Volume 8
The Black Sheep
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The College Newspaper That's Actually About College
Issue 6
THE BLACK SHEEP INTERVIEWS:
TILLMAN HALL
Justin Lee Campbell wrote this
Eclipsing the daily difficulty of figuring out what songs Tillman Hall actually plays, the renaming debate still divides the campus. Those wanting to rename it cite racism and the possibility that Benjamin Hall will return from the dead with a legion of racist goblins and re-segregate Clemson. Those wanting to keep the name make vague comments about tradition and warn that renaming it might provoke the Almighty Tillman to trap all who dare breach Bowman Field in a never-ending match of ultimate Frisbee. But what does Tillman Hall think? The Black Sheep sat down with the building for an exclusive interview. The Black Sheep: Hi, Mr... uh. Wow, this is awkward. Sorry. What would you like to be called? Tillman Hall: That’s alright, no need to apologize. My official name is Tillman Hall, so in respect for the powers who control such matters, it will remain so… for now. TBS: Awesome. So, Mr. Hall, how are— TH: Please, call me Tillman. TBS: Okay, whatevs. So, how are you holding up, given all this name stuff going on? TH: I’m holding up well, thank you. When the news, the cameras, and the roaring hysteria start grating on my bricks, I distract myself by adhering to a disciplined schedule. Focusing on my duties of sheltering my fellow Clemsonites, promptly reporting the time, and playing beautiful music keeps me grounded. TBS: No pun intended, right?! TH: Excuse me? TBS: Well, you said ‘grounded,’ and you literally live… uh, never mind. Sorry for interrupting. TH: As I was saying, I don’t have time to referee a shouting match. TBS: You think it’s just a shouting match? TH: I certainly do. Passion is important, but so is equanimity. When people care more about winning than understanding one another, irascible mobs form and a cacophony of complaints drown out those trying to engage in an adult dialogue. It’s all about how to progress into the future, while honoring Clemson’s past.
TBS: No f***ing idea what you just said. Look, we need something other than a sleazy expose on skeletons in Brackett’s closets. Could you at least tell us if you want to be renamed? TH: Young man, I’m glad you asked. Yes, I want to be renamed. TBS: Oh, shit! This is money! I mean, uh, that’s interesting. Do you have a name in mind? TH: Yes, Ke$ha. TBS: I’m sorry, it sounded like you said ‘Kesha?’ TH: I did indeed, sir, and spelled with the dollar sign. Dropping it for that boring squiggle of an ‘s’ was a mistake. TBS: This really is money! No pun inten—…I mean, why Ke$ha? TS: It isn’t complicated. I just like her music. TBS: Really? What do you like about it?
TS: Her marvelous melodies are energizing, enlivening, and uplifting. TBS: It’s surprising, given your level of sophistication, that— TH: I hope you aren’t implying Ke$ha is unsophisticated! She’s the paragon of her profession! TBS: Sorry, dude. Didn’t mean to offend. TH: That’s quite alright. She’s just so... angelic. TBS: So, what’s your favorite song of hers? TH: “Tik Tok” – that’s my motherf***ing jam. Tillman spent the rest of the interview gassing on about his love for Ke$ha, so we’ll just end it here. Clearly, even the historic building has its opinion on its name change, but it’s hard to settle an argument when neither side will yield. Maybe we should just give up, stop caring, and name it Ke$ha.
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PAGES 10-11
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MARCH 25TH, 2015 - APRIL 8TH, 2015
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