actions?

Q: “My son is 15 and has ADHD. He’s a really good kid and usually responsible, but I never know if I should help him out or not when he forgets stuff or misses something. Most of the time I let him suffer the consequences but other times I help him out. Am I doing the right thing?” – ConflictedMom

Hi ConflictedMom:

Boy did this question resonate with me. Deciding whether we should allow our son (who has ADHD) to “sink or swim” took center stage for most of his high school years! That said, I’m going to put on my parenting hat to lend you my perspective: Knowing when to step in or stand back is NEVER a one-size-fits-all decision. Though I considered many factors, the one that always superseded the others was where Eli sat on my “responsibility meter.” Let me share with you a story from his high school days to illustrate my point.

Eli juggled a lot his senior year in high school. Six classes, homework, play rehearsal, his high school’s Shakespeare troupe, college applications and, of course, all the “stuff” that goes with being a senior. It was a lot to keep on top of! One morning, when he was in a rush to get out the door for school, he left behind his permission slip for a special out-of-town performing arts weekend that was a rite of passage for the seniors in his theater program.

How did I know all this? Because at about 9 that morning, as I was driving home from a speaking engagement I had in Albany the night before, I got the dreaded call: “Mom, where are you?”

Eli was clearly upset that he forgot the slip, and since the sign up was first-come, first-served, he needed to hand it in during theater class (which was in about an hour) or he would possibly not get a spot. And since he had a test in the period before theater, he couldn’t drive home to get it himself. You get the picture.

So what did I do?

My initial instinct was to say no.

First, I wasn’t planning on going straight home, so this would mean a HUGE change of plans for me.

Second, we talk A LOT about responsibility in our house. And this had the potential of being a HUGE teaching moment. “Your trip, your responsibility.” “What would you have done next year when you are in college?” And lastly, he could go home during lunch to get it and take his chances that there would be a few slots left.

But then the mom in me took over. “He’s been working really hard. It’s one permission slip on one crazy morning. Opening night was last night and he’s exhausted. What’s the big deal if you play ‘Nice Mom’ and bring it to him? This trip is the highlight of senior year.” And on it went.

“I’ll meet you at the school in an hour,” I said.

As I drove along the highway, I thought long and hard as to why I said yes. Maybe because Eli is pretty responsible keeping on top of his stuff and doing what he needs to do with limited prompting. Or I just didn’t want Eli to miss this trip. It was too big a consequence for such a small misstep. But more likely I knew that, at that moment, kindness was an equally important lesson to teach.

So did I let my son sink or swim? Neither really. I like to think of myself as his lifeguard that day throwing him a rope so he could help himself out of the deep end.

The point I’m trying to make is that it all comes down to what feels right for you in that specific moment. So, trust your instincts. You’ll know when to get out of the pool.

Good Luck!

Julia Ferguson

How to Ask New Questions to Engage our Adolescents

Cindy Brown

Growth Mindset and SocialEmotional Learning

Ashley Ladouceur

Stop Yelling and connect with your young kids

5 ways to help your child with challenging behaviors

Routines for Parents of Children with Special Needs

Supermom

in 2 minutes or less!

Mary Kirchgestner

Mary Peterson Cook

Deborah Porter

Syndrome

WHEN YOU NEED HELP

FIND A PARENT COACH

Gone are the days of shame when you mention 'your therapist'. If you are having a difficult time dealing with all the stresses of the world, seek help from one of the many qualified parent coaches and counsellors in your area. WHERE

If you are a Parent

If you are a Parent Coach

COLD & FLU SEASON

IS IT A FEVER?

When your child is sick they may have a fever. If you think your child has a fever, use a thermometer. Your child has a fever if their temperature is above the number listed here:

PRINT pthis age

Claire Cetti

Power Struggles

Jennifer Boudrye

Parenting Teen Conflict, and LGBTQIA+ Teens

Aparna Venkataraman

Breathwork

Lalaine Frankel

Sibling Relationships

Kate Garzon

Approaching Behaviour with Curiosity

Taylor Ross

How to Select a College

Essay Coach

Phinnah Chichi

Communicating with your Tweens and Teens

Dale Troy

Preparing for College

MY BIGGEST PARENTING MISTAKE YET

Ashley Ladouceur, The Candidly Connected Coach

Before I had kids let me tell you…

I was the most perfect parent. I was patient, calm, mindful and so much freaking fun!

Going into being a parent I thought I had it in the bag. I knew everything there was to know about behaviours and thought there was nothing my kids would throw at me I wouldn't be able to handle.

Then I had kids… and well I was dead wrong.

I was impatient, irritable, stern, and actually a bit (OK a lot) of a control freak. I was seeing behaviours in my kids I never thought MY kids would have. They threw BIG, aggressive tantrums, they spoke with such “disrespect”, and they NEVER listened to me.

This wasn’t working.

So I threw myself into more education, wanting something or someone to tell me how to fix these problems, their problems. Someone to tell me what strategy I can put in place to “make” my kids behave, and believe me I tried them all. For those of you that have been around a while, I even coached on these strategies.

And this was my BIGGEST parenting mistake yet.

As humans, we make 80% of our decisions based on our emotions, not our head. This is a problem because as a society we value the head and no one (at least not many) is used to paying any attention to what is going on in our heart and body For me this was the big AHA I had been looking for

It makes total sense why any strategy I would try worked once or twice (when I could remember to use it) and then would flop. I wasn’t showing up in the “behaviours” with my head, none of us are. I was showing up with my full heart, and let me tell you I had no idea what it was telling me.

Let me give you an example.

Let’s say you asked your child to clean their room and they immediately lash out at you. “This sucks. You’re so mean. I’m never cleaning my room.” You probably already know that there are tricks and games you can play to get them to comply but instead you immediately threaten “Well if you don’t clean your room, I’m throwing out all of your toys!” (This sounds too familiar) You acted from your heart (anger, frustration) and not your head (strategies and tricks).

So how do we fix this disconnect?

How do we learn to hear our heart and body so that we CAN access all that great information in our head?

This is the Parent-Centric work of coaching, and believe me it’s work, but it is crucial in being able to show up for our kids again and again in hard, triggering, frustrating as h*ll situations. Because it's not about fixing our kids' behaviour, or making them listen, or going to bed, or eating their dinner. It’s about showing up in every situation with safety and confidence no matter what.

The first step I tell parents is to start practising ACTUALLY being in your feelings I know UGH! It feels uncomfortable and I get it Ask yourself why it feels uncomfortable. Is it because you were never encouraged to feel and show emotions before?

Is it because it just feels too painful? You are not alone. Feelings are hard.

And this is our WHY. We don’t want kids who repeat this cycle. Kids who are afraid or uncomfortable to listen to their emotions so they boil over like us. We want better for them. We want them to be able to speak their feelings and needs without fear. We want to break the cycle!

Time to practise.

Stop for just a minute and breathe. A deep breath IN and OUT.

Name 3 to 5 feelings in your body at this very moment. Where are you feeling them? (Chest, neck, stomach, etc.)

Breathe IN and OUT. Sit here for just a minute.

What are you needing? (Space, cooperation, love, etc.)

That’s it You did it You just allowed yourself the space to feel This practice is how we move through our feelings without having them creep up on us. When we get really good at this it becomes second nature and we will actually catch those feelings and understand them before they even have a chance to take over NAME it to TAME it.

Do this practise several times a day - in the triggers and in the joys.

If you are struggling to understand how this applies to your parenting and are looking for more support, I guide parents on this exact journey, helping them to stop showing up with the chaos and consequences and move to connection and collaboration.

Book Recommendations

"The Whole-Brain Child: 12 Revolutionary Strategies to Nurture Your Child's Developing Mind"

by Daniel J. Siegel and Tina Payne Bryson

This book explores how understanding the workings of the brain can help parents raise resilient, emotionally intelligent children. It offers practical strategies for fostering healthy brain development and dealing with common parenting challenges.

"How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk"

by Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish

This classic parenting book offers practical communication techniques to foster better understanding and cooperation between parents and children. It provides valuable insights on how to resolve conflicts, improve discipline, and build a strong parent-child relationship.

"The Montessori Toddler: A Parent's Guide to Raising a Curious and Responsible Human Being

by Simone Davies

This book applies the principles of Montessori education to toddlerhood. It offers strategies for creating a supportive environment that encourages independence, self-discipline, and a love for learning.

"

Mini Mac & Cheese Bites

3 dozen 45 minutes

INGREDIENTS

2 cups uncooked elbow macaroni

1 cup seasoned bread crumbs, divided

2 tablespoons butter

2 tablespoons all-purpose flour

1/2 teaspoon onion powder

1/2 teaspoon garlic powder

1/2 teaspoon seasoned salt

1-3/4 cups 2% milk

2 cups shredded sharp cheddar cheese, divided

1 cup shredded Swiss cheese

3/4 cup biscuit/baking mix

2 large eggs, room temperature, lightly beaten

Source: Taste of Home

DIRECTIONS

1 2

Preheat oven to 425° Cook macaroni according to package directions; drain. Meanwhile, sprinkle 1/4 cup bread crumbs into 36 greased mini-muffin cups. In a large saucepan, melt butter over medium heat Stir in flour and seasonings until smooth; gradually whisk in milk. Bring to a boil, stirring constantly; cook and stir until thickened, 1-2 minutes Stir in 1 cup cheddar cheese and Swiss cheese until melted Remove from heat; stir in biscuit mix, eggs and 1/2 cup bread crumbs. Add macaroni; toss to coat Spoon about 2 tablespoons macaroni mixture into prepared mini-muffin cups; sprinkle with remaining cheddar cheese and bread crumbs. Bake until golden brown, 8-10 minutes. Cool in pans 5 minutes before serving

Customize these bites by adding mix-ins like chopped jalapenos, crumbled bacon or minced garlic

Hand-grating cheese for any mac and cheese tends to result in the smoothest, tastiest sauce.

3.

4.

Nutrition

Geraldine Esemezie

Anita Prendergast

Massage to reduce stress

Aisha Nayyar

Managing Meltdowns Our

Self-Esteem

Amy Stone

Blending Families

Beaven Walters

Highly Sensitive Children

Dr. Juliet Marciano

How to Shift your Parenting Mindset

Cai Graham

Anxiety

Our BEST Parenting Advice in 2 minutes or less!

We are here for you!

It has been 2 years since the beginning of the pandemic and it may not be over for some time yet. If you are wondering how to navigate life right now, please know that we are here for you. Our community of qualified Parent Coaches are ready to support you and walk with you through this challenging time. Reach out to them for a free 30-minute confidential call here!

Some Ideas to support your family during the pandemic...

Hold Family Meetings weekly to stay connected and talk about what you like and what you don't like about your time together during the pandemic

Create a contract to include items you want to keep as you move out of isolation Have everyone from the family sign it Once the world opens up fully again you may forget the things that you liked; writing it down will help keep you on track

Be careful. Encourage your kids to continue to wash their hands frequently for at least 20 seconds

Notice how often they are touching their face and help them recognize when they are doing this

Be kind. Not everyone will be ready to integrate into 'normal' activities Never judge or shame someone that is not ready to interact and participate in daily life activities like they did before the pandemic

Stay in touch with your older kids that will be heading back to college or university These are unprecedented times and they will be doing their best to 'get back to normal' but may need your support to navigate their emotions

Think about how you were not prepared for this pandemic and make a decision to be prepared if it happens again Pandemic-proof your work, stay healthy, and create a savings account and put money away each month for emergencies such as this

Our Parent Coaches offer a FREE 30-minute, confidential call! Reach out to them at

If you are struggling with how your life has been affected by the pandemic, reach out for support. Our Parent Coaches can help you work through a range of emotions. They specialize in everything from newborn care, to college success, from toddler tantrums to marriage support and more. Most offer a 30-minute free confidential chat to help you through life during and after the pandemic.

Together we will be stronger and more prepared for our new and improved postpandemic lives. Just don't forget that you have all the power and control to create what that life will look like. It is, and always has been, in your hands. Sending love and strength and wisdom to you all! We have learned so much and now it is time to collectively make sure we live our best lives - in our own unique way!

struggling? looking for answers?

Are you thinking about growing your Parent Coaching business but you aren't sure where to begin or how to STAND OUT?

Receive CHAPTER 1, or my new book called NICHE to get started.