the relationships we were designated or arranged to be a part of from birth. For example, I come from a very large family, like 23 great Aunts and Uncles type large. Every reunion we go to, I have an abacus to count up all the new kids whose parents I can’t connect the dots to. Even though I can’t name them all, I genuinely love every one of them. Granted, I don’t necessarily like all of them all the time, but that’s normal, or I feel like it at least should be. Maybe it’s a generational thing but the saying “you have to love them because they’re family” definitely doesn’t mean you have to like them all the time. People tend to use that label of “being family” or “being related” as a hall pass to say or do whatever it is they feel like, and that’s just not how this works. Cross anybody one too many times, and that bridge is burned, they may still send a carrier pigeon over a few times, but that’s about it.
getting those good shoes dirty even if you’re grown, show them you still got it. Bring something to drink with you as the cousins and friends (plus that one really cool Uncle) take “the walk” before it’s time to eat. Celebrate life with the people who add positivity to yours and their own. Build relationships worth building and remove those not worth keeping. Life is too short, and the “itis” naps are getting longer.
Photography by: Humprey Muleba
As the saying goes, thoughts and prayers from a distance. As harsh as it sounds, I truly feel like, in some instances, that would be the healthiest approach during this time of year. Don’t try and force your way in or force somebody else into something in the name of holiday cheer. Cut you a slice of pie and go sit down somewhere. You may never know how somebody feels or why they feel that way, and that’s completely okay. They, just like you, have a right to their own thoughts and feelings. Like I said before, family is family, but that’s not a viable reason to self-sabotage your way through the Holidays or life in general. Our family members are still human beings, and human beings are far from perfect in every sense of the word. For example, if you’re a believer, you’ve been taught your entire life that we were made in His image while being given dominion over OUR choices. Whichever path we take is up to us but continue to have the faith that His guidance will light the path. Do you know how many paths 7.7 billion-plus people can make and take?!?! Way too many paths to lose sight of your own trying to get somebody else to like yours, let alone follow it. So this Holiday season, I ask you to please enjoy YOUR company. Be with YOUR people. Do what makes YOU happy and stop trying to convince others that you pass their vibe check. Enjoy the Uncles as they reminisce about the glory days while trying to remember “that one year Chevy made that thing,” and they “took ole girl to the movies with $10”. Laugh with all the Aunts as they judge the worthiness of outfits and try to figure out who’s “Lil Friend” has her shoulders and knees out around the food and why. Go ahead and check in on the random room full of babies napping as the parents catch a break. Run with all of the kids outside SwagHer Magazine
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