McGill Reddit fights Fake News by Committing to Unfunniness

by the_plumbers_faucet on Reddit

As the screenshot above shows, the Faucet had been temporarily banned from the world-renowned shitpost collector Reddit. As the politically-correct older brother to 4chan and somehow more child-friendly sibling to Tumblr, r/mcgill is where the friendless, depressed, and hateful members of the McGill community go to complain about their choice of coming to McGill and how some first-years think they see the Aurora Borealis every time Complexe Desjardins shines on a cloudy day.

So, what did the Faucet do to earn them this ban? Well, the Faucet tried to share the prior article in this month’s issue regarding the food costs at McGill onto the decrepit forum for wastes of life such as ours. Why would the unpaid-Schulich-musicstudent-drop-outs-turned-moderators want to censor the first breath of something funny to grace their historically shameful forum pages? I, as the Faucet’s Reddit account, have a few theories.

1) Envy. These moderators read our work of art and realized they could never accomplish that even with their four years of being taught the trade of contra-alto clarinet playing.

2) Contempt. Oh, you think you’re funny? Well, I think the discussion of food pricing is fatphobic since it means people can’t eat as much as they’d like!*

3) Demon-worshipping. This one may be the most fairly obvious out of the three, but given Reddit leans left and Alex Jones claims the left worships demons, a simple deduction would lead us to conclude that some form of devilish influence played a role in this decision.

*To clarify, the Faucet is not fatphobic. We have friends of all sizes at the Faucet. All the way from skinny double-handle faucets to larger brass drum faucets.

Of course, the Faucet would not be the extremely serious, non-satirical, clearly real journal that it is without further pushing on these claims. What follows is the exact transcript of the conversation that occurred:

Me: why ban

Me: why are you hiding the truth. you are choosing the wrong side of history. Me: be the change you want to see in the world.

Them: hilarious

I received no further communication from the anonymous bastards past that point. I still see no reason as to why such an uncontroversial article would be censored. On Instagram, we received a world of support! It should be mentioned that the article was slightly edited to better match Reddit’s up-close-and-personal style, but those changes were minimal.

For example, we changed the title to the completely normal headline of “Food Services is now RAISING prices of the cafe in response to student outrage.” I cannot see why this would be an unlikeable title. If anything, it’s premonition since we all know they’ll up the prices again next semester after the hype dies down.

Anyway, we’ll try to post on Reddit more when that website stops being a cesspool for haters of factual news reporting. We recommend Faucet readers avoid the forum despite this, as if we are being censored, it would not be surprising if other marginalized voices were not being given a space to be heard.