The Faucet’s Guide to Choosing a Library Seat

By Alex Rosen & Wade Radmore

McLennan Redpath Library: Every student’s favourite mental breakdown location. The only place on campus where you can simultaneously lose all hope in humanity and gain infinite joy from those cute little cafeteria ladies. Today, the Faucet helps guide students in choosing the most optimal location for all their study needs. This rating will be on an assessment scale of least psychopathic to most.

- Cybertech o Keeping it very tame, this is easily the most popular floor within the complex. The recent modernization of the floor has made it a sanctuary for McGill students who feel they deserve a little more for their tuition costs. Despite the name though, there are not very many cyberpunk-style babes. This is also a great place to slam your forehead into the big lights that hang above most tables!

- McLennan 3 o Large group tables, fun-coloured desks, quiet, and accessible by both elevator and stairs: McLennan 3rd floor easily takes second on the least psychopathic floor to study on. The exception to this case is those who decide to take the elevator to 3rd when it’s already packed with students going to 5 and 6. I mean, c’mon, that wheelchair is hardly an excuse to avoid the stairs!

- McLennan 5, 6 o Students on these floors hate other people as much as they love their laptop stickers. You’ve gone to the greatest lengths to avoid human contact, and the sound of another student speaking is enough to turn your fellow students into vultures. Given McGill’s lack of fire safety, these floors will also lead to the most casualties in the event of a fire ravaging the building, as the fire exits are quite outdated. Happy studying!

- McLennan 2 o This is a controversial floor and therefore is relegated relatively low on this list. Despite being called a silent floor, it might as well be the illiterate floor because nobody be reading those signs. Come here to chat with your buddies while those who want to tell you to be quiet instead write hate threads on Reddit or send confessions about their bathroom sexual deviances.

- Redpath 2, 3 o While frequenters of these floors will profess their differences, I simply do not buy it. Redpath lacks the depressing feel of McLennan, but due to this, it no longer feels like a library, just a weird long room. These floors also lack accessibility for the physically handicapped. Luckily, that makes