MEN of Valor Magazine by Rebirth

REBIRTH! ISSSUE 03 SUMMER 2018

MEN’S EDITION

The MEN of Valor Magazine THE MAN, THE MINISTRY, THE MOMENTUM

8 DIMENSIONS OF WELLNESS-IN PURSUIT OF BALANCED LIVING

CHRONICLES OF A PUBLIC SCHOOL TEACHER

TERRENCE HUTCHINSON YOUR CORPORATE WELLNESS COACH

TIPS FOR WORK-LIFE BALANCE MISCONCEPTIONS OF MANHOOD ONE MAN’S STORY OF OVERCOMING THE DYSFUNCTION

MEN of Valor | 1

MISCONCEPTIOA Moment in

MEN of Valor | 2

INSIDE THIS ISSUE

Maintaining a Healthy Work Life Balance- Terrance Hutchinson

21

7 Health Issue for Men Over 40 Rebirth

25

Becoming a Healthy Body, Mind & Spirit-Rebirth

28

Chronicles of a Teacher L. Michael Jackson

31

His Church, His People His Purpose Bishop Willie Houston

34

Fredrick Douglas by Paul Laurence Dunbar

37

7

In Pursuit of Balanced Living

by Rev. Kevin Nesmith

39

Moment in Worship Rebirth Empowerment Ministries

8

Marriage & Family Parenting 101 from Rebirth

43

Greetings from the Editor Our Note to You

9

The Misconception of Manhood Robert Bankston

49

Nana’s Girls Foundation Mission

10 53

11

The Man, The Ministry, The Momentum Arthur Tigney

60

14

Interview with DJ H Vidal Rebirth

64

18

The Road to Recovery DJ H Vidal

Nana’s Girls Foundation Board

of Directors Men Ought to Always Pray Rebirth Empowerment Ministries Interview with Terrence Hutchinson

By Rebirth

MEN of Valor | 3

Welcome to His Inspired Music Ministry, LLC. We are an independent record company (IRC), whose mission is to provide full musical services to gospel music artists in the local area. We are located in Effingham and Pamplico, South Carolina. HIMM, LLC aims to promote the gospel through song-with its powerful message of inspiration, ministry, and God. It is our mission to foster new leaders of worship-to be ministers and minstrels of music. Our services include: Music consultation * Music Ministry Clinics and Workshops * Artist and Repertoire services Musical composition and arranging * Instrumentation and Orchestration * Production and Recording * Editing * Mixing/Mastering * Copyrighting of original works * Publishing * Musical Merchandising* His Inspired Music Ministry, LLC is always looking for new artists who share the same passion as we do-giving God the highest praise through your gifts of music. We want to hear from you. Please don't hesitate to contact us with your interests. God Bless!! HIMM

L. Michael Jackson has been involved in music for more than 28 years as a performer, educator, composer, and arranger. Coming from a long list of musical family members, Mr. Jackson has worked in numerous settings such as the school, church, and community as a musician and has played with and performed with many other talented artist and groups-from jazz to gospel along the east coast. He now currently works as a music educator in the public-school system, a private music instructor for various instruments, and a local church minister of music. Mr. Jackson is glad to give up his time to work with others in their gifts that God has given them.

"It is my passion and ministry to help others with their God-given talent, to bring it out and to make good use of it." Michael now resides in Effingham, SC with his beautiful and talented wife, April and son LJ, II. To God be the glory!

Job duties: Music consultation and management, Music arrangement and composition, Music instrumentation

Douglas Walker Studio Engineer Manager Editor/Engineer/Mixer/Master Douglas Walker is an audio engineer with a heart for God and for the artists he works with. His love for music surfaced at an early age, when he built his own speakers for an old record player he was given. He started playing bass in High School but put it down for over 20 years after graduating. He renewed his active playing after joining his wife’s church and volunteered to play bass. After several years of playing he moved on to doing live sound and recording. Today Douglas records local gospel artist who truly have a love for the Lord and a love to serve him through music ministry.

MEN of Valor | 4

Certified Fitness & Nutrition Specialist Terrence Hutchinson Will help you change your life by changing what you eat with his new book

Get your copy Today!!!

Visit Terrence on the web at BestLifestyleFitnessandNutrition.com

Or check out The Best Lifetyle Fitness and Nutrition Show on www.108praiseradio.com Mondays from 6pm-7pm

MEN of Valor | 5

MEN of Valor | 6

A MOMENT IN WORSHIP from Psalm 40: 1-11 With REBIRTH 1 I waited patiently for the LORD; he turned to me and heard my cry.

7 Then I said, “Here I am, I have come—it is written about me in the scroll.

2 He lifted me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and mire; he set my feet on a rock and gave me a firm place to stand.

8 I desire to do your will, my God; your law is within my heart.”

3 He put a new song in my mouth, a hymn of praise to our God. Many will see and fear the LORD and put their trust in him.

4 Blessed is the one who trusts in the LORD, who does not look to the proud, to those who turn aside to false gods.

5 Many, LORD my God, are the wonders you have done, the things you planned for us. None can compare with you; were I to speak and tell of your deeds, they would be too many to declare.

9 I proclaim your saving acts in the great assembly; I do not seal my lips, LORD, as you know.

10 I do not hide your righteousness in my heart; I speak of your faithfulness and your saving helps. I do not conceal your love and your faithfulness from the great assembly.

11 Do not withhold your mercy from me, LORD; may your love and faithfulness always protect me.

6 Sacrifice and offering you did not desire — but my ears you have opened — but offerings and sin offerings, you did not require.

MEN of Valor | 7

GREETINGS From the Desk of the Editor Grace and Peace to you all in the name of the Lord Jesus the Christ. It is a pleasure to greet and introduce to you Rebirth, Men’s Edition: The MEN of Valor Magazine a publication designed to salute and celebrate African-American Men Worldwide.

Considering recent national headlines and events, we here at Rebirth have taken a moment to highlight African-American men, that are successful in love, in life, in career, in the church and other industries; while ministering to the areas of the greatest challenge for me.

Overcoming addictions, turning 21 and becoming an adult, fatherhood, spirituality, sexuality, and more.

What does It mean to be a man of valor? Valor means great courage in the face of danger, usually in battle. As a reward, the American government gives these men a special metal for their acts of valor.

We talk more about this in the self-

titled article MEN of Valor. This special double feature is filled with stimulating articles, captivating stories, and invigorating columns such as interviews with two prominent men in their industries; read about them in Redefining Success Parts I & II; Learn about the wellness and tips in How to Maintain a Healthy Work-life Balance; while uncovering the 8 Dimensions of Wellness; discover one man’s truth of manhood in Misconceptions of Manhood; uncover the struggles and challenges of the rise to success, the spiral downward and the rebound in The Road to Recovery & Redefining Success; understand what a typical day is like in the life of a teacher in the public school sector working with African-

American boys in Chronicles of A Teacher; the MEN of Valor edition is sure to spark your faith as we continue with Men Ought to Always Pray and Faith Building Tips for Everyday Living to help you stay focused on the promises of God for daily living Our goal here at Rebirth, with this Men’s edition, is to encourage, empower, endue, equip, and enfranchize with tools and resources to better serve their families, their communities, their churches, their careers, and themselves; and reach out to help those in need of a Savior. Join us at the altar as we salute the MEN of Valor. This season’s theme The Misconception of Manhood.

MEN of Valor | 8

Hello Gentlemen, OUR NOTE TO YOU‌ It is our sincere prayer that this publication will serve to provide you with information, motivation, and lead to spiritual transformation. Here at Rebirth we endeavor to not only bring you a publication, but an experience.

WE pray that you will turn to Rebirth as an investment in your complete and total transformation We will strive to provide you with responsible and timely information and articles that will both glorify God and edify men unto change. This annual edition is created as a tool to celebrate African-American Men and aid them through their transformational process.

We would like to take this opportunity to thank you, our faithful readers and subscribers for your continued support and prayers. WE pray that the articles and insights in this publication are a blessing to you and look forward to MEN of Valor | 9 seeing you in the next edition.

NANAS GIRLS FOUNDATION, INC. The nonprofit, Nana's Girl Foundation (NGF), was formed for the primary purpose of aiding and assisting women in the reinvention of themselves, spiritual development, re-education, through life coaching and counseling, NGF will offer its clients an opportunity to volunteer with the foundation through our various programs and community events.

These ladies will receive life skills training, assistance with continuing education, job readiness and search. NGF, Inc. cater to women of all ages. They are required to complete a 6-12 month training program, using the curriculum designed by Dr. Vanessa Williams-Cook, which though designed for all women; caters to the need of each individual person. Upon completion of their individualized training program, each participant will receive a certificate of completion, and assistance with job placement; to include the possibility of working with the foundation in some capacity.

In 2020 NGF, Inc., will open, The Annie Ruth DeLaney Home for Young Women, which will serve women ages 13-40, and provide them with a place of safety, a haven, and home for them if needed. Although not required to live in the home, client will be expected to complete their training program through the home-based program, structure, discipline, and special offerings from the foundation. And 2021 we will open the Genesis Healing for both men and women.

MEN of Valor | 10

NANAS GIRLS FOUNDATION, INC. Founder & Executive Director: Dr. Vanessa Williams-Cook Board of Directors & Constituents: President: Kisha J. McRae Vice President: LaKesha Gaines Director of Organizational Structure: Jean Toney Educational Coordinator: Tanya Bankston Members Coordinator: Aly Johnson Global Market Liaison: Anita Duah Prempeh Hospitality Coordinator: Sadiemae Deas

MEN of Valor | 11

MEN of Valor | 12

MEN of Valor | 13

MEN OUGHT TO ALWAYS PRAY Happy Father’s Day to fathers

worldwide. Fatherhood is a precious gift from God our Father.

It is the most rewarding experience a man can have. It is also the most challenging position a man can be in. Many more time than not we find ourselves as parents trying to sometimes figure out what is the best thing for our children. We don’t always have the answers.

Of all the topics we could discuss, for this Father’s Day we’ve chosen discipline.

However, the best advice given to man pertaining to the rearing and disciplining of children can be found in the book of Proverbs. In Proverbs 22:6 “Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it. We have spent countless hours attempting to dissect this Scripture. When simply, we are

to train up our children in the way of the Lord, in the Word of God, in the Faith of the church; giving them moral standards to live by. Sure, it is hard sometimes when facing the many challenges that come our way. Notice however, the wisest man to ever live on earth instructed us to ‘train up’ not ‘shelter from’. No, I’m not suggesting overexposure of our children to the things of this world but training them up to make sound choices when faced with the things of this world. Here are a few other Scriptures penned by King Solomon pertaining to children: Proverbs 20:11 “Even a child is known by his doings, whether his work be pure, and whether it be right.”

Proverbs 22:15 “Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child; but the rod of correction shall drive it far from him.”

Proverbs 23:13 “Do not without discipline from a child, if you punish them with the rod, they will not die.”

Proverbs 29:15 “The rod and reproof give wisdom: but a child left to himself bringeth his mother shame.”

Nowhere in Scripture is child abuse spoken of. The author simply instructs to provide discipline and correction when rearing our children. Discipline is a touchy subject among parents. To spank or not to spank, that is the question.

Where does physical discipline begin and where does it end.

As a parent sometimes, we try to avoid corporal punishment.

MEN of Valor | 14

However, when viewed by Scripture, and understood based on these same Scriptures we come to realize that there is a definite place for corporal punishment. When defined the word discipline refers to training expected to produce a specific character, pattern or behavior. When we are submitted to a training, teaching, practice, or discipline a controlled behavior is the

mature Christians. Without the Scriptures we would be left to our own thinking, our own rationalization of right and wrong. This goes back to the fall of man in the Garden of Eden. Therefore, our children too if left to themselves have proven to become selfdestructive. It is up to us to make sure that our children don’t go astray.

arrested in the garden of Gethsemane. He needed some support, but His disciples were falling asleep.

Jesus made an important statement – that our spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak.

In other words, the inner man within us really wants to do the right thing but our flesh (in this case the body and mind) is not letting us. Jesus was

Psalms 55:16 As for me, I will call upon God; and the LORD shall save me. Evening, and morning, and at noon, will I pray, and cry aloud: and he shall hear my voice.

result. This holds true in the workplace, in the schools, in society, in the church and in our homes. Living a disciplined lifestyle, is living to the fullest as a freed people. Our children should also be partakers of this discipline. Keeping our children under subjection like keeping our flesh under subjection is vital to our spiritual growth.

The Holy Scriptures provide us with the necessary discipline to growth in faith, and to become

“…men always ought to pray and not lose heart…” – Luke 18:1 In His greatest hour of need, Jesus said to His disciples, “Watch and pray, lest you enter into temptation. The spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak.” Matthew 26:41.

highlighting the fact that prayer was necessary for his disciples to keep their spirits in control over their bodies. That leads us to an important question. What is prayer? I like one of Myles Monroe’s definitions,

This was the point before Jesus was to be betrayed and MEN of Valor | 15

“Prayer is “… man exercising his legal authority on earth to invoke heaven’s influence on the planet.”

This definition may seem a little strange to some but actually when God created the world and said ‘…let them have dominion…’ Gen 1:26, He actually gave you and me the right and authority to rule over the earth. That includes everything from the sea and land to the animals. God was in effect saying, ‘you take care of the earth and I’ll interfere when you call on me!’ Even throughout the Bible we see a pattern that whenever

mankind cried out to God from his heart, God intervened from heaven. Prayer is important because it is how we remain in constant connection with the Father. The part of us that is spirit is literally a piece of God. So we cannot properly function without a connection to its original source. As a light bulb has no glow without electricity, so our lives lack power without a connection to God’s Spirit. And prayer isn’t just about power, it’s the channel that keeps us in the love of God (see Jude 20-21), it keeps us in the will of God (see Col 4:12) and blesses and protects those around us.

E.M. Bounds said of prayer, “He who learns well the trade of praying masters the secret of the Christian art; and he becomes a skilled workman in God’s workshop, one who does not need to be ashamed, a worker together with his Lord and Master.” Prayer is a must. God’s full plan and provision for our lives only begins to unfold in the pathways of prayer. www.thetotalman.com

“To be a Christian without prayer is no more possible than to be alive without breathing." Martin Luther King Jr.

MEN of Valor | 16

MEN of Valor | 17

INTERVIEW WITH TERRENCE HUTCHINSON WELLNESS COACH

What does it mean to you to have been selected for the MEN OF Valor Magazine?

It’s a great honor! With extreme gratitude I’m elated to connect with your platform to reach and inspire others.

How do you define success?

I define success as having all areas of your life close to complete harmony. Health, emotions, spirit, finances, environment, and family.

Do you find it difficult to balance work and family?

At times it can get challenging, but for growth that balancing period is needed to refocus on maintaining wellness.

What do you see as one of the reasons for absentee fathers in the black community, or is the news we see and hear misleading about our fathers?

There is the lack of education, or depression. Pride, anger, and self-medicating are also at the forefront of the problems that men face, often leading to being absent even while living at home.

What are some of the leading reasons for men to seek out a coach?

Just to name a few; weight loss or gain. Controlling stress levels for better health, and greater nutritional practices for a holistic approach to lifestyle enhancement strategies In what way is mentoring or coaching men different from mentoring women?

Men just have different needs and concerns than women.

There are less things men must adapt to; hormonal, emotionally, however men still suffer in silence more than woman.

What influenced you to become a life coach/mentor and when?

I began in 2010. I was just selfmotivated towards selfdevelopment and reinvention.

What was your home life like as a child?

My childhood was very good.

Quit loving; I was a spoiled child a little...

What is the greatest fear you've encountered as a man?

My greatest fear as a man, was being the last one to see my father take his last breath.

What drives or motivates you toward success?

MEN of Valor | 18

Just to prove to myself over again that I can do whatever I want; that drives me to succeed.

Terrance Hutchinson is the owner of Best Lifestyle Fitness and Nutrition. He has been providing health and fitness instruction for the last 9 years throughout the Georgia, Carolinas, Florida, and New York AND L.A. areas. He also has online fitness programs with clients in Germany and Australia.

Terrance is a Certified Fitness & Nutrition Specialist, Certified Corporate Consultant, Certified Exercise Therapist, and The Author of the books, 150 Recipes to Transform Your Body and 25 Irresistible Desserts That You Can Indulge Cook Books. His third book, “How I Survived TYPE 2 Diabetes” is in the making. Terrance is the Host of HIS NEW show, The Total Wellness Show with Terrance on 108PRAISE RADIO, and a Motivational Speaker as well.

Terrance is the contributing health and wellness writer for ELEV8 MAGAZINE, KONTROL MAGAZINE, BOLD AGELESS BEAUTY MAGAZINE, and MY TIME MAGAZINE and IMPACT MAGAZINE. He also has an impactful blog at WWW.Corporate49.Wordpress.com.

He’s been nominated for the 2017 RICE AWARDS for Health and Wellness, Nominated for ATLANTA HOTTEST Author, Fitness Model, and Online Radio Host. Nominated for Best Self Magazine’s BEST PERSONAL TRAINER IN Atlanta for 2017. Cover Model for BOLD AGELESS BEAUTY MAGAZINE’S Fall Issue.

Nominated for BONHEUR MAGAZINE’S TOP 10 BATCHELOR IN ATLANTA FOR 2017.

Terrance’s company is currently in partnership negotiations with local Physical Therapist, Massage Therapist, and Chiropractors to help bring their patients for a more well- rounded recovery experience.

He has coached dozens of people in their homes, Online, fitness centers, corporate offices, boot camps, nutritional guidance seminars, HIIT circuits, Power Training, and in-home Personal Chef Demonstrations into successfully leading others into a healthier lifestyle.

Furthermore, Terrance has lead in- services, consultations and diabetic classes to local hospitals,

TERRENCE HUTCHINSON Corporate Wellness programs around the Atlanta area on exercise fundamentals and proper nutrition for a healthier lifestyle makeover.

He is an active advocate for promoting disease prevention, promoting proper nutrition, purposeful physical exercising, and corporate wellness strategies in the workplace.

He is always continuing his education and putting into practice the newest leading-edge techniques to ensure true results! Terrance's goal is to shape and influence the health and fitness attitudes of those around him and Best Lifestyle Fitness and Nutrition to make the dream of optimal health a reality.

Terrance understands how it is to maintain a busy work schedule while balancing proper nutrition and purposeful exercise. Whether it's to lose or gain weight, increase strength, continue post rehabilitation after prescriptive medical care or creating customized programs for clients, Terrance has expertise in all areas of the fitness and wellness industry.

He truly believes that with education, diligence, dedication, commitment, and the motivational coaching, everyone can live the dream of achieving the body and health of their dreams.

MEN of Valor | 19

MEN of Valor | 20

Hоw tо Mаіntаіn a Hеаlthу Wоrk-Lіfе Balance

By Terrence Hutchinson We аrе living іn a digital аgе and аrе аlwауѕ соnnесtеd tо оur соmрutеrѕ, tаblеtѕ, and ѕmаrtрhоnеѕ. Juѕt a few dесаdеѕ аgо, whеn the wоrkdау ended аt 5 PM, workers packed uр аnd turnеd thеіr minds off for the evening.

However, bесаuѕе of оur соnѕtаnt соnnесtіоn through tесhnоlоgу, сlіеnt emails, рrороѕаlѕ, аnd projects hаvе bесоmе a раrt оf the tіmе ѕреnt оutѕіdе оf the оffісе.

These extra hours аnd іnаbіlіtу to step аwау from work hаvе саuѕеd mаnу іndіvіduаlѕ to саll fоr a work-life bаlаnсе, whісh рlасеѕ еmрhаѕіѕ оn jugglіng work аnd mаіntаіnіng a personal life wіth fаmіlу and friends оutѕіdе оf thе оffісе.

ѕhоuld ѕреnd аt least fіftееn minutes оn themselves ѕtаndіng before thе mіrrоr, аnd аѕѕеѕѕ whаt might bе gоіng wrоng wіth their bоdіеѕ.

Indісаtіоnѕ of рrоblеmѕ often come uр оn thе ѕkіn first if thеrе'ѕ ѕоmеthіng wrоng іnѕіdе. Fоr іnѕtаnсе, thе effects of jaundice саn еаѕіlу be spotted, аnd indications bеgіn tо соmе up, ѕuсh as yellow еуеѕ аnd раlе соlоr.

Thеу ѕау knоwіng your priorities, hаvіng gооd time management, and hаvіng a

ѕtrоng drive tо reach all оf уоur gоаlѕ аrе all thе things that уоu ѕhоuld dо tо achieve wоrk-lіfе bаlаnсе. Yеѕ, thеѕе аrе аll іmроrtаnt іn hаvіng a wellbalanced lіfе. But аѕіdе frоm these common оr uѕuаl tірѕ, thеrе аrе mоrе thіngѕ that you саn do to аvоіd еxреrіеnсіng jоb burnout аnd hаvе an extra time tо dо оthеr activities.

Here are a few tірѕ fоr mаіntаіnіng a healthy work-life balance: Rеfосuѕ Your Prіоrіtіеѕ

Thеrе аrе mаnу people оut thеrе whо wish to kеер themselves hеаlthу and fit, but not all оf them аrе аblе аnd willing to take саrе of thеmѕеlvеѕ. Many people rеmаіn caught up іn thеіr dаіlу соmmіtmеntѕ аnd wоrkіng activities, whісh lеаvеѕ lіttlе tіmе fоr thеm to ѕреnd оn themselves and thеіr physical health.

However, it is ѕuggеѕtеd thаt еvеrу реrѕоn MEN of Valor | 21

Each оf uѕ hаѕ оur priorities. In the wоrkрlасе, ѕоmе реорlе focus оn gеttіng a lоt оf benefits from dоіng a jоb wеll.

Thеіr main рrіоrіtу іѕ tо еаrn mоnеу, more mоnеу, аnd gеt a рrоmоtіоn. If thіѕ is thе mаіn rеаѕоn whу уоu are ѕреndіng mоѕt of your time іn thе оffісе or уоur buѕіnеѕѕ, thеn you аrе leading into a wrong path. No mаttеr how hаrd уоu wоrk or hоw much tіmе уоu іnvеѕt іn your jоb or career, іf your intеntіоn оr purpose іѕ not good, іt will еvеntuаllу lead tо fаіlurе аnd jоb burnout.

Mаkе Yоur Career Yоur Frіеnd Yоu chose tо vеnturе іntо thе buѕіnеѕѕ оr fіеld уоu’rе іn nоw bесаuѕе іt’ѕ where your ѕkіllѕ fіt, and уоu love to dо іt, rіght?

Thіѕ may sound lіkе аn old cliché, but it’s one thing еvеrуоnе should аlwауѕ rеmеmbеr: dоіng what уоu love wіll nеvеr fееl lіkе wоrk.

The rеаѕоn mаnу employees оr workers hаtе thеіr jоbѕ іѕ thаt thеу trеаt іt аѕ thеіr еnеmу.

They don’t еnjоу doing іt, аnd thеу complain еvеrу tіmе thіngѕ аrеn’t the gоіng thеіr way. If уоu dоn’t like this еxhаuѕtіng аnd ѕtrеѕѕful lіfеѕtуlе, then уоu should trеаt уоur jоb аѕ уоur friend. Sееk out tаѕkѕ аnd dіѕсоvеr new things. Enjоу еvеrуthіng about

MEN of Valor | 22

іt bесаuѕе if you dо, уоu never feel tіrеd аnd ѕtrеѕѕ.

Don’t Lеt Wоrk Dісtаtе Your Level Of Cоmmіtmеnt Some реорlе depend on thеіr lеvеl оf commitment tо thе аmоunt of wоrk thаt they’ve ассоmрlіѕhеd. Thіѕ ѕhоuld nоt bе thе саѕе.

As a professional, уоu muѕt lеаrn tо ѕеt some bоundаrіеѕ bеtwееn work аnd social lіfе. Yоur jоb іѕ nоt forever, but your rеlаtіоnѕhірѕ wіth реорlе аnd thіngѕ wіll lаѕt a lіfеtіmе.

Dоn’t gіvе аll оf your time tо your clients оr сuѕtоmеrѕ. Your fаmіlу and friends also dеѕеrvе аt lеаѕt ѕоmе оf уоur precious tіmе.

Rеѕресt Your “Mе” Time Rеѕресt уоur рrіvаtе time in thе same wау уоu respect уоur сlіеntѕ or co-workers time. If уоu ѕеt a time for уоurѕеlf оr уоur fаmіlу, trу your bеѕt nоt tо tаkе

wіll homework.

Gіvе уоurѕеlf еnоugh time to rest and sleep. Yоu need іt, to bесоmе mоrе productive аnd focus оn thіngѕ thаt уоu dо.

Embrace thе оff buttоn Prеttу muсh every ріесе оf tесhnоlоgу has аn off ѕwіtсh, so uѕе іt. It іѕ nоt еаѕу, аnd fоr mаnу реорlе, thіѕ іѕ thе hаrdеѕt thing tо do. Tо gеt ѕtаrtеd, dо іt іn рhаѕеѕ. Dоn’t brіng your cell рhоnе tо the dіnnеr table.

Whеn уоu аrе on vасаtіоn, bе on vасаtіоn. Dоn’t brіng уоur tablet tо the bеасh. Onсе уоu have dоnе іt a few times, it іѕ easier tо push thе bоundаrіеѕ.

When уоu unplug аnd ѕtер bасk, уоu wіll start tо experience оnе оf lіfе’ѕ grеаtеѕt trеаѕurеѕ – реrѕресtіvе. Yоu will thіnk аbоut problems уоu are wrestling with grеаtеr сlаrіtу.

You аllоw уоurѕеlf thе frееdоm tо bе mоrе аnаlуtісаl аnd lеѕѕ еmоtіоnаl when уоu ѕtер аwау аnd thіnk vѕ. just diving іn аnd responding аt the mоmеnt.

Pасе Yourself Tо hаvе a lоng, hеаlthу, productive, and happy life аnd саrееr, уоu nееd tо undеrѕtаnd thе value of расе. Thеrе are tіmеѕ whеn you need to thrоttlе uр, аnd thеrе аrе times when уоu саn thrоttlе dоwn.

Sеlfаwаrеnеѕѕ іѕ сruсіаl.

Dоіng so will hеlр уоu еnjоу the jоurnеу as muсh аѕ the dеѕtіnаtіоn.

Inсоrроrаtе Phуѕісаl Aсtіvіtу Intо Yоur Rоutіnе Inсоrроrаtіng рhуѕісаl activity іntо your routine іѕ аn integral раrt оf maintaining a wоrklіfе bаlаnсе. Physical асtіvіtу nоt оnlу hеlрѕ to rеfrеѕh bоth

уоur mind аnd body but аlѕо provides mеntаl сlаrіtу durіng a time оf stress at work. In addition tо this, іt keeps your body іn optimal рhуѕісаl ѕhаре, whісh makes уоu feel more рrоduсtіvе аnd hеаlthу. Summеr іѕ thе реrfесt tіmе to еmрhаѕіzе physical activity.

If уоur schedule does nоt аllоw fоr going to thе gym bеfоrе оr аftеr wоrk соnѕіdеr making thіѕ a part оf уоur workday. Stер аwау frоm уоur desk and take a wаlk wіth a co-worker tо gаіn a new perspective аnd еxеrсіѕе уоur muѕсlеѕ.

Separating from Elесtrоnіс Dеvісеѕ Another important аѕресt оf mаіntаіnіng a wоrk-lіfе bаlаnсе is ѕераrаtіng from electronic dеvісеѕ durіng evenings and weekends. If you fееl thе nееd tо соmрlеtе еxtrа wоrk or rеѕроnd tо еmаіlѕ MEN of Valor | 23

еvеntuаllу cause уоu to burn оut.

outside оf thе оffісе dеѕіgnаtе a ѕресіfіс time fоr thеѕе rеѕроnѕеѕ.

Fоr example, аllоw уоurѕеlf tо соmрlеtе wоrk in thе еvеnіngѕ from 6-8 аnd thеn сlоѕе your lарtор. Or,

rеѕроnd tо emails Sаturdау morning аnd thеn take Sunday off. Fіnd whаt wоrkѕ bеѕt for уоu аnd уоur ѕсhеdulе and make a point tо separate frоm еlесtrоnіс dеvісеѕ аnd сlеаr

your mіnd. While spending time wоrkіng оutѕіdе оf thе tурісаl 9-5 hаѕ bесоmе normal іn оur сurrеnt wоrkfоrсе, wоrkіng аll dау every dау is nоt efficient аnd will

Fіnаllу, it іѕ hіghlу rесоmmеndеd that you tаkе аn appointment аnd meet uр wіth a dосtоr аt lеаѕt оnсе a month to еnѕurе рrореr fіtnеѕѕ аnd hеаlth. A dосtоr'ѕ арроіntmеnt wоuld not rеԛuіrе muсh mоnеу, and approximately іf уоu аrе a rеаdеr, I аm ѕurе уоu wоuld be able tо afford аn арроіntmеnt wіth a doctor оnсе a mоnth.

Thе benefits оf thіѕ аrе unlіmіtеd; a dосtоr саn іnѕtruсt уоu wіth аll thаt уоu nееd tо cover up іn оrdеr tо саtеr the needs оf уоur bоdу. A dосtоr саn аlѕо guide you thrоugh fіtnеѕѕ орtіоnѕ аnd tell уоu if уоu аrе going оvеrwеіght or nоt.

Here's to your health, Terrance Hutchinson Certified Corporate Wellness Coach & Certified Fitness and Nutrition Specialist

MEN of Valor | 24

7 HEALTH ISSUES FOR MEN OVER 40 From REBIRTH

As a man, are you concerned about your health? If you’re like most modern males, then you’re probably not as proactive about it as you should be. On average, women see doctors more than a third as much as guys do, which can lead to problems in the long term. Unfortunately, most men don’t worry about their health until it’s too late. Going to the doctor seems like an unnecessary luxury, especially if you feel fine. However, there could be problems brewing that only get worse with age, which is what spells trouble.

So, with that in mind, we wanted to go over the top five health issues that men suffer from the most.

Hopefully, this will inspire to you see your doctor more regularly. Catching these problems before they take over significantly improves your chances of beating them altogether. Don’t be stubborn, be smart.

#1. Hypoandrogenism Hypoandrogenism, androgen deficiency or low testosterone – however you want to refer to it, this condition is rather common among the aging male. According to Medscape, at least 39% of men aged 45 and older have clinically low levels of this primary sex and anabolic hormone. This condition can cause a man to feel weak, depressed and drain their sex drive.

It also affects their brain and heart health negatively. #2. Heart Disease This is a problem that plagues more Americans than anything else, but men generally have it worse. According to the American Heart Association, about a third of males have some form of heart disease. When you break it down to a one-in-three chance, it makes it much more personal. Hypertension and stroke are common for men with heart problems, even young males who are otherwise healthy. #3 Alcohol/Substance Abuse Cracking a cold one with the boys could be harming your body. Although you want to be able to drink like a man, too much can lead to a host of problems, including the heart disease. Overall, males suffer from substance abuse much more than women and are less likely to treat things like addiction or withdrawal. #4 Diabetes Once again, this is a problem that’s becoming more widespread among both men and women, but since men are less likely to see a doctor, they can suffer more as a result. Diabetes itself is a pain to deal with, but it can lead to other problems, like erectile dysfunction, low testosterone, and depression.

#5. Abdominal Obesity

While men are likely to be active in their twenties and even when they are in their thirties, a lot of men are less physically active when they reach 40. This is mostly because it becomes more difficult to be active all the time due to the naturally degrade of certain health factors – such as muscle strength and muscle mass. Not being physically active can contribute to obesity, depression, cardiovascular disease and more. Even when muscle strength is not what it used to be, including an exercise routine should still

be an important part of a man’s life after 40 to reduce* these risks.

Fatherhood

6. Accidental Injury Did you know that injuries are the third leading cause of death for men in the U.S.? Only heart disease and cancer are bigger killers. Workplace accidents can be a significant factor, so be sure that you’re wearing the proper safety equipment. Also, don’t start a project that could result in injury without doing some research first - it could save your life. #7. Depression/Suicide How often do you discuss your thoughts and feelings? Does it feel weird to talk about it right now? If you’re like most guys, you tend to keep your emotional pain bottled up rather than sharing it with friends and family. Unfortunately, this has the side effect of causing depression, which can lead to suicidal thoughts. Although women usually attempt suicide more often, men are much more successful when they do.

9 Leading Causes of Death Among AfricanAmerican Men (2013) 1. Heart disease (24% of total deaths) 1. Cancer (22.4%) 2. Unintentional injuries (5.8%) 3. Stroke (4.7%) 4. Homicide (4.5%)

The man who is a Foundation for his children He is the meaning Of strength, He is Provider The man who believes In acting upon dreams He believes Life Is a journey.

He is a Hero

5. Diabetes (4.1%) 6. Chronic lower respiratory diseases (3.3%) 7. Kidney disease (2.6%) 8. Septicemia (1.9%)

Author unknown

9. Influenza and pneumonia (1.7%)

MEN of Valor | 27

Becoming Healthy Body, Mind & Spirit As workers in the Kingdom, maintaining a healthy balance between the strength of our minds, bodies, and spirits is of the utmost importance. All too often we focus on one area while another area remains unnurtured, underfed, and underdeveloped.

We must understand that we must have a healthy body and strong mind, and a strong spirit to do the work of the Lord. Often, we wonder why we find ourselves down for the count and battling different illnesses or simply exhausted and dealing with pain or fatigue. One of the main reasons is that we are out of shape and not fit for the fight. We are out of shape physically, worn out mentally, and emotionally we are completely off balanced. This is not the will of God for our lives as believers. We don’t get enough physical activity. While we may maintain a healthy spiritual diet, we lack emotional or mental stimulation.

The best way for us to achieve optimal health in all aspects of our lives and to become a healthy mind, body, and spirit, is to begin a program of exercise in each of these areas. In this program we will exercise our minds, bodies and spirits daily by doing some very simple and practical things as outlined here. Keep in mind no program or routine is full-proof in and of itself. We must make a concerted effort to make the necessary changes to accomplish goals and become successful in this new season. The following steps are merely suggestions to get you

By Rebirth

started.

Every individual must follow a program as designed specifically for them.

Exercise our minds daily by reading God’s Word. Also, helpful is other Christian materials, and books. Reading stimulates the mind. Reading the Word of God be it the Bible or other Christian literature brings about renewing of the mind, a washing away and reprogramming of the mind.

Watch less TV. Turn on some inspiring music that will help to generate positive energies. Or listen to selfimprovement/empowerment messages or the Bible on Cd or on your phones. Be selective in your choices because you are feeding your spirit.

Exercise the body by introducing physical activity daily. Such as walking before or after work, taking the stairs instead of the elevator, or practicing yoga. Exercising during lunch instead of eating twice a week could be extremely beneficial to relieving the body of stress hormones that come from the work environment. Whatever you do, GET

MOVING JESUS!!

meditating and praying at least three times a day. The more you pray the more you will grow in spiritual strength.

Meet New People-developing relationships is crucial to becoming a healthy body, mind, and spirit.

After all, it is not a part of God’s design for us to be alone. He created us for fellowship with himself, but also for fellowship among ourselves. So, evaluate current relationships for toxicity, and growth. If there is toxicity and it cannot be repaired, rid yourself of that relationship. Relationships with others should foster growth and positive change in our lives.

Otherwise, we need new people to help bring about that growth.

Again, these are just a few suggestions. The important thing is to get ourselves in the gear and begin making strides in the right direction. Sure, learning new behaviors, can be uncomfortable at first. But the more we do them, the better we become at it, and the stronger we become because of it. If we begin here, we are sure to become a healthy

FOR

Exercising your spirit by MEN of Valor | 28

MEN of Valor | 29

MEN of Valor | 30

The Teacher, The Student and Public School

BY L. MICHAEL JACKSON 7:30 AM. As children pile off the bus and enter into the cafeteria, some walk directly into breakfast line, waiting to get a hot breakfast.

7:45 AM. Students are lined up and head to their classrooms. Many students are inattentive, too busy talking to notice what is going on around them. As they walk down the hallways, conversations still loom about distracting themselves and sometimes causing a raucous with passers-by and even disturbing the hallway classes that are already in progress. A teacher walks by and reminds them of hallway procedures causing some students to immediately silence their convos, while others “pshh” it off and continues to talk.

9:00 AM. While teachers are well into their lessons for the morning, Johnny John keeps turning around to his friends talking aloud interrupting class and gaining attention to not only himself but those whom he is

interacting. After told to stop by the teacher, Johnny John continues to finish his statement which results in the class laughing.

Being Misunderstood After being reprimanded again for the disruption by the teacher, Johnny John continues to back talk and show disrespect to the teacher. Of course, this does not end well as the teacher begins to write a referral. “JJ” shrugs his shoulders, shows contempt and indifference and proceeds to walk out the class against the wishes of the teacher.

“JJ continued” All the while, “JJ” is struggling with his own issues, but has no positive outlet to turn to. You know how sometimes you just have those days where the night before was terrible, but you hoped that when you awaken on the next day, things will be better, but sometimes they are not. Whatever the issues may be, we’ve all had them. However,

sometimes the ones we teach have even crazier issues more so than us adults. Although any student can have situations and issues, there is one group that seems to have a harder time coping and dealing with those issues as they stem in the educational system.

The Teacher As an African American male teacher in the public-school sector, I have learned, teaching is not just educating young minds, but it allows also the opportunity to mentor, inspire, and even father the fatherless. It has afforded me the opportunity to shape successful future leaders for not just society but teach young men to be family oriented, so they can become successful future fathers.

The Travesty African American boys are more and more facing the travesty of being fatherless boys and coping without male mentorship in the home and at school, as fewer men are interested in teaching or working in the school MEN of Valor | 31

The Teacher, The Student and Public School continued system. I remember doing my very first internship at a local school where I was partnered up with a 3rdgrade teacher and class. This teacher had a little trouble with classroom management skills and was struggling to curb the ill-behaviors of a young African American male.

The Child Speaks However, after class the teacher called up this young man and asked him why he was behaving in a negative manner. He shrugged his shoulders mumbling he didn’t know, but then he turned and looked at me and said “I wish you could be my daddy. I don’t have one.” This statement took us out of teacher mode and put us directly in mother and father mode. After we cleaned our faces up of the uncontrollable tears, we proceeded to sit down with the student and talk with him in a more parent-like, loving tone. It was this situation that made me realize that the epidemic is true. Some African American males are a product of situations that were beyond their control.

Behaviors & Attitudes Their behaviors and attitudes that stem from these are sometimes situations out of their control. There must be a different connection needed to reach these young African American males that only a few educators can tap into. However, this void can leave some African

American male students left to face the fears of becoming young African American men in a society where they must deal with stereotypes, prejudices, racial profiling unique to the combined gender and race – something that many men are educated on via life experiences but may be absent in the home or life of these young African American males. Without someone who looks like them teaching them how to handle this pressure, these children come to school with a pseudo hardened exterior to hide their internal vulnerability.

Burden of the Teacher As teachers it is up to all of us, particularly African American males, to break through the ill-behavioral mindset with or without the support of home. We must learn to wear the hat of many roles-mother, father, brothers, etc...and guide and shape these young males to become men that can be productive and not destructive in society.

Some students come from broken families with absent fathers that lead to negative mindsets of young African American males. It is therefore crucial we put forth the extra effort of not only educating these young minds, but also destroying the negative stereotypes that plague black men and young African American men.

Sadly, judgment of black males is harsh –especially behavior within society particularly by those who can’t relate to the struggles we face. Often these are the people children find themselves surrounded by at school. As minorities in this country it is easy to be disenfranchised by the majority.

Overcoming this begins with repositioning and changing the mindset of young African-American males self-empowerment, selfrealization, and self-awareness.

Knowing where these young men come from can help you help them define their destination. It is not an easy task, but not undertaking it may lead to future where an entire race of men is marginalized off the pages of society.

Working Together As an African American teacher, it is my goal to give every student a fighting chance at success. This is no feat that can be done alone. At this moment, I issue this clarion call for all African American men to take on the role of a teacher, mentor, brother, and FATHER to any young male you see headed in the wrong direction.

You don’t have to have any special training or pass a special test. You just must help a wayward young man make a right choice in life or do the right thing as Spike Lee would say.

Look into your communities, your churches, your local schools, your neighborhoods or even in your own families and make a difference in some African American male’s life today.

Judgment MEN of Valor | 32

As an African American teacher, it is my goal to give every student a fighting chance at success. This is no feat that can be done alone. At this moment, I issue this clarion call for all African American men to take on the role of a teacher, mentor, brother, and FATHER to any young male you see headed in the wrong direction. You don’t have to have any special training or pass a special test. You just have to help a wayward young man make a right choice in life or do the right thing as Spike Lee would say. Look into your communities, your churches, your local schools, your neighborhoods or even in your own families and make a difference in some African American male’s life today

•

• • • • •

We specialize in planning tours and vacation excursions as well as transportation to your dream vacations or various destinations. We provide safe, comfortable, and affordable travel for you and your group, no matter what it is.

We specialize in: • Art/Entertainment Excursions

• • • • • • • • •

Girls Night Out Excursions Wine and Dine Excursions Shopping Excursions Sporting Excursions Church Outings Family Reunions Fraternity and Sorority Getaways Corporate/Work Events History and Heritage Excursion Local/National Conventions Field Trips & Excursions Kid Trips & Excursions Amusement Park City Tours Senior Citizen’s Getaway • Wedding Parties • Cruise Port Drop-Off/Pick-Up Whatever your needs may be for travel, we have it all!

We also plan, personalize and customize trips and excursions for you and your group. You tell us what you want and we aim to make it happen!

MEN of Valor | 33

HIS CHURCH, HIS PEOPLE, HIS PURPOSE By: Bishop Willie Houston

My God covers me as I feed his church. His church, his people, his purpose. His church, his people, my purpose. The 5-fold ministry diet is fed to his people with the purpose of: Perfection, Ministry, And Edifying. -And he gave some, apostles; and some, prophets; and some, evangelists; and some, pastors and teachers; For the perfecting of the saints, for the work of the ministry, for the edifying of the body of Christ: (Ephesians 4:11-13 (KJV). His passion is what drives my compassion. It is a privilege to have the spirit of zeal. The ultimate strength of God's

passion can only be understood by him and used by those who are gifted with it.

There is not even a need to try to comprehend the depths of God's compassion. It extends way beyond him sending his only Begotten Son to die for us.

HIS PERFECTION His perfection is needed because there is no man upon this earth, that doeth good and sinneth not (Ecclesiastes 7:20 KJV). The spirit of perfection that we need in our soul is worked in the spirit of patience.

Patience is needed endure this journey, as it works to be perfect and entire, wanting nothing. God's love is perfected in us, when we love one another, He will dwell in us (1 John 4:12 KJV). God's perfect spirit is the only example of perfection, it proves to the flesh that He is God. Our perfect God sent his perfect Son to a defective world to save an imperfect people. My life in his perfected love, covers my sins.

His blood-drenched love drapes me as I cover my family with the cloak and shield made of the love that God has for his church. His MEN of Valor | 34

Ministry His ministry belongs to him but given to us as a gift. There is a magnitude of ministries yet to be named. Different examples of his ministries are: benevolence, discernment, outreach, and prayer.

MINISTRY Our life is a ministry all on its own, it is a genesis to many of the ministries that we are gifted in.

Giving no offense in anything, that the ministry be not blamed. But in all things approving ourselves as the ministers of God, in much patience, in afflictions, in necessities, in distresses. (2 Corinthians 6:3-4 KJV). His ministry was brought with a price, and we

are to honor him in all that we do.

We should understand that the uniqueness of each gift creates oneness in ministry that we are.

Ministry is experiencing the shift of God, in areas and realms that are needed for spiritual growth.

My Life in his ministry, covers the assignment I must minister to the souls of his people.

HIS EDIFICATION His edification is for the encouragement of expansion and strength. When in heaviness we can call on God to strengthen us according unto thy word (Psalm 119:28 KJV). The word of God is the best bread to draw power from. The benefit of edification is that it builds up, it will not tear

apart nor will it tear down.

Edification is food for the hungry and weary soul. We should follow things of peace and things that edify another (Romans 14:19 KJV).

The use of the gift of edification, requires believers to use words of life, peace, joy, hope and health.

We need the strength of God in each of our brothers and sisters. In life we encounter times when we as believers are torn down, yet, we must use the word of God to build others. It is in those times we can allow this gift of edification to edify from within. My Life with his edification builds his people as it builds me.

MEN of Valor | 35

MEN of Valor | 36

Frederick Douglass

by Paul Laurence Dunbar When it is finally ours, this freedom, this liberty, this beautiful and terrible thing, needful to man as air, usable as earth; when it belongs at last to all, when it is truly instinct, brain matter, diastole, systole, reflex action; when it is finally won; when it is more than the gaudy mumbo jumbo of politicians: this man, this Douglass, this former slave, this Negro beaten to his knees, exiled, visioning a world where none is lonely, none hunted, alien, this man, superb in love and logic, this man shall be remembered.

Oh, not with statues' rhetoric, not with legends and poems and wreaths of bronze alone, but with the lives grown out of his life, the lives fleshing his dream of the beautiful, needful thing.

MEN of Valor | 37

Me: How you doin’ this evening man?

My barber: Doing all right (sounding uncharacteristically flat) Me: Okay...

My barber: ….. well I got some news today about my health. I’ve got some stomach issues going on, nothing too serious. I just need to make some changes. You know you get older and you know it's time to stop eating bad and to start taking better care our yourself… you know…you got to make some changes. You just can’t keep doing like you used to.

Me: Yeah…you are right about that.

THE MAN BEHIND THE LENS Maurice Thompson is an editorial, portrait and music photographer residing in Atlanta, Georgia. As a former music producer, he's produced gold and platinum recording acts such as Coolio, E40, Montell Jordan, Portrait and Ahmad. As a natural creative, his love for photography as a form of expression became his ultimate path and career in 2017. His experience as a music producer and his unique art background made it obvious that he should pursue fashion, music and editorial shoots as his primary focus as a photographer. www.mauricethompsonphotography.com

MEN of Valor | 38

IN PURSUIT OF BALANCED LIVING

BY REV. KEVIN NESMITH As I’ve met and talked to various men, I’ve been hearing how challenging life events have been happening for some of us and it seems as if issue after issue and challenge after challenge present themselves, demanding our resilience. As I approach my fiftieth year, I can honestly say these past 15 years have presented significant changes/challenges in my life.

Me: How you doin’ this evening man?

My barber: Doing all right (sounding uncharacteristically flat) Me: Okay...

My barber: ….. well I got some news today about my health.

I’ve got some stomach issues going on, nothing too serious. I just need to make some changes. You know you get older and you know it's time to stop eating bad and to start taking better care our yourself… you know…you got to make some changes.

You just can’t keep doing like you used to.

Me: Yeah…you are right about that.

This exchange happened between my barber and me during my last visit. As we talked, our conversation recalled experiences that I've been hearing men share repeatedly. Among men who are in their mid-thirties and above, we are facing changes that demand adjustment to our new experiences. As we endure the new chapters in our lives, many of us need practical strategies that will allow us to stay on top of our issues instead of allowing our issues to overwhelm us.

Over the past few years, both of my parents, my last living grandparent (my maternal grandmother), one of my best friends, my wife's mother, and at least 5 of my high school classmates have passed away. My four beautiful and accomplished nieces who I saw growing up are now independent women who have started getting married and having children of their own. I’ve been able to go back to school twice and completed the paths I chose for personal and professional growth, but it was not easy. I now consistently wear reading glasses and my beard that has been “changing” since I was 30, has become silver through and through. (I refuse to ruin another shirt with brush-in or semi-permanent hair dye). Most alarmingly, what was once close to being a “six-pack” back in the day (I have never been severely lean enough to have a six-pack), has become a well pronounced “keg” of a stomach. These “changes” and others are making clear the fact, that time is moving on and it's moving fast. With life episodes like the ones I listed and adding dealing with adolescent (or God forbid) grown children who are off the beam, our personal health challenges, romance, finance, and other circumstances, we must manage the challenges and do so with long-term stability. I think that’s part of the reason why I web-surf and try to unwind often through internet access that lifts me up and enhances my thought life.

Being a YouTube fan, I often watch preachers, worship services, and conferences through that media platform.

Last year, I found a sermon by Bishop Joseph Walker, III, the Presiding Prelate of the Full Gospel Baptist Church.

MEN of Valor | 39

IN PURSUIT OF BALANCED LIVING In the Official Message of the 24th Full Gospel Baptist Church Fellowship’s International Conference, Bishop Walker preached a sermon entitled, “The Method, To the Madness of Your Miracle,” from Acts 16:19-25. In that sermon, he proposed to the body of believers that “the church” must embrace the value of being balanced Christians. He shared how people of faith need to develop balanced and practical efforts to realize total wellness. Additionally, he issued the illustration of the kind of disparities we face and how Christians are robbed of their “victory” due to living lives that are out of balance. I know he was telling the truth. Bishop Walker made some striking points that demand our consideration. Many Christians specifically are living lives out of balance. The consequences plague our community and show us how much we are suffering even as we practice our faith in an all-powerful God. Perhaps no issue of dichotomy is more apparent in the church as the spiritual devotion of our lives that does not translate to physical wellness. Few issues challenge Christians more than the issue of obesity in the Christian Church.

In his sermon, Bishop Walker cited how many believers may not drink or smoke legal or illegal substances, but that our addiction to food is no less deadly than legal and illegal substance abuse. It's a well-established reality in our communities that many people are dying due to poor health because of unhealthy food consumption and lack of physical activity. Consider these statistics from the report Obesity and AfricanAmericans from the Department of Health and Human Services: -Approximately 47.8 percent of African Americans are obese (including 37.1 percent of men and 56.6 percent of women) compared with 32.6 percent of Whites (including 32.4 percent of men and 32.8 percent of women) -More than 80 percent of people with type 2 diabetes are overweight. African American adults are twice as likely as White adults to have been diagnosed with diabetes by a physician.

-The rates of deaths from heart disease and stroke are almost twice as high among African Americans than Whites.

continued

In our consideration, we cannot overlook the systemic issues underlying these facts. Issues like food and deserts in our communities, the proliferation of unhealthy (highly processed and overly sweetened) foods at low prices, the lack of safe spaces for physical activity, and poverty as an underlying issue contribute to the disparities in our overall health as African Americans. Full regard of these facts, however still require us to strive for better health not only as individuals, but as a community. Our communal effort is a part if the balanced approach to living that we must all consider. Aspects of the Eight Dimensions of Wellness provide holistic and practical action that can help us refine and enhance our lives.

According to the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration, The Eight Dimensions of Wellness are: Emotional—Coping effectively with life and creating satisfying relationships Environmental—Good health by occupying pleasant, stimulating environments that support well-being Financial—Satisfaction with current and future financial situations Intellectual—Recognizing creative abilities finding ways to expand knowledge and skills

and

Occupational—Personal satisfaction and enrichment from one’s work Physical—Recognizing the need for physical activity, healthy foods, and sleep Social—Developing a sense of connection, belonging, and a well-developed support system Spiritual—Expanding a sense of purpose and meaning in life By considering each aspect of wellness, we can all determine what areas for potential growth and strength we have and set goals for personal progress.

Whatever our areas of concern are, we can strategically seek support, share with others, keep MEN of Valor | 40

ourselves and each other accountable for our progress. Our individual and collective efforts will bear the fruit and fulfillment we work for quality of life.

We do not have to settle into complacency and premature decline as we face the middle-phases of our lives.

Consider this passage from Philippians 3: 13-15 New Living Translation: No, dear brothers and sisters, I have not achieved it, but I focus on this one thing: Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead, I press on to reach the end of the race and receive the heavenly prize for which God, through Christ Jesus, is calling us.

I desire to realize eternal blessing and rewards, but I also believe God intends for us to have higher living, -Greater emotional resilience and peace in the face of personal challenge, clean, organized, and stimulating environments in which to live and work stability and

effectiveness, fulfillment, and impact as we live now!

We need balance in our lives and to deliberately work for the fruit balance can provide for us and those around us. I challenge every reader of this article, especially men to look up Bishop Walker’s sermon on YouTube and to consider the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration’s perspectives on the Eight Dimensions of Wellness. Let it motivate your efforts towards total wellness. The Eight Dimensions of Wellness have become for me foundational concepts for shaping a balanced life. I believe planning, choices, effort, self-denial, and persistence are essential as I pursue my goals for life today. To that end, I decree and declare that I will work to cultivate and will have: freedom in my finances through elimination of unnecessary debt.

More challenge and productivity through intellectual pursuits including opportunities for advancement greater satisfaction and impact through my daily work and professional life healing, wholeness, and greater physical wellness for longevity connection, servanthood, companionship and friendship through social interaction, and purpose, peace, joy and contentment through my spiritual life and my practices. Whatever our faith perspectives or individual experiences, I believe balanced approach and effort towards these dimensions of wellness are a viable path to realizing greater health and fulfillment. As we all seek to live our best lives, my prayer is that we would live in greater consciousness and connectedness with each other and through our God realize higher purpose and fulfillment.

MEN of Valor | 41

Kevin Nesmith is a native of Charleston, SC and serves as a middle school counselor and a pastor in the African Methodist Episcopal Church. The Reverend Kevin L. Nesmith is an Itinerant Elder in the African Methodist Episcopal Church and serves as the Pastor of St. Thomas A. M. E. Church in Alto, Texas. Pastor Nesmith is a native of Charleston, South Carolina, a graduate of South Carolina State University (Bachelor of Science - Accounting), Perkins School of Theology at Southern Methodist University (Master of Divinity) and the University of North Texas (Master of Education in Counseling).

Devoted to “giving back what has freely been given to him,” Rev. Kevin has been deliberate about serving in organizations that meet vital needs for the community. He has served as the Chaplain for the Dolphin Heights Neighborhood Association in Dallas. He is a mentor with Big Brothers/Big Sisters of North Texas and a mentor with Project Alpha, the

mentorship program of Alpha Phi Alpha Fraternity, Incorporated, of which he is a proud member. Rev. Nesmith has also served as a volunteer with the National Alliance for Mental Illness (N.A.M.I), the Association of Persons Affected by Addiction (A.A.P.A), and a facilitator for educational and community outreach organizations in Charleston, South Carolina, Houston, and Dallas for more than 25 years.

Rev. Kevin’s personal witness and testimony is, “...we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to His purpose.” So, trust the God and trust the process!

MEN of Valor | 42

.

MARRIAGE & FAMILY…PARENTING101 Spank or Not Spank: That is the Question The debate in the world about spanking will rage on forever. However, there should be no debate among the Body of Christ. However, I’m not so naïve to that the debate does not rage in the homes of saints. One parent believes in corporal punishment as a form of discipline and the other does not. One parent thinks that talking will resolve issues, and the other doesn’t.

One parent thinks that spanking them is what is needed until they reach an age where you can reason with them and teach them the difference between right and wrong.

When we discuss this issue, the act of spanking Is not the only thing to consider. What is the appropriate age for the first spanking. Then what kind or how do you spank a child. We must discuss what are appropriate things to use when spanking, do you use something like a belt, or just your hands? All these questions are debates that have proven to be endless. With the entry and passing of each generation, the very idea of corporal punishment leaves a bad taste in the mouths of some, while remaining on the menu of others as the question of discipline arises.

What does God say about spanking? We believe that the best place to start for direction from God is with the book of Proverbs. It is important to understand that we must first discipline our children. The Bible tells us in Hebrews 12:6-11 For whom the LORD loves He chastens and scourges every son whom He receives.”

If you endure chastening, God deals with you as with sons; for what son is there whom a father does not chasten? 8 But if you are without chastening, of which all have become partakers, then you are illegitimate and not sons. 9 Furthermore, we have had human fathers who corrected us, and we paid them respect.

Shall we not much more readily be in subjection to the Father of spirits and live? 10 For they indeed for a few days chastened us as seemed best to them, but He for our profit, that we may be partakers of His holiness.

11

In the Christian home, the Bible should serve as our blueprint for daily living. This also includes disciplining our children. Many would say spanking is archaic, barbaric, abusive. While many would agree that spanking although unpleasant at the time, did not kill them, but taught them boundaries and lessons they would never forget. Either way, let us turn to the Bible and see what instructions God has laid out for us as parents.

Now no

[b]

chastening seems to be joyful for the

present, but painful; nevertheless, afterward it yields the peaceable fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it. This would indicate that discipline is important ingredient for bringing up children in the admonition of God. If we say we love our children and do not discipline them we are lying to ourselves, and we are setting our children up for failure in all areas of MEN of Valor| 51

Spank or Not Spank: continued

life. We must understand that, this is a great responsibility and fundamental as parents.

Proverbs 22:15 says “Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child, but the rod of discipline will drive if far from him.” It is through discipline that correction is made, and children are taught right from wrong. By our very nature as children and adults we are rebellious. Therefore, when the rebellion shows itself it is up to the parent to address it quickly, consistently, and firmly with the rod of discipline if a change is to be made.

Otherwise, the child will have learned just the opposite., that bad behavior is okay. That disrespect is okay. And truly it is not.

When discipline takes place, it saves our children it saves them from themselves, the divisive and destructive nature that humans innately have.

Discipline helps not hurts. Sure, it stings for a moment but the temporal pail will be far greater than the eternal pain an undisciplined child will feel later in life. Proverbs 23:13-14 instructs us to “Withhold not discipline from the child, for if you strike and punish him with the rod, he will not die.

Thou shalt beat him with the rod and shalt deliver his soul from hell. The operative word that many

concentrates on here “BEAT”. Surely God, nor King Solomon mean for a parent to hit a child in the head, or kick them, slap them around like a rag doll, or starve them as a form of discipline. The word beat is figurative, for teaching purposes. And yes, if needed …SPANK…DRILL it into their psyche.

Not draw blood, burn, scar, or bruise the child.

It is imperative that as parents we must always discipline with love and compassion. You should also come with correction in the form of a conversation either before or after about why a spanking took place. Every child cannot be disciplined alike. Some children require the rod, while others simply need a conversation to discuss the issue that is at hand. Some children panic at the slightest raising of the voice. Therefore, it is yet again imperative that you study not only the behaviors of each child, but also the personality of each child. This helps to know what form of discipline is required for each child.

MEN of Valor| 52

Never discuss during the spanking why, because the child is not listening at that point. His/her mind is on the spanking. So. enter conversation with your child about the spanking. If a child does not understand why, they may not have learned anything from this, and will probably repeat the behavior. In all things trust God and seek his counsel on how you should discipline your children. What worked for the neighbor’s children, may not work for yours. What worked for you, may not work for your children. Either way, spare not the rod, if you do, you are doing yourself, society and most of all the child a disservice. A child who receives no correction from his parents will not be able to receive any from God.

MEN of Valor| 53

MEN of Valor| 54

MEN of Valor| 55

MEN of Valor| 56

MISCONCEPTIONS OF MANHOOD

BY ROBERT L. BANKSTON, JR. wouldn’t want to live in a neighborhood like that?

Growing up in the 1960s, on the east side of Detroit in a blue-collar working-class neighborhood most of the men worked in one of the big three automobile plants, or some sort of factory. The average family size was eight, and sometimes more. The women (wives) stayed home to raise the children, and take care of the home, while meeting the needs of their husbands.

HOME LIFE The homes were large; most of them were frame, or wooden houses that were well taken care of with manicured lawns. Most of the families were buying their homes, and few renters lived in my neighborhood. The men had good jobs working in the plant, the cost of

living was less, and home ownership was the American dream. My neighborhood was close-knit, and everybody knew each other. The neighborhood was filled with the sounds of laughter, kids running, playing and having a good time. Women would gather to talk with one another, and it was common practice for neighbors to borrow sugar, flour, or whatever was needed to finish the task until the next trip to the market.

The men would gather at the barbershop, the local bar, or at one another’s home on the weekend to fellowship, and drink. This is in stark contrast to neighborhoods of today, where people don’t know their neighbors, they don’t trust their neighbors, and neighbors are less than friendly. Who

However, my neighborhood was far from perfect.

The neighborhood was not always a true reflection of what was going on behind closed doors. In many of these homes, many of the men were cheating on their wives. It was an unwritten rule that it was ok, if your wife did not catch you or no one saw you.

This included my home and my father.

CULTURE & MEN I grew up in a culture despite that fact the men knew it was wrong to cheat on their wife, and most men could not handle it if it were done to them, it was acceptable if the man brought home the paycheck, and there were no tell-tell signs of his cheating.

I remember one of my friend’s mother going to the house on the next block where his father was.

This was the house people loved to go for fun, and there were always single women there to flirt, and entertain. My friend’s mother decided she had had enough and MEN of Valor| 57

broke out all the windows of his car.

I recall several murders in my neighborhood where men were killed as the result of cheating. One occurred directly across the street from my home. Although, the woman in this love triangle was the cheater, it still resulted in the death of a husband at the hands of a boyfriend.

The second murder occurred a block over, the woman left her husband, and children to live around the corner with her lover.

The husband went to the house to convince his wife to return home, and he was murdered by her lover.

Directly next door to me, Mrs. Smith was dating Mr. Jones, and

they both were married to other people! Several more doors down from me lived, my best friend whose father had a baby with a woman less than two blocks away from his home. Despite his infidelity, his wife allowed him to remain in their home, but as I understand it they maintained separate bedrooms, and he was forced to pay her child support.

So, what is my point, you may ask yourself? When I married I did the same thing?!

MY TESTIMONY I was living a worldly lifestyle that included drugs, alcohol, gambling and infidelity. I had become a product of my environment. As long, as I didn’t get caught, or the

cheating didn’t follow me home, I took care of my family, and it was okay. Well, it was ok; until it was done to me … I never imagined the magnitude of the gut-wrenching pain and agony that stemmed from betrayal. Until my wife cheated on me … I had never experienced pain on that level.

Because of witnessing rampant infidelity and not having a personal relationship with God, I had a misconception of manhood.

Cheating seemed normal, and I believed that it was natural. Once I experience this pain, I decided to protect myself from this kind of hurt again by having a “spare” in other words, another woman or a chick on the side.

THE PRICE Boy did I pay a high price for low living. Ten years after my ex-wife’s infidelity we divorced, but I never lived with my wife without a spare. By the time I married for a second time, I had learned some painful, but necessary lessons. I was no longer living a worldly life; however, this marriage ended after a year because we were ill prepared to be married.

After one year of separation, and one month prior to our divorce being finalized, I had an affair. Now, I am in my third marriage. To say, I have been married three times is something I am not proud of, but this also my wife’s third marriage. My worldly, lifestyle is a thing of the past!

Before I met my current wife, I came to the reality that my “picker” or my criteria for selecting a wife was broken. It had not served me well. Truthfully, I didn’t know how to pick a wife. I always picked them based on the wrong criteria such as physical characteristics or my lustful desires.

MEN of Valor| 58

My relationship with God is the strongest it has ever been. My misconception of what a man is had long been shattered. This time I asked God to send me a wife, and He did. As a matter of fact, during our first meeting, I promised my wife that I would never, cheat on her, I would never lie to her, and I would never hurt her. Talk about a first date discussion...it has been eight years and I have remained true to *those promises.

Is this a perfect marriage? Absolutely not, but today we live our lives based on Godly principles to the best of our ability. Now, I understand that manhood involves a real, working relationship with God, and His son Jesus. Treating my wife with love and respect are also guiding principles for my relationship. Today my conception of manhood is to become the man and husband that God wants me to be, and that He can be proud of.

Many people suffer in silence because they are on image patrol. They fear what others would think of them, if they revealed who they really were or what their secret struggles were. This occurs in every lifestyle especially in the church the author believes our secrets keep us sick and helps to keep us moving in a downward spiral. In this article, the author breaks his silence and sheds some light on his misconception of manhood and how it has affected his life and relationships without fear or what other people will think of him.

Out of his own pain was birthed a compassion to help others who are facing this same dilemma and help them break the silence and be free to live a healthy productive lifestyle.

From a worldly lifestyle that included Drugs, Alcohol, Gambling, and Adultery to living a Godly lifestyle. The street life had become a way of life for me and I did not see a way out.

Today he has dedicated his life to helping others as a mentor and motivational speaker who often speaks to various organizations and groups concerning issues of manhood and life. He has traveled to various cities telling his story and spreading hope to those who feel hopeless.

He also facilitates H&I meetings at the various treatment centers every week.

People need to know they no longer must suffer in silence help is available. This month it will be 24 years since God has delivered me from a worldly lifestyle of self-destruction. Today I am living the life of a Christian man as a productive member of society.

For more information you may contact:Robert.bankston@yahoo.com

MEN of Valor| 59

MEN of Valor| 60

What is ATigneySolutions?

ATigneySolutions is the covering and system by which we provide personal and corporate solutions, so people can live the life they were created to live! We pride ourselves on offering unparalleled service to individuals and organizations to maximize their strongest assets. Our core competencies center on process engineering and building human capital through transformational strategies.

The Man, the Ministry, the Momentum Arthur W. Tigney, Jr., M.A., LPC, NCC, CPT Our Organizations/Departments: New Destiny International – Training and Dispatching Center to position individuals for destiny and training them to walk in the fullness of who God created them to be.

Tucson Bible College – provides various tracks of education for individuals desiring to pursue Biblical certificates or diplomas, professional certifications, designations or to enhance their life.

Kingdom Advancements/ATigney.Solutions Coaching Group Professional counseling and coaching services for individuals and families. Assisting individuals to move beyond roadblocks or broken places to wholeness.

MEN of Valor| 61

Tigneycontinued How do you balance work, ministry, and family?

The balance of ministry and family is one that requires significant focus and has progressed over time to a God-centered understanding for myself and those I serve. Considering that I primarily belong to the category of family, it is important that I begin there. I must first ensure that I am the primary recipient of what is typically called balance. It is important for me to start my day with a T4Mation discipline. This is my version of putting on my oxygen mask first, and then caring for others around me.

The second principle is realizing what balance really is. I believe that our traditional view and understanding of this as it relates to life is a myth. For example, we have learned that five hours here and five hours there is balance. I believe that our time allotment has to be sufficient for the assignment that is most important at the time. When my children where younger, I had to give them more time, now they are older they require less.

With my wife, we had to discover how to give each other more quality than quantity time because of increasing responsibilities.

Our understanding of balance works like white blood cells. They tend to collect where there is an injury or need. However, prior to injury the principal task of white blood cells is to keep the body nourished. Thus, balance is making quality deposits prior to the need. So, if one requires more time and attention, rather than family, ministry, or personal time it can be provided without leaving the other areas neglected.

What are the top three issues pertaining to men, that you face as a therapist?

In my experience I have seen men struggle with sexuality issues, authority, and leadership. Primarily men struggle in these areas because God has created us as sensual and sexual beings to be in authority and to be providers. Each of these areas then have a counter assignment in which Satan works to take man from a place of proper positioning (fully erect) to a place of impotence without power or functionality. When we look at the Hebrew word for male, Zakar which means to mark or to remember as in the form of covenant with God and who God says we are as men. I have even heard it equated it to being erect or in right position according to the covenant in what we were created for, which is to be fruitful and multiply.

Satan distorts sexuality by creating an improper use of that which was given for spiritual reasons. In sexuality men have focused more on using it for self-gratification in place of honing the energy source to produce after the Godkind. Satan even uses it to either emasculate men in unhealthy marriages or to over stimulate men in singleness. If the purpose is not fully understood it constantly creates a distorted perspective and misuse of what God intended to be good and

Tigney Interview

continued

pleasurable. This is at the core of our creative gifting and ability in homes, thus, leaving a wound and lack of example on how to navigate true authority. In some cases, men equate authority to subduing their spouse or ruling them. The commandment to rule and subdue was not about other humans as each was given that directive. It was about the situations and circumstances in life. However, when men feel inadequate they tend to resort to brute strength versus using the creative power of God to navigate chaos and disorder. God demonstrated the power of taking a chaotic and dark world and bringing order by using the authority of his voice, “and God said.� My questions to the readers is, “what you are saying versus what you are doing?�

Lastly, leadership or being a provider can become a catch twenty-two, in that when we work, they want us home, but when we don’t make money, they want us to work‌ lol. Learning how and when to provide financially, emotionally, spiritually, and let’s not forget romantically is a common issue that men contend with.

God said work the ground, name the animals and then He created woman for his reward and pleasure as it was not good for him to be alone. Now women resent the very thing that got them here. It causes men to be confused, because they are operating instinctively, and women want them to respond intuitively which is how He created them, so they can be intuitive to the needs of man as he instinctively provides. I must say, I know this is an “outdatedâ€? model, but the concept is still real. Which is why we see so many divorces and frustrated relationships. Applying 21st century culture to God’s design means a lot of reconditioning‌. đ&#x;˜Š. It is also important to note that there have been so many abuses or misuses of what God intended that we now have to deal with the aftermath of lots of wrongs to make things right.

Is there a difference between the man, the therapist, and the minister?

The man is the man, the things I do are functions of how I operate. The gifts or skillsets only allow me more tools to use to navigate life and maximize purpose. I don’t as many do, compartmentalize my life, but I do set boundaries for which tools operate and when and with whom for ethical reasons.

Do you ever find yourself in conflict as it pertains to your roles?

Based on the information above it keeps conflict of roles to a minimum, as there are times I must clearly differentiate which role I am functioning in. It may be husband, father, therapist, friend, consultant, or any other skillset I hold. Maintaining an internal ethic allows for the appropriate use at the appropriate time. One does not use a hammer when the job calls for a screwdriver or even drill. Wisdom, discernment, processes and schedules keeps these roles harmoniously operating so that God is glorified.

What is the greatest fear you've encountered with men?

Rejection and abandonment stemmed from the death of my father at age ten. That event-initiated cycle of dysfunction in my life. Unconsciously, I related men to my father and did not really trust them to be there if I really needed them. As a result, this increased dysfunction until God healed me and helped me overcome the fear and being able to speak truth regardless of the actions of others and to pour myself into men without sacrificing my values and ethics.

When it comes to supporting your mate, what is the struggle? Why is it so difficult?

My struggle has been giving her the space when I desire her time and attention. We have been at this for 28 years and have done pretty good. I always laugh when I share how I would get jealous of her when she was doing the work of the Lord. It is not difficult because we both have been very supportive for each other and have operated with grace toward each other. I do believe it to be important to keep communicating and keep MEN of Valor | 63

pressing through challenges when it comes to supporting each other. Your spouse should be your greatest fan when it comes to your pursuits, and as such you should be their greatest fan when it comes to their needs as well. This creates a safe place for all to love and grow together successfully.

Is it ok for a man to cry?

Ask my wife, children, grandchildren, and congregation, even the men cry…lol. I believe the bigger question is “what women do when men cry?” Can they allow them the space to process emotions without making it a sign of weakness? There is a difference between crying and being emotionally unstable!

The absence of a father or father figure in the home has been a major part of the issue behind the decline of the family in the black community. Please address this, and what is an effective solution? Or can this be reversed?

This can be addressed by mentors, spiritual fathers, and fathers choosing to do better. In our community, I am considered a spiritual father. I have been fathered by men of God that has help me to develop beyond my weakness and dysfunctions as mentioned above. I have also had mentors or teachers to influence my life and teach me what I was not.

MEN of Valor | 64

THIS BOOK IS A MUST READ! There is a point in your life when you need to evaluate where you are and why. It may be prior to marriage or children, a midlife crisis, or a certain age. Ultimately, we all want to know if we are maximizing our full potential or if there is still greatness locked inside of us. This simple book provides powerful information and strategies to literally transform your life and unlock the greatness that is locked inside of you. The goal of this book is to help you develop the skill needed to reveal your greatest potential! Get a copy of this book for friends and family members to resolve years of frustration. Discover renewed ways to unlock and unleash greatness within you. Learn how to turn it all around and “Unlock the Greatness Within” now!

Arthur W. Tigney, Jr., M.A., LPC, NCC, CPT. CEO, ATigney.Solutions Providing Personal & Corporate Solutions www.ATigney.Solutions (520) 323-8852

Don’t be afraid to ask God the hardest questions.

He longs to answer you with His power, His grace and by showing you His love.

For He is a loving and living God. He is a personal God who is active in every area of life. “The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom, and the knowledge of the Holy one is understanding.” (Proverbs 9:10) If we are the children of God, we are not so much to pray that the spirit may come and dwell in us, for He does that already. We are rather to recognize His presence, His gracious and glorious indwelling and give to Him complete control of the hose He already inhabits. “For you, O Lord, are my hope, my trust, O Lord, from my youth. My praise is continually of you. My mouth is filled with your praise and with your glory all day long. My mouth will tell of your righteous acts, of you deed of salvation all day long … Will praise your righteousness yours alone.”

An excerpt from the book Reflections

By Necol

DO YOU RECOGNIZE THESE GREAT AFRICAN-AMEICAN MEN THAT MADE A DIFFERENCE …?

MEN of Valor | 66

NGF, Inc. and MOV magazine is accepting contributions of clothing (adults & children), (new unwrapped) toys, toiletries, cosmetics, hair products, canned goods and other non-perishable food items, gift cards and vouchers, to aid in outreach endeavors. This thanksgiving, we want to give away 100 boxes of food items to families of the Pee Dee. We need your help.

All contributions are tax deductible. For more information please email us at ngfcarolina@gmail.com MEN of Valor | 67

INTERVIEW WITH DJ H VIDAL What does it mean to you to have been selected for the MEN of Valor Magazine?

leveraging and aligning myself with the right people, maximizing my potential and helping other people in a meaningful way, based on my experiences be it good, bad or indifferent.

Relentless personal development, while embracing failure and to always remain teachable are all apart of success, all of which I embrace.

I must tell you, I am grateful and honored. To be featured in a publication that is groundbreaking and inspirational, providing experience, strength and hope along with positive, God-fearing brothers and sisters from all over the world is humbling!

Do you find it difficult to balance work and How do you define family?

SUCCESS? At times, I do! I thank God For me, Success is for having the right people spending most of my time around me to keep me focused on work or tasks grounded. I appreciate that are fulfilling. them for always

reminding me to "tapout" at times, when I tend to become submerged in the grind and daily hustle.

Trust and believe, I am still a work in progress!

Why in your professional opinion is there a stigma about men and therapists?

weakness. Many have thought that seeking therapy would be looked at as a person being weak, soft, or crazy, when in fact, disclosing and being transparent with a therapist can be one of the biggest blessings and gifts that a man could do for himself. Had I not taken that leap of faith to address my early childhood trauma and experiences, I would not be where I am at today and my perspective would still be narrow-minded and skewed.

In both my professional and personal experience, most men have been conditioned to suppress their feelings. Maintaining that "macho" image and being told not to cry or express feelings and any early trauma one may What are some of the causes for have experienced within leading their life, would be addictive behaviors? considered as a sign of

MEN of Valor | 68

VIDAL INTERVIEW continued

There are many theories regarding addictive behaviors. Some will say it is a "brain disease" while others may say it is a "choice" or "learned behavior" or even genetic.

The obsession and compulsion, while engaging in the behavior, even though it causes harm (physical, mental, relationships), a person will compulsively engage in the activity regardless of any harm done or whatever the consequences are.

withdrawal, minimizing and self-centeredness are some of the core factors. It’s great to see and be an advocate in breaking the stigma on addiction and the behaviors.

Per our conversation ‌what do you see as one of the reasons for absentee father’s in the black community, or is the news we see and hear misleading about our fathers?

When did the light bulb go off for you that life needed to change, that you needed to change?

One of the many reasons for absenteeism as fathers Other characteristics, such in our community is due to the cycle of black as denial, depression, fathers not being present. I believe the narrative has changed,

due to the awareness and black men stepping up to break the cycle, by not allowing their past or lack of having a father, define who they are as men. The news and media is and has always been misleading about our fathers and what that looks like. We have been conditioned either by our living conditions, television, radio, billboards, etc, depicting black men as criminals, hustlers, drug dealers, athletes, and entertainers.

Images of fatherhood and family has always been in the forefront in other communities, which for me, has created a belief system within black men of self-doubt, lack of values and not being able

to even see it for ourselves.

With social media, awareness and just being sick of the negative stigma that has been attached, I believe that we as black men have stepped up to the plate, by not allowing that to be our reality.

The light bulb went off for me when I continued to act out with the same addictive behaviors and beliefs, not understanding why my children did not value or even acknowledge me as their father. I continued to blame others for my shortcomings, even my children. I was angry all the time, self-centered and manipulative. After years of self-sabotage, addiction and burning bridges, I reached my MEN of Valor | 69

bottom, just four years family, relationships and have a spouse that will suffering. The enabler will ago when I was sitting in my former marriage "turn the cheek" and lose all sense of who a jail cell for a drunken tremendously. One may enable the one who is domestic dispute, facing my first felony conviction ever; (after numerous arrests for multiple DUI's throughout my life), my children and family wanted no parts of my existence. It was at that moment in my life where I knew it was time to change one thing: EVERYTHING. How did not having your father around when growing up charter the course of your life?

It affected the course of my life tremendously. I had no identity of who I was or where I came from. I became insecure and depressed, without even realizing why, until I got older. I'm happy to report that I finally found and met my father a few years ago and we have an amazing relationship today!

How does substance abuse hurt marriage?

“A DJ is somebody who should have a good ear for music,” says H. Vidal. “They Substance Use Disorder should know what to play, when to play a record and know how to play a record and addiction is a family also being able to interact with people. You gotta be able to mix good music. You disease! gotta be a people person to be a good DJ. I’m gonna do whatever it takes. I’m Everyone suffers.

It gonna go above and beyond to make sure that you have a good time.” affects marriage and relationships on every level, to include finances, -Charlie Braxton trust and fidelity.

Based on my experience, it has affected me, my they are, because they are now addicted to "fixing" or trying to change their MEN of Valor | 70

spouse who is addicted! Until there is COMPLETE surrender from within, the cycle will only continue and worsen.

What is the greatest fear you've encountered as a man?

The greatest fear I have encountered is simple: BEING A MAN. I never knew what it truly meant to be a man, or what it entailed. As I mentioned earlier, I had this belief and image of what being a man was, when in fact I was nothing more than a selfish, self-centered boy, trapped in a man’s body. I wasn't open to receiving the information or mentoring from real men, who are walking the walk. It wasn't until I hit rock bottom

and finally realized that I have sons, that are going to become MEN someday, and will need the guidance that I never had; and that I have daughters who will become WOMEN who may potentially fall in love, marry or have a child with a self-centered, selfish and abusive BOY trapped in a man’s body who was JUST LIKE ME. I thank God every day for intervening and allowing me to become vulnerable, teachable and grounded enough, to finally grow up and become the MAN I am today. My children love me today, I get to be their dad. More importantly, I finally love and value myself today, so that others may authentically and truly love me in return.

MEN of Valor | 71

THE ROAD TO RECOVERY The Story of an Ex-Addict by DJ H Vidal I was born and raised with my 2 younger brothers in Reading, PA by my grandmother. My mother wasn't present as much as she wanted to be due to her addiction to heroin. With that, came the consequences of her addiction, such as prison and later her death. Me and my two brothers all had different fathers. I was the only one who didn't have a relationship with my father. It used to infuriate

me in knowing that my brothers had a dad who would call, recognize birthdays and holidays and pick them up. I used to get teased because I didn't have a dad, or any sense of who I really was. As a direct result, I truly believe that as a young boy, growing into adolescence, the inner elements of anger, resentment, selfcenteredness and entitlement began to fester, which for me is a

recipe for the core of the disease of Substance Use Disorder.

As I grew into manhood, (or should I say, a little boy trapped in a man's body) I had already had my first child at the age of 17. I wasn't the best father to my daughter (now 29), because I didn't know what being a father was about. Not to mention, I was still a child myself. I ended up quitting school and working odd jobs, thinking: "that's what a man is supposed to do..."

MEN of Valor | 72

2 years later, my dearest mother succumbed to the AIDS virus, as a direct result of her heroin use. As you can imagine, my entire world crumbled. I never got the chance to truly bond with my mother, the way a young boy typically would. I never got enough loving hugs, or just to hear "I'm proud of you son", or even having that mother to put a Band-Aid on when I scraped my knee from skateboarding. No football games, or track meets with

wife, who I continued to be with for the next 13 years and we had three beautiful children. At this time, my alcohol and substance use progressed rapidly.

My life became unmanageable with my choices as a husband and father. I would stay out late or not come home at all. I was unfaithful to my wife at the time on more occasions than I can remember. Because of that, I ended up having more children outside of my

a present father or husband, and to add, my being promiscuous led me to fathering children outside of my marriage. Due to my choices, my marriage ended and my relationship with my children was severely damaged. Years later, I managed to rack up multiple DUI charges and a Simple Assault charge, from a domestic dispute due to my choices. It was at that moment, I had officially hit rock bottom. No one wanted anything

THE ROAD TO RECOVERY

mom in the stands to watch her son excel athletically.

No home cooked Sunday dinners, with no shoulder to cry on, and no forehead kisses from mom. My grandmother did the best she could in raising us, based on what she had. However, she wasn't the most affectionate in filling that void that I so longed for.

Not to mention, I still hadn't met or found my father yet. With all that said: This was the recipe of my codependency on women, once I started to get older and involve myself in relationships and marriage. I was now in full-blown addiction to alcohol and drugs. I later went on to marry my first

marriage. My anger and resentment began to increase toward myself, my mother, and my father. All the while, unwilling to address the fact that I was duplicating the exact same upbringing for my children, that they have done for me. By being so promiscuous in my attention seeking from women, I wasn't looking for a companion, wife or best friend. I was in fact, looking for a mother. While married to my first wife, I used drugs and alcohol and acted out in behaviors that were embarrassing and unsatisfactory I made choices that someone considered to be "normal" wouldn't make. Late nights, not returning home or being

continued

to do with me. They were sick and tired of my continued behaviors, damaging their trust with broken promises and self-centeredness. As I sat in my prison cell for the last time, I finally concluded that it was time to completely surrender to a life of complete change and long-term Recovery. I began to relentlessly work on myself. My values, integrity and honesty. I began to live by principles, rather than my feelings. I surrounded myself with positive, God-fearing men who could show me how to live as a man, father, husband, brother and friend. They spoke life into me, seeing things within me, that I did not see within myself. By doing so, MEN of Valor | 73

I can honestly say that I am free. No longer living in guilt, shame and remorse, due to my childhood, not having a mother or father present in my life. Some years later, I managed to find my father and we have a great relationship today!

As a direct result of surrendering to the disease of Substance Use Disorder, I'm living a life that I never

thought possible. I am a productive member of society today, running my DJ business on the weekends, while during the week, I am blessed to be licensed to work in the field of addictions, where I may humbly serve those who are suffering the way I have. My children love and trust me today. I have a phenomenal relationship where God is the center. I have learned to love and connect with God, who

has shown me how to love myself. In turn, I truly know what love is, and that it is not based on what I say, but in what I do. Every day, no matter how life shows up, I know that God has brought me through the storms in the past and the ones that are present, to prepare me for the blessing he has in store for me in the future.

MEN of Valor | 74

MEN of Valor | 75

When it comes to working the

turntables, nobody does it better than DJ H. Vidal. DJ H. Vidal has been rocking the ones and twos for several decades. His unique style of captivating the crowd, programming the room and blending vocals from hot new records with blazing instrumentals from the past has blessed audiences all over the country.

As a youngster growing up in Reading, Pennsylvania, H. Vidal listened to the music that his mother would play When it comes to working the turntables, nobody does it better

than DJ H. Vidal. DJ H. Vidal has been rocking the ones and twos for several decades. His unique style of captivating the crowd, programming the room and blending vocals from hot new records with blazing instrumentals from the past has blessed audiences all over the country.

As a youngster growing up in Reading, Pennsylvania, H. Vidal listened to the music that his mother would play throughout the house. As a result, he was raised on a steady musical diet of classic funk and soul. Groups like the BarKays, the Fatback Band, Parliament/Funkadelic, Earth,

Wind & Fire and Mandrill were staples on his mom’s turntable.

And the precocious little tyke was soaking it all in growing up.

The same thing happened when he heard his first rap record King Tim III by the Fatback Band, which, by the way, was the first hip-hop record ever released, beating the Sugar Hill Gang’s “Rapper’s Delight” by about two weeks. Like his mom’s penchant for 70s funk and soul, H. Vidal was hooked on the music of his generation, making records by stalwart hip-hop acts like LL Cool Jay, The Fat Boys, The Skinny Boys, Treacherous 3 and RunDMC a mainstay in his musical buffet. But as much as he loved

MEN of Valor | 76

rap music, oddly enough his first active participation in hip-hop culture wasn’t music, but dance.

From there H. Vidal got into beatboxing thanks to his love for the music of groups like the Fat Boys, the Skinny Boys and Dougie Fresh. His passion for making percussive sounds and music with his mouth lead him to battling other beatboxers from around his way. But it was one fateful day in 1986, when H. Vidal went to a party at Philly’s fabled Fair Mount Park, where he saw the legendary DJ Jazzy Jeff rock the turntables and his life was forever changed. “I saw DJ Jazzy Jeff DJ,” recalls Vidal.

“I was done after that. I had to have it. Nothing else mattered, that was it.”

That Christmas he convinced his grandmother to buy him some DJ equipment. She bought him two belt-driven turntables, a mixer with no crossfader, a pair of speakers and four records.

Although he didn’t have the proper equipment to start with, H. Vidal still managed to hone his DJing skills by studying some the City’s great DJs; among them were DJ Jazzy Jeff, DJ Cash Money, DJ Cool Monte, The Sims Brothers and DJ Ran, whom he credits as being one of his main influences. “, DJ Ran [is] like a major influence as far as my style, how I mix, how I scratch, how I rock clubs, he’s a major, major influence.”

After honing his skills on the wheels of steel, H. Vidal started throwing parties in his grandmother’s attic. A few years later, his parties and mixtapes had H. Vidal’s name started to spread like wildfire in and around the

Philadelphia area. Soon, his reputation as a DJ landed him a spot as a guest mixer on Philly’s number one station Power 99’s holiday mix, a post he held for four years until a close friend recommended him for a position as a mixer at a new station called Power 94.3 in Charleston, South Carolina.

Although hired as the station’s mix show DJ, doing the 5 o’clock drive time mix H. Vidal quickly became the station’s rising star. In addition to doing his regular drive time mix he was picked to helm the station’s ten to twelve-weekend mix plus held down a regular air shift at Power 94.3. Bear in mind that all of this happened to him within the short span of two years. To say the least H. Vidal is one busy DJ, no wonder his organization the Technitions nominated him for their coveted Rookie of the Year

been picked to be Bubba Sparrxxx official DJ. H. Vidal credits his success as a DJ to his experience as a radio, club and mixtape DJ which gives him the ability to read an audience and adapt to different crowds.

He now resides in his hometown of Reading PA, raising his family while running his own successful Mobile DJ business, utilizing his experience he's honed over the years to give his clients an experience of a lifetime

Award. In September of 2004, Clear Channel moved H. Vidal to 95.7 and Wild 98.7 in sunny Tampa Florida, where he held down an on-air shift as well as mixes. Within five short months he became the number one jock in his time slot and is also syndicated on z92.3 in Killeen, Texas from 7pm to midnight where he is also number one in his time slot. And if that’s not impressive enough H. Vidal has also donated mixes. Within five short months he became the number one jock in his time slot and is also syndicated on z92.3 in Killeen, Texas from 7pm to midnight where he is also number one in his time slot.

And if that’s not impressive enough H. Vidal has also done tour dates with comedian Dave Chapelle and has MEN of Valor | 77

REBIRTH -Power Call Interview -$50 The Power Call Monday - Friday 9am - 10am EST! Over 5000 listeners every day. We will interview you and let you brag and dote about your business!

Power Call Commercial - 5/week of advertising 5 days of audio and visual advertising during the Power Call.

Rebirth of The Total Woman Magazine/MEN of Valor Magazine - Published quarterly Free e-zine published quarterly that is directly emailed to our subscribers. 15k subscribers to the magazine. The Print on Demand option is available upon request for a nominal cost and drop shipped to the subscriber.

Full Page Ad - 8.5 x 11 - $795 Half Page (Vertical) 4.25 x 11 - S480 Half Page Horizontal 8.5 5.5-$480 Quarter Page 4.25 x 5.5 - $300 Rebirth of The Total Woman Blog/Website Posting Quarterly Sponsored postings of your business/ organization/church/services available to the public-within our target market.

These postings may include your business photo and information, along with an empowerment message of interview.

Your posting will appear on our blog for 3 months with a renewable agreement to continue.

One size only 4.25 x 5.5 -$150.00 Rebirth of The Total Woman Worldwide Internet TV/Radio Broadcast Weekly – $125.00/month with a 6-month agreement Weekly sponsored programming with guest appearances from industry Professionals, along with the RBTWW Staff.

Sponsors/Partners will receive the following: Commercials - 4/weeks of daily advertising in both audio and visual formats during the broadcast.

Rebirth of The Total Woman Worldwide Tee-Shirt Sponsor-$100/10 shirts Join our Tee-Shirt Campaign as a sponsor and receive 5/weeks of daily advertising in both audio and visual formats during the broadcast. Plus, a free advertising spot on our blog and inside the RBTW Magazine.

MEN of Valor | 78

MEN of Valor | 79

We are a non-profit organization dedicated to the uplifting, revitalization, and rebuilding of the social and economic landscape of the AfricanAmerican family in North Charleston SC and surrounding communities.

African-American Socio-Economic

Our mission is to improve the living conditions and stimulate neighborhood revitalization in these communities.

Development Incorporation

We will create and offer community-based jobs and entrepreneurial ventures to enhance neighborhood development while also providing a good income.

Projects ➢ Avenue of Stars This project seeks to recognize native South Carolinians, past and present, who gain vast acceptance and support in all areas of life

➢ After School Mentorship We will work with Charleston County Schools to provide Mentors of high morals and spiritual character who are dedicated to Changing the direction of students’ lives who are failing both academically and socially.

➢ Community Courtesy Force After extensive and intensive training in areas of sensitivity and self-defense, The force will promote help, service and safety to the communities they patrol. They will be able to assist in developing and maintaining a positive atmosphere in the area.

➢ Community Revitalization We plan to establish a corps consisting of unemployed or under-employed residents, who are skilled in construction, renovations, building and ground maintenance to re-build and re-store area homes and businesses, which will elevate property values when completed.

➢ Prison Ministry We are dedicated to giving men and women who have been incarcerated and want to change their lives, an opportunity for employment.

POST OFFICE BOX 72216 CHARLETON SC 29415 PHONE: 843+-278-8024 FAX: 843-277-0148 EMAIL: AASEDINC@YAHOO.COM MEN of Valor | 80

SUBSCRIBE TODAY

Rebirth of the Total Woman & MEN of Valor Magazines FREE EZINE AVAILABLE FOR PRINTED COPIES ONLY PAYAL,ME/REBIRTHMAGAZINE…$25.00 (COPIES WILL ARRIVE IN 2-3 WEEKS)

Rbtwmagazine.com rbtwmagazine@gmail.com Follow us on: Facebook @rbtwmagazine Twitter @RebirthMagazin2

MEN of Valor | 81

These are they…

Sons, Brothers, Husbands, Fathers, Cousins, Nephews, Best Friends…Preachers, Teachers, Artists, Athletes, Doctors, Lawyers, Students, First Responders and more…We Salute African-American Men

MEN of Valor | 82

MEN of Valor | 83

MEN of Valor | 84