Strike Magazine Boca Issue 07

Page 87

WITH CANDICE ANTOINE

07
issue
shot by kimara pretlow

available on spotify

ABOUT THE ISSUE

A PAUSE. A BREAK. A MOMENT'S REST. A CHANCE TO BREATHE, A TIME TO BE. A HIATUS CAN BE DESCRIBED AS A DISCONTINUATION, A TEMPORARY BREAK, OR GAP IN TIME. UNCERTAINTY. GROWTH. EVERYTHING IN BETWEEN.

MARCH MADNESS WITH FAUMBB fashion

#STRIKETRENDWATCH

THE GABRIETTE EFFECT WHO IS ENIGMA?

WE’RE HARNESSING MERMAID ENERGY IN 2023

WE'RE HARNESSING

MERMAID ENERGY IN 2023

44 'ON HIATUS' WITH CANDICE ANTOINE

14 30
C O N T E

ARE WE THE MUSICIANS WE LISTEN TO? WE NEED TO TALK ABOUT CELEBRITY COUPLE AGE GAPS IT’S TIME TO CANCEL HUSTLE CULTURE THE SECRETS WE HOLD IN OUR HAIR LUCKY GIRL SYNDROME

96

PERMANENTLY ON DO NOT DISTURB THE KEY TO FULFILLMENT DESTIGMATIZING FEMALE MASTURBATION COOKING IS HOT BLACK GIRL BURNOUT SO F*CKING ZEN

N T s 110

THE FUTURE IS FEMALE TREES THE DOPAMINE FAST

NO STRINGS ATTACHED

culture
SO F*CKING ZEN
beauty & wellness
science & tech

why is it so hard to accept the party is over?

a letter from the editor

Here goes nothing! You know that feeling when you have so much to say but just can't get the words out? I really want to get it right, so bear with me as I navigate through what feels like the world's worst breakup. Sitting here writing my last few lines in the middle of our neighborhood bar, surrounded by all the people on this team that make it all worth it. Between the 15-hour production days, all-nighters, burnout, tears, and the couple hundred "Hi girlie, just following up on this" emails, I haven't really had time to process that this is it. The Grand Finale.

In this issue, we explore the idea of going on hiatus - a time for pause, rest, and reflection. In a world that seems to move at a breakneck pace, it's important to take a step back and give ourselves permission to slow down, recharge, and take stock of where we are. In these pages, you will find stories of people who have taken time to heal, to explore, to create, and to grow. Everyone needs a break once in a while. In doing so, you discover new passions, perspectives, and ways of being. Maybe I should have slowed down more.

But being on hiatus is not just about relaxation and self-care. It's also a time of uncertainty, questioning, and growth. It's a chance to confront our fears, to push ourselves out of our comfort zones, and to discover what we're truly capable of. Maybe this beautiful era coming to an end is the push I need. The last four years, I've felt like I've been on auto-pilot: created the editorial board, scheduled staff interviews, rescheduled staff interviews because they got the date wrong, onboard new team, meeting, meeting, meeting, meeting, production day, another production day, sorry I won't be home for dinner, editorial meeting, art meeting, I'd love to come to your birthday party, but we have a shoot that day, email, email, all-nighter, yes, the magazine is almost done, event, all-nighter, cry session, I promise I'll have more free time next week. You know that one friend that gets into a relationship and suddenly disappears for four months? That was me but with fewer red roses and more TIFFs and JPEGs.

My relationship with Strike was love at first sight; immediately swept off my feet by its dedication to uncovering the stories and issues that matter most, its commitment to representing diverse voices and perspectives, its unrelenting passion for change, and Emma Oleck at the forefront of it all, leading us deep into the chiffon trenches. What Emma didn't know is that she was creating more than just a 75-page magazine. It was a home. A place for us to be; and to create with no boundaries or judgment. Emma, thank you for gifting me the most beautiful four years of my entire life. I hope I made you proud.

Years later, I still feel that same intense connection to the magazine. Strike Magazine has become a part of who I am, a constant reminder of the power of storytelling and the importance of speaking truth to power. I am forever grateful for that.

Thank you to my incredible team for listening to my incessant rambling, trusting the vision (even when it involves live snakes), and constantly giving your all to this publication; you are the driving force of Strike Magazine. To the readers: thank you for supporting your local college creatives. We wouldn't be here without you.

As you read through these pages, I hope you will find inspiration and encouragement to take your own hiatus - whether it's a weekend getaway, a sabbatical from work, or simply a few moments of quiet contemplation each day. May this issue serve as a reminder that taking a break is not a sign of weakness but rather a powerful act of self-care and self-discovery. What's next for Mila? Who knows. In all honesty, I'm just excited to get 8 hours of sleep next week. That's it for now... Mila out.

Strike Forever, Melania Zilo, HBIC

As the weather gets warmer, the trends get hotter. Strike and I have returned to give you the 4-1-1 on the up-andcoming trends you can spend the summer frolicking in. Here is your #STRIKETRENDWATCH for your print-reading pleasure.

MERMAID CORE

H2O and Aquamarine girlies, this is your lucky day. Getting in the water to cool off. Playing mermaids is cool again. And dressing like them is cooler. Adopt the wet look in your hair while wearing every shade of blue possible in the most ethereal way possible. Lots of asymmetrical silhouettes will help you look your mermaid best this summer.

SHEER IS HERE

Tits out all summer! Sheer challenges you to bare all in the name of fashion. It’s the star of many runway shows this past fashion season. It looks good with any pattern, texture, and fit. Wear if you dare…

RIBBONS GALORE

As an extension of the 'Soft Girl' trend, Sandy Liang’s recent collection has confirmed that the 'coquette girl' aesthetic is here to stay. This time, it’s with a heavy emphasis on bows. They’re here, there, and everywhere this season. The girly girl’s favorite accessory reigns on.

LIVED IN LEATHER

The look that is lived-in leather can be found in high-end stores and thrift stores alike. Your dad’s old leather jacket can be taken out of retirement, or you can choose to splurge on the new Miu Miu leather handbags. Leather, whether it’s faux or for real, is the coldest trend this summer.

MAXI SKIRTS

Move over, minis! Maxis have been all the rage lately. We’ve seen all the hot girls in their denim maxi skirts all fall and winter, but let’s not forget to keep that in the wardrobe rotation this spring and summer too. Branch out and find a funky maxi that pairs with the upcoming hot months to become little miss sunshine.

ART-INSPIRED PIECES

Colm Dillane’s KidSuper has brought us into a renaissance of wearable art. Whether it’s a shirt, pants, clothes, shoes, or handbags, it’s nothing short of exceptional. Bright colors stroked onto clothing to make up a bigger picture; all of which are true art. As a guest designer at Louis Vuitton earlier this year, he showed his true colors and made a visually stunning collection.

TIGHTS IN EVERY COLOR OF THE RAINBOW

This trend looks best under your favorite skirts and dresses. They're opaque, colored tights. Match the color to the patterns on your clothes, or stand out with an eye-catching combo or color. Don’t knock it ‘til you try it.

PUFF PUFF, SMASH

This is a trend you absolutely can’t pass on. The puffer look has been trending, except now it’s gone beyond just the jacket. With bags like Coach’s Pillow Tabby bag and shoes such as Prada’s Soft Padded loafers, this fun and fluffy trend ensures everything gets the softest possible upgrade.

PERIOD
Photography by Branden Connelley Art and layout by Sergio Pimentel Talent Alejandro Ralat, Vlad Goldin, Nick Boyd, Jack Johnson, Leo Beath, and Isaiah Gaines

STRAYING AWAY FROM THE MALE GAZE

Let’s face it. No blueprints are written to achieve the ultimate “cool girl” status. It does not matter how often you rewatch Amy Dunne’s Gone Girl monologue or how long you spend deciding if the clean girl aesthetic is better than the coquette one. We all still circle back to the same invisible enemy that has kept us in a chokehold for centuries. That big scary elephant in the room with us is none other than the infamous patriarchy! Many of us know what the “male gaze” is, and we hate it with everything in us. Nothing will stop us from subconsciously wanting to fit a mold designed to provide an imaginary ideal of how women should act. Notwithstanding, this ideology would work if it were 1950 and not 2023.

Think of those moments your loved ones criticized you for how much makeup you wore. Think of the moments you were told that no man would respect a girl who wore a dress or mini skirt like that. We have all been programmed to consider a man's needs before our own. Now is the time to stop rolling over on our sides and taking assigned gender roles without biting back. Women are now straying away from the male gaze more than ever, and we have never been happier. Cheers to dressing and doing your makeup to appease yourself only!

SUCCUBUS CHIC

a sullen, sultry, vampy woman who adores skinny brows, jet black hair and a Kubrick stare.

Succubus chic is what Dazed Digital has coined, a new term referring to the contemporary grunge style that has overcome many of the most prominent it-girls of the moment. A succubus is defined as a female demon believed to have sexual intercourse with sleeping men. The style revolves around thin, barely-there eyebrows, light eyeshadow, and sunken eyes rode in eyeliner, all tied in with a Kubrick stare. To coin a look like succubus chic just tells me some of you have watched Jennifer’s Body one too many times. According to the blogs, this look is straight from hell, but to me, it’s just women catering to the female gaze. For centuries beauty standards have been ruled with the idea that being soft and submissive is the only way to true femininity. However, this new aesthetic is multiplying rapidly. It threatens patriarchal ideologies through edginess, grunge, and the latest it girl, out with Alix Earl, in with Gabbriette Betchel.

The main character initiating this grunge girl-style resurgence has been none other than this former rock star. Gabriette, a vegan chef and now up-and-coming model, has given a new look to cool girl sex appeal. Her rise to fame was almost instantaneous once she began to grace social media’s presence with her I.AM.GIA and Heaven by Marc Jacobs campaigns. Her jet-black hair, pale skin, and thin brows, grouped with

a deathly stare, embody succubus chic, as the blogs call it. Gabriette has simply rebirthed the vintage grunge aesthetic that was most popular in the nineties. I paid close attention as the current it-girls followed in her footsteps. Their hair gradually became darker, and brows were soon plucked to the edge of bare existence.

It is essential to note that Gabriette is not the first grungy muse to set trends. If anything, she was inspired by the original it-girl Angelina Jolie. She was talked about and gawked at in the media for being out of control and watering down her personality throughout the years. Jolie clearly has left a mark style-wise in the fashion world. All because she catered to her own identity, which she gained a lot of hatred for.

The vampy grunge aesthetic has made a complete comeback in the modern-day trend cycle. With the help of social media, it caused a drastic shift from the infamous clean girl trend many have obsessed with over the past few years. The girls seem to be over the health and wellness and in the mood for a more messy indy sleaze approach.

I have seen thousands of videos of women demonstrating soft girl tips with high buns that lack a single strand of hair out of place, all plastered against their scalps with

gel. While I agree women need to realize catering to themselves is essential. I wonder if we recognize the agenda behind these soft girl trends to push a particular image of how a woman should always act. Women are expected to be approachable and put together at all times, catering to the ideals the patriarchy upholds for women in society. Yes, do your skincare routine and beat your face, but never be afraid to experiment or be a little chaotic.

We can be our own worst enemies, but the male gaze encourages us to keep ourselves in a box that promotes fear of the beauty we were born with. Regardless of whether it was intentional, we have actively contributed to maintaining the male gaze. People often judge others for how they look or act based on the patriarchal radar that keeps our identities subdued. Many of us do not realize how hard it is for women to have their unique style; some will be too stubborn to understand. We must uplift one another and enforce creative expression that does not need to abide by society’s checklist of what women or men should be. Simply pity those who dim their individuality to suffice for what Chad will tell them when they leave the house. But console those actively trying to stray away from the patriarchy’s projections on identity.

The fashion industry is one of the most ever-changing in the world. For a long time, fashion shows, fancy after-parties, and private exhibitions were reserved for only the wealthy, well-connected, and industry veterans. But in recent years, outsiders being accepted within the industry has become a growing trend. One of the biggest outsiders making a name for himself is someone who lacks one. Simply known as “Enigma” (@enigma.curation), the anonymous curator has been building a reputation for himself off social media exploring things like archive fashion, interior design, architecture, fine art, and so much more despite never showing his face or revealing his name. Having known him for around a year and a half now, I can confidently say people like him are the cornerstone of the fashion industry. Just recently returning from Paris fashion week, I discussed with a jetlagged Enigma his experiences there, his duties as a curator, and more.

Rajan Garg : Introduce yourself and tell us what you do. Enigma Curation : I’m Enigma. I run @enigma.curation on Instagram and Twitter. I guess I would consider myself a curator, but the reality is I do creative consulting with my team of other people, including designer and Yeezy alumni Abel Paul George, jeweler Ian Delucca, cinematographer Vaughn “V-Rob” Robinson, and graphic designer Brenton Lockett. We’re working behind the scenes in the industry and helping people create these cultural moments, whether that’s ghost-designing or setting up pop-ups, redesigning store locations– anything that has to do with the artistic spin on design. We’re essentially creating new moments and designing the future. I always put it in a way of like, “Yeah, we’re curating, but it’s not in the traditional museum sense; we’re curating the future.” But it’s not just me like I’m Enigma; Enigma is much bigger than me. I just named a few people, but we have a team that runs deep.

RG : Why do you choose to keep your identity a secret?

E : I think that it’s important to view art, design, and creation in a vacuum. I never want anything to be about me. I never want it to be like, “Oh, look at that guy; look what he’s doing.” It’s about others. On my platform, I don’t show any of the work I’m doing. I don’t show anything that’s paying the bills. I’m not a blog page out here taking payments for paid promotions; I’m not doing any of that. And I think It’s important that this isn’t about me; this is about building community, pushing designs and creativity forward, and giving the people who I think are talented the platform. I’d much rather see everybody else shine. I think for people to connect with art and find what they enjoy in it, it shouldn’t be about personalities. It should be about creation. Questions like “What does creation mean on the public scale and the public-facing image? But also, “What does creation mean on a one-to-one basis?” If I sit here and look at a piece of art, am I feeling emotional? What emotions am I feeling? And why am I feeling this? How does it connect to me? It’s not about “Yo, this is fire because they’re Instagram famous,” or whatever the f*ck. None of this is about me. I will never show my face because it will never be about me. It’s about community and pushing the culture forward.

Art + Layout by Rajan Garg

RG : Explain your role as a curator and what exactly it entails.

E : To curate is to organize and select things and put them in the right spot so it looks good, feel good, or creates a space. I like to take that simple concept and use it for everything. So if somebody comes to my team and says, “Hey, I’m building this collection, and I need help designing.” Or “I need help figuring out how to deliver something to the public and do a pop-up around this.” I’m the one that’s like, “Okay, we’re going to curate this experience. We’re going to craft this in a way and build this narrative. We’re going to make sure this collection is seamless.” That’s what curating is; that’s what my role is. That’s my day-to-day. Publicly, it’s putting things together in a way that makes sense, attaching ethos. If you look at my {Instagram} feed, it’s one color every day. It goes from furniture, architecture, design, fashion, and then it goes to art. I want to ensure that each row has the same feeling, the same ethos, the same color, or even the same form. It’s curated daily on my platforms, making sure the page itself is cu-

rated on a larger scale and making sure it makes sense from top to bottom. It’s making sure you (the viewer) can understand where the taste is, where I’m pulling things from, or even how I’m feeling when I’m doing this. Everything is in the moment. When it comes to my platform, I’m not planning posts four days in advance. It’s usually within ten minutes before posting I get a feeling that’s like, “Yo, maybe I should just look up this piece. I’ve been thinking about it; I know it’s in this color. Let me go find images of it.” Or sometimes, right before I’m about to post, I see something that inspires me and fits, so I run with it. Nothing is ever planned. It’s pure emotion, and it just connects. Like the first post of the day, I know the color, but I need to feel what it is. And then, based on that, I feel the next post, and I run with it. There are two sides to it, but overall, it’s organizing and establishing a connection with everything I do, whether it’s private life, work, or the public platform.

RG : You’ve been working in the fashion industry for quite a long time, what’s the best way somebody can acquire connections and move up in the industry like the way you did?

E : This is such a cliché answer, but you kind of just have to push through and make it out of the mud. Meeting people, being outgoing, and being passionate is important. As long as you have passion, you’ll succeed. I started out working in luxury retail, but I had a passion for what I was talking about. It wasn’t like, “I’m gonna go sell this thing, and that’s it.” I’m gonna be passionate about the collections I’m showing or the product I’m showing. And then, when I’m not at work, I’m gonna be passionate about everything else. I’m gonna be passionate about designing; I’m gonna sit here and sketch furniture, design clothes, paint, or do whatever. Having that passion and moving through your life with that passion, you’ll meet people, and people will respect and understand that passion. And then you’ll start to build connections through that basis. It’s supposed to be seven degrees of separation, but in the digital age, it’s more like three. I think as

long as you’re your own biggest fan, work hard, and just do what makes you passionate; it’s gonna work. Even if it doesn’t work out on the first day, the first week, or the first year, it will come. You just have to be a presence. Let people know, “I’m about this! I love this! And you’re not gonna stop me!” There will be people who follow behind you, support you, and love what you do. It sounds super cliché, but that’s the best advice I could give. In 2018, I was sleeping in my car. I would have to go to the gym in the morning, shower, put on my suit, and clock in at my job at Louis Vuitton. But I just had that passion. I had no money and was living in my car and was wearing Rick Owens’s “Memphis” pants. Like I was homeless wearing Rick Owens trousers. That’s the kind of passion you have to have. Don’t be like me, don’t be that dumb, but that’s what it is. You really have to go all out for whatever you want to do. If you care enough, you have to make sacrifices. That’s what makes it happen.

RG: I saw you were at Paris Fashion Week, how was it and what were some of your highlights?

E: Ah man, Paris Fashion Week is one of the greatest experiences ever. I’m so blessed to be able to go and be able to work and meet people and do so many things. It’s a beautiful experience. It was amazing. Going to the Louis Vuitton show was one of the craziest experiences I’ve ever had. Like I just said, I was homeless and working there. I had nothing, and I used to work there selling $40,000 trunks and then went to sleep in my car. Suddenly, I’m in Paris, sitting courtside at the LV show, recording it on my little VHS camcorder. That wasn’t just a highlight of Paris Fashion Week but one of the highlights of my life. Like, that’s a complete 180. Life completely flipped on its head. There were other great experiences, too. I met with a bunch of amazing people that I respected and looked up to for a long time. I got to interview some amazing people. Me and my team got to go out there and shake things up. But sitting at the LV show was definitely one of the highlights of my life.

RG : Anything you didn’t like?

E : I feel like this is a dumb answer, but no, I love it all. Even if I go sit down at a runway show, and I think the collection is bad or I don’t like the designer or whatever it may be, I can’t say that I don’t like anything because it’s such a blessing to be out there and talk to people. Even with inner-industry politics, it’s all worth it. It’s all a beautiful experience. I know it’s not the most exciting answer, but I’m not gonna put anybody down. It’s beautiful.

RG : Who are some of your favorite emerging creatives in the industry right now whether it be in fashion or any other medium?

E : Oh man, I could go on and on. Whether that’s clothing, art, or whatever, ANTONY RiDDLE (@antonyriddleforever) is like my brother. He is pushing the boundaries. HYBRID Clothing (@hybridclothing) is doing their thing. I love it. Shit, I love Adam Small (@byadamsmall) and Badson (@ badson.us). Abel Paul George, some of the best quality, most affordable garments I have ever had in my life. Shit, I’m gonna have to give you more because I could just keep rambling. I have a whole list. Thomas Stokes (@txstokes) is a phenomenal artist. Alexander Digenova (@alexander__ digenova), FFFPOSTALSERVICE (@fffpostalservice), HJR Digital (@hjr.digital), Frank Dorrey (@frankdorrey). These are f*cking amazing artists, and I could go on and on.

RG : What are some things about fashion week that the general public doesn’t really know about?

E : It is work! That’s all I’m gonna say. It is f*cking work. I think a lot of people just think, “Oh, you know, you get dressed up, you stay somewhere nice, you go to these little shows, and then you go to these after-parties.” But it is f*cking work. Even if you’re not working for the brands. If you’re a buyer, a stylist, or press, it’s work. We were waking up at 8 am getting the day started, making sure we got everybody ready, missing out on meals, going to meetings, creating content, handling all the business behind the scenes, etc. Next thing you know, you have to go to the after-party because you have to keep networking and keep talking to people. It’s fun and exciting, but next thing you know, you’re home, and it’s 4 am, and the next show you have to go to is at 9 am, so I have to be up and out of the house by 8 am. I know people are gonna say, “That’s not real work.” but it’s work. It is exhausting. That’s what people don’t know. It looks great and glamorous on social media, and it’s a good time, but it’s f*cking work.

RG : These people you named, why are they your favorites?

E : I appreciate everyone that’s pushing the boundaries and working hard at all levels. Whether that’s a designer who has a 100,000 square foot warehouse and is still busting their ass making new designs or artists who have sold $100,000 paintings and are still in their studio painting 14 hours a day, all the way down to the dude that’s shipping out of his garage, putting his last dollar into pushing the boundaries and hoping he gets a sale. He’s making it because he’s passionate and knows how to make patterns; he knows how to cut things. If you’re doing it, pushing the boundaries, and being true to your ethos, I can see that, and I can feel it, and I’m gonna support you. That’s what it is. In design, we need to remove the idea of clout. All that bullshit needs to go. We need more “I’m doing this because I love it, and I’m gonna change the industry. I’m gonna change how things look; I’m gonna change how materials feel; I’m gonna change how we view art.” Or even how we look at furniture, how we sit in a space. I’m gonna innovate. I’m gonna keep trying to push and curate the future. I’m designing so our future is curated in a different way. It exists differently. So if you’re operating within that space and that mindset, I’m gonna support you. That’s it. I could name names for days, but if you got that “it” factor right there, you’re gonna be successful. I don’t care if you just got started or what it is; if you keep doing that, you’re gonna be successful. That’s what we need. We don’t need this stagnant, paid promo, printed tee shirt, blah blah blah. We need passion and people who want to change the landscape of what design is and how people interact with culture in their lives and their day to day. That’s what we need.

RG : What do you see yourself doing in the future?

E : Man, this. This is but at a larger scale. I just want to keep running this up. I want to be able to give that platform to people. Just more and more. I want to be able to help people with whatever it is. It all goes back to these same points. As a community, as a group of people, and as creatives, let’s build and create the future. Let’s just keep pushing it forward. If I could be the person that “doesn’t exist” and just silently move this forward, that’s the dream. That’s all I care about. If I could take 15 fashion designers and help them build their business, if I could take artists and give them a space to create, If I could take furniture designers and help them manufacture their pieces and get them placed in places, that’s what I’m gonna do. That’s the only future I see. I know my team feels the same way. I know we all want to do that and push things forward. As a community, let’s push it forward and change the landscape. That’s the only future I want.

Photos by Enigma Curation Photography by Sage Holaway and Maya Nicholson Written by Morgan Harms Styling by Ella Chan and Alexa Michel Art and layout by Deana Marie Dieujuste Beauty by Sam Acello

MERMAID

we're harnessing energy in 2023

Anyone down for playing mermaids? Growing a tail and having kickass mermaid powers was the childhood dream that captivated us all. The hope that someday it would come true was such a magical thing to hold on to. As time passed, the optimism of joining our Australian girls in the moon pool dwindled. However, living out your H2o mermaid dreams may not be as unreachable as you thought. While I can’t tell you how to grow a tail and breathe underwater (I’m still working on that one), I can tell you how to become a mermaid mentally. The mermaid mentality will not just make you super cool; it will also benefit your overall health and well-being.

The ocean is a vital piece of the body of Mother Earth. It resembles a heart constantly moving and pumping seawater through her veins, bringing life to those who call Earth home. As humans, we are naturally drawn to the ocean. Its soothing nature brings immediate peace, and its unparalleled beauty is hard not to get lost in. The sea has a way of making us feel small. It humbles us, something we need as the ruling species of our planet. Being dwarfed by the natural world allows us to grasp the idea that so many beings are animate and inanimate that are much larger and more powerful than us. Paying the respect that is due to our ocean is rewarding and by all means necessary. This feeling can be used to connect back to yourself and your state of being. The ocean carries intense spiritual energy you can physically feel. It emits profound waves of transformation, peace, depth, and beauty.

The spiritual energy radiating off the seawater carries substantial mental and physical health benefits. The ocean induces a meditative state, which some have named the Blue Mind Theory. The Blue Mind Theory is a state of peace associated with being around or in the ocean. It increases dopamine and serotonin hormone levels, also known as the happy hormones. The sea also decreases cortisol levels, known as the stress hormone. These effects increase overall happiness and enjoyment and can even reduce depressive symptoms.

Furthermore, the color blue is associated with calming properties. This means that even just looking at the ocean can aid in managing stress.

The ocean carries intense spiritual energy you can physically feel.

In terms of mental health, this is very beneficial and almost vital to do from time to time. Simply swimming in the ocean has many perks. It has the same effect as doing yoga, which balances and exercises the mind and body by focusing on thoughts and controlling emotions. Swimming in the ocean mimics this ancient practice, utilizing slow breathing and gentle movements. Grounding is the process of electrically reconnecting with the Earth, and it’s a very effective method of revitalizing your sense of self. Grounding through the ocean can be achieved by swimming in the water or simply being barefoot in the sand.

Vitamins and minerals are abundant in seawater. As crazy as it sounds, these properties will literally absorb into your

body as you swim through the ocean. This boosts your immunity, meaning that just swimming in the seawater can keep the frat flu away! Magnesium found in saltwater relaxes muscles, which reduces tension caused by stress. This alleviates all types of muscle pain. Saltwater also acts as a natural antibacterial. Cuts and scrapes can be healed quicker (even faster than Neosporin).

People associate so many different objects, beings, and ideas with the ocean; one of them being the elusive mermaid. Mermaids are mythical creatures affiliated with the sea, and there is an immense amount of symbolism behind their legend. Mermaids are representatives of transformation, altering from one state of being to another. Since the ocean is constantly moving and changing, mermaids are said to be able to adjust and shift with it. In some legends, they are said to have the ability to transform from an aquatic being to a land being (another one for the H2o fans). This concept can be applied to transformation in your own life. It can be a significant change,

ocean waves give off a beautiful white noise, allowing you to retreat and disconnect from the world.

like moving to the place you’ve always dreamed of, quitting your lousy job, or even changing your entire outlook on the world. This idea can also be used for minor adjustments, like attending that art class you’ve always thought of taking, changing your diet, or even your style. It’s scary for some and exciting for others, but all in all, change is healthy, and change is okay.

Beyond the concept of transformation, many myths revolving around mermaids include the idea that mermaids are symbols for birth and renewal. This stems from the fact that water is necessary for life, and an abundance of it brings sustainability. This idea of birth and renewal can be perceived as the dawn of a new, untouched sense of self—the revival of your being, a rejuvenation of spirit. A change in mindset is natural, and at a certain point, it becomes necessary.

Mermaids represent light in even the darkest parts of the ocean. They swim to the most strenuous depths of the water, even regions completely untouched by sunlight. Still, they

manage to hold on to their beauty and strength. If you find yourself in a dark place, swim through it as a mermaid would. Through that heaviness, you will persevere as they do. Your value will be sustained, and you will grow stronger through the hardship.

Swimming in the ocean, even just watching or listening to the waves, can be used as an energy transfer between yourself and the sea. If you’re into crystals, you can use aquamarine, amazonite, larimar, ocean jasper, or chrysocolla to connect yourself to the ocean further. You can use these crystals to tap into the ocean, bringing yourself right to the sea no matter where you are. Surfing has also been proven to aid in achieving levels of spiritual enlightenment through the help of the ocean. If you don’t know how to surf, take some lessons, or watch videos on YouTube! Listening to wave sounds before you sleep is also an excellent way to connect yourself to the sea.

Hearing

You can look them up or record your own! I like recording the sound of the waves whenever I go to the beach or cool surf spots. This helps me to imagine myself in the setting I was in when I was recording. I can picture the waves that were crashing, the winds that were blowing, and even the color of the ocean.

Simply taking the time to appreciate and connect with our natural world benefits an individual’s well-being. Learn from the messages embedded into the legend of mermaids, and use it to grow yourself and your state of being to its highest potential. Harnessing the energy of mermaids is genuinely about a change in mindset and the utilization of what Mother Earth has created for you.

the ocean’s sounds can help put you into a meditative state.

On hIaTus

Meet Candice: a 23-year-old Franco-American living in New York City, working as a content creator, best known for her passion for vintage goods, fashion, jewelry, and cooking. Candice is also the face behind the Vintage Deli, a whimsical and colorful jewelry brand, where she brings joy and playfulness to every aspect of her work. Her positive energy radiates through her content, which is characterized by an irresistible combination of authenticity and inspiration that has the power to imbue even the most quotidian aspects of our daily routine. We sat down with Candice to talk about self-care, favorite trends, and French skincare (duh).

WriTtEn bY MELANIA ZILO aRt & LayOut By SERENA BRUNO

Photography by Sterling Smith and Kimara Pretlow Styling by Brandon Brownstein, Ali Tarnowsky, and Aidan Rourke, assisted by Ella Chan and Ava Davison Beauty by Sam Acello

What is your daily self-care routine?

How do you prioritize self-care in your busy schedule?

My daily routine is simple; I love prioritizing my skincare routine and cooking homemade meals. It brings me joy! I’m very extroverted, so part of my happiness is spending time with friends. They are truly one of the best things in my routine, whether it’s a quick catch-up via FaceTime or a coffee date. During busy weeks, it’s all about balance. If I don’t have time for the gym, then I’ll go for a walk while doing errands.

How do you believe wellness and fashion intersect, and how do you incorporate this connection into your work?

For me, fashion and wellness intersect in many ways. First, it is about being consumer conscious and knowing that most trends are fads, so buying everything because it is trendy at the moment doesn’t fulfill your well-being but only contributes to overconsumption. Fashion is about self-expression and feeling good; therefore, in my daily life and work, it’s important that I enjoy what I wear. Trends are amazing only if they are aligned with my own personal style.

How do you navigate the pressures of social media and self-promotion as a wellness and fashion creative?

"Some days, it gets to me more than others, but I’ve truly mastered how to manage my time on social media. It is a great space for inspiration for me, so when I feel overwhelmed, I focus on what is real: art, music, and nature. In school, I learned how to make a mood board, and it rarely involved people, more so textures, shapes, colors, etc...

How do you stay current and inspired in both the wellness and fashion industries and what trends are you currently loving? Looking around honestly, get outside, and people-watch! My friends have the best sense of style; it’s wonderful to see how we can all create such unique and amazing outfits. At the moment, I’m into colored tights, ponchos, silver bags, and lace skirts.

You’re on an island and can only take 5 self-care items with you; what are you bringing?

"Caudalie moisturizer, LESSE facial mist, matcha packets, Glossier Balm Dotcom in Fig, and a nail clipper…"

Title:‘AREWETHEMUSICIANSWELISTENTO?

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are we
NO.54

Have you ever told someone you listen to a certain musician, only to hear the response: “of course you do?” It may be startling to be told that you are exactly who someone expected you to be. I’ve been told more times than I can count that I am the living stereotype of an “indie girl,” “old soul,” or “rock chick” solely because of the music I listen to and my favorite musicians. However, I’ve come to find as much as I hate to admit it, it’s true. From my observations, most of the music we listen to and the artists we support have to do with how we think of the world and of ourselves– from our thoughts, feelings, and actions to how we express ourselves through our style and hobbies.

We are the musicians that we listen to.

we

If you’re wondering how I came to this conclusion, let me tell you. I received my Spotify Wrapped stats for 2022 and shared the results on my Insta story. My top artist was The Smiths. Soon messages started flooding in from my friends asking me if I was okay or if I had had a sad year. Whether some of the messages were sarcastic or serious, I started reflecting on my year to see if I was genuinely sad. If you’re not familiar, The Smiths are an ‘80s alternative rock band who have become synonymous with the state of sadness and loneliness on social media– kind of as a joke, kind of not. This led me to think, why was I actually into The Smiths?

Music is a huge dictator of our moods, ideas, and expressions. Think about how often you’ve been in a specific mood and put on a song that fits the vibe. Think about all your playlists, each adhering to an ultra-specific feeling, moment, or scene formed in your mind. We choose which artists, songs, or albums to listen to based on our emotional state. Every single piece of music has its own personality: a combination of what image or feeling the artist intended to create for the listener and the way the listener interprets the music for themselves. Musicians translate their own memories, experiences, and states of mind through their music. Music makes up a significant part of our lives. Much of our experiences are shaped by music. I can name countless songs that transport me to a memory of a specific time, place, or person stored in my head every time I listen. For musicians, music is a vehicle of self-expression and a way of recording their history and emotion.

Music’s messages impact how we view the world.

As I previously mentioned, every song conveys a message. Whether shallow, funny, or serious, every piece of music is a form of communication from an artist to the listener. I don’t know about you, but music has impacted my outlook on the world in countless ways. From music with political messages to songs about love and family, music has always been right beside me in every stage of my life. The ideas developed through an artist’s music impact the way we see and feel our environment. On some level, we become the artist we listen to by absorbing their viewpoint and keeping it in a part of our minds while we live our lives.

Artists’ personalities & styles affect our own.

Music is a method of communication. However, first and foremost, it is a representation of the artist who creates it. Just as the way you spend time with someone, the more their persona and yours merge; the same can be said for a musician and a listener. I gravitate toward musicians I see myself in, whose music inspires me, and who I look up to. Conversely, I find myself embracing ideas and perspectives I find in songs I become obsessed with. Music can teach one a lot, both about the world and themselves. An artist’s personality is shared through their music and can affect the way one presents themselves. I find myself wanting to be like many of the musicians I listen to, expressing myself accordingly through my sense of fashion, the way I behave or speak, or even by picking up an instrument because of them. As much as you could dislike an artist but love their music– that is possible– a part of you appreciates their music because you relate to the musician on some level or in some aspect.

While I absolutely despise Morrissey, the lead singer and lyricist of The Smiths, I can’t argue that I relate to him in some aspects, such as his feelings of nostalgia and the deep desire to find satisfaction in life. Moreover, I simply adore some of the themes, sounds, and ways in which the band expresses commentary on the world and emotion through their music. Everyone has shared experiences, such as finding love, losing someone you care deeply about, or common situations in which we grow and mature. Music is a huge way to bring like-minded people together. You will often naturally find yourself drawn to music that comes from people who share much in common with you, appealing to your sense of empathy and relatability.

Our mindsets and ideologies are influenced by what musicians post and say on social media and in interviews. Music aside, artists heavily influence audiences through what they say in interviews and on their own accord through social media. If you like a musician, you’ve likely followed them on at least one social media platform. Social media is a quick and simple way to express one’s opinions, feelings, and ideas. Worshiping a musician, or even following up with them on a regular basis, can affect our mindsets and ideologies whether we want them to or not. Musicians are variations of celebrities, and their influence is massive.

Listening to music, it’s easy to fall into the world created by an artist’s voice, lyrics, and/or a song’s atmosphere. A musician’s sorrow can quickly become our own sorrow, their anger can make us angry, and their joy can bring us joy. Maybe that explains why The Smiths played such a huge part in my 2022. When an artist’s words and storytelling impact you so greatly– and their sound appeals to your soul– you can’t help but continue indulging in their music. Soon you’re familiar with their entire discography because you ended up relating to and falling in love with the artist’s work due to your own current circumstances and interests. There’s nothing wrong with not wanting to be compared to someone else because of shallow traits like a shared style, haircut, or behavior. But being similar to a musician can be so much more than that. You are human in the end, and you will find yourself connecting to someone (who doesn’t even know you exist) more than you could ever expect.

We Need to Talk About Celebrity Couple

Age Gaps

Dating within your means is an obvious challenge for many celebrities. They’ve got it all, money, power, and occasional sex appeal. So, why do so many choose the complicated route of an age-gap relationship? Although there’s no clear answer to this question, a few fundamental factors like preference and underlying intentions play a role in forming these connections.

Romantic age gaps can be difficult to understand because they represent the complexities of human behavior. These highly publicized gaps occur when two people in a relationship vary in age, whether it

be multiple generations or just a few years. Either way, the topic is highly controversial and raises legitimate concerns most of the time.

While many have heard the philosophical saying, “love knows no age,” we live in a generation of accountability with standards in place to prevent harmful situations. Gen-Z has a heightened awareness of grooming and pedophilia in the entertainment industry, which drives the rampant online discourse about age gaps. Twitter has existed as a battleground of opinions centering on the dating lives of stars like Harry Styles, who has notoriously been with older partners.

MIND THE GAP

Despite the emphasis on accountability in youth today, generations prior experienced age gaps as a societal norm. Whether it be twenty years or centuries ago, having an older partner was not a wild occurrence. In the current decade, intense couple age gaps are not the most prominent relationship out there, but they are hard to miss once you become aware of them. A rude awakening comes when you realize what you thought was a father-and-daughter duo is actually a romantic couple. Although age-gap relationships garner mixed reactions, most people protest the idea that love can be found within anyone, regardless of age and experience.

Society copes with uncomfortable age gaps through the use of candid language. Older women become ‘cougars,’ and older men are usually just called creeps. Not to mention how the media glorifies and influences the desire for trophy wives and arm candy for men to appear attractive. When stars like Leonardo DiCaprio exclusively date women in their twenties, the internet releases a collective sigh, perpetually accustomed to

these shared problematic preferences. This phenomenon is backed up by research from sources like the Zoosk dating app, which finds that over half of the male population is attracted to younger women. However, there’s no surprise there.

However, times are changing as older women who go after much younger men aren’t as accepted as in past times. Today’s women are held to the same standard as men and called out for inappropriate behavior. Hence Sam and Aaron Taylor-Johnson with an age gap of 23 years. The couple has garnered endless criticism on the internet, with fans begging for a divorce on behalf of Aaron. Still, many women are in relationships with men between two and twenty years younger than them, according to an analysis of U.S. Census Bureau data, matching the stereotype of the opposite gender. However, it’s important to note that love has no expiration date. Everyone deserves to experience it regardless of age, but not without skepticism from anyone with an opinion.

Power imbalances are a major issue in Hollywood today and in the past, prompting the question: Is love actually love if someone has power, knowledge, and age as an advantage over their partner?

The line between age gaps and grooming isn’t always obvious, but the signs become clear when celebrities are under the microscope. If one person in a relationship is a minor when they meet their much-older partner, it’s often a case of grooming and can feed off of naivety and inexperience.

Society is shaped to frown upon the abuse of power, although this persists despite common guidelines in the workplace and beyond. Whether it be professors and students, directors and actors, or CEOs and employees, relations acted upon by power imbalances continue. Victim blaming also tends to happen often in cases of power abuse, especially when the younger part of a couple is above the age of consent, even if they were manipulated by the situation. Demi Lovato and Wilmer Valderrama are an example of this because, at the time, the former couple had a twelve-year age gap which contributed to problems in the relationship and led to their demise.

The constant comparisons of couples are everywhere on social media. It’s easier to think about a couple’s age gap in terms of their past experiences when contrasted with the other person in the relationship. If one partner was in diapers while another graduated college, how can the union be moral? Socially acceptable guidelines have been created over time, like

the “half-your-age-plus-seven” rule, which exists to shape the views of proper relationships. Some people argue if age gaps should actually depend on age, or rather if they should be dependent on maturity and stages in life.

Some age gaps are undetectable such as with Dwyane Wade and Gabrielle Union, who have an age gap of ten years, while others are glaringly obvious. Sarah Paulson and Holland Taylor have a gap of 32 years, which is defined by the preference and attraction of both partners.

Although we can’t all be high school sweethearts and meet at the same time in life, it’s important to consider how much of an age gap is actually tolerable. When thinking about age, it often resides on the same level as other differences like culture, background, and language: the fundamental aspects that shape who a person is. So, are age gaps so highly contested because we fear aging itself? Maybe, so.

The history of age gaps in the media is widely observed, and being in the spotlight undoubtedly contributes to the pressures of relationships and life choices. Looking at celebrity couple age gaps instead of non-celebrity couple age gaps brings up this issue. Understanding how fanbases, fame, and expectations shape a current relationship and the ones that come after is relevant to age preferences. This could be why younger stars like Olivia Rodrigo and Sofia Richie have opted for older men.

Just a Few Years...

The psychology of age gaps lies in preferences, emotional maturity, and personal taste. Almost everyone has a ‘type,’ whether it’s physically or personality based. We’ve all experienced a celebrity crush on someone of an embarrassingly older age. As we accept the aging of celebrities while still finding them attractive, are we contributing to the uncomfortable idea of age gaps, or simply appreciating the allure of maturity?

Some celebrity couples are exactly the same age and represent the stability of commonalities like that of Kate Middleton, Prince William, Kelly Ripa, and Mark Consuelos. Yet, not as many stable relationships exist within couples that are exactly the same age versus age-gap relationships. Power couples like George and Amal Clooney, with a 17-year gap, or even Michael Douglas and Catherine Zeta-Jones, who are divided by a 25-year age gap, represent the successful nature of differences in age.

As we continue to be entertained by the peculiar tastes of celebrities, let us not underestimate their enduring power. Whether you love or hate celebrity couples who happen to have an age gap, we have to admit they spark interest and bring attention to diverse relationships in a unique way.

All one of a kind reworked women's apparel and handmade accessories @ggsays.hello on Instagram My Flo r a Metaphy s i c a l C r y s t la pohS S o u t he ast 4th St r e e t #26 , Boca R a t o n F L 23433

As modern humans, we want it all. We want fortune, a great job, and the perfect life—the American dream. We have been taught that the only way to achieve this is to work ourselves to the point of mental death. When we reach this point, do we truly have it all? Also known as burnout culture, the term hustle culture was coined from the idea that overworking and not allowing yourself time to rest is the only way to be successful. If you give work your full, undivided attention, you can achieve anything you desire. Any time taken for rest should make you feel guilty.

Hustling is at an all-time high in the U.S. right now, and avoiding the pressure to push yourself to the absolute limit is nearly impossible. The average American adult spends over 2,000 hours per year at work. U.S. college students don’t fall far behind, spending around 1,700 hours per year on the clock. Keep in mind that students are expected to take 12-15 credit hours of classes per semester. This means that a student may spend anywhere from 30-50 hours in school or at work every week. As a 20-year-old sophomore in college, I am completely caught up in the hustle. Not even two years into my college career, I can declare that I am burnt out. I am exhausted. This feelingof absolute enervation got me wondering: when did this become the incentive of American society, and why?

Hustle culture is a concept that was born in the 1970s and has been a driving force for Americans since. During the 20th century, the U.S. underwent a change called the “Third Industrial Revolution.” In the late ‘40s and early ‘50s, consumers started making more money. As a result, they wanted a large variety of products to spend it on. Employees were expected to work quickly to keep up with growing consumer demand. There were no time limits on hours worked. To remain in competition with other factories, companies had to keep their costs low and their productivity high. This highly sought-after increase in productivity meant more workers needed to be added to the workforce. The oil shock of 1973 caused heavy inflation and negative shifts in the U.S. economy. Due to increasing prices, the workforce was pushed even harder than before to make the earnings necessary to provide for their families and, in many cases, to survive simply.

The birth of hustle culture was molded around societal norms during the early 20th century. In the ‘20s, the 9-5 workday emerged. During this period, women were viewed as secondary income earners. The “men of the household” were expected to provide financially. Women were expected to stay home with the kids and tend to the house.

Toward the middle of the 20th century, it became easier for women to get an education, and it became more common for women to have short-lived careers. By the 1970s, women were expected to work for most of their adult life. A change in the structure of home life occurred; we now see both parents working to provide and trying to take care of their children simultaneously. And just like that, in 1971, the term “workaholic” was brought into the English vocabulary.

the 20th century the 21st century

People are now getting jobs requiring higher education, and the push began for people to go to college before entering the workforce. Gen X and millennials were truly the first generations to make going to college a common occurrence. Habits of late-night studying and doing heavy amounts of schoolwork to obtain a degree were formed. These practices were then brought to the American workforce.

Going into the 21st century, technology evolved, and social media was formed. It’s evident that social media users use the space to express personal opinions and ideas. It wasn’t very hard to predict that an entire network of “hustlers” would become prominent on social media. These creators influence others to “grind” and overwork themselves to achieve success. Some prime examples of these creators are Andrew Tate and Elon Musk, who preach the idea that you don’t need the talent to become successful–you just need to work your ass off. Social media is one of the most significant reasons why hustle culture is as prominent as it is in our society today.

We’ve reached the point where overworking is entirely romanticized. It’s become a positive attribute, even considered heroic. Unhealthy ambitions are overshadowing basic well-being. We are expected to feel empowered by hard work leading to success, but we are all just ending up burnt out. I’m praised at work for putting my schooling second and prioritizing the success of someone else’s business. Taking time off is laughable and can even ensure threats of being fired. In this, I know I am not alone. Quitting is not an option because how would we pay for our hundreds of dollars worth of textbooks? How do we pay our costly (and rising) rent, afford to drive a car, or buy groceries as food prices continue to skyrocket?

As members of Gen Z, we are entering adulthood at the peak of a f*cked-up government. Politics have become a reality show, and inflation is rising with no end in sight. We are given fewer retirement options than any prior generation; many economists even predict a “retirement crisis” for Gen Z and millennials. We will remain caught up in the never-ending hustle if we don’t make changes now. 50% of young adults report having poor mental health, and this statistic will only continue to rise as we grow older and are pulled deeper into the capitalist workforce.

I may not know why humans were put on this Earth, but I know we are not here to live solely to make a dollar. Is life truly worth living if it is going to be spent working our asses off for material things? Hustle culture is, on all levels, completely toxic, and it’s time our country collectively breaks away from that. This is easier said than done, and it will make adjustments to the people in power and the minds of the individuals who take their place. In the meantime, change can start small. Set boundaries with work, and find employers who will respect them. Don’t overcommit simply to please other people. Live your life on your terms, not on anyone else’s. Pursue personal ambitions, but do it feasibly. There will always be more time. Allow for time to care for your mind and body. Give yourself the space to have fun and appreciate the time you have to be present and alive.

The S c Hair n our e ret s i Held

There were some Sundays growing up I would absolutely dread. Not because I had procrastinated doing my homework or because I had to go to school the next day. It was because of my hair. I couldn’t possibly go anywhere with my hair not styled, let alone school facing the impending judgment from my peers. I was so ashamed of the way it looked and the way it didn’t. I wished it was straighter, looser, or longer.

After the color of your skin, your hair is the largest divider in society. The thing that grows out of almost everyone’s head is one of the largest parts of your identity. Yet, growing up with type 4 hair, you’re never really given a chance to love and accept it. As most people’s hair falls, my hair grows. Puffing, kinking, and coiling in an ‘unconventional’ way. Constantly noticing the differences in my hair and placing so much value on something far out of control. So, like many, instead of finding ways to accept it, changing, hiding, and praying that it would hopefully change seemed easier.

After being subject to so much colorism, racism, featurism, and classism, why must our hair be the next oppressor? Texturism is the idea that certain hair textures are indicators of superior status in society. For Black women, our hair does not just grow out of our heads; it’s part of how we are perceived in many settings. It’s easy to feel ashamed of the hair on your head, but we don’t really hate it. It seems easier than the alternative: to wake up one day and decide that you won’t let society dictate your image.

Dread: an emotion I’m sure most women with type 4 hair are familiar with. Meaning ‘with great fear’ – the feeling and, funny enough, the equivalence of a typical Black hairstyle. And it seems so surprising how hard it is for Black people to accept their hair. When your identity depends on your hair, and society constantly reminds you that it’s not good enough, your self-image depletes.

It also didn’t help that our only representation in the media was mixed girls

with looser curls. One thing I’ll never forget was when I was a kid watching my favorite show, Winx Club; it was the episode where the only Black girl on the show had her hair in an afro and was sobbing. “A catastrophe,” one of them says about her hair. Her friends looked bewildered and concerned, gasping at the sight of her hair. My hair looked just like hers, and although she was a cartoon character, who’s to say that in real life, people wouldn’t think that way about mine?

A common phase most Black women go through is the rejection of our natural beauty. It is ingrained into most people’s brains that the closer you are to European qualities, the better. A result of our surroundings and seeing how our white counterparts are treated compared to ourselves. Since you can’t change your skin’s color, you change your hair’s chemistry. Relaxers and texturizers are filled with chemicals meant to damage your hair. Allowing you to gain just a fragment of fake confidence, but at what cost? Damaged hair for societal benefits?

Black women don’t always have the luxury that others do regarding their hair. Seeing girls freely cut and dye their hair, not afraid of the consequences, the expectations, or the fear that it might not grow back. The main concern is “I hope it looks good” and not “will this be acceptable for work?” or “is this okay for school?” How comfortable, confident, and pretty Black women feel is based on the status of their hair. Feeling that you can’t wear your hair a certain way because it won’t look good on you or it would be “too Black.”

There are secrets that only our hair knows. The things we tell ourselves in confidence, the negative experiences we and our hair also go through. There is trauma that has been put on our hair and trauma that comes from our hair, physically and emotionally. Because of so many external factors causing internal problems, our hair actually suffers. Not only that, you start to suffer as well. Worry and emotional stress can harm your mental health, causing hair loss. There have been dozens of research studies to test the theory.

One done explicitly by Harvard University Researchers showed that chronic stress impaired hair follicle stem cells confirming that stress causes hair loss. Another study demonstrated that prolonged stress levels can cause telogen effluvium: when your hair falls out after stressful situations. Three months after a stressful event, you will notice hair loss, and the only way for your hair to grow back is for the stress to go away.

It seems like a never-ending toxic cycle to stress about your hair because it doesn’t look a certain way or the desired length, but that just so happens to be why it doesn’t grow.

One thing all women are subject to is the sudden urge to chop their hair off. It might seem impulsive and avant-garde. However, that impulse to do so is a reaction to all of the physical and emotional trauma; the longer your hair is, the more negative experiences it carries. As it holds grief, sadness, and trauma.

Getting rid of all that trauma and all that hate is intuitive guidance telling you that it’s okay to start relieving some of those anxieties. If you need to cut it or do something you’ve never done before, you are already on your way to healing.

Hair is such a big part of people’s sense of control. But, as a reminder to all women, society shouldn’t stop us from doing what we want with our hair. Although it’s not easy to let go of the pressures society places on you, there’s a point when you realize that some things are out of your control. And when you start putting energy into the things that make you happy and healthy, you know that dying, cutting, and changing your hair is meant to be empowering. So maybe the secrets won’t control you but will guide you to a better sense of self.

L

Have you ever wondered what it’s like to walk in the shoes of the luckiest person alive? Well, you should know! Stop looking around the room! Yes, I’m talking to you! Why would there be anyone else? Being the luckiest person alive isn’t about what you have or who you know. Being the luckiest person alive is a mindset. It’s a mindset that needs to be put into practice on a daily basis. Once you put in the work and align your values with being the person who deserves anything and everything that you could possibly imagine, it all starts to come true for you.

Photography by Kimara Pretlow, Johnny Cantwell, and Melania Zilo Art and layout by Rajan Garg Styling by Sydni Torrero and Antonia Mazza Makeup by Sam Acello Talent Anika Chhabra

Did I coin the term “Lucky Girl Syndrome”? Unfortunately, I did not. I wish I did, though. With over 659.9 million views on TikTok, the hashtag #LuckyGirlSyndrome took the video app by storm as users worldwide shared their stories and experiences regarding applying the new-ish mindset to kickstart 2023. It’s unknown who first posted about LGS (Lucky Girl Syndrome). However, the trend mainly started when TikTok user @lauragalebe posted a video describing herself as “one of the luckiest people [she] knows.” As the video creator did her make-up routine, she was retelling how she told everyone she was “so lucky.” If something does not work out for her, it’s because a better opportunity is coming around the corner. The TikToker then mentions she would not call this “toxic positivity” because she genuinely believes the best things happen to her. The creator’s TikTok account mainly consists of motivational speaking videos about manifesting, getting everything that’s meant for you, and positive affirmations. Personally, I enjoy this type of content amidst all of the noise and negativity that already exists. Some people call it preachy and nonsense; I say it’s the perfect amount of optimism and delusional to maybe turn that sh*tty day around.

Aligning your values with your goals is a big stepping stone when starting to believe the “Lucky Girl” mindset and knowing that all of your dreams are at your fingertips. Doing these practices are just as crucial as doing morning affirmations; there isn’t just one way to step into this mindset. There are numerous ways to tap into that higher self that’s inside of you. You can create your own reality through scripture, meditating, or just visualizing that life you want for yourself. Dearest Strike reader, don’t roll your eyes at me. I know it all sounds a bit much. But I promise I wouldn’t steer you in the wrong direction.

LGS could also be confused with being a bit delusional, but like, who gives a sh*t? I’d rather be delusional and have some sort of belief system that everything is going to work out for me than be doubting my next step constantly. I won’t sit here and say I’m always confident, and I don’t have moments where I doubt myself; as a soonto-be grad, life couldn’t be more up in the air. These are the moments to channel that lucky girl energy. Although moments of self-doubt exist, we must do our best to push through and show up as our most confident selves.

Having a belief system in yourself gives you the freedom to let go. When you walk into a room, it’s essential to not only believe that you are the luckiest person in the room, but that you are the most desirable person ever to step foot on this planet. Does it sound extremely silly? Probably! Does it sound ridiculously delusional? Oh, of course it does, but so does achieving your biggest, wildest dreams. That’s probably the most delusional aspect out of all of this. We dream big over here, you could be manifesting getting into med school, and the person next to you could be fully convinced they will marry Pedro Pascal. I am rooting for both of you! I don’t know what your goal is, but if you’re determined, willing, and aren’t a stalker, keep it moving and don’t look back. Don’t forget about me when you’re sending out wedding invites, though. L

No matter who you ask, everyone has at least one dream they have tucked away in the back of their mind that they would love to achieve but don’t believe would ever happen. Emulating that lucky girl energy is all about turning that doubt into certainty that you’ve already gotten what you wanted; it’s just coming to you at a later time.

L L

BLINDED BLINDED BLINDED BLINDED

What other types of practices does someone with “Lucky Girl Syndrome” participate in? Things like tarot card pulling, washing crystals under a full moon, and meditating to high-frequency audios are only a few of the many activities that can help you raise your vibration and be delusional as f*ck, which then leads you to be the coolest person in the room. Letting everyone know you’re the luckiest girl alive is a way of life, so putting these practices into action makes sense. Who’s to say you have to go on this “Lucky Girl” era all alone? If I were you, I’d spread this energy around to the people closest to you. What’s better than seeing your immediate circle of friends thriving? Go ahead and spread that lucky girl magic dust to your friends, the UPS delivery guy, and any doubter who crosses your path.

2023 is the year of high vibrations and believing we get everything our inner child’s heart desires. Speaking for myself and speaking for myself only, I am constantly working on self-doubt and probably will be for the rest of my days. Every day a new situation arises where I have to learn to see the self-doubt thoughts, acknowledge them, and kindly invite them to leave me the hell alone because I’ve got dreams and goals to take care of. That being said, the “Lucky Girl Syndrome” mentality has permitted me to let myself believe that everything is at my fingertips. Next time you see Harry Styles’ new GF headlines and you see my name, don’t act surprised, and just remember this article!

ENTLY PERMAN

ON DO NOT DISTURB

It can be safe to say that posting has gone from casual to curated. As so many people are trying to romanticize the everyday, everyone has turned their feeds and profiles into mini museums of their lives. Photo dumps are swipeable art galleries of the right picture at the right time. Everything and everyone is fulfilling an aesthetic or “-core” of some kind– and if they aren’t, they’ve become their own. This obsession with categorizing, labeling, and boxing in one’s own life, or even others, is so limiting and takes away the fun of posting about your life altogether. There is nothing wrong with taking a break from the performance of performing for others online and just living for yourself.

Life isn’t meant to be lived in a 1080 by 1920 pixelated frame. It’s meant to be experienced. Let’s be honest; trying to live behind a screen is not living at all. Don’t be an overgrown iPad kid. Phones aren’t even designed around people; they’re designed around the habits of people. Apps like Tiktok and Instagram are meant to keep you scrolling, swiping, comparing, and consuming. In a study done in 2019 by the International Journal of Environmental Research and Public Health, researchers looked into the psychology of social media addiction. A term that comes up is “Freemium,” which refers to social media and gaming platforms that are free to download but have ads constantly being shown in-app. But this Freemium isn’t just in the ads these apps put out. It’s also in the content so many people watch: a stay-at-home wife restocking her fridge that has an excessive amount of plastic containers that you can find linked on her Amazon storefront, the fifteen-yearold making a “what’s in my (designer) bag,” and an influencer doing a “what I spend in a day” –and conveniently it’s during a day that’s packed with events and eating out.

This kind of consumption eventually catches up with people as they psychologically start equating material items to a lifestyle they want to replicate for themselves. Playing the comparison game is only going to hurt when you realize you’re the only one playing.

To avoid this and the minding numbing act of tapping your life away, go outside

and touch some grass. Switching between apps until you realize it’s two in the morning is not doing you any good. You can do so many things with your time and energy instead of just comparing your life with the highlight reel of other people’s lives. Try working through that list of books, or the ones already sitting on your shelf, that you said you were planning on reading. To romanticize that experience for yourself, take that book and yourself to a local coffee shop you’ve been meaning to check out. Meditate and do some yoga without making sure your yoga mat and water bottle follow the rule of thirds when trying to make it aesthetic enough to post. Plan a themed dinner party with friends just because you feel like it, and keep that night to yourselves. If you’re out with friends, there are still so many things you can do: go to an open mic night, watch a local band play at a bar, go bar hopping, paint in the park, have a beach picnic– and do all of this without posting a single photo of your night out.

If you’re sentimental and want to hold on to these memories, get a camera of any kind and record them there.

TURN OFF THAT PHONE

When you’re doing this, refrain from even thinking about downloading it on your phone just to post it. Let yourself live and use technology that gives you no option to share it. Force yourself to remain present because the time you have now is the time you’ll never get back.

So stop worrying about posting and trying to make sure every moment of your life is picture-perfect. Romanticize your everyday life for yourself and no one else. Post the cute photos you take every once in a while, and remember that not every picture needs to, or has to be, post-ready. Photo dumps are swipeable art galleries of the right picture at the right time. Exist in the moments you find yourself in wholly. Turn off that phone and live permanently on do not disturb.

The Key to Happiness and Fulfillment?

It’s common for the heaviness of complex things we encounter to take over our thoughts and actions. We often lose sight of our most important values and what we actually want to get out of life. Some people have so much going on that they may believe it’s not possible for them to live fully and happily. However, there is a way we can become more fulfilled in life despite the seriousness and routine. The key? Be dumb.

Hear me out. Do you know those people that are just a little dumb? Those that constantly make impulsive decisions that seem to go against rationale and logic? These same people also have a sense of lightness and freedom to them. It may not always be apparent, but it’s there. When it comes to their method of doing life, they may not actually be so dumb. We can all take some advice from our fellow “dumb” people.

When I say “dumb,” I don’t mean stupid. I don’t mean just straight-up unintelligent and asinine. What I do mean is stop using your brain so much. Nine times out of ten, our thoughts get in the way of doing something delightful. We tell ourselves, “I’m too busy,” “What if it doesn’t go well,” or “It’s not doable.” What would happen if you told yourself to just shut up and do it? If you stop thinking about all the things that could go wrong and think about what could go right? Perhaps, you would finally get yourself to do all those things you’ve been telling yourself aren’t practical. Think of a vacation you’ve been putting off, a new hobby you’ve been scared to try, or something you’ve wanted to tell someone but were too anxious about. What is fueling your reluctance to do these things? Your thoughts. Your mind gets filled with “what ifs,” and before you know it, that thing that has the potential to bring joy to your life is on the back burner and completely out of your mind. Yes, better safe than sorry, but you miss 100% of the shots you don’t take.

HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY sometimes

Be a Little

what anyone else thinks.

Someone who embodied “dumbness,” as I’ve never seen before, was my brother. Not because he was stupid but because he just did. No “what ifs.” No overthinking and carefully deciding if it was practical. He just did what he thought he would enjoy. Because of this, he lived so fully. On a random summer day a few years ago, he and his friends decided to go camping. They didn’t plan anything out; they just went. As he told it, they hiked up a mountain with nothing to eat but a 30-pack of beers. They intended to go fishing, but when that didn’t work out, they didn’t panic about where to find food. They ended up finding other campers who gave them hot dogs to eat. They also roasted a bullfrog. Is that even edible? Who knows. They had an amazing time and came home perfectly okay. “Smart” people would have said, “hell no.” They would have planned their trip for weeks and brought all the proper supplies. But there’s nothing more fun than a spontaneous outing and pushing your horizons. It makes it all the more memorable. He never failed to embrace doing things like this in his life.

Besides doing “dumb” things, another aspect of living “dumbly” is thinking dumb things. We can get dulled out when we think with logic and practicality 24/7. Our dreams that seem unrealistic fade to dust, and our desires of wanting to be perceived by others favorably take over. What would you do if there was no one in the world to judge you (besides if you committed crimes or acted in toxic ways)? That is the “dumb” kind of mindset that will lead you

to happiness. It might be “dumb,” but it makes you happy. So what? Be dumb.

While incorporating “dumbness” into your life, It’s important to remember to do it smartly (counterintuitive, I know). Don’t do things that will put yourself or others in apparent danger. Start small, perhaps by saying “yes” to things you wouldn’t usually agree to. Take that lastminute trip, try something new and intimidating, and allow yourself to do something fun, even if you may feel as if you are too busy. A good thing to remember is it’s not that serious. Life can be challenging, but incorporating exhilarating activities will help make it more satisfying. It’s time to prioritize your happiness.

Sometimes it’s beneficial to stop overthinking so much and just do things that bring you joy. This might not always be the “smart” way of thinking, but it will lead to a more enriching life. We often feel we need to be on the “grind” constantly. As previously mentioned, thinking like this all the time can cause a person to feel tired and empty. We may forget that allowing ourselves to partake in things solely because we enjoy them is vital to our well-being. After all, we’re here for a good time, not a long time. When it comes down to it, all that really matters is that you lived a fulfilling life. In order to do that, sometimes we may have to think “dumbly” and stop thinking about what the most logical thing is. This might not always be possible, but when it is possible, go for it. Don’t hesitate to do something “dumb” for the sake of your happiness. Take it from my brother.

In loving memory of Charlie Nelson

F*CK

I have a question for the world. Why don’t women feel comfortable talking about masturbation? This is a blunt conversation; warning, awkwardness may be felt while reading. Although it’s a topic that must be analyzed. Regardless if you’re a male or female, masturbation is totally normal and comes naturally.

Undoubtedly, it feels phenomenal and is a great way to get to know your body. For men, it’s pretty simple because a penis is significantly more sensitive than a vagina— meaning it’s considerably easier for guys to have an orgasm. Not fair, I know; why is everything so difficult for women? There are so many nooks and crannies of the vagina. So, if you’re not masturbating, you’re only cheating yourself.

destigmatizing female M A S B

Women generally agree that discussing sex isn’t as uncomfortable as discussing individual pleasure because it’s less intimate and private. For women, sex is significantly more welcomed than masturbating. It all routes back to satisfying male desires, and that conversation of male desires is always much easier. This and masturbation are double standards for women. This dates back to early sexual education. I recently talked to my sister about the topic, and she made an interesting point

When you first learn about the basics of sex and the body as a young teenager, usually, the teachers choose one day to discuss the male components of puberty and the other day for the female components of puberty.

My sister pointed out that the boys were told about their biological needs and learned that it’s normal to satisfy those biological needs (masturbating).

At the same time, we girls were only taught about our menstrual cycles and birth control— how to keep ourselves free of STDs and avoid pregnancy. The teachers never mentioned self-pleasure; they never even insinuated to the girls that it was okay. By the way, I can’t recall the boys ever being taught about condoms or how to put one on, but maybe that was just my program. The fact that this stigma is so strong it lingers in school systems is just wrong. It’s such a simple, silly thing that can be fixed.

TAWe, girls, face many challenges in life that men could never even fathom, like having an orgasm during sex. Honestly, I highly doubt guys even know what it’s like to be so excited about sex and then experience the biggest letdown of your life and accomplish absolutely nothing through intercourse. Newsflash ladies! This doesn’t have to be the case. This really great thing I mentioned earlier can help you out…masturbation! Masturbation? As a young woman, how could I speak of such a thing? We’re going to cut the bullshit right now. By the end of this article, I promise you, your mom, your best friend, and maybe even your dog will be a female masturbation advocate.

To answer my first question, “Why don’t women feel comfortable discussing masturbation?” I think the answer is obvious: the reaction from society. The negative judgment that stops women from openly discussing self-pleasure seeds from the misogynistic views that men created way back when. Why do those views still apply?

I couldn’t tell you. This stigma around women openly discussing self-pleasure needs to end.

T U R

Tami Rowen, M.D., an obstetrician and gynecologist specializing in sexual health at the University of California San Francisco, says the best way to know your preferences is by exploring your own body. “I feel like it’s a little bit presumptuous to say that most people masturbate to orgasm, “ she says. Why would I masturbate if I’m not going to orgasm? What Dr. Rowen means is that sometimes it takes a little while to figure out what will make you orgasm.

Everyone is different; some people masturbate vaginally through penetration or clitorally, using their other erogenous zones or all of these. Just from talking about it with friends, it seems to me that clitoral stimulation is the fan favorite. The Mayo Clinic says that most women masturbate clitorally to get off. There are so many different sex toys these days that target either your G spot or clitoris, and I would hate to never try them. As said earlier, everyone has different tastes, and that being said, the intensity and method of the specific clitoral stimulation one enjoys varies.

Female masturbation is stigmatized in society, making females feel embarrassed for participating in what most boys consider normal. Religion and other factors may justify withholding masturbation discussions, but gender should definitely not be one of them. I’m happy to call myself a female masturbation advocate, and I invite you to enjoy the club.

I feel that destigmatizing female masturbation starts with openly discussing it, not giving a f*ck what boys or anyone think about it. The discussion can be helpful, it’s how you learn what you like and don’t like, which will help you in the bedroom, and your sex life will be incredibly less disappointing, I assure you. What’s the point of sex if you’re not going to finish? There is none, so you must explore yourself to find out what works for your body so that it’s all worth it when you are intimate.

IDr. Rowen explained that some people don’t enjoy having their clitoris directly touched because it’s very sensitive. Granting that is the situation, Dr. Rowen suggests you touch the side of it to avoid an irritating feeling. In addition, she encourages you to experiment with different parts of your body to find out what you like. Maybe you’ll get an even better orgasm when you tug on your nipples while rubbing your clitoris. The combinations are endless!

There’s no need for this topic of discussion to be taboo anymore. It is said that orgasms enhance your mood, relieve stress, and even ease any discomfort you may be experiencing. Masturbating is a chance to connect with yourself, so you can communicate better with others about how to please you. Getting on a deeper personal level with yourself makes you feel more comfortable in your skin; without that confidence, it’s harder to share yourself with others. It goes without saying that pleasure is impressionistic, so what feels right to you when you masturbate might be the complete opposite of what your other friends enjoy.

O N

tho cooking is

a

hhhh food. We all love food on some level. We eat because we need food to survive and thrive. But when it tastes good, that’s where the fun starts. And when you cook, you have the freedom to make your food taste however you like. Not only does cooking become a super fun hobby, but there are so many benefits to be gained from cooking that many people probably do not notice at first. It is healthy for you not only physically but mentally as well. There is much more than meets the eye.

Cooking is hot.

Cooking is healthy. And being healthy is sexy.

Let’s

unpack.

One of the most important aspects and benefits of cooking is that it is so therapeutic. I cannot emphasize this enough. I think we all know that feeling when you get home after what felt like the longest and most challenging day of your life, only to realize that you have some more homework to do. Then you get stressed out and panic about how much stuff you have to do. The next thing you know, it’s two in the morning, and you have not eaten. You’re tired and hungry, but it is too late to order food, and you have no groceries because all you have been doing is ordering food.

Now imagine this. You get home from that same long day, except instead of overworking yourself all night, you open your fridge. You take some time to cook yourself a tasty meal with your favorite music playing in the background. While cooking, you have time to unwind, relax, and think. During this time, you will probably realize that you do not need to stress yourself out and can calmly focus on your homework. The more you cook for yourself, the more time you have to slow your brain down. This is how cooking can be therapeutic. Cooking can be your time to think about things with a clearer head or get your mind off something and think about something else or nothing at all. We all need this time to clear our heads and organize our thoughts. Without this, our heads are jumbled, we can’t think straight, and nobody wants to live like that.

Cooking can also help you to realize things about yourself that you may not have known before. See, I love cooking. But for most of my life, as a conscious human being, I have hated cooking. My dad went to culinary school, and my mother’s side of the family is Italian, so I grew up eating great food. Even though I have always loved food and always had really appetizing food around, I never liked the cooking part, and my mother always said I was a picky eater. I liked the food that I liked, and that was really it. I used to wonder why I should try new foods if I already loved the food I ate and didn’t desire anything else.

On top of that, it just seemed to me like cooking was a lot of work, and then you had to set the table and clean up after the fact. I was correct in thinking it might be quite a bit of work, but it was in my senior year of high school when I realized the work was worth it. And boy, was I wrong to be a picky eater. I do not remember exactly how it happened. Something must have just clicked in my brain that made me say, “Hey, dad! I want to cook this super cool and delicious thing you made for me that one time!” And the rest is history. I was opened up to an entire world of flavor, comfort, love, and beautiful, beautiful tastes and smells.

The more we cook, the more outgoing I believe we become. To me, cooking is an art, and the art of cooking can translate into many other things and influence different aspects of our lives. For example, trying out new flavor combinations, such as merging Italian and Chinese flavor profiles, is what the basis of being outgoing is. You are trying something new that you had not heard of before. Maybe the flavors blend really well together, and you realize you love being outgoing and trying new things. I have realized that playing background jazz music while making and eating French food makes me feel something I cannot feel from any other experience. If you try cooking naked, you may realize that you actually love your body which might have been something you did not know before. Your outlook on your life might change for the better. Or you will find out that you need to change a toxic habit.

Maybe you will realize you want to open a café that doubles as a used bookstore where you sell your favorite sandwiches that you have come up with over the years, and your coffee is always brewed fresh. You have live jazz bands playing there every Saturday night, and you can hear the music from the street outside. It always feels like you are in Vincent Van Gogh’s painting “Café Terrace at Night.”

This is how cooking can be therapeutic.

Now we all know that when you cook for yourself, you control the ingredients, which means you’re controlling exactly what you put in your body. Meaning that you can cook healthier, cleaner food. Your body will thank you, I promise.

Over the years, the more time I have spent cooking, the more I have realized how much I love it. I love how healthy it is for my body, mind, and soul to be eating better than fast food. Our minds and bodies are very intertwined with each other. A healthy body already puts you on track for a healthy mind. Not only that but taking the time out of my day to cook has been so therapeutic. I learned that I should spend more time alone with my thoughts. It takes my mind off of day-to-day stress. I have discovered new flavor combinations that I love. I have impressed people with the food that I make. I am happier and healthier. My dreams have changed. Trying new things is hot. Cooking is hot. We know one thing for sure: we are on this Earth for at least this one life that we have. Experience new things. Taste new flavors. Smell new smells. Learn about yourself. Know yourself. Cook!

the epitome of perfection is a struggle forced upon so many women everywhere. Outperforming until it becomes as natural as breathing. Living paradigms of effortless effort, to the point no one can remember the last time they weren’t put together. Everything is curated and custom-made: overpriced lace fronts, braids that took too long, and eyebrows and lashes done by the nail tech that does everything. From head to toe, dripped out in degrees, diplomas, and certificates –nothing can or will fall out of line. All of this physical and academic work just to combat the silent demand a majority of Black women face in the workplace to be as perfect as they can inhumanly be.

CEB O MING

BLACK GIRL BURNOUT

At times, it seems as though all this work is a fruitless effort. The unending pursuit of having the perfect resume paired with the perfect cover letter, only to be outperformed by those with half or less the work. BAs and MBAs becoming a growing collection on shelves collecting dust. In recent years in the US, Black women have slowly become the most educated group of women in America. According to a study done by the National Center For Education Statistics on Black Women’s higher education, 68% had associates degrees, 66% had bachelor’s degrees, 71% had masters degrees, and 65% had doctorate degrees. Black women are not only highly educated but also highly employed as they also account for 71% of the workforce. These women have achieved so much and yet for so many of them it’s too much –and for a good reason.

Every job becomes a battle to get a pay raise– even if they’ve been given responsibilities that aren’t even a part of the job. The well-deserved recognition for Black women isn’t always given, and when it is, it’s to be expected that these flowers will be awarded once they’re gone– or once they’ve done the impossible and superseded everyone’s expectations and prejudices. And the seat at the table they were promised ends up being the table no one else but them is sitting at. The pressure of perfection without the proper payoff is a relentless fight to be un-willingly signed up for.

But what other options have they been given? Socially speaking, Black women are at the crux of two social issues: sexism and racism. Both of these problems pervade every part of their lives, and unfortunately it’s magnified in the workplace. Research and stud-

ies put together by the Harvard Business Review discussed the discrimination and stereotypes Black women have to combat on a day to day basis. Once they got the job, two-thirds of the Black women surveyed felt as though they had to “prove” their worth to coworkers. When questioning authority, making suggestions, or setting boundaries, they are more likely to be perceived as aggressive compared to their white counterparts. Even when expressing this attitude, this behavior is attributed more so to her personality rather than the situation.

This behavior in the workplace has been so commonplace and normalized that it trickles down to payroll. In the workforce, the pay gap between women and men hasn’t narrowed much in the past two decades. According to the Pew Research center, it’s only gone from women making 80% of what a man makes to 82%. However when looking closer at these statistics, it’s not an accurate representation of the pay gap as it only highlights the pay gap between white men and women. When looking at the pay gap for Black women, they only make 63 cents for every dollar a white man makes –and that pay is dependent on her education level. If she only has a bachelor’s degree, she will make 65% of what a white man makes, but those with masters degrees make 70%. Knowing this, it would be assumed that these women aren’t alone in this work pay struggle but even Black men don’t face this issue. When you compare the pay gap both of these groups of people face, Black men make 87 cents to a dollar –which is 24 cents more than Black women. Even in this struggle, Black women can’t seem to find solace in this struggle with either parts of their identities counterparts.

All of this is disheartening to know and understand that this is normal. To be burdened with the responsibility of being the spokesperson of your race in the office while also dealing with all the discrimination that comes with it is unfair. Being forced to work around the sexism, racism, workplace discrimination, and unwarranted prejudices can take a toll, especially on one’s mental health. With all these demands, Black women are more likely to experience accelerated biological aging due to the stress. In a study conducted by the National Library of Medicine, it says that by the time Black women are between ages 49 to 55, they are biologically older than white women by 7.5 years.

Even though we see the glitz and glamor of these well awarded women on the covers of TIME, Vogue, and Forbes they shouldn’t have had to experience such things to be celebrated. These women should not have to deal with any of these things to begin with. Combatting these systemic and social issues on a day-to-day basis with little to no support or empathy is a mental toll no one should have to deal with. The trial by fire of living as a Black woman shouldn’t be applauded once she’s covered in

burn
artandlayoutbymelaniazilo
s writtenbyalyssaquarrie

So F*cking

Zen

Photography by

branden connelley, caitlyn cano, and sterling smith

Styling By

Talent

nelson

marckender louicena

once tweeted, “Kill the urge to be chosen. CHOOSE URSELF.” This quote is reflective of today’s society because the people pleasers are finally healing. Being alone with yourself can be jarring, but meditation is one way to learn to be okay with yourself. Meditation is one of the best ways to become so f*cking zen. So start to choose yourself, because others are choosing themselves too.

We are born alone, and we die alone. Morbid, yes, but it’s a hard truth that many can’t come to terms with, even in old age. Humans are social creatures. We’re meant to be community driven. However, society has turned us into self-interested mammals, no longer interested in the issues of others. While that’s a bad thing in certain aspects, it’s not entirely wrong and shouldn’t be. Some-

Stimes, people learn the hard way that things are better off prioritizing themselves. The difference is you don’t need an act of betrayal of someone you trust to start.

Choose Yourself

People aren’t people-pleasing anymore because we, specifically Gen-Z, aren’t putting up with others’ bullsh*t. This is how things should’ve been anyways, but energy vampires are everywhere. While staying away from energy-draining people is sometimes inevitable, we know to no longer feed into it. Therefore, the people pleasers will no longer be the bait to these toxic individuals.

Distancing yourself from others can be challenging but sometimes necessary. Someone may need to do this for many reasons, but it usually doesn’t end well. The other party can attack you for going ghost, and make you seem like the villain. When did society make it a bad thing to put yourself first, yet encourage others to be self-interested? Putting yourself first should be your priority at all times. While caring for loved ones is essential too, nothing should come between your necessities.

ZA

Unpopular opinion: the concept of being selfish, self-centered, and putting yourself first shouldn’t have the negative connotation it has today. It sounds a bit crazy, but it’s true. Only we know what we truly need, so why can’t we give whatever that is to ourselves? No one knows you better than you know yourself.

Those constantly seeking external validation will never experience complete satisfaction. Now read that again. It sounds harsh, but it’s another hard truth that I’m willing to share with you. I understand why many love external validation; I do too. It feels good to be supported by others in your decisions about whatever it is you just got it from. But for others, it can become obsessive, and you do things for the sole purpose of receiving external validation. The only way to truly be at peace with yourself is to hold your internal validation above the external. Once you stop depending on others to tell you that you did something right, you’ll be better off.

I know what you’re thinking, “She sounds like she’s projecting from experience. This is not her blog.” While you’re kind of right, I have a point. You only need yourself to reach that total zen many of us try so hard to find. We live in the most stressful of times. The planet is burning. Humans are killing off environments. Politics and existing as a woman. What a time to be alive. We don’t have time to worry about others except ourselves, because everyone else is too.

The people who will get mad at you for putting yourself first are the same people who benefit from you putting yourself last. Choosing yourself can get very lonely. However, there’s bliss in solitude. Embracing solitude isn’t always easy for someone who’s used to always being around others, but spending time with yourself is one of the most important things you can do as a practice of self-care.

I won’t bore you with self-care tips you’ve probably heard a million times. Except one. Meditation. We all have an image of what we think must be in our heads. Someone sitting on the floor with their legs crisscrossed and holding their hands up in the air with their eyes closed. Maybe a candle is lit, and they’re sitting on the floor. The truth is, you don’t have to be Bhudda to become so f*cking zen.

look for your zen

Meditation is much simpler than many imagine and can be done in many ways. It can be whatever brings you peace while still clearing your mind in some way while being alone so you can achieve mental clarity. Mindfulness is usually the result of meditation, along with emotional stability.

Some ways to meditate can just be sitting alone outside, such as at the beach or the park, to clear your mind while enjoying the environment around you. Another way that has been proven effective for many is journaling. This includes the act of writing out your feelings, whether in the form of a diary, poems, lists, or whatever clears your mind. Don’t have the time to do either? Try deep breathing. A few deep breaths to slow your heart rate down to feel more emotionally calm in a moment of distress. Hobbies can even be considered as mediation. Focus on doing something for a moment can keep you focused on that and forget everything else—surfing, writing, making pottery, and even working out. Meditation is so easy that it can be practiced almost every day.

Becoming selfish can be one of the best things you do for yourself. In 2023, we’re leaving behind people who drain us, and instead, filling our own cup. Being alone and embracing solitude can make you so f*cking zen. Meditation isn’t one-dimensional; it’s really what you make of it. You truly don’t need anyone, and that’s a good thing.

Botanical sexism is slowly suffocating us

The is FEMALE trees future

the battle between genders is a tale as old as time, but could you imagine this debate has even involved plants? That’s right; plants can experience gender bias, a discourse that happens much more frequently than you think. Botanical sexism, a term coined by American horticulturist and allergy researcher Tom Ogren, could be why our seasonal allergies have become unbearable.

Firstly, botanical sexism, Ogren argues, refers to planting practices in urban areas where pollen-producing male plants are favored over pollen-absorbing female plants. Ogren contends that a large influx of male plants preferred over female ones leads to a higher concentration of pollen making illnesses like allergies and asthma more substantial. Trees can be one of three sexes: monecious, dioecious males, or dioecious females. With dioecious trees, the male and female flowers appear separately. Monecious trees can produce both flowers. Although many trees can be multi-sex, many single-sex male trees contribute to illness aggravated by an abnormal amount of pollen. Male trees are marketed as less maintenance and messy, resulting in them consistently being planted at more significant amounts. But are they as convenient as they seem?

Despite this, urban planners nationwide find female trees too complicated. I know, triggering; we have all been female trees at some point. VeryWell Health News says this has been happening for over 60 years. In 1949, the United States Department of Agriculture (USDA) released a yearbook of agriculture recommending replanting only male plants for specific species so that cities would not have to worry about cleaning fallen seeds and fruit from female trees. They stated that the pollen seeds from male trees would be easier to deal with than seed pods from the opposite gender. The issue with pollen is that it just falls and clings to all surfaces without female trees to absorb it.

As reported by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, pollen contributes to symptoms for nearly 60 million people in the United States with seasonal allergies and 25 million with asthma. Because emission is so closely related to environmental factors, climate change could influence an influx of pollen production and lead to a rising number of people impacted by allergenic diseases. Other factors like climate change only aggravate this issue, as rising global temperatures are causing poor air quality and the extension of allergy season to last an extra 20 days. Climate variability will drive longer and more severe pollen seasons. Following a journal published by Nature Communications in May of 2022, increasing atmospheric CO2 levels may promote an influx of pollen production.

I didn’t plan for this article to sound like an academic journal, but this is serious. So let me get to the point: people across the country suffer from allergies more than ever. Climate change is going to make it even worse. In contrast, all city planners thought male trees were easier to maintain. Man, were they wrong because if anything is “messy,” it is for sure pollen? Global warming is causing plants to procreate faster, causing longer pollinating spells. Instead, our local governments would let it be hard for us to breathe rather than plant female trees that would take a little more out of their economic tax bracket to maintain.

Female trees are seen as a lot more problematic because they leave fruit and seeds everywhere. Planting more female fruit trees could benefit urban areas and lower-income citizens. Imagine the access to healthier food options for those who cannot afford them, especially with the rising prices plaguing the marketplace. But the economy is not trying to spend extra tax money on cleaning amenities. Plus, horticulture specialists have used male trees for so long that undoing this mess will cost a pretty penny.

Long story short, men continue to cause us suffering even during spring allergy season in tree form. But female trees will take a lot of it away by doing what they were made to do naturally, sponge up pollen. Air pollution is already a massive issue for cities in urban areas. Awareness of the importance of our air quality and what is negatively impacting it can help benefit the public’s health. The solution to this debate only lies in compromise. It all depends on the decisions of urban planners and if they incorporate several female trees in city plans to balance out the male-dominated ecosystem created in urban areas. It’s crazy that the female gender has to deal with policing their reproductive system across all flora and fauna.

With global warming at an all-time high, continuing only to plant dioecious trees will make it harder for us to breathe healthy air. Planting female trees will help absorb the excessive pollen production and restore a natural balance to the ecosystem and air quality. To think city officials have been afraid to plant a couple of female trees because they don’t want to pay a little extra for fruit to be picked up off the ground? I don’t know about you, but it sounds like urban planners are simply too lazy to care about public health and would rather not spare part of our city maintenance budget for a cause that could be beneficial. A few places like Las Vegas have already begun implementing pollen control ordinances prohibiting nurseries and people from purchasing highly pollinated plants. So even if cities don’t want to plant female trees, they should be cutting the usage of male plants to a tiny number.

Awareness of what impacts your environment and health is a massive step when advocating climate change reforms. Whether it involves your way of living, the clothes you buy, or the food you eat. It’s important to remain conscious of the slow but sure changes in the world around us and how we can slow them down. Gen Z and on will be the ones that have to deal with its consequences. Social media has made it much easier to recognize environmental issues and how they will affect our future. Seriously though, who would have thought the sexism in the plant world would cause us to suffocate ourselves literally? That in itself proves to me there is no future without females.

Dopamine Fasting: Abstaining for Personal Growth

To not sound like a regurgitated WebMD article, dopamine is casually known as the “feel-good” chemical. It’s produced in parts of the brain and plays a role in almost every function of the body. Its main goal is to motivate the body. Contrary to popular belief, your decisions are not because you’re a *insert astrology sign*. It’s because your brain knows that your body produces the most dopamine when you do that thing.

Kim Cattrall, the actor who played the iconic Samantha in Sex and the City, once said she doesn’t want to be in a situation for more than an hour where

she’s not enjoying herself. Your brain feels the same way. The more dopamine an action produces, the more inclined you are to repeat it. This has to do with something in your brain called the “rewards system,” which is when your brain processes actions you make and creates a habit out of the ones that feel rewarding.

The excitement you get when you hear your favorite song. The love that fills your heart when you see your partner. The joy you feel when you buy new clothes. These are all good examples of things that give you dopamine. These jolts of dopamine are why you

have favorite songs, attract certain people, and have a specific taste for fashion. Who doesn’t want to repeat the things that make them feel best?

Dopamine is great. It’s one of the vital pieces of our anatomy that allows us to live life and express ourselves to the fullest; at its core, it will enable us to feel joy. However, there’s a catch. There is always a catch.

Dopamine is addictive. Our brains are wired to seek it. Although we can make claims of free will or appeal to the strength of willpower, our brain will always influence what the rest of our body does. If one were to feed into this constant need for dopamine, the brain would rewire to constantly need that source and be unable to complete other actions without it. Further down the road, your brain will build a tolerance to dopamine, and you’ll need to find more stimulating activities to satisfy the need. The more pleasure you’re used to feeling, the more painful it will feel when you aren’t.

This is how addictions form, and when it comes to dopamine, you can be addicted to anything. Just to name a few, people are addicted to shopping, social media, sex, drugs, attention, alcohol, food, and other people. The list could go on. Whatever to get you that quick fix of dope…amine.

Dopamine becomes a double-edged sword in this regard since you can’t help it when your brain produces it. Not all sources of dopamine are negative in their explicit use, but they can become harmful when abused. The use of cannabis can have so many benefits medically and relieve stress overall. Still, the line between it being a leisure and a crutch becomes blurred the more it gets used. Sex is euphoric when done right and with the right person. However, it can also become negative if it’s constantly sought out and obtained

without consideration for other factors like your health or emotional well-being.

In recent years, with more awareness among the public about dopamine and how it ties into mental health, a new concept was created in order to self-regulate the feel-good chemical: the dopamine fast. Originally created as a form of a “digital detox,” the idea is to abstain from using technology so that your brain can get used to the levels of dopamine it has without it. One popular form of the dopamine fast is for one day. You can only meditate, journal, drink water, walk, and think. This allows for the ultimate blockage from all sources of dopamine and is only done quarterly throughout the year. There’s not enough research to determine whether this positively affects people’s emotions or motivation, but it at least makes sense in theory. If you give your brain a dopamine tolerance break, it’ll force the brain to produce it in a healthier manner. This concept is why it’s become popular to do social media cleanse. We've realized that the dopamine social media gives us is making us overstimulated and is frying our brains. We live in an era of overindulgence. We constantly accept quantity over quality in our life, and it’s time to change.

This season, people need to take a hiatus and fast from these harmful sources of dopamine so that we can reset our brains. It’s easier said than done when you live in a country of overconsumption. However, it will do

wonders for your physical and mental health.

The main benefit would be reclaiming your focus. You have a hard time paying attention during a lecture or completing tedious assignments because the action isn’t stimulating, and it isn’t producing any dopamine. If you’ve gotten this far into the article without checking your phone, then hey, your attention span and dopamine levels are excellent. Committing to a dopamine fast will teach your brain that it doesn’t need frequent distractions when doing a task for it to be completed.

Another possible benefit from a fast could be the realization that you never needed these sources of dopamine in the first place. After weeks of hooking up with that sneaky link, you go a few days without talking to them. You start to realize that the relationship wasn’t good for anything besides a distraction. Any bad habit that you consciously try to curb can be eliminated if you put in the effort.

The primary purpose of the dopamine fast is to take a more natural and self-involved route to improve your health. Although it can benefit some to get on medication and go to therapy, it doesn’t hurt to try alternative methods for self-improvement. A break from all the things in your life that provide you with dopamine can help you develop a deeper appreciation for them and give you a clearer vision of what negative sources you can live without.

NoSTRINGS

HALEY DOCKENDORFF

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Photography by Sage Holaway Styling by Kennedy Carbert and Alexa Michel Talent Aidan Rourke and Travis Parham

During one of our morning debriefs after a long night out, my girlfriends and I discussed that we all came home the night before…alone. We were sitting together and laughing about it because, deep down, we had really come to the same unfortunate conclusion: casual hookups can be extremely draining.

Being young and single is hard. The narrative around hookup culture relies on the idea that casual sex comes with no strings attached. An established emotional connection no longer seems to be a requirement when looking for a partner. But when you really think about it, there’s no way you could prevent the transfer of energies between bodies, no matter how much you want it to be “no strings attached.”

We, as humans, are energetic bodies. Our energy is powerful, especially our sexual energy. Humans have been harnessing their sexual energy for centuries with practices like tantra. Those who practice tantra think of their bodies as a temple and use tantra to harness their power into something that can be healing or enlightening.

Tantra and practices of tantric sex date back to the 7th century, with their origins surrounding Hinduism and Buddhism. People have known for centuries that we are energetic bodies that weave and interact with one another. So why is it now in the Western culture that the narrative around sex is being pushed as a meaningless act with no emotional repercussions?

Since humans are energetic bodies,we have an aura that can interact with other auras. When interacting with these auras, we can pick up traces of other people’s energies—especially if it’s negative. This is why people who practice tantra and spirituality cleanse their auras or energies. Think of our auras as dust clouds, dropping off dust bunnies from our own auras and picking up dust bunnies from other auras we interact with. If you’re exchanging energies and interacting with people that carry lots of trauma or negative energy, that same energy will be passed onto you. You will carry the weight and burden of another person’s negative energy—and you can feel it. Have you ever been with someone who made you feel uncomfortable or uneasy, even hours and days after seeing them? That’s because you exchanged your energy with that person, and their energy is now affecting yours. To dive even deeper into it, negative energy specifically will become “trapped” in your body (from a metaphysical point of view) and can lead to a major energy imbalance and even physical ailments. It has deep and complex cultural roots, but you can use the practices in everyday life. Tantra is about establishing an emotional connection with your partner

rather than the goal being a physical pleasure. Enhancing your emotional ties with your partner makes you feel more comfortable in your intimate and personal relationships.

This generation experiences intimacy like riding a rollercoaster–the ups and downs of the unknown, the drama, and the rush that is promised when we give ourselves to another person. But these surface-level connections only go so far and teaching our youth that how we handle sex and relationships now is sustainable and healthy is wrong.

Sex isn’t something taboo–it’s something beautiful and powerful. Sex has the power to enlighten us, bringing a higher level of awareness of ourselves and the world around us when done right. In fact, a study published in the National Library of Medicine in 2020 showed, “Structural equation modeling evidenced the protective role of sexual activity toward psychological distress, relational health, and sexual health, both directly and indirectly.” It can also hinder us and hold us back from our higher selves when done wrong. Energy can either be released and transformed or collected and trapped within ourselves.

Use sex to your benefit, not your disadvantage, by choosing the right energy to surround yourself with. And maybe you don’t want some deep connection and understanding with another person–and that’s ok too. Not everything has to have some big-picture meaning or endpoint–but you should always try to protect your own energy.

At the end of the day, all of us are humans with free will. Nobody can tell you what to do with your own body. And you should always do what makes you feel good, not what others say is supposed to make you feel good. If the new casual hookup scene leaves you drained and disappointed time and time again, it might help to reconsider your sexual partners. If the scene is working for you (give us some tips!), and by all means, explore your sexuality as freely as you wish.

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Attached

4min
pages 109-118

Dopamine Fasting: Abstaining for Personal Growth

4min
pages 106-107

The is FEMALE trees future

4min
pages 104-105

look for your zen

1min
pages 101-104

So F*cking Zen

3min
pages 94-100

BLACK GIRL BURNOUT

3min
page 93

This is how cooking can be therapeutic.

1min
pages 88, 90-92

unpack.

3min
page 87

a

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page 86

T U R

2min
page 83

destigmatizing female M A S B

1min
pages 82-83

what anyone else thinks.

2min
pages 81-82

The Key to Happiness and Fulfillment?

1min
page 78

TURN OFF THAT PHONE

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page 77

ON DO NOT DISTURB

2min
pages 75-77

BLINDED BLINDED BLINDED BLINDED

1min
pages 70-73

The S c Hair n our e ret s i Held

7min
pages 64-69

the 20th century the 21st century

2min
pages 62-63

MIND THE GAP

6min
pages 57-62

We Need to Talk About Celebrity Couple Age Gaps

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pages 56-57

WriTtEn bY MELANIA ZILO aRt & LayOut By SERENA BRUNO

6min
pages 43-55

On hIaTus

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page 42

MERMAID

4min
pages 29-41

STRAYING AWAY FROM THE MALE GAZE

14min
pages 18-28

N T s 110

4min
pages 5-17

ABOUT THE ISSUE

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