Volume 1, Issue 2 | 9/7/11 - 9/28/11 | www.theblacksheeponline.com
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Black Sheep
“A College Newspaper That’s Actually About College”
What Your Major is Going to Really Mean monty miller wrote this Have you slipped into the daily routine of the school year yet, with your fancy learnin’ books and shiny, new computing devices? If not, you better start quickly, because the schoolwork is going to start piling on faster than you know. Whether that work is going to be difficult or easy is a whole other question. You know that thing that old people always ask you about when they know you go to college, your “major’? As it turns out, this supposed “major” is actually a very important choice. So important that it affect your experience while here at Ole Miss, both in terms of how much work you’re going to have to do, and the amount of drinking you’re going to have to sacrifice to get that work done. It also affects your life in the “real world.” Sometimes it can get a little confusing, but have no fear, here’s a quick reference list for briefing yourself on the present and the future of your respective major: Biology, Chemistry: If you’re in biology or chemistry it probably means you’re Pre-Med as well. Either you love setting goals for yourself that you can never actually attain, or you’re pretty on the ball and actually love studying. One’s ability to pull this off means one can look forward to either more school or a lot more school once you’re out of undergrad. Enjoy. Business: Bring your calculators to these classes, kids, because no matter what crazy-specific thing you want to do involving this very-broad major; it’s going involve taking classes about numbers. Future success can depend on the person, but more importantly, the people that person knows. Accounting: Speaking of numbers, if you’re an accounting major you really have to love the things. You also really have to love a future specifically involving numbers, with less emphasis on fun, love, or any basic-level human interaction. Once
Other stuff
Inside
04: Know Your Enemy: Mississippi State University In short, they suck.
February rolls around beware, your life will be a shitpile until tax season is over. Marketing: Guess you’ve been watching a lot of Mad Men lately, haven’t you? I’m not so sure it really works that way anymore, or maybe it does. If so, that kicks ass, good luck drinking all day, cheating on your wife and mistress with your other mistress and showing up hungover, but on time and looking dapper. Political Science: You love to argue, and also think you know more than you actually do. This also goes for your professors, so good luck getting any actual learning in. A PoliSci major’s future branches off into two very distinct directions: law school with the business majors, and homeless shelters for with the philosophy majors. Each lifestyle features a whole lot of arguing, but one is about life-and-death matters, the other, a sandwich. English, History, Education: You’re probably going to be really poor. Journalism: This is pretty hip right now, in the worst way. Everyone wants to be a journalist, but with the death of print journalism and the polarization of cable news networks, um, who is doing actual news anymore? Criminal Justice: There’s a very strong possibility you’re on the football team. I love football. I also love justice, so this is all good with me. Does it look like your post-college life is going to be filled with cheap lunch meats on even cheaper white bread in some 1-bedroom studio apartment with your 1989 Toyota Tercel? It’s not too late! Change your major, plead with your parents and spend another few years at this illustrious university, it’s the perfect plan.
06: top 10
here are some awesome stupid ways to get arrested in oxford!
14: New Show Schizo:
What you "should" be watching on TV this fall.