Volume 1, Issue 1 | 10/13/11 - 10/27/11 | theblacksheeponline.com
Fre e roo...like mm clo ate the 's c s in los yo et ur !
The
Black Sheep
“A College Newspaper That’s Actually About College”
Minnesota, Will You Marry Me? The University of Minnesota is the best place in the world, plain and simple. Everybody here brings something to the table, unless they’re passed out under it. We all love UM, and love is a big word. I mean, just look at the University of Minnesota. Look at her hard, like she’s some random person on campus that you’ve been trying to pick up since you moved back from your summer internship. Gaze deep into her eyes and soak up all of her magic. She may even be “the one.” The first time you met her the only thing you could think about wasn’t her crazy and diverse personality, it was that hot body. Wisconsin and North Dakota State don’t even compare to the smoking piece of Gopher ass that is UM. She’s just so obviously attractive. She’s not someone that you would bring home to meet mommy and daddy for a Sunday brunch after church. No, they’d immediately know something was up. However, before you get to know lovely Minnesota on a personal level, you need to dig deep and accept her for who she really is. One must be open minded, figuratively and literally, when it comes to getting to know her. She’s covered with piercings, plaid, boat shoes, afro picks and booty shorts. Not everybody is into this eccentric combination, but that’s okay because UM doesn’t give a shit about what other people think. Okay, but let’s be honest, sometimes the University of Minnesota thinks it’s necessary to act like a kooky misfit, doodling in her sketchbook in the park and smoking menthols to look like she’s eccentric. Sometimes she may even ride incredibly slowly on her longboard listening to dubstep and chugging on her leftover
Other stuff
Inside
04: The "faux" beer taste test see what happens when we swap real beer for fake...
PBR from a frat party. Still, it’s her purposefully odd nature that makes UM so appealing. Now, Minnesota may be hot (and cold), but she also has depth as well. She understands that it’s okay to be a bitch or a slut as long as that only makes up a tiny percentage of who she is. She enjoys having a large variety of friends including, but not limited to businessmen, animal rights activists, religiously intolerant preachers, engineers, crazy artists, athletes and doctors. UM prides herself in her eclectic group of companions. Not only is she friends with all of these types of people, but she also takes the time to be actively involved in all of her friends’ endeavors. She’s good enough to teach her pals how to do something, she can help them in their business, defend them in the courtroom and still have enough time left over at the end of the day to check out a The Hold Steady show before waking up the next morning to participate in a big-time conference sporting event held in one of the most vibrant cities in America. Yeah, executive boards all over the country have recognized that she has an overwhelming amount of originality, creativity and independent thought constantly brewing up inside her beautiful little head. UM doesn’t want to be like other people she sees. She wants to stand out and say “Screw you” to all of those people who are too average to accept her for her differences. And, after a hard day, all she really wants to do is hit the bar for 2-for-$1 PBRs and watch some Monday Night Football. After all is said and done, the only thing you can really do is continue gazing into those golden eyes and say, “Minnesota, will you marry me?”
06: oh, minnesota sports
did anyone think it would really be this bad?
13: the black sheep interviews:
dan whitford from cut copy