The Plumber’s Faucet -

them excellent hiding places from your physically handicapped friends during games of hideand-seek.

- McLennan 1 o What a pathetic place to study. If you want to talk, go to Redpath 1 or the Cybertheque. Here? God, even the view sucks. Why are the tables shaped like this? This floor is full of first-time McGillians who are too lazy to wait for an elevator and too intimidated by the business of Redpath 1. Those who frequent this floor are certified chumps.

- Redpath 1 o Now, it seems fair to mention Redpath 1. Do not go here if you seek to do work. Expect the person in front of you to be on Facetime with their mom, the other across from you has asked you to watch her stuff, and the one on your side is playing Geoguessr, and he is far too into it. You, of course, are only here to wait for the person-shaped chair to be empty so you can head into the abyss of dreams and forget you’re even at a library.

- Table in the Segway between Redpath and McLennan o This is the only table that looks like it should be selling Krispy Kreme donuts but does not in all of McGill. They deserve major recognition for fighting the stereotypes that tables at these sorta intersections always have. Instead, expect to be sold on joining MSERT or some similar CV padder.

Islamic Studies Library: One of the most beautiful of the McGill libraries. While Islam is in the name, anything is the game here!

- Octagonal Room o If you can find a seat here, well done. That’s half the battle. While this room is perhaps McGill’s most overhyped study spot, we’ll go easy on it in the spirit of Ramadan. If anyone is interested in Ancient Arabic that isn’t even legible to modern speakers, this is an excellent location to brush up on it!

- Non-Octagonal Rooms o Unless you’ve got the spot underneath the stairs on the couch, you’ve found yourself a lame location. While you certainly are not psychotic for choosing this spot, you definitely suffer from something. Thankfully, McGill’s Student Wellness Hub actually functions this semester, so you may be in luck in getting yourself checked out!

Birks Reading Room: Best place for feet lovers during the summer on campus. That said, despite its best attempts at being the least distracting study spot, it is very distracting. I need not explain why.

Nahum Gelber Law Library: Quit telling yourself, “omg, this will be me in four years when I graduate!” This library is for the most delusional students who think they’ll get into law school by hanging out in one. While the desks are well-designed and the aesthetic is top-notch, you will never belong here. If you do belong here, I encourage you to put this paper down and pick up a Mensa IQ book.

Marvin Duchow Music Library: You alright? Hey, wake up! Oh my goodness, you passed out there for a second. Wait, what’s that about an article rating McGill libraries? Quit messing around, Man! You’ve got your big flute recital in an hour! Get back to studying your ideal mouth movements so you can break a leg out there! Or should I say, chap a lip!

Quick Announcement on Non-Beloved and Short-Lived Faucet Comic Star

By Disgruntled Comic Writer

The Faucet reports with a heavy heart that computer science’s favourite Slavic coder, Millard McGill, has dropped out of McGill to pursue a career writing Javascript at the crypto startup “hotdog-coin.” This news comes shortly after his comic received a negative review by a random improv artist. In response, Millard said that he “only wanted to do the Javascript.” His acquaintance Connor Concordia remains a shameful Concordian with one less cool McGill friend, and the ghost of James McGill still haunts burnside’s asbestos-infested basement. Next year, Millard McGill shall be replaced with a comic no longer led by a Slavic lead character. It seems that no matter which Balkan country Millard is from, all of the other Balkans can’t help but to say incredibly xenophobic things about him. As the comic writer, I should have expected as much. We wish Millard as much success as one could wish a former Faucet star and socially inept computer science student.