BLOG spot The Sneaky Lie that Stunts the Entrepreneur By Elle Wilson
It took thirty-two years of my life to admit to myself that I was obsessed with success. No cost was too high. I had so much riding on the outcome. Twenty-one years old and so much to prove. I didn’t have a mentor back then. I just had me. A young girl with a dream. I dreamt myself way into the ground. This is not uncommon in our industry and there are many reasons for it. In this article, we’ll take a look at one of the most insidious. It’s sneaky and its consequences can be extremely painful. I was so lucky because I finally came to the realization that it wasn’t really the need for success that was driving me; it was the fear of failure. What would that mean about me if I failed? Somewhere within I believed it was possible to fail. Is it? Every single entrepreneur that has accomplished great things will sing songs about the stuff we did that didn’t work out. It’s actually how we learn. You see, we don’t call them “failures”; we call those situations “learning curves.” We open up to them and we don’t beat ourselves up nor do we work ourselves to the bone to avoid them. Without mistakes, we cannot learn. How many mistakes? Well, that is a different question. Repeating the same mistakes means you are not deeply examining how you make choices and decisions. If you can accept this about yourself, that in and of itself, is a success. To see this and create a change in your destiny… WOW! That’s where the entrepreneurial magic is. That’s what it’s about: Honesty, realization, and growth. There is no entrepreneur on this planet that hasn’t had to accept that fulfilling her desired vision is dependent MOSTLY on her inner development and growth. Honesty is the first step. She stops blaming, projecting, complaining, gossiping, obsessing over her competition. She has a far more powerful perspective. She is finally free of this sneaky little lie that success means that you never fail. It took me years to finally realize that exploiting myself and driving myself into the ground stemmed from my fear of failure. Somewhere I had told myself that lie. I had told myself that I wasn’t enough and only if I achieved my vision would I be worthy. It was a painful time. Let’s be clear, this wasn’t conscious. I wasn’t thinking about failure, only about success, right? The Webster dictionary says: “Being successful means the achievement of desired visions and planned goals.” But what if these visions we desire and the goals we plan are never enough? We are never fulfilled. We get busier and busier and find ourselves depleted and end up not really liking who we have become. We have little time for our family, we are ravaged with guilt and we have trouble sleeping. Get what I’m saying? What we fail to realize is that the person who started this hoo-ha in the first place was hoping that success would finally complete her. Haven’t we heard that statement before? Whether it’s another person or our vision or our goal that is needed to complete us, we are on the wrong track. 58
Beauty Biz Year 14 Issue 3
It seems irresponsible not to write about it and take a closer look. To offer each of us the opportunity to embrace our dreams in a new way. Free of misleading and false beliefs, we find our real strength. We discover an innate power of productivity that doesn’t deplete us. After several years of thinking I hadn’t achieved enough, earned enough, helped enough, made enough people look and feel beautiful… I was physically, mentally and spiritually exhausted. What a blessing! That’s when everything changed! Maybe I was enough and it was literally impossible for me to be defined by my actions? Maybe there was something I was missing? There is nothing normal about exhaustion and becoming a person you don’t even like. There is nothing normal about constantly thinking about your competitors, what they’re doing, how to beat them. That’s not normal; it’s an opportunity to honestly say, “Maybe I am at a learning curve? Maybe opening myself up to a learning experience is what I need?” Our businesses don’t exhaust us in and of themselves. We do. Let me be clear: I don’t work less. I don’t do less. I probably do more, but I am doing it all from a space of inner openness and peace. I have my moments, but my thyroid isn’t off the charts, my adrenals are in good shape, and I am sleeping well. My sharing is about inspiring you with the possibility of there being another way. What is around the corner for you is beautiful. Yes, it will mean that you will have to take in a new perspective about what success is and what it looks like. You will also admit that failure, well, you may have misunderstood what it means, and even take it too seriously. If you do one thing after reading this article, I hope you reconsider that you may be wrong about what failure means. Then you will begin to unravel the unconscious fib that your actions define you. To step up and step into your entrepreneurial shoes, you need a new perspective around success and failure. This is when your desired vision and goals become an exciting adventure where you finally have no competitors to obsess over. You don’t think about winning. You love living, learning, and growing. Say no to exhaustion, adrenal fatigue, and the like. Revisit your purpose for your business, dig a little deeper within and empower yourself. Say yes, to the magicalness of openness, honesty, and authenticity! Revel in the success of others! Become an innovator instead of a taker, and enjoy the fruits of your labor. Business and life is about grace. If you can’t find it right now, but you are interested in a new way, you are at the precipice of a learning curve. Elle Wilson is a Brows and Business Guru www.truebrow.com
