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• a college newspaper that’s actually about college •
Volume 2, Issue 2 2/08/12 - 2/22/12
theblacksheeponline.com
The Compass:
The Good, The Bad, and The Bible Thumping Lanee’ Sanders wrote this You’re walking to class, minding your own business, risking you life, hustling down the uneven brick sidewalk to avoid awkwardly walking into class late, when you get stopped in the Compass. Now, some of the people you’ll meet in the Compass are lovely and definitely worth 15 seconds of your time, but there are others that you must avoid with all of your might. People You Should Miss: People With Graphic Brochures I’m all for people supporting a cause they believe in. You live in America, relish in it. However, nothing brings down my sunshiny day like a stranger handing me a pamphlet filled with disturbing images. Now, I get that I’m supposed to be shocked into joining your cause, but seeing deformed fetuses and tortured animals just makes me want to put even more distance between you and me. Also, there’s no way those scare tactics are going to make it past the first trashcan I spot out.
and why not? They don’t have lectures to go to or homework to start.
Religious Zealots Now, I’m not talking about those harmless old men who give out Bibles like they’re lollipops. I’m talking about the welldressed fellows who travel miles and miles to campus, just to tell everyone they meet that they’re going to burn in Hell. These men can be hilarious, and will probably tell you that you have Chlamydia or that your mother is a whore. Unfortunately, once you start listening to these crazies it can be hard to stop. It’s like watching a train wreck, if the train was really sweaty and judgmental.
People You Shouldn’t Miss: Baked Goods As someone who could live off of cookies, I always appreciate organizations fundraising with baked goods in the Compass. Brownies, donuts, and muffins are a perfectly good excuse to be a couple seconds late to class. They’re always delicious. They’re always cheap, and apparently the money is going to a good cause, too. It’s worth the diabetes If it prevents a kid from getting it, right?
Random Non-VCU Students You know those guys who sit by the library and never go to class and always try to get your number and your swipes? Avoid them at all costs. They don’t go to school here, they aren’t trying to go to school here, and if you speak to them once they will never forget you. They will talk to you forever,
A Flash Mob VCU is in on the flash mob craze, and it is a beautiful thing. Random dancing is just a good time, and there’s a good chance that someone you know is in the mob. They’re usually only a few minutes, and if you see your professor tapping their foot next to you, you’re probably not going to be
Other stuff
Inside
if you’re lacking $$$, Valentine’s Day can still make sense.
see page 5
A Guide to a Frugal Valentine’s Day
marked tardy. People Giving Out Free Hugs Okay, so this could be a good thing or a bad thing depending on how much affection you received as a child. Personally, when I’m just down in the dumps, I’m all about hugging some stranger. It seems a little creepy, but those huggers are genuinely nice people who really want your day to be better. They’re not as warm and inviting as baked goods, but then again, hugs never made anybody fat. If the Compass is swarming with people to avoid and lacking in the happy department, just try to look totally unapproachable. Walk fast and remember to put on your headphones. Even if they’re not plugged into anything, people will probably not bother you. Also don’t smile, showing off good dental hygiene is cool, but at what cost? Follow these simple tips and the only reason you should be late to class is because you suck at waking up on time.
here’s how to make sure you’re the one getting some.
The season of loving isn’t always what it’s cracked up to be.
see page 9
see page 12
Ten Commandments of Club Etiquette
You’re Real, Real Fake