Winter Issue 2014

50 Shades of Boudoir Just in time for Valentine’s day! Be inspired by our featured boudoir shoot.

Enitan Bereola II 1

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Features Engaged 14

Chizoba & Isioma

Photographer: Krystal Kenny Photography

Featured Weddings 50

Nadine &Adam

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Janeria & steven

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Julissa & Luis

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Jamil & Michael

Photographer: Lash to Lens

Photographer: Abbey Bradshaw Photography

Photographer: Pigna Toledo Photography

Photographer: stacy Bishop Photography

I n e v e ry i s s u e

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Love Note Style me Chic Planning

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C

o n t e n t s

Features 20

Comic Releif

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50 shades of Boudior

66 One-on-One with

Enitan Bereola II

Departments 12 Big Day Beauty

Your wedding, your write to passage 34 What

Men Want

Details 36 Be Inspired...

41 Have your Cake and eat it too

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Fashion

Black by Vera Wang

70 From His Heart Is making love a form of celebration for your Marriage?

71 Finance When is a good time to purchase life insurance?

Recipe

Cooking with Chef RLI 72

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Travel Destination One Bal Harbour

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Behind The Scenes Feature shoot

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Verinia Galloway (Fashion Editor)

Founder and Editorial Director Lakeisha Griffin

Graduating Magna Cum Laude from AIU with a BA in Fashion Design and Marketing, Verinia is a wife, mother,and lover of all things fashion. The owner of Beautistic LLC, a Fashion/Marketing and Beauty Consulting Firm, she keeps her finger on the pulse of what’s trending in today’s fashion business.

Executive Director Lisa Church

In addition to being a business owner she is the Fashion Editor for Shades Wedding Magazine and sits on the board of the Makeva Harold Foundation, a charity based out of West Palm Beach, FL that strives to gives better opportunities to the less fortunate. Family, successful business ventures and opportunities to give back,Verinia believes she can have it all! Check out her insights on everything fashion in Street Fashions and Accessories on shadesmag.net.

Kobe Ellis

Fashion Editor Verinia Galloway Beauty Editor

Contributing Writers Nicole Ronczyk Shankie Williams Contributing Photographer AJ Shorter Photography

For more information contact (954) 558-6249 Info@shadesmag.net sales@shadesmag.net www.shadesmag.net

Kobe Ellis (Beauty Editor) In 2003, in effort to support her two young sons as a single mother, Kobe Ellis conceived the business idea to share her unique technique for applying Eyelash Extensions with the Jacksonville, Florida community while completing her college education at the University of North Florida.

She named the company Eyes By Kobe. Since its inception, the company has continued to flourish and Miss Ellis has herself become internationally known as an Eyelash Extension and Brow Shaping Guru in the beauty industry. Kobe is now an international speaker and has amounted a rather discerning clientele.

Kobe has since opened a EBK Beauty LifeSTYLE Salon & Demi Spa which is noted for its array of “Look Great, Feel Great” services focusing on Lash Extensions, Brow Sculpting (Threading & Waxing), High Quality hair sales, Hair Replacements and Expert Hair Extension techniques.

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Man of the Year 2014 Volume 4, Issue 1

Shades Wedding Magazine Copyright 2014 All Rights Reserved NO PART OF THIS PUBLICATION MAY BE REPRODUCED OR TRANSMITTED IN ANY FORM OR ANY MEANS, ELECTRONIC, MECHANICAL, PHOTOCOPYING, RECORDING, OR OTHERWISE, WITHOUT THE PUBLISHER’S PRIOR WRITTEN PERMISSION. PRINTED IN THE U.S.A. Find @SHADESWEDMAG on

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Publishers Note

B

eing married means more than just wearing a diamond ring and having a beautiful wedding. Remember there is life after the wedding! Before you say “YES” you need to make sure this is the person YOU want to spend the rest of your life with. Now I am very aware of the tribulations that can occur that can shake up a marriage down the road. Sometimes situations can cause people to change then you must do what’s best for you. But I’m not talking about those situations, take Kim Kardashian for instance. She had doubts before she walked down the aisle but she went ahead with it because “She didn’t want to disappoint anyone”. Now I’m not trying to steer anyone from getting married. I love weddings and everything they represent. Just be certain that you marry for LOVE and not for fashion. Everyday won’t be fun but with love you can weather the storm together. In the vows it says“To have and to hold from this day forward, for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health” to me this is the most important part.

So when he gets on one knee and asks you to marry him and you say yes, your journey begins. It’s a beautiful thing to find Love but once you find it hold on to it. While you’re dancing the night away at your reception with all your family and friends, glance across the room and find your husband/wife and whisper, “I will love you from this day forward!”

Congratulations on your

Big Day!

We’ve been blessed to enter another year. You can hardly believe that this year went by so quickly! Just to think you still have a ton of planning to do, right? Certainly time slows for no woman, no matter how fabulous the event she is planning. However, you certainly can slow your strut. It is so easy to get caught up and forget about HIM. Take some time to enjoy your gift-your lover, your friend, your husband-to-be!

Beloved, this is just the beginning and we want to make sure that you start off on the right foot. This issue we challenge couples to place just as much emphasis on the masculine details of the big day as the feminine. We don’t want him to just show up, we want him to be PRESENT! The best way to acheive this is to invite him. This issue speaks to the heart of the husband-to-be. We’ve covered everything! Men are visual creatures, why not surprise him with a boudoir shoot? Are you still looking for the perfect gift for him? Well great news, we know what he really wants!! In addition to that we have an awesome one-on-one with friend of Shades, Enitan Bereola along with our staple gems. So grab your honey and present him with Shades Wedding Magazine Men’s Issue!

As Always, Be Inspired!

And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony.

Colossians 3:14

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Editors Note

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Photography by: David Watkins Photography * Decor: Ala Flowers & Exquisite Affaires Remembered

BIG DAY GROOMING

Your Wedding, Your Rite of Passage By: Kobe Ellis

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For the most part, grooms tend to unilaterally withdraw from most wedding planning because they see it as frilly, overly pink and bride-focused. Some grooms have a desire to participate but aren’t quite sure of their roles and just how to prepare for the big event.

The focus of this article is to help men figure out how to better prepare and participate in what could be considered a Rite of Passage. After all, in some religions, weddings are not the “Bride’s Big Day” but a man’s public display to his family and friends that he has made the decision to commit to a woman for the rest of his life.

- Arrange transportation from the ceremony to the reception for the entire wedding party. REMEMBER – the transportation for you and the bride must be separate from the party because you arrived at the ceremony separately but you will be leaving the ceremony and arriving at the reception together as a married couple. How you arrive to the ceremony is not as important as the transportation for you and your new wife to and from the reception.

As a prospective groom, it is best lock your mind around the idea that your bride-to-be has been dreaming of this day for the most of her life and although she may be willing to accept taking on the bulk of the responsibility, be very clear, the production of a wedding is not a One-Woman-Show. She will need your help. So, lets begin by defining the minimal roles expected of a groom. You are expected to keep a leveled head throughout the process, be patient, dedicated, give your opinion when asked and willing to put in plenty of hard work.

- Purchase a gift for your groomsmen.

There are many major decisions the two of you should make together.

When done together, they help to create more memories and a stronger bond between the two of you:

- Set the wedding budget and size (creating a guest list can be quite a task).

- Set the wedding date and location (this can sometimes be anything but simple).

- Decide on the officiant.

- Book your reception site and plan the menu.

- Design invitations.

- Mail out invitations.

- Hire photographer and or videographer.

- Create a gift registry.

- Plan the honeymoon.

- Arrange for accommodations for out-of-town guests. (The bride may want to participate in this).

- Purchase a gift for your bride-to-be.

- Obtain a marriage license.

- Plan the rehearsal dinner.

- Prepare your speech for the reception.

When it comes to your personal aesthetics, here are a few things you may want to give attention to: - Hair care. It is very important that you have decided on the look that best suits your overall wedding theme and attire. A great idea is to try out a few different styles. If you do not already have one, do your research, ask around for a great stylist or barber. At your consult, explain the wedding theme, your attire and your thoughts on what you desire. He or she will through in a dash of professional opinion and experience and viola! It is best to try out a few different looks so start about 4 months out from the wedding. A little longer if you are growing your hair out.

- Manicure and Pedicure. A great Mani & Pedi are essential to your appearance on the BIG DAY. Never minimize the necessity. As an advocate of nail salon safety and adhering to OSHA regulations, I strongly suggest that you bring your own bowls and grooming tools or find a nail salon, spa or private nail tech who uses disposable bowls or tub liners NOT community massage chairs with drains. Although they are comfortable, they are hazardous to your health as there is no way to keep them 100% sanitary. Google the horror stories and statistics for yourself. The same applies to tools of the trade.

- Teeth Whitening. Just when you think its not necessary, IT IS. A There are however a few duties which belong solely to you, the groom.

This is your time to shine. Through these duties, you get to show your excitement, commitment and creativity. Make each decision wisely, make the most of every situation and have fun!

clean and healthy looking smile begins with the color of your teeth.

Some merely need to purchase whitening strips from the local drug store. Others need professional attention. Invest the time and money, the long term affects are priceless. You will be happy you did it and so will your bride-to-be; every time she looks at your new smile on the wedding photos.

- Choose your wedding attendants (selecting a best man should be a well thought out decision).

- Select the wedding attire for you and the male attendants (Ring barer, best man and groomsmen). Make sure that everyone measured early.

Even those who are long distance.

- Arrange transportation to and the wedding ceremony for the entire party.

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Now that you are equipped with ways to help this major event in your life go smoothly, march forth my dear groom and shine during YOUR RITE OF PASSAGE!

Engaged!

Chizoba & Isioma Photographer: Krystal Kenney Paris Photography

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STYLE ME CHIC

Men’s Edition

There is a new and growing trend in Men’s fashion. Gone are the days of the bride choosing what her groom will look like! We are seeing more and more men taking charge of their look for their big day! Here are a few examples of men taking charge and letting their personalities be seen. Whether you’re on trend, conservative or a little more daring, adding a little here and changing a little there brings your voice to your fashion!

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STYLE ME CHIC

WHO SAYS TRADITION IS DEAD?!

THE TUXEDO...STILL A CLASSIC.

A ELEGANT WATCH ROUNDS OUT THIS LOOK NICELY BUT IT’S OK TO BE A LITTLE ADVENTUROUS WITH YOUR SOCKS. GO AHEAD...

NO ONE WILL KNOW!

TRADITION MEETS WHAT’S HOT! SETTING YOURSELF APART CAN BE SUBTLE AND STILL MAKE A STATEMENT!

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STYLE ME CHIC

DON’T BE AFRAID OF PATTERNS! WHEN DONE CORRECTLY THEY CAN MAKE A BOLD STATEMENT!

ONE OF A KIND ACCESSORIES & BOUTONIERES CAN DEFINITELY SET YOU APART!

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C o m i c R e l e i f Finally! All the planning is done and has come to fruition (for the most part). The rings have been exchanged, tears have been dried, and now it’s time to reflect and relax. Who do you trust to entertain your guests as you sneak off for fresh air and stolen moments? Consider a comedian! Shades Wedding Magazine sat down with the hilarious Plus Pierre-Louis to discuss the new hosting trend.

SWM:

We’re loving this trend of having comedians host weddings. Why do you think it’s popularity has taken off?

best man and Maid/Matron of Honor during speech time, and that all the essential reception activities happen in a timely fashion.

Because once you’ve have this kind of experience, it’s tough to go back to letting Uncle Leroy host your ceremony. Sometimes things don’t go as planned on the wedding day, you need someone to be able to roll with the punches and keep your guests entertained, engaged and occupied and that’s a part of a comedian’s job description. Weddings are happy occasions, so everyone’s in a great mood and you want someone who will maintain that.

SWM: Do you work in conjunction with the DJ? Prefer your own?

SWM: What information, if any do you want to know about the bride and groom prior to the ceremony?

The more information, the better!! I love to know where/ how they met. The duration of their relationship. Aaaaaany funny or embarrassing stories; maybe even stories about the couple overcoming something major. If the person who first introduced the bride and groom is present, you always want to know who they are. Those make for great “I knew it all along” moments.. I want to know if there’s anything you DON’T want me to say; everyone’s view of funny is different and I want to treat my guests with the utmost respect.

SWM: What does “Hosting” entail? How does it differ from any other stand-up gig?

Hosting entails keeping your guests in the know, keeping them happy, entertained, and making sure my bride and groom aren’t lifting a finger! It’s their day!!!

However, with stand up, I want all the attention solely on me, I say whatever I want and the microphone makes me unpredictable so I tend to veer off when telling jokes lol.

With a wedding, the focus is my bride and groom, although I can venture off a little to make sure the guests are engaged and are able to feel special, I have to make sure the attention stays on the bride and groom. Also, my focus is making sure that everyone’s introduced properly, the crowd respects the 20 Shades Wedding Magazine | Winter 2014

I do prefer to work with my own DJ. That way I know for sure that everything will go smoothly because my DJ and I are in sync and I trust that the quality of the sound will be it’s best. You want to make sure your DJ has CLEAN, fun music. He definitely has to have the wedding essentials (a wedding without the electric slide, isn’t a wedding at all).

You also want a smart DJ, someone who can read the room and play the appropriate kind of music. You cannot make a room full of church folk do the Dougie, believe me, I’ve tried. The bride and groom should provide a track list; there’s a soundtrack to every relationship, and having a track list will make your experience magical. In the same breath, make sure that there isn’t any songs in the tracklist that you don’t want to hear.

SWM: It takes more than just a comic to host, how should a couple screen for this important job?

You want someone with wedding experience. Having someone who’s successfully navigated a few weddings before takes a load off of your wedding planner, because NO ONE likes an angry wedding planner. Find someone who’s going to make you and your guests feel special!!! Ask if they can provide clean entertainment and also ask for references.

Don’t let your ceremony be an experiment lol. If possible, let your host attend your wedding rehearsals. I also like to know how pronounce names, and meet who I’m introducing.

As all brides and grooms want the events surrounding their wedding to be memorable. We are certain that having a comedian host your shower or wedding will help you to acheive just that. Please do not wait to book this professional funny man! He may be contacted at PlusComedy@gmail. com. Tell him Shades Wedding Magazine sent you!

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50

Boudoir

Shades of

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What Men want...

When it comes to finding that special gift for that special man in your life, some of us find it quite taxing. So what do you get the man who you think has everything? Here are a few ideas that don’t include your traditional tie or cologne.

The Busk Stops Here Turntable Modcloth.com: $179.99 34

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Boxer Briefs w/ Adjustable Pouch ufmunderwear.com $24.95

*Tickets to his favorite sporting event!

Working Man’s Hygiene Kit Uncommongoods.com $50.00

Gifts He’ll Love!

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DETAILS

Be

Inspired...

Featuring designs from

Exquisite Affaires by: Ana Stenkoler

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Have your cake and eat it too!

Photo Huffingtonpost.com 41 Credit: Shades Wedding Magazine | Winter 2014

42 by: Shades Wedding Magazine | Winter 2014 Photo by: DamonTucci TucciPhotography Photography Photo Damon

Photo Credit: iweddingworld.com

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Photo Credit: truephotography.com

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Photo Credit: cakecouturebytrina.com

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Photo Credit: thecakezone.com

Designing weddings that dreams are made of

r e am D D

e sig n

W

eddings

&

E

vents

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Wedding Planning

Event Design

Coordination

Custom Decor

MIAMI - PALM BEACH - ATLANTA - DC Destination Weddings Worldwide 888-478-6534

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As seen on

www.munaluchibridal.com

R R

FALL.WINTER 2011

FASHION

Pantora

Andrea Pitter was launched in 2009. The brand focuses on providing clasThe designs produced by Pantora Inc. accommodate even the most discerning of clients. Andrea approaches her craft from a studious perspective, researching fashion from different eras, gaining inspiration from people of different walks of life. Her love of designing special clothing is not just reflected in her ready to wear line but also in her love for bridal wear. All pieces are made individually in the company studio right here in fashionably noted New York City, and are shipped to our beloved clients all over the world. The Pantora woman is confident, daring and is comfortable in her skin, constantly pushing the envelope in fun, versatile and functional fashion. created by designer

sic pieces with a modern angle.

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Nadine & Adam Mahopac, NY * August 17th Photography by Lash to Lens

Vendor Recipe Ceremony Venue: The Ritz Carlton Westchester Reception Venue: Villa Barone Hilltop Manor Photography: Lash to Lens 50

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Nadine is a West Indian-American Merchandise Planner for Macy’s living in NYC. Adam, an Englishman, is a former real estate finance professional, currently working for his family’s home development company in the UK. Adam and Nadine first met at his aunt’s wedding 7 years ago in NYC when they were teenagers. Over the next few years, disregarding the distance and life changes, they remained in contact and it was during a trip to NYC in 2011 (november) when Adam finally asked Nadine out on an official date. Nadine says that they had an amazing night and great conversation with no awkward moments, it felt like we were just old friends catching up after years of not seeing each other, it felt complete.

It was soon after this revelation when they both started to discover how strong their love for one another was; so they travelled back and forth over the Atlantic Ocean numerous times over the next few months maintaining their long distance relationship. From the Bride: “A year later, we decided that Adam would take that long journey back to NY for Thanksgiving as this time he will be celebrating with my family and I. Unaware, Adam had arranged for us to stay in a romantic hotel with a great view of NYC setting the scene for a special evening before we went upstate to my brother’s for thanksgiving. After adhering to previous statements from me about not wanting a large public displays of affection he felt this setting was perfect for what turned out to be one of the most nervous yet happiest nights of his life. When we got in one night after dinner and drinks, he kept going in and out of our hotel room which I thought was strange but never really thought much of it as I kept on checking my work emails. We went to bed and early in the morning I woke to him on one knee at the side of the bed looking nervous as ever as he professed his love for me and asked me to make him the luckiest man in the world by marrying him; of course I said YES! (he was still nervous and actually put the ring on the wrong finger) We both started laughing and I took the ring and put it on the correct finger! We had dinner that night to celebrate and made our journey up to my brother’s where we celebrated with my family and told them the good news.

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Janeria & Steven Trenton, NJ * July 6th

Photography by Abby Bradshaw Photography

Vendor Recipe Venue: Trenton War Memorial Theater Photography: Abbey Bradshaw Photography Dress Designer: David’s Bridal Florist: Encore Florist 56 Shades Wedding Magazine | Winter 2014

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Julisa & Luis Spring Lake, NJ * August 9th

Photography by Digna Toledo Photography

Vendor Recipe Photographer: Digna Toledo Photography Hair Stylist: Studio J Salon Floral Designer: Wallflowers Dress Store: Vesa Dresses Makeup Artist: MakeUp by Maria 59 Shades Wedding Magazine | Winter 2014

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Jamil & Michael Henderson, NV * April 20th

Photography by Stacy Bishop Photography

Vendor Recipe Event Venue: Ravella Hotel and resort Event Planner: Michelle Weingartner Photography:

stacy

Bishop Photography

Floral Designer: Petals Flowers and Events 62

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Power Couple...

Cynthia Bailey & Peter Thomas When you think of celebrities, most people think of hard to work with or diva-like behavior. Well this is not how I would describe Cynthia Bailey and Peter Thomas. On the contrary, this striking couple is personable and down to earth! Cynthia, ever the fashionista still manages to look fashion savvy and comfortable after arriving in Miami on an early morning flight. Peter, who swears by Ferragamo, perfectly complements Cynthia looking just as put together. Arriving on set and after hair and makeup and changing into the selected wears, they breeze through each look, with effortless chemistry this couple simply has “it�. Cynthia and Peter put on no facade. Because even though sometimes they had difference of opinions they are totally into each other!

We sat down with this power couple over lunch to pick their brains on matters concerning holy matrimony.

Photography by Spex Photography Styling by Verinia Galloway Hair by Sasha Revolus Makeup by Kerline Preciles Grooming by Mohashie Rodriguez 66

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One - on - One with

Enitan Bereola II

Enitan Bereola II penned the guide, BEREOLAESQUE – The Contemporary Gentleman & Etiquette book for the Urban Sophisticate (Authorhouse). As an AuthorHouse, Amazon and iTunes bestselling author, he recently won a Black Celebration award for Greatness in Literature. The author was selected as one of BLACK ENTERPRISE Magazine’s Young and Bold Business Leaders and was deemed a History Maker by the HistoryMakers’ national organization. Bereola is a ghostwriter, speaker, producer, Soul Train columnist and Essence Magazine relationship advice contributor. He’s exercised his etiquette on FOX News and dished dating advice to NBC Niteside, BET and MTV-u. He’s a regular on California’s 106.1KMEL “Street Soldiers” radio. His writings have been discussed on the nationally syndicated Russ Parr Morning Show and he’s been invited as a guest on The Michael Baisden Show. Bereola’s been featured on the national covers of Equanimity and American Dreaming magazine as well as the front page of Detroit’s Front Page Paper. He’s been featured in Sister 2 Sister magazine, Naija Times in Nigeria and several other notable publications. His brand garners the interest of celebrities and pop-culture alike. He’s paired up with Beats By Dre’s “Show Your Color” campaign to spread his gentleman message as well as Jay-Z and Steve Stoute’s Translation, LLC advertising & marketing company. Mr. Bereola produced an international soundtrack to his book and produced the short film, “This Time” which appeared on “The Mo’Nique Show” and debuted at film festivals around the country.

Enitan has lent his voice as a speaker to Morehouse, FAMU, Purdue, Syracuse, Loyola, Rider, Kansas State, Ball State, Xavier, BCU, U of Maryland at College Park, U of Louisville, U of Oklahoma, U of Tennessee at Chattanooga, U of South Alabama, U of Houston and Bermuda College where his book is a required part of the MENSPEAK curriculum. He’s also been invited to speak at Harvard, Stanford, Tufts and several other institutions. Mr. Bereola was a speaker at the National Black Law Student Association conference in the nation’s capital.

Enitan attended Florida A&M University and is currently on tour woth his follow-up to his gentleman’s guide entitled, GENTLEWOMAN. 67

www.Bereolaesque.com

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SWM: Congratulations on recently getting married!

Enitan: Thank you... Thanks you very much!

I’m very vocal about it but very private at the same time. It’s such a beautiful thing!

SWM: Do you feel life changes after you get married?

Enitan: I do... It does change. It’s like a natural progression. I compare a marriage to a mirror it’s one of the only times in life when you have to face YOU. Other times you can have flaws and get away with it... when you’re single you put them to the side and bury them. But when you’re married and have those flaws that affect your character it affects the marriage. When you’re married you’re moving as a single unit so your flaws are an immediate reflect of that so if you don’t fix it it affects everything. But what’s dope about marriage is that it benefits both parties... It’s a true testimate of Gods love because you have to love God in order to maintain a healthy marriage. You have to forgive, forget and move forward wake up everyday appreciating the blessing.

the difference is I’m more vocal about it. I take everyday circumstances and try to make them easily understood so that everyone can relate.

SWM: You have a new book coming out... Tell us a little but about it.

Enitan: It’s a ladies etiquette book from a gentlemens prospective. It’s called Gentle Woman and it’s something thats intended to be deceiving. Not to deceive everyone but a certain demographic so that when they pick it up they’ll pleasantly surprised by what in it.

When women are finished reading this book I want them to feel empowered and confident.

When you understand who you are and your worth you live your life totally different... it’s amazing!

SWM: You produced a short film... What inspired you to tap into that market?

SWM: You give alot of advice on relationship etiquette... is your advice from experience?

Enitan: It was a friend of mine Matthew Cherry who directed it. I thought it was a really cool story and I also don’t like for people to put me in a box. I grew up playing the drums and I’ve taught myself how to play several instruments. There’s way too much to enjoy in this world to keep yourself limited to just one thing.

Enitan: It’s from a lots of things... My personal experiences, television, and travel. Everyone has an opinion about what they see

SWM: “Pleasantries”... what does that mean?

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Enitan: It softens the blow... I’ll say something very agressive then I’ll hand you some flowers. The essence of being a gentleman is embodying a sense of decorum.

SWM: Seat1A Enitan: It’s a international music experience, It’s the soundtrack to the book... soundtrack to the lifestyle. Seat 1A represents the window seat in first class and it’s contrived of different artist from around the world that are describing with their original songs what Bereolaesque means to them in there land in their own way. So it gives you a “trip around the world” in a Bereolaesque way. You can download the expericence free at http://www. seat1-a.com/.

SWM: What’s next?

Enitan: It’s so funny... Everybody always worried about what’s next and I always say

don’t worry about what’s next focus on and enjoy what’s NOW! Pleasantries...

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From His Heart The speaker at the marriage conference said when a man and woman connect on three levels the physical celebration of sex will naturally follow, naturally.

Fellas, if you make these three connections you will “celebrate” as much you can handle. In fact, you may have to take a break from celebrating. That is a great problem to have.

Are there marriages that have sex even when they haven’t made the three connections? Yes. Are there marriages that have connected in one or two areas, but not the third, and still have regular sex. I’m sure there are. But the sex may not be the celebration both husband and wife are looking for. Maybe the husband is celebrating in the physical, but not the wife.

Here are the three connections you need to make to regularly celebrate with sex in your marriage:

Is Making Love a Form of Celebration in Your Marriage?

Written by: Jackie Bledsoe, Jr Making love is a celebration for you and your spouse. Let me let that sink in a minute…leans back and looks up…places hand on chin… Yes, making love in marriage is the result of you and your spouse connecting, then celebrating your connection. So, if making love isn’t feeling like much of a celebration to you or your wife, then maybe you are missing a connection or two.

A few weeks ago my wife and I attended a weekend marriage retreat. Our relationship has been clicking on a much greater level since then. One huge takeaway for me was viewing sex as a celebration.

That physical celebration will never happen the way it should without some other non-physical connections first.

Celebrations are fun. Celebrations are rewarding. Celebrations come after something has been accomplished. There is no closer, more intimate, way to connect with another human being than having sex. What a great idea God had when He made us with the physical ability to celebrate like this!

However, don’t get it twisted. That physical celebration will never happen the way it should without some other non-physical connections first. Many wives are probably shaking their head, yes, confirmation of that statement.

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1) Connect EMOTIONALLY - Sex is more risky for a woman than a man. During sex a woman is vulnerable and she is in a submissive position. Husbands, if you have not made an emotional connection, it becomes harder for your wife to be willing to celebrate. When your wife feels emotionally safe and secure, she is more likely to want to celebrate. Fellas, make your wife feel emotionally safe. Help her want to celebrate.

2) Connect INTELLECTUALLY - What makes your spouse tick? What are his/her likes and dislikes? Get in your spouse’s head. When you connect on this level, you will have more intimate conversations. You both will reveal more to one another.

A level of transparency will come. You will even be able to talk about sex. Fellas, you won’t be shooting (or feeling) “blindly” hoping you are in the right area. You’ll know because you both feel connected enough to discuss it.

3) Connect SPIRITUALLY - I don’t know where you are in your relationship with Christ. But I know my marriage would not have made it this far without Christ being #1 in our relationship. Connecting at this level is amazing. Prayer for and with your wife tears down any barriers. Try praying for your spouse when you are mad at him or her. The more you pray for them the more that anger goes away. Connecting spiritually tears down all barriers and makes it that much easier to celebrate.

Maybe your marriage and sex life is all that you both hoped for. Would you agree that connecting on those levels has been a huge reason? Maybe your marriage and sex life is suffering and nothing to celebrate. If so, work on connecting emotionally, intellectually, and spiritually. Then start poppin’ bottles because the celebration will soon follow.

FINANCE

When is a good time to purchase Life Insurance?

NOW!

By: Nicole Ronczyk

A • • • •

s we begin this year, this is a great time to review your homeowners, rental, auto, health and life insurance policies. Your upcoming nuptials may allow your to make changes under a ‘Qualifying Life Event’ clause. . Ecclesiastes 3 tells us that “There is a time for everything..” regretfully this includes death. At your passing it will be stressful enough for the love of your life and children to deal with your loss, added financial strain would be overwhelming. We want you to go into your next enrollment meeting and season in life prepared for the (un)expected. We have provided a few things to consider when making your choices.

Points to remember while picking your plan: The easiest way to obtain Life Insurance is through your employer. However, you have many outside options. Shop around and be certain to pick coverage that you can afford- to avoid any lapse in payment. Trust us, having to deal with the underwriting process is a bear that you don’t want to face! The headache and additional fees can cause undue stress and isn’t that what you’re trying to alleviate? Pick a plan you can manage.

Make sure that your plan covers...... To piggy-back off of previous note, pick a plan that has options that you can manage. Many plans have extra bells and whistles that you may or may not need. Only you and your mate can determine what is necessary. The bottom line is the coverage is supposed to match the income that you lose due to the death of your mate. The rule of thumb is 10 years of your salary.

While the rule of thumb may be 10 years, you have a plethora of things to consider. If you have children you must consider the time left until you expect them to leave the nest. In addition to that, consider your age. Your health and age play integral parts in your rate. Obviously the healthier and younger you are the better your rate will be. Please note, this by no means takes the place of your retirement plan.

Lastly, when selecting your policy you will be presented with the option of “Whole Life/Permanent” and “Term” Insurance. Whole Life, also known as Permanent Insurance will not be canceled as long as you stay current on the premium. This type of insurance has an investment component. Most of these policies also allow you to borrow against the cash accumilation of the fund. Transversly, Term Life Insurance coverage does not have an investment component and therefore, the premium is cheaper. As the name implies you are paying for coverage for a ‘term’, similiar to car/health insurance.

In addition to writing a will, please consider these points at your next annual enrollment session. Research, write questions down for your agent, and enroll. Isn’t the peace of mind of your loved ones worth that much?

W~

isdom is the principal thing; therefore get wisdom: and with all thy getting get understanding.

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Proverbs 4:7

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RECIPE

Cooking with Richard Ingram

With this being Shades Wedding Magazine’s Men’s Issue, it was only befitting that we feature the illustrious Chef Richard Ingram. The Miami native has a daunting task of presenting elegant, interesting, and above all healthy meals for none other than Miami Heat’s own Dwayne Wade and his family. Formally trained at the Art Institute of Atlanta, Chef Ingram has always had a passion for the culinary arts. You can taste the love in every bite!

When Mr. Ingram is not satiating the palate of the NBA superstar, his leading lady Gabrielle Union, and Wade’s children; he is giving back to the community locally and nationally. In Miami, you may find him serving the homeless.

At other times you may find him perusing menus of what will be served in schools around the country as he is part of the Chef’s Move to Schools program. Chef’s Move to Schools is a White House initiative that is geared toward fighting Childhood Obesity. His experience of feeding Wade among other athletes and entertainers make him no stranger to providing decadent meals that keep waistlines in check! In addition to his philanthropy and position on the Wade staff, Ingram also hosts individual and group cooking classes. Lucky for you we have a recipe fit for a superstar or a couple of love birds!

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Ingredients: • 6 medium lobster tails (split and meat separated from the shells) • 6oz mandarin oranges (reserve juice and reduce) • 1 tsp Dijon mustard • 1Tbs tamarind • 1/4c red wine vinegar • 3-4oz fresh cilantro • 1 1/2Tbs fresh garlic (minced) • 1 1/2Tbs fresh shallots (minced) • 1Tbs fresh ginger (minced) • Salt & Pepper to taste • 2oz cilantro (for garnish) • 4 oz mandarin oranges (for garnish) • 6oz safflower oil • 2oz safflower oil for brushing lobsters

Grilled Lobster with Tamarind and Mandarin Orange Vinaigrette

Directions: •Combine in a blender: oranges, mustard, tamarind, vinegar, cilantro, mandarin reduction, garlic, shallots, & ginger •While blending drizzle in oil in a steady stream to create an emulsion •Season with salt and pepper to your taste • Refrigerate until ready to serve •Brush lobsters with oil and season both sides with salt and pepper

**BONUS RECIPE**

•Place lobsters meat side down on hot grill

Conch Salad is a popular dish in South Florida and our

•Grill lobsters 4min on each side (make sure meat is in contact with the Caribbean neighbors. So it is no surprise that Chef Ingram grill) •Remove lobsters from the grill • Arrange hot lobsters on a platter and drizzle with vinaigrette •Garnish with cilantro and mandarin oranges Serve with yellow rice, grilled veggies, and a glass of Bordeaux’ Graves.

Bon Appetit!

has put his tasty spin on this sexy dish. *Conch is a natural aphrodisiac.* Enjoy!

Ingredients: • 4 pieces fresh conch (small diced) • 2 stalks celery minced •1 habanero pepper minced • 3 limes juiced •2 oranges segmented • 2 oranges juiced •1 orange bell pepper minced •1/4 c red onion minced •2 tsp. kosher salt •1 tbs. agave nectar Directions •Combine all ingredients in a medium bowl and adjust seasonings • Refrigerate 20 min covered •Remove from the refrigerator and serve

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TRAVEL

...e

Destination One 74

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Harbour

Nestled along 750-feet of pristine oceanfront, ONE Bal Harbour Resort & Spa delivers curated luxury to the exclusive Bal Harbour neighborhood and welcomes sophisticated travelers to a serene retreat within cosmopolitan South Florida. A member of Benchmark Hospitality International’s exclusive Personal Luxury Resorts & Hotels (SM) collection, the 18-story glass tower, opened in summer 2009 as the first new luxury hotel in Bal Harbour in nearly a half-century.

A winding driveway serves as the entry point to the ultra-luxe five-acre property, ending at the elevated and lushly landscaped porte-cochere that separates ONE Bal Harbour from the city bustle. The two-story lobby, completed with Jatoba columns, leather upholstered walls and marble flooring features 22-foot ceilings and oversized glass windows that present picturesque views of the surrounding waterways. A $4 million international art collection is installed throughout the space, reflecting the hotel’s contemporary styling.

ONE Bal Harbour features 124 ocean-view guest rooms in studio or suite layouts, accessible by semi-private elevators with only two rooms per floor. Ranging in size from 510- to 2,800-square feet, each is outfitted with European wood cabinetry and granite countertops, freestanding tubs in bathrooms with 10-foot, floor-to-ceiling windows that overlook the Atlantic Ocean and inlet, and living spaces that flow on to large panoramic terraces with unparalleled views. In-room amenities include 42” flat-screen TV’s with BOSE® SoundSpace surround sound, in-mirror televisions in the bathroom, 24-hour room service, complimentary shoe shining, twice daily housekeeping, and feathertop mattresses draped in luxurious 350-thread-count bedding, among others.

Outside, ONE Bal Harbour guests enjoy access to a secluded beachfront pool area furnished with chairs and umbrellas, and staffed with beach and pool attendants for food and beverage service. A grouping of private cabanas with individual hot tubs deliver an intimate lounging experience in the garden area for relaxed travelers, and water sports are available beachside for active adventure-seekers.

The hotel also boasts an ocean-view bar, lounge, restaurant and poolside garden café, along with a 10,000-square-foot waterfront spa, and state-of-the-art fitness center. Guests are attended to with 24-hour concierge service, personal shoppers, and multi-lingual staff that can help accommodate requests that range from evening-out attire to private jet and yacht charters.

The ONE Bal Harbour is walking distance from the famous Bal Harbour Shops, 15 minutes from South Beach and Aventura Mall, 25 minutes from the Port of Miami, and 30 minutes from both the Miami and Fort Lauderdale airports and Fort Lauderdale’s Port Everglades.

Pets are also welcomed with exclusive in-room amenities with the Posh Pets Program. ONE Bal Harbour provides signature doggie beds, bowls and treats, as well as special recipes prepared. Dog-sitting and walking and access to grooming and veterinarian services are available through the Pawcierge.

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PLANNING

Wedding Timeline 12 MONTHS AHEAD

• Select the date for your wedding

• Consult with your fiance & all parents to

determine the financial support available to you

& set a budget

• Determine with your fiance the type of

wedding you want (Formal, informal, Small, Large)

• Determine the number of guest you will have

• Select and reserve Ceremony site

• Select an officiant for the ceremony

• Select & reserve Reception site

10-12 MONTHS AHEAD

• Arrange for families to meet (if they haven’t already)

• Begin shopping for gown & Accessories

• Order Gown

• Start preparing the guest list

• Choose wedding party attendants

• Select and order wedding attendants wedding attire

• Research review & select your photographer

• Research review & select your videographer

• Send save the date cards

• Get your engagement photo taken 8-10 MONTHS AHEAD

• Select & reserve the caterer

• Select & reserve the decorator

• Select & reserve the florist

• Select & reserve the party rental equipment

• Determine wedding cake design; select & re

serve a baker or bakery

• Select & reserve musician for ceremony

• Select & reserve music/entertainment for the reception

• Select & reserve transportation for the wedding party

• Plan the details of the reception

• Begin shopping for wedding rings

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6-8 MONTHS AHEAD

• Order invitations, announcements, informal

Stationary & thank you notes

• Register for wedding gifts at one to three stores

• Reserve accommodations for out-of-town guests

• Reserve transportation for out-of-town guests

to travel to/from the ceremony & reception

• Finalize honeymoon plans with fiance

(Finalize arrangements, check passports/visas) 4-6 MONTHS AHEAD

• Select & order men’s formal wear

• Reserve accommodations for wedding night

• Select stylist or salon for bridal party hair, nails

& make-up

• Meet with florist to plan details

• Select & purchase wedding guest favors

• Select and Hire calligrapher if needed

• Begin dance lessons with fiance

• Find & reserve your rehearsal dinner location

• Finalize guest list 2-4 MONTHS AHEAD

• Confirm delivery dates for bridal gown &

bridesmaids’ dresses

• Meet with caterer to discuss menu

• Meet with officiant to discuss ceremony

• Select ceremony music, reading & vows

• Schedule ceremony rehearsal & notify partici pants

• Buy & Wrap gifts for wedding party

• Address wedding invitations

• Buy wedding accessories & order engraving 1-2 MONTHS AHEAD

• Schedule final fitting for your gown

• Remind bridesmaids to schedule final fittings

• Get your marriage license

• Mail invitations

• Prepare printed program for ceremony

• Start seating plan and place cards for reception

• Plan pre-wedding luncheon for bridesmaids

• Confirm ceremony & reception details

• Assign wedding day task to friends

• Confirm request lists with photographer, musi

cians/DJ & Videographer

• Purchase wedding Accessories (guest book &

pen, toasting glasses, unity candle, cake knife &

server, and flower/ring bearer accessories)

• Pick up wedding rings & check engraving

• Record gifts received & write thank you notes promptly

• Schedule prewedding manicure/pedicure,

massage & Spa treatments 2-4 WEEKS AHEAD

•Arrange for cleaning & preservation of wedding

gown after wedding

•Arrange for bridal bouquet preservation after wedding

•Confirm honeymoon arrangements

•Confirm arrangements for attire & accessories of

all Wedding party members

•Assist Fiance with writing toasts for rehearsal din

ner & wedding reception

•Follow up with guests who didn’t respond to the

invite & finish seating chart/place cards

•Confirm final guest count to caterer & reception facility 1 WEEK AHEAD

• Make final contact with baker, caterer, florist, mu

sician DJ, Photographer, Videographer

• Make final preparations for honeymoon

• Confirm wedding-day assignments with family & friends

• Confirm time/location for rehearsal dinner

& Wedding with wedding party participants

• Confirm pick-up times/locations with

transportation Providers

• Put fees due on the wedding day in envelopes

• Host bridesmaids luncheon DAY OF THE WEDDING

• Rings & marriage license

• Bride’s wedding attire

• Grooms wedding Attire

• Ring Bearer pillow/flower girl basket

• Wedding programs

• Cake knife & server, toasting flutes

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• Guest book & pen • Unity candle • Pay officiant & vendors • Assign person to collect/transport gifts

AFTER THE WEDDING

• Return rental attire

• Have wedding gown cleaned & preserved

• Have bridal bouquet preserved

• Freeze the top layer of your cake to enjoy on

your One-year anniversary

• Record gifts received & write thank you notes

promptly within 2 months

• Develop photos from disposable cameras NOTES:

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