Summer issue 2013

1 Shades Wedding Magazine SPRING 2013 / SHADESMAG.NET

| Summer 2013

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Engaged 16

Dieudonne & Michael

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Christine & Chetan

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Shree & Shaun

Photographer: Art Photo Soul Photography

Photographer: Elizabeth Mercer Photography

Photographer: Andres Valenzuela Photography

Featured Weddings 44

Cloe & Trea

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Angelina & Frederick

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Chandra & Aaron

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Danielle & Malcolm

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Molly & John

I n e v e ry i s s u e

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Love Note Style me Chic Planning

Photographer: A Britt & a Blond

Photographer: Andy Bang Photography

Photographer: Innamorata Photography

Photographer: Open Aperture Photography

Photographer: Sarah Kathleen Photography

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Raina & Ross

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Sherena & Earnest

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Photographer: Laura Matthews Photography

Photographer: Abby Domond Photography

Photography by: Spex Photography Gown by Lela Rose “The Battery� from Nordstrom Bridal * Birdcage headpiece and clip by Nordstrom * Earrings by Infinity Style Jewelry

Features

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C

o n t e n t s

Features 25

Larry Witt Wedding Experience

16 Power Couple

Peter Thomas & Cynthia Bailey

Photo by: Allen Taylor Photography

Departments 15

Big Day Beauty

Sabatoge no more 26 What Women Want Boudior Beauty 27 What Men Want Wine Blending

Details 28 Be Inspired...

33 Have your Cake and eat it too

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Photo by: Aperture photography

Fashion

Pantora Bridal Gowns

78 From His Heart Having trouble keeping your mouth shut?

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Finance Business for Two

Recipe

Cooking with the Neelys 80

Travel 6

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estination Greece 82

Photo by: Sarah Kathleen Photography

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Behind The Scenes Cover shoot

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Photography by: David Watkins Photography * Decor: Ala Flowers & Exquisite Affaires Remembered

Verinia Galloway (Fashion Editor)

Graduating Magna Cum Laude from AIU with a BA in Fashion Design and Marketing, Verinia is a wife, mother,and lover of all things fashion. The owner of Beautistic LLC, a Fashion/Marketing and Beauty Consulting Firm, she keeps her finger on the pulse of what’s trending in today’s fashion business.

In addition to being a business owner she is the Fashion Editor for Shades Wedding Magazine and sits on the board of the Makeva Harold Foundation, a charity based out of West Palm Beach, FL that strives to gives better opportunities to the less fortunate. Family, successful business ventures and opportunities to give back,Verinia believes she can have it all! Check out her insights on everything fashion in Street Fashions and Accessories on shadesmag.net.

Kobe Ellis (Beauty Editor) In 2003, in effort to support her two young sons as a single mother, Kobe Ellis conceived the business idea to share her unique technique for applying Eyelash Extensions with the Jacksonville, Florida community while completing her college education at the University of North Florida.

She named the company Eyes By Kobe. Since its inception, the company has continued to flourish and Miss Ellis has herself become internationally known as an Eyelash Extension and Brow Shaping Guru in the beauty industry. Kobe is now an international speaker and has amounted a rather discerning clientele.

Kobe has since opened a EBK Beauty LifeSTYLE Salon & Demi Spa which is noted for its array of “Look Great, Feel Great” services focusing on Lash Extensions, Brow Sculpting (Threading & Waxing), High Quality hair sales, Hair Replacements and Expert Hair Extension techniques.

Cover Photography by: Spex Photography www.spexphoto.com Cynthia Gown: Heidi Elnora “Callie Aldridge” Headband, earrings and necklace all provided by Nordstrom Peter: Tux and Shirt: personal

Tie, cuff links, and handkerchief provided by Dillard’s

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Founder and Editorial Director Lakeisha Griffin Executive Director Lisa Church Fashion Editor Verinia Galloway Beauty Editor

Kobe Ellis

Contributing Writers Nicole Ronczyk Shankie Williams Contributing Photographer Spex Photography

For more information contact (954) 558-6249 Info@shadesmag.net sales@shadesmag.net www.shadesmag.net

Summer 2013 Volume 3, Issue 2

Shades Wedding Magazine Copyright 2013 All Rights Reserved NO PART OF THIS PUBLICATION MAY BE REPRODUCED OR TRANSMITTED IN ANY FORM OR ANY MEANS, ELECTRONIC, MECHANICAL, PHOTOCOPYING, RECORDING, OR OTHERWISE, WITHOUT THE PUBLISHER’S PRIOR WRITTEN PERMISSION. PRINTED IN THE U.S.A. Find @SHADESWEDMAG on

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Publishers Note

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his had to be one of the most challenging issues that Shades Wedding Magazine has ever produced. There were times when we didn’t think this would come to fruition. However, we know everything in life doesn’t come delivered on a silver platter. We worked hard and it was well worth it! It was a pleasure working with Peter Thomas and Cynthia Bailey and certainly appreciate them taking the time out of their busy schedule to allow us to get a peek inside of their world. The Spanish Monestery was the perfect backdrop for our Summer Issue. With Miami weather being so unpredictable, I am happy to say that everything held up perfectly! To everyone who participated in this issue; Spex Photo, Infinity Style Jewelry, Kerline Pericles, Sasha Revolus and Mohashie Rodriguez, we appreciate you and look forward to working with you again!

Humbled and forever greatful...

Editors Note Thank you for perusing Shades Wedding Magazine’s Summer Issue. Hosea 4:6 states “My people are destroyed from a lack of knowledge”. This issue is our Power Couple Issue and our goal in this and every issue is to empower you with tips, advice, and ideas to make your wedding and marriage beautiful and successful! There are some gardeners who feel that Summer is the time when you let the land rest after you harvest. As a newly engaged couple you may find yourself ‘resting’ in the matters of the heart. Please do not allow the planning of your Big Day overshadow the bigger picture-the marriage. Seasoned gardeners can tell you that this is just a time to plant a different type of crop. With that in mind, find something new to introduce into your relationship to keep it vibrant and blooming! When is the last time you checked out a hot new restaurant, donned a new hairstyle, or sent a surprise to their office? That long? Plant a new seed! These little things can help sustain you in dry seasons. We implore of you, do not allow the ring, the certificate, kids or life in general cause you to be lazy. Tend to your garden of love and enjoy the fruits!

Be Inspired He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favor from the Lord.

Proverbs 18:22

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Married for 25 years, Thomas and Regina have known each other since 1978, their high school days. On September 2, 1982 they began dating and married in 1988 after graduating from The University of Florida.

Vacations have been apart of their lives since childhood. They believe that traveling is a part of the fabric of life and have continued this tradition with their two children. Starting their agency in 2012, they provide services for both land and sea vacations. If you want to experience new things, broaden your horizons and stimulate your mind then there's nothing like a great vacation. In the words of this power couple, "Go somewhere, do something...together!"

Contact Information: http://www.cruiseone.com/tlockett (561) 444-3526

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Thomas & Regina Lockett Vacation Specialists Cruise One

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BIG DAY BEAUTY

Sabotage No More...

By: Kobe Ellis

Photo by: www.natmedspa.com

Quit sabotaging your own beauty possibilities! Make the most of your daily beauty routine by eliminating the things you shouldn’t be doing! Please eliminate these 5 bad habits before your Big Day!! #5 Don’t go to sleep with that makeup on! You’re tired, you want to just go to bed, and the thought of removing it is just more than you want to do. Don’t you dare let your head hit that pillow without giving your face a night of pampered bliss. All day long your face collects microscopic pollution, you touch it hundreds of times, and your own body oils and sweat have been clogging up your pores. Wash your face and give it a big drink of moisturizer. Then sleep while your body generates new fresh cells rather than it trying to fight off the damage of the day that you wanted to leave on your face for an entire night. #4 Don’t cut your own bangs or trim your own hair. Just stop it.

No matter what you are telling yourself it isn’t working for you.

Stylists keep their scissors sharpened like great chefs keep their knives sharp for the task at hand. Stylists are worth their weight in gold when it comes to cutting and styling but when it comes to the little things like trims and bangs they are actually worth double their weight in gold. Don’t believe it? Pay attention the next time you pass someone on the street and think to yourself “I bet they cut their own hair”. They are thinking the same thing about you. Don’t skimp when it comes to putting scissors to your hair. #3 Quit plucking your eyebrows or waxing them or letting them take over your face. It is unbelievable what a pair of nicely groomed, shaped, and threaded eyebrows can do for someone’s face. Enough said. Just stop doing it yourself and put your eye brows in the hands of a master. Every woman that you see in print 15 Shades Wedding Magazine | Summer 2013

ads, commercials, and movies that you think looks amazing is NOT plucking or waxing their own eyebrows. They go to an eyebrow stylist and let them work their magic and so should you. #2 Don’t put your lipstick on without moisturizing them first.

Lipstick is best applied on soft, supple, moisturized lips.

Your lips will look younger, your color will last longer, and you will look sexier if you have well-conditioned lips. It is an often overlooked body part that fails to get the attention that it deserves. Buy a sugar based lip exfoliator and some great lip moisturizer or balm and don’t go an hour without it when you are at home or relaxing around. Always apply it at night before bed and before you put on your makeup. By applying it as you start your makeup routine it will be well saturated into the lips by the time you are ready for lipstick. The added benefit is that your lips will always be soft and kiss ready! #1 Don’t go another year without a full makeover. If you haven’t changed your look, darkened or lightened your hair a shade, tried parting your hair on the other side, tried the latest eyelash treatments, or gotten highlights then this is the time to make taking care of you a part of your usual routine. By looking your best you will be more confident and more capable of meeting the demands of your life with the gusto to make each day more successful than the last. Make an appointment with a salon and start taking advantage of the beauty treatments that can keep you fresh, shiny and new. Ask for recommendations, ask for new treatment ideas, get your makeup professionally applied, get a new style, try hair extensions and/or eyelash extensions. Whatever you do, be adventurous and keep trying new things. It is the path to take to find the most beautiful you!

Engaged!

Dieudonne & Michael Photographer: ArtPhotoSoul Photographers

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Engaged!

Christine & Chetan Photographer: Elizabeth Mercer Photography

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Engaged!

Sheree & Shaun

Photographer: Andres Valenzuela Photography Wedding Date: August 17, 2013

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STYLE ME CHIC

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STYLE ME CHIC

Are A

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STYLE ME CHIC

A Part 24

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The Larry Witt W e d d i n g

E x p e r i e n c e

This is like no other bridal event that you’ve ever experienced.

Larry Witt and his lovely cohost Claudia give you access to tons of information from some of the best wedding vendors in South Florida. Including Brelex Event Rentals, My Grooms Room, Bijou Bridal, Danava’s Sweet Boutique, The Invitation Stand and Travel by Shaiy just to name a few. Here is a little information about Larry and Claudia.

Larry Witt Jr. resides in Miami, FL and has been a well connected fixture in the event planning industry for over 20 years. He is highly recognized for supreme level of design, creativity, event management and professionalism. Mr. Witts vivid imagination and passion for fanciful events has garnered him well deserved respect among colleges and clients who have had the opportunity to witness his genius!

Claudia Nieto has been in the wedding and event planning business for over 15 years. She was the owner of Affairs by Claudia and Invitations by Claudia on Miracle Mile for 10 years. Claudia’s client roster includes DelMonte, Bacardi, The Ritz Carlton, DiMare Family, Mitch Richmond (NBA player) Cleo Lemon (NFL Player) Julio Inglesias Sr. and KC and the Sunshine Band just to name a few. Claudia currently works in New York City and has been a staple in New York Events and a planner for the NYC Marathon, Iron Man, Wella Hair Products and among others.

Be on the lookout for the Larry Witt Wedding Experience to be in 25 near Shades a city you. Wedding Magazine | Summer 2013

LADIES

What Wom e n Want!

If you’re looking for the perfect gift for the man who has everything then look no more!

Sexy Boudoir pictures are a perfect fit for him.

Become the supermodel that lives inside you... for his eyes only!

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GENTELMEN

What Men want...

Wine and food mixed in with a lottle or in most cases a lot of romance, and you have the perfect gift with her in mind. Personal wine blending like that you find at the Wine Foundry in Sonoma, California is the perfect marriage of the two. Whether you’re a newly married couple or just looking for something different this is a fun and interactive way to just enjoy each other.

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DETAILS

Be

Inspired...

Featuring designs from

Exquisite Affaires by: Ana Stenkoler

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CAKES

Have your cake and eat it too!

Photo Huffingtonpost.com 33 Credit: Shades Wedding Magazine | Summer 2013

34 by: Shades Wedding Magazine | Summer 2013 Photo by: DamonTucci TucciPhotography Photography Photo Damon

Photo Credit: iweddingworld.com

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Photo Credit: truephotography.com

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Photo Credit: cakecouturebytrina.com

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Photo Credit: thecakezone.com

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FASHION

Pantora

Andrea Pitter was launched in 2009. The brand focuses on providing classic pieces with a modern angle. The designs produced by Pantora Inc. accommodate even the most discerning of clients. Andrea approaches her craft from a studious perspective, researching fashion from different eras, gaining inspiration from people of different walks of life. Her love of designing special clothing is not just reflected in her ready to wear line but also in her love for bridal wear. All pieces are made individually in the company studio right here in fashionably noted New York City, and are shipped to our beloved clients all over the world. The Pantora woman is confident, daring and is comfortable in her skin, constantly pushing the envelope in fun, versatile and functional fashion.

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created by designer

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Cloe & Trea Playa Herradura, CR * July 21st Photography by A Britt & A Blonde Los Suenos

Vendor Recipe Venue: Los Suenos www.isrm.com

Photography: A Brit & A Blonde www.abritandablonde.com

Planner: Tropical Occasion wwwtropicaloccasions.com

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Cloe & Trea exchanged their nuptials in sunny Costa Rica. It is a second marriage for both of them - and they are super thrilled that they are expecting their baby girl together. We adored the ‘Kids Table’ that was complete with fun Crayola crayons to keep the kids happy and entertained. The beautiful setting at Los Suenos Beach Club was pure perfection. So often with certain destination weddings you have to "share" the beach with sunbathers and tourists but this was all Cloe & Trea's. Super private and fantastic. Cloe looked gorgeous and her baby bump super precious. We loved the suits that the groomsmen wore too. They looked super dapper. The fruity drinks served up during cocktail hour was the perfect treat to quench the thirst of their guests.

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Angelina & Frederick Cerritos, CA * December 21st

Photography by Andy Bang Photography Cerritos Presbyterian Church

Vendor Recipe Venue: Cerritos Presbyterian Church Photography: Andy Bang Photography www.photography.andybang.com

Dress Designer: Taylor’s Lace Bridal 50 Shades Wedding Magazine | Summer 2013

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Chandra & Aaron Lookout Mountain, GA * October 6th Photography by Innamorata Photography Grandview

Vendor Recipe Photographer: Innamorata Photography www.innamorata.com

Event Planner: Blissful Moments Wedding and Event Planning www.blissfulwed.com

Floral Designer: Divine designs by amanda www.divinedesignsbyamanda.com

Event Venue: The Grandview www.meetatgrandview.com

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Danielle & Malcolm New Bern, NC * October 6th

Photography by Open Aperture Photography New Bern Convention Center

Malcolm and Danielle have an amazing backstory. Danielle is an Air Force veteran and Malcolm is active duty Army. He was at Fort Bragg in Fayetteville, NC at the time of the wedding but he's now at Fort Hood in Killeen, TX.

Vendor Recipe Venue: New Bern Convention Center Photography: Open Aperture Photography www.openapphoto.com

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Malcolm was stationed in an especially volatile area of Afghanistan when a friend of his in the States mentioned his situation to Danielle. She immediately started to send him care packages.

They corresponded back and forth and never met until the end of Malcolm's deployment. He proposed a short time later.

The couple had a destination wedding in New Bern, NC near Danielle's parents' home in Eastern North Carolina..

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Molly & John San Luis Obispo, CA * September 15th Photography bySarah Kathleen Photography

A little something from the bride: "John and I were extremely lucky and honored to be married at his family's vineyard in Templeton, CA. The property is an incredibly special place for us and is where most of our big relationship milestones took place, so getting married there set the stage for a wedding that was very personal from start to finish. A good friend of ours officiated the ceremony, another good friend catered, the wine was made by John's dad, the beer was made by John's uncle, and my dad planned and manned the cigar and Scotch bar. Our main goal in planning the wedding was for it to be romantic and warm and very us! Most of all, we wanted it to be an incredibly fun party for our friends and family who had traveled so far to be there. I think we succeeded! What started off as a nearly unbearably hot 100 degree day turned into one of most beautiful and warm nights we've ever experienced and eating dinner outside under the cafe lights with everyone we love was something we'll never forget. Our first dance, our delicious rosemary lemonade fizz cocktails, the amazing food, the awesome music & extremely energetic dancing.

Everything was perfect from beginning to end.

My advice for brides planning a wedding at a venue that is more or less bare bones like I did?

Start planning early and don't stop! There are a million things to think through that you wouldn't ever need to think about at a real wedding venue: Power generators, porta potties, lighting... the list goes on and on! Also - do something uniquely you and a little unexpected: We surprised our guests with late night karaoke and, given the open bar, it was a big hit!"

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Vendor Recipe Hair Stylist: Hive Beauty Collective www.hivebeauty.com

Event Planner: Sarah Kathleen www.sarahkathleen.com

Photography: Danae Grace Events www.danaegrace.com

Floral Designer: Cambria Pines Nursery www.cabrianursery.com

Makeup Artist: Makeup by Bernadette

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Raina & Ross Richmond, VA * March 9th

Photography by Laura Matthews Photography Old City Bar

Vendor Recipe Venue: Old City Bar Photography: Laura Matthews Photography www.lauramatthewsphotography.com

Event Planner: Events by Elizabeth Palmer www.eventsbyelizabethpalmer.com

Floral Designer: Vogue Flowers & Gifts www.vogueflowers.com

Dress Designer: Brides Against Breast Cancer www.bridesagainstbreastcancer.org

Makeup Artist: Makeup by Holly B Tuxedo and Mens Attire: Mens Wearhouse www com 66 .menswearhouse Shades .Wedding Magazine | Summer 2013

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Sherena & Earnest Hamden, CT * July 22nd

Photography by Abbey Domond Photography

Vendor Recipe Photography: Abbey Domond Photography www.abbeydomondphotography.com

Florist: Stop & Shop Dress: Bridal Trousseau on Main www.bridal-trousseau.net

Cake Designer: JC Cakes www.j-cakes.com 69 Shades Wedding Magazine | Summer 2013

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Power Couple...

Cynthia Bailey & Peter Thomas When you think of celebrities, most people think of hard to work with or diva-like behavior. Well this is not how I would describe Cynthia Bailey and Peter Thomas. On the contrary, this striking couple is personable and down to earth! Cynthia, ever the fashionista still manages to look fashion savvy and comfortable after arriving in Miami on an early morning flight. Peter, who swears by Ferragamo, perfectly complements Cynthia looking just as put together. Arriving on set and after hair and makeup and changing into the selected wears, they breeze through each look, with effortless chemistry this couple simply has “it�. Cynthia and Peter put on no facade. Because even though sometimes they had difference of opinions they are totally into each other!

We sat down with this power couple over lunch to pick their brains on matters concerning holy matrimony.

Photography by Spex Photography Styling by Verinia Galloway Hair by Sasha Revolus Makeup by Kerline Preciles Grooming by Mohashie Rodriguez 72

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On Cynthia: Gown: by Heidi Elnora “Callie Aldridge” (Shoes: Glint “Devyn” Cathedral Veil all provided by Nordstrom Necklace, bracelet, and earrings custom made by Infinity Style Jewelry

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On Peter: Tux and Shirt: Personal tie, hankercheif and cufflinks provided by Dillards

SWM: What do you think the most important element of a marriage?

and my husband against the world. However, I don’t know if I really live true to that. Before I got married it was me against the world.

Then it was me and my daughter against the world.

Now I feel like it’s me, my daughter, and Peter against the world. I never want to lose myself. Because I feel like when I’m at my best then everybody around me can be at their best. When I’m not right and I don’t feel I’m doing Cynthia in the best possible way that I can be doing Cynthia then I feel like the people around me suffer. So I think it all starts with the individual. You know when Peter is at his best then it makes me be at my best. And when he’s not then I’m not. It’s really a balance and I think it works best when it works as a unit. Everybody kinda has to be on top of their game to make a great relationship work. It’s not the husband is this big strong person and he carries the family. I think the wife has to be equally as strong.

Cynthia: Friendship Peter: Honesty SWM: Ok that was easy.

Well with your busy schedules how do you make your family work?

Cynthia: Well it’s not easy, that’s the first thing. And with that question you assume that it actually works [laughs]...it’s a work in progress. I’m constantly trying to figure out ways to balance my family life and my schedule. But I’m at a point in my career right now where I kinda have to put it first. I don’t know if in 5 years I’m going to have the opportunities that I’m having right now. So with respect to my family, everything I’m doing is for my family. All the moves I’m making now is to provide for my family. Family is definitely first but my career is definitely a priority in my life. It’s a sacrifice to be successful, and to really work it like it needs to be and to be a smart business woman. You pray that ever thing is still intact when you have time to really focus on it.

Peter: Try to do the best you can. With our schedule our days are unpredictable so there’s no set schedule. Try and make it work the best you can. Try to make time for your family. It’s a little tougher for me than Cynthia because my stepdaughter actually lives in the house with us. But I also have two kids that are under 18 so I have to travel.

I have to travel between Miami, New York, and LA so I’m always on a plane. So I try to make time and if I can’t be there then I try to Skype or call them.

SWM: Ok so would you say that when you get married it’s you and your mate against the world or does your family play a part in your marriage?

Peter: Family is really tricky, we probably think not too differently but a little bit different because we were raised differently. My parents have been married for 55 years and I was raised with both mother and father. However, I really don’t involve them in my life.Once I became an adult and lived on my own, I never asked for their opinion in any decision that I made in my life. And that’s just the way that I am built.

Cynthia in my opinion is a little closer with her family because it’s her mom and her sister and her little brother. It’s just different dynamics.

But I don’t involve my family in any decisions in my life, especially with my wife at all, zero. I don’t want their opinion in either direction, good or bad.

Cynthia: Well in terms of being married I think | it Summer should be me 74

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Peter: I believe in that.

Cynthia: Because there are times he needs me and there are times when I need him. And I don’t think it’s fair for him to have to carry that. I’m not a damsel in distress. I don’t look at him like my knight in shining armor. I DO NOT feel like I’m a princess. I’ve worked hard my whole life so I resent the word princess because that was just not my life. All I’ve ever done was work. With that said, I think that’s what he likes about me. That if he has a day when he has to drop the ball then he knows I can pick it up. And I think that’s what it’s all about. It’s not about me depending on him to make it all happen or him depending on me.

SWM: We all have seen your wedding on Real Housewives of Atlanta. Your dress was beautiful, how did you choose it?

Cynthia: I’m not a traditional woman nor was I a traditional bride.

The great thing about having my modeling/fashion background is in New York is I know a ton of creative people. And they are way better at figuring out the whole fashion thing than I am. My best friend is celebrity stylist Kithe Brewster and I basically turned it over to him. I said I don’t want to wear a white dress. That’s the only thing I knew I didn’t want to do. There’s no real reason, I just didn’t think it was that interesting looking. Wearing a colored dress would just be more suited for my personality. I don’t really follow trends, I consider myself a trendsetter. I saw the dress about three days before the wedding, and that was for the fitting.

Other page - Gown: Matthew Christopher “I feel Pretty” Headband and Necklace all provided by Nordstrom Ths Page - Gown: by Heidi Shoes: Glint “Devyn” Cathedral Veil all provided by Nordstrom Necklace, bracelet, and earrings custom made by Infinity Style Jewelry

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SWM: Speaking of your wedding let’s talk budget. In your experience is it important to stick to the budget?

Peter: It's extremely important! You don't want to go over budget because you'll be paying for it and arguing about for the next 12 months. You might think big is fabulous but the best wedding is just you, the person you're marrying and the pastor.

SWM: [Laughs]You sound just like my husband!

Peter: You don't need anybody else there, no one else, you really don't. The rest is just costing you money and [the guests] they don't like you anyway. And if you really think about it you don't really like them either. So I believe in eloping and getting it done.

SWM: Yes I actually wish I would've done that.

Cynthia: I think that, in terms of the budget, I think that it's a waste of money to spend a whole lot on a wedding. I think if you're going to be married to someone and be with them I think I'd rather have a wedding within a budget that made sense.

Spend the money on a nice honeymoon, a nice car; renovate a room in your house. Spend it on something you can actually enjoy because a wedding is one day and then it's over.

Peter: Yeah and then you're going to be paying for it for 12 months.

SWM: Advice. Do you have any for the newly engaged or married couples out there?

Cynthia: Don’t try and change each other because people don’t change once you get married. Know who you married and accept them for who they are.

Peter: Yeah I agree.

Cynthia: If you don't like them dating them then you won't like them once you marry them.

Peter: And people always think, yeah I'm going to change that about them, they are so strongly mistaken. It's not going to happen. Especially when you're over 40 years old. We got married over 40, she had just turned 42 and I was 49, so therefore there was no changing in our personalities. It is what it is. Either you can live with it or you can't. It's that simple.

Cynthia: Right and I also believe that the same thing that attracts you to someone is the same thing you may not like about them in the end. But whatever it was about that person that made you interested in them why would you want them to change that? I find that a lot of times in relationships, the guys that kinda go for me [and] the very thing that they are attracted to makes them feel insecure once they get me. It don’t work like that. If you can't handle it please go and date someone hat can make you feel comfortable. I'm not always going to make you comfortable. If being me makes you uncomfortable, then you shouldn't be with me. Now what else is going on [laughs]...?

To stay up to date on their journey you can follow them on twitter @cynthiabailey10 and @peterthomasrhoa. Cynthia and Peter has a coming out month “Carry-On Baggage” make sure you look|out for it 76later thisShades Wedding Magazine Summer

2013

OO n Cynthia: n Cynthia:

Nhe ordGown: by Lela Rose “T BatV eil from N ord - and Birdcage headpiece strom bridal; by Custom made clip provided Nordstrom xxxxxxxx dress from strom tery�;

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hankercheif and and cufflinks tie, hankercheif cufflinks from Dillards provided

by Dillards

From His Heart Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret. If you answered yes to the title question I am sure you have realized the truth in this quote by Ambrose Bierce. In order to gain control over your tongue you must be determined to see things differently. People who lose their temper tend to view life in a negative and judgmental way. You have the ability to direct your mind away from angry and upset feelings. You need to realize that you can have peace of mind instead of conflict.

This article will cover a variety of mindsets and behaviors that will teach you how to keep your mouth shut when you Dont be double minded. You cant have peace of mind and conflict at the same time. Be clearly focused on the outcome that you want. (Example: I want to go to bed tonight feeling close to my partner.).

You cant be right and be married. You have to decide Do you want to be right or do you want to be married? Trying to are angry. Be quick to listen and slow to speak. Remember that you have two ears and only one mouth.

Use them in this proportion. Its better to be a good listener than to be a good speaker. Listen carefully to what the other person has to say. Take your time before giving them an answer.be right will destroy the connection between you. Instead, strive to do the right thing.

Dont jump to conclusions. Slow down and think through the situation. Dont say the first thing that comes into your head. I often hear people say, I cannot keep from saying the thoughts I have. You can and you must. As I was writing this, my daughter reminded me of Thumpers quote in the movie, Bambi. If you cant say something nice dont say nothing at all. This is always good advice.

Dont overreact to criticism. Beneath the criticism is an underlying message. Criticism is a smoke screen for deeper feelings. I compare criticism to cheese on a mousetrap. What happens when the mouse takes the cheese? He gets his tail caught in the trap. Thats what happens when you take the bait of criticism. Dont take the bait. Listen for the underlying message.

Stay away from negative thoughts and statements like, I hate this! This is driving me crazy! I cant stand this! These types of statements are like throwing gasoline on a fire. You are making it much more intense. Replace these with positive declarations such as I can handle this. This is not that big of a deal. I have unshakeable peace of mind. Nothing bothers me. Your thoughts will direct your emotions. Choose positive thoughts that help you keep your peace.

If someone uses absolute terms like always, never, everybody, and nobody; dont take them literally. These are emotional terms. If your wife says You never take me anywhere. and you know thats not true; dont take it as a personal attack. Try and hear her underlying request that she needs to know she is special and she wants to spend some time with you.

Dont overreact and dont give advice too quickly. This only trains people not to be open with you.

Dont try to get in the last word. Its not worth the damage you could do by trying to win or be heard.

If you are angry repeat this scripture based verse in your head, In all things be self controlled. Say it over and over so that you don’t get derailed into an argument.

Do You Have Trouble Keeping Your Mouth Shut?

Written by: Mark Webb most likely is not going to help solve the problem and may actually make the matter worse. Calmness will help you get to the heart of the matter. This leads to conflict resolution. Trying to be right or show your might will lead to conflict. Staying connected is more important than making your point.

The only one who is responsible for the way your life works out is you. You cannot change the past, but you can take responsibility for your future. All it takes is a decision. Decide to live a life of discipline rather than one of regret.

Remember that discipline weighs ounces and regret weighs tons. Develop the power of a tamed tongue.

Mark Webb is the author of How To Be a Great Partner and founder of PartThere is life and death in the spoken word. Make sure your words build ner Focused Relationships?. Sign up for Mark Webbs Relationship Strategies people up versus tearing them down. Remember to breathe. Stick with the Ezine ($100 value). Just visit his website at http://www.powerfulrelationshibasics. When you are upset, take a few deep breaths. Strive to use an appadvice.com proach that promotes honor and respect. This can make the difference between a twenty minute argument and a 3 day war.

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FINANCE

Business for TWO By: Nicole Ronczyk

W

hen you and your mate said, “I do” you agreed to become partners in life. In this partnership you play different roles such as co-parent, lover, co-managers, and work-out buddy...just to name a few. Consider the option in becoming co-worker/co-owners. Of course there are those who couldn’t fathom working with their significant other, which we can respect. However, your life partner should be the closest thing to you. This is the one person that you share your dreams, aspirations, fears, and finances with. At least they should be.

With that being said, your spouse may very well be the best business partner that you can have! Given that marriage in and of itself is a full time job, we’d like to give you some tips on becoming successful partners in business and in love.

1.Define your role: It is pertinent that you recognize that you both bring something valuable to the table. Identify each others strengths and weaknesses. While your partner may be a whiz in accounting, he may have difficulties with organization. No need to get discouraged by this. You represent the other puzzle piece and line up your strong suits to complement him and vice versa. Role definition must be established early to avoid conflicts.

Remember, you are traveling in the same direction, there is no need to cut each other off. Stay in your lane! Most importantly, be accountable in your ‘position’. You are called to be your partner’s help-meet, not a hindrance. Just because your business partner is your sweetheart, that does not give you a pass to slack off on your duties. Knowing that your production has a direct affect on your partners mood and station in life should drive you to give your best at all times!

2.Set Goals: Now that you can appreciate one another’s working style, you must set goals. Ultimately you’d like to leave a legacy for your children and/or the ones you love. How do you plan on accomplishing that? By sharing your expectations, deadlines, and(complete and honest) information you alleviate the off chance of ‘misunderstandings’. Your partnership in business should not cause you unnecessary stress or grief which can easily spill over to your home life. Keep lines of communication open so that you can track the progress of meeting your short-term and long term goals even if they must be amended.

3.Set up boundaries: Successfully navigating through life as partners in life and in business can be very tricky. It is of the utmost importance that you do this. Develop a schedule of some sort and follow it! As it states in Ecclesiastes 3:1, “There is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven.”

Even the Lord, rested on the 7th day. These should be perfect indicators that becoming a workaholic is not good for you or your relationship. Keep ‘office hours’ even if you’re working from home. Include other boundaries such as a work-free zone, such as the bedroom and the kitchen table. Another boundary to keep in mind is your personal boundary. Spending every waking moment together can pose some challenges. When you met, you were individuals with your own hobbies, interests, and friends. It is important that you maintain some of that. Whether it comes in the form of “Me Time” at the spa, “Guys Night” with the boys, or just going to the gym; carving out this time is imperative. At the end of the day you are working on building a comfortable lifestyle. Do not make it more challenging by aggravating one another.

As with anything worth having in life, it takes hard work and dedication to achieve the desired outcome. Who better to share this experience with than the love of your life? Be encouraged and good luck!

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RECIPE

Cooking with

The Neelys

By sharing their passion for love, food, family, and business Pat and Gina Neely were chosen as one of Shades Wedding Magazine’s Quintessential Power Couple! The pair were high school sweethearts who became reacquainted at their ten year high school reunion. Sparks flew and that was the start of a beautiful partnership! Patrick Neely comes from a long line of barbecue restaurateurs so it was only befitting that he and his bride teamed up to upgrade the family business to one of the most successful barbecue joints in the region!

The Tennessee natives balance their roles of parents, lovers, co-hosts, and business owners effortlessly. While the family recipes are that of Patrick and his family, Gina oversees the catering division as well as the marketing of seasoning and paraphernalia which contributes to over a quarter of the family restaurant’s total revenue. The pair oversee 2 restaurants in Memphis, Tennessee and co-own Neely’s BBQ Parlor in New York. They were ‘discovered’ when their restaurant in Nashville appeared on Road Tasted, a show which appeared on The Food Network Channel. Since then the pair has hosted their own shows, landed a huge endorsement from Kraft, and co-authored a book while raising a beautiful family! Pat’s charisma and Gina’s southern girl charm keep us interested in all that this Power Couple has to offer!

If you’d like to get a sample of the Neely’s southern style cuisine look no further! While we’d love for you to patronize one of this beautiful couples establishments, we have provided a simple recipe that is a staple at the restaurant. The Neely’s BBQ Pulled Pork Egg rolls will certainly be a hit at your next date night picnic!

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BBQ Pulled Pork Ingredients: 1 (2-pound) pork butt Kosher salt and freshly cracked black pepper

about 2 hours. Remove the pan from the oven and let it cool slightly before shredding. Shred the meat in the Dutch oven, using 2 forks, so the meat can absorb more of the flavors of the cooking liquid. Let cool.

For the dipping sauce: While the pork cooks, mix all the dipping sauce ingredients together in a small bowl. The sauce can be stored in the refrigerator for up to 3 days in a tightly covered container.

Egg Rolls Ingredients: Peanut oil, for frying 1 egg, beaten, for egg wash 1 tablespoon water 10 egg roll wrappers 1 pint coleslaw (recommended: Neely’s Sweet and Spicy Coleslaw) Directions In a deep-fryer or heavy-bottomed pot, heat enough peanut oil to come halfway up the sides of the pot, to 350 degrees F.

1 tablespoon smoked paprika

Beat the egg and water together in a small bowl. Reserve.

1/2 cup Neely's BBQ sauce, plus more for drizzling and serving

Unwrap the egg roll wrappers. Brush the edges with the egg wash and set them on your work surface with the triangle edges pointing towards you. Divide some of the pork among the lower third of the wrappers.

Top the pork evenly with the coleslaw. Fold the bottom portion of the wrapper over the filling. Fold both the edges inwards and roll the wrapper up completely. Press on the open flaps to firmly secure the rolls, then set them aside, seam side down.

1/2 cup apple juice 2 tablespoons apple cider vinegar 1 dash hot sauce (recommended: Tabasco) 1 dash Worcestershire sauce 1 dash soy sauce Peach Dipping Sauce: 3/4 cup peach preserves 3 tablespoons rice wine vinegar 2 tablespoons Dijon mustard 1 tablespoon grated ginger 1 teaspoon red pepper flakes Directions Preheat the oven to 325 degrees F. Season the pork butt with salt, pepper and the smoked paprika.

Add the meat to a small Dutch oven along with the BBQ sauce, apple juice, vinegar, hot sauce, Worcestershire and soy sauce. Cover the pot tightly with its lid and put it in the oven until the pork is extremely tender,

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Add the egg rolls, in batches, to the deep-fryer and fry, flipping with tongs, until they are crisp and golden brown, about 2 minutes. Remove them from deep-fryer and let drain on a paper towel-lined sheet tray.

Transfer the rolls to a serving platter and serve hot along with the peach dipping sauce.

TRAVEL

By: Nicole Ronczyk We decided to feature Greece as our summer getaway. Why you ask? Well this beautiful country can certainly serve as beautiful backdrop for your honeymoon or a family vacation! So get your passports, camera’s, and sweetheart in hand!

Our first stop is the island of Mykonos, one of Greece’s most visited destinations. With that being said we advise that you travel during off peak time in the Spring or Fall to save on money and avoid the crowd. Upon arrival we’re sure that you’ll be more than ready to sample the local fare. When in Greece, you eat as they do. Trust us they eat WELL!! The main staples of the Greek diet is comprised of olives, cheeses, grapes and lamb.

Nosh on Calamari and sip the popular Santorini wine in a local restaurant while you plan out your next trek. Whether you wish to take a dip or indulge in a little adventure such as windsurfing, Myknos has the perfect spot! Agrari beach is the perfect locale to unwind with your beau. The soft sand and beautiful weather make this a breathtakingly beautiful venue seem like the setting of a romance novel indeed! Ornos Beach is ideal for the adventurous couple who wish to take on a plethora of water activities that are offered to visitors. However, If you and your mate seek risque adventure the island can definitely provide that as well! Paradise Beach is certainly not for the timid, as nudity and partying is so prevalent in this area! Considering that you may be visiting Mykonos for your honeymoon we suggest another locale with just as much appeal.

As previously mentioned Santorini wine is a very popular in Greece. This delicious white wine is produced locally in the archipelago of Santorini. Santorini is a very popular locale for destinations weddings and honeymoons due to it’s abundance of hotels, historical sites, and hospitable hosts. Located on the southern Aegean Sea, Santorini is also home to an active volcano so keep your running shoes near!

History buffs will fall in love with Athens! Located on the mainland, Athens is home to the Acropolis Museum and is notably one of the worlds oldest cities. The Temple of Athena Nike, The Erechtheion, and The Parthenon are just a few must see historical sites of Classical Greece. There are also a plethora of Byzantine landmarks waiting to be visited by you and your ‘study partner’. When you’re done sight-seeing take advantage of the world class shopping, dining and nightlife that Athens has to offer. Greece certainly is a picturesque locale that we would suggest for you to visit for that much-needed vacation or honeymoon. Just remember to take time to savor each other’s company. Isn’t that really what the time away is all about?

For more information or assistance creating an itenerary visit http://www.greecetravel.com/create-an-itinerary/

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Greece

PLANNING

Wedding Timeline 12 MONTHS AHEAD

• Select the date for your wedding

• Consult with your fiance & all parents to

determine the financial support available to you

& set a budget

• Determine with your fiance the type of

wedding you want (Formal, informal, Small, Large)

• Determine the number of guest you will have

• Select and reserve Ceremony site

• Select an officiant for the ceremony

• Select & reserve Reception site

10-12 MONTHS AHEAD

• Arrange for families to meet (if they haven’t already)

• Begin shopping for gown & Accessories

• Order Gown

• Start preparing the guest list

• Choose wedding party attendants

• Select and order wedding attendants wedding attire

• Research review & select your photographer

• Research review & select your videographer

• Send save the date cards

• Get your engagement photo taken 8-10 MONTHS AHEAD

• Select & reserve the caterer

• Select & reserve the decorator

• Select & reserve the florist

• Select & reserve the party rental equipment

• Determine wedding cake design; select & re

serve a baker or bakery

• Select & reserve musician for ceremony

• Select & reserve music/entertainment for the reception

• Select & reserve transportation for the wedding party

• Plan the details of the reception

• Begin shopping for wedding rings

• Discuss honeymoon plans with fiance & begin arrangements 83

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6-8 MONTHS AHEAD

• Order invitations, announcements, informal

Stationary & thank you notes

• Register for wedding gifts at one to three stores

• Reserve accommodations for out-of-town guests

• Reserve transportation for out-of-town guests

to travel to/from the ceremony & reception

• Finalize honeymoon plans with fiance

(Finalize arrangements, check passports/visas) 4-6 MONTHS AHEAD

• Select & order men’s formal wear

• Reserve accommodations for wedding night

• Select stylist or salon for bridal party hair, nails

& make-up

• Meet with florist to plan details

• Select & purchase wedding guest favors

• Select and Hire calligrapher if needed

• Begin dance lessons with fiance

• Find & reserve your rehearsal dinner location

• Finalize guest list 2-4 MONTHS AHEAD

• Confirm delivery dates for bridal gown &

bridesmaids’ dresses

• Meet with caterer to discuss menu

• Meet with officiant to discuss ceremony

• Select ceremony music, reading & vows

• Schedule ceremony rehearsal & notify partici pants

• Buy & Wrap gifts for wedding party

• Address wedding invitations

• Buy wedding accessories & order engraving 1-2 MONTHS AHEAD

• Schedule final fitting for your gown

• Remind bridesmaids to schedule final fittings

• Get your marriage license

• Mail invitations

• Prepare printed program for ceremony

• Start seating plan and place cards for reception

• Plan pre-wedding luncheon for bridesmaids

• Confirm ceremony & reception details

• Assign wedding day task to friends

• Confirm request lists with photographer, musi

cians/DJ & Videographer

• Purchase wedding Accessories (guest book &

pen, toasting glasses, unity candle, cake knife &

server, and flower/ring bearer accessories)

• Pick up wedding rings & check engraving

• Record gifts received & write thank you notes promptly

• Schedule prewedding manicure/pedicure,

massage & Spa treatments 2-4 WEEKS AHEAD

•Arrange for cleaning & preservation of wedding

gown after wedding

•Arrange for bridal bouquet preservation after wedding

•Confirm honeymoon arrangements

•Confirm arrangements for attire & accessories of

all Wedding party members

•Assist Fiance with writing toasts for rehearsal din

ner & wedding reception

•Follow up with guests who didn’t respond to the

invite & finish seating chart/place cards

•Confirm final guest count to caterer & reception facility 1 WEEK AHEAD

• Make final contact with baker, caterer, florist, mu

sician DJ, Photographer, Videographer

• Make final preparations for honeymoon

• Confirm wedding-day assignments with family & friends

• Confirm time/location for rehearsal dinner

& Wedding with wedding party participants

• Confirm pick-up times/locations with

transportation Providers

• Put fees due on the wedding day in envelopes

• Host bridesmaids luncheon DAY OF THE WEDDING

• Rings & marriage license

• Bride’s wedding attire

• Grooms wedding Attire

• Ring Bearer pillow/flower girl basket

• Wedding programs

• Cake knife & server, toasting flutes

• Favors 84

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• Guest book & pen • Unity candle • Pay officiant & vendors • Assign person to collect/transport gifts

AFTER THE WEDDING

• Return rental attire

• Have wedding gown cleaned & preserved

• Have bridal bouquet preserved

• Freeze the top layer of your cake to enjoy on

your One-year anniversary

• Record gifts received & write thank you notes

promptly within 2 months

• Develop photos from disposable cameras NOTES:

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