grass roots Trouble-shooter for hire! What’s your crisis?
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Climate Summit Chief
HE call came through about mid-morning. Well three minutes past eleven, to be precise. Actually, it did not really come through because I did not get to the phone in time. Anyway, the call was from Downing Street. At least I am pretty sure it must have been them. I did call the BT operators to check but they said they couldn’t confirm anything. Security, you see. Quite understandable. It’s a racing certainty that the PM wanted me to head up the big climate conference in Glasgow in November, a role for which, logically, I am an obvious candidate. I’ve been steeped in this climate stuff for years. And when I say steeped in it, I don’t just mean that I’ve been knee-deep in River Lugg floodwater. The problem that Number Ten had was that the minister who was in line to headline Glasgow was not exactly well known beyond our shores. Her name will come to me in a minute. Yes! Claire! No, not Clare Balding, but Claire….sorry, I’ll just have to look it up. Claire Perry, that’s it. Or rather Claire Perry O’Neill, as she is nowadays. Under Theresa May, she had been minister of er… Yes! minister of state for energy and clean growth. If climate has never been part of her full ministerial title, that’s because all references to climate change in government ranks were deleted sometime around 2015. As though that would make climate change go away! How could Tory leaders know back then that global heating and extreme weather would intensify? Little Greta Thunberg was at that time barely in secondary school, let alone on regular Friday afternoon climate strike! And many Tories in the shires, like North Shropshire MP Owen Patterson, were climate change sceptics. (He was the Environment Secretary who turned down a briefing on climate change from the department’s chief scientist.) Anyway, Claire Perry O’Neill was low profile, if not totally obscure. And Boris Johnson needed a heavyweight. That’s the impression that Downing Street has given. So, when the name of the new UN climate summit chief was revealed, there was a rustling sound, as heads were scratched and people went scurrying to find their parliamentary guide books. The new conference supremo turned out to be Alok Sharma, secretary of state for business, energy and industrial strategy. The member for Reading West. Previously at the Department for International Development. You had not heard of him? Well no, neither had I, actually. The point is not whether we know him, but what would we suggest he does, to put Glasgow on the map and make the UN climate conference go with a bang.
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Well for a start, let’s stop wittering on about getting to Net Zero by 2050. We need to start doing the things that will produce deep cuts in our greenhouse
OUT Claire Perry O’Neill
IN Alok Sharma
gas emissions. And fast! Somehow, I don’t think that banning the burning of coal and wet logs in a million or so fireplaces is quite going to measure up. So, here are some quick random suggestions. a) Reverse the ten years long freeze on fuel duty. b) Take rapid steps to end subsidies for burning of wood in power stations and denounce the idea that this source of energy is any way sustainable. c) Convene immediate global talks to establish worldwide carbon taxes on aviation fuel. And d) Take similar steps with shipping. In the three years to February 2019 aviation emissions within Europe rose by 21%. As I read it, there is no international rule against taxing fuel taken on board a plane at any given airport. The rules only prohibit the taxation of fuel already on board an arriving aircraft. Then, here in the UK, we must tackle the 80 per cent of homes reliant, for warmth and hot water, on gas fired central heating. A major push on air and ground source heat pumps is needed, so that, in the coming decades, householders can dispense with their gas boilers, or use them only in emergencies or extremes of cold weather. At the same time the self-delusion must end. Our ministers must stop claiming that Britain has cut its greenhouse gas emissions by 40% since 1990. The real number, when we include imported greenhouse gas emissions, and all those vapour trails from airliners, is much nearer 10%. There goes the telephone again! It must be the Home Office. They are desperate for help because of the number of people who can’t work with the Home Secretary, Priti Patel. Well this time the phone can go on ringing. I am not at home. No way! There’s been enough bullying and harassment already. You need riot gear over at the Home Office, and that’s just to survive the morning meeting! I am going into self-isolation. Please leave the groceries by the front door! See you in a few weeks’ time! Julian O’Halloran
